The L Word s04e12 Episode Script

- "How Long" by Toshi Reagon - - "We've Got To Get Ourselves Together" by The Staple Singers - Hi.
A medium triple soy cappuccino with three pumps of vanilla, it's mine.
My money is right here.
Jenny, I'm so glad I found you.
I just have something here that I want you to read.
I can't talk right now.
You what? This is important.
Could you just take a look at this, okay? No, I can't.
I'm gonna go pick my new puppy.
But I'll see you at the meeting this afternoon.
You know what? The meeting has has been cancelled.
Why? Uh Lorenzo, the went on vacation.
- What? - I just found out this morning.
What a fucking asshole! I know.
It's Hollywood.
I hate this fucking Hollywood bullshit.
Good luck with your puppy.
It's a Pomeranian.
- Oh, how cute.
- I know! It's gonna be so mini and cute.
I'll see you later.
Have a really nice day, Tina.
- Okay, you too.
- Bye.
- "Action" by Bomber - Come on, the new machine stickers.
It's great, honey.
What are you guys doing? Nothing.
- Yeah.
- Just setting up.
Yeah, we weren't doing anything.
Can I get some stickers for my board? Yeah, yeah, if you have enough money saved up.
I can't stand this anymore.
What can't you stand? Him, in on us, it's like he purposely goes on on this way to make sure that we don't get a moment alone together.
Paige, he is a kid, he can't help it.
Well, he me.
I love I love being with you in cars and at your work But I would really like to fuck you in a bed.
And I would like to go to sleep with you.
And then I'd like to wake up with you.
Well, then uh we'll talk to him.
We'll talk to him.
Get out of the car.
Alice, get out of the car.
Please! Alice! Would you stop, Alice! Listen to me, listen to me, please, alright? I'm sorry.
I know how I handled it was fucked up.
Yeah.
- I should have told you sooner.
- Yeah.
I really want you to come to my going away party.
Who the fuck is Eva Torres? It's Papi.
- Alice! - What? Oh my god Can you stop following me? So what happens now? What do you mean? Your orders came down.
You You know, it's been whatever the fuck deployed.
I have a bag drag tomorrow.
Excellent.
That's where the unit gathers at the base, and we sort through all of our equipment to make sure we have everything we need for deployment.
And then I have to get my mobility folder in order.
Oh, yeah, you can't have a disorderly mobility folder.
Meaning I need to see a doctor and get a clean bill of health.
Why don't you go see my doctor? She'll say whatever you need her to say.
She'll say you have I don't know, crabs or scurvy or whatever.
Stop.
They'll reject you.
You won't have to go.
I'm not trying to get out of it.
What? I leave on Monday for two weeks of pre-deployment training.
It's Fort Irwin in the Mojave, fucking armpit of the universe, way worse than Iraq.
And if I survive that, then we ship out.
- Alice, wait.
- You just go.
Can't you maybe just try to understand that this isn't some whim for me? I made a commitment.
I get it, Tasha.
I understand, okay? Just go.
Just go honor your fucking commitment.
Look, not that I mind helping, you know, but, I mean, like wow, right? You know, if Catherine can afford all this, the she probably can afford someone to move her stuff for you.
Yes, I suppose she could.
But, I'm here and I'm able-bodied and it's not as if I work for a living.
Did she say that shit to you? Look, Papi, Catherine and I have an arrangment, alright.
It suits me and I'm getting really tired of everybody second-guessing me about it.
Whatever, it's your life.
Look, she left you a message.
"Helena, dear, separate my underwear;" "bikinis, thongs, briefs and fold them before you put it away" Papi, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't met Catherine, alright? I'm not to live modestly.
And she's teaching me a Oh yeah, okay, that's a great In the meantime, she's giving me boat, and lodgings, and luxuries and travels, and all the things I can't live without.
And the sex isn't bad either.
Now, you're talking, girl.
She's been generous, right? She's letting us have the party here.
Yeah, she's generous.
As long as you know what you're getting yourself into.
- Did you email her? - Yes, of course, I emailed her.
I emailed her like ten times.
And I talked to her.
I told her, you know, that I'm really sorry that I didn't show up at her opening.
What? You didn't go to the opening? No wonder why she's not talking to you.
No, come on, I mean, I told you what happened after the diner party.
Really, I mean, and then then, after she gets the commission and she doesn't tell me about it? Come on, I have a department to run.
- Bette - What? Could you be any more self-serving and self-centered? Wh How's that self-serving? Give me that.
What? This.
Give it to me.
"Dear" "Jodi" "When I am scared," "I micromanage" "When I am uncertain," "I overstate" "And when I am challenged," "I, uh, belittle" "and lash out" "And when I love someone," "I try to put her in a box" Shoud I send it? Go ahead.
Go ahead, done, go ahead.
Now you have to follow up with something romantic.
I sent her flowers.
Flowers? That's generic.
Is Jodi generic? Well, I did I did have this one really crazy idea.
There is this building on Selma and Hollywood It looks like I have to go.
Yeah, I have to show Kate her office.
We set up a production office for "Lez Girls".
So, you're back with women, then? We're just working together.
Do you have a problem with that? That you're back with women? No, of course not.
It's just I I just want you to be happy.
I want you to be happy too.
Hey, Kate.
Hey.
And really thank you for your help.
Call me if you if you need some advice.
So honey, uh Shane and I have something that we've been wanting to talk to you about.
Oh boy! I'm sorry.
Did that get you? No, no, no, it's okay.
Are you listening to me? Yeah.
What? Okay, well, you know that Shane is my girlfriend.
You do know that.
Yeah.
So? Well, we wanna make sure that you're okay with that.
Okay with us being girlfriends and spending a lot of time together and really, really caring about Oh, mom! I already told you: I don't want you to be a lez.
I already know that you are but I don't want my mom to be one.
I'll try.
Jared So you're not so happy about this.
You know, man, I don't think you're really doing very fair what you're doing.
Because your mom, she's pretty a wonderful person.
She loves you.
And she'll let you be who you are.
So don't you want her to be who she is? I mean, why would you Do you not want Shay as a brother? What do you mean? I mean, we, we could get a house, and we could be like a family.
And you and Shay could be like brothers.
But Shay doesn't live with you anymore.
I know.
So, here it is.
Feel free to add any personal touches.
I know, it's uh not really elegant.
No, it's actually positively swanky compared to what I'm used to.
Even in "Pandora", the bathroom was my production office.
It's all yours.
Director Did you tell Jenny? Not exactly.
I want us to take the studio meeting first and once they're on board, we can tell them that we need to fire Jenny and her off the contract.
- She's gonna be at the meeting? - No, no, no, I told her it was cancelled.
I told her that Lorenzo was outta town.
- So, is it Bette? - Is what Bette? The person that you have feelings for.
The reason you couldn't come home with me the other night.
We're working together.
It was Bette.
It was.
So why are you helping her get back together with Jodi? I don't know.
Maybe I feel guilty that I want her back less than a year after breaking up.
I fucked up.
It was fucking bloody.
It was bad.
That's what breakups are.
They're fucking bloody.
I don't have the right to complicate her life just because she's met someone else.
And if it doesn't work out between them? I guess I'm waiting to see about that too.
Well, girls like me don't stay on the open market very long.
So if you want some of this, you'd better get in there sooner rather than later.
Phyllis, this is Joyce Wischnia, aka "the Reamer".
Pleasure to meet you, Phyllis.
Nice to meet you, Joyce.
I hate to admit it, but I'm not familiar with reamers? It's a precision tool, Phyllis.
If you're gonna be a lesbian, you're gonna have to get to know your toolkit.
Technically, a tool for enlarging holes.
Which is not necessarily the analogy I would have chosen, but one rarely gets to choose one's own endearing epithet.
I know.
Mine is Oh, Bette, tell her.
Well, Phyllis, I have only heard you referred to as "ma'am".
"Heads will roll" Kroll.
I love it! Anyway, I know that Joyce is the best lawyer in town to help you with what you're about to go through.
I mean, she got me and Tina through a hideous custody battle.
How is Tina by the way? She's back in the fold, actually.
"Back in the fold".
Do you have to be so archaic? Of course she has.
Please tell me the two of you are getting back together.
No, she's met someone else.
So has Bette.
Oh really? Good for you.
But she's blowing it.
She's let her go.
Worse, she drove her away.
You were so together.
You are perfect for one another.
Jodi's a brilliant artist, formidable.
Now, what are you going to do to get her back, Bette? I sent her flowers.
Flowers?! Oh, come on.
You're an idiot! What is so wrong with flowers? You've gotta be a little more original than that if she's as special as Phyllis says.
I'm gonna go and commit hara-kiri right now.
You have a great springbreak, Phyllis.
You too, Bette.
Thank you.
- Nice to see you, Joyce.
- Nice to see you too.
Have a seat.
Okay, Phyllis.
Let's have it.
What's your story.
Well, Joyce, I first suspected I might be a lesbian when I was a sophomore at Wellesley.
I fell madly in love with Jenny Howard.
- We both loved - No, no, I mean your present-day story.
I understand you and your husband are getting a divorce.
Yes.
I actually saw your movie before it went to Sundance.
I tried to convince these assholes to pick it up, but uh Her classics divisions Yes, it was all bad.
Well, now you have our next movie which is pretty good Hello.
I'm so sorry I am late but I gotta pick up Sounder from the groomer because I wanted him to be a lovely and pretty for the studio meeting.
Hum There was no parking pass for me in the guardgate, for some reason.
Lorenzo, Didi, Chimp, this is Jenny Schecter.
She's the author of the book.
- Lorenzo? - Yes.
Hi.
Let me give you a very big hug.
Welcome back.
It's so nice to finally meet you.
I actually didn't know that you would be at the meeting.
Well, Jenny, we thought that What? That I was, uh, completely clueless? Someone to fuck with? No, of course not.
Someone who didn't realize what a lying, duplicitous, scheming excuse you are for a friend? Be careful if you're doing business with this woman, because she actually eats her own.
Jenny, actually, Tina's been a really good friend to you.
As a matter of fact, she's protected you.
She just wants to fuck you.
She does.
She just wants to get in your pants.
Shut the fuck up, Jenny, okay? You're a cunt.
- Bette almost lost - Don't touch my dog.
her job because of you.
Did you know that? That endangers my child.
That is food in Angelica's mouth.
That is a roof over her head.
And that, to me, is unforgivable.
Oh, God, Tina.
Can you just cut all your bullshit? Just because you've had a baby doesn't make you more exalted than the rest of us.
I am so fucking tired of all these tedious lesbians having babies and the self-aggrandizing bullshit.
I'm sorry.
He's not potty-trained.
Is he? Sorry.
I love you sweetie.
Good night.
Nice day.
I love you, I love you Hello? Hi, it's Tom Mater, interpreting for Jodi Lerner.
She, she's calling me back? - Hello? - Yeah, I'm in upstate New York.
Cellphones don't work here.
We're seating in a tent.
We just the Large tonight.
Where is the Large? Hithen town.
What can I do for you? - Come on, give her a break! - I just wanted to say that - Mind your own business.
- Jodi, I just, I got I got scared and And you put me in a box.
I know.
Oh, so you got my email.
Yes, I did.
And I really appreciate your honesty.
So how's everything going? Hello? It's cold and intense.
Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sure - if you guys are living in a tent.
- She loves you.
I'm sure the work is going well, I just Was there anything in particular you wanted to speak to me about? - Hello? - Yeah.
Well I just wanted to say that I miss you and I'm sure Angie misses you, too.
She just signed "I love you" to me tonight.
That's sweet.
- "Portrait of an Artist As a Young Woman" by Lizzie West & the White Buffalo - So I, I've secured the dolly Oh good.
Thank you.
I'm gonna give you my power-drill set and extra rope.
I'm just sorry I can't go with you.
Oh yes, no problem.
Thank you.
So is Grace going with you to San Fransisco? - Yeah, she is.
- Good morning.
How long will you be there? How long is the recovery? I don't know.
I don't know if I'm gonna do it.
- You're not going through it? - Really? - Good morning.
It's early.
- Hey, Alice.
Good morning.
Hey, good luck in San Fransisco.
- Thanks.
- Oh, he doesn't know if he's gonna go through this.
You're not gonna get the - Really? - I might.
I just - It's an irreversible decision, you know? - Right.
Anyway, you guys should take off.
- You're driving? - Yeah.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Good luck.
I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna be able to go to Tasha's going away party.
That's alright.
I'll go with Alice.
I'm not going.
What are you talking about? I'm not going to a party to celebrate that the person I care for is about to leave for the most dangerous place on Earth.
You know, to fight in a morally bankrupt war and may be coming home in a body bag.
It would be insane.
You're wrong, Alice.
Well, she's not totally wrong.
Why? It is a morally bankrupt war.
Let's go.
Are you sure? You know, maybe she just would want like a sportscar or I don't know.
Like a in diamond would be a lovely gift.
Well she said she wanted to use it in a sculpture.
She said it was the most beautiful sign she'd ever seen.
Look, the whole building is scheduled to be next week anyway.
I tried to talk to the owner of the building, but, he's out of the country fraud charges or something.
Hey, Shane, I want you to Then I tried to talk to the building manager who's this useless freak in a who'd rather say no, and take a 5000 dollars And James the neighbour to get in touch with the security guard that means here we are.
Well I hope we don't get in touch with him this morning.
That'd suck.
No, well, I had a tip on the shifts.
Okay, so.
We have the dolly.
We have the rope.
We have the toolkit.
We have the wire cutters.
We have steaks.
Steaks? For lunch? That'd be nice.
Have you done that before, Bette? No, Alice, I haven't.
We're going over.
Alright.
Shane, you go first.
- Me? - Yeah.
What do I do? You're starting up.
I'm gonna take the dolly above the fence.
You need a hand? Oh yeah, yeah.
Thanks.
You know, Kate, I think it's just a replacement for you, Bette.
I think Tina really wants to get back together with you.
- No, she doesn't.
- How the hell do you know? 'Cause she's trying to help me get Jodi back.
Why would she try to help me to get Jodi back if she wanted be with me - Right.
- Okay, I'm gonna tend up the dolly.
Hey, what are the steacks for anyway? Come on you guys, let's go! - "C'mon DJ" by Mr.
Airplane Man - This way! Oh shit, you guys! Alright.
Hey, did you guys hear, ever hear about Valley Village? Valley Village? Yeah, the place where you can get a three-bedroom house and a dishwasher and as you neighbour? Yeah.
Aside from that remark, you know, the kids can ride their bikes to school and - Shit! - No? Fuck! Let's go, fatty.
Come on.
I got it.
Why is she talking about kids and bikes and family rooms? I don't think that's Shane.
I think that's a pod person in Shane's body pretending to be Shane.
Okay.
Come on.
- Where is it? - There it is, up there.
That's not it.
Is that it? Yeah, yeah, it is.
- You're kidding - Oh my god! Are you high? This is unrealistic.
This is fucking insane.
I know.
But it's romantic.
It is.
Wait a minute! What? - Oh my god - Okay.
Say, "This is fucking crazy"! - "Commit a Crime" by Mr.
Airplane Man - Yeah, but we made all these low sandwiches, you know, things that'll keep and we made the Planet cookies! Oh, I love the Planet cookies.
I'm so glad because I made of them, suckers, and you'd better eat them, and I made a cake which I would bring back when I come back tonight.
Is it your red, white and blue? No.
Are you guys back together? Papi, I'm really working on getting myself back together first before I can go back with anyone.
I wish you both happiness.
I'm afraid we have a little conflict.
What kinda conflict? We've been invited to a poker game this evening, - a very big - Catherine, this is my friend's going away party.
- I have to be here.
- You don't have to be here.
I'm sure your friends will understand that I need you.
Come on, come on, come on.
I got it, I got it.
I think I hear someone.
- Hurry up! - Oh shit, that's the security guard.
Wait, you said he was coming this afternoon.
- We're coming down.
- Hurry up! Okay, come on, come on, let's go Oh god! I'm stuck! Go without me! Leave me behind! It's okay.
Save yourselves! We can't do this.
We're crazy.
Oh god You guys are the best.
Really.
You're just the best.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Yeah, yeah.
- "6 in the Morning" by Client - Sounder, come here.
Sounder, come here.
Hey, Kate.
- Hi.
- Jenny I wanted to apologize for my behavior today.
I was a little upset, I think that the reason why all that happened is just Tina might be threatened or something.
You know, actually, I'll tell you something.
This isn't a really good time, okay? But maybe, you and I can get together after.
Sure, okay.
I was, I mean, I just wanted to tell you that I think that, if you and I could try to work together, I think that we could do something meaningful and powerful.
I hear the book is riveting, Jenny.
- Can't wait to read it.
- Merkin? How many lives destroyed in this one? Have you crushed any souls lately? Or it was Lindsey the end.
What is she doing here? I'm writing a story on Kate for Velvet Part Magazine.
Are you guys Where is where is Lindsey? What have you What happened to Lindsey? Okay.
Who's Lindsey? Just what I was about to talk to you about.
Lindsey was my girlfriend.
She was a veterinarian.
A sweet, selfless person.
Then Jenny came and destroyed her.
She wrote a terrible review of my book.
Are you gonna kill that dog too? I didn't kill a dog.
You killed a dog? No, I didn't.
The dog was old, and the dog, the dog was sick.
Lindsey was so, so incredibly upset when she found out that the dog she put down was actually not Jenny's dog at all.
You're more twisted than Tina said you were.
You're more twisted than the characters in the book.
I made a mistake, Kate.
It was a very bad mistake.
Do you, like, prey on people whose lives are are already falling apart, or do you actually take a more aggressive role in creating their grief and destruction? That's such a good question.
I mean, in Jenny's world, does art imitate life? Does life imitate art? And, when I think of that "Poor girl.
That's" "base for the character Karina".
I don't know what you're talking about.
Marina was a viper.
Actually I heard she was a really nice girl until she met you and then her life, well, fell apart.
It's not true.
You shouldn't listen to what Merkin says.
You know, Stacey didn't tell me.
What? - Who told you that? - It was Elise.
No, it was Shun.
Shun told me.
Oh no, Nina.
Was it Nina? You know, I can't wait to tell you what I'm going to do with the character of Jessie in my adaptation of "Lez Girls".
No, I don't want the track.
Okay, no.
You're right.
I'll get the track number.
Okay.
What is it? Hi.
I'm Phyllis Kroll.
Hi, I'm Tina Kennard.
Is Bette here? - Uh, yeah.
- Hi.
I'm sorry, I just, I'm running to the airport right now.
I'm so sorry.
I'll just take a moment of your time.
You will not believe this.
Joyce Wischnia refuses to represent me saying it's a conflict of interest.
Well, I'm really sorry, Phyllis.
I can't imagine what conflict of interest it would be, but right now I'm It would have been a conflict because the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew I wanted to jump her lovely bones.
Hi, Tina.
Hi, Joyce.
Oh, what astoningly beautiful, brilliant and sexy boss you have, Bette.
What do you say, darling? You wanna hit the road? Yeah, let's going out to the Wallas Mansion, yeah.
Oh, we're going to the Wallas Mansion! Oh, we just love the Oh, Bette, did you call a taxi? Oh, yeah, can you ask him to wait one second? - That was surreal.
- That was surreal.
Absolutely.
Oh my god.
I'm gonna call to talk to Angie.
Thank you so much for helping me.
I really, really appreciate it.
And remember, I totally defer to you, if she asks you whether you're planning on hanging out while she's working.
I totally defer to you.
If she wants you to join her for diner? I yield to your wishes.
And when she equivocates about whether it's a good idea for you to sleep together in the morning? I bow - to your superior judgment.
- Good luck.
Good luck to you too.
For what? With Kate.
- I call you.
- Okay.
- You lock up? - Yeah, I got it, I got it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Bye.
- Bye.
You let me through? How amazing is this? - What? - Being alone, in the house.
No roomates, - no kid.
- Have you talked to Jared? Yes, he's fine.
It's his second sleepover with Greg.
What's that? Oh it's a house I was gonna take.
perfect backyard.
Maybe you and Jared should take it.
Well, you know we can't afford that.
Maybe we should talk about, um, maybe taking it together.
What? What? What did I say? Nothing.
No.
You just have a little toothpaste right here.
No, the other side.
Yeah.
- Is it off? - No, not really.
It's still kinda there.
You don't want me to sit here with it? - No.
- You can't take it off? Is it off? No, I don't think it's off yet.
- "Before We Begin" by Broadcast - Alright.
I'll wait you outside.
Fuck you, Tasha.
Well, fuck you too.
What are you doing here? I didn't ask you to come here.
What? What are you talking about? You need me.
Oh, please Who else is gonna tell you to get your ass off the sofa and go over to your friend's fucking going away party, Alice.
I can't do that, okay? 'Cause you're falling in love with her? She's got inside here.
Because you're afraid you're never gonna see her again? Do you know something? Do you have information? Look, What I know, Alice, is that you never know how long anything's gonna last.
The only thing any of us knows in this life is that anything can happen.
You never know what's gonna happen next.
Well, that's too hard for me.
So what are you saying? That you wish you never met me? That because I had to leave and that was really hard for you, that you'd rather I just never existed in the first place? That'd be easier? Look, Alice, I don't think it's any less painful to lose someone to a tragic misunderstanding than it is to lose someone to a goddam heart attack.
That's not true, because I can get over a misunderstanding.
Not always.
Anyway, don't argue with my superior wisdom, okay? Go get dressed! Go on! I wanna see you in that fucking party dress.
Oh god! You really curse a lot more now.
Yeah, well, you'd curse a lot too.
- "How Long" by Toshi Reagon - - Well, thanks for having us.
- Thank you.
Wow! Look at this view! Hey, there.
What are you doing? - They fired me from the movie.
- Shut up.
Yeah, they did.
I think I've been judged a lot.
And, I don't know, people here just think that I'm, like, this pariah.
You're not a pariah.
- You know that.
I love you too.
- Thank you.
You're not a pariah.
Fuck off.
- Come have a drink with me.
- No, I'm just gonna stay here.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- I'm gonna come and check on you later.
- See you later.
- Hey! - Hey, what's up? It's Tasha's party.
Where is Tasha? She's walking on the beach with Papi, somewhere.
And Kit run into somebody she knew.
You know, if you die out there, I'll fucking kill you.
Right? Hey, Toshi, there is Tasha.
That's our girl who's going to Iraq tomorrow.
Are you having fun? Yes, as a matter of fact What about those two? I don't know if they're having fun.
Do you think they'll last? Do you wanna wager on it? You wanna make a bet on to whether or not Shane and Paige are gonna stay together? Come on, it will be fun.
I'm betting they'll make it.
Well, you don't know Shane's history like I do.
Then, it'll be a good bet for you, won't it? I'll tell you what.
If they're not still together I'll write you a check of 1 million dollars.
And if they're still together? If I win, you get to be my servant and sex slave for the next year.
And have a great poker game.
Go fuck yourself.
Okay, I'll uh Oh, it's uh, it's Bette.
I'm sorry.
Is this too late to call? No, no, it's not too late.
Are you still at Tasha's party? Yeah, I'm still here.
I'm on the beach, with Kate.
Well, I just, I just, I just need one more little thing.
Just tell me what to say when I give her the sign.
I never should have let you go.
I would do anything for another chance.
I'm not afraid to make a fool out of myself.
Sleep well.
Thank you, T.
Alright, come on kiddo.
Since no one wants to ride with me, I don't Let's go, do you wanna go? Come on.
You and I will be friends, alright? Thanks for sticking around me.
It's just you and the pariah, Sounder.
- Hey! - What are you guys doing? We're just hanging out, having a good time.
Just one big happy family.
Sounder? What are you doing? What are you doing, huh? Are you getting bored of the party? Where is your mother? Hey, where's Jenny? - "Dear Mr.
President" by Pink - I want this one to hang parallel.
A little bit more Good, good Perfect.
I'm gonna hang something there.
Like what? She says she doesn't know what she's gonna hang.
She hasn't found it yet, but, something.
You'd better not break my heart.
titelilie - ruvyn7