Impractical Jokers (2017) s04e13 Episode Script
Cruisin' for a Bruisin'
[ upbeat music plays .]
[ horn blows .]
cruise ship.
we're on a cruise.
cruise episode.
we're on a cruise.
cruise episode.
the whole -- we're on it.
today, we are cruising the deck of the ship, chatting up our fellow passengers.
Deck of the ship, chatting up our fellow passengers.
while we're out there meeting Our fellow passengers.
while we're out there meeting new friends, we'll be given a while we're out there meeting new friends, we'll be given a ridiculous task that we must New friends, we'll be given a ridiculous task that we must complete.
if you can't complete that one task, you lose.
One task, you lose.
did you hear about the new did you hear about the new pirate movie? Pirate movie? what? what? it's rated arrr pg-13! it's rated arrr pg-13! [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
that makes no sense.
that makes no sense.
you look like a guy who you look like a guy who cruises.
Cruises.
An avid cruise goer.
An avid cruise goer.
yeah.
yeah.
like, you should have zinc on like, you should have zinc on your nose, like a shuffleboard Your nose, like a shuffleboard player.
Player.
yeah.
yeah.
there's more buttons on your there's more buttons on your shirt.
You know that, right? Shirt.
You know that, right? [ laughs .]
You know that, right? [ laughs .]
how many buttons are buttoned [ laughs .]
how many buttons are buttoned on your shirt? how many buttons are buttoned on your shirt? two.
On your shirt? two.
[ laughter .]
two.
[ laughter .]
q, see the guy right behind [ laughter .]
q, see the guy right behind you with the baseball hat and q, see the guy right behind you with the baseball hat and the black pirate shirt? You with the baseball hat and the black pirate shirt? yeah.
The black pirate shirt? yeah.
you just got to dry your yeah.
you just got to dry your hands on him.
you just got to dry your hands on him.
but my hands aren't wet.
Hands on him.
but my hands aren't wet.
yeah, there's a pool right but my hands aren't wet.
yeah, there's a pool right there.
yeah, there's a pool right there.
[ laughs .]
There.
[ laughs .]
that's it.
[ laughs .]
that's it.
Yeah! that's it.
Yeah! Get them all nice and wet like.
Yeah! Get them all nice and wet like.
there you go.
Get them all nice and wet like.
there you go.
excuse me, do you think we there you go.
excuse me, do you think we could take this ship from the excuse me, do you think we could take this ship from the captain? Could take this ship from the captain? [ laughter .]
Captain? [ laughter .]
like a -- I guess the only word [ laughter .]
like a -- I guess the only word is mutiny.
Like a -- I guess the only word is mutiny.
mutiny is an odd choice, Is mutiny.
mutiny is an odd choice, buddy.
mutiny is an odd choice, buddy.
[ laughs .]
Buddy.
[ laughs .]
a guy dressed like that talks [ laughs .]
a guy dressed like that talks about mutiny.
a guy dressed like that talks about mutiny.
you in? Yeah? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh! I mean, we take the boat, man, we can go anywhere we want, Oh! I mean, we take the boat, man, we can go anywhere we want, buddy.
Man, we can go anywhere we want, buddy.
just keep rubbing his chest! Buddy.
just keep rubbing his chest! [ laughs .]
just keep rubbing his chest! [ laughs .]
we can go anywhere we want.
[ laughs .]
we can go anywhere we want.
[ sighs .]
we can go anywhere we want.
[ sighs .]
cut you off, man.
[ sighs .]
cut you off, man.
I'm cut off? cut you off, man.
I'm cut off? [ laughter .]
I'm cut off? [ laughter .]
I can't believe you did it.
[ laughter .]
I can't believe you did it.
one last question.
I can't believe you did it.
one last question.
one last question.
one last question.
one last question.
should I unbutton one more one last question.
should I unbutton one more button? should I unbutton one more button? [ laughs .]
Button? [ laughs .]
should I unbutton one more [ laughs .]
should I unbutton one more button, or is this good? should I unbutton one more button, or is this good? it's good.
Button, or is this good? it's good.
it's good?! it's good.
it's good?! yeah.
it's good?! yeah.
[ laughter .]
yeah.
[ laughter .]
she's hitting him! [ laughter .]
she's hitting him! She's hitting her husband.
she's hitting him! She's hitting her husband.
"what are you letting him do She's hitting her husband.
"what are you letting him do that for? "what are you letting him do that for? He was wiping his hands all over That for? He was wiping his hands all over you.
" He was wiping his hands all over you.
" [ laughter .]
You.
" [ laughter .]
"I don't know.
" [ laughter .]
"I don't know.
" [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
"I don't know.
" [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
they're on a cruise.
[bleep.]
[ laughs .]
they're on a cruise.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
so, joe packed a pair of so, joe packed a pair of shorts that were too tight for Shorts that were too tight for him.
Him.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
so, what we decided was that so, what we decided was that joe was gonna put those pants on and try to split them in front Joe was gonna put those pants on and try to split them in front of somebody.
And try to split them in front of somebody.
[ laughs .]
Of somebody.
[ laughs .]
joe, those shorts, they [ laughs .]
joe, those shorts, they really bring out your eyes.
joe, those shorts, they really bring out your eyes.
they're about to bring out Really bring out your eyes.
they're about to bring out more than that.
they're about to bring out more than that.
[ laughter .]
More than that.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
they're looking at you like [ laughter .]
they're looking at you like you're nuts.
they're looking at you like you're nuts.
[ laughter .]
You're nuts.
[ laughter .]
look at this! [ laughter .]
look at this! [ laughter .]
look at this! [ laughter .]
[bleep.]
this.
I'm getting it.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
this.
I'm getting it.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
this.
I'm getting it.
[ laughter .]
oh, clumsy.
[ laughter .]
oh, clumsy.
[ laughter .]
oh, clumsy.
[ laughter .]
he looks like he's trying to [ laughter .]
he looks like he's trying to take a [bleep.]
on the deck! he looks like he's trying to take a [bleep.]
on the deck! Do it! Take a [bleep.]
on the deck! Do it! This is the funniest thing -- Do it! This is the funniest thing -- one of them's crying and This is the funniest thing -- one of them's crying and laughing.
one of them's crying and laughing.
The other one looks like she Laughing.
The other one looks like she wants to kill you.
The other one looks like she wants to kill you.
[bleep.]
Wants to kill you.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
the integrity of these shorts [ laughter .]
the integrity of these shorts cannot be compromised.
the integrity of these shorts cannot be compromised.
[ laughter .]
Cannot be compromised.
[ laughter .]
come on, bud, one more time! [ laughter .]
come on, bud, one more time! You're getting so close! come on, bud, one more time! You're getting so close! [ laughter .]
You're getting so close! [ laughter .]
my balls are in my throat.
[ laughter .]
my balls are in my throat.
[ laughter .]
my balls are in my throat.
[ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! Oopsie.
oh! Oopsie.
[ laughter .]
Oopsie.
[ laughter .]
joe, don't stop it.
[ laughter .]
joe, don't stop it.
[ groaning .]
come on! joe, don't stop it.
[ groaning .]
come on! she started laughing.
[ groaning .]
come on! she started laughing.
[ laughter .]
she started laughing.
[ laughter .]
I was mistaken, sal.
[ laughter .]
I was mistaken, sal.
These shorts definitely fit me.
I was mistaken, sal.
These shorts definitely fit me.
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
so, I think I'd be a good so, I think I'd be a good captain.
Captain.
you'd be a good captain.
you'd be a good captain.
I think you'd make a great I think you'd make a great skipper, buddy.
Skipper, buddy.
me? me? yeah, yeah.
Skipper.
yeah, yeah.
Skipper.
as in someone who skips? as in someone who skips? yeah, like, skip around.
yeah, like, skip around.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
just skip around to people, just skip around to people, and when you get up to them, we'll tell you what to say to And when you get up to them, we'll tell you what to say to them.
We'll tell you what to say to them.
okay.
Them.
okay.
get your skip on.
okay.
get your skip on.
here we go.
get your skip on.
here we go.
there he is, the skipper.
here we go.
there he is, the skipper.
there he is.
there he is, the skipper.
there he is.
[ laughs .]
"hey, soul sister.
" hey, soul sister.
hey, soul sister.
"now you give me a nickname.
" "now you give me a nickname.
" now you give me a nickname.
now you give me a nickname.
hoppity-hop.
hoppity-hop.
[ laughter .]
"room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
" [ laughter .]
"room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
" room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
"room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
" room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
"bring shrimp.
" room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
"bring shrimp.
" bring shrimp.
"bring shrimp.
" bring shrimp.
oh! bring shrimp.
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
she went, "oh!" [ laughter .]
she went, "oh!" oh! she went, "oh!" oh! all right.
oh! all right.
"keep in mind we're in all right.
"keep in mind we're in international waters.
"keep in mind we're in international waters.
All races are equal.
" International waters.
All races are equal.
" keep in mind we're in All races are equal.
" keep in mind we're in international waters.
keep in mind we're in international waters.
All races are equal.
[ laughter .]
"will do.
" little shout-out to "will do.
" little shout-out to mel brooks? little shout-out to mel brooks? sure.
Mel brooks? sure.
"where all the white women sure.
"where all the white women at?" "where all the white women at?" where are all the white women At?" where are all the white women at? where are all the white women at? [ laughter .]
At? [ laughter .]
look how confused she is.
[ laughter .]
look how confused she is.
[bleep.]
look how confused she is.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
last one, last one.
[ laughter .]
last one, last one.
last one, buddy.
Last one.
last one, last one.
last one, buddy.
Last one.
"I know you from last one, buddy.
Last one.
"I know you from sex anonymous.
" "I know you from sex anonymous.
" I know you from Sex anonymous.
" I know you from sex anonymous.
I know you from sex anonymous.
"toodles!" Sex anonymous.
"toodles!" toodles! "toodles!" toodles! [ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
guys, guys, guys.
guys, guys, guys.
Bring down the mike.
Bring down the mike.
Murray's cruise credit card.
Murray's cruise credit card.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
there's no money on the boat.
There's no money on the boat.
You use this to buy everything.
You guys want a drink? You use this to buy everything.
You guys want a drink? [ laughter .]
You guys want a drink? [ laughter .]
you want a drink? [ laughter .]
you want a drink? I'll be right back.
You want a drink? I'll be right back.
keep them coming.
I'll be right back.
keep them coming.
[ laughs .]
keep them coming.
[ laughs .]
three piña coladas, one [ laughs .]
three piña coladas, one nonalcoholic for my friend.
Three piña coladas, one nonalcoholic for my friend.
so, what are we doing? Nonalcoholic for my friend.
so, what are we doing? murr, that shirt's -- what is so, what are we doing? murr, that shirt's -- what is that, a smedium? murr, that shirt's -- what is that, a smedium? [ laughter .]
That, a smedium? [ laughter .]
a hawaiian shirt.
[ laughter .]
a hawaiian shirt.
we're killing time right now a hawaiian shirt.
we're killing time right now so we can -- we're killing time right now so we can -- we don't want murray to know So we can -- we don't want murray to know that we're charging stuff to his we don't want murray to know that we're charging stuff to his room.
That we're charging stuff to his room.
james s.
Murray.
Room.
james s.
Murray.
I like to tip big.
james s.
Murray.
I like to tip big.
[ laughter .]
I like to tip big.
[ laughter .]
what are you laughing at? [ laughter .]
what are you laughing at? doo-doo, doo-doo, what are you laughing at? doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo what am I doing? Tell me.
Doo-doo what am I doing? Tell me.
gentlemen, cheers.
what am I doing? Tell me.
gentlemen, cheers.
to james murray.
gentlemen, cheers.
to james murray.
to james murray.
to james murray.
to james murray.
all right, james, thanks.
to james murray.
all right, james, thanks.
Here we go.
all right, james, thanks.
Here we go.
you would say you're tiny, Here we go.
you would say you're tiny, murr.
you would say you're tiny, murr.
you're compact.
Murr.
you're compact.
I'm a petite guy, yes.
you're compact.
I'm a petite guy, yes.
you can probably fit under I'm a petite guy, yes.
you can probably fit under one of those lounge chairs.
you can probably fit under one of those lounge chairs.
the deck chairs? One of those lounge chairs.
the deck chairs? yeah.
the deck chairs? yeah.
I don't know.
yeah.
I don't know.
you know where it's going.
I don't know.
you know where it's going.
[ laughter .]
you know where it's going.
[ laughter .]
go under someone's lounge [ laughter .]
go under someone's lounge chair while they're laying in go under someone's lounge chair while they're laying in it Chair while they're laying in it [ sighs .]
It [ sighs .]
Without getting caught.
[ sighs .]
Without getting caught.
yeah.
Without getting caught.
yeah.
[ slurps .]
yeah.
[ slurps .]
this is his room key, too, [ slurps .]
this is his room key, too, though, right? this is his room key, too, though, right? that gets you into his room.
Though, right? that gets you into his room.
yeah, okay.
that gets you into his room.
yeah, okay.
I'll be right back.
yeah, okay.
I'll be right back.
[ laughter .]
I'll be right back.
[ laughter .]
come on.
I got his key.
[ laughter .]
come on.
I got his key.
Here we go.
Come on.
I got his key.
Here we go.
oh, he's going, he's going.
Here we go.
oh, he's going, he's going.
he's in.
oh, he's going, he's going.
he's in.
oh, my god.
he's in.
oh, my god.
Look at the woman next to him! oh, my god.
Look at the woman next to him! Well, you can't get caught.
Look at the woman next to him! Well, you can't get caught.
Remember, you cannot get caught.
Well, you can't get caught.
Remember, you cannot get caught.
[ laughs .]
Remember, you cannot get caught.
[ laughs .]
how is this? [ laughs .]
how is this? wow! how is this? wow! look at this! wow! look at this! Good! look at this! Good! [ laughs .]
Good! [ laughs .]
his chicken legs is shooting out [ laughs .]
his chicken legs is shooting out of the bottom! His chicken legs is shooting out of the bottom! little does he know joe's Of the bottom! little does he know joe's taking a [bleep.]
in his room little does he know joe's taking a [bleep.]
in his room right now.
Taking a [bleep.]
in his room right now.
[ both laughing .]
Right now.
[ both laughing .]
little privacy, please.
[ both laughing .]
little privacy, please.
wow.
He really did it.
little privacy, please.
wow.
He really did it.
[ laughs .]
wow.
He really did it.
[ laughs .]
this guy -- what's he [ laughs .]
this guy -- what's he dreaming about right now, not this guy -- what's he dreaming about right now, not knowing that there's a literal Dreaming about right now, not knowing that there's a literal monster underneath his bed? Knowing that there's a literal monster underneath his bed? [ laughs .]
Monster underneath his bed? [ laughs .]
what's I miss? [ laughs .]
what's I miss? [ laughter .]
what's I miss? [ laughter .]
did you [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
did you [bleep.]
let's just say I'm feeling did you [bleep.]
let's just say I'm feeling much better.
let's just say I'm feeling much better.
[ laughter .]
Much better.
[ laughter .]
has he gotten under the [ laughter .]
has he gotten under the chair? has he gotten under the chair? he got under the chair.
Chair? he got under the chair.
hey, murr, just so you know, he got under the chair.
hey, murr, just so you know, while you were under there hey, murr, just so you know, while you were under there [ laughs .]
While you were under there [ laughs .]
You left your room key back [ laughs .]
You left your room key back here You left your room key back here [ laughter .]
Here [ laughter .]
So q bought a round of [ laughter .]
So q bought a round of drinks, and I just [bleep.]
in So q bought a round of drinks, and I just [bleep.]
in your room.
Drinks, and I just [bleep.]
in your room.
[ laughter .]
Your room.
[ laughter .]
I should mention I didn't flush.
[ laughter .]
I should mention I didn't flush.
[ laughter .]
I should mention I didn't flush.
[ laughter .]
ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
oh, there he goes, there he [ laughter .]
oh, there he goes, there he goes! oh, there he goes, there he goes! I'm stuck.
Goes! I'm stuck.
I can't get out.
I'm stuck.
I can't get out.
[ laughter .]
I can't get out.
[ laughter .]
he's stuck, he's stuck! [ laughter .]
he's stuck, he's stuck! When he flipped on his back, the he's stuck, he's stuck! When he flipped on his back, the chair pushed down! When he flipped on his back, the chair pushed down! He's stuck! Chair pushed down! He's stuck! [ laughter .]
He's stuck! [ laughter .]
and the good news is we don't [ laughter .]
and the good news is we don't have murr for the rest of the And the good news is we don't have murr for the rest of the episode.
Have murr for the rest of the episode.
hey! Episode.
hey! sir, I'm stuck.
hey! sir, I'm stuck.
You moved, and I got stuck.
sir, I'm stuck.
You moved, and I got stuck.
[ laughter .]
You moved, and I got stuck.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, [ laughter .]
oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god.
oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god.
thank you.
My god.
thank you.
I don't know how I got stuck thank you.
I don't know how I got stuck under there.
I don't know how I got stuck under there.
It was just a hilarious chain of Under there.
It was just a hilarious chain of events.
It was just a hilarious chain of events.
[ laughter .]
Events.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry about that.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry about that.
[ laughs .]
I'm sorry about that.
[ laughs .]
so, murr, not only did you [ laughs .]
so, murr, not only did you get caught, there's 80 bucks on so, murr, not only did you get caught, there's 80 bucks on your room card and a turd in Get caught, there's 80 bucks on your room card and a turd in your toilet.
Your room card and a turd in your toilet.
[ laughter .]
Your toilet.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Joe and murr narrator: Joe and murr couldn't cruise through this challenge, so they're first up Couldn't cruise through this challenge, so they're first up on the loser board.
Challenge, so they're first up on the loser board.
today we're teaming up as On the loser board.
today we're teaming up as entertainment directors, helping today we're teaming up as entertainment directors, helping passengers plan a boatload of Entertainment directors, helping passengers plan a boatload of fun.
while working the information booth, we'll have to do and say Booth, we'll have to do and say what the other guys tell us.
What the other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.
Anything, you lose.
so we all went with the red so we all went with the red shirts.
Shirts.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
what's your name, kid? what's your name, kid? Shayna, pleasure to meet you.
Shayna, pleasure to meet you.
We got some free excursions We got some free excursions going on tomorrow.
Going on tomorrow.
Want to hear about some? Want to hear about some? here we go.
here we go.
you were out on an island a you were out on an island a little bit? Little bit? mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
oh.
oh.
it was nice today, right? it was nice today, right? you guys should hold hands.
you guys should hold hands.
[ both laughing .]
[ both laughing .]
so so so so why don't you show her why don't you show her some Some did you notice this? did you notice this? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
she does an eye check.
She does an eye check.
right.
right.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
hoof night's tomorrow.
hoof night's tomorrow.
It's a petting-zoo thing.
It's a petting-zoo thing.
we should be clear, there's we should be clear, there's no animals with no hooves.
No animals with no hooves.
it's called hoof night for a it's called hoof night for a reason.
Reason.
You're not gonna see a paw.
You're not gonna see a paw.
right.
right.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
that's one for kids, really, that's one for kids, really, 'cause it's like a petting zoo, 'cause it's like a petting zoo, but there's an adult one we But there's an adult one we have.
Have.
yeah.
This is on of the more yeah.
This is on of the more adult-themed ones.
Adult-themed ones.
It's yelling at seagulls.
It's yelling at seagulls.
[ laughing .]
we'll throw a lot of bread [ laughing .]
we'll throw a lot of bread behind the boat, and the we'll throw a lot of bread behind the boat, and the seagulls will come, and then you Behind the boat, and the seagulls will come, and then you can just yell at them to your Seagulls will come, and then you can just yell at them to your heart's content.
Can just yell at them to your heart's content.
hold hands.
Heart's content.
hold hands.
so if you have something hold hands.
so if you have something going on that's bothering you or so if you have something going on that's bothering you or something that's some Going on that's bothering you or something that's some frustrations, you go back there Something that's some frustrations, you go back there and just take it out on the Frustrations, you go back there and just take it out on the gulls.
And just take it out on the gulls.
[ laughter .]
Gulls.
[ laughter .]
sal, say, "let me check if [ laughter .]
sal, say, "let me check if we're offering this special one sal, say, "let me check if we're offering this special one tomorrow.
" We're offering this special one tomorrow.
" let me check if we're Tomorrow.
" let me check if we're offering that special excursion.
let me check if we're offering that special excursion.
One second.
Let me just check.
Offering that special excursion.
One second.
Let me just check.
so, where are you from? sal, turn around.
Yell, "I love atlanta.
" I love atlanta.
"I should mention he has extraordinary hearing.
" he's got really good hearing.
Extraordinary hearing.
" he's got really good hearing.
yeah.
he's got really good hearing.
yeah.
what's your middle name? Your middle name's not "nothing.
" [ laughter .]
"nothing.
" [ laughter .]
hijinks with earpieces.
[ laughter .]
hijinks with earpieces.
sal, head to the top of the hijinks with earpieces.
sal, head to the top of the steps.
sal, head to the top of the steps.
[ laughs .]
Steps.
[ laughs .]
look how far he is.
[ laughs .]
look how far he is.
what's your favorite steak? new york! [ laughter .]
favorite president? [ laughter .]
favorite president? hmm they all do about the same job is right.
[ laughs .]
Job is right.
[ laughs .]
what's your favorite season? winter! I know you said summer.
[ laughter .]
I know you said summer.
[ laughter .]
he's good, right? He's good.
[ laughter .]
he's good, right? He's good.
yeah.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
murr murr yeah? I thought it was a really yeah? I thought it was a really nice gesture of you to bring I thought it was a really nice gesture of you to bring pleated, non-wrinkled, cotton Nice gesture of you to bring pleated, non-wrinkled, cotton dockers for everybody.
Pleated, non-wrinkled, cotton dockers for everybody.
Murray, you are a human pleat -- Dockers for everybody.
Murray, you are a human pleat -- the human pleat -- the human Murray, you are a human pleat -- the human pleat -- the human pleat.
The human pleat -- the human pleat.
the most boring superhero Pleat.
the most boring superhero name ever.
the most boring superhero name ever.
I want somebody watching this Name ever.
I want somebody watching this show at home to draw a I want somebody watching this show at home to draw a comic-book character called Show at home to draw a comic-book character called the human pleat.
Comic-book character called the human pleat.
wrinkles beware.
The human pleat.
wrinkles beware.
The human pleat is on the scene.
wrinkles beware.
The human pleat is on the scene.
[ laughter .]
The human pleat is on the scene.
[ laughter .]
how you doing? yeah, "I'm fat bottom.
He's pleat.
" He's pleat.
" I'm fat bottom.
I'm fat bottom.
This is my friend pleat.
This is my friend pleat.
yes.
I go by pleat.
yes.
I go by pleat.
fat bottom and pleat.
fat bottom and pleat.
Keep calling the girl "sugar" Keep calling the girl "sugar" and the guy "toots.
" And the guy "toots.
" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
so, have you been on a so, have you been on a cruise before, toots? Cruise before, toots? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
how about you, sugar? how about you, sugar? You been on a cruise before? You been on a cruise before? you have.
you have.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
all right, show them some all right, show them some excursions, guys.
Excursions, guys.
these are some of the new these are some of the new excursions for tomorrow.
Excursions for tomorrow.
They have They have [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
All hands on dick.
All hands on dick.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
it's this guy, richard, plays It's this guy, richard, plays hide-and-seek, and the way that Hide-and-seek, and the way that the team wins is everybody has The team wins is everybody has their hands on him at the same Their hands on him at the same time.
Time.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
look at his face! look at his face! so, another one we have is so, another one we have is two of every animal buffet.
Two of every animal buffet.
That is the one not to miss.
That is the one not to miss.
they got some really exotic they got some really exotic stuff.
Stuff.
They got otters.
They got otters.
They got 'dillo.
They got 'dillo.
They got lemur.
They got lemur.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
how about cankle pageant? how about cankle pageant? cankle pageant's not to miss.
cankle pageant's not to miss.
[ laughing .]
[ laughing .]
we broke him, we broke him.
we broke him, we broke him.
finally.
finally.
Cankle pageant's what got him.
Cankle pageant's what got him.
toots is in on the toots is in on the cankle pageant.
Cankle pageant.
Can't miss it.
Can't miss it.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
narrator: It was smooth narrator: It was smooth sailing for the guys, making joe and murr tonight's big losers.
Sailing for the guys, making joe and murr tonight's big losers.
ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! And murr tonight's big losers.
ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! They've done lost! ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! They've done lost! Since we're on vacation, we're They've done lost! Since we're on vacation, we're doing things a little bit Since we're on vacation, we're doing things a little bit differently.
Doing things a little bit differently.
You're both getting punished.
Differently.
You're both getting punished.
normally, we'd punish them You're both getting punished.
normally, we'd punish them together.
normally, we'd punish them together.
This time, two punishments for Together.
This time, two punishments for two losers! This time, two punishments for two losers! murr, you're up first.
Two losers! murr, you're up first.
Get out there, baby.
murr, you're up first.
Get out there, baby.
murr, you're gonna give a Get out there, baby.
murr, you're gonna give a little speech, 'cause you're the murr, you're gonna give a little speech, 'cause you're the ship's masters of ceremony, my Little speech, 'cause you're the ship's masters of ceremony, my friend.
Ship's masters of ceremony, my friend.
The only problem is we wrote the Friend.
The only problem is we wrote the speech.
The only problem is we wrote the speech.
[ laughing .]
yes! Speech.
[ laughing .]
yes! Get out there, baby! [ laughing .]
yes! Get out there, baby! No, no.
You don't dance.
Get out there, baby! No, no.
You don't dance.
dancing's for winners, baby.
No, no.
You don't dance.
dancing's for winners, baby.
Dancing's for winners.
dancing's for winners, baby.
Dancing's for winners.
you don't never dance.
Dancing's for winners.
you don't never dance.
The entertainment is about to you don't never dance.
The entertainment is about to die down.
The entertainment is about to die down.
the real entertainer, please Die down.
the real entertainer, please stand up.
the real entertainer, please stand up.
[ audio feedback .]
Stand up.
[ audio feedback .]
[ laughs .]
[ audio feedback .]
[ laughs .]
is everyone enjoying the ship [ laughs .]
is everyone enjoying the ship so far? is everyone enjoying the ship so far? [ cheers and applause .]
So far? [ cheers and applause .]
people are on vacation.
[ cheers and applause .]
people are on vacation.
They're in vacation mode.
people are on vacation.
They're in vacation mode.
He's about to drop just some They're in vacation mode.
He's about to drop just some awkward, awkward stuff on them, He's about to drop just some awkward, awkward stuff on them, man.
Awkward, awkward stuff on them, man.
my name is james s.
Murray, Man.
my name is james s.
Murray, your master of ceremonies.
my name is james s.
Murray, your master of ceremonies.
Can I get a "what, what!" from Your master of ceremonies.
Can I get a "what, what!" from my single fellas? Can I get a "what, what!" from my single fellas? [ laughter .]
My single fellas? [ laughter .]
yeah, you know what I'm talking [ laughter .]
yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Single boys say "ho!" About.
Single boys say "ho!" [ laughter .]
Single boys say "ho!" [ laughter .]
a little about myself.
[ laughter .]
a little about myself.
I'm bald.
A little about myself.
I'm bald.
[ laughter .]
I'm bald.
[ laughter .]
the bald head is an important [ laughter .]
the bald head is an important element of seafaring.
The bald head is an important element of seafaring.
When we pass a ship, I reflect Element of seafaring.
When we pass a ship, I reflect a signal off my shiny, shiny When we pass a ship, I reflect a signal off my shiny, shiny scalp that says, "g'day, mate.
A signal off my shiny, shiny scalp that says, "g'day, mate.
Happy trails to youse.
" Scalp that says, "g'day, mate.
Happy trails to youse.
" [ laughter .]
Happy trails to youse.
" [ laughter .]
I used to sail with my dog.
[ laughter .]
I used to sail with my dog.
My first dog was a I used to sail with my dog.
My first dog was a german shepherd named delilah.
My first dog was a german shepherd named delilah.
She had beautiful, brown eyes German shepherd named delilah.
She had beautiful, brown eyes and a tongue that didn't quit.
She had beautiful, brown eyes and a tongue that didn't quit.
[ laughter .]
And a tongue that didn't quit.
[ laughter .]
please be careful when roaming [ laughter .]
please be careful when roaming the ship.
Please be careful when roaming the ship.
Last cruise, I went to the back The ship.
Last cruise, I went to the back of the ship, the aft, and I fell Last cruise, I went to the back of the ship, the aft, and I fell in a hole.
Of the ship, the aft, and I fell in a hole.
I was stuck in that aft hole for In a hole.
I was stuck in that aft hole for two weeks I was stuck in that aft hole for two weeks [ laughter .]
Two weeks [ laughter .]
Until someone came and found [ laughter .]
Until someone came and found me in that aft hole.
Until someone came and found me in that aft hole.
[ laughter .]
Me in that aft hole.
[ laughter .]
all right, you miserable [ laughter .]
all right, you miserable maggots, let's talk about the All right, you miserable maggots, let's talk about the sea.
Maggots, let's talk about the sea.
[ laughter, applause .]
Sea.
[ laughter, applause .]
he's the worst master of [ laughter, applause .]
he's the worst master of ceremonies ever.
he's the worst master of ceremonies ever.
I'll be honest, I don't do Ceremonies ever.
I'll be honest, I don't do well with geography.
I'll be honest, I don't do well with geography.
I don't even know what lake Well with geography.
I don't even know what lake we're on.
I don't even know what lake we're on.
[ laughter .]
We're on.
[ laughter .]
look at this guy! [ laughter .]
look at this guy! Look at this guy's face! look at this guy! Look at this guy's face! it's so nice to be surrounded Look at this guy's face! it's so nice to be surrounded by my good canadian brothers and it's so nice to be surrounded by my good canadian brothers and sisters again.
By my good canadian brothers and sisters again.
I spent way too much time Sisters again.
I spent way too much time visiting our ugly neighbor to I spent way too much time visiting our ugly neighbor to the south, the United States Visiting our ugly neighbor to the south, the United States [ laughter .]
The south, the United States [ laughter .]
Where the women are rougher [ laughter .]
Where the women are rougher than the men and the men have no Where the women are rougher than the men and the men have no manners.
Than the men and the men have no manners.
Karaoke's my absolute fave, and Manners.
Karaoke's my absolute fave, and you can do it now on deck three.
Karaoke's my absolute fave, and you can do it now on deck three.
[ laughter .]
You can do it now on deck three.
[ laughter .]
come holla at me.
[ laughter .]
come holla at me.
I'll be up in the aft.
Come holla at me.
I'll be up in the aft.
Single boys say, "ho!" I'll be up in the aft.
Single boys say, "ho!" [ audio feedback .]
Single boys say, "ho!" [ audio feedback .]
[ laughter .]
[ audio feedback .]
[ laughter .]
it said on there, "drop the [ laughter .]
it said on there, "drop the mike!" it said on there, "drop the mike!" it said, "drop the mike!" Mike!" it said, "drop the mike!" [ clapping .]
It said, "drop the mike!" [ clapping .]
oh, man! [ clapping .]
oh, man! yeah, nice work.
Oh, man! yeah, nice work.
yes! yeah, nice work.
yes! good day, sir.
yes! good day, sir.
[ laughs .]
good day, sir.
[ laughs .]
can't wait for my speech.
[ laughs .]
can't wait for my speech.
oh, no, no.
can't wait for my speech.
oh, no, no.
Speech -- no speech.
oh, no, no.
Speech -- no speech.
Put your bathing suit on and go Speech -- no speech.
Put your bathing suit on and go out to the deck.
Put your bathing suit on and go out to the deck.
[ laughter .]
Out to the deck.
[ laughter .]
and now it's joe's turn.
[ laughter .]
and now it's joe's turn.
[ laughs .]
And now it's joe's turn.
[ laughs .]
you might say that we saved [ laughs .]
you might say that we saved the worst for last.
you might say that we saved the worst for last.
[ laughs .]
The worst for last.
[ laughs .]
so, joe is about to crash a [ laughs .]
so, joe is about to crash a cannonball contest on the ship, so, joe is about to crash a cannonball contest on the ship, except he can only do belly Cannonball contest on the ship, except he can only do belly flops.
Except he can only do belly flops.
[ laughs .]
Flops.
[ laughs .]
and, joe, you can only stop [ laughs .]
and, joe, you can only stop when we say you can, buddy.
and, joe, you can only stop when we say you can, buddy.
[ laughs .]
When we say you can, buddy.
[ laughs .]
all right.
Here we go.
[ laughs .]
all right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
all right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
here we go, pal.
Here we go.
here we go, pal.
[ laughs .]
here we go, pal.
[ laughs .]
unveil the belly! [ laughs .]
unveil the belly! unleash the beast! unveil the belly! unleash the beast! oh, man.
There it is.
unleash the beast! oh, man.
There it is.
yeah.
[ laughs .]
oh, man.
There it is.
yeah.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
yeah.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
look at joe! [ laughs .]
look at joe! go, go, go! look at joe! go, go, go! uh-oh.
go, go, go! uh-oh.
go, joe! uh-oh.
go, joe! joe's a chicken! go, joe! joe's a chicken! there he goes! joe's a chicken! there he goes! [ laughter .]
there he goes! [ laughter .]
oh! That was painful.
[ laughter .]
oh! That was painful.
oh! oh! That was painful.
oh! joe, do it again, buddy.
oh! joe, do it again, buddy.
Here we go.
joe, do it again, buddy.
Here we go.
Cut the girl! Here we go.
Cut the girl! Cut the little girl! Cut the girl! Cut the little girl! [ laughs .]
Cut the little girl! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
the whole crowd goes "oh!" [ laughter .]
the whole crowd goes "oh!" oh, my god.
the whole crowd goes "oh!" oh, my god.
Help.
oh, my god.
Help.
again, buddy, again.
Help.
again, buddy, again.
[ laughter .]
again, buddy, again.
[ laughter .]
got the camera! [ laughter .]
got the camera! He got the camera! got the camera! He got the camera! The camera's like 20 feet away! He got the camera! The camera's like 20 feet away! I don't know if he's just The camera's like 20 feet away! I don't know if he's just trying to have fun with it or I don't know if he's just trying to have fun with it or he's lost his mind at this Trying to have fun with it or he's lost his mind at this point.
He's lost his mind at this point.
I don't know what's going on.
Point.
I don't know what's going on.
[ laughter .]
I don't know what's going on.
[ laughter .]
look at the difference [ laughter .]
look at the difference between his back and his front.
look at the difference between his back and his front.
Look.
Between his back and his front.
Look.
It's pale white and hot pink! Look.
It's pale white and hot pink! I'd be feeling so bad right It's pale white and hot pink! I'd be feeling so bad right now if the three of us didn't I'd be feeling so bad right now if the three of us didn't have tattoos on us that this Now if the three of us didn't have tattoos on us that this chump gave us for life.
Have tattoos on us that this chump gave us for life.
hey, jaden smith says hello, Chump gave us for life.
hey, jaden smith says hello, you dick.
hey, jaden smith says hello, you dick.
[ laughter .]
You dick.
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
I think I'm done, boys.
[ laughter .]
I think I'm done, boys.
It's really hurting.
I think I'm done, boys.
It's really hurting.
again, again! It's really hurting.
again, again! No mercy, no mercy.
again, again! No mercy, no mercy.
oh! No mercy, no mercy.
oh! I just wanted to take this oh! I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you guys I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you guys for what my punishment was.
Opportunity to thank you guys for what my punishment was.
[ laughter .]
For what my punishment was.
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
all the fervor and life is [ crowd groans .]
all the fervor and life is being sucked out of him.
all the fervor and life is being sucked out of him.
oh, god.
Being sucked out of him.
oh, god.
[ laughter .]
oh, god.
[ laughter .]
he's exhausted.
[ laughter .]
he's exhausted.
if he was a video game, the he's exhausted.
if he was a video game, the life meter would be blinking.
if he was a video game, the life meter would be blinking.
[ laughs .]
Life meter would be blinking.
[ laughs .]
look at how red he is! [ laughs .]
look at how red he is! oh, my god! look at how red he is! oh, my god! Look at his stomach! [ crowd groans .]
[ laughs .]
he's done.
[ laughs .]
he's done.
He's done.
He's done.
yeah, we got to let him off yeah, we got to let him off the hook.
The hook.
he is done.
he is done.
nice work, buddy.
nice work, buddy.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
now you can dance.
now you can dance.
[ laughter .]
[ horn blows .]
cruise ship.
we're on a cruise.
cruise episode.
we're on a cruise.
cruise episode.
the whole -- we're on it.
today, we are cruising the deck of the ship, chatting up our fellow passengers.
Deck of the ship, chatting up our fellow passengers.
while we're out there meeting Our fellow passengers.
while we're out there meeting new friends, we'll be given a while we're out there meeting new friends, we'll be given a ridiculous task that we must New friends, we'll be given a ridiculous task that we must complete.
if you can't complete that one task, you lose.
One task, you lose.
did you hear about the new did you hear about the new pirate movie? Pirate movie? what? what? it's rated arrr pg-13! it's rated arrr pg-13! [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
that makes no sense.
that makes no sense.
you look like a guy who you look like a guy who cruises.
Cruises.
An avid cruise goer.
An avid cruise goer.
yeah.
yeah.
like, you should have zinc on like, you should have zinc on your nose, like a shuffleboard Your nose, like a shuffleboard player.
Player.
yeah.
yeah.
there's more buttons on your there's more buttons on your shirt.
You know that, right? Shirt.
You know that, right? [ laughs .]
You know that, right? [ laughs .]
how many buttons are buttoned [ laughs .]
how many buttons are buttoned on your shirt? how many buttons are buttoned on your shirt? two.
On your shirt? two.
[ laughter .]
two.
[ laughter .]
q, see the guy right behind [ laughter .]
q, see the guy right behind you with the baseball hat and q, see the guy right behind you with the baseball hat and the black pirate shirt? You with the baseball hat and the black pirate shirt? yeah.
The black pirate shirt? yeah.
you just got to dry your yeah.
you just got to dry your hands on him.
you just got to dry your hands on him.
but my hands aren't wet.
Hands on him.
but my hands aren't wet.
yeah, there's a pool right but my hands aren't wet.
yeah, there's a pool right there.
yeah, there's a pool right there.
[ laughs .]
There.
[ laughs .]
that's it.
[ laughs .]
that's it.
Yeah! that's it.
Yeah! Get them all nice and wet like.
Yeah! Get them all nice and wet like.
there you go.
Get them all nice and wet like.
there you go.
excuse me, do you think we there you go.
excuse me, do you think we could take this ship from the excuse me, do you think we could take this ship from the captain? Could take this ship from the captain? [ laughter .]
Captain? [ laughter .]
like a -- I guess the only word [ laughter .]
like a -- I guess the only word is mutiny.
Like a -- I guess the only word is mutiny.
mutiny is an odd choice, Is mutiny.
mutiny is an odd choice, buddy.
mutiny is an odd choice, buddy.
[ laughs .]
Buddy.
[ laughs .]
a guy dressed like that talks [ laughs .]
a guy dressed like that talks about mutiny.
a guy dressed like that talks about mutiny.
you in? Yeah? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh! I mean, we take the boat, man, we can go anywhere we want, Oh! I mean, we take the boat, man, we can go anywhere we want, buddy.
Man, we can go anywhere we want, buddy.
just keep rubbing his chest! Buddy.
just keep rubbing his chest! [ laughs .]
just keep rubbing his chest! [ laughs .]
we can go anywhere we want.
[ laughs .]
we can go anywhere we want.
[ sighs .]
we can go anywhere we want.
[ sighs .]
cut you off, man.
[ sighs .]
cut you off, man.
I'm cut off? cut you off, man.
I'm cut off? [ laughter .]
I'm cut off? [ laughter .]
I can't believe you did it.
[ laughter .]
I can't believe you did it.
one last question.
I can't believe you did it.
one last question.
one last question.
one last question.
one last question.
should I unbutton one more one last question.
should I unbutton one more button? should I unbutton one more button? [ laughs .]
Button? [ laughs .]
should I unbutton one more [ laughs .]
should I unbutton one more button, or is this good? should I unbutton one more button, or is this good? it's good.
Button, or is this good? it's good.
it's good?! it's good.
it's good?! yeah.
it's good?! yeah.
[ laughter .]
yeah.
[ laughter .]
she's hitting him! [ laughter .]
she's hitting him! She's hitting her husband.
she's hitting him! She's hitting her husband.
"what are you letting him do She's hitting her husband.
"what are you letting him do that for? "what are you letting him do that for? He was wiping his hands all over That for? He was wiping his hands all over you.
" He was wiping his hands all over you.
" [ laughter .]
You.
" [ laughter .]
"I don't know.
" [ laughter .]
"I don't know.
" [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
"I don't know.
" [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
they're on a cruise.
[bleep.]
[ laughs .]
they're on a cruise.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
so, joe packed a pair of so, joe packed a pair of shorts that were too tight for Shorts that were too tight for him.
Him.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
so, what we decided was that so, what we decided was that joe was gonna put those pants on and try to split them in front Joe was gonna put those pants on and try to split them in front of somebody.
And try to split them in front of somebody.
[ laughs .]
Of somebody.
[ laughs .]
joe, those shorts, they [ laughs .]
joe, those shorts, they really bring out your eyes.
joe, those shorts, they really bring out your eyes.
they're about to bring out Really bring out your eyes.
they're about to bring out more than that.
they're about to bring out more than that.
[ laughter .]
More than that.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
they're looking at you like [ laughter .]
they're looking at you like you're nuts.
they're looking at you like you're nuts.
[ laughter .]
You're nuts.
[ laughter .]
look at this! [ laughter .]
look at this! [ laughter .]
look at this! [ laughter .]
[bleep.]
this.
I'm getting it.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
this.
I'm getting it.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
this.
I'm getting it.
[ laughter .]
oh, clumsy.
[ laughter .]
oh, clumsy.
[ laughter .]
oh, clumsy.
[ laughter .]
he looks like he's trying to [ laughter .]
he looks like he's trying to take a [bleep.]
on the deck! he looks like he's trying to take a [bleep.]
on the deck! Do it! Take a [bleep.]
on the deck! Do it! This is the funniest thing -- Do it! This is the funniest thing -- one of them's crying and This is the funniest thing -- one of them's crying and laughing.
one of them's crying and laughing.
The other one looks like she Laughing.
The other one looks like she wants to kill you.
The other one looks like she wants to kill you.
[bleep.]
Wants to kill you.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
the integrity of these shorts [ laughter .]
the integrity of these shorts cannot be compromised.
the integrity of these shorts cannot be compromised.
[ laughter .]
Cannot be compromised.
[ laughter .]
come on, bud, one more time! [ laughter .]
come on, bud, one more time! You're getting so close! come on, bud, one more time! You're getting so close! [ laughter .]
You're getting so close! [ laughter .]
my balls are in my throat.
[ laughter .]
my balls are in my throat.
[ laughter .]
my balls are in my throat.
[ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! Oopsie.
oh! Oopsie.
[ laughter .]
Oopsie.
[ laughter .]
joe, don't stop it.
[ laughter .]
joe, don't stop it.
[ groaning .]
come on! joe, don't stop it.
[ groaning .]
come on! she started laughing.
[ groaning .]
come on! she started laughing.
[ laughter .]
she started laughing.
[ laughter .]
I was mistaken, sal.
[ laughter .]
I was mistaken, sal.
These shorts definitely fit me.
I was mistaken, sal.
These shorts definitely fit me.
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
so, I think I'd be a good so, I think I'd be a good captain.
Captain.
you'd be a good captain.
you'd be a good captain.
I think you'd make a great I think you'd make a great skipper, buddy.
Skipper, buddy.
me? me? yeah, yeah.
Skipper.
yeah, yeah.
Skipper.
as in someone who skips? as in someone who skips? yeah, like, skip around.
yeah, like, skip around.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
just skip around to people, just skip around to people, and when you get up to them, we'll tell you what to say to And when you get up to them, we'll tell you what to say to them.
We'll tell you what to say to them.
okay.
Them.
okay.
get your skip on.
okay.
get your skip on.
here we go.
get your skip on.
here we go.
there he is, the skipper.
here we go.
there he is, the skipper.
there he is.
there he is, the skipper.
there he is.
[ laughs .]
"hey, soul sister.
" hey, soul sister.
hey, soul sister.
"now you give me a nickname.
" "now you give me a nickname.
" now you give me a nickname.
now you give me a nickname.
hoppity-hop.
hoppity-hop.
[ laughter .]
"room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
" [ laughter .]
"room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
" room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
"room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
" room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
"bring shrimp.
" room 212, 10:00 p.
M.
"bring shrimp.
" bring shrimp.
"bring shrimp.
" bring shrimp.
oh! bring shrimp.
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
she went, "oh!" [ laughter .]
she went, "oh!" oh! she went, "oh!" oh! all right.
oh! all right.
"keep in mind we're in all right.
"keep in mind we're in international waters.
"keep in mind we're in international waters.
All races are equal.
" International waters.
All races are equal.
" keep in mind we're in All races are equal.
" keep in mind we're in international waters.
keep in mind we're in international waters.
All races are equal.
[ laughter .]
"will do.
" little shout-out to "will do.
" little shout-out to mel brooks? little shout-out to mel brooks? sure.
Mel brooks? sure.
"where all the white women sure.
"where all the white women at?" "where all the white women at?" where are all the white women At?" where are all the white women at? where are all the white women at? [ laughter .]
At? [ laughter .]
look how confused she is.
[ laughter .]
look how confused she is.
[bleep.]
look how confused she is.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
last one, last one.
[ laughter .]
last one, last one.
last one, buddy.
Last one.
last one, last one.
last one, buddy.
Last one.
"I know you from last one, buddy.
Last one.
"I know you from sex anonymous.
" "I know you from sex anonymous.
" I know you from Sex anonymous.
" I know you from sex anonymous.
I know you from sex anonymous.
"toodles!" Sex anonymous.
"toodles!" toodles! "toodles!" toodles! [ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
guys, guys, guys.
guys, guys, guys.
Bring down the mike.
Bring down the mike.
Murray's cruise credit card.
Murray's cruise credit card.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
there's no money on the boat.
There's no money on the boat.
You use this to buy everything.
You guys want a drink? You use this to buy everything.
You guys want a drink? [ laughter .]
You guys want a drink? [ laughter .]
you want a drink? [ laughter .]
you want a drink? I'll be right back.
You want a drink? I'll be right back.
keep them coming.
I'll be right back.
keep them coming.
[ laughs .]
keep them coming.
[ laughs .]
three piña coladas, one [ laughs .]
three piña coladas, one nonalcoholic for my friend.
Three piña coladas, one nonalcoholic for my friend.
so, what are we doing? Nonalcoholic for my friend.
so, what are we doing? murr, that shirt's -- what is so, what are we doing? murr, that shirt's -- what is that, a smedium? murr, that shirt's -- what is that, a smedium? [ laughter .]
That, a smedium? [ laughter .]
a hawaiian shirt.
[ laughter .]
a hawaiian shirt.
we're killing time right now a hawaiian shirt.
we're killing time right now so we can -- we're killing time right now so we can -- we don't want murray to know So we can -- we don't want murray to know that we're charging stuff to his we don't want murray to know that we're charging stuff to his room.
That we're charging stuff to his room.
james s.
Murray.
Room.
james s.
Murray.
I like to tip big.
james s.
Murray.
I like to tip big.
[ laughter .]
I like to tip big.
[ laughter .]
what are you laughing at? [ laughter .]
what are you laughing at? doo-doo, doo-doo, what are you laughing at? doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo what am I doing? Tell me.
Doo-doo what am I doing? Tell me.
gentlemen, cheers.
what am I doing? Tell me.
gentlemen, cheers.
to james murray.
gentlemen, cheers.
to james murray.
to james murray.
to james murray.
to james murray.
all right, james, thanks.
to james murray.
all right, james, thanks.
Here we go.
all right, james, thanks.
Here we go.
you would say you're tiny, Here we go.
you would say you're tiny, murr.
you would say you're tiny, murr.
you're compact.
Murr.
you're compact.
I'm a petite guy, yes.
you're compact.
I'm a petite guy, yes.
you can probably fit under I'm a petite guy, yes.
you can probably fit under one of those lounge chairs.
you can probably fit under one of those lounge chairs.
the deck chairs? One of those lounge chairs.
the deck chairs? yeah.
the deck chairs? yeah.
I don't know.
yeah.
I don't know.
you know where it's going.
I don't know.
you know where it's going.
[ laughter .]
you know where it's going.
[ laughter .]
go under someone's lounge [ laughter .]
go under someone's lounge chair while they're laying in go under someone's lounge chair while they're laying in it Chair while they're laying in it [ sighs .]
It [ sighs .]
Without getting caught.
[ sighs .]
Without getting caught.
yeah.
Without getting caught.
yeah.
[ slurps .]
yeah.
[ slurps .]
this is his room key, too, [ slurps .]
this is his room key, too, though, right? this is his room key, too, though, right? that gets you into his room.
Though, right? that gets you into his room.
yeah, okay.
that gets you into his room.
yeah, okay.
I'll be right back.
yeah, okay.
I'll be right back.
[ laughter .]
I'll be right back.
[ laughter .]
come on.
I got his key.
[ laughter .]
come on.
I got his key.
Here we go.
Come on.
I got his key.
Here we go.
oh, he's going, he's going.
Here we go.
oh, he's going, he's going.
he's in.
oh, he's going, he's going.
he's in.
oh, my god.
he's in.
oh, my god.
Look at the woman next to him! oh, my god.
Look at the woman next to him! Well, you can't get caught.
Look at the woman next to him! Well, you can't get caught.
Remember, you cannot get caught.
Well, you can't get caught.
Remember, you cannot get caught.
[ laughs .]
Remember, you cannot get caught.
[ laughs .]
how is this? [ laughs .]
how is this? wow! how is this? wow! look at this! wow! look at this! Good! look at this! Good! [ laughs .]
Good! [ laughs .]
his chicken legs is shooting out [ laughs .]
his chicken legs is shooting out of the bottom! His chicken legs is shooting out of the bottom! little does he know joe's Of the bottom! little does he know joe's taking a [bleep.]
in his room little does he know joe's taking a [bleep.]
in his room right now.
Taking a [bleep.]
in his room right now.
[ both laughing .]
Right now.
[ both laughing .]
little privacy, please.
[ both laughing .]
little privacy, please.
wow.
He really did it.
little privacy, please.
wow.
He really did it.
[ laughs .]
wow.
He really did it.
[ laughs .]
this guy -- what's he [ laughs .]
this guy -- what's he dreaming about right now, not this guy -- what's he dreaming about right now, not knowing that there's a literal Dreaming about right now, not knowing that there's a literal monster underneath his bed? Knowing that there's a literal monster underneath his bed? [ laughs .]
Monster underneath his bed? [ laughs .]
what's I miss? [ laughs .]
what's I miss? [ laughter .]
what's I miss? [ laughter .]
did you [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
did you [bleep.]
let's just say I'm feeling did you [bleep.]
let's just say I'm feeling much better.
let's just say I'm feeling much better.
[ laughter .]
Much better.
[ laughter .]
has he gotten under the [ laughter .]
has he gotten under the chair? has he gotten under the chair? he got under the chair.
Chair? he got under the chair.
hey, murr, just so you know, he got under the chair.
hey, murr, just so you know, while you were under there hey, murr, just so you know, while you were under there [ laughs .]
While you were under there [ laughs .]
You left your room key back [ laughs .]
You left your room key back here You left your room key back here [ laughter .]
Here [ laughter .]
So q bought a round of [ laughter .]
So q bought a round of drinks, and I just [bleep.]
in So q bought a round of drinks, and I just [bleep.]
in your room.
Drinks, and I just [bleep.]
in your room.
[ laughter .]
Your room.
[ laughter .]
I should mention I didn't flush.
[ laughter .]
I should mention I didn't flush.
[ laughter .]
I should mention I didn't flush.
[ laughter .]
ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
oh, there he goes, there he [ laughter .]
oh, there he goes, there he goes! oh, there he goes, there he goes! I'm stuck.
Goes! I'm stuck.
I can't get out.
I'm stuck.
I can't get out.
[ laughter .]
I can't get out.
[ laughter .]
he's stuck, he's stuck! [ laughter .]
he's stuck, he's stuck! When he flipped on his back, the he's stuck, he's stuck! When he flipped on his back, the chair pushed down! When he flipped on his back, the chair pushed down! He's stuck! Chair pushed down! He's stuck! [ laughter .]
He's stuck! [ laughter .]
and the good news is we don't [ laughter .]
and the good news is we don't have murr for the rest of the And the good news is we don't have murr for the rest of the episode.
Have murr for the rest of the episode.
hey! Episode.
hey! sir, I'm stuck.
hey! sir, I'm stuck.
You moved, and I got stuck.
sir, I'm stuck.
You moved, and I got stuck.
[ laughter .]
You moved, and I got stuck.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, [ laughter .]
oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god.
oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god.
thank you.
My god.
thank you.
I don't know how I got stuck thank you.
I don't know how I got stuck under there.
I don't know how I got stuck under there.
It was just a hilarious chain of Under there.
It was just a hilarious chain of events.
It was just a hilarious chain of events.
[ laughter .]
Events.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry about that.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry about that.
[ laughs .]
I'm sorry about that.
[ laughs .]
so, murr, not only did you [ laughs .]
so, murr, not only did you get caught, there's 80 bucks on so, murr, not only did you get caught, there's 80 bucks on your room card and a turd in Get caught, there's 80 bucks on your room card and a turd in your toilet.
Your room card and a turd in your toilet.
[ laughter .]
Your toilet.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Joe and murr narrator: Joe and murr couldn't cruise through this challenge, so they're first up Couldn't cruise through this challenge, so they're first up on the loser board.
Challenge, so they're first up on the loser board.
today we're teaming up as On the loser board.
today we're teaming up as entertainment directors, helping today we're teaming up as entertainment directors, helping passengers plan a boatload of Entertainment directors, helping passengers plan a boatload of fun.
while working the information booth, we'll have to do and say Booth, we'll have to do and say what the other guys tell us.
What the other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.
Anything, you lose.
so we all went with the red so we all went with the red shirts.
Shirts.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
what's your name, kid? what's your name, kid? Shayna, pleasure to meet you.
Shayna, pleasure to meet you.
We got some free excursions We got some free excursions going on tomorrow.
Going on tomorrow.
Want to hear about some? Want to hear about some? here we go.
here we go.
you were out on an island a you were out on an island a little bit? Little bit? mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
oh.
oh.
it was nice today, right? it was nice today, right? you guys should hold hands.
you guys should hold hands.
[ both laughing .]
[ both laughing .]
so so so so why don't you show her why don't you show her some Some did you notice this? did you notice this? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
she does an eye check.
She does an eye check.
right.
right.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
hoof night's tomorrow.
hoof night's tomorrow.
It's a petting-zoo thing.
It's a petting-zoo thing.
we should be clear, there's we should be clear, there's no animals with no hooves.
No animals with no hooves.
it's called hoof night for a it's called hoof night for a reason.
Reason.
You're not gonna see a paw.
You're not gonna see a paw.
right.
right.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
that's one for kids, really, that's one for kids, really, 'cause it's like a petting zoo, 'cause it's like a petting zoo, but there's an adult one we But there's an adult one we have.
Have.
yeah.
This is on of the more yeah.
This is on of the more adult-themed ones.
Adult-themed ones.
It's yelling at seagulls.
It's yelling at seagulls.
[ laughing .]
we'll throw a lot of bread [ laughing .]
we'll throw a lot of bread behind the boat, and the we'll throw a lot of bread behind the boat, and the seagulls will come, and then you Behind the boat, and the seagulls will come, and then you can just yell at them to your Seagulls will come, and then you can just yell at them to your heart's content.
Can just yell at them to your heart's content.
hold hands.
Heart's content.
hold hands.
so if you have something hold hands.
so if you have something going on that's bothering you or so if you have something going on that's bothering you or something that's some Going on that's bothering you or something that's some frustrations, you go back there Something that's some frustrations, you go back there and just take it out on the Frustrations, you go back there and just take it out on the gulls.
And just take it out on the gulls.
[ laughter .]
Gulls.
[ laughter .]
sal, say, "let me check if [ laughter .]
sal, say, "let me check if we're offering this special one sal, say, "let me check if we're offering this special one tomorrow.
" We're offering this special one tomorrow.
" let me check if we're Tomorrow.
" let me check if we're offering that special excursion.
let me check if we're offering that special excursion.
One second.
Let me just check.
Offering that special excursion.
One second.
Let me just check.
so, where are you from? sal, turn around.
Yell, "I love atlanta.
" I love atlanta.
"I should mention he has extraordinary hearing.
" he's got really good hearing.
Extraordinary hearing.
" he's got really good hearing.
yeah.
he's got really good hearing.
yeah.
what's your middle name? Your middle name's not "nothing.
" [ laughter .]
"nothing.
" [ laughter .]
hijinks with earpieces.
[ laughter .]
hijinks with earpieces.
sal, head to the top of the hijinks with earpieces.
sal, head to the top of the steps.
sal, head to the top of the steps.
[ laughs .]
Steps.
[ laughs .]
look how far he is.
[ laughs .]
look how far he is.
what's your favorite steak? new york! [ laughter .]
favorite president? [ laughter .]
favorite president? hmm they all do about the same job is right.
[ laughs .]
Job is right.
[ laughs .]
what's your favorite season? winter! I know you said summer.
[ laughter .]
I know you said summer.
[ laughter .]
he's good, right? He's good.
[ laughter .]
he's good, right? He's good.
yeah.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
murr murr yeah? I thought it was a really yeah? I thought it was a really nice gesture of you to bring I thought it was a really nice gesture of you to bring pleated, non-wrinkled, cotton Nice gesture of you to bring pleated, non-wrinkled, cotton dockers for everybody.
Pleated, non-wrinkled, cotton dockers for everybody.
Murray, you are a human pleat -- Dockers for everybody.
Murray, you are a human pleat -- the human pleat -- the human Murray, you are a human pleat -- the human pleat -- the human pleat.
The human pleat -- the human pleat.
the most boring superhero Pleat.
the most boring superhero name ever.
the most boring superhero name ever.
I want somebody watching this Name ever.
I want somebody watching this show at home to draw a I want somebody watching this show at home to draw a comic-book character called Show at home to draw a comic-book character called the human pleat.
Comic-book character called the human pleat.
wrinkles beware.
The human pleat.
wrinkles beware.
The human pleat is on the scene.
wrinkles beware.
The human pleat is on the scene.
[ laughter .]
The human pleat is on the scene.
[ laughter .]
how you doing? yeah, "I'm fat bottom.
He's pleat.
" He's pleat.
" I'm fat bottom.
I'm fat bottom.
This is my friend pleat.
This is my friend pleat.
yes.
I go by pleat.
yes.
I go by pleat.
fat bottom and pleat.
fat bottom and pleat.
Keep calling the girl "sugar" Keep calling the girl "sugar" and the guy "toots.
" And the guy "toots.
" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
so, have you been on a so, have you been on a cruise before, toots? Cruise before, toots? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
how about you, sugar? how about you, sugar? You been on a cruise before? You been on a cruise before? you have.
you have.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
all right, show them some all right, show them some excursions, guys.
Excursions, guys.
these are some of the new these are some of the new excursions for tomorrow.
Excursions for tomorrow.
They have They have [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
All hands on dick.
All hands on dick.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
it's this guy, richard, plays It's this guy, richard, plays hide-and-seek, and the way that Hide-and-seek, and the way that the team wins is everybody has The team wins is everybody has their hands on him at the same Their hands on him at the same time.
Time.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
look at his face! look at his face! so, another one we have is so, another one we have is two of every animal buffet.
Two of every animal buffet.
That is the one not to miss.
That is the one not to miss.
they got some really exotic they got some really exotic stuff.
Stuff.
They got otters.
They got otters.
They got 'dillo.
They got 'dillo.
They got lemur.
They got lemur.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
how about cankle pageant? how about cankle pageant? cankle pageant's not to miss.
cankle pageant's not to miss.
[ laughing .]
[ laughing .]
we broke him, we broke him.
we broke him, we broke him.
finally.
finally.
Cankle pageant's what got him.
Cankle pageant's what got him.
toots is in on the toots is in on the cankle pageant.
Cankle pageant.
Can't miss it.
Can't miss it.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
narrator: It was smooth narrator: It was smooth sailing for the guys, making joe and murr tonight's big losers.
Sailing for the guys, making joe and murr tonight's big losers.
ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! And murr tonight's big losers.
ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! They've done lost! ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh! They've done lost! Since we're on vacation, we're They've done lost! Since we're on vacation, we're doing things a little bit Since we're on vacation, we're doing things a little bit differently.
Doing things a little bit differently.
You're both getting punished.
Differently.
You're both getting punished.
normally, we'd punish them You're both getting punished.
normally, we'd punish them together.
normally, we'd punish them together.
This time, two punishments for Together.
This time, two punishments for two losers! This time, two punishments for two losers! murr, you're up first.
Two losers! murr, you're up first.
Get out there, baby.
murr, you're up first.
Get out there, baby.
murr, you're gonna give a Get out there, baby.
murr, you're gonna give a little speech, 'cause you're the murr, you're gonna give a little speech, 'cause you're the ship's masters of ceremony, my Little speech, 'cause you're the ship's masters of ceremony, my friend.
Ship's masters of ceremony, my friend.
The only problem is we wrote the Friend.
The only problem is we wrote the speech.
The only problem is we wrote the speech.
[ laughing .]
yes! Speech.
[ laughing .]
yes! Get out there, baby! [ laughing .]
yes! Get out there, baby! No, no.
You don't dance.
Get out there, baby! No, no.
You don't dance.
dancing's for winners, baby.
No, no.
You don't dance.
dancing's for winners, baby.
Dancing's for winners.
dancing's for winners, baby.
Dancing's for winners.
you don't never dance.
Dancing's for winners.
you don't never dance.
The entertainment is about to you don't never dance.
The entertainment is about to die down.
The entertainment is about to die down.
the real entertainer, please Die down.
the real entertainer, please stand up.
the real entertainer, please stand up.
[ audio feedback .]
Stand up.
[ audio feedback .]
[ laughs .]
[ audio feedback .]
[ laughs .]
is everyone enjoying the ship [ laughs .]
is everyone enjoying the ship so far? is everyone enjoying the ship so far? [ cheers and applause .]
So far? [ cheers and applause .]
people are on vacation.
[ cheers and applause .]
people are on vacation.
They're in vacation mode.
people are on vacation.
They're in vacation mode.
He's about to drop just some They're in vacation mode.
He's about to drop just some awkward, awkward stuff on them, He's about to drop just some awkward, awkward stuff on them, man.
Awkward, awkward stuff on them, man.
my name is james s.
Murray, Man.
my name is james s.
Murray, your master of ceremonies.
my name is james s.
Murray, your master of ceremonies.
Can I get a "what, what!" from Your master of ceremonies.
Can I get a "what, what!" from my single fellas? Can I get a "what, what!" from my single fellas? [ laughter .]
My single fellas? [ laughter .]
yeah, you know what I'm talking [ laughter .]
yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Single boys say "ho!" About.
Single boys say "ho!" [ laughter .]
Single boys say "ho!" [ laughter .]
a little about myself.
[ laughter .]
a little about myself.
I'm bald.
A little about myself.
I'm bald.
[ laughter .]
I'm bald.
[ laughter .]
the bald head is an important [ laughter .]
the bald head is an important element of seafaring.
The bald head is an important element of seafaring.
When we pass a ship, I reflect Element of seafaring.
When we pass a ship, I reflect a signal off my shiny, shiny When we pass a ship, I reflect a signal off my shiny, shiny scalp that says, "g'day, mate.
A signal off my shiny, shiny scalp that says, "g'day, mate.
Happy trails to youse.
" Scalp that says, "g'day, mate.
Happy trails to youse.
" [ laughter .]
Happy trails to youse.
" [ laughter .]
I used to sail with my dog.
[ laughter .]
I used to sail with my dog.
My first dog was a I used to sail with my dog.
My first dog was a german shepherd named delilah.
My first dog was a german shepherd named delilah.
She had beautiful, brown eyes German shepherd named delilah.
She had beautiful, brown eyes and a tongue that didn't quit.
She had beautiful, brown eyes and a tongue that didn't quit.
[ laughter .]
And a tongue that didn't quit.
[ laughter .]
please be careful when roaming [ laughter .]
please be careful when roaming the ship.
Please be careful when roaming the ship.
Last cruise, I went to the back The ship.
Last cruise, I went to the back of the ship, the aft, and I fell Last cruise, I went to the back of the ship, the aft, and I fell in a hole.
Of the ship, the aft, and I fell in a hole.
I was stuck in that aft hole for In a hole.
I was stuck in that aft hole for two weeks I was stuck in that aft hole for two weeks [ laughter .]
Two weeks [ laughter .]
Until someone came and found [ laughter .]
Until someone came and found me in that aft hole.
Until someone came and found me in that aft hole.
[ laughter .]
Me in that aft hole.
[ laughter .]
all right, you miserable [ laughter .]
all right, you miserable maggots, let's talk about the All right, you miserable maggots, let's talk about the sea.
Maggots, let's talk about the sea.
[ laughter, applause .]
Sea.
[ laughter, applause .]
he's the worst master of [ laughter, applause .]
he's the worst master of ceremonies ever.
he's the worst master of ceremonies ever.
I'll be honest, I don't do Ceremonies ever.
I'll be honest, I don't do well with geography.
I'll be honest, I don't do well with geography.
I don't even know what lake Well with geography.
I don't even know what lake we're on.
I don't even know what lake we're on.
[ laughter .]
We're on.
[ laughter .]
look at this guy! [ laughter .]
look at this guy! Look at this guy's face! look at this guy! Look at this guy's face! it's so nice to be surrounded Look at this guy's face! it's so nice to be surrounded by my good canadian brothers and it's so nice to be surrounded by my good canadian brothers and sisters again.
By my good canadian brothers and sisters again.
I spent way too much time Sisters again.
I spent way too much time visiting our ugly neighbor to I spent way too much time visiting our ugly neighbor to the south, the United States Visiting our ugly neighbor to the south, the United States [ laughter .]
The south, the United States [ laughter .]
Where the women are rougher [ laughter .]
Where the women are rougher than the men and the men have no Where the women are rougher than the men and the men have no manners.
Than the men and the men have no manners.
Karaoke's my absolute fave, and Manners.
Karaoke's my absolute fave, and you can do it now on deck three.
Karaoke's my absolute fave, and you can do it now on deck three.
[ laughter .]
You can do it now on deck three.
[ laughter .]
come holla at me.
[ laughter .]
come holla at me.
I'll be up in the aft.
Come holla at me.
I'll be up in the aft.
Single boys say, "ho!" I'll be up in the aft.
Single boys say, "ho!" [ audio feedback .]
Single boys say, "ho!" [ audio feedback .]
[ laughter .]
[ audio feedback .]
[ laughter .]
it said on there, "drop the [ laughter .]
it said on there, "drop the mike!" it said on there, "drop the mike!" it said, "drop the mike!" Mike!" it said, "drop the mike!" [ clapping .]
It said, "drop the mike!" [ clapping .]
oh, man! [ clapping .]
oh, man! yeah, nice work.
Oh, man! yeah, nice work.
yes! yeah, nice work.
yes! good day, sir.
yes! good day, sir.
[ laughs .]
good day, sir.
[ laughs .]
can't wait for my speech.
[ laughs .]
can't wait for my speech.
oh, no, no.
can't wait for my speech.
oh, no, no.
Speech -- no speech.
oh, no, no.
Speech -- no speech.
Put your bathing suit on and go Speech -- no speech.
Put your bathing suit on and go out to the deck.
Put your bathing suit on and go out to the deck.
[ laughter .]
Out to the deck.
[ laughter .]
and now it's joe's turn.
[ laughter .]
and now it's joe's turn.
[ laughs .]
And now it's joe's turn.
[ laughs .]
you might say that we saved [ laughs .]
you might say that we saved the worst for last.
you might say that we saved the worst for last.
[ laughs .]
The worst for last.
[ laughs .]
so, joe is about to crash a [ laughs .]
so, joe is about to crash a cannonball contest on the ship, so, joe is about to crash a cannonball contest on the ship, except he can only do belly Cannonball contest on the ship, except he can only do belly flops.
Except he can only do belly flops.
[ laughs .]
Flops.
[ laughs .]
and, joe, you can only stop [ laughs .]
and, joe, you can only stop when we say you can, buddy.
and, joe, you can only stop when we say you can, buddy.
[ laughs .]
When we say you can, buddy.
[ laughs .]
all right.
Here we go.
[ laughs .]
all right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
all right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
here we go, pal.
Here we go.
here we go, pal.
[ laughs .]
here we go, pal.
[ laughs .]
unveil the belly! [ laughs .]
unveil the belly! unleash the beast! unveil the belly! unleash the beast! oh, man.
There it is.
unleash the beast! oh, man.
There it is.
yeah.
[ laughs .]
oh, man.
There it is.
yeah.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
yeah.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
look at joe! [ laughs .]
look at joe! go, go, go! look at joe! go, go, go! uh-oh.
go, go, go! uh-oh.
go, joe! uh-oh.
go, joe! joe's a chicken! go, joe! joe's a chicken! there he goes! joe's a chicken! there he goes! [ laughter .]
there he goes! [ laughter .]
oh! That was painful.
[ laughter .]
oh! That was painful.
oh! oh! That was painful.
oh! joe, do it again, buddy.
oh! joe, do it again, buddy.
Here we go.
joe, do it again, buddy.
Here we go.
Cut the girl! Here we go.
Cut the girl! Cut the little girl! Cut the girl! Cut the little girl! [ laughs .]
Cut the little girl! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
the whole crowd goes "oh!" [ laughter .]
the whole crowd goes "oh!" oh, my god.
the whole crowd goes "oh!" oh, my god.
Help.
oh, my god.
Help.
again, buddy, again.
Help.
again, buddy, again.
[ laughter .]
again, buddy, again.
[ laughter .]
got the camera! [ laughter .]
got the camera! He got the camera! got the camera! He got the camera! The camera's like 20 feet away! He got the camera! The camera's like 20 feet away! I don't know if he's just The camera's like 20 feet away! I don't know if he's just trying to have fun with it or I don't know if he's just trying to have fun with it or he's lost his mind at this Trying to have fun with it or he's lost his mind at this point.
He's lost his mind at this point.
I don't know what's going on.
Point.
I don't know what's going on.
[ laughter .]
I don't know what's going on.
[ laughter .]
look at the difference [ laughter .]
look at the difference between his back and his front.
look at the difference between his back and his front.
Look.
Between his back and his front.
Look.
It's pale white and hot pink! Look.
It's pale white and hot pink! I'd be feeling so bad right It's pale white and hot pink! I'd be feeling so bad right now if the three of us didn't I'd be feeling so bad right now if the three of us didn't have tattoos on us that this Now if the three of us didn't have tattoos on us that this chump gave us for life.
Have tattoos on us that this chump gave us for life.
hey, jaden smith says hello, Chump gave us for life.
hey, jaden smith says hello, you dick.
hey, jaden smith says hello, you dick.
[ laughter .]
You dick.
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
I think I'm done, boys.
[ laughter .]
I think I'm done, boys.
It's really hurting.
I think I'm done, boys.
It's really hurting.
again, again! It's really hurting.
again, again! No mercy, no mercy.
again, again! No mercy, no mercy.
oh! No mercy, no mercy.
oh! I just wanted to take this oh! I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you guys I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you guys for what my punishment was.
Opportunity to thank you guys for what my punishment was.
[ laughter .]
For what my punishment was.
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd groans .]
all the fervor and life is [ crowd groans .]
all the fervor and life is being sucked out of him.
all the fervor and life is being sucked out of him.
oh, god.
Being sucked out of him.
oh, god.
[ laughter .]
oh, god.
[ laughter .]
he's exhausted.
[ laughter .]
he's exhausted.
if he was a video game, the he's exhausted.
if he was a video game, the life meter would be blinking.
if he was a video game, the life meter would be blinking.
[ laughs .]
Life meter would be blinking.
[ laughs .]
look at how red he is! [ laughs .]
look at how red he is! oh, my god! look at how red he is! oh, my god! Look at his stomach! [ crowd groans .]
[ laughs .]
he's done.
[ laughs .]
he's done.
He's done.
He's done.
yeah, we got to let him off yeah, we got to let him off the hook.
The hook.
he is done.
he is done.
nice work, buddy.
nice work, buddy.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
now you can dance.
now you can dance.
[ laughter .]