Hercules: The Legendary Journeys s04e13 Episode Script

It's snowing in summer? It's not snow.
It's more like ashes.
Hey, hey, hey! Get your own! Hercules, it's a clay wall.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
It's better to do it right the first time than to have to do it all over again when it falls down.
But if it takes forever to do it the first time, what's the point? Oh, I know.
You're doing it for your mom.
- Hercules? - Hmm? A messenger just came for you from Queen Leda.
I'm afraid it's bad news.
Did something happen to Tyndareus? No, no, no, the king is fine.
But their daughter ran away and got married, and Leda's afraid he's gonna start a war because of it.
Oh, Tyndareus.
Another word for "hothead.
" He's a good man.
He'll come to his senses.
He's been making offerings to Ares and raising an army.
Ares.
Terrific.
Just what we need.
I promise my next visit will be longer.
That'll give me something to look forward to.
Yeah.
Welcome home, Callisto.
Hope.
Why? It's over.
Leave me alone.
Your work's not finished, Callisto.
I've done all I can.
Not yet.
Your biggest challenge is ahead.
And what would that be? To rid the world of its greatest hero- Hercules.
This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend, when the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering.
Only one man dared to challenge their power- Hercules.
Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.
He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods.
But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be Hercules.
Hail! You were right to come to me, Tyndareus.
A thing of beauty, isn't it? Forged by Hephaestus, worthy of a god.
It feels alive.
The fit.
The finish.
The balance.
Feel the power.
See how it draws, smooth and sure.
Be one with the arrow.
Call him "Tyndareus the Terrible!" Now, all this could be yours.
Your army will slaughter its enemies.
Thousands, no.
Tens of thousands will die by your hand! But I only want my daughter back.
That poor, sweet, innocent girl.
When I think of her being deceived- tricked into that marriage, I- You are doing the right thing.
Any good father would do as much.
You're absolutely right, of course.
I appreciate what you're doing for me, but- Eh, no guts, no glory, King.
Hey,lam trying to help you here.
I could give these weapons to your enemies.
It really makes no difference to mewhoslaughterswhom.
But you'd never see Daddy's girl again.
You're right.
I'll kill him with my own bare hands! That's the ticket! And the great thing is, it's gonna cost you nothing.
Only your soul.
Who invited him to the party? I wanna talk to my brother, Tyndareus.
You go with lolaus.
But Ares has agreed to help me get my daughter.
King.
Don't you have any scruples? Huh? Any what? You took advantage of that man's desperation.
He had potential.
No matter.
I'll find someone else.
Not with these toys, you won't.
No! Oh, the horror! There.
That's better.
It took Hephaestus months to forge those weapons! Well, Hephaestus needs a new hobby, like, maybe, knitting.
Eh? Eh.
You don't suppose Zeus has lifted that pesky little "No gods kill another god" rule, do you? And the day started so well.
Yeah.
Well, bye, guys.
It's been fun.
- Eh- - Get up and act like a god, you worm.
Okay.
You've changed, Hope.
I hardly recognized you.
Things change.
Things stay the same.
I am who I always was.
Yeah.
And you want to kill Hercules.
It's been tried.
I can't believe you have disturbed me for this.
The two of us will do it together.
To refuse would be a mistake.
Oh, yeah? And, uh, what exactly are you gonna do if I don't, huh? You gonna kill me? 'Cause I'm a goddess now, sweet cheeks, and goddesses don't die.
Your life is empty.
You need a purpose.
My life- My life will never end, and it was over years ago in Cirra.
There is nothing you can do for me, Hope, so you go away! I can redeem your life- rid you of your demons - in a way you never thought possible.
I appreciate your intentions, but it's my daughter's future at stake.
And not your fatherly pride? Certainly not.
Do you know the guy she's marrying? Yes, I know him.
So, what's wrong with him? He's not good enough for her, that's what.
- Why? Because she's a princess? - Well, it's not that.
He comes from a royal family too.
It's just that, uh- It's just that she's your daughter.
- She deserves better.
- Have you talked to her about this? Yes, I did.
I forbade her to see him, let alone marry him.
Then she did the obvious thing and ran away and did it.
Tyndareus, I've known you for a long time.
I know how much you and your daughter love each other.
- Don't let this come between you.
- I couldn't live if it did.
Well, then, throw them a wedding feast.
Your daughter's in love.
You should be celebrating.
You're right.
Won't you both join us? Hey, is the world supported on the back of four giant elephants? Good.
Well, that's settled then.
I'll expect you.
He's a hothead, but a nice guy.
Hmm.
I thought the world was round.
Really? I needed that war to reinforce my position on Olympus.
Those old fools can't see what's coming, but I can.
I know.
And you! You're a worthless excuse for a god.
He makes a fool of you time and time again! Hey, hey, hey, I'm not the only one who's afraid of crossing Zeus.
I still don't see Herc's head on your belt, Mr.
Big, Bad God Of- Hit him again.
He deserves it.
Callisto.
Lookin' better than ever.
Immortal and a newborn goddess.
I'm flattered, Ares.
I really wasn't quite sure what kind of reception I would get as myself, considering the last time we met, I was in Xena's body.
Ooh, I remember.
Callisto? She's a twisted sister.
Next to her, the Furies are, uh, mellow.
Shut up, Strife.
Whoa.
Nice technique.
Yeah.
Well, I love fire.
It's always been a part of me since Xena's army burned my home.
And that fire turned my family to ashes.
And everybody died that day.
I love it when you talk like that.
Such delicious carnage.
Xena would have laid waste to the entire mortal world if Hercules hadn't interfered.
What has he got against fun, huh? Don't trust her, Unc.
You know, she may be a god, but she's not one of us.
Shut up, Strife.
I admire your technique too.
It's like a hammer to an anvil.
You know, some people are just begging to get pounded.
I didn't think you noticed.
I was talking about Hercules.
Sooner or later, he's gonna go too far, and I might not be able to restrain myself.
Oh, well, that is a problem, isn't it? What would Zeus do if that were ever to happen? Huh? What's an eternal life without the occasional risk? You know what your problem is? Huh? You're always trying to kill Hercules.
What if you just got rid of him in a way that Zeus never knew about? Then we'd really have some fun, huh? I'll show you carnage like you never dreamed of- a landscape littered with body parts.
Unc, can't you see? She's playing you like a lyre.
She's jerking your strings! Shut up, Strife! He's right about you, isn't he? But you wanna know more, don't you? I'm all ears.
Well, maybe notallears.
Okay, I like it.
But there's no need to rush.
Damn! Ah, this is the place.
I'm ready if you are.
Oh, yeah.
I'm ready.
Was it good for you? Not yet.
I'm back.
So, you're the Sovereign.
Gotta tell you, love the beard.
Ares, the God of Love, in basic black.
I approve.
Hey! You're not in Neverland now, pal.
You're in my yard.
And Priestess Callisto.
You must be my "welcome home" present.
Please, I really don't wanna hear about it.
Just fork over the pendant, sunshine.
This? Huh? I don't think so.
Come to Papa.
Wait a minute.
This isn't my world.
Disappointed! As a fashion statement, it, uh, comes in a little short, but since it's filled with the blood of the golden hind- I think I'll keep this.
Hind's blood is nasty stuff.
It's the only thing that will kill a god! And the god who has it is top gun! Now, where were we? Oh, yes.
Are you ready to consummate our relationship and move ahead with the plan? Ah-ah-ah-ah.
One thing at a time.
First, we consummate.
Ares, I don't think you trust me.
No.
All right.
What do I have to do to convince you? I don't trust her, Unc.
Dump her now.
- It's what she deserves.
- You pathetic little weasel! No, no, no, no.
Sometimes he can be such an embarrassment.
Okay.
Okay.
You made your point.
But, uh, what do we do now? How do we get Hercules where we want him, hmm? That is the beauty of unleashing the Sovereign, you nitwit.
My brother is such a predictable do-gooder.
Soon he'll have his hands full with his own bad self.
Yes, and while he's busy with the Sovereign, that leaves us with our own fun and games, doesn't it? Hercules, we're going to this wedding feast, aren't we? Hmm? It should be good.
Food, wine, dancing girls.
Dancing girls.
I wouldn't wanna let you down.
Besides, I wanna see how he handles having a son-in-law under his roof.
Yeah.
And dancing girls.
Whoa! Big guy.
Sorry.
My fault.
It's okay.
How'd you get here so fast? Shaved.
New clothes.
How'd you do that? I think it's the drink talking.
Uh-huh.
Whatever works.
Just don't get him mad.
I've seen what he can do, and I don't want to see it again.
What do you think I did? Arcadia.
This morning.
You tore the place up.
Of course, it needed it.
Not a problem.
- Are you sure it was him? - Sure I'm sure.
Of course, he had the beard, that black leather outfit.
But it was your friend here.
The Sovereign.
Let's get to Arcadia.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Whatever you say.
Hiya, Hercules.
Beautiful day, isn't it? What did you call me? You people should fear me! - Look out! - Hide from me! Tremble at the sight of me! All I get are happy faces! I hate happy! - Nice to see he's mellowed out.
I'd hate to see him when he gets really mad.
Hercules, he's the same strength as you.
This could take forever.
Maybe not.
So, how's your throwing arm? Okay.
That's enough! Nobody talks to me like that! - Behave yourself, and stop acting like a child.
- You.
You trapped me in that place.
But I'm out now, and I'm not going back.
Oh, you're going back, one way or another.
Really? Okay.
Oh! - Oh, yeah.
This is gonna be good.
- Now, lolaus! You.
I've been thinking about you too.
Every night, I've been dreaming of snapping your puny little neck.
Yeah? Well, I think you're all talk.
What did you do? That's narcolepsis dust.
I recommend just a pinch for a good night's sleep.
Nighty-night.
You know, Herc, something tells me he didn't get out of there on his own.
I have a good idea who it was too.
Yeah.
But first, we gotta put him back - this time for good.
Wait a minute.
Where's the hind's blood? It's not on him.
Whoever freed him has it now.
Great.
Wake up, lolaus.
Come on.
Well, here we are, but- It's here, all right.
We just can't see it.
Now, how are we gonna open it up? - We'd be glad to help.
- Callisto.
And Ares.
Hercules, there it is - the hind's blood.
I knew it would be.
- Well, how so, brother? - Well, who else would feel a need for it? Only you.
It's mine! Give it back, or I'll tear it off your rotting corpse! I like your style.
Too bad you won't be stickin' around long enough for us to get acquainted.
All right, cut the chitchat.
Let's just do it.
- Do what? - It.
No, I'm not going back! No! Hercules! Hercules, look out! Oh, no, you don't! No! Hercules! Well, I think this calls for a celebration.
Oh, just great! Welcome to my nightmare! It's not so bad.
Tell me the cup is half full, and so help me- There's gotta be a way out of here.
Where's this road go to? That road? It's an endless circle.
See, it leads right back to here.
I should know.
I've - I've tried it enough times! This is unbelievable! I finally escape, and where do I end up? Right back where I started- trapped in this place between worlds, thanks to you.
Let go.
What, are you crazy? If I die, you'll die too! I don't care about dying anymore! I kill you.
You kill me.
It doesn't matter.
Either way, it ends now.
Bye-bye.
Hercules, I don't know what to do.
To victory.
To a world without Hercules.
There's no stopping us now.
"Us"? You obsequious toad.
You weren't even there.
Far be it for me to steal your thunder.
You're the man with the plan.
You're the mistress of mean.
I'm just proud to be on the team.
Does this brazen brownnosing actually work with you? What can I say? A little stroking never hurt anyone.
No, no, no.
Ah- You can look, but don't touch.
I want it.
I figured you did.
Come and get it, if you think you can.
Oh, I know I can.
I was just hoping you'd put up a fight.
Ares! Let's get mad! Not exactly my idea of foreplay, but it'll do.
Oh, you're good, girlie.
But when it comes to physical punishment, I invented the art.
- Teach her a lesson! - I got your lesson, punk! Oh, that was low.
Well, I guess that was too, but oh, well.
Get up, Callisto.
Your work's not done.
Oh! You're finished, Ares.
You're washed up and wrung out.
Everything'll be different now.
The last thing anybody wants is a has-been god like you! Let me tell you a little secret.
Just the idea, the mere idea of you touching me makes my skin crawl.
Come to Mama! Strife, what are you waiting for? Do something! Stop her.
Get that pendant back before it's too late.
Now! Um- Now, no hard feelings, okay? I mean, you - you got the chops, and that's a fact.
If there's one thing that us gods of aggression appreciate, it's a good show of strong, brute force.
You know, no mercy.
So, uh, let me be the first to welcome you to the club.
But I wouldn't wanna be in a club that'd have me for a member.
What in Tartarus- Something terrible has happened.
Oh, what have you done? - He's dead.
- Dead? He can't be dead! He's a god! Well, at least we know the stuff really works, huh? Callisto.
He wasn't so bad.
He tried hard.
He- He was just no good at his job.
You didn't have to do this! You know, Callisto didn't do this by herself.
The one great evil is here- it's part of that creature that was with her, and we sensed him.
Everyone on Olympus has.
This- This force of darkness spells the end of all of us, gods and man alike.
Then we've gotta stop her! Stop her? Didn't you see what happened? She can't be stopped! If we got Hercules back, maybe she can.
What can he do that I can't? Think about it.
Whatever Callisto and this evil are up to, they had to get rid of Hercules first.
It's him they're afraid of, not you.
You know what? I'm gonna go to Zeus.
We're gonna get the gods - No, that's stupid.
He's gonna blame me for getting Strife killed right here! Forget Zeus.
It's Callisto we have to worry about.
She's killed one god.
Maybe you're next! Shut up! I cannot think! Ares, she played you for a sap, and then she kicked your butt! Enough! But maybe you're right.
Let's get the witch.
It's time.
The first part's finished.
Hercules is gone, and you move on.
I'll do this for you, and then it's my turn.
Your pain will be gone.
It'll be like it was never there.
The promise stands.
You'll live with a free heart.
But first, this.
Do it.
The ability to cross time is yours.
All gods can do it.
You'll master the gift eventually, but for now, you'll be shown the way.
- Well, if all gods can do it- - They won't interfere as long as you have the hind's blood.
- Callisto! - You're too late.
It's too late for all of you.
Where did she go? - She's gone back in time- - It can't be.
to stop Hercules from ever being born.
Alcmene.
She's gone to kill Hercules' mother.
You're a god.
You can go back in time.
Why don't you just go back and get her? I can't go chasing after Callisto.
I got responsibilities here.
Strife is gone.
Someone's gotta look after things.
Admit it, Ares.
You're scared.
Okay.
Send me back.
I'll go.
All right.
It's your funeral.
You can follow Callisto wherever she goes, but only where she goes.
And you can come back to the present, but that's it.
Make the most of it.
Did you hear? What? The magistrate's wife is having a little fling with a stable boy.
Oh! Why, she's old enough to be his mother! That's terrible! Uh, excuse me.
This looks like Corinth.
Well, it is Corinth.
Good.
Good.
Uh, look, um, I wonder if you could help me.
I'm looking for someone.
She's, uh, tall, blonde, bad-tempered.
A woman.
Uh- I don't know if she's been here already or if she's going to appear later.
Haven't seen her.
Have you been drinking? No! No, no, no, no.
Not yet.
Uh, what about Hercules? You know him? Never heard of him.
Okay, uh, Alcmene.
How about her? Oh, we know her all too well, the harlot.
"Harlot.
" Okay.
Are we talking about the same Alcmene? Her husband's Amphitryon.
Her husband's dead.
He went off to war.
But Alcmene couldn't be bothered to wait.
She's with child.
What do you think? This is getting us nowhere! I told you it wouldn't! Now, listen to me.
If we work together, we can find a way out of here! For you, you mean.
Even if I did help you, and we found a way out of here, you would still try to leave me in here.
Fine.
Then I'll do it on my own.
Sure! Go ahead, for all the good it'll do you.
You're an idiot, you know that? You know nothing about me.
Oh, yes, I do.
Oh, yeah.
See, I've watched you in here.
You should make people worship you, tremble in fear.
But what do you do? Oh, you help them out.
You solve their puny problems.
You're pathetic.
Maybe you're the one who's pathetic.
You ever think about that? Are you so happy with your own life? Forget it! Wait! You said you watched me in here.
How? I was thinking about you putting me in this place, and a window popped up in that pool, and there you were.
I tried to reach through it to strangle you.
Callisto and Ares didn't put us in here on their own.
They had help of some evil force.
I saw him.
Now lolaus is alone back there with what- whatever it is.
lolaus? Get used to it.
It's torture.
We can see the outside world, but we can't get back to it.
There has to be a way.
There's always a way.
There must be.
The baby kicked again.
He's so strong.
Our baby, Amphitryon, no matter what anyone says.
I know it was you in my bed that night, even though they say it's not possible.
They say you were killed before the night you came to me.
If that's true, I have to believe, because our love was so strong, that you came to me in spirit.
I know it was you.
I'll always love you.
Alcmene! Um, uh, you don't know me.
Uh, I'm a friend.
lolaus.
Tell me, have you seen any strangers around here? A woman? No.
Just you.
What about Iphicles, your son? Is he inside? No, no, he's away with friends.
Who are you? What do you want? We haven't got time for this.
He's with my mother.
I'll tell you in a moment.
We gotta get out of here.
Come on.
It's dangerous.
What are you doing? Come on.
I told you.
I'm a friend! I'm not going anywhere with you.
- But wait! You don't understand! - Callisto.
- Hello.
Can I help you? Yes.
N- No!