Mad Men s04e12 Episode Script
Blowing Smoke
First, I want to assure you that no one at my agency knows about this meeting.
-I appreciate that.
-I'm here to help.
I have my own thoughts, but how would you describe your Well, your current frustrations? During the war, Heinz was all about beans, but now, obviously, ketchup is king.
I'm happy for the company, but I'm afraid we've become the fading older sister.
So ketchup, chili sauce and soup end up over at DDB, and vinegar, sauces and beans end up at Ketchum MacLeod.
I don't know why I'm disappointed, I asked for straightforward.
I just thought they would talk me out of it.
They obviously don't know what kind of client you are.
Well, I've been working a long time.
I know that despite the public's imagination, food is cyclical.
I don't mean seasonal.
But I mean, literally, there's a time for beans, and there's a time for ketchup.
But I don't have that time, so I wanna force the issue.
You know, something inventive.
Humor worked with the pickles, but pickles are funny.
The way beans are funny, we can't use that.
We have to fight it, actually.
Well, it's very possible that Heinz beans don't need to be funny, because they're a food, not a condiment.
They're substantial.
You know, I'd love to have that conversation.
And the reason I agreed to meet with you is because I hoped it would spark something, and maybe six to eight months from now you can call me with a humdinger.
How about six days? No.
No, this is my point.
I want to move, but there's a lot that goes with it.
There's a breaking-in period that's months.
-That's true, but -I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I don't know that your company will be here in six months.
I do.
That's what I'm hoping.
That's why my answer is not "No," it's just "Not now.
" So where's the harm in coming in and hearing some ideas? Because I can't afford to move my business a third time in two years.
I just can't.
I see.
So, that's where we are.
Hold on.
Raymond, I will have an exciting idea.
I happen to know that.
Would a discounted commission make up for the break-in period? I bet I could get a date with your mother right now.
Well, you can see why I don't want to let this go.
Look, Don, you're a hell of an idea man, but let the account boys do this part.
I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you.
It was really great to meet you.
Excuse me, waiter.
Sally, Bobby! You're filthy.
Can I take it away from him? The spoon or the screaming, take your pick.
I want two hot dogs.
Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
How come we never eat with Henry? First of all, he works until late and you're always saying, "I'm hungry.
" Second of all, you don't eat the same food.
I'll try new food.
Would you like to eat with Henry? Why don't Bobby and Gene eat first, and I'll wait to eat with you and Henry? Okay.
Let me think about it.
Okay.
You're paying me to assess your situation, but I could've told you from three blocks away that signing new business, no matter what the size, is of the essence.
Not only because your billings have shrunk by 50%, but because there's not much time before you'll be perceived as stagnant, or worse, decaying.
Listen, Doctor, we know there's a black spot on the x-ray.
You don't have to Keep tapping your finger on it.
I recommend that you do what you do best, cigarettes.
You understand the FTC.
You understand the Surgeon General.
You have a team in place with account management and media expertise which is up and running.
And, of course, you have Don.
You are a certain kind of girl, and tobacco is your ideal boyfriend.
Can you get us a date? Philip Morris is introducing a new brand for young women, hoping to have it on the market in 18 months, and they'd like a new agency on it from the ground floor.
How much is it? Close to $5 million.
It's a start.
Wonderful.
And what stage of the process has your influence bought us? A meeting.
No one else has one.
We will listen more than we will speak.
Like a good girlfriend.
Sounds great.
I concur.
All I'm saying is we should be going after something as big as what we had.
It'd cost a fortune to pursue one when it's in review.
And they're impossible to pry away.
Our day-to-day payroll will be beyond us by the next billing cycle.
We should start thinking about reducing staff and subletting the square footage.
Why even have an office? Why don't we just work out of a cab? And where does that leave me? Trying to get my calls returned with all the buying power of Secor Laxative? We gave him Don and a finder's fee.
He should've aimed higher.
I just left Geyer for this.
Do you think those clients are in love with me? I'm getting married in October! It's gonna be barefoot in the park.
These things go in streaks.
And Don Draper with a cigarette company? We get this vote of confidence, and we move from there.
Marlboro was their women's cigarette.
Well, they certainly ran away from that in the right direction.
You know, beans, vinegars and sauces was very impressed.
Thank you for that, but thank you much more for this.
This is what I was hoping for.
Good.
Geoff's excited.
Study up.
I have dinner plans but call me tonight, even if it's just to work.
It's a summer practice helmet.
it's not as good.
It smells.
Well, you're there all the time.
What do you talk about? Didn't you go? Yeah, but psychiatrists are easy to fool.
Dr.
Edna's smart.
She tell you to kiss your mom's ass? No.
So who's smarter, me or her? You want one? No.
Do you talk to your mom about me? I did, and I don't anymore.
She doesn't like me.
She thinks She doesn't like kids.
That's not true.
You're the one who's always saying how mean she is.
So what? -I've gotta go.
-Okay.
See you later, alligator.
Don.
Midge.
I just came out from a meeting at a magazine related to Time Life and I saw this dashing figure.
Where are you going with so much purpose? Home.
You look good.
I'm skinny.
Starving artist.
-Did you move here? -Yes.
Well, I have my own firm now.
Draper, Draper and Draper? Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.
Well, it sounds impressive.
There are good days and bad days, like anything else.
So you wouldn't happen to need any freelance artists, would you? I wish I could help right now.
Maybe in six months.
You can use me as a reference.
Really? I thought I would've run into you in The Village.
I'm always expecting to see you in the park.
What are you doing in The Village? Admiring the wildlife? I live there, on Waverly.
Yeah.
So what's the rush to go home? Come over.
I have a big meeting tomorrow.
Maybe some other time.
Not even to meet my husband? -Really? -Well, it's not romantic.
We just got married for the bread.
We'll eat, you'll buy a painting, I'll cheer you up.
Look, I lost my purse.
At least give me a ride downtown.
Okay.
I told her I brushed my teeth, but she said I still smelled like spaghetti.
And what did you do? I brushed my teeth again.
And what did she do? She doesn't care what the truth is as long as I do what she says.
Got any sevens? Nope.
Go fish.
I hate sevens.
Why? I just do.
You know, I'm very proud of how you found a way to behave so well, even when you get so angry at your mother sometimes.
It's hard to control ourselves when we get so angry.
She just doesn't know that I'm mad.
As long as you know it.
I told you your mom acts that way because she has stresses.
Not because you're bad or that you did anything wrong.
I know.
Do you have any aces? No, go fish.
So now that you're back in school, we probably should be seeing a little less of each other.
Just one day a week.
So that you can ride your bike, and be with your friends and be in the ballet recital.
Okay.
Do you have any threes? I said I'm very proud of you.
Did you hear that? Do you have any jacks? Perry, we have company.
This is my friend, Don.
Perry.
Nice to meet you.
-Sorry to drop in, -Oh, no.
Why don't you offer Don a drink? Sure.
Don, what are you gonna have? I have vodka or brown? Whiskey's good.
Good.
Good.
I'll get a couple of glasses.
So you're a playwright? When we met, I said he looked like Brendan Behan.
You said Dylan Thomas.
Here we go.
To welcome company.
Let me go freshen up and make sure we have toilet paper.
So, Don, let me open your eyes for a minute.
Come here.
Can you believe this? -What's it called? -Number four The whole thing is about what she sees when she closes her eyes.
It's part of this thing that she's doing.
It's called an afterimage.
What's more real? It's nice.
You know, I have a price list somewhere.
Of course, you know, whatever you're willing to pay.
I mean, I Know she'd love for you to have one.
Let me think about it.
You know, it's not hard to see things are a little tough around here, but she digs you.
And I could tell you she'd do anything if you bought one.
Are you sure about that? We're not possessive, and you should've heard how excited she was when she tracked you down.
What? You know, the look on her face when she walked in here with you.
See, I knew I shouldn't have left you two alone.
Are you kidding? We're getting along famously.
You know what? I'm gonna get some groceries and whip up a great meal.
Midge? Honey? She lost her purse.
Right.
Don, don't.
My father owned a restaurant.
I can make chicken cordon bleu.
Here.
How about that? $107 Well, okay.
You two sit tight.
I'll be right back.
-He's very interesting.
-He's an idiot.
He's just gonna go out and put that in his arm.
And you could've gotten so much more from me.
That's why you tracked me down, like James Bond.
God! He's such an idiot.
I just wanted you to buy a painting.
I swear.
What's it like? It's like drinking 100 bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits.
I can see it's very good.
He said it would help me take my mind off my work.
Turns out, it's a full-time job.
Why don't you stop? I know it's bad for me, but It's heroin, Don.
I just can't stop.
I am glad to see you, you know? This is $300.
You know, for Number four over there.
Don.
What am I gonna do with a check? Here's $120 in cash.
Do you think my work's any good? Does it matter? You know, I don't even have car fare.
You can walk across the park.
Do some advertising for me.
Like a sandwich board.
It's really great to see you, Don.
I'm glad you haven't changed.
It was the way he slammed the car door like that.
It was so dismissive.
It reminded me of Don, but, of course, it wasn't.
When I confronted him later, it turned out he hadn't heard me.
That's what he said, anyway.
Well, you learned something, didn't you? I did.
Our time is almost up, so I thought that I should tell you that I believe Sally has made wonderful progress, and that I'd like to reduce her sessions to once a week and see where we are.
So she's cured? She's not better.
She ran away.
And she understands what she did was wrong, and she's been very responsible since.
Her life is chaotic, and I'm afraid of losing this influence.
I've noticed that every time you come in here, you have many things on your mind.
And I feel that you should have your own time where you get to say everything you want to say.
I have a very talented colleague, Dr.
Evelyn Shapiro, whom I can recommend.
Why can't I talk to you? Betty, you can talk to me but, you know, I'm a child psychiatrist.
Well, I don't need a psychiatrist.
I just Obviously, I'm willing to do whatever you recommend as Sally progresses.
And I would hope, of course, that if she continues to make progress, that we could continue to discuss that.
Of course.
So I'll keep you in the books for next month.
If you think so.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.
-You wanted to see me? -I did.
-Did you do all the reading? -Yes.
If strategy comes up, and it usually doesn't at this point, what do you think they think the strength is of this product? Well, as you know, it's pointless to get women to switch from men's brands.
Nobody switches.
They're probably looking for a new way to give them out for free.
Sorry to interrupt.
Mr.
Draper, Dr.
Atherton is on his way up, the partners are gathering in the lobby, and Dr.
Miller called to say, "Break a leg.
" Thank you.
What were you saying? I was saying you're gonna do great.
Morning.
I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news.
They canceled the meeting.
-Are you kidding me? -What? They decided to give it to Leo Burnett.
Burnett has Marlboro already.
I thought they wanted a fresh start with this.
So did I.
They're excited to see where you are in six months.
Six months means never.
They're letting us die.
I thought this was a sure thing.
Down the road, perhaps.
There's no reason to be discouraged.
The wind is blowing ice cold out there.
We can't even get a meeting with a damn tobacco account! Take it inside.
You're an asshole, you know that? Mr.
Crane, out.
They can't even dignify us with an excuse? They don't need an excuse.
It's because we're desperate.
They can smell it on us.
We reek of it like some sweaty salesman knocking on his last door! Because we're going after scraps.
What about United Airlines, General Motors? -Do you think that's easier? -Then what? You have a plan? I'm out there beating the bushes every day for anything.
-You should try it.
-Just out of caution, I met with the bank.
They've agreed to extend our line of credit, but they would like us to post some collateral.
You went to the bank? There's a vote of confidence.
$100,000 each from the senior partners, and $50,000 from Mr.
Campbell and I would buy us six months or so, provided we make a drastic reduction in staff.
$50,000? Absolutely not.
It's an obligation of your contract.
All we need is a bridge to cold and flu season and Vicks will take us to the holidays.
Sugarberry Hams will pick up.
Samsonite It's a hardship for me as well, but it's a necessity.
We should move.
We should never have been here.
You think we look desperate now? Well, if you figure it out, you Know where to find me.
For a little while, anyway.
And then I was floating over town.
Standing straight up, not like Superman.
Only it wasn't Ossining, it was London.
Like Mary Poppins.
Do you want the backwash? I fly in some of my dreams.
It feels like being in the ocean.
I just felt like I was going to heaven, except I don't believe in it.
You don't? Then what happens when you die? Nothing? It doesn't really bother me, except for it's forever.
When I think about forever, I get upset.
Like the Land O' Lakes butter has that Indian girl, sitting, holding a box.
And it has a picture of her on it, holding a box.
With a picture of her on it, holding a box.
Have you ever noticed that? I wish you wouldn't have said that.
Sorry.
I have to go.
Yeah, I should, too.
I'll save my Fritos for you.
-May I speak with you? -Are you busy? No.
Do you want one? No.
Philip Morris set up the meeting, then told Leo Burnett about it to leverage a sweeter deal.
So they used us.
Is that supposed to make me feel better? Everyone at Burnett is already bragging about how we never even got a meeting.
What do you want? I wanna know why I'm being punished for being the only business left around here- We're all being punished.
I don't have that kind of money.
Pete, I'm doing everything I can.
Get me in a room.
-Miss Olson to see you.
-Come in! Everybody's waiting in the conference room.
For what? Well, we were all gonna leave when you left, but you didn't go, so what should we do? -I don't care.
-What happened? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
What are we gonna do? Peggy, it's not your problem.
I know, but I have been thinking about the company, and I was wondering what you thought about You know, why don't we just change our name? If this was a dog food, we'd change the name.
We can't start over.
We just started.
You always say, "if you don't like what they're saying about you, -"change the conversation.
" -To what? What they're saying about us is true.
So there's nothing we can do? Sure there is.
We're gonna sit at our desks and keep typing while the walls fall down around us, because we're creative.
The least important most important thing there is.
You can't slam the door like that.
Why didn't you call me back? The bank called.
Something about a loan application? -They called here? -Yes.
Do you have something you want to tell me? It's not important.
To think you still want to surprise me after five years of marriage.
When can I start looking? I'm so in love with Greenwich.
We're not buying a house, Trudy.
The partners each need to put in a lump sum to keep the payroll we have going, so people don't lose their jobs.
What? How much? Well, it's $50,000, and we have $22,000 in the bank, not counting the baby gifts, which will remain for the baby.
It's all for the baby, for Tammy to have a yard to run around in.
Central Park was good enough for me.
When you bet big and lose, you don't double down.
It's in my contract.
I'll lose my partnership.
You'll lose your stateroom on the Titanic? You are forbidden to give anything more to that company.
You don't get to forbid me.
Lower your voice! And don't even think about asking my father.
âWhy I'm quitting tobacco.
" "Recently, my advertising agency âended a long relationship with Lucky Strike cigarettes.
"And i'm relieved.
âFor over 25 years, we devoted ourselves to peddling a product âfor which good work is irrelevant, âbecause people can't stop themselves from buying it.
âThe product that never improves, âcauses illness and makes people unhappy.
âBut there was money in it.
"A lot of money.
âIn fact, our entire business depended on it.
âWe knew it wasn't good for us, but we couldn't stop.
"And then, when Lucky Strike moved their business elsewhere, âl realized here was my chance to be someone who can sleep at night âbecause I know what i'm selling doesn't kill my customers.
"So as of today, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce "will no longer take tobacco accounts.
We know it's gonna be hard.
âIf you're interested in cigarette work, here's a list of agencies that do it well: "BBDO, Leo Burnett, McCann Erickson, "Cutler Gleason and Chaough and Benton and Bowles.
" "As for us, we welcome all other business, "because we're certain that our best work is still ahead of us.
"Sincerely, Donald F.
Draper, "Creative Director, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.
" -Good morning, Don.
-Stan.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Any calls? Yes, quite a few.
Mostly reporters and citizens, Dr.
Miller.
Anyone else? Someone named Emerson Foote and people from those agencies you mentioned.
They're looking for you.
Can you get Dr.
Miller? Somebody used your name to end our business in the newspaper.
-it's not you, is it? -It's suicide! It's insane! How the hell could you do this? Why would you do this? Because someone had to do something.
You put the company name on it.
You should've consulted us.
Why? To evaluate its strengths and weaknesses? To knock it down to risk versus reward? It's done! And I slept last night for the first time in a month.
You slept? Really? You weren't smiling, thinking about the taste of shit that would be in everybody's mouth over breakfast today? No one asked you to euthanize this company.
What did you expect, for us to pat you on the back? Don't you realize the clients are all going to think you could turn on them at any minute? I'm not going to explain to you what I did.
It's an ad for this agency.
If you don't understand it, then you shouldn't be in this business.
You humiliated us by not putting our names on it! You left us with this hypocrisy! So deny it! I did what I thought was best for the company.
You can either back me or not.
You did what was best for you, because you're impatient and childish.
You had a tantrum on a full page in The New York Times.
So no one is happy about this? I don't know.
It's good enough to be the reason this place went down anymore.
-Excuse me.
-Yes? There's someone calling from Senator Kennedy's office.
Robert Kennedy wants to speak with you.
Please hold for the Senator.
Ls this here Don Draper? -Yes.
-This is Bobby Kennedy.
How are you this lovely morning? I'm well.
Thank you, Senator.
Bobby, please.
Listen, I just wanted to say that I admire your fortitude and vigor and standing up to what I consider to be one of the great menaces to this civilization as we know it.
That's very flattering- I have one question: Does your company represent Secor Laxatives? Yes.
Yes, we do.
Well, are you gonna be writing anything against them? Because I want to make it clear that I am firmly anti-laxative- Who the hell is this? Teddy Chaough.
Thanks for sticking my name in there with the big boys.
A full-page ad in The Times.
What did that run you? A little mix-up there.
That was Eunice Kennedy.
Keep joking.
You're cynical and craven.
Tobacco put a roof over your head and it fed your children.
And then it killed my business.
I never thought you had the stomach for a partnership.
I'm no longer a part of this agency.
You there, get my shoes.
Bert, calm down.
I will not.
We've created a monster.
I've already informed the other partners.
I'll need your contribution by close of business, as it were.
You know this could work.
Do you realize I've just moved my family back here? I'm terribly sorry about that.
Did you get Dr.
Miller? Yes, but you were on with You were on the phone.
She said she'd stop by later.
Okay, that'll be all.
By the way, I loved the letter.
I love that you stand for something.
Megan, that's not really what it's about.
I know that part.
I know it was about "he didn't dump me, I dumped him.
" I just love that you did it.
It feels different around here.
Thank you.
-So who else called? -Everyone who's anyone.
"Smokey the Bear, Smokey Robinson, "Chiquita Banana, Aunt Jemima.
" Is he gonna quit smoking? You're an idiot.
I heard from all my clients this morning, mostly out of morbid curiosity.
But one tning's for sure, tney're not talking about Lucky Strike anymore.
Well, I think that was the whole idea.
They're gonna fire everybody, or worse, make me fire everybody.
Well, it's been a pleasure working with you all.
I wish you the best of luck.
I didn't think they'd start with him.
Peggy, Mr.
Draper wants to see you.
Okay.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.
-Should I close the door? -Yes.
Should I sit down? Who can you live without? Good.
I mean, not good, but, you know Well, Danny, obviously, though he's Kind of grown on me.
Lane sent over a memo with suggestions.
"All of the tobacco people, Mark Coyle, Wuzna" The Polish kid, "Danny and Bill.
" That's a lot of people.
Are we going under? No.
Of course not.
I just wanted to give you notice so when they all come to you, you'll know what's going on.
Okay.
So? You haven't said anything about the letter.
I thought you didn't go in for those kinds of shenanigans.
Sally Draper.
Stop, both of you.
What are you doing here? You stay away from her! You hear me? Let's go.
We're not going back for your bike.
I told you, he's my friend.
We don't do anything.
That boy is bad.
No, he's not.
Believe me.
I know him better than you do.
You don't know him at all.
Go to your room.
You stopped by.
Yes.
I'm glad to see you smiling.
Well, they all want to kill me, but I have a bodyguard.
-Can I get you anything? -No, thank you.
What's this? My things.
We had to resign.
Geoff Atherton wants another cigarette account someday.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't think about that.
I know.
I'm really sorry.
So, you're gonna make it through this day, then you're going to leave this office, meet me for dinner in the open, wherever I want, and we're gonna talk about anything but work, because we can do that now.
It's a fair trade.
La Caravelle, 8:00? Sure.
Have your girl make reservations.
Just wanted to say goodbye.
No.
What happened? Tobacco is very touchy.
Who's gonna do our research? You know, I just lost one of my best jobs- No, I mean, I love working with you.
Would you have a drink with me? -I don't want to linger.
-Not right now.
Just I hate to think I'm not gonna see you.
That's sweet.
No, I mean it.
You do your job so well, and they respect you, and you don't have to play any games.
I didn't know that was possible.
Is that what it looks like? I'm sure we'll work together again, somewhere.
Hello there.
So I'm home early for a family dinner.
They couldn't wait.
We can eat later.
I'll eat with this crowd.
Well, I had quite a day.
That doesn't sound good.
It's this neighborhood.
It's being taken over by low-caliber people.
I think it's time for us to move.
Great.
You know how I feel about it.
I like that place in Rye.
Rye? Isn't that where Playland is? She'll get over it.
Roger, Don, Harry and myself should probably begin the process of letting people go to avoid any further damage to morale.
And please try and limit any sympathetic adjustments to severance.
Yes, and as Lane mentioned, we'll try to hold onto any Staplers, scissors, hole punches and tape dispensers.
They do disappear.
Don, are you ever gonna call back the American Cancer Society? They've tried you twice this morning.
I saw that.
it's a joke.
It's not.
They finally called me.
They want us to come in and meet about an anti-smoking campaign.
Really? Took me about five minutes to stop laughing.
I hope I didn't blow it.
Well, that's interesting, right? Great.
Public service.
Free work.
That's just what we should be doing right now.
It's prestigious.
But we can't eat prestige.
Someone called us.
We could have new work on the air.
There's a lot of bigwigs on the board.
Under normal circumstances, I would consider this an opportunity.
Absolutely.
Yes, Don saved the company.
Now go get rid of half of it.
We should probably stay in here.
I suppose.
Lane, may I speak with you a moment? Well, I've gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them.
I know you said the end of business today, but that money, I don't have it.
Is there any way I can owe it on advance against bonus or future salary? Calm yourself.
Don paid your share.
What? Perhaps you weren't supposed to know that.
Well, thank you for the opportunity.
It was my pleasure.
Bill.
-I appreciate that.
-I'm here to help.
I have my own thoughts, but how would you describe your Well, your current frustrations? During the war, Heinz was all about beans, but now, obviously, ketchup is king.
I'm happy for the company, but I'm afraid we've become the fading older sister.
So ketchup, chili sauce and soup end up over at DDB, and vinegar, sauces and beans end up at Ketchum MacLeod.
I don't know why I'm disappointed, I asked for straightforward.
I just thought they would talk me out of it.
They obviously don't know what kind of client you are.
Well, I've been working a long time.
I know that despite the public's imagination, food is cyclical.
I don't mean seasonal.
But I mean, literally, there's a time for beans, and there's a time for ketchup.
But I don't have that time, so I wanna force the issue.
You know, something inventive.
Humor worked with the pickles, but pickles are funny.
The way beans are funny, we can't use that.
We have to fight it, actually.
Well, it's very possible that Heinz beans don't need to be funny, because they're a food, not a condiment.
They're substantial.
You know, I'd love to have that conversation.
And the reason I agreed to meet with you is because I hoped it would spark something, and maybe six to eight months from now you can call me with a humdinger.
How about six days? No.
No, this is my point.
I want to move, but there's a lot that goes with it.
There's a breaking-in period that's months.
-That's true, but -I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I don't know that your company will be here in six months.
I do.
That's what I'm hoping.
That's why my answer is not "No," it's just "Not now.
" So where's the harm in coming in and hearing some ideas? Because I can't afford to move my business a third time in two years.
I just can't.
I see.
So, that's where we are.
Hold on.
Raymond, I will have an exciting idea.
I happen to know that.
Would a discounted commission make up for the break-in period? I bet I could get a date with your mother right now.
Well, you can see why I don't want to let this go.
Look, Don, you're a hell of an idea man, but let the account boys do this part.
I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you.
It was really great to meet you.
Excuse me, waiter.
Sally, Bobby! You're filthy.
Can I take it away from him? The spoon or the screaming, take your pick.
I want two hot dogs.
Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
How come we never eat with Henry? First of all, he works until late and you're always saying, "I'm hungry.
" Second of all, you don't eat the same food.
I'll try new food.
Would you like to eat with Henry? Why don't Bobby and Gene eat first, and I'll wait to eat with you and Henry? Okay.
Let me think about it.
Okay.
You're paying me to assess your situation, but I could've told you from three blocks away that signing new business, no matter what the size, is of the essence.
Not only because your billings have shrunk by 50%, but because there's not much time before you'll be perceived as stagnant, or worse, decaying.
Listen, Doctor, we know there's a black spot on the x-ray.
You don't have to Keep tapping your finger on it.
I recommend that you do what you do best, cigarettes.
You understand the FTC.
You understand the Surgeon General.
You have a team in place with account management and media expertise which is up and running.
And, of course, you have Don.
You are a certain kind of girl, and tobacco is your ideal boyfriend.
Can you get us a date? Philip Morris is introducing a new brand for young women, hoping to have it on the market in 18 months, and they'd like a new agency on it from the ground floor.
How much is it? Close to $5 million.
It's a start.
Wonderful.
And what stage of the process has your influence bought us? A meeting.
No one else has one.
We will listen more than we will speak.
Like a good girlfriend.
Sounds great.
I concur.
All I'm saying is we should be going after something as big as what we had.
It'd cost a fortune to pursue one when it's in review.
And they're impossible to pry away.
Our day-to-day payroll will be beyond us by the next billing cycle.
We should start thinking about reducing staff and subletting the square footage.
Why even have an office? Why don't we just work out of a cab? And where does that leave me? Trying to get my calls returned with all the buying power of Secor Laxative? We gave him Don and a finder's fee.
He should've aimed higher.
I just left Geyer for this.
Do you think those clients are in love with me? I'm getting married in October! It's gonna be barefoot in the park.
These things go in streaks.
And Don Draper with a cigarette company? We get this vote of confidence, and we move from there.
Marlboro was their women's cigarette.
Well, they certainly ran away from that in the right direction.
You know, beans, vinegars and sauces was very impressed.
Thank you for that, but thank you much more for this.
This is what I was hoping for.
Good.
Geoff's excited.
Study up.
I have dinner plans but call me tonight, even if it's just to work.
It's a summer practice helmet.
it's not as good.
It smells.
Well, you're there all the time.
What do you talk about? Didn't you go? Yeah, but psychiatrists are easy to fool.
Dr.
Edna's smart.
She tell you to kiss your mom's ass? No.
So who's smarter, me or her? You want one? No.
Do you talk to your mom about me? I did, and I don't anymore.
She doesn't like me.
She thinks She doesn't like kids.
That's not true.
You're the one who's always saying how mean she is.
So what? -I've gotta go.
-Okay.
See you later, alligator.
Don.
Midge.
I just came out from a meeting at a magazine related to Time Life and I saw this dashing figure.
Where are you going with so much purpose? Home.
You look good.
I'm skinny.
Starving artist.
-Did you move here? -Yes.
Well, I have my own firm now.
Draper, Draper and Draper? Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.
Well, it sounds impressive.
There are good days and bad days, like anything else.
So you wouldn't happen to need any freelance artists, would you? I wish I could help right now.
Maybe in six months.
You can use me as a reference.
Really? I thought I would've run into you in The Village.
I'm always expecting to see you in the park.
What are you doing in The Village? Admiring the wildlife? I live there, on Waverly.
Yeah.
So what's the rush to go home? Come over.
I have a big meeting tomorrow.
Maybe some other time.
Not even to meet my husband? -Really? -Well, it's not romantic.
We just got married for the bread.
We'll eat, you'll buy a painting, I'll cheer you up.
Look, I lost my purse.
At least give me a ride downtown.
Okay.
I told her I brushed my teeth, but she said I still smelled like spaghetti.
And what did you do? I brushed my teeth again.
And what did she do? She doesn't care what the truth is as long as I do what she says.
Got any sevens? Nope.
Go fish.
I hate sevens.
Why? I just do.
You know, I'm very proud of how you found a way to behave so well, even when you get so angry at your mother sometimes.
It's hard to control ourselves when we get so angry.
She just doesn't know that I'm mad.
As long as you know it.
I told you your mom acts that way because she has stresses.
Not because you're bad or that you did anything wrong.
I know.
Do you have any aces? No, go fish.
So now that you're back in school, we probably should be seeing a little less of each other.
Just one day a week.
So that you can ride your bike, and be with your friends and be in the ballet recital.
Okay.
Do you have any threes? I said I'm very proud of you.
Did you hear that? Do you have any jacks? Perry, we have company.
This is my friend, Don.
Perry.
Nice to meet you.
-Sorry to drop in, -Oh, no.
Why don't you offer Don a drink? Sure.
Don, what are you gonna have? I have vodka or brown? Whiskey's good.
Good.
Good.
I'll get a couple of glasses.
So you're a playwright? When we met, I said he looked like Brendan Behan.
You said Dylan Thomas.
Here we go.
To welcome company.
Let me go freshen up and make sure we have toilet paper.
So, Don, let me open your eyes for a minute.
Come here.
Can you believe this? -What's it called? -Number four The whole thing is about what she sees when she closes her eyes.
It's part of this thing that she's doing.
It's called an afterimage.
What's more real? It's nice.
You know, I have a price list somewhere.
Of course, you know, whatever you're willing to pay.
I mean, I Know she'd love for you to have one.
Let me think about it.
You know, it's not hard to see things are a little tough around here, but she digs you.
And I could tell you she'd do anything if you bought one.
Are you sure about that? We're not possessive, and you should've heard how excited she was when she tracked you down.
What? You know, the look on her face when she walked in here with you.
See, I knew I shouldn't have left you two alone.
Are you kidding? We're getting along famously.
You know what? I'm gonna get some groceries and whip up a great meal.
Midge? Honey? She lost her purse.
Right.
Don, don't.
My father owned a restaurant.
I can make chicken cordon bleu.
Here.
How about that? $107 Well, okay.
You two sit tight.
I'll be right back.
-He's very interesting.
-He's an idiot.
He's just gonna go out and put that in his arm.
And you could've gotten so much more from me.
That's why you tracked me down, like James Bond.
God! He's such an idiot.
I just wanted you to buy a painting.
I swear.
What's it like? It's like drinking 100 bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits.
I can see it's very good.
He said it would help me take my mind off my work.
Turns out, it's a full-time job.
Why don't you stop? I know it's bad for me, but It's heroin, Don.
I just can't stop.
I am glad to see you, you know? This is $300.
You know, for Number four over there.
Don.
What am I gonna do with a check? Here's $120 in cash.
Do you think my work's any good? Does it matter? You know, I don't even have car fare.
You can walk across the park.
Do some advertising for me.
Like a sandwich board.
It's really great to see you, Don.
I'm glad you haven't changed.
It was the way he slammed the car door like that.
It was so dismissive.
It reminded me of Don, but, of course, it wasn't.
When I confronted him later, it turned out he hadn't heard me.
That's what he said, anyway.
Well, you learned something, didn't you? I did.
Our time is almost up, so I thought that I should tell you that I believe Sally has made wonderful progress, and that I'd like to reduce her sessions to once a week and see where we are.
So she's cured? She's not better.
She ran away.
And she understands what she did was wrong, and she's been very responsible since.
Her life is chaotic, and I'm afraid of losing this influence.
I've noticed that every time you come in here, you have many things on your mind.
And I feel that you should have your own time where you get to say everything you want to say.
I have a very talented colleague, Dr.
Evelyn Shapiro, whom I can recommend.
Why can't I talk to you? Betty, you can talk to me but, you know, I'm a child psychiatrist.
Well, I don't need a psychiatrist.
I just Obviously, I'm willing to do whatever you recommend as Sally progresses.
And I would hope, of course, that if she continues to make progress, that we could continue to discuss that.
Of course.
So I'll keep you in the books for next month.
If you think so.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.
-You wanted to see me? -I did.
-Did you do all the reading? -Yes.
If strategy comes up, and it usually doesn't at this point, what do you think they think the strength is of this product? Well, as you know, it's pointless to get women to switch from men's brands.
Nobody switches.
They're probably looking for a new way to give them out for free.
Sorry to interrupt.
Mr.
Draper, Dr.
Atherton is on his way up, the partners are gathering in the lobby, and Dr.
Miller called to say, "Break a leg.
" Thank you.
What were you saying? I was saying you're gonna do great.
Morning.
I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news.
They canceled the meeting.
-Are you kidding me? -What? They decided to give it to Leo Burnett.
Burnett has Marlboro already.
I thought they wanted a fresh start with this.
So did I.
They're excited to see where you are in six months.
Six months means never.
They're letting us die.
I thought this was a sure thing.
Down the road, perhaps.
There's no reason to be discouraged.
The wind is blowing ice cold out there.
We can't even get a meeting with a damn tobacco account! Take it inside.
You're an asshole, you know that? Mr.
Crane, out.
They can't even dignify us with an excuse? They don't need an excuse.
It's because we're desperate.
They can smell it on us.
We reek of it like some sweaty salesman knocking on his last door! Because we're going after scraps.
What about United Airlines, General Motors? -Do you think that's easier? -Then what? You have a plan? I'm out there beating the bushes every day for anything.
-You should try it.
-Just out of caution, I met with the bank.
They've agreed to extend our line of credit, but they would like us to post some collateral.
You went to the bank? There's a vote of confidence.
$100,000 each from the senior partners, and $50,000 from Mr.
Campbell and I would buy us six months or so, provided we make a drastic reduction in staff.
$50,000? Absolutely not.
It's an obligation of your contract.
All we need is a bridge to cold and flu season and Vicks will take us to the holidays.
Sugarberry Hams will pick up.
Samsonite It's a hardship for me as well, but it's a necessity.
We should move.
We should never have been here.
You think we look desperate now? Well, if you figure it out, you Know where to find me.
For a little while, anyway.
And then I was floating over town.
Standing straight up, not like Superman.
Only it wasn't Ossining, it was London.
Like Mary Poppins.
Do you want the backwash? I fly in some of my dreams.
It feels like being in the ocean.
I just felt like I was going to heaven, except I don't believe in it.
You don't? Then what happens when you die? Nothing? It doesn't really bother me, except for it's forever.
When I think about forever, I get upset.
Like the Land O' Lakes butter has that Indian girl, sitting, holding a box.
And it has a picture of her on it, holding a box.
With a picture of her on it, holding a box.
Have you ever noticed that? I wish you wouldn't have said that.
Sorry.
I have to go.
Yeah, I should, too.
I'll save my Fritos for you.
-May I speak with you? -Are you busy? No.
Do you want one? No.
Philip Morris set up the meeting, then told Leo Burnett about it to leverage a sweeter deal.
So they used us.
Is that supposed to make me feel better? Everyone at Burnett is already bragging about how we never even got a meeting.
What do you want? I wanna know why I'm being punished for being the only business left around here- We're all being punished.
I don't have that kind of money.
Pete, I'm doing everything I can.
Get me in a room.
-Miss Olson to see you.
-Come in! Everybody's waiting in the conference room.
For what? Well, we were all gonna leave when you left, but you didn't go, so what should we do? -I don't care.
-What happened? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
What are we gonna do? Peggy, it's not your problem.
I know, but I have been thinking about the company, and I was wondering what you thought about You know, why don't we just change our name? If this was a dog food, we'd change the name.
We can't start over.
We just started.
You always say, "if you don't like what they're saying about you, -"change the conversation.
" -To what? What they're saying about us is true.
So there's nothing we can do? Sure there is.
We're gonna sit at our desks and keep typing while the walls fall down around us, because we're creative.
The least important most important thing there is.
You can't slam the door like that.
Why didn't you call me back? The bank called.
Something about a loan application? -They called here? -Yes.
Do you have something you want to tell me? It's not important.
To think you still want to surprise me after five years of marriage.
When can I start looking? I'm so in love with Greenwich.
We're not buying a house, Trudy.
The partners each need to put in a lump sum to keep the payroll we have going, so people don't lose their jobs.
What? How much? Well, it's $50,000, and we have $22,000 in the bank, not counting the baby gifts, which will remain for the baby.
It's all for the baby, for Tammy to have a yard to run around in.
Central Park was good enough for me.
When you bet big and lose, you don't double down.
It's in my contract.
I'll lose my partnership.
You'll lose your stateroom on the Titanic? You are forbidden to give anything more to that company.
You don't get to forbid me.
Lower your voice! And don't even think about asking my father.
âWhy I'm quitting tobacco.
" "Recently, my advertising agency âended a long relationship with Lucky Strike cigarettes.
"And i'm relieved.
âFor over 25 years, we devoted ourselves to peddling a product âfor which good work is irrelevant, âbecause people can't stop themselves from buying it.
âThe product that never improves, âcauses illness and makes people unhappy.
âBut there was money in it.
"A lot of money.
âIn fact, our entire business depended on it.
âWe knew it wasn't good for us, but we couldn't stop.
"And then, when Lucky Strike moved their business elsewhere, âl realized here was my chance to be someone who can sleep at night âbecause I know what i'm selling doesn't kill my customers.
"So as of today, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce "will no longer take tobacco accounts.
We know it's gonna be hard.
âIf you're interested in cigarette work, here's a list of agencies that do it well: "BBDO, Leo Burnett, McCann Erickson, "Cutler Gleason and Chaough and Benton and Bowles.
" "As for us, we welcome all other business, "because we're certain that our best work is still ahead of us.
"Sincerely, Donald F.
Draper, "Creative Director, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.
" -Good morning, Don.
-Stan.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Any calls? Yes, quite a few.
Mostly reporters and citizens, Dr.
Miller.
Anyone else? Someone named Emerson Foote and people from those agencies you mentioned.
They're looking for you.
Can you get Dr.
Miller? Somebody used your name to end our business in the newspaper.
-it's not you, is it? -It's suicide! It's insane! How the hell could you do this? Why would you do this? Because someone had to do something.
You put the company name on it.
You should've consulted us.
Why? To evaluate its strengths and weaknesses? To knock it down to risk versus reward? It's done! And I slept last night for the first time in a month.
You slept? Really? You weren't smiling, thinking about the taste of shit that would be in everybody's mouth over breakfast today? No one asked you to euthanize this company.
What did you expect, for us to pat you on the back? Don't you realize the clients are all going to think you could turn on them at any minute? I'm not going to explain to you what I did.
It's an ad for this agency.
If you don't understand it, then you shouldn't be in this business.
You humiliated us by not putting our names on it! You left us with this hypocrisy! So deny it! I did what I thought was best for the company.
You can either back me or not.
You did what was best for you, because you're impatient and childish.
You had a tantrum on a full page in The New York Times.
So no one is happy about this? I don't know.
It's good enough to be the reason this place went down anymore.
-Excuse me.
-Yes? There's someone calling from Senator Kennedy's office.
Robert Kennedy wants to speak with you.
Please hold for the Senator.
Ls this here Don Draper? -Yes.
-This is Bobby Kennedy.
How are you this lovely morning? I'm well.
Thank you, Senator.
Bobby, please.
Listen, I just wanted to say that I admire your fortitude and vigor and standing up to what I consider to be one of the great menaces to this civilization as we know it.
That's very flattering- I have one question: Does your company represent Secor Laxatives? Yes.
Yes, we do.
Well, are you gonna be writing anything against them? Because I want to make it clear that I am firmly anti-laxative- Who the hell is this? Teddy Chaough.
Thanks for sticking my name in there with the big boys.
A full-page ad in The Times.
What did that run you? A little mix-up there.
That was Eunice Kennedy.
Keep joking.
You're cynical and craven.
Tobacco put a roof over your head and it fed your children.
And then it killed my business.
I never thought you had the stomach for a partnership.
I'm no longer a part of this agency.
You there, get my shoes.
Bert, calm down.
I will not.
We've created a monster.
I've already informed the other partners.
I'll need your contribution by close of business, as it were.
You know this could work.
Do you realize I've just moved my family back here? I'm terribly sorry about that.
Did you get Dr.
Miller? Yes, but you were on with You were on the phone.
She said she'd stop by later.
Okay, that'll be all.
By the way, I loved the letter.
I love that you stand for something.
Megan, that's not really what it's about.
I know that part.
I know it was about "he didn't dump me, I dumped him.
" I just love that you did it.
It feels different around here.
Thank you.
-So who else called? -Everyone who's anyone.
"Smokey the Bear, Smokey Robinson, "Chiquita Banana, Aunt Jemima.
" Is he gonna quit smoking? You're an idiot.
I heard from all my clients this morning, mostly out of morbid curiosity.
But one tning's for sure, tney're not talking about Lucky Strike anymore.
Well, I think that was the whole idea.
They're gonna fire everybody, or worse, make me fire everybody.
Well, it's been a pleasure working with you all.
I wish you the best of luck.
I didn't think they'd start with him.
Peggy, Mr.
Draper wants to see you.
Okay.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.
-Should I close the door? -Yes.
Should I sit down? Who can you live without? Good.
I mean, not good, but, you know Well, Danny, obviously, though he's Kind of grown on me.
Lane sent over a memo with suggestions.
"All of the tobacco people, Mark Coyle, Wuzna" The Polish kid, "Danny and Bill.
" That's a lot of people.
Are we going under? No.
Of course not.
I just wanted to give you notice so when they all come to you, you'll know what's going on.
Okay.
So? You haven't said anything about the letter.
I thought you didn't go in for those kinds of shenanigans.
Sally Draper.
Stop, both of you.
What are you doing here? You stay away from her! You hear me? Let's go.
We're not going back for your bike.
I told you, he's my friend.
We don't do anything.
That boy is bad.
No, he's not.
Believe me.
I know him better than you do.
You don't know him at all.
Go to your room.
You stopped by.
Yes.
I'm glad to see you smiling.
Well, they all want to kill me, but I have a bodyguard.
-Can I get you anything? -No, thank you.
What's this? My things.
We had to resign.
Geoff Atherton wants another cigarette account someday.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't think about that.
I know.
I'm really sorry.
So, you're gonna make it through this day, then you're going to leave this office, meet me for dinner in the open, wherever I want, and we're gonna talk about anything but work, because we can do that now.
It's a fair trade.
La Caravelle, 8:00? Sure.
Have your girl make reservations.
Just wanted to say goodbye.
No.
What happened? Tobacco is very touchy.
Who's gonna do our research? You know, I just lost one of my best jobs- No, I mean, I love working with you.
Would you have a drink with me? -I don't want to linger.
-Not right now.
Just I hate to think I'm not gonna see you.
That's sweet.
No, I mean it.
You do your job so well, and they respect you, and you don't have to play any games.
I didn't know that was possible.
Is that what it looks like? I'm sure we'll work together again, somewhere.
Hello there.
So I'm home early for a family dinner.
They couldn't wait.
We can eat later.
I'll eat with this crowd.
Well, I had quite a day.
That doesn't sound good.
It's this neighborhood.
It's being taken over by low-caliber people.
I think it's time for us to move.
Great.
You know how I feel about it.
I like that place in Rye.
Rye? Isn't that where Playland is? She'll get over it.
Roger, Don, Harry and myself should probably begin the process of letting people go to avoid any further damage to morale.
And please try and limit any sympathetic adjustments to severance.
Yes, and as Lane mentioned, we'll try to hold onto any Staplers, scissors, hole punches and tape dispensers.
They do disappear.
Don, are you ever gonna call back the American Cancer Society? They've tried you twice this morning.
I saw that.
it's a joke.
It's not.
They finally called me.
They want us to come in and meet about an anti-smoking campaign.
Really? Took me about five minutes to stop laughing.
I hope I didn't blow it.
Well, that's interesting, right? Great.
Public service.
Free work.
That's just what we should be doing right now.
It's prestigious.
But we can't eat prestige.
Someone called us.
We could have new work on the air.
There's a lot of bigwigs on the board.
Under normal circumstances, I would consider this an opportunity.
Absolutely.
Yes, Don saved the company.
Now go get rid of half of it.
We should probably stay in here.
I suppose.
Lane, may I speak with you a moment? Well, I've gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them.
I know you said the end of business today, but that money, I don't have it.
Is there any way I can owe it on advance against bonus or future salary? Calm yourself.
Don paid your share.
What? Perhaps you weren't supposed to know that.
Well, thank you for the opportunity.
It was my pleasure.
Bill.