Offspring (2010) s04e12 Episode Script

Are you making something? Yep.
Can I use your garage? Let's organise your baby shower.
What? That actually qualifies as fun right now.
Should I move in? To your place? I reckon it's time.
I think things are pretty great the way that they are.
Oh, come on! This is exhausting! Well, open relationships are hard work.
I do love you.
Regretfully I am seeing someone else.
I'm sorry, Geraldine.
Well, something changed! And it changed with you, not with me, so stop looking at me for answers, 'cause I don't HAVE any! Billie, please just talk to me.
I can't.
Hello.
Sorry to wake you.
It's OK.
I have an urgent demand that can't wait.
It's sex, isn't it? Rush of libido.
Climb aboard.
OK, let's get the phones and get right back to this.
Yep.
Kim.
Martin.
What's happening? What are you doing? Patty-man, have I caught you in the middle of anything? Since you ask Having sex.
Oh, Nina! .
.
we're having sex.
Ooh, excellent.
You asked.
I was eating something.
I had something in my mouth.
So I suppose you're wondering why I've called.
What do you want? I got a save-the-date thingy ages ago.
It's about your baby shower.
Baby shower? Billie's baby shower.
Oh, no.
I just wanna step through my last day of work with something like dignity.
Then, yay! Maternity leave.
Where are YOU going? Oh, Kate's.
I'm watching Bella.
Oh, right.
You know, I I never wanted a baby shower.
It was Billie's initiative.
Now she's disappeared off the face of the earth.
I have to assume it's not even organised.
Leave it with me.
I'll fob everyone off.
How? I'll say it's cancelled.
That sounds simple.
See you at work.
OK.
Bye.
Hello.
Hi.
Darling! Hi.
Sit, sit, sit, sit.
I've made you pancakes as a treat.
Why does she get pancakes?! Because it's her last day at work before maternity leave.
I can't imagine you not working.
Neither can I.
No, but really Nina not at work who will you be? I'm anticipating a complete collapse of identity.
I'm running a book on how long that's gonna take.
Thanks.
Eat! Eat! Ah, that's the way.
Ooh, have another bite.
Mum, what are you doing? Nothing! Everything's great.
Are you enjoying your pancakes? Yes.
Mum, you are being really weird.
Yeah, what's going on? Phillip Noonan.
Yes? He claims to have a new woman.
Really? Who? Mmm, that's what I said.
All he'd say was, "There's someone else.
" I don't believe there's any truth to it.
You'll find out, won't you? No.
Just ask him.
No! I'm only concerned for Phillip.
That's a lie.
Leave her alone, Mum.
Stop trying to drag her down to your level.
And what's all this nonsense about a baby shower? It's cancelled.
What do you want a baby shower for? It's not happening.
It was Billie's thing.
Has anyone spoken to her? This is what she's like.
She has to go off, sort things out for herself.
When she's ready to come back, she will.
Where were YOU last night? Can't say.
Can't you remember? Don't you get involved! I'm not.
In my day we didn't have baby showers.
Are you gonna get that? Can't.
Can you take it? No.
Please? I've learnt not to get between feuding sisters.
Hi, Billie, it's me.
Where are YOU? It's my last day of work.
I just wanted to call you and Please call me back.
Last day.
Yes! Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
What's that? A clock.
Counting down the seconds till you're out of here.
Anyway, he's here.
Who? Your replacement.
Oh.
Of course.
I've put him in his office.
OK.
Which used to be your office.
What? Yeah, gotta clear your stuff out.
Actually, Clegg's already chucking things out.
Chop, chop.
Do you play squash? Yes.
Hmm.
Tenpin bowling? My third favourite thing.
What are the first two? Eating and having sex.
Ever thrown a javelin? Mmm.
No.
Never mind.
You got spiffy hair.
Thank you.
Martin, what are you doing? Nina, meet Dr Elvis Kwan.
I like him very, very, very, very much.
Very much.
Hello.
Welcome to St Francis.
Thank you.
Martin.
Oh, Nina is your outgoing predecessor.
Sorry to see her go, but time marches on.
Martin, please don't.
These are my things.
Do you mind? I'm helping.
Stop! This is MY office, at least until the end of the day and these are MY things and I can pack them away myself.
Thank you for what I'm sure you thought was helping.
No, no, no, no.
Not at all.
Let's take the hint.
Oh, I bet you're looking forward to your baby shower later.
No baby shower.
It's off.
Could I please have my office? It's lovely to meet you.
Uh-huh.
Billie Hello, can I please speak to Nina? This is Nina.
Who is this? This is Billie.
No, it's not.
No, it's not Billie.
Ange, is that you? - What? What? Ange? Who's Ange? - Who's Ange? Hello? Ange, I can tell it's you.
Um one second, please.
I told you this was a dumb idea.
Just read the statement, Ange.
Oh I have a prepared statement from Billie.
Which is I was meant to say that before.
That's what I Where's Billie? "The only way I can make you understand "why I have withdrawn from you "is to talk to you through a third party.
" So it's me.
It's me.
Ange, please Let me talk to Billie.
She wants to talk to you.
No, I can't.
Billie, don't be stupid.
Don't call me and then refuse to speak to me.
"Um being around you always makes me feel like a failure.
"Maybe this is not what you intended, but it's how it is.
" Oh, you always truck out that stupid old excuse.
It's ridiculous! I think she's getting pissed off.
I am! I AM pissed off because Billie's decided to just run away and cringe in a corner like a self-indulgent teenager.
Always thinking about herself as usual.
"If you had made the mistakes that I had made, then I" Oh, no, I'm not listening to any more of this.
You can tell her that when she's ready to speak like an adult, I'll talk to her.
Is this how you really feel? Billie, that's so sad.
We're doing the right thing, aren't we? Hmm? Because I'm curious what you got up to last night.
I'm fighting against the curiosity, but it's an effort.
I've been curious about your adventures too.
But is it sizzling interest or possessiveness? Speaking for myself, I believe it's sizzling interest.
Likewise.
But what if we told each other, and in telling The sizzling interest exploded into boiling-hot jealousy? Exactly.
Are you gonna tell me what you did last night? No, I thought you were about to tell me.
I'm gonna take Alfie for a stroll.
Elvis, this is Eloise.
Come on, Nina, this is your last day.
Rocky start, but there's still time to get back on track.
I've heard great things about you.
You too.
And I'm really looking forward to working here.
Sorry.
Hello.
II'm I'm sorry about before.
That's fine.
As I was saying, I'm really looking forward to working here, getting to know everyone.
You guys look like you're gonna be a great I just I just want to apologise for, um, that bad impression I must have made just now.
Oh, it's nothing.
You were saying you're looking forward to something.
Oh, yeah, just getting to know everyone I am a nice person.
I am.
Vouch for me.
You are.
I just think we got off on the wrong foot.
That's all.
'Cause when we met you were in my office.
It's his office now.
Our office.
His.
OK, HIS office that used to be mine.
I wasn't at my best, because there's just been this big drama with the baby shower and my sister.
So Is there something you want? Just to make you feel welcome and tell you I'm a nice person.
Uh, when people pat me, I don't like it.
Oh, sorry.
I find it patronising.
No, no, no.
I'm saying it's just how I feel.
You can't really say no to that.
Well, I just I just meant Every word you say makes you look more psychotic.
Yes, thank you, Kim.
Well, I will just leave you all to it.
Welcome! Hey.
What excuse did you use this time? I said I was watching Bella.
Ah, yes, that one always goes a long way.
Ooh, how's it going? Ahh! Ahh! It's almost done.
Please tell Nina to reconsider about the baby shower.
I never had one and I always felt like I missed out.
It's cancelled.
Fine.
Bye.
See ya.
Oh, shit.
It's him.
Who? I've got to hide.
Hey.
G'day, Joseph.
Kate? Oh, Joseph, hi.
Kate, I have something to say to you.
You keep pushing me away and I don't accept it.
No, what? What? No, no, no, no, no.
What what are you doing? Not here.
Our relationship is important to me and I'd like to keep it going.
You don't know what's good for you.
Oh, you idiot! What do you keep calling me an idiot for? You wear lycra.
Yeah, for work! Lycra is lycra.
Look, you keep using everything as a reason to say no to me.
And I don't know why, because I've been nothing but good to you.
So you gotta be honest with me.
Is it that you're scared, or you just don't like me enough? I just don't like you enough.
OK.
Harsh.
Uh-uh.
It was getting too full on.
I just want simplicity.
Yeah.
Hey, you're on my side! Hmm.
Nothing to do with it.
Well, stop trying to run my life.
Just standing here.
Ohh! I hate relationships! Hello.
Have you spoken to him yet? Who? Phillip.
No.
Good.
I'm calling to tell you that it's alright.
I've taken care of the problem.
How? I've challenged him to produce this so-called someone else.
Mum! I've invited them both over this afternoon.
Are you sure that's a good idea? If she exists, I want to see her with my own eyes.
And your baby shower provides the perfect context.
What?! No! No, there's no baby shower.
We've we've been through this.
No, no, no, it's back on again.
I just got the call.
It's here today at five o'clock.
Sorry, who called you? Martin Clegg.
Right, I'm just gonna go and Goodbye.
No Martin! Nina.
Ballerina.
We're not doing a baby shower.
Yes, we are.
It's not your decision! Hmm.
See, that's where you're wrong.
As the child's godfather I've decided that we WILL be having the baby shower at the appointed date, which is TODAY! I am organising it.
That is final.
Adios, muchachos.
Godfather? Where did he get that idea? Hi.
Are you aware that Clegg thinks he's our baby's godfather? No.
You didn't say anything that would let him think? No, did you? No, I don't even believe in godparents.
Neither do I.
Clegg as godfather? What would it be? Yippee ki-yay, kids.
Are you imagining him as a fairy? Yep.
Pink wings and tights.
I'm not seeing the tights.
Wish I was.
What do godparents even DO anyway? I don't know.
Nothing.
Buy presents.
It could be harmless.
On the other hand Oh, God.
Nina said she didn't want this.
Well, she'll eat THOSE words when she sees the fun I've got planned for later.
I found some amazing new game ideas in one of the crazier corners of the internet.
Oh, hey, I need the names and addresses of all the people you'd like me to invite.
I've printed novelty invitations.
Martin.
Too late for that shit.
Anyone who's invited already knows it.
Where's the venue? Yeah, about that We'd rather Nina's mother kindly offered her home.
We need plates, we need utensils, we need for Nina not to be stressed.
I AM stressed.
But you won't be when you're playing pin the umbilicus on the foetus later.
Trust me on that.
No stupid games.
Why not? Be practical.
Sparkling wine and something to drink it out of.
Don't things always stop this train? This is gonna be glorious.
Martin Hmm? Neither of us have asked you to be the godfather to our baby.
Officially there was no need.
The thing is Who else would be on the list? There aren't gonna be any godparents.
Really? Oh, well Patrick, are you free to give Mrs Maloney her epidural? Sure.
Need me for anything? No.
Nice work, though, upsetting Clegg.
Classy.
Nice work, though, upsetting Clegg.
Classy.
It's been a very big 24 hours for the two of you, what, with the nomination and the tour.
Yeah, both big surprises too.
The two of you obviously have a very special working relationship.
What are you implying? Rapport.
It IS special, yeah.
Every collaboration has its own unique vibe, but this one feels rare, and that's probably because Mick is a very special artist.
Oh, she's being sweet.
Ah.
How did it come about working together? Oh, kind of by accident actually.
Yeah, it did and then it kind of blossomed into Yeah, just over the last year or so.
Hey.
Hey, wait.
I'll come back later.
What are you doing here? I just wanted some clothes.
Just come and get them.
What what was that about a a tour? Europe.
How long? A few months.
Then maybe the UK.
Congratulations.
Where have you been staying? I asked you where you've been staying! You know, I've gone over this again and again in my head.
What could I have done to have made this not happen? And you know what, there's nothing.
So come and get your clothes.
I'll come back when you're not here.
Hello.
Come to Nina's baby shower.
It's at her mum's place this afternoon.
Why? Just come.
Come on.
Still not too late to redeem the day.
My registrar! Not mine anymore.
An epidural is only one of them.
Who's that? Hello.
That's Nina.
Sorry.
I'm intruding.
Hey.
I'm being silly.
I thought my last day would be special.
I don't even know how.
Graceful, maybe.
You know, things tied up in a nice bow.
Nice words.
Not feeling irrelevant and kicked out.
Hey, Neens come on, we need you.
What is it? You wanted a birth.
Someone's getting born.
That's it.
I need one more big push.
OK, that's it.
Big as you can push.
Push harder.
Oh! Oh, hello.
Hello.
Where have YOU been? I had something to do.
Why are you smiling? You'll find out later.
Will I? See you at your mum's.
Hi, Billie, it's me.
I'm I'm sorry about before.
Anyway, I'm just calling because the baby shower's on at Mum's.
And I I wish you were here.
Here she is! Hello.
What do we do now? Do we sing something? Martin? I don't know.
I've never thrown a baby shower before.
I've never been to one.
I never wanted one.
Why are we doing this? Because I thought I was going to be the godfather.
Well, let's all just have fun and eat things.
Oh, well, you know, I had all sorts of games planned.
Yeah, I pissed on the idea.
I regret it.
Oh, don't worry.
I'm relieved, really.
I just wanna relax.
Hello.
Hi.
Kate said I should turn up.
I hope that's fine.
Yeah, of course.
Come in.
Come on in.
Yes.
You look great.
Hello.
Thank you.
What's going on in here? We're discussing our open relationship.
Thank you for drawing attention to it.
Ohh.
OK, there's only one way to know if we're being possessive or curious.
Tell each other.
I'm game to try.
OK.
I had the best sexual experience of my life.
Really? What's your reaction? I wanna hear about it in extravagant detail so I can better it for you.
Is that jealousy? No.
But there is a certain competitive edge.
Your turn.
I met a girl and we were about to do it, but then I told her about Alfie and about you and then she punched me and it was all off.
It wasn't the best sex of my life.
Did you even have sex? I'm not telling.
Oh, I'm so glad you could come.
Should I have brought a present? No.
She's she's not here.
I sort of thought she might turn up.
Well, I sort of hoped she would.
Yeah, me too.
Yoo-hoo! Why is her face familiar? Shit.
Why is Dr Samir here? Oh, I think that Phillip might Geraldine Proudman, I'd like to introduce you to Nadine Samir.
Hello.
Welcome to my home.
Thank you.
It's lovely.
Yes, thank you.
I'm very glad you were able to come.
And this is our daughter, Nina.
Hi, Nadine.
Have we met before? Yes.
Have you? How how did you two know? Nadine is a fertility specialist.
Hi.
Uh, Nadine, this is Mick Holland.
Yeah, we've, uh, met actually.
Yes.
Yes, my wife and I came and saw you Right.
Let's have a drink.
Alcohol? Yes.
I'll get you a glass.
Come here, dear.
Is her name really Smear? Oh, God.
Samir.
Sam-ir.
Mick, I'm so sorry.
I just I had no idea.
It's probably good that Billie's not here.
Thank you, Mum, for using MY baby shower as an opportunity to perv on Phillip's new girlfriend.
Smear! What kind of a name is Smear? Mother! What? I mean, lovely.
But it's a funny name, isn't it? Especially given that she's a fertility specialist.
Think about it.
Ohh.
Oh, yeah, did you want a drink? Are you backing off? Hi! Whoa-ho-ho! Hello, everybody.
I came here today, dressed like this, on public transport, as my way of saying that I'm sorry, because the truth is I do like you enough.
Now will you admit that lycra is not hot? I look like an idiot! - Hooray! - Lycra! Lycra! Love it! So proud.
Look at this! Here we are.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Excuse me, everybody.
Can I just have your attention just for a second? I just, uh I'd like like to say a few words.
Um I know that I was told not to bring a silly cake, but, uh, I brought one.
Oh-ho-ho! Yeah.
Oh, my God! We can cut that up and Oh, Patrick's on his way.
Maybe we should wait.
Yes.
Alright, very good.
Yes.
Uh, well, while we wait for the the baby's father, I'd like to propose a toast.
Um, to Dr Proudman our treasured colleague - we'll miss you.
Hear, hear.
And to Nina Proudman, our friend.
As you begin this next chapter, know that you go with our our love and our great expectations.
Thank you.
To Nina.
To Nina.
Cheers.
Argh! Oh Oh Mate, are you alright? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't see you.
Sorry.
I didn't see you at all.
That's OK.
Yeah, it's OK.
I'm fine.
I just didn't see you there.
Yeah.
Hey, look, I'm gonna leave.
Yeah Oh, sure.
Thank you for coming.
Mwah.
It's lovely to see you.
If you hear anything Yes, you too.
Nina if your little baby comes out Oh, hang on.
It's Patrick.
Sorry.
Hey! Hey.
I, uh Weird.
I got knocked over.
Sorry? A car.
Oh, my God.
Are you alright? Yeah, I'm I'm just shocked.
I'm sitting on a kerb.
Where? Uh, sorry, I'm I don't know.
I'm dazed.
Um Gore Street.
I'll come and get you.
No, I can walk.
No, I'm coming.
I I won't be long.
I've just got to go and pick Patrick up.
Do you want me to go get him? No, no, it'll just be a minute.
Oh! Hey.
What happened? Uh I wasn't looking.
One minute I was up, the next thing I was down.
Oh Oh, you've grazed yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's OK.
Well, where's the driver now? Oh, he was very apologetic and it's not a big deal.
Then what - he just up and left you? Yeah, well, he didn't deliberately run me down.
Oh I'm sorry.
Did you knock your head? Yeah, I I think so.
Oh Alright.
You're right.
We should make sure I don't have concussion.
Yep.
Alright? OK.
Yep.
Sorry to drag you away from the baby shower.
Oh, that's alright.
I'm relieved actually.
Isn't it going well? Yeah, it is.
It's just nice to have a breather with you.
Did everyone show up? Yeah.
Not Billie.
Everyone else, though.
Oh.
You should see the cake.
Oh, yeah.
Clegg made a speech.
It was really nice.
Oh, Phillip brought his new flame.
Turns out to be Billie and Mick's fertility specialist.
Oh! Kate showed up in lycra.
No.
Yep.
It's back on with Joseph.
Oh.
Hey now you're on maternity leave.
I am now on maternity leave.
Next stop parenthood.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
Yeah, me neither.
Hmm.
So, next few weeks, you get to see all those movies.
Mmm.
We can finally sort out the baby's room.
Yeah, then, there you'll be there there unless Unless what? Un Unl Patrick? Patrick Say something.
Count to 10.
Count to 10.
Open your eyes.
Oh, Patrick Just say something.
Oh, shit, Patrick.
Shit.
Oh! Hang on.
Hang on.
Just wait here.
One minute.
Help.
Help me, help me.
Someone help me.
Some someone help me.
Are you in labour? No, no, it's my partner.
He's just hit his head and he's passed out.
Oh, hurry.
We'll look after him.
Help.
He's pa He passed out.
Uh, I Three minutes ago.
Come on, let's go.
He'll be alright.
Right, we're gonna be taking him Take him to number one.
He hit his head.
He was hit he was hit by a car.
Right.
He hit his head and he he he was confused.
His speech was slurred and then he just lost consciousness.
We've got it.
I tried to keep him awake.
Sorry, you can't come through.
I'm a I Patrick, I'm here.
Just wait, please.
No.
I I know.
Right, we need another IV bag.
Patrick.
Patrick, can you hear me? Patrick.
Sorry to have kept you waiting.
Oh, that's They've just taken him in to theatre.
Oh OK.
Now, was he on any medication that might affect a blood clotting? No, uh No.
No, he's not on any medication.
Does he have any allergies that you might be aware of? No, uh, well, he No.
No allergies.
He he has a history with opioid addiction.
He's an anaesthetist.
OK.
Right, thanks.
Anything else? No, not not that I can think of.
Sorry.
It's gonna be a while.
So I said to her, "Haematoma.
" And she said, "No, it's Jewish.
" Hello.
Mum, it's me.
Sorry.
Sorry, I can't hear you.
Everybody, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush.
Hello! It's me.
Yeah, where are you, Nina? You're missing everything.
Nina! Come on, Nina.
Come on, Nina.
II'm at the hospital.
Patrick's in surgery.
What? His head.
He he passed out.
Uh They wheeled him away.
Um, Patrick's in surgery.
What? Uh, why did he pass out? He got hit by a car.
They're operating on him.
But he's gonna be alright? II don't know.
Well, I'll come and wait with you.
Can I talk to her? No, no, I I don't want a circus of people in the waiting room.
I'm putting Kate on.
How long is he gonna be in there for? Oh, I don't know.
Uh, he's It's a head injury.
Oh, my God.
OK, um, I'm coming in.
I'm coming in.
Yeah, I'll I'll get you there.
What happened? "Hi, you've reached Billie Proudman.
"Leave me a message.
" Has anyone come out? Not yet, darl.
Well, what's going on? They've opened his head up, yes? Yes.
And and? That's all I know.
Well, is the surgeon any good? I'm sure they're doing everything they can.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do they know he's a doctor? They treat you better if they know you're a doctor, don't they? Has the baby shower finished? Yeah.
How was it? It was fine.
What are you doing back? We want to be busy.
Why? I'll tell you.
I'll be in my office.
Yeah.
And, Kim, if Nina or anyone from the Ainsworth calls Yeah.
Thank you.
What's going on? Are you Dr Reid's wife? I'm his partner.
I'm his sister.
Which of you is the obstetrician? I am.
He had a subdural bleed in the meningeal layer between the dura mater and the arachnoid.
Oh, God.
Yeah, it was very messy in there.
We we worked to ease the pressure and to locate the source of the bleed and to suture the blood vessels.
How how is he? Can we go and see him? Um we weren't successful.
What? We did everything we could but he didn't survive the procedure.
I'm so sorry.
Oh Hello? Patrick was an organ donor, so the life support apparatus is still functioning.
Now, we like to consult with family because for some people this can be very distressing.
Ideally, if you consent Did you know about this? I knew I knew he was an organ donor.
He felt very strongly about it.
OK.
Can we see him? Yeah.
Sure.
I can't I can't do it.
I can't just sit here and watch him die.
Bye, Pat.
Bye.
How are you doing? Just one more minute.