Ugly Betty s04e12 Episode Script
Blackout!
What do you two think you are? A pair of queens? Well, I'm king around here, so don't forget it! Ahhh! Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry.
Are you guys okay? - That was so great! - Thanks.
Justin, your Stanley is perfect! Betty, I'm not sure, you may have put the "blah" in Blanche.
Well, you didn't exactly put the "stellar" in Stella.
Ooh, mean! You are so getting into Lena Korvavinky's class! I can feel it.
It's Lena Korvinka! How do you not know that? She is only the most famous living actress of our time! I think it is so cool that you get to audition for her.
- Her classes are legendary.
- I know.
She's probably seen it all.
I wonder if A Streetcar Named Desire is a little too obvious.
I may need to rethink this.
I'm so nervous for him.
I hope he gets this.
I know.
High school hasn't exactly been a picnic for him.
That's why Bobby and I are gonna wait until this whole thing is over until we tell him about the baby.
Wait, you guys are gonna tell him together? - That sounds promising.
- I know! Okay, I'm ready to go.
Wait.
Wait, you guys are leaving already? I thought that maybe you could stay, hang out, and we could have dinner or something.
I'm sorry, I made dinner plans with Bobby.
Yeah, and I have to decide on my comedic monologue.
It's between Molière and one of Brad's breakdowns from The Rachel Zoe Project.
Well, that's too bad 'cause I made too much pasta and I was hoping you guys would help me eat the leftovers.
Sorry, AB.
All right, well, I guess I'm just used to making enough for me and Matt.
Oh.
You want me to cancel? I'll call Bobby.
No! No, come on.
Don't be silly.
Go! It's not like I have nothing to do.
It's going to be another cold one, so bundle up and watch out for the ice.
In other news, a woman in Midtown was found dead in her apartment yesterday after almost a month.
Sources say that, though the woman lived in the building for 12 years, none of her more than 50 neighbors really knew her or noticed her absence.
I saw her through the window once, eating her pasta alone.
Looked like she made too much.
How sad.
I guess the old saying is true, you really can be alone in a crowd.
Hey! Guys, I was just thinking.
Wouldn't it be fun if the three of us walked to work together some day? I mean, seeing as we do live across the hall from each other and everything.
We live across the hall from each other? Yeah, when I say, "Don't go in the hall, it's there," that's what I mean.
Okay, so we're doing the mean thing.
I just think that it's weird that I don't know anyone else in the building.
I mean, do either one of you ever talk to anybody else? Not directly.
But we do leave nasty notes on the bulletin board downstairs for some of them.
Synonymously, of course.
See, here's the problem with living in an apartment complex.
People come home, they close their doors, they shut out the rest of the world, and no one takes any time to even get to know their neighbors.
You should really do something about that, Betty.
You know what? I'm going to.
She's a real go-getter, isn't she? If only she'd apply some of that pluck to her chin hair.
See you later.
- Good one.
- Thank you.
Oh, and could you also make up some more media kits when you get a chance? I'm gonna need Marc for the rest of the day to help organize the wild vest shoot.
- Marc! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a second.
I can't spare Marc today.
Daniel, I am working as both editor-in-chief and creative director.
Until we hire a senior fashion editor, I have to have Marc available to me.
Marc! Marc, stay! Look, I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed, but I need him, too.
To what? Schedule your naps? You know what? I've had just about enough out of you.
I've been more than kind in sharing Marc with you over the past few weeks, but that's it.
He is off-limits to you.
What? You can't cut me off from my own assistant.
He's not your assistant anymore.
He's mine.
Let me get one thing through that giant egghead of yours.
I will get Marc back.
This is not over.
Hi! I'm Betty.
I just moved back into the building - and I was wondering if maybe you - Not interested.
Okay.
Hi, want to come to a karaoke party in 5G? "Jackass.
" That's not very nice.
Hey! Hey, could you let us in? - Thank you so much! - Thank you.
Thanks.
- We were about to freeze out here.
- Yeah, looks like you were turning blue.
Yeah.
- Do you guys live in the building? - We're moving in today.
Yeah, in all the craziness, we managed to lock ourselves out.
Oh, that's awful! I'm Betty, by the way.
- I'm Gus and that's Vickie.
- Hi! - Hey.
- You know what? I just so happen to be throwing a neighborly karaoke party in my apartment tomorrow night.
Come! You don't have to sing if you don't want to.
- I mean, I will, but - My God, how nice! Thank you! - Yeah! Great.
See you tomorrow.
- All right, bye.
- Okay.
Bye.
Thank you.
- Okay, bye.
Yay! I want to kill myself! Wilhelmina and Daniel will not stop fighting over me.
This ménage à moi has got to stop.
I hate being in the middle.
I mean, unless there's a Gyllenhaal involved.
This totally reminds me of when I was 12 and my parents separated.
I got so good at manipulating them.
They even bought me a chimp.
I named him Rainbow.
Oh, that's so cute.
But then I got bored of him and left him in a cab.
Not as cute.
I just can't take much more of this bickering.
Oh, you poor little gayby.
You know, as the child of an almost broken home, I totally know how you feel.
I just got an amaze-balls idea.
Why don't you let me work some of my manipulative magic on Mommy and Daddy Mode? Uh Actually, you know what? Go ahead.
But I can't hear about anything or be involved in any way.
Besides, I already have my own plan in motion for how to get myself out of this mess.
- What is it? - It's top secret.
Don't screw up whatever you're gonna do, okay? Ten-four.
This has been re-confirmed.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Excuse me.
What happened? Our building got broken into.
A whole bunch of the apartments were robbed.
Look, they even stole our planter.
- Oh, no! - Oh, yeah.
But a neighbor saw what was happening, so he called the police.
And now they're scanning through security footage to see if they can find a positive ID.
- Good.
- That's them! They're the ones I saw running off with our planter.
Hey, who's the dink letting them in? Wait a minute.
You're the dink! I mean, how was I supposed to know that they were burglars? Well, it's always the fresh-faced ones that get you.
All I can say is it's a good thing they didn't get as high as our floor.
They did.
Amanda didn't tell you? They stole her silver bag.
You mean the silver bag with the huge gold skull - that's either hideous or brilliant? - Yeah.
I told her I would buy her a new one, but He runs so funny.
I feel awful.
I just wish there was a way I could make it up to the building.
All of my neighbors hate me now.
Someone actually wrote the word "die" in huge letters across the party invitation I posted.
Ouch.
You do the redlining on these since you have the assistant.
Wow.
It's been a real joy to have her back in the office.
- Is there anything I can do to help? - Yeah.
You can get me one of those electric dog fences for the doorway.
Something that'll shock Wilhelmina every time she comes in.
Daniel, I don't think that would even work on her.
But it might work in my building.
After careful thought, I've decided to use a classic Parent Trap technique with Daniel and Wilhelmina.
Great, fine, whatever.
Listen, remember yesterday when you borrowed my laptop and before you left you put it into your silver bag? - The one you said was hideous? - Or brilliant.
You took my laptop out of the bag before it got stolen, right? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please tell me that you did.
- Okay, I did.
- Thank God.
Where is it? What? My laptop! Is this a trick question? Oh, my God.
Oh, God! This is a disaster.
My entire life is on that computer! Marc, I know you're upset, but it's not like "Hot Guys of the Israeli Army" can't be downloaded again.
I'm not talking about Oy, the Boys! There is stuff on that computer that is the key to my future and now it is gone.
Forever.
I'm going to be sick.
Okay, Marc, don't worry.
I got you covered! This Wilhelmina and Daniel thing is in the bag.
I'm sorry.
I Justin! I want to be supportive but the pacing has to stop.
Okay.
I'll just go upstairs.
Hey, I got us some scary movies.
Lady at the rental place said they were campy fun.
I can't, Grandpa.
No one likes campy fun as much as I do, but I'm a little wound up right now.
Maybe I'll feel better after my run-through at the audition space tonight.
- Need a ride? I could take you.
- Bobby and I already got it covered.
Fine.
Okay, this has to stop.
What are you talking about? You.
This.
The way you act every time Bobby's name comes up.
Come on, I thought maybe you could come with me to the doctor's appointment on Thursday.
See your new grandkid.
Is he gonna be there? If by "he" you mean Bobby, yeah, the father of my child is gonna be there.
He wants to be there every step of the way.
You're deceiving yourself, mi hija.
Can't you see that this Bobby character's not reliable? You're wrong.
Bobby and I are gonna be a family, so you'd better get used to it.
Thank you, everyone, for coming.
Not as big a turnout as I hoped.
But one, two, three, four of us.
That's not bad, right? Don't count me.
I'm just getting my mail.
Okay.
So, after yesterday's unfortunate incident, which I feel partially responsible for Partially? It was your fault.
Okay, I mean, I didn't rob the building myself.
I made an innocent mistake.
Anyway, I spoke to our landlord, Mr.
Z, and arranged for him to install an electronic locking device on our doors.
Ta-da! See? Now, none of us will ever have to worry about "lost keys" again because we'll have the option of using a passcode, which I will now choose based on your thoughtful suggestions.
The new building passcode is "fart!" Okay.
I guess I'll just pick another one.
Why? What's wrong with "fart?" First you get us robbed and now you won't even take our suggestions? Fine.
The building has spoken.
I will have Mr.
Z notify everyone that the new building passcode is "fart.
" Okay, now for the cutting of the Marc! You just ruined my ribbon! Yeah? Well, you ruined my life! So I guess we're even.
What are you talking about? My laptop was in Amanda's silver bag! I'm sorry.
I can call HR.
Maybe insurance will cover it.
Really? Will they also cover my lost submission material for the new senior fashion editor's job? Huh? Will they? Wow.
You were applying for that? That's ambitious.
Yeah, Betty.
News flash, you're not the only one with hopes and dreams.
So, Marc went home sick, huh? - He has looked pretty tired lately.
- Totally.
So, it looks like all you have left is your 6:15 in the lounge.
Oh, great.
Oops! Strike that.
Forget I ever said anything or she'll kill me.
What? Who will kill you? Wilhelmina.
I wasn't supposed to tell you about that meeting.
She said something about wanting to take it alone.
- She did, did she? - Yeah.
Well, I guess she's in for a very big surprise.
Marc went home sick? He'd never have the nerve to do that on my watch.
Why are you still here? Oh.
Marc left your schedule with me.
I thought you might want to go over it.
- No.
- No? - Because you do have an appointment.
- Go.
But don't you want me to tell you about the 6:15 meeting that Dad I mean, Daniel is running.
- Did you just refer to Daniel as "Dad?" - No, Mom! I mean, Wilhemommy! I mean, Daniel set up a meeting that he doesn't want you to know about in the lounge! Look, I don't know what kind of kinky relationship you and Daniel have, but "Daddy" is not keeping me from any meeting.
I am so getting another chimp out of this.
Come on, Marc! I'm not gonna leave till you open the door! Talk fast.
I'm in the middle of anger-eating a seven-cheese lasagna.
I just want to apologize.
I think it's great that you're applying for the senior editor position.
So you don't think it's out of my league? I think it's a big step up, but you're perfect for it.
Of course I am.
But it doesn't matter.
Wilhelmina's gonna make her decision by tomorrow, so all of the submission materials have to be on her desk by tonight.
And there is no way that I can recreate everything that I did by myself by midnight.
Well, what if I helped you? - Ugh, forget it, Betty.
- No, let me do this.
Please? I would feel so awful if you missed this opportunity because of me.
What do you have to lose? Ugh.
Well - Can I have a piece of lasagna? - No! I should have known you'd try and pull a stunt like this.
Well, I'm not the one booking secret meetings and trying to get away with it, am I? - Yes, you are.
That's why I'm here.
- What the hell are you talking about? Wait.
If neither of us booked this meeting, who is this? I'm your couples counselor.
And by the looks of it, I have my work cut out for me.
Couples counselor? Is this some kind of joke? - Who would do this? - As if you didn't know, Daddy-o.
This is ridiculous, I'm leaving.
Well, I've clearly identified the beta dog in this relationship.
I hope for your sake you didn't just use the words "dog" or "beta" in relation to me.
Sorry.
I was merely referencing a common behavioral pattern.
The first person to leave a room tends to be the weaker one.
Oh.
Is that so? Yes! I found my fancy paper! "Matt-less in Manhattan?" You're not seriously thinking of using that as a title for something, are you? It's for my blog.
I forgot it was up on the screen.
How do you want to do this? You want to dictate while I type? I don't know.
I had all these mock-ups and customized layouts and It took me weeks to make all the decisions.
- This is never gonna be as good.
- Yes, it will be, Marc.
You're great.
I have to be more than great! This is a senior position! I have to wow them.
Okay, well, then we'll wow them.
We've got all night and neither of us have anything else to do.
- Hi.
We're here for your party.
- Hi! I assumed no one was coming after the whole burglary thing.
What? So you don't want us here? No, I Yes, I do.
I did.
It's just, this last-minute project thing sort of came up and I'm a little What's going on? She's canceling on us! What, now? After everything she's put us through? - She owes us! - Yeah.
See, this is why you should never get to know your neighbors.
And even though I spent years working my way to the top while Daniel here had the same job handed to him on a silver platter by his father, I've always treated him with respect.
That is such bull.
You've always been a bitch to me, only now she's being a super bitch.
It's You see what I have to deal with? It's the name-calling that hurts the most.
Okay, time out! She is totally faking right now.
This is not her.
And PS, she calls me names all the time.
This morning, she called me an egghead.
I was merely making an observation.
Can I help it if your head has a weird elliptical arc to it? Do you see this? She's insulting me.
All because I wouldn't let her get her way with Marc.
As if you could ever keep me from having my way! Get over yourself already! Come on! I guess we're done here.
I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
On the contrary, this has been very enlightening.
And I think I may have pinpointed the source of your issue.
Sexual tension.
Look, I'm sorry.
Wilhelmina is the last person I would ever be interested in.
Well, her body language would suggest that she just might be interested in you.
- Wait, her what seemed to suggest - Please have a seat.
There are many non-verbal signals to indicate desire.
For example, when someone steps into your space and refuses to relinquish it.
Or if there is mirroring of speech or movement.
In the animal kingdom, it can be as simple as a female presenting her backside.
My advice? If you want to stop the hostility, you've got to find a way to defuse the sexual tension.
It's fine, Betty.
Just get over to your party.
I will in a minute! Oh! What about this image? - It looks kind of flowy.
- Oh, my God! I just had a brilliant idea! What if we layer real material over the images to create a kind of three-dimensional work of art? - Yeah, go with that! I'll be right back! - Okay! Okay! Sorry! Sorry, everybody! I'm sorry, we just have to try and keep the music low for a little bit longer.
Spoilsport! This sucks! Betty, I am working my ass off here.
Please don't take away my music.
We'll be left with conversation and that is not gonna work with this house of trolls.
That helps.
Frank! You know Mrs.
Varner, right? I mean, have you two ever spoken? You have so much in common.
You live in 2C and she lives in 3C.
- So, you're above me? - Yeah.
- What, do you wear wooden shoes? - Listen, I can hear you pee! - Great, we're talking.
I'll be back.
- No, please don't go, Betty! Don't go! - Betty! - I've got to drop these off.
- I'll be back in two seconds.
- You don't have to.
I'm finished.
What? Wow, that's incredible! I know, I'm a genius.
Now I just have to get it packed up and over there before the deadline.
Gee, I wonder what I'm gonna put it in.
If only I had that brilliant skull bag.
All right, let's not live in the past.
Just go! Go! And good luck! Betty, you know that I'm not one to get all gushy Oh, thank God you're here.
I'm running out of body parts to entertain people with.
Well - Hey.
Can we turn on the music yet? - I can do better than that! I can hook up the karaoke machine! We're gonna party tonight! That's right! Wilhelmina.
I didn't realize you were still here.
Well, I am.
Can we be done with the small talk now? Wait.
She just folded her arms.
Is she mirroring me? Damn it.
What is this? Oh, my God.
She's presenting.
Was that guy right? What are you doing? Ahhh! This is ridiculous.
Whoo! All right, let's get this party started! It's so horrible, but I can't look away.
Like a moth to a flame, burned by desire.
She's baring her teeth.
She totally wants to jump my bones! Did I blow a fuse? - Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No! Please! Please! Ahhh! I think you blew more than a fuse.
Oh, my God.
Betty's voice brought darkness to the land.
Ooh, is that you, Amanda? Sorry.
I thought that was my butt.
You know what's cool about blackouts? They sort of bring everyone together.
Wait, where's everyone going? Me and a bunch of the neighbors are throwing a blackout party.
You don't mind if I take those, do you? Well, why don't you guys just stay here? No offense, Betty, but your place is really dark.
It's a blackout.
It's dark everywhere.
Yeah.
Okay.
Out of my way, you freaks! I can't get out! Yeah, well, apparently none of us can, because Mr.
Fremont just said we're trapped in the building.
Oh, my God.
The door.
Why, Betty? Why today of all days did you have to have an electrical lock installed on our front door? I'm sorry.
I had no idea something like this could happen.
It's like I'm destined for failure.
I just have to accept the fact that I'm gonna be an assistant for the rest of my life.
Come on, Marc.
Don't talk like that.
Look, Wilhelmina has to make a concession.
It's a blackout! No, she doesn't.
She loves working during natural disasters.
She's probably there going through submissions right now.
Remember the blizzard of 2003? She closed an entire issue by herself.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
We could take the fire escape.
It's pitch-black out there, Betty, and everything's covered in ice.
I will slip.
I will break something.
I have the bones of a sparrow.
Forget it.
It's no use.
Well, I think if we put our minds together, we could come up with a solution.
Just give it up, Betty.
You've done enough.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Hey! What's your problem? Really? All right, thank you.
Apparently there is a city-wide blackout.
The maintenance guy said we may be here a while.
So, I guess we should just sit tight, huh? Only you would consider sitting tight a plan.
A real man would find us a way to get out of this damn thing.
Hey.
I am a real man, okay? Please.
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
What the hell was that? That was me trying to defuse the sexual tension between us.
- The what? - Oh, come on, Willie.
We both know the reason you're so hostile with me is that you secretly want me.
Now that that's out on the table, maybe you and I can handle this like two adults.
Hey, can I put my head down yet? No! I told you, you have to wait 10 minutes.
The way you're acting you'd think that I was the one that attacked you.
Yeah, I had every right to attack you.
I was protecting my home from an intruder.
What? "Intruder"? Come on, I wasn't intruding.
I was coming to check on Justin and Hilda.
Make sure they were all right during the blackout.
Yeah? And why weren't you with them? Hilda said you were going together to take Justin for his walk-through.
I got stuck at work.
I didn't know being a thug required such dedicated hours.
Hey, come on.
Is it so hard to believe that I'm not the same person I was at 17? I love your daughter.
And I plan on being around for her and the new baby, and Justin, too.
Please.
You may have my daughter and grandson fooled with this good-guy routine.
But you're not fooling me.
Not for nothing, you know what I think, Mr.
Suarez? I think that you're secretly worried that I am a good guy.
Because if that's the case, then they won't depend on only you anymore.
And you can't handle that.
Excuse me, I'm gonna go wait in the other room.
Here.
You have some blood.
I'd offer to dab it for you, but I'm afraid you'd start licking my fingers.
Okay, you made your point.
I misread the signs.
But if it's not sexual tension, then why the hell have you been so mean to me lately? - It can't just be about Marc.
- Actually, it is.
As hard as it is for me to admit, Marc is the most important man in my life.
Oh, come on, is that the same load of crap you were trying to sell the couples counselor? Look, I know Marc might not walk like a man, or talk like a man, and his features are vaguely lesbian, but the truth is he's been my one constant over the years.
If I were on my deathbed, he'd be the person I'd call.
Clearly we can't keep pulling Marc back and forth between us.
It's not fair to us or him.
We have to figure something out.
Fine.
I'll do anything as long as you don't touch me again.
So Marc? I took another look at the fire escape and it really doesn't look so bad.
- I have a ton of salt in my apartment.
- And in your diet! Look, I understand that you're angry.
But I think it would be helpful if we just tried to be in the solution.
- Dad? - Mi hija, thank God you answered.
I just got a text from your sister.
She and Justin are fine.
- How are you? - I'm fine.
It's just, we have to get out of the building and the stupid electric door won't open.
Sweetie, what can I do? Nothing.
Unless you know someone who can pick a lock.
Okay, Chipmunk, you got a red wire, a yellow wire and a green wire.
All right, move them all to the left.
Okay, I'm gonna try and be really careful and not let them touch, but my hands are a little shaky, though.
Sweetie, Impossible, okay? There's no electricity.
I just want you to be able to see the cylinder.
I see it! Good.
Now, go ahead and stick the screwdriver in the cylinder.
And turn it clockwise till you hear a little click.
All right, now you're gonna go counterclockwise until the deadbolt slides open.
- That's it.
- It worked! It worked! Of course it did.
What do you think, I'm an amateur? I'm not a professional, neither.
Bobby, I owe you so big.
What is your favorite cologne? Because sometimes at work we get free I've got to go.
Marc! I've got to say, I still can't believe that you broke us out of our own apartment building.
That was bold, Suarez.
Even for someone who sometimes wears socks with heels.
I just hope the neighbors aren't too mad at me.
I really felt like I was making progress with them tonight, until they all left to go to Amanda's party.
- Why do you care what they think? - I don't know.
I was just trying to make connections with people.
I've had a really hard year, you know? My best friend left to Scotland, Matt left, and I moved away from my family.
Sometimes I feel like I get home and I could close the door and die and no one would know until they smelled my rotting corpse.
Ugh.
- I guess you never feel lonely, huh? - No.
My life is way too fabulous.
Is that Meade? It looks so weird all dark.
My God.
How could we be so stupid? Meade is, like, electric everything! We're never gonna be able to get in.
Once again, life has pooped on the head of Marc St.
James! That's I've had it.
Wait! Where are you going? We just made it all the way here! No! No! I don't want to hear it! The only reason that I tried to reach above my means is because of you! Because I thought, "What would Betty do if she were in my position?" She'd be all, like, "Oh, reach for the stars! "And unicorns and lollipops and sunflowers!" So why can't I? Well Look at me! This is why! I have had it up to here with your sunny optimism.
Yeah? Well, I've had it up to here with your negativity! All you ever do is complain.
"I'm Marc St.
James.
Everything bad happens to me.
"I never get what I want.
I'm always the bun.
" Have you ever tried, just once, to think happy thoughts? Please.
What do you want me to do? Clap if I believe in fairies? - Yeah, I want you to clap! - Fine.
I believe in fairies, Betty! - We believe! - Come on out! Don't forget your fairy dust! - That's good! - Thank you.
Thank you very much! - You're welcome! - Excellent! Oh, my God! Oh, great, great! - Come on, Betty! Come on! - Yay! Here you go, Bobby.
It's not poison, I promise.
It's scotch.
Yeah, all right.
Thanks.
Thank you, for helping Betty.
Listen I'm sorry I blew up at you before, you know.
I was talking out of my ass, I didn't mean any of it.
Yes, you did.
And you were right.
- I was? - Well, partially.
I'm not totally convinced that you're not still a thug.
But these last few weeks, I've seen how great you've been with Hilda and Justin.
And it was hard to see myself replaced.
I guess I got a little jealous.
- Come on, of me? - Mmm.
- Yeah.
- Get out of here, that's - I could never take your place.
- I know.
Wow! I really messed you up, didn't I? I'm just gonna be two seconds.
I want to grab something here from my desk.
I'm sorry, Marc.
Well, we tried.
Did you see her head? - Man, it rolled right off! - That's disgusting! - Hey! You're back! - Hey, hey! How was the walk-through? We never made it.
We were stuck in the subway all night.
- Wait, you texted me you were fine.
- Yeah, well, I'm not stupid.
It was pitch-black and terrifying.
Should I have texted you that? I learned today that Mom is not good in high-pressure situations.
So she's not coming to my audition tomorrow.
- Baby, what happened to your face? - Your father attacked me with a pie pan.
Man, you got off easy.
You're lucky I didn't use my steel casserole dish.
Okay, wait, whoa, whoa.
I am so confused.
Let me clear something up.
I've been a stubborn old man.
And I'm sorry for the way that I've been acting.
Anyway, if that offer's still good for me to see my grandkid tomorrow, I'd like to go.
That is, if Bobby doesn't mind.
- I'd like that.
- All right.
I'd like that a lot.
- All right.
- Okay.
Good morning, Willie.
Uh, I got that stuff you wanted.
Where would you like me to put it? Next to me is fine.
So, did you and Daniel decide which of you I'd be working for yet? Yes, you'll be working for me.
As my newest fashion editor.
Great, I'm glad that you got Wait.
Did you just say Congratulations.
So you had me order champagne and flowers for me? Well, you didn't honestly think I'd do it myself, did you? Of course not.
So, I'm the new senior fashion editor? You're kidding.
You're not qualified for that job.
I decided I didn't need one.
I'm gonna use the money for our new junior fashion editor.
Willie, is this promotion just so you could keep Daniel from winning me? Don't be ridiculous.
You think I'd give you a promotion if you didn't deserve it? Willie, thank you.
Thank you so much! - I'm not the emotional type.
- Right.
But you can write yourself a nice note from me.
Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Sorry.
I've never had so many people crammed in here at one time.
- Well, we're a tight-knit family.
I can see that.
- Yeah, it's how we do it.
- Hey.
Wow, look at that.
Hey, that little dot, that's him? - Or her.
- Yeah, or her.
Is something wrong? I'm not seeing a heartbeat.
Are you sure? I'm very sorry.
Hey.
Can I get you anything? No.
I'm just thinking.
I finally got my head around this baby and How it's gonna fit into our little family.
- And now we won't even be one.
- Hey.
Hey.
Listen to me, baby or no baby, we're gonna be a family.
All right, I'm not going anywhere.
Okay? We thought you might want something.
Tea and cookies.
Oh, my God! I just got off the phone with Lena Korvinka! She loved my audition and wants to formally invite me to join her class! - Yay! Congratulations! - Can you believe it? - That's great! Hey! - Oh, my God! Oh, honey.
I'm so proud of you.
Congratulations.
- Hey! - Hey! I was in the hallway and I thought I smelled something.
So I just came over to make sure you weren't dead.
Nope, still here.
Oh, hey! I heard about your promotion.
- Congratulations.
- Yeah.
It's pretty crazy, right? No, I don't think that's crazy.
Uh, anyway, Amanda's not here and I was just hanging out by myself over there.
So I was thinking maybe if you wanted to we could watch TV and make fun of people's clothes.
You might learn something.
I mean, if you want to.
We don't have to.
No, no! That would be fun.
Okay.
Are you hungry? I have some leftover pasta.
No.
- No? - No, I don't eat pasta.
Are you guys okay? - That was so great! - Thanks.
Justin, your Stanley is perfect! Betty, I'm not sure, you may have put the "blah" in Blanche.
Well, you didn't exactly put the "stellar" in Stella.
Ooh, mean! You are so getting into Lena Korvavinky's class! I can feel it.
It's Lena Korvinka! How do you not know that? She is only the most famous living actress of our time! I think it is so cool that you get to audition for her.
- Her classes are legendary.
- I know.
She's probably seen it all.
I wonder if A Streetcar Named Desire is a little too obvious.
I may need to rethink this.
I'm so nervous for him.
I hope he gets this.
I know.
High school hasn't exactly been a picnic for him.
That's why Bobby and I are gonna wait until this whole thing is over until we tell him about the baby.
Wait, you guys are gonna tell him together? - That sounds promising.
- I know! Okay, I'm ready to go.
Wait.
Wait, you guys are leaving already? I thought that maybe you could stay, hang out, and we could have dinner or something.
I'm sorry, I made dinner plans with Bobby.
Yeah, and I have to decide on my comedic monologue.
It's between Molière and one of Brad's breakdowns from The Rachel Zoe Project.
Well, that's too bad 'cause I made too much pasta and I was hoping you guys would help me eat the leftovers.
Sorry, AB.
All right, well, I guess I'm just used to making enough for me and Matt.
Oh.
You want me to cancel? I'll call Bobby.
No! No, come on.
Don't be silly.
Go! It's not like I have nothing to do.
It's going to be another cold one, so bundle up and watch out for the ice.
In other news, a woman in Midtown was found dead in her apartment yesterday after almost a month.
Sources say that, though the woman lived in the building for 12 years, none of her more than 50 neighbors really knew her or noticed her absence.
I saw her through the window once, eating her pasta alone.
Looked like she made too much.
How sad.
I guess the old saying is true, you really can be alone in a crowd.
Hey! Guys, I was just thinking.
Wouldn't it be fun if the three of us walked to work together some day? I mean, seeing as we do live across the hall from each other and everything.
We live across the hall from each other? Yeah, when I say, "Don't go in the hall, it's there," that's what I mean.
Okay, so we're doing the mean thing.
I just think that it's weird that I don't know anyone else in the building.
I mean, do either one of you ever talk to anybody else? Not directly.
But we do leave nasty notes on the bulletin board downstairs for some of them.
Synonymously, of course.
See, here's the problem with living in an apartment complex.
People come home, they close their doors, they shut out the rest of the world, and no one takes any time to even get to know their neighbors.
You should really do something about that, Betty.
You know what? I'm going to.
She's a real go-getter, isn't she? If only she'd apply some of that pluck to her chin hair.
See you later.
- Good one.
- Thank you.
Oh, and could you also make up some more media kits when you get a chance? I'm gonna need Marc for the rest of the day to help organize the wild vest shoot.
- Marc! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a second.
I can't spare Marc today.
Daniel, I am working as both editor-in-chief and creative director.
Until we hire a senior fashion editor, I have to have Marc available to me.
Marc! Marc, stay! Look, I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed, but I need him, too.
To what? Schedule your naps? You know what? I've had just about enough out of you.
I've been more than kind in sharing Marc with you over the past few weeks, but that's it.
He is off-limits to you.
What? You can't cut me off from my own assistant.
He's not your assistant anymore.
He's mine.
Let me get one thing through that giant egghead of yours.
I will get Marc back.
This is not over.
Hi! I'm Betty.
I just moved back into the building - and I was wondering if maybe you - Not interested.
Okay.
Hi, want to come to a karaoke party in 5G? "Jackass.
" That's not very nice.
Hey! Hey, could you let us in? - Thank you so much! - Thank you.
Thanks.
- We were about to freeze out here.
- Yeah, looks like you were turning blue.
Yeah.
- Do you guys live in the building? - We're moving in today.
Yeah, in all the craziness, we managed to lock ourselves out.
Oh, that's awful! I'm Betty, by the way.
- I'm Gus and that's Vickie.
- Hi! - Hey.
- You know what? I just so happen to be throwing a neighborly karaoke party in my apartment tomorrow night.
Come! You don't have to sing if you don't want to.
- I mean, I will, but - My God, how nice! Thank you! - Yeah! Great.
See you tomorrow.
- All right, bye.
- Okay.
Bye.
Thank you.
- Okay, bye.
Yay! I want to kill myself! Wilhelmina and Daniel will not stop fighting over me.
This ménage à moi has got to stop.
I hate being in the middle.
I mean, unless there's a Gyllenhaal involved.
This totally reminds me of when I was 12 and my parents separated.
I got so good at manipulating them.
They even bought me a chimp.
I named him Rainbow.
Oh, that's so cute.
But then I got bored of him and left him in a cab.
Not as cute.
I just can't take much more of this bickering.
Oh, you poor little gayby.
You know, as the child of an almost broken home, I totally know how you feel.
I just got an amaze-balls idea.
Why don't you let me work some of my manipulative magic on Mommy and Daddy Mode? Uh Actually, you know what? Go ahead.
But I can't hear about anything or be involved in any way.
Besides, I already have my own plan in motion for how to get myself out of this mess.
- What is it? - It's top secret.
Don't screw up whatever you're gonna do, okay? Ten-four.
This has been re-confirmed.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Excuse me.
What happened? Our building got broken into.
A whole bunch of the apartments were robbed.
Look, they even stole our planter.
- Oh, no! - Oh, yeah.
But a neighbor saw what was happening, so he called the police.
And now they're scanning through security footage to see if they can find a positive ID.
- Good.
- That's them! They're the ones I saw running off with our planter.
Hey, who's the dink letting them in? Wait a minute.
You're the dink! I mean, how was I supposed to know that they were burglars? Well, it's always the fresh-faced ones that get you.
All I can say is it's a good thing they didn't get as high as our floor.
They did.
Amanda didn't tell you? They stole her silver bag.
You mean the silver bag with the huge gold skull - that's either hideous or brilliant? - Yeah.
I told her I would buy her a new one, but He runs so funny.
I feel awful.
I just wish there was a way I could make it up to the building.
All of my neighbors hate me now.
Someone actually wrote the word "die" in huge letters across the party invitation I posted.
Ouch.
You do the redlining on these since you have the assistant.
Wow.
It's been a real joy to have her back in the office.
- Is there anything I can do to help? - Yeah.
You can get me one of those electric dog fences for the doorway.
Something that'll shock Wilhelmina every time she comes in.
Daniel, I don't think that would even work on her.
But it might work in my building.
After careful thought, I've decided to use a classic Parent Trap technique with Daniel and Wilhelmina.
Great, fine, whatever.
Listen, remember yesterday when you borrowed my laptop and before you left you put it into your silver bag? - The one you said was hideous? - Or brilliant.
You took my laptop out of the bag before it got stolen, right? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please tell me that you did.
- Okay, I did.
- Thank God.
Where is it? What? My laptop! Is this a trick question? Oh, my God.
Oh, God! This is a disaster.
My entire life is on that computer! Marc, I know you're upset, but it's not like "Hot Guys of the Israeli Army" can't be downloaded again.
I'm not talking about Oy, the Boys! There is stuff on that computer that is the key to my future and now it is gone.
Forever.
I'm going to be sick.
Okay, Marc, don't worry.
I got you covered! This Wilhelmina and Daniel thing is in the bag.
I'm sorry.
I Justin! I want to be supportive but the pacing has to stop.
Okay.
I'll just go upstairs.
Hey, I got us some scary movies.
Lady at the rental place said they were campy fun.
I can't, Grandpa.
No one likes campy fun as much as I do, but I'm a little wound up right now.
Maybe I'll feel better after my run-through at the audition space tonight.
- Need a ride? I could take you.
- Bobby and I already got it covered.
Fine.
Okay, this has to stop.
What are you talking about? You.
This.
The way you act every time Bobby's name comes up.
Come on, I thought maybe you could come with me to the doctor's appointment on Thursday.
See your new grandkid.
Is he gonna be there? If by "he" you mean Bobby, yeah, the father of my child is gonna be there.
He wants to be there every step of the way.
You're deceiving yourself, mi hija.
Can't you see that this Bobby character's not reliable? You're wrong.
Bobby and I are gonna be a family, so you'd better get used to it.
Thank you, everyone, for coming.
Not as big a turnout as I hoped.
But one, two, three, four of us.
That's not bad, right? Don't count me.
I'm just getting my mail.
Okay.
So, after yesterday's unfortunate incident, which I feel partially responsible for Partially? It was your fault.
Okay, I mean, I didn't rob the building myself.
I made an innocent mistake.
Anyway, I spoke to our landlord, Mr.
Z, and arranged for him to install an electronic locking device on our doors.
Ta-da! See? Now, none of us will ever have to worry about "lost keys" again because we'll have the option of using a passcode, which I will now choose based on your thoughtful suggestions.
The new building passcode is "fart!" Okay.
I guess I'll just pick another one.
Why? What's wrong with "fart?" First you get us robbed and now you won't even take our suggestions? Fine.
The building has spoken.
I will have Mr.
Z notify everyone that the new building passcode is "fart.
" Okay, now for the cutting of the Marc! You just ruined my ribbon! Yeah? Well, you ruined my life! So I guess we're even.
What are you talking about? My laptop was in Amanda's silver bag! I'm sorry.
I can call HR.
Maybe insurance will cover it.
Really? Will they also cover my lost submission material for the new senior fashion editor's job? Huh? Will they? Wow.
You were applying for that? That's ambitious.
Yeah, Betty.
News flash, you're not the only one with hopes and dreams.
So, Marc went home sick, huh? - He has looked pretty tired lately.
- Totally.
So, it looks like all you have left is your 6:15 in the lounge.
Oh, great.
Oops! Strike that.
Forget I ever said anything or she'll kill me.
What? Who will kill you? Wilhelmina.
I wasn't supposed to tell you about that meeting.
She said something about wanting to take it alone.
- She did, did she? - Yeah.
Well, I guess she's in for a very big surprise.
Marc went home sick? He'd never have the nerve to do that on my watch.
Why are you still here? Oh.
Marc left your schedule with me.
I thought you might want to go over it.
- No.
- No? - Because you do have an appointment.
- Go.
But don't you want me to tell you about the 6:15 meeting that Dad I mean, Daniel is running.
- Did you just refer to Daniel as "Dad?" - No, Mom! I mean, Wilhemommy! I mean, Daniel set up a meeting that he doesn't want you to know about in the lounge! Look, I don't know what kind of kinky relationship you and Daniel have, but "Daddy" is not keeping me from any meeting.
I am so getting another chimp out of this.
Come on, Marc! I'm not gonna leave till you open the door! Talk fast.
I'm in the middle of anger-eating a seven-cheese lasagna.
I just want to apologize.
I think it's great that you're applying for the senior editor position.
So you don't think it's out of my league? I think it's a big step up, but you're perfect for it.
Of course I am.
But it doesn't matter.
Wilhelmina's gonna make her decision by tomorrow, so all of the submission materials have to be on her desk by tonight.
And there is no way that I can recreate everything that I did by myself by midnight.
Well, what if I helped you? - Ugh, forget it, Betty.
- No, let me do this.
Please? I would feel so awful if you missed this opportunity because of me.
What do you have to lose? Ugh.
Well - Can I have a piece of lasagna? - No! I should have known you'd try and pull a stunt like this.
Well, I'm not the one booking secret meetings and trying to get away with it, am I? - Yes, you are.
That's why I'm here.
- What the hell are you talking about? Wait.
If neither of us booked this meeting, who is this? I'm your couples counselor.
And by the looks of it, I have my work cut out for me.
Couples counselor? Is this some kind of joke? - Who would do this? - As if you didn't know, Daddy-o.
This is ridiculous, I'm leaving.
Well, I've clearly identified the beta dog in this relationship.
I hope for your sake you didn't just use the words "dog" or "beta" in relation to me.
Sorry.
I was merely referencing a common behavioral pattern.
The first person to leave a room tends to be the weaker one.
Oh.
Is that so? Yes! I found my fancy paper! "Matt-less in Manhattan?" You're not seriously thinking of using that as a title for something, are you? It's for my blog.
I forgot it was up on the screen.
How do you want to do this? You want to dictate while I type? I don't know.
I had all these mock-ups and customized layouts and It took me weeks to make all the decisions.
- This is never gonna be as good.
- Yes, it will be, Marc.
You're great.
I have to be more than great! This is a senior position! I have to wow them.
Okay, well, then we'll wow them.
We've got all night and neither of us have anything else to do.
- Hi.
We're here for your party.
- Hi! I assumed no one was coming after the whole burglary thing.
What? So you don't want us here? No, I Yes, I do.
I did.
It's just, this last-minute project thing sort of came up and I'm a little What's going on? She's canceling on us! What, now? After everything she's put us through? - She owes us! - Yeah.
See, this is why you should never get to know your neighbors.
And even though I spent years working my way to the top while Daniel here had the same job handed to him on a silver platter by his father, I've always treated him with respect.
That is such bull.
You've always been a bitch to me, only now she's being a super bitch.
It's You see what I have to deal with? It's the name-calling that hurts the most.
Okay, time out! She is totally faking right now.
This is not her.
And PS, she calls me names all the time.
This morning, she called me an egghead.
I was merely making an observation.
Can I help it if your head has a weird elliptical arc to it? Do you see this? She's insulting me.
All because I wouldn't let her get her way with Marc.
As if you could ever keep me from having my way! Get over yourself already! Come on! I guess we're done here.
I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
On the contrary, this has been very enlightening.
And I think I may have pinpointed the source of your issue.
Sexual tension.
Look, I'm sorry.
Wilhelmina is the last person I would ever be interested in.
Well, her body language would suggest that she just might be interested in you.
- Wait, her what seemed to suggest - Please have a seat.
There are many non-verbal signals to indicate desire.
For example, when someone steps into your space and refuses to relinquish it.
Or if there is mirroring of speech or movement.
In the animal kingdom, it can be as simple as a female presenting her backside.
My advice? If you want to stop the hostility, you've got to find a way to defuse the sexual tension.
It's fine, Betty.
Just get over to your party.
I will in a minute! Oh! What about this image? - It looks kind of flowy.
- Oh, my God! I just had a brilliant idea! What if we layer real material over the images to create a kind of three-dimensional work of art? - Yeah, go with that! I'll be right back! - Okay! Okay! Sorry! Sorry, everybody! I'm sorry, we just have to try and keep the music low for a little bit longer.
Spoilsport! This sucks! Betty, I am working my ass off here.
Please don't take away my music.
We'll be left with conversation and that is not gonna work with this house of trolls.
That helps.
Frank! You know Mrs.
Varner, right? I mean, have you two ever spoken? You have so much in common.
You live in 2C and she lives in 3C.
- So, you're above me? - Yeah.
- What, do you wear wooden shoes? - Listen, I can hear you pee! - Great, we're talking.
I'll be back.
- No, please don't go, Betty! Don't go! - Betty! - I've got to drop these off.
- I'll be back in two seconds.
- You don't have to.
I'm finished.
What? Wow, that's incredible! I know, I'm a genius.
Now I just have to get it packed up and over there before the deadline.
Gee, I wonder what I'm gonna put it in.
If only I had that brilliant skull bag.
All right, let's not live in the past.
Just go! Go! And good luck! Betty, you know that I'm not one to get all gushy Oh, thank God you're here.
I'm running out of body parts to entertain people with.
Well - Hey.
Can we turn on the music yet? - I can do better than that! I can hook up the karaoke machine! We're gonna party tonight! That's right! Wilhelmina.
I didn't realize you were still here.
Well, I am.
Can we be done with the small talk now? Wait.
She just folded her arms.
Is she mirroring me? Damn it.
What is this? Oh, my God.
She's presenting.
Was that guy right? What are you doing? Ahhh! This is ridiculous.
Whoo! All right, let's get this party started! It's so horrible, but I can't look away.
Like a moth to a flame, burned by desire.
She's baring her teeth.
She totally wants to jump my bones! Did I blow a fuse? - Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No! Please! Please! Ahhh! I think you blew more than a fuse.
Oh, my God.
Betty's voice brought darkness to the land.
Ooh, is that you, Amanda? Sorry.
I thought that was my butt.
You know what's cool about blackouts? They sort of bring everyone together.
Wait, where's everyone going? Me and a bunch of the neighbors are throwing a blackout party.
You don't mind if I take those, do you? Well, why don't you guys just stay here? No offense, Betty, but your place is really dark.
It's a blackout.
It's dark everywhere.
Yeah.
Okay.
Out of my way, you freaks! I can't get out! Yeah, well, apparently none of us can, because Mr.
Fremont just said we're trapped in the building.
Oh, my God.
The door.
Why, Betty? Why today of all days did you have to have an electrical lock installed on our front door? I'm sorry.
I had no idea something like this could happen.
It's like I'm destined for failure.
I just have to accept the fact that I'm gonna be an assistant for the rest of my life.
Come on, Marc.
Don't talk like that.
Look, Wilhelmina has to make a concession.
It's a blackout! No, she doesn't.
She loves working during natural disasters.
She's probably there going through submissions right now.
Remember the blizzard of 2003? She closed an entire issue by herself.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
We could take the fire escape.
It's pitch-black out there, Betty, and everything's covered in ice.
I will slip.
I will break something.
I have the bones of a sparrow.
Forget it.
It's no use.
Well, I think if we put our minds together, we could come up with a solution.
Just give it up, Betty.
You've done enough.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Hey! What's your problem? Really? All right, thank you.
Apparently there is a city-wide blackout.
The maintenance guy said we may be here a while.
So, I guess we should just sit tight, huh? Only you would consider sitting tight a plan.
A real man would find us a way to get out of this damn thing.
Hey.
I am a real man, okay? Please.
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
What the hell was that? That was me trying to defuse the sexual tension between us.
- The what? - Oh, come on, Willie.
We both know the reason you're so hostile with me is that you secretly want me.
Now that that's out on the table, maybe you and I can handle this like two adults.
Hey, can I put my head down yet? No! I told you, you have to wait 10 minutes.
The way you're acting you'd think that I was the one that attacked you.
Yeah, I had every right to attack you.
I was protecting my home from an intruder.
What? "Intruder"? Come on, I wasn't intruding.
I was coming to check on Justin and Hilda.
Make sure they were all right during the blackout.
Yeah? And why weren't you with them? Hilda said you were going together to take Justin for his walk-through.
I got stuck at work.
I didn't know being a thug required such dedicated hours.
Hey, come on.
Is it so hard to believe that I'm not the same person I was at 17? I love your daughter.
And I plan on being around for her and the new baby, and Justin, too.
Please.
You may have my daughter and grandson fooled with this good-guy routine.
But you're not fooling me.
Not for nothing, you know what I think, Mr.
Suarez? I think that you're secretly worried that I am a good guy.
Because if that's the case, then they won't depend on only you anymore.
And you can't handle that.
Excuse me, I'm gonna go wait in the other room.
Here.
You have some blood.
I'd offer to dab it for you, but I'm afraid you'd start licking my fingers.
Okay, you made your point.
I misread the signs.
But if it's not sexual tension, then why the hell have you been so mean to me lately? - It can't just be about Marc.
- Actually, it is.
As hard as it is for me to admit, Marc is the most important man in my life.
Oh, come on, is that the same load of crap you were trying to sell the couples counselor? Look, I know Marc might not walk like a man, or talk like a man, and his features are vaguely lesbian, but the truth is he's been my one constant over the years.
If I were on my deathbed, he'd be the person I'd call.
Clearly we can't keep pulling Marc back and forth between us.
It's not fair to us or him.
We have to figure something out.
Fine.
I'll do anything as long as you don't touch me again.
So Marc? I took another look at the fire escape and it really doesn't look so bad.
- I have a ton of salt in my apartment.
- And in your diet! Look, I understand that you're angry.
But I think it would be helpful if we just tried to be in the solution.
- Dad? - Mi hija, thank God you answered.
I just got a text from your sister.
She and Justin are fine.
- How are you? - I'm fine.
It's just, we have to get out of the building and the stupid electric door won't open.
Sweetie, what can I do? Nothing.
Unless you know someone who can pick a lock.
Okay, Chipmunk, you got a red wire, a yellow wire and a green wire.
All right, move them all to the left.
Okay, I'm gonna try and be really careful and not let them touch, but my hands are a little shaky, though.
Sweetie, Impossible, okay? There's no electricity.
I just want you to be able to see the cylinder.
I see it! Good.
Now, go ahead and stick the screwdriver in the cylinder.
And turn it clockwise till you hear a little click.
All right, now you're gonna go counterclockwise until the deadbolt slides open.
- That's it.
- It worked! It worked! Of course it did.
What do you think, I'm an amateur? I'm not a professional, neither.
Bobby, I owe you so big.
What is your favorite cologne? Because sometimes at work we get free I've got to go.
Marc! I've got to say, I still can't believe that you broke us out of our own apartment building.
That was bold, Suarez.
Even for someone who sometimes wears socks with heels.
I just hope the neighbors aren't too mad at me.
I really felt like I was making progress with them tonight, until they all left to go to Amanda's party.
- Why do you care what they think? - I don't know.
I was just trying to make connections with people.
I've had a really hard year, you know? My best friend left to Scotland, Matt left, and I moved away from my family.
Sometimes I feel like I get home and I could close the door and die and no one would know until they smelled my rotting corpse.
Ugh.
- I guess you never feel lonely, huh? - No.
My life is way too fabulous.
Is that Meade? It looks so weird all dark.
My God.
How could we be so stupid? Meade is, like, electric everything! We're never gonna be able to get in.
Once again, life has pooped on the head of Marc St.
James! That's I've had it.
Wait! Where are you going? We just made it all the way here! No! No! I don't want to hear it! The only reason that I tried to reach above my means is because of you! Because I thought, "What would Betty do if she were in my position?" She'd be all, like, "Oh, reach for the stars! "And unicorns and lollipops and sunflowers!" So why can't I? Well Look at me! This is why! I have had it up to here with your sunny optimism.
Yeah? Well, I've had it up to here with your negativity! All you ever do is complain.
"I'm Marc St.
James.
Everything bad happens to me.
"I never get what I want.
I'm always the bun.
" Have you ever tried, just once, to think happy thoughts? Please.
What do you want me to do? Clap if I believe in fairies? - Yeah, I want you to clap! - Fine.
I believe in fairies, Betty! - We believe! - Come on out! Don't forget your fairy dust! - That's good! - Thank you.
Thank you very much! - You're welcome! - Excellent! Oh, my God! Oh, great, great! - Come on, Betty! Come on! - Yay! Here you go, Bobby.
It's not poison, I promise.
It's scotch.
Yeah, all right.
Thanks.
Thank you, for helping Betty.
Listen I'm sorry I blew up at you before, you know.
I was talking out of my ass, I didn't mean any of it.
Yes, you did.
And you were right.
- I was? - Well, partially.
I'm not totally convinced that you're not still a thug.
But these last few weeks, I've seen how great you've been with Hilda and Justin.
And it was hard to see myself replaced.
I guess I got a little jealous.
- Come on, of me? - Mmm.
- Yeah.
- Get out of here, that's - I could never take your place.
- I know.
Wow! I really messed you up, didn't I? I'm just gonna be two seconds.
I want to grab something here from my desk.
I'm sorry, Marc.
Well, we tried.
Did you see her head? - Man, it rolled right off! - That's disgusting! - Hey! You're back! - Hey, hey! How was the walk-through? We never made it.
We were stuck in the subway all night.
- Wait, you texted me you were fine.
- Yeah, well, I'm not stupid.
It was pitch-black and terrifying.
Should I have texted you that? I learned today that Mom is not good in high-pressure situations.
So she's not coming to my audition tomorrow.
- Baby, what happened to your face? - Your father attacked me with a pie pan.
Man, you got off easy.
You're lucky I didn't use my steel casserole dish.
Okay, wait, whoa, whoa.
I am so confused.
Let me clear something up.
I've been a stubborn old man.
And I'm sorry for the way that I've been acting.
Anyway, if that offer's still good for me to see my grandkid tomorrow, I'd like to go.
That is, if Bobby doesn't mind.
- I'd like that.
- All right.
I'd like that a lot.
- All right.
- Okay.
Good morning, Willie.
Uh, I got that stuff you wanted.
Where would you like me to put it? Next to me is fine.
So, did you and Daniel decide which of you I'd be working for yet? Yes, you'll be working for me.
As my newest fashion editor.
Great, I'm glad that you got Wait.
Did you just say Congratulations.
So you had me order champagne and flowers for me? Well, you didn't honestly think I'd do it myself, did you? Of course not.
So, I'm the new senior fashion editor? You're kidding.
You're not qualified for that job.
I decided I didn't need one.
I'm gonna use the money for our new junior fashion editor.
Willie, is this promotion just so you could keep Daniel from winning me? Don't be ridiculous.
You think I'd give you a promotion if you didn't deserve it? Willie, thank you.
Thank you so much! - I'm not the emotional type.
- Right.
But you can write yourself a nice note from me.
Thank you.
- Excuse me.
- Sorry.
I've never had so many people crammed in here at one time.
- Well, we're a tight-knit family.
I can see that.
- Yeah, it's how we do it.
- Hey.
Wow, look at that.
Hey, that little dot, that's him? - Or her.
- Yeah, or her.
Is something wrong? I'm not seeing a heartbeat.
Are you sure? I'm very sorry.
Hey.
Can I get you anything? No.
I'm just thinking.
I finally got my head around this baby and How it's gonna fit into our little family.
- And now we won't even be one.
- Hey.
Hey.
Listen to me, baby or no baby, we're gonna be a family.
All right, I'm not going anywhere.
Okay? We thought you might want something.
Tea and cookies.
Oh, my God! I just got off the phone with Lena Korvinka! She loved my audition and wants to formally invite me to join her class! - Yay! Congratulations! - Can you believe it? - That's great! Hey! - Oh, my God! Oh, honey.
I'm so proud of you.
Congratulations.
- Hey! - Hey! I was in the hallway and I thought I smelled something.
So I just came over to make sure you weren't dead.
Nope, still here.
Oh, hey! I heard about your promotion.
- Congratulations.
- Yeah.
It's pretty crazy, right? No, I don't think that's crazy.
Uh, anyway, Amanda's not here and I was just hanging out by myself over there.
So I was thinking maybe if you wanted to we could watch TV and make fun of people's clothes.
You might learn something.
I mean, if you want to.
We don't have to.
No, no! That would be fun.
Okay.
Are you hungry? I have some leftover pasta.
No.
- No? - No, I don't eat pasta.