We Bare Bears (2015) s04e12 Episode Script
Paperboyz
1 Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go! We'll be there A wink and a smile and a great, old time Yeah, we'll be there Wherever we are, there's fun to be found We'll be there when you turn that corner We'll jump out the bush With a big bear hug and a smile We'll be there [Music.]
[Knock on door.]
Jerry: Coming, coming.
Yes, hello? Grizzly: Uh, down here, sir! Howdy! We hear you have a room for rent.
Well, say hello to your new tenants.
We're housebroken.
And I promise we only smell a little bit.
[Clears throat.]
Do you have any references? Oh, man, do we! [As Arnold Schwarzenegger.]
Go! Get to the "choppah"! Do you want more? We got plenty.
Uh, no.
Do you have a good credit score? Panda, you once got a high score on Bump 'n Jump at that arcade, right? Oh, yeah.
How's a score of 20,000? Ugh! Do you even have a job? J-Job W-What's that, again? I think it's, like, working? Oh, golly, no.
That's, like, a thing old people do.
What do you think I'm running here, an orphanage? You three ought to get your lives together.
But we're like 2.
We barely even started our lives.
- Ahh! - No, no, wait, hang on! - Please! - Get Get out of here! Go! We can pay in the joyous laughter of children! Chester, chase these hooligans away.
Chester? [Growling.]
Uh, nice doggy.
[Barking, bears scream.]
[Music.]
Man, that was pretty much the worst, huh? Do you think he had a point, though? You know, about the whole getting a job thing? Hmm, I guess we could try being productive members of society for once.
But where does a kid get a job? [Bell dings.]
Huh? [Music.]
[Zing!.]
Oh, yeah! What, what! 'Sup, tater tots? - Cool! - Cool! Did I hear you were looking for a job? 'Cause I can totally hook you guys up.
Oh, my gosh, really? Yes, please! - What's the job? Is it hard? - You'll be paperboys like me.
And nah, it's super easy.
Check it.
Oh, thank you, Joey! No prob, Mrs.
P.
Your wig is looking nice.
It's my real hair, but thank you.
That's all there is to it.
Sweet gig, right? You guys down? Hey-o.
- Hi, Joey.
- Hey, Joe.
I brought some new potential paperboys.
- Howdy do? - Hey-yo, my dude.
- What's poppin'? - Hey.
What's happening? Whoa, this looks rad! What's this? Did I hear "potential new paperboys"? That's us! That's us! That's us! I'm Mr.
Howard.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Now, let's have a look at you boys.
Mr.
Howard: A fine build, an air of youthful energy, a fresh sparkle in the eyes.
Now, I usually don't give out jobs so easily.
After all, the paperboy biz is very competitive.
But some of my boys did just move to Hawaii.
Heck, welcome to the team, boys.
- Whoa! - Do we get cool bikes and stuff? Uh, I'm afraid we don't have any spare bikes.
But you do get these cool paper-holding satchels.
Wear them with pride, boys.
So, you ready to start? - Yeah, let's do this! - Whoo! That's the spirit.
Alright, boys.
We're working stiffs now.
Let's go out there and do this! Ah.
[Music.]
[Beeps.]
Target acquired.
Ha! Hmm.
[Music.]
Huh? Hmm.
Nyeh! [Grunting.]
[Panting.]
Huh? Hmm.
[Whistling.]
[Music continues.]
[Crow caws.]
[Crow caws.]
[Crow caws.]
[Rock music.]
[Car alarm blaring.]
[Groans.]
[Grunts.]
[Crying.]
Oh, Jeremy! Sorry, ma'am! Wait, no! [Alarm blaring.]
No, no, no, no.
No! No! How? Ahh! Aw, cute.
Wha Uh Excuse me, kitty.
[Sneezes.]
Please, not too close.
Please, leave me alone.
[Sneezing.]
Oh, hello, dearie.
Don't mind the kitties.
They just like to play.
Help me.
[Music.]
[Crow caws.]
[Crows cawing.]
[Music.]
If Steve takes Pine, Eddy takes Main We're W-We're back.
Working is hard.
Ohh, you boys look real crunchy.
Well, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, you did wonderfully.
A real bang-up job out there.
Come on over and collect your pay, boys.
Nice! Our very first paycheck! Jobs rule! Whoo-hoo! [Chuckles.]
Well, now for the bad news.
You know how I said some of my boys moved to Hawaii? Well, turns out, they were just on vacation.
Aloha, dude.
Anyway, they wanted their jobs back, so that means only one of you can keep working.
So, who is it gonna be? Oh! Um, well, it should probably be me, right? You know, the oldest, most responsible one.
Ha.
Don't be silly, Grizz.
I'm way more responsible than you.
[Chuckles.]
Come on, Panda, you can't do this.
Look at you.
Wouldn't want your allergies - to get in the way, huh, baby bro? - Hey, back off, Grizz.
You're way too weak to be a real paperboy anyway.
Now check out these guns.
Hey, stop showing off! - Hey, w-wait, Grizz.
- Hey! Paperboys: Fight, fight, fight! Don't fight, don't fight, don't fight! Truce.
Armistice.
Cut it out! Yeesh.
There's got to be a civil way to solve this.
- Yeah? Like what? - Um, like Oh! I have an idea.
Joey: Extra, extra! Read all about it! Paperboy competition today! Mr.
Howard: Okay, boys.
The rules are simple.
The first to deliver their papers to all the houses in this cul-de-sac gets the job and the glory.
Now, I don't want to see any horseplay or messing with each other out there.
Oh, I'm sure Pan Pan will mess himself up just fine without me.
Well, slow and steady wins the race, Grizz.
Mr.
Howard: Okay, save it for the race, boys.
Now, on your marks [Music.]
get set and go! [Horn blows.]
You're going down, bros! Ha! [Music.]
Oh! You see that? That's that real stuff! Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.
Aa-aa-choo! - Oh! Who's weak now? Hm! - Gross, dude.
- Wha - Hmph! Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe what I'm seeing! Competition has turned these bears into paper-chucking machines.
Unbelievable! Uh, not super great, but still very exciting.
They're coming upon the final house, and it's looking close.
Wait! They've stopped? The house of Chester.
[Music.]
I'm gonna throw it! - Grizz, no! - Hyah! [Thud.]
Butts.
[Barking.]
[All scream.]
[Yelps.]
Ha ha! What now, Chester? Not so scary, are you? Um good dog.
[Screaming.]
[Barking.]
Curse the hubris of man! Ahhh! That's what you get, Grizz.
No! I hate being in trees! You are literally the worst dog! Just you and me now.
Wha Huh? No! Pollen! [Sneezing.]
No, leave me alone! [Music.]
[Both screaming.]
I'm too young to be eaten! [Wood cracking.]
[Both scream.]
Goodbye, cruel world.
- Help, please! - Help! Help! [Music.]
No! No! No! What on Earth? Bro, you came back for us.
Thank you.
Listen, um, I'm sorry for the stuff I said earlier.
No time, Grizz.
Look out! - Fly, bird.
Fly higher! - Bird, be smart.
- Come on! - Bird, be strong! Ahh! We're not gonna make it over.
Ahh, ahh! What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? [Sneezes.]
Yes, Panda! [Thud.]
[Crow caws.]
- We're alive! - We did it! - Hooray! - Yay! Listen, guys, I'm sorry for fighting.
We shouldn't let a dumb old job get in the way of us being bros.
You're right, Grizz.
Let's never fight again.
- Agreed.
- Hey, boys.
Wow! Just wow.
That was pretty spectacular.
But no one delivered the final paper, so there's no winner.
With all due respect, I think we're gonna retire from the paper-boy biz.
We thought having a job and stuff would be good for us, but it ended up turning us against each other.
I think maybe we're not cut out for this whole "working" thing.
Ah, that's too bad.
But you're still kids! You'll figure stuff out.
I'm sure of it.
Now come on.
The Hawaii boys are throwing a luau to celebrate coming home.
[Laughter.]
[Music.]
[Laughter.]
Whoa!
[Knock on door.]
Jerry: Coming, coming.
Yes, hello? Grizzly: Uh, down here, sir! Howdy! We hear you have a room for rent.
Well, say hello to your new tenants.
We're housebroken.
And I promise we only smell a little bit.
[Clears throat.]
Do you have any references? Oh, man, do we! [As Arnold Schwarzenegger.]
Go! Get to the "choppah"! Do you want more? We got plenty.
Uh, no.
Do you have a good credit score? Panda, you once got a high score on Bump 'n Jump at that arcade, right? Oh, yeah.
How's a score of 20,000? Ugh! Do you even have a job? J-Job W-What's that, again? I think it's, like, working? Oh, golly, no.
That's, like, a thing old people do.
What do you think I'm running here, an orphanage? You three ought to get your lives together.
But we're like 2.
We barely even started our lives.
- Ahh! - No, no, wait, hang on! - Please! - Get Get out of here! Go! We can pay in the joyous laughter of children! Chester, chase these hooligans away.
Chester? [Growling.]
Uh, nice doggy.
[Barking, bears scream.]
[Music.]
Man, that was pretty much the worst, huh? Do you think he had a point, though? You know, about the whole getting a job thing? Hmm, I guess we could try being productive members of society for once.
But where does a kid get a job? [Bell dings.]
Huh? [Music.]
[Zing!.]
Oh, yeah! What, what! 'Sup, tater tots? - Cool! - Cool! Did I hear you were looking for a job? 'Cause I can totally hook you guys up.
Oh, my gosh, really? Yes, please! - What's the job? Is it hard? - You'll be paperboys like me.
And nah, it's super easy.
Check it.
Oh, thank you, Joey! No prob, Mrs.
P.
Your wig is looking nice.
It's my real hair, but thank you.
That's all there is to it.
Sweet gig, right? You guys down? Hey-o.
- Hi, Joey.
- Hey, Joe.
I brought some new potential paperboys.
- Howdy do? - Hey-yo, my dude.
- What's poppin'? - Hey.
What's happening? Whoa, this looks rad! What's this? Did I hear "potential new paperboys"? That's us! That's us! That's us! I'm Mr.
Howard.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Now, let's have a look at you boys.
Mr.
Howard: A fine build, an air of youthful energy, a fresh sparkle in the eyes.
Now, I usually don't give out jobs so easily.
After all, the paperboy biz is very competitive.
But some of my boys did just move to Hawaii.
Heck, welcome to the team, boys.
- Whoa! - Do we get cool bikes and stuff? Uh, I'm afraid we don't have any spare bikes.
But you do get these cool paper-holding satchels.
Wear them with pride, boys.
So, you ready to start? - Yeah, let's do this! - Whoo! That's the spirit.
Alright, boys.
We're working stiffs now.
Let's go out there and do this! Ah.
[Music.]
[Beeps.]
Target acquired.
Ha! Hmm.
[Music.]
Huh? Hmm.
Nyeh! [Grunting.]
[Panting.]
Huh? Hmm.
[Whistling.]
[Music continues.]
[Crow caws.]
[Crow caws.]
[Crow caws.]
[Rock music.]
[Car alarm blaring.]
[Groans.]
[Grunts.]
[Crying.]
Oh, Jeremy! Sorry, ma'am! Wait, no! [Alarm blaring.]
No, no, no, no.
No! No! How? Ahh! Aw, cute.
Wha Uh Excuse me, kitty.
[Sneezes.]
Please, not too close.
Please, leave me alone.
[Sneezing.]
Oh, hello, dearie.
Don't mind the kitties.
They just like to play.
Help me.
[Music.]
[Crow caws.]
[Crows cawing.]
[Music.]
If Steve takes Pine, Eddy takes Main We're W-We're back.
Working is hard.
Ohh, you boys look real crunchy.
Well, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, you did wonderfully.
A real bang-up job out there.
Come on over and collect your pay, boys.
Nice! Our very first paycheck! Jobs rule! Whoo-hoo! [Chuckles.]
Well, now for the bad news.
You know how I said some of my boys moved to Hawaii? Well, turns out, they were just on vacation.
Aloha, dude.
Anyway, they wanted their jobs back, so that means only one of you can keep working.
So, who is it gonna be? Oh! Um, well, it should probably be me, right? You know, the oldest, most responsible one.
Ha.
Don't be silly, Grizz.
I'm way more responsible than you.
[Chuckles.]
Come on, Panda, you can't do this.
Look at you.
Wouldn't want your allergies - to get in the way, huh, baby bro? - Hey, back off, Grizz.
You're way too weak to be a real paperboy anyway.
Now check out these guns.
Hey, stop showing off! - Hey, w-wait, Grizz.
- Hey! Paperboys: Fight, fight, fight! Don't fight, don't fight, don't fight! Truce.
Armistice.
Cut it out! Yeesh.
There's got to be a civil way to solve this.
- Yeah? Like what? - Um, like Oh! I have an idea.
Joey: Extra, extra! Read all about it! Paperboy competition today! Mr.
Howard: Okay, boys.
The rules are simple.
The first to deliver their papers to all the houses in this cul-de-sac gets the job and the glory.
Now, I don't want to see any horseplay or messing with each other out there.
Oh, I'm sure Pan Pan will mess himself up just fine without me.
Well, slow and steady wins the race, Grizz.
Mr.
Howard: Okay, save it for the race, boys.
Now, on your marks [Music.]
get set and go! [Horn blows.]
You're going down, bros! Ha! [Music.]
Oh! You see that? That's that real stuff! Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.
Aa-aa-choo! - Oh! Who's weak now? Hm! - Gross, dude.
- Wha - Hmph! Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe what I'm seeing! Competition has turned these bears into paper-chucking machines.
Unbelievable! Uh, not super great, but still very exciting.
They're coming upon the final house, and it's looking close.
Wait! They've stopped? The house of Chester.
[Music.]
I'm gonna throw it! - Grizz, no! - Hyah! [Thud.]
Butts.
[Barking.]
[All scream.]
[Yelps.]
Ha ha! What now, Chester? Not so scary, are you? Um good dog.
[Screaming.]
[Barking.]
Curse the hubris of man! Ahhh! That's what you get, Grizz.
No! I hate being in trees! You are literally the worst dog! Just you and me now.
Wha Huh? No! Pollen! [Sneezing.]
No, leave me alone! [Music.]
[Both screaming.]
I'm too young to be eaten! [Wood cracking.]
[Both scream.]
Goodbye, cruel world.
- Help, please! - Help! Help! [Music.]
No! No! No! What on Earth? Bro, you came back for us.
Thank you.
Listen, um, I'm sorry for the stuff I said earlier.
No time, Grizz.
Look out! - Fly, bird.
Fly higher! - Bird, be smart.
- Come on! - Bird, be strong! Ahh! We're not gonna make it over.
Ahh, ahh! What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? [Sneezes.]
Yes, Panda! [Thud.]
[Crow caws.]
- We're alive! - We did it! - Hooray! - Yay! Listen, guys, I'm sorry for fighting.
We shouldn't let a dumb old job get in the way of us being bros.
You're right, Grizz.
Let's never fight again.
- Agreed.
- Hey, boys.
Wow! Just wow.
That was pretty spectacular.
But no one delivered the final paper, so there's no winner.
With all due respect, I think we're gonna retire from the paper-boy biz.
We thought having a job and stuff would be good for us, but it ended up turning us against each other.
I think maybe we're not cut out for this whole "working" thing.
Ah, that's too bad.
But you're still kids! You'll figure stuff out.
I'm sure of it.
Now come on.
The Hawaii boys are throwing a luau to celebrate coming home.
[Laughter.]
[Music.]
[Laughter.]
Whoa!