The Batman (2004) s04e12 Episode Script
The Joining (1)
[RIVETS PUNCHING.]
[METAL SCRAPPING.]
Hey, Chris, you get a haircut? Yeah.
I figured it's the only thing he'll see from up there.
MAN: Oh, yeah, the big boss is visiting today.
You have a great view from your office, Mr.
Fox.
Call me Lucius.
And I agree.
I never get tired of watching the process.
Everyone working together like that, all those people.
It's like a giant machine.
More like an efficient team.
One Bruce hardly needs to worry about.
It's what makes the other part of his life possible.
You mean the other part of his life in which he appears at museum dedications and fashion shows.
I mean fighting crime.
You mean fighting crimes of fashion? Dick.
He knows I'm the Batman.
[LAUGHING.]
I was a close friend of Bruce's father.
After the tragedy, I was happy to offer what little help I could.
It was more than a little.
Lucius helped construct the Batcave.
And on the rare occasions he lets me I get to lend a hand with some of the Bat gadgets.
I do love tinkering with the Bat's Shadow Tech.
Oh.
Well, then.
Yay.
So we're just throwing around words that start with bat, now.
That's fine.
Lucius, you clearly have the factory running as smoothly as ever.
I don't know why I even bother with these visits.
Maybe you just come by to see an old friend.
Hmm, doesn't sound like me.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[ALARM BELL RINGING.]
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
ROBIN: So, who else knows? Is there a list or something? Is it on the Internet? BruceWayneisBatman.
org? Lucius Fox is the only one you didn't already know about.
And he'll be the last.
I try not to make a habit of having to rely on other people especially to keep my secrets.
[DOOR CLICKS.]
What? Who are you? Wait! [GRUNTING.]
Can't ID them from here.
ID them? I can do that.
Bad guys.
And pretty ordinary ones too.
We can handle this.
Ah, didn't we just get in trouble last week for freelancing? The boss was very clear.
He said to wait while he scoped out the situation.
Okay.
We waited.
Hey--! [GRUNTS.]
Well, I'm already bored.
Any way to make this more interesting? ROBIN: We could take them down while reciting the alphabet backwards-- Ah! Ugh! BATGIRL: Ugh! Gotcha, bird-brains! Ah! [GRUNTS.]
[RUMBLING.]
Guess they weren't so ordinary after all.
Maybe they were those super-strong zombie thugs.
We would have had them if you waited.
I know being a costumed crime-fighter means never having to say, " I'm sorry.
" But, yeah.
We're sorry.
No.
It's my fault.
Maybe I've been relying on you two more than I should.
This never happened when I worked alone.
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
[MAN ON RADIO SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Detective John Jones.
I'm new to the force.
I've heard about you and your mission to protect Gotham.
Admirable.
Did you see what these guys were stealing? The shipment belonged to your company.
My company? Wayne Industries has had an unusually high volume of shipments going in and out of the city this week.
It's no surprise that someone with sticky fingers finally took notice.
Mind if I inspect this property back at my headquarters? Fine by me, but you'll need Bruce Wayne's permission.
I can secure it.
I'll bet you can.
LUCIUS: It's a new project.
WayneTech research really paid off this time.
We've developed whole new metals.
Hybrids, it's pretty exciting, if you're into metallurgy.
That's the reason for the extra shipping.
I thought that project was still at the development stage.
It is.
But the development is requiring some supplies.
Really, there's nothing you need to worry about.
LUCIUS: You should have those crates sent back here unopened.
Send them back unopened.
I see.
Well, thank you.
Keep working.
[WOOD CREAKING.]
Commissioner Gordon vouched for Detective Jones.
And his records from Denver check out.
[METAL CLINGING.]
BOTH: Whoa! But there's nothing before Denver.
Like he didn't exist.
ROBIN: Hey! Ah--! Okay.
It is so my turn.
This is so cool.
I didn't know Wayne Industries made anything like this.
We don't.
And if Detective Jones is right my company has been shipping things like this all over the world.
Clearly, this is part of some alien conspiracy to mass produce these babies.
Ship them all over the world where they await their signal to take over the human race! Whoa! Uh! Ah! Ah! Uh! Ugh! BATMAN: New project, huh? ROBIN: What's it for? We'll keep an eye on Lucius.
But I wanna find out if Jones knows more than he's letting on about whatever's going on at Wayne Industries.
Then let's pay the detective a visit.
I'll pay him a visit.
Alone.
[TRAIN CHUGGING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
-Uh, Batman.
-Don't bother.
I know you're not human.
-I suppose this changes things.
BATMAN: Not really.
[CLICKS.]
You're coming with me.
I have some questions for you, detective.
[GRUNTING.]
Humans.
You act like you've never seen a shape-shifter before.
[GRUNTS.]
Tell that to Clayface.
[GRUNTING AND CLANGING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
He flies too.
Great.
Huh? Let's see if you can keep up.
[GASPS.]
[MAN SCREAMS.]
Ugh! [CRASHES.]
I can dance all night.
DETECTIVE: So can I.
So it would seem.
But why waste time? Who are you? My name is J'onn J'onzz.
I'm a detective.
Just like you, Bruce.
I'm one of the good guys.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Thanks.
So, alien.
All my life.
Telekinesis.
Neat party trick.
How heavy can the object be? I could lift you and your best friend.
That is, if you have one.
[SIZZLING.]
You miss being back home on Mars? I never said I was Martian.
Never had to.
Martians hate fire.
How do you know anything about Martians? I've dedicated my life to studying all fields of knowledge no matter how obscure, including thousands of years of recorded human encounters with extraterrestrials.
The Mayans, ancient Egyptians, crop circles.
I could teach a college course on Martians.
Except I always filed them away under urban legends.
Like alligators in the sewers.
I've fought them too.
Why'd you run? You might have exposed me, turned me over to the authorities.
I can't allow that.
Not now.
Guess we both guard our secrets fiercely.
-Coffee? BRUCE: We're fine, thanks.
So how'd you figure out Batman was Bruce Wayne? Read your mind.
-Hmm.
-Something wrong? No, it's just-- That's cheating.
-Read my mind now.
-What? You heard me.
You're thinking of a dog you owned as a boy.
Location of the Batcave.
I distinctly saw-- A mental image I conjured up to block my real thoughts.
Trick I picked up from some Tibetan monks.
Anyone ever tell you you're a little paranoid? My partners.
All the time.
I'm stunned.
You have partners? I do.
Though sometimes I wonder if things might be easier without them.
You may need all the help you can get with what's coming.
And I've done my homework, Bruce.
It is coming.
Make no mistake.
-What is? -Something big.
Maybe too big for the Batman to handle alone.
Why don't you tell me what you know and let me decide what the Batman can handle? I'm not the only thing from outer space that's come to Gotham.
But right now I'm the only thing that can stop it.
Stop what? Invasion.
Alien lnvasion.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
DETECTIVE: The end of your world.
WAITRESS: Can I get you anything else? [THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Hmm.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
J'ONN: They're called The Joining.
A synthetic alien race that's ravaged over half the galaxy Iike some plague of locusts devouring and incorporating the technologies of every world they encounter.
And they leave nothing in their wake but empty husks of planets.
Synthetic race.
The Joining are robots.
Mm-hm.
Built by a long-forgotten race who became their first victims.
BATMAN: And they feed off technology.
Anything industrial, mechanical, they simply take it and use it.
It becomes a part of them.
It's how they evolve.
That's why they were targeting Wayne Industries.
You're responsible for developing some of the most advanced technologies on this world.
By the way, nice car.
[DOOR BELL RINGS.]
Rang it with my mind.
Batman.
What--? Is something wrong? I need to ask you some questions about those shipments.
-Who's this? -This is Detective Jones.
-He's here to-- -Ha! J'ONN: I knew it was a replicant, because I didn't get a reading off him.
-No emotions.
BATMAN: So you kicked his head off.
Yes.
Perhaps I should've mentioned I was going to do that.
Perhaps? This is part of the standard m.
o.
of The Joining.
-Seems pretty complicated.
-Not for them.
They're a linked system.
A network.
Parts of one big machine, really.
Like one huge robot as big as a city.
You know, Batman, most humans would be pretty thrown by this.
I'm not most humans.
BATMAN: If there's any chance that Lucius is still alive, we have to find him.
Then let's ask someone who knows.
Great danger.
-I can't believe this.
-Really? Because robot heads-- Oh, that's totally what I'm expecting on a Wednesday.
And this guy, just some guy, waltzing into the Batcave.
Didn't have a blindfold on or anything.
Robin, I think we should be focused on the robot head.
Lucius is still alive.
You're certain? If you're trying to nod, you need a neck.
He's alive.
The real Lucius is being held at the Wayne Industries factory.
We are using him for information, but soon he will no longer be helpful.
Ready? Find Lucius, stop alien invasion, save world.
Sounds easy enough.
BATMAN: Lucius.
BOTH: Follow me.
How about first one to Lucius wins? Fine time for him to leave us out of things.
Robots.
This is like the biggest case we've ever faced.
Good robots too.
That thing looks just like a real person.
I know.
Anyone we know could be a robot.
Oh, it wouldn't fool us if we knew the person, would it? Maybe not.
They'd probably be a little robot-y.
Detached, unemotional, mechanical.
-Kick his head off.
-You kick his head off.
Attempt to do any such thing, and I assure you.
There will be no hot-buttered raisin scones for either of you for a year.
Only Alfred sounds that much like Alfred.
Yup.
[CLICKING.]
[MACHINES BEEPING.]
It knows we're here.
[GUNSHOTS.]
[CRASHING.]
[GROANS AND CRASHING.]
[GASPS.]
[GROANING AND GRUNTING.]
[CRASHING.]
Let's call it a tie.
BATMAN: Lucius.
I knew you'd come.
What? He's with me, Lucius.
We're getting you out of here.
No, forget me.
I'm not important.
You don't have much time, they-- [ROBOT ZOOMING.]
We're too late.
Told you I could float you and your best friend.
Faster.
We don't know how much longer these things are just gonna sit here.
It's begun.
[RUMBLING.]
-Where are they going? -Anywhere.
J'ONN: Everywhere that's vulnerable.
Everywhere on Earth.
[METAL SCRAPPING.]
Hey, Chris, you get a haircut? Yeah.
I figured it's the only thing he'll see from up there.
MAN: Oh, yeah, the big boss is visiting today.
You have a great view from your office, Mr.
Fox.
Call me Lucius.
And I agree.
I never get tired of watching the process.
Everyone working together like that, all those people.
It's like a giant machine.
More like an efficient team.
One Bruce hardly needs to worry about.
It's what makes the other part of his life possible.
You mean the other part of his life in which he appears at museum dedications and fashion shows.
I mean fighting crime.
You mean fighting crimes of fashion? Dick.
He knows I'm the Batman.
[LAUGHING.]
I was a close friend of Bruce's father.
After the tragedy, I was happy to offer what little help I could.
It was more than a little.
Lucius helped construct the Batcave.
And on the rare occasions he lets me I get to lend a hand with some of the Bat gadgets.
I do love tinkering with the Bat's Shadow Tech.
Oh.
Well, then.
Yay.
So we're just throwing around words that start with bat, now.
That's fine.
Lucius, you clearly have the factory running as smoothly as ever.
I don't know why I even bother with these visits.
Maybe you just come by to see an old friend.
Hmm, doesn't sound like me.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[ALARM BELL RINGING.]
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
ROBIN: So, who else knows? Is there a list or something? Is it on the Internet? BruceWayneisBatman.
org? Lucius Fox is the only one you didn't already know about.
And he'll be the last.
I try not to make a habit of having to rely on other people especially to keep my secrets.
[DOOR CLICKS.]
What? Who are you? Wait! [GRUNTING.]
Can't ID them from here.
ID them? I can do that.
Bad guys.
And pretty ordinary ones too.
We can handle this.
Ah, didn't we just get in trouble last week for freelancing? The boss was very clear.
He said to wait while he scoped out the situation.
Okay.
We waited.
Hey--! [GRUNTS.]
Well, I'm already bored.
Any way to make this more interesting? ROBIN: We could take them down while reciting the alphabet backwards-- Ah! Ugh! BATGIRL: Ugh! Gotcha, bird-brains! Ah! [GRUNTS.]
[RUMBLING.]
Guess they weren't so ordinary after all.
Maybe they were those super-strong zombie thugs.
We would have had them if you waited.
I know being a costumed crime-fighter means never having to say, " I'm sorry.
" But, yeah.
We're sorry.
No.
It's my fault.
Maybe I've been relying on you two more than I should.
This never happened when I worked alone.
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
[MAN ON RADIO SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Detective John Jones.
I'm new to the force.
I've heard about you and your mission to protect Gotham.
Admirable.
Did you see what these guys were stealing? The shipment belonged to your company.
My company? Wayne Industries has had an unusually high volume of shipments going in and out of the city this week.
It's no surprise that someone with sticky fingers finally took notice.
Mind if I inspect this property back at my headquarters? Fine by me, but you'll need Bruce Wayne's permission.
I can secure it.
I'll bet you can.
LUCIUS: It's a new project.
WayneTech research really paid off this time.
We've developed whole new metals.
Hybrids, it's pretty exciting, if you're into metallurgy.
That's the reason for the extra shipping.
I thought that project was still at the development stage.
It is.
But the development is requiring some supplies.
Really, there's nothing you need to worry about.
LUCIUS: You should have those crates sent back here unopened.
Send them back unopened.
I see.
Well, thank you.
Keep working.
[WOOD CREAKING.]
Commissioner Gordon vouched for Detective Jones.
And his records from Denver check out.
[METAL CLINGING.]
BOTH: Whoa! But there's nothing before Denver.
Like he didn't exist.
ROBIN: Hey! Ah--! Okay.
It is so my turn.
This is so cool.
I didn't know Wayne Industries made anything like this.
We don't.
And if Detective Jones is right my company has been shipping things like this all over the world.
Clearly, this is part of some alien conspiracy to mass produce these babies.
Ship them all over the world where they await their signal to take over the human race! Whoa! Uh! Ah! Ah! Uh! Ugh! BATMAN: New project, huh? ROBIN: What's it for? We'll keep an eye on Lucius.
But I wanna find out if Jones knows more than he's letting on about whatever's going on at Wayne Industries.
Then let's pay the detective a visit.
I'll pay him a visit.
Alone.
[TRAIN CHUGGING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
-Uh, Batman.
-Don't bother.
I know you're not human.
-I suppose this changes things.
BATMAN: Not really.
[CLICKS.]
You're coming with me.
I have some questions for you, detective.
[GRUNTING.]
Humans.
You act like you've never seen a shape-shifter before.
[GRUNTS.]
Tell that to Clayface.
[GRUNTING AND CLANGING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
He flies too.
Great.
Huh? Let's see if you can keep up.
[GASPS.]
[MAN SCREAMS.]
Ugh! [CRASHES.]
I can dance all night.
DETECTIVE: So can I.
So it would seem.
But why waste time? Who are you? My name is J'onn J'onzz.
I'm a detective.
Just like you, Bruce.
I'm one of the good guys.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Thanks.
So, alien.
All my life.
Telekinesis.
Neat party trick.
How heavy can the object be? I could lift you and your best friend.
That is, if you have one.
[SIZZLING.]
You miss being back home on Mars? I never said I was Martian.
Never had to.
Martians hate fire.
How do you know anything about Martians? I've dedicated my life to studying all fields of knowledge no matter how obscure, including thousands of years of recorded human encounters with extraterrestrials.
The Mayans, ancient Egyptians, crop circles.
I could teach a college course on Martians.
Except I always filed them away under urban legends.
Like alligators in the sewers.
I've fought them too.
Why'd you run? You might have exposed me, turned me over to the authorities.
I can't allow that.
Not now.
Guess we both guard our secrets fiercely.
-Coffee? BRUCE: We're fine, thanks.
So how'd you figure out Batman was Bruce Wayne? Read your mind.
-Hmm.
-Something wrong? No, it's just-- That's cheating.
-Read my mind now.
-What? You heard me.
You're thinking of a dog you owned as a boy.
Location of the Batcave.
I distinctly saw-- A mental image I conjured up to block my real thoughts.
Trick I picked up from some Tibetan monks.
Anyone ever tell you you're a little paranoid? My partners.
All the time.
I'm stunned.
You have partners? I do.
Though sometimes I wonder if things might be easier without them.
You may need all the help you can get with what's coming.
And I've done my homework, Bruce.
It is coming.
Make no mistake.
-What is? -Something big.
Maybe too big for the Batman to handle alone.
Why don't you tell me what you know and let me decide what the Batman can handle? I'm not the only thing from outer space that's come to Gotham.
But right now I'm the only thing that can stop it.
Stop what? Invasion.
Alien lnvasion.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
DETECTIVE: The end of your world.
WAITRESS: Can I get you anything else? [THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Hmm.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
J'ONN: They're called The Joining.
A synthetic alien race that's ravaged over half the galaxy Iike some plague of locusts devouring and incorporating the technologies of every world they encounter.
And they leave nothing in their wake but empty husks of planets.
Synthetic race.
The Joining are robots.
Mm-hm.
Built by a long-forgotten race who became their first victims.
BATMAN: And they feed off technology.
Anything industrial, mechanical, they simply take it and use it.
It becomes a part of them.
It's how they evolve.
That's why they were targeting Wayne Industries.
You're responsible for developing some of the most advanced technologies on this world.
By the way, nice car.
[DOOR BELL RINGS.]
Rang it with my mind.
Batman.
What--? Is something wrong? I need to ask you some questions about those shipments.
-Who's this? -This is Detective Jones.
-He's here to-- -Ha! J'ONN: I knew it was a replicant, because I didn't get a reading off him.
-No emotions.
BATMAN: So you kicked his head off.
Yes.
Perhaps I should've mentioned I was going to do that.
Perhaps? This is part of the standard m.
o.
of The Joining.
-Seems pretty complicated.
-Not for them.
They're a linked system.
A network.
Parts of one big machine, really.
Like one huge robot as big as a city.
You know, Batman, most humans would be pretty thrown by this.
I'm not most humans.
BATMAN: If there's any chance that Lucius is still alive, we have to find him.
Then let's ask someone who knows.
Great danger.
-I can't believe this.
-Really? Because robot heads-- Oh, that's totally what I'm expecting on a Wednesday.
And this guy, just some guy, waltzing into the Batcave.
Didn't have a blindfold on or anything.
Robin, I think we should be focused on the robot head.
Lucius is still alive.
You're certain? If you're trying to nod, you need a neck.
He's alive.
The real Lucius is being held at the Wayne Industries factory.
We are using him for information, but soon he will no longer be helpful.
Ready? Find Lucius, stop alien invasion, save world.
Sounds easy enough.
BATMAN: Lucius.
BOTH: Follow me.
How about first one to Lucius wins? Fine time for him to leave us out of things.
Robots.
This is like the biggest case we've ever faced.
Good robots too.
That thing looks just like a real person.
I know.
Anyone we know could be a robot.
Oh, it wouldn't fool us if we knew the person, would it? Maybe not.
They'd probably be a little robot-y.
Detached, unemotional, mechanical.
-Kick his head off.
-You kick his head off.
Attempt to do any such thing, and I assure you.
There will be no hot-buttered raisin scones for either of you for a year.
Only Alfred sounds that much like Alfred.
Yup.
[CLICKING.]
[MACHINES BEEPING.]
It knows we're here.
[GUNSHOTS.]
[CRASHING.]
[GROANS AND CRASHING.]
[GASPS.]
[GROANING AND GRUNTING.]
[CRASHING.]
Let's call it a tie.
BATMAN: Lucius.
I knew you'd come.
What? He's with me, Lucius.
We're getting you out of here.
No, forget me.
I'm not important.
You don't have much time, they-- [ROBOT ZOOMING.]
We're too late.
Told you I could float you and your best friend.
Faster.
We don't know how much longer these things are just gonna sit here.
It's begun.
[RUMBLING.]
-Where are they going? -Anywhere.
J'ONN: Everywhere that's vulnerable.
Everywhere on Earth.