Wynonna Earp (2016) s04e12 Episode Script

1
Previously on "Wynonna Earp".
There's always a crisis.
I just want him to be happy.
I've lost my love.
Myjob.
I know your code. One I never
should've broken 'cause of what it did to us.
- My reflection.
- You de-vamped him?
I want a fresh start.
I've been meaning to
introduce myself. I'm Nicole.
- I-I owe you.
- Buy me that cup of coffee?
I mean it.
I swear
to be bound to the Ghost River
Triangle for all of my days.
Everything I love
is already here.
You gonna marry me
or what?
Yes, please.
Let's have ourselves
a wedding!
(slow 1950s style rock music)
(woman whimpers)
(she breathes heavily)
(groaning)
What what did you do?
(screaming)
(squelching)
(soft thud)
(gasping)
(music stops)
(bells ringing)
(Waverly): It's here!
And just in time!
(inhaling): Oh!
My wedding dress!
- You're getting married!
- I'm getting married!
(both squeal)
(theme music)
Cause I gave you
all I got to give ♪
I know that ain't no way
to live ♪
I told that devil
to take you back ♪
I told that devil
to take you back ♪
(pop music)
(Wynonna): I knew it.
It's buttercream!
Nicole? Does this look like
buttercream to you?
Which answer's gonna
make you less crazy?
- The bride-to-be is vegan.
- Yep.
(Wynonna): Buttercream's
not vegan.
Nope.
Ergo, Waverly can't eat
her own wedding cake!
Meh. What if
we just didn't tell her?
This isn't
a secret wife, Nicole.
This is the
matrimonial icing!
(sighing): Wynonna, I know
that you want everything to be
perfect but it's not gonna be.
That's okay!
That's our brand!
Not today!
- Look, this is us.
- Trying to pull off a wedding.
At the Homestead.
Both of Waverly's
dads died here.
Save something for
the wedding toast.
(Waverly): Hi!
- Hey, Waverly Earp.
- I can't wait to be your wife.
Aw!
I can't wait
to be your wife.
Nicole was gonna serve you
buttercream.
- Huh?
- I was joking.
It's basically hamburger.
There's vegan cupcakes
in the freezer.
I made 'em yesterday.
Just in case.
It'll be fine, sis.
Nicole gonna wear her hair
like that?
(Nedley): You all packed?
I got my clothes, my pillow.
Have you thought
about your lures?
- Nasty boys for pike
- and jig spin for walleye.
Ah, we don't waste time on
walleye on my boat, little lady.
Honestly, I'll be happy
if I land a minnow.
God, fishing!
You know I'm glad
you're excited.
The only thing Chrissy
ever caught was mono.
(blowing out air loudly)
(magical chiming)
(Wynonna): Oh, my God.
It's beautiful.
What would it even feel like?
(creaking and loud thud)
It's summer, who needs doors?
(suspenseful music)
(frantically): Grab the crystal
water glasses off the cart
before they break.
Forget the glasses,
water the arbour!
(grunting): That's definitely
not vegan!
(loud knock)
(panting)
(coat rustling)
(magical, soft music)
Little help?
I just saw this dress,
hanging in the barn,
and it was just the
one beautiful, perfect thing.
- And I
- You had to put it on.
Your sister's wedding dress.
On the day of her wedding.
And now I can't get it off.
Here's something to
help us brainstorm.
(Wynonna sighs)
Mmm, okay.
Wedding speech not going well?
(Doc): Oh.
Sometimes it is hard to
find the right words.
If we don't get me
out of this dress,
there's not gonna be a wedding.
Getting you out of your
clothes used to be my specialty.
Nary a zipper to be found.
I could cut along
this seam.
Sew it back together and
no one would be the wiser.
You can sew?
Wynonna, some of my clothes
are 150 years old.
You look different.
- These threads are enchanted.
- I cannot cut through.
(loud sob)
(car horn honking)
- Oh, my God.
- Someone's coming.
Close the door!
Waverly!
(Waverly): Hey!
Shouldn't you be getting
ready for your nuptials?
Just running a few
little errands first.
So to what do I owe
the honour of this visit?
(grunting softly)
Wyatt Earp's saddle.
It took a while
to get it properly restored
but I should've given it
to you years ago.
John Henry Holliday.
You are a good person.
Not perfect, but trying,
every day to be better.
And that makes you the
best man I have ever known.
And so
I'd like you to be mine.
Today.
My best man!
What about Wynonna?
Oh. She's standing up
for Nicole.
Apparently, they're
best friends now.
I do not know what I did
to deserve your kindness.
Just say yes?
I still have so much to do.
It would be myjoy
to stand by your side
and watch you marry
that formidable woman.
Yay!
Okay. Then I'll see you
in a couple of hours.
Can you believe
I'm getting married?
Okay.
Oops!
(Wynonna): Psssst!
Ask her where she got the dress!
Oh, uh, Waverly!
Yeah?
Where did you buy
your wedding gown?
Jeremy and I are looking to
procure matching cummerbunds.
Aw! I got it at this adorably
quaint little boutique
down on
Hogback Road.
Did she say quaint or taint?
She does love her vintage.
(clinking)
(bird honking loudly)
You're so goth.
We get it.
(Doc sniffs)
- Boo.
- (Wynonna shrieks)
Oh.
I see my gown found you.
Yeah, my pee found your gown.
What are you supposed to be?
Some kind of knight
in shining armour?
Or a cowboy?
- I am a gunslinger-
- Okay, nobody cares.
But you
(Wynonna): Hm?
You are the perfect mark.
I am nobody's mark.
I am Wynonna goddamn Earp.
And you are gonna
get this gown off me
before he blows your brains
all over this bleak freak
boutique.
The dress will do its work,
regardless of what you do to me.
Alright, just give
us the evil spiel.
(ding-ding!)
(singing in operatic voice)
When the wedding bells chime,
the slaughter will begin.
At the hand
- What is happening?
- of the one.
(Doc): Slaughter?
who wears it.
What I think she's saying is
I'm gonna kill everyone
at the wedding.
Well, bing bang boom,
we won't ring the bells.
Don't be so literal.
It's gauche.
Oh, don't you gauche me
out of this. Now.
Oh! Only a Bombyx mori can
undo the thread it has spun.
- Bombyx mori.
- Silkworm.
Yeah, you know the one that
has the same pattern on its back
as that one.
We're kinda on the clock here
I'm just gonna shoot you,
see how it goes.
Killing me won't stop
the coming bloodshed.
So how do we kill the dress?
You can't.
Not without killing
the person who wears it.
- Alrighty then.
- (sighing)
Well, I guess we gotta find
some bugs and save a wedding.
Bring it on.
I found the cake topper.
(door opens)
Oh.
(door closes)
- Oh.
- Mmm. Lesbian wedding.
Uh, guys?
I misted this before I left!
Why is everything frigged up?
Yeah. Things have kinda
gotten Earped?
Yeah. Yeah,
it appears that way.
- Well, who
- or what did this?
Don't worry, brides.
I will get to the
bottom of this.
Didn't the barn used
to have a door? Look!
(sighing)
Baby! Of all the days!
You really thought we wouldn't
know, didn't you?
Uh. What?
- Hm. Damon, really?
- Isn't that a little on the nose?
What nose?
(sighing): Oh my gosh.
This is a wedding. A day when
we celebrate love, not
this.
Wow.
Wynonna?
- Not here.
- (Waverly gasps)
Neither is my wedding dress!
Wait. I don't even like
that dress.
And everything wedding-y
is trashed.
(both): Haunted wedding dress!
(whispering): I know
your secret.
It's not a secret, man.
(chuckling): Okay, great.
Can we just have one day
where your kind isn't being
shoved in our faces?
My kind?
- Yeah.
- Damon.
So, you'd prefer no gays
at the gay wedding
which you of all people
are officiating.
Oh, my God, okay, let me guess,
you were born that way?
Yeah, demon. Wait.
Sorry, gay demon?
Demon? Alright, I'm gonna
go away from you
while you sort out whatever
it is you need sorting out.
And you don't get any pinwheels.
Hey! The second I saw you,
I had a feeling in my crotch!
- For Waverly!
- Okay.
Ooh, mama!
Did you get it?
Well, if by "it"
you mean E. Coli, then probably.
You know,
it is entirely possible
that there are no silkworms in
the entire Ghost River Triangle.
Where did you, uh
Wynonna?
Are you serious
with this shit?
- The fog is gone.
- Amon is gone.
BBD is no longer a threat and
I'm back to being just a man.
Just?
You're skipping town
and you were gonna tell me
in a fucking note?
My Purgatory
historical kills file
actually has a buttload
of weddings
that ended
in bloodshed.
When your town has forty times
the murder rate of
a normal borough,
you don't always
connect the dots.
Here's another one. 1968.
The bride axed her groom to
death on the foot of the chapel
- right after she'd
- Just axed her family to death?
Then killed herself?
- Slit her throat.
- With the axe!
Wanna see her
beautiful wedding dress?
Ooh, wait, don't tell me.
Vintage lace, inlaid
sapphires in a heart?
Bingo.
We know the dress
is haunted,
so it's gotta be the
dressmaker, right?
There's an old wedding
announcement. Check this out.
"The bride will be wearing
a creation
from Cursey's Bridal Boutique,
designed by
Ms. Brigitte Hogback.
That's definitely the weirdo
who sold me the dress.
Also!
First wedding massacre, 1922.
Ah! A Miss H,
left at the altar,
killed her guests.
Well, that is a terrible way
to be dunked on.
Awful enough to want
to destroy every future wedding
in town?
Baby, if you left me at
the altar, I would fuck shit up.
I might kill Nedley.
- Nicole!
- I'm kidding.
I think.
What else would you do
to keep me around?
- You cut and run on Wyatt.
- You cut and run on Kate.
God, her shit's still
in your car!
That is your shit.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised
you'd cut and run on me too.
On us.
Look, if you could park your
temper for even one minute
Why, so you can explain?
We count on you. And you were
just gonna drive off in Charlene
and go find a new family?
You think so little of me?
Yeah, well, that's the thing
with you, right?
You get us all to believe
you can be better.
That you're better.
And you're just a coward.
A coward would stay.
Instead of admitting it is
high time to let go of the past
and get to living.
And as far as dastards go,
you are one to talk.
What is that supposed
to mean?
In war, you are
the truest hero
I ever fought
alongside of.
But in love, Wynonna,
you are a coward.
You don't know me.
I know you as sure
as I know my own heart.
And I wasn't just gonna
leave a letter.
I was just trying to find
the right words to say.
Prove me wrong.
Come with me.
We don't have time
for this shit.
If we don't get me out of
this dress,
it'll be
"here comes the scythe".
So that's that?
Shut up and help me
paint some grubs.
Hello?
- (Waverly): Oh! Crap!
- Oh, my God!
Guys, for the last time,
nobody wants to see this.
Sorry, Jer.
We figured out what happened
and then we sort of
The spirit took us.
- Oh, okay.
- So you know about the-
(both): Haunted wedding dress?
- Wh Uh, no.
- You mean the demon caterer?
Uh, no.
Check the murder-board.
Yeah, but if you're talking
about our caterer,
his name's Damon
and he's pretty great.
Super hot, right?
- Yes. Definitely hot.
- And gay!
Went that well, huh?
Ugh, no!
Sorry, Jerbear!
(sighing contentedly)
I gotta go.
- Hey, baby.
- Heads up.
You sure you got this?
I'll make sand out
of that witch!
Nice one.
Bye.
(Nicole): Oof!
Okay.
Are you sure he's not
a demon?
- I gotta fix my hair.
- Again.
They're in there?
Your cup runneth over
with silkworms.
But how? They're not endemic
to the region.
- Amazon Prime same day, baby.
- Now de-dressify me.
Oh! Common earthworms.
(chuckling): Did you even try?
Have you painted a bug before?
If this is your best effort,
I'd rather not see what's next.
Now, listen here, ma'am.
Yes, that is a tumbler of grubs
covered in nail polish.
But it is symbolic of
the great effort
that Wynonna puts into
keeping her family safe.
- Hm.
- That's actually kinda sweet.
What you have here
is a cup of love.
Scratch that.
Well, love is not enough
to stop your descent
into a murderous fever.
Your failure has
sealed your fate.
Failure is never irreversible
and I'm living proof of that.
And if I have to paint every
damn maggot on the continent
to give Waverly the perfect
wedding day, then I will.
Sorry, um, whose
wedding day is this?
(door opening)
Hi, guys!
(both women screaming
indistinctly)
Wynonna!
What is she doing here?
Do you think she saw
the dress?
(screaming)
That was such a rush!
That was remarkably easy.
I cannot believe that I jumped
into a swamp
when we could have
just done that.
I was bested by regular silk
and a standard removal spell.
So can I shoot her now?
- No!
- I agree with the new girl.
No killing on my wedding day.
It's your wedding day?
Yeah.
Are you two lesbians?
- Bisexual.
- No, we are sisters.
Oh, and you're getting married?
(both): No!
(sighing): She is marrying
the Sheriff, who is a lesbian.
Then why was the aggressive
one in your wedding dress?
You know what,
great question, silk witch.
- Because it was a magic dress.
- Tell 'em, Hogback.
No, the dress does not choose.
The chooser chooses.
Throw me a frickin' bone, man.
As long as the chooser
is in love.
Really?
I saw the dress hanging in
the barn and I know it's stupid.
But just for a minute,
I wanted to pretend I could be
that kind of normal
and have
that kind of love.
- We have a
- complicated history.
Okay. You want to know
complicated?
This woman was left
at the altar.
I'm so sorry that happened
to you, Brigitte.
Everyone deserves love.
(Wynonna): Mama's dress.
Feels right,
with a few
Waverly modifications.
Hm.
Do you think Mama
would approve?
I think Mama's banging
her way through Turkey.
Postcards have gotten
real graphic.
(Waverly): Hm.
(Wynonna exhales)
- Wynonna?
- Hm?
What is it?
Oh, you know.
My baby sister's
getting married.
(knocking at the door,
door opens)
Oh, hi.
Wow. I never knew a woman
could look so beautiful in a suit.
Took some work to get the
barn sex out of my hair, but
Hm.
Sorry.
Turns out, I'm a little nervous.
I know I'm not supposed to
interrupt the bride
while she's getting ready
but thought this might
come in handy.
Ah.
Thank you.
But I need one more thing.
Okay.
Will you walk me down the aisle?
It would just really help
if you would walk beside me,
like you've been doing
for most of my life.
(soft music)
It would be my honour.
Now, pull it together, Sheriff.
Let's go get you hitched.
even when we're at our worst ♪
Every up and every down ♪
Made us who we are now ♪
Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
Any time and any place ♪
You say that you need me ♪
I'll be there soon as I can ♪
There's nothing I won't sacrifice ♪
To lift the burden while you fly ♪
I just wanna see you safely land ♪
When you're afraid ♪
And you've lost all hope ♪
I'll lead the way ♪
I will walk you home ♪
You're the best of us,
baby girl.
I love you too, sis.
the end of time ♪
I'll take your hand ♪
You look so beautiful.
Haught as hell.
Please be seated.
I won't let go ♪
We are here today
to celebrate the union of
Waverly Earp and
Nicole Haught.
Two elements,
maybe working in a bar or
small town police department,
just minding their own business
when one day, boom:
they connect.
And if the right amount of
magic is involved,
they become something stronger
than they were before.
They become love.
Please hold hands
and say your vows.
(Jeremy, sighing): Nicole?
My beautiful angel.
You are the smartest,
and the kindest person I know.
I promise to stand by your side
for all of life's adventures,
and always pack
a safety harness, just in case.
(giggling)
I promise to hold your hand
when the firelight grows dim
and that my love never will.
I love you.
(sighing)
Waverly?
Nicole,
I thank goodness every day
for that bullet-proof vest.
Without it,
I would never have known
a love so strong
and mighty.
I promise to love you.
I promise to stand beside you,
as equals,
for the rest of our lives.
Waverly, do you promise
to love and respect Nicole
for as long as
you both shall live?
I do.
Nicole, do you promise
to love and respect Waverly
for as long as
you both shall live?
I do.
Then I now pronounce you,
wife and wife.
You may now kiss the bride.
Opa!
(all): Opa!
Hey!
Whoo!
Um. I've never been to
a wedding before.
I hadn't done a lot of things,
before I met you
heroes.
And now I feel like
I can do anything.
But this is about
Waverly and Nicole.
I didn't know what
to get you guys,
so I got you this.
(soft piano music)
I'm wide-eyed and
it's midnight ♪
I can't sleep and
it don't feel right ♪
I'm caught in the shadows
of your limelight ♪
I'm wide-eyed and
it's midnight ♪
And all I see is you ♪
All the heads keep turning ♪
In my mind like parachutes ♪
And my heart's still burning
over you ♪
Oh oh oh oh ♪
Oh oh oh oh ♪
Oh oh oh oh ♪
(clearing throat)
Nicole Rayleigh Haught.
There's no way that's
your middle name.
(chuckling)
My ginger bitch!
Wynonna.
Best friend.
I'm so glad you finally found
someone worthy of you.
(Nicole exhales briskly)
Cheers.
I'm curious and I have to tell you ♪
Jeez!
Look, former invisible
monster teen,
- wear a bell, will ya?
- Yeah.
- Um, so
- Maybe?
Wow.
You two work out this whole
presentation ahead of time?
Please, Randy?
(sighing): Okay. He can come.
But
there's only gonna be
one kind of tent we're pitching
on this trip.
- Yes, sir.
- So embarrassing.
No I'll never get over you ♪
(Waverly sighs)
(Doc speaking indistinctly)
No I'll never get over you ♪
(Nedley and Jeremy
conversing indistinctly)
(door closes)
No I'll never get over you ♪
Oh oh oh oh ♪
Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
And all the heads
keep turning ♪
In my mind like parachutes ♪
My heart's still burning
over you ♪
Hey, uh, Damon.
(he snaps his fingers)
I just wanna apologize.
For trying to out me?
Or for accusing me of being
some sort of demon?
Yes?
Okay, well, grab the other
side of this.
I didn't say stop?
Look, I wasn't gonna out you.
I'm already out.
Oh, cool, same.
I'm in the same out-ness
as you.
(Damon chuckles)
You share the same terrible,
demonic secret?
Yeah. Enthusiastically.
Well, obviously something
was weird here today,
but apology accepted.
- I'm Bunny Loblaw's nephew.
- Ah.
My forgiveness muscle
is taut as hell.
(chuckles)
Cool, well, uh,
it's great to meet you.
Gay you later.
- Wait.
- Yeah?
What was that thing about you
feeling something in your crotch
when you saw me?
No, uh, no,
that's like a long story.
No, not that long.
Just like average size.
(cell phone ringtone)
Relax.
You had me at enthusiastic.
(cell phone ringtone)
Why don't we start over?
Drinks?
Tomorrow night?
Uh.
You should probably
actually get that.
Yeah, sorry.
Hello, what is so
goddamn important?
- (woman): Deputy Chief Chetri?
- No, it's Agent Chetri.
Not anymore.
Black Badge needs you back
and running the whole
Ghost River Triangle.
First thing Monday.
I um, I can't do Monday.
I have a date.
Well, congratulations.
On all of it.
See you Tuesday.
Alright, we get it.
You're a good poker player.
Starting to think
you're not bluffing.
- I have to move forward.
- My spurs are covered in dust.
Besides, I wanna see the
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
What do you w do
you want me to beg?
That is beneath us both.
Maybe a little.
I told you a lie when
we first met.
All those years
at the bottom of a well.
Yes, vengeance
drove my thinking.
Kept me alive,
and gave me a purpose.
But when it was dark
and I was scared,
and I have been scared
for a long time, Wynonna,
I mostly thought about love.
They say life is short.
But it is long.
And it is lonely.
So if you manage to find a group
of souls that will tolerate you
and elevate you
Oh, and one
and one who will especially
love you
Well, that is all it's about.
That is what the fight
is really for.
Please.
I can't leave her.
Then you do know
of what I speak.
I keep telling you
we're the same.
You are without a doubt
the best Earp
that I have ever
had the privilege of calling
friend.
(soft music)
Doc!
I'm sorry.
For all the ways I hurt you.
We only ever hurt ourselves,
Wynonna.
I wouldn't have changed a note.
(engine starting)
A-a-and you said no.
I did.
To Doc Holliday.
The Doc Holliday.
Was he not wearing his hat?
He has changed.
But also done some, like,
terrible things.
- (Rachel): So have you. To Doc.
- Yes, I know,
but I don't
have to sleep with him.
(Rachel and Jeremy): Have to?
- Guys, it's for the best.
- (Nicole): Yeah.
- You two have always been
- Extremely hot.
Fraught.
Toxic?
My fourth favourite
Britney song.
What are we talking about?
Whoa! You better hurry,
you're gonna miss him!
Wynonna turned Doc down.
Doc Holliday?
I am the Earp heir.
I'm the only one who
can wield Peacemaker.
I can't leave the
Ghost River Triangle.
Uh, the fuck you can't.
Ow! Waverly!
Don't you "ow" me.
And you lot.
Letting Wynonna mess up
her life, again, for us!
Fuck you, fuck you,
fuck you, fuck you!
Not you, sweetie pie.
- Waverly.
- Nope!
Ow, ow, ow, okay, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
What do we got here?
What are you doing?
- Okay.
- What're you in my nick-nacks for?
How do you have like 72 bras
and one pair of panties?
Waverly. I am not going.
Wynonna Earp.
Do you want to go?
- I want to protect you.
- (Waverly scoffs)
- No.
- Do not put this on me.
Waverly
(sighing): You need to
stop thinking
you're the only person
who can handle this place.
You need to stop acting
like you're alone!
And you need to stop
punishing yourself.
- Okay.
- But, Peacemaker.
- And
- Put them on.
- The whole
- the whole thing.
Nicole is the Angel's Shield
and the Sheriff.
She's gonna do things
differently this time.
Humans, demons
we all have to figure out a way
to live here together.
Oh, and Jeremy's the new
Deputy Director
of Black Badge now!
(softly): Wow. Go Jer.
We'll be okay, Wynonna.
Henry and I are not
always good together.
Yeah, it's been messy.
But you love him.
Oh, fuck, I do.
That cowboy became
a cow-man for you.
He's tried.
Now it's your turn,
Wynonna.
My biggest fear
used to be that you'd
(voice trembling):that
you'd never come back.
That you'd never get
to know the real me.
But now I know
you always will, Wynonna.
Not only because you're
the fucking hero we need.
When we need you.
But because this is your home.
It says so, right out there
on the mailbox.
You're my whole heart,
Waverly.
We have cell phones,
ding dong.
- Yeah! Yes!
- (cheering)
Okay, I can give you
a police escort!
Well, I'm more worried about
(truck rumbling)
Perfect timing, old girl.
No!
Jeremy! Less screaming!
- Nedley! Get the jumper cables!
- Alright!
(Rachel): They're in the cellar,
let's go! Let's go!
- Oh no, oh my gosh!
- He's almost at the border!
You installed a tracker
on Doc's phone?
Yeah! I didn't want to miss
when he posts his first TikTok.
Plus I worry that
he drives too fast.
Can't leave without this!
Nicole, it's like
85 degrees out.
- Fashion first, bitch.
- Oh, my God.
He is going
60 in a 55 zone.
I'll never catch up.
Unless I take the back roads.
Cos the beat just dropped ♪
Till tomorrow 'cause we never stop ♪
Come on, shake a little,
till something works ♪
Cos we've always
gotta stay on top ♪
Woo hoo ♪
Come on now ♪
Gotta stay on top now ♪
Come on ♪
You got that juice ♪
Baby move ahead,
show 'em how you get loose ♪
You've made your way ♪
Working 9 to 5 like every day ♪
(shots echoing)
(tires screeching)
You always gotta stay on top ♪
- Did you just shoot Charlene?
- Yeah. Twice.
Did you really think you
could leave without me?
(softly): No.
I love you, Doc.
I love you in that bottom
of a deep dark well way.
(whispering): I love your face
and your butt
and your drawl
and your heart.
And I love the way
you love my sister.
And I love the way you love me.
I do love you.
Well, that's good.
(chuckling)
You killed my car.
I'm not driving to Cleveland
in that piece of shit.
But you're coming with me?
Read the room, dingus.
(soft rock music)
It's been a long time since
I travelled light.
(engine turns and rumbles)
(beer cracks open)
That's quite the itinerary.
Think we have time for a pitstop
in Miracles, Montana?
What is in Miracles, Montana?
(soft music)
Do you think she'll
recognize us?
Yeah, I'd take that bet.
I'm all in.
(dramatic music)
(motorcycle rumbles)
(loon call)
(Waverly): Hm.
She'll be back.
I know.
Do you wish it was us?
Going on a big adventure,
travelling the world on
a sexy chic honeymoon?
No. Hard pass.
I'm where I've always
wanted to be.
Home.
With my wife.
(contented sigh)
Home.
(soft music)