Gintama (2005) s04e13 Episode Script
The Black Ships Even Make A Scene When They Sink
As you all know, Toshi was born after I laid my hands on the demonic sword.
A Toshiro Hijikata with his pathetic otaku characteristics amplified by the curse.
Yes, he isn't a different personality I created.
He's the real Toshiro Hijikata.
I chose to face him head-on and talk.
"I don't want to disappear without accomplishing anything.
I want to leave proof of my existence.
" That's what he said.
This is Toshi's dream.
My way of paying tribute to the departure of the one I gave birth to.
I will master the way of the otaku! I will become the greatest otaku! I will unite all otaku and become the king of otaku! And etch proof of his existence into this worldinto people's hearts! Die! ["The Black Ships Even Make a Scene When They Sink".]
Spectacular! Mr.
Shimura has made peace between KIM the bass player and KIYOSHI the drum player! Their session has doubled the attack points of Mr.
Toshi's strong attack and reflected it back at him! Now! Now is my chance! Go! Mr.
Toshi's life points are dropping fast! Is this the end?! I'm losing I'll lose at this rate That's enough That's enough, Toshiro Let me handle the rest.
Let me finish this! Y-You That's Wow! What's going on?! The energy reflected by Mr.
Shimura is expanding before Mr.
Toshi! Expanding larger and larger! The light is not fading! This is This card is! Dizon.
A sudden announcement in the middle of a concert that she's pregnant and getting married.
[Note: Refers to idol Leah Dizon who made such an announcement during her concert.
.]
The worst possible card which negates all audience, enemy, and ally cards.
Please don't ditch me.
Th-This is! A draw! Both sides collapsed in the ring without budging! Shinpachi! Toshi! Vice-Chief! What a grand battle! The final contest has ended without an overall victor! Their desire to win and love for Otsu-chan could not be fully measured in such a match?! How do we call this contest?! Otsu-chan, what do we do?! There is no need To call this contest.
Because this contest isn't over yet! Th-They're up! Both have stood up with zero life points! Yet they still continue to fight! Shinpachi! Toshi! Zero life points! They're both beat up! Neither side has any cards in their hand! Yet they still stand! Yet they still! Continue to fight! They're engaged in a literal blow by blow match! Will they only stop fighting when their lives have burned out?! Stop! Please! Stop already! It's too dangerous to continue! Why do you have to go so far for the title of official fan club?! Enough already! I'll make both teams my official fan clubs! So stop! Please! Somebody stop them! They're going to kill each other at this rate! It's useless.
It's useless now.
Nobody can stop them.
They are no longer fighting to become the official fan club.
It's funny.
I'm in so much pain It hurts so much Yet, this is the first time I've ever felt so alive! Hijikata-san No Toshi! So you noticed, Mr.
Shinpachi? I wouldn't be standing here if I'd taken a straight punch from Hijikata-san.
Why? If you had let Hijikata-san handle this, you could have easily won.
Why now?! I could ask the same of you, Mr.
Shinpachi.
After hearing Otsu-chan's voice, why do you still not lower your fists? Why do you still fight?! Proof of my existence That is what I have sought with Toshiro I mastered the way of the otaku But I suppose that I never really cared about becoming lord over all otaku.
I may have just wanted to completely lose myself in one task.
I may have just wanted to fight with everything I had, alongside my friends.
With my rivals Mr.
Shinpachi, you're the same.
There is no need for any proof.
There is no need to create any.
We just have to live every second to the fullest! And the traces of the path we lived will be burned into the ground That will serve as proof of our existence! Both sides have simultaneously been knocked out! Toshi, that's crazy After coming so far to be rid of him, why now? It doesn't matter.
Huh? It no longer matters.
Get up! Get up, Toshi! It doesn't matter if you win or lose! Stand up and fight to the very end! Fight until you're completely burned out so your memory remains engraved in our minds! Get up! Toshi! Stand up! Patsuan! What are you burning out for?! You're going to let this end in such a small flame?! Stupid four-eyes! You won't be able to rest in peace if your body's still warm! Stand up! Patsuan! Burn everything up! Send that bastard to the next world! Th-This is Yeah! Stand up! Don't give up! Do your best, guys! Both sides are struggling to their feet! And! The entire arena is cheering them on! As their battle transcends victory and interests, they are now being cheered on by both enemies and allies! I'll also cheer for them! Stand up, you two! This show's almost out of time! Mr.
Shinpachi.
I'm glad to have met a rival like you in the end.
Thank you, Mr.
Shinpachi.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you Toshiro Such a strange feeling To see someone paying their respects to their own picture.
Hey, Yamazaki.
I told you to change the picture.
This picture was when I was pretending to be Toshi.
Switch it to a picture of the real Toshi.
Does it even matter? You look the same.
Don't give me that crap.
What if he comes back again? Take good care of the flowers, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you hear anything about what happened to them afterwards? The fan club? Thanks to a certain someone, they're still scraping by with a few people.
Though former members are starting to return.
What do you mean? They didn't become the official fan club? The members should have rushed back in droves when they became official.
Well They said something about how there's nothing official or unofficial about cheering for Otsu-chan and gave up the title.
Hey! Louder! Don't be wusses! You need more guts if you're gonna love Otsu-chan! And they even left this behind.
That bastard's trying to be all cool! Where are you going, Vice-Chief? Isn't it obvious?! I refuse to stay in their debt! I'll personally return the former members to the fan club! Are you going to pretend to be Toshi and gather otaku again? It'll be hard to pay back this debt.
Still, this gives us a perfect picture to use.
The eternally missing member.
You can brag all you want in the afterlife.
Toshi.
Tsu Terakado's new single! Your Granny's Wearing Your Basketball Shoes! Selling great in the anime! Gin-san, it's terrible! Some impostors have shown up using the Odd Jobs name! What's that?! That's so cliché! Cliché to the max! Unforgivable! The next episode "That Matsutake Soup Stuff Tastes Better Than The Real Deal, Plus One.
" [Man cannot come back to life once dead.
But, there's another subtitle.
.]
[Someone suddenly comes into Shinpachi's lone Odd Jobs.]
Okay, the two King Kongers are next.
H-Hey, Gin-san! The King Kong program ended in spring.
Huh? Hey, now.
Hold on.
I didn't hear anything about that.
That show ended? Yep.
Starting in April, they're airing Pirameki at 6:30.
Hey, tell me these things sooner.
I've totally embarrassed myself.
How could I screw up so badly? Then give me another try.
From the top.
Okay, the two Hannya members are next.
No, Gin-san.
That's not the issue here.
You've got it completely wrong.
Huh? Hey, now.
Hold on.
Give me a break already.
What did I screw up? Well, it's only It's not time for GinTama to end yet.
We have too much time left over.
That's right.
And after we managed to end that long arc in a nice fashion What the hell? Can't do anything about that.
Besides, the fourth year of GinTama was unreasonable.
"Wait! Let's just make thirty minutes worth of anime from one week's worth of JUMP.
Then we won't catch up to the manga.
Tag on some extra segments.
[Note: Refers to the Japanese pop/R&B band known as EXILE.
.]
And add a bunch of extras to EXILE while we're at it.
" The staff totally didn't think this through.
The last one was completely unrelated.
And they aren't extras! So what are we going to do? Are we going to keep talking? Are we going to keep whining about the budget? Besides, that one sponsor has been I told you to stop talking about issues like money on TV! That's not the point! We have five minutes left over so can't we do something extra? We can't spend the entire five minutes like this.
We have to do something new to please the audience.
Are you an idiot? By definition, an extra isn't going to please the audience.
Hell, after the extras put them at 14 members Stop talking about EXILE! Gin-chan, I'm thirsty so I'm gonna go get a drink.
Move on to some kind of new extra corner by the time I get back.
Gotcha.
You have an extra to use? Sure.
Oh.
Tell me sooner.
Or just start with that.
Well, it's a new extra corner, so I wanted to save it for next week when the new ending hits.
Yeah, I don't think this is the time to be saving up.
You think? Then I'll give it a try.
New Extra Corner! Feeling all beat by 6 PM.
Everything's still all good.
Getting all bitchy by 6 PM.
Tomorrow will be all good.
Okay.
We're back again this week.
A special edition of "Smile! Is That Good?.
" Then we'll start with the first Tamo-san commercial that wasn't shown during the broadcast.
What the hell?! Special edition?! This is just a recap! A recap of an extra segment! Who benefits from this?! Besides, "Smile! Is That Good?.
" was supposed to be a special corner which featured friends who hadn't been on screen in a while to make the audience happy! And before we knew it, it turned into a corner for Tamo-san to play dumb.
That's right! That could no longer be considered a detour! He was headed in a completely different direction! Who's going to buy DVDs to see Tamo-san?! Who cares? Some viewers were watching because they thought it was "Go Ahead.
" Nobody would think that! I'm back.
Did you use up the rest of the time, incombustible waste? Well, Patsuan here didn't like the content of my extra.
Who would? There's no need to do anything with the content of an extra.
Just go with the standard.
If you use the original plan and introduce popular characters who don't get much screen time, you'll hook the audience.
Don't use words like hook! So would a standard extra be like this? Soul Reaper Encyclopedia Silver! Okay, we'll be introducing some more Soul Reapers this week.
The Soul Reaper who was trying to take Taka-chin's soul.
His favorite food is apples.
He weighs seven apples.
And There's no end to the problems I could name! It's a blatant rip-off from the very beginning! Yeah, but you said to introduce characters Who wants you to introduce an ordinary Soul Reaper?! And why is he obsessed with apples?! Even Ryuk could control himself better! [Note: Refers to Ryuk from Death Note.
.]
I thought that would be a standard extra.
The content was anything but! Hey, you done griping, contact lenses? You mean Four-Eyes! Fine.
Fine.
I'll give up on introducing characters.
We'll use a different kind of standard extra.
So what do you have in mind? This would be as standard as you get.
A corner for illustrations from all the viewers! [Illustration Corner.]
This is super standard.
I'd feel a lot better if you just made everything audience participation.
Let's move to the first letter.
A postcard from Hiroko Aoki, four years old, from Kanagawa prefecture.
I tried my best to draw my favorite scene in GinTama.
Please use it.
That's nice.
A four-year-old, huh? It puts a smile on my face.
It must be an adorable illustration.
Here it is.
[Hiroko Aoki-chan (4 years old).]
Hell no! A four-year-old would never have chosen this scene! This was obviously planted! How could the fake DVD jacket from the fourth year announcement be a classic scene?! Shinpachi.
What?! We're out of time.
[We were planning to fill thirty minutes with randomness next week.]
[How about we let the fourth season of GinTama steamroll in and air tomorrow? [See you next time.
.]
A Toshiro Hijikata with his pathetic otaku characteristics amplified by the curse.
Yes, he isn't a different personality I created.
He's the real Toshiro Hijikata.
I chose to face him head-on and talk.
"I don't want to disappear without accomplishing anything.
I want to leave proof of my existence.
" That's what he said.
This is Toshi's dream.
My way of paying tribute to the departure of the one I gave birth to.
I will master the way of the otaku! I will become the greatest otaku! I will unite all otaku and become the king of otaku! And etch proof of his existence into this worldinto people's hearts! Die! ["The Black Ships Even Make a Scene When They Sink".]
Spectacular! Mr.
Shimura has made peace between KIM the bass player and KIYOSHI the drum player! Their session has doubled the attack points of Mr.
Toshi's strong attack and reflected it back at him! Now! Now is my chance! Go! Mr.
Toshi's life points are dropping fast! Is this the end?! I'm losing I'll lose at this rate That's enough That's enough, Toshiro Let me handle the rest.
Let me finish this! Y-You That's Wow! What's going on?! The energy reflected by Mr.
Shimura is expanding before Mr.
Toshi! Expanding larger and larger! The light is not fading! This is This card is! Dizon.
A sudden announcement in the middle of a concert that she's pregnant and getting married.
[Note: Refers to idol Leah Dizon who made such an announcement during her concert.
.]
The worst possible card which negates all audience, enemy, and ally cards.
Please don't ditch me.
Th-This is! A draw! Both sides collapsed in the ring without budging! Shinpachi! Toshi! Vice-Chief! What a grand battle! The final contest has ended without an overall victor! Their desire to win and love for Otsu-chan could not be fully measured in such a match?! How do we call this contest?! Otsu-chan, what do we do?! There is no need To call this contest.
Because this contest isn't over yet! Th-They're up! Both have stood up with zero life points! Yet they still continue to fight! Shinpachi! Toshi! Zero life points! They're both beat up! Neither side has any cards in their hand! Yet they still stand! Yet they still! Continue to fight! They're engaged in a literal blow by blow match! Will they only stop fighting when their lives have burned out?! Stop! Please! Stop already! It's too dangerous to continue! Why do you have to go so far for the title of official fan club?! Enough already! I'll make both teams my official fan clubs! So stop! Please! Somebody stop them! They're going to kill each other at this rate! It's useless.
It's useless now.
Nobody can stop them.
They are no longer fighting to become the official fan club.
It's funny.
I'm in so much pain It hurts so much Yet, this is the first time I've ever felt so alive! Hijikata-san No Toshi! So you noticed, Mr.
Shinpachi? I wouldn't be standing here if I'd taken a straight punch from Hijikata-san.
Why? If you had let Hijikata-san handle this, you could have easily won.
Why now?! I could ask the same of you, Mr.
Shinpachi.
After hearing Otsu-chan's voice, why do you still not lower your fists? Why do you still fight?! Proof of my existence That is what I have sought with Toshiro I mastered the way of the otaku But I suppose that I never really cared about becoming lord over all otaku.
I may have just wanted to completely lose myself in one task.
I may have just wanted to fight with everything I had, alongside my friends.
With my rivals Mr.
Shinpachi, you're the same.
There is no need for any proof.
There is no need to create any.
We just have to live every second to the fullest! And the traces of the path we lived will be burned into the ground That will serve as proof of our existence! Both sides have simultaneously been knocked out! Toshi, that's crazy After coming so far to be rid of him, why now? It doesn't matter.
Huh? It no longer matters.
Get up! Get up, Toshi! It doesn't matter if you win or lose! Stand up and fight to the very end! Fight until you're completely burned out so your memory remains engraved in our minds! Get up! Toshi! Stand up! Patsuan! What are you burning out for?! You're going to let this end in such a small flame?! Stupid four-eyes! You won't be able to rest in peace if your body's still warm! Stand up! Patsuan! Burn everything up! Send that bastard to the next world! Th-This is Yeah! Stand up! Don't give up! Do your best, guys! Both sides are struggling to their feet! And! The entire arena is cheering them on! As their battle transcends victory and interests, they are now being cheered on by both enemies and allies! I'll also cheer for them! Stand up, you two! This show's almost out of time! Mr.
Shinpachi.
I'm glad to have met a rival like you in the end.
Thank you, Mr.
Shinpachi.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you Toshiro Such a strange feeling To see someone paying their respects to their own picture.
Hey, Yamazaki.
I told you to change the picture.
This picture was when I was pretending to be Toshi.
Switch it to a picture of the real Toshi.
Does it even matter? You look the same.
Don't give me that crap.
What if he comes back again? Take good care of the flowers, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you hear anything about what happened to them afterwards? The fan club? Thanks to a certain someone, they're still scraping by with a few people.
Though former members are starting to return.
What do you mean? They didn't become the official fan club? The members should have rushed back in droves when they became official.
Well They said something about how there's nothing official or unofficial about cheering for Otsu-chan and gave up the title.
Hey! Louder! Don't be wusses! You need more guts if you're gonna love Otsu-chan! And they even left this behind.
That bastard's trying to be all cool! Where are you going, Vice-Chief? Isn't it obvious?! I refuse to stay in their debt! I'll personally return the former members to the fan club! Are you going to pretend to be Toshi and gather otaku again? It'll be hard to pay back this debt.
Still, this gives us a perfect picture to use.
The eternally missing member.
You can brag all you want in the afterlife.
Toshi.
Tsu Terakado's new single! Your Granny's Wearing Your Basketball Shoes! Selling great in the anime! Gin-san, it's terrible! Some impostors have shown up using the Odd Jobs name! What's that?! That's so cliché! Cliché to the max! Unforgivable! The next episode "That Matsutake Soup Stuff Tastes Better Than The Real Deal, Plus One.
" [Man cannot come back to life once dead.
But, there's another subtitle.
.]
[Someone suddenly comes into Shinpachi's lone Odd Jobs.]
Okay, the two King Kongers are next.
H-Hey, Gin-san! The King Kong program ended in spring.
Huh? Hey, now.
Hold on.
I didn't hear anything about that.
That show ended? Yep.
Starting in April, they're airing Pirameki at 6:30.
Hey, tell me these things sooner.
I've totally embarrassed myself.
How could I screw up so badly? Then give me another try.
From the top.
Okay, the two Hannya members are next.
No, Gin-san.
That's not the issue here.
You've got it completely wrong.
Huh? Hey, now.
Hold on.
Give me a break already.
What did I screw up? Well, it's only It's not time for GinTama to end yet.
We have too much time left over.
That's right.
And after we managed to end that long arc in a nice fashion What the hell? Can't do anything about that.
Besides, the fourth year of GinTama was unreasonable.
"Wait! Let's just make thirty minutes worth of anime from one week's worth of JUMP.
Then we won't catch up to the manga.
Tag on some extra segments.
[Note: Refers to the Japanese pop/R&B band known as EXILE.
.]
And add a bunch of extras to EXILE while we're at it.
" The staff totally didn't think this through.
The last one was completely unrelated.
And they aren't extras! So what are we going to do? Are we going to keep talking? Are we going to keep whining about the budget? Besides, that one sponsor has been I told you to stop talking about issues like money on TV! That's not the point! We have five minutes left over so can't we do something extra? We can't spend the entire five minutes like this.
We have to do something new to please the audience.
Are you an idiot? By definition, an extra isn't going to please the audience.
Hell, after the extras put them at 14 members Stop talking about EXILE! Gin-chan, I'm thirsty so I'm gonna go get a drink.
Move on to some kind of new extra corner by the time I get back.
Gotcha.
You have an extra to use? Sure.
Oh.
Tell me sooner.
Or just start with that.
Well, it's a new extra corner, so I wanted to save it for next week when the new ending hits.
Yeah, I don't think this is the time to be saving up.
You think? Then I'll give it a try.
New Extra Corner! Feeling all beat by 6 PM.
Everything's still all good.
Getting all bitchy by 6 PM.
Tomorrow will be all good.
Okay.
We're back again this week.
A special edition of "Smile! Is That Good?.
" Then we'll start with the first Tamo-san commercial that wasn't shown during the broadcast.
What the hell?! Special edition?! This is just a recap! A recap of an extra segment! Who benefits from this?! Besides, "Smile! Is That Good?.
" was supposed to be a special corner which featured friends who hadn't been on screen in a while to make the audience happy! And before we knew it, it turned into a corner for Tamo-san to play dumb.
That's right! That could no longer be considered a detour! He was headed in a completely different direction! Who's going to buy DVDs to see Tamo-san?! Who cares? Some viewers were watching because they thought it was "Go Ahead.
" Nobody would think that! I'm back.
Did you use up the rest of the time, incombustible waste? Well, Patsuan here didn't like the content of my extra.
Who would? There's no need to do anything with the content of an extra.
Just go with the standard.
If you use the original plan and introduce popular characters who don't get much screen time, you'll hook the audience.
Don't use words like hook! So would a standard extra be like this? Soul Reaper Encyclopedia Silver! Okay, we'll be introducing some more Soul Reapers this week.
The Soul Reaper who was trying to take Taka-chin's soul.
His favorite food is apples.
He weighs seven apples.
And There's no end to the problems I could name! It's a blatant rip-off from the very beginning! Yeah, but you said to introduce characters Who wants you to introduce an ordinary Soul Reaper?! And why is he obsessed with apples?! Even Ryuk could control himself better! [Note: Refers to Ryuk from Death Note.
.]
I thought that would be a standard extra.
The content was anything but! Hey, you done griping, contact lenses? You mean Four-Eyes! Fine.
Fine.
I'll give up on introducing characters.
We'll use a different kind of standard extra.
So what do you have in mind? This would be as standard as you get.
A corner for illustrations from all the viewers! [Illustration Corner.]
This is super standard.
I'd feel a lot better if you just made everything audience participation.
Let's move to the first letter.
A postcard from Hiroko Aoki, four years old, from Kanagawa prefecture.
I tried my best to draw my favorite scene in GinTama.
Please use it.
That's nice.
A four-year-old, huh? It puts a smile on my face.
It must be an adorable illustration.
Here it is.
[Hiroko Aoki-chan (4 years old).]
Hell no! A four-year-old would never have chosen this scene! This was obviously planted! How could the fake DVD jacket from the fourth year announcement be a classic scene?! Shinpachi.
What?! We're out of time.
[We were planning to fill thirty minutes with randomness next week.]
[How about we let the fourth season of GinTama steamroll in and air tomorrow? [See you next time.
.]