Party of Five s04e13 Episode Script
Parent Trap
Think.
It's dumb.
No, come on.
Do you do you want to make love on the beach like From here to eternity or In a romantic mountain cabin like what was that movie? Ok, ok.
My fantasy Is one night with you alone, without Nat: Mommy! Yeah.
Not that I don't love nat.
Mommy! Shh! She'll hear you.
And that would be so bad because We've been over this.
I'm coming, honey! Mommy, I'm scared.
There's a monster in my room.
No, sweetheart, there isn't, ok? Come on, I'm gonna show you.
No.
Honey Look, we we talked about this, ok, sweetheart? You're a big girl, and and you have to sleep in your own room.
Read to me? Ok.
In your room.
Uh-uh.
My favorite's in here.
Ok.
One story.
Yes.
From the beginning.
Don't skip.
Ok.
"Once upon a time, "there was a troll who loved a Princess.
"She lived in a castle, "he lived in a cave.
The cave was dark and very, very small.
" Everybody wants to live like they wanna live and everybody wants to love Like they wanna love everybody wants to be closer to free-ee-ee-ee closer to free Who put the ice tray away empty? Client number 2282.
Jule, we're out of ice.
Salinger.
Julia salinger.
Is there some coffee made, jule? And where is that address, downtown? Hey, jule Can I borrow your earrings? I'll be there.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Does anyone care that I was on the phone with the temp agency getting a job? I need something cold.
I got this rash.
That's disgusting.
Ok, I have to be out of here in, like, 2 minutes.
Owen, are you ready? I'm gonna take you to day care, and Griffin's gonna pick you up.
Where's his lunch box? Wait, hold on a second.
I can't just close up the shop.
For, like, 5 minutes.
Bring him home.
Claudia'll baby-sit.
Are you wearing makeup? Griffin: I can't.
What if a customer comes when I'm closed? Griffin, I can't do everything.
Claud, are you taller? Actually, I'm Julia: Those are my boots.
And my persuasion.
I was gonna ask.
Re those my earrings? Yeah.
What do you think? Do you like 'em? Yeah, I like 'em.
They're mine.
Take 'em off.
It's a rash.
I know that.
I mean, I can see that, but What does it mean? Is it normal? There is no normal.
Everybody responds differently to radiation.
I know.
And my body responds with nausea, fatigue, and mouth sores, but this is This is a rash.
I mean, you gotta be able to give me something for this.
Did you try the cortisone? It didn't work.
I'm still itching.
Charlie, I know it's uncomfortable It's not that.
It's just I mean, it's This is just a rash.
You've gotta be able to give me something for this.
Charlie I understand you're frustrated, but everything takes time.
Call me if you need anything.
Annie, on phone: Ok, tonight's the night.
For what? I definitely said 12 pounds tuna, 12 pounds salmon.
This is all salmon.
What you wanted.
A whole night.
You, me, alone.
Natalie begged to sleep at Melissa's, and I usually don't allow sleep-overs on the weekdays, but I decided to make an exception.
An exception.
Well, that's great, but hey! Don't you think we should've talked about this first? They don't pay me to talk.
They pay me to deliver.
Not you.
My girlfriend.
I thought you'd be happy.
I am happy.
Good.
I'm leaving.
Wait.
I went shopping.
I bought all your favorite food.
Order says salmon.
Yeah, well, that was a mistake.
Obviously.
Not you.
The delivery guy.
Look, Annie, all I'm saying is, if you had asked me, I would've told you I have to work all night tonight.
I know.
But you have to go to school all day.
And you think I like that? Don't you think I'd rather be home with you Wait a second! Call my dispatcher.
I was just hoping I can't.
Number's on the invoice.
But you said I gotta go.
Bailey! I gotta go! What am I supposed to do with 25 pounds of salmon? Reed? Look, before you say anything, uh I'm sorry.
Really, really, really sorry.
It's ok, salinger.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
I mean, what I did to you the other day, screaming at you like that, it was incredibly, uh, I don't know, not like me.
Not like me at all.
I know.
Just between you and Charlie and everything that's going on at home right now, I guess I I don't know.
I just i i freaked! It's ok, salinger.
It is? I get it.
Wow.
That is, like, so So understanding.
Forget about it, huh? I have.
Hey, salinger, did you, like, do something different to your hair? Well, I I curled it back.
Well, it looks nice.
Oh Claudia, where the hell are you? Right here! Owen, Owen, get over here! Claudia, I can't have Owen down here.
I went home, and you're supposed to baby-sit Owen? Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen, watch it now.
Watch it.
Uhh! Gosh That your son? What? Oh, no.
No.
He's my brother-in-law.
Owen, come here.
Meet Mac.
Mac's a supplier.
He gives us supplies for the shop.
Giving isn't exactly the idea.
Uh Right.
Sorry.
Poor choice of words.
Your check bounced.
Again.
Wha uh Owen, no! Hey, hey, hey, come here.
You know, you owe me for 3 months.
I want payment in full, in cash, by Friday, or I take that computer back.
No, wait, come on.
There's got to be another way for us to work this out.
All right? All right, you take the computer, it's gonna take me, like Twice 3 times as long to get all this work done.
All right? Look, see my sign over there? It says, "overnight service.
" That's why people come here.
Because I'm fast.
Right? If I'm not fast, they're not gonna come.
If they don't come, I don't get my money.
If I don't get my money, then I'm never gonna be able to give you what I owe you.
Friday.
Uh Whoa! Whoa! Owen! If Paul saw me at an herbalist, he'd file for divorce.
Doctors all think it's some kind of voodoo or something.
Charlie salinger.
Dr.
fong.
Uh, do I call you doctor? You should know I'm not really a firm believer in this stuff.
I mean, I want to believe Show me your tongue.
Hmm.
You have hodgkin's disease.
Wow! That's incredible.
It took my doctors weeks and about a million tests to figure that out, and they still missed it the first time.
You also have a rash.
Yes.
That's amazing! How did you know that? Little bumps on your neck.
Oh.
Radiation, correct? Yeah.
Hmm You expose yourself to inorganic rays at the speed of light, what do you expect? Of course you'll have a reaction.
Western medicine.
They'll poison your body in order to cure it.
Try this And this And these.
These are actually gonna help me? They'll help your rash.
First things first.
No, I'm not kidding.
I want 3 salmon specials Poached, mousse, and I don't care.
Sushi.
Bailey, it's Annie.
I'll call her back.
Not on the phone.
Here.
I know, I know.
You're crazed.
I just wanted to come by here and then When you have 5 minutes of down time Bailey, we're way overbooked at 6:00.
I'm not gonna have any down time.
Tonight's not gonna work.
But Natalie's gonna be home tomorrow.
Well, that's fine.
Then tomorrow I'll come by and we'll sit nat down and we'll finally tell her No.
I told you, I don't want to tell nat about us.
Not yet.
Well, then what? We keep sneaking around? I could barely move my neck.
Oh, well! You know what? There's a reason for me to change my whole parenting philosophy.
Annie, we're together.
I want to tell the whole world we're together.
Why can't you tell nat? 'Cause She's not the whole world.
Ok? She's my daughter.
And she's only 7 years old, and I am not gonna turn her whole life upside down because we want to sleep together! Now, look.
Bailey, Natalie believes mommies sleep with daddies.
What's she gonna think when she wakes up and she sees you there in the morning? You're her new daddy? And is this a good thing, or are you gonna be exactly like her real daddy and just leave? No.
I'm not gonna leave.
How do you know? I mean We've only been seeing each other for, like, 3 months.
Can you be absolutely sure? I have to be careful what I promise my daughter.
Damn! Damn, damn! You owe me money! Owen, what? It's 7:30.
Where have you been? I've been working.
Where do you think? What is Owen yelling? "Damn, you owe me money, damn.
" 'Cause he's been at the shop with me all day.
The shop? With all that stuff that's toxic and dangerous? Well, beats leaving him here alone.
Claudia! Hey, I never said I'd baby-sit.
Damn! Damn! Owen, stop it.
Look, he's covered in grease.
Did you even think of giving him a bath? That's my job, too? Hey, I was working! Yeah? Well, I should've been working, not here watching your little brother! Has he eaten yet? I don't know.
Did you bring home some dinner? There's chicken in the fridge.
What do you want me to do, cook it? Yes.
Well, i no! That's not the way it works, all right? I'm working all day.
I'm not coming home to cooking and cleaning and screaming kids! Damn! You owe me money.
Damn! I gotta get outta here.
I'm going back to the shop.
Julia: Owen, are you God! What is that smell? It's Dr.
fong's herbal tea.
It's not that bad.
Ew! Has anybody seen my bag? Yuck! Oh! Rotten eggs! Charlie's tea, and apparently it's not that bad.
Plus it's gonna help me get rid of this rash, so you can both just spare me the editorial comment.
What is in this, anyway? "Water buffalo gallstones, dried human placenta" Oh.
Where's the eye of newt? Very funny.
No offense, Charlie, but I think this is a load of crap.
"Cow dung.
" No.
It's in my clothes.
I gotta change.
P.
U.
! Look, you guys, it's not that bad, so just open a window or buy some air freshener or something.
I don't care.
I'm drinking this.
Come on, Owen, time to get you dressed.
That is really gross.
Annie.
Annie? What are you doing? Brushing my teeth.
Is this like one of those toothpaste commercials where The girl jumps out of bed and quickly brushes her teeth so she can jump back in bed and kiss her boyfriend with a minty-fresh mouth? No.
This is like real life, where the girl jumps out of bed to start her day.
Why? I mean, I didn't even get here till, like, 3:00 in the morning.
Isn't Melissa's mom taking nat straight to school? That's the plan.
Well? I don't have to be at school till, like, 9:30.
Bailey What? I have things to do.
What could be more important than this? We could hang out in bed for a while Maybe make some coffee I make a mean Denver omelet.
Will you put cheese in it? And tomatoes and peppers Any way you like it.
All right.
Let me make a call.
You're leaving without even saying good-bye? I gotta go to work.
But you were there until I had a lot of stuff to do.
I tried to wait up, but, um You're never supposed to go to bed mad.
You know that? My mom used to tell me that.
One morning I came downstairs, and there was coffee burning on the stove, the TV was on, my parents were asleep on the kitchen table.
I don't know if they ever worked that one out, but They tried.
I'm not mad, jule.
Then what? Oh, I don't know.
I I'm I'm frustrated.
It's like I come home from work and it's like I've had this terrible day and business sucks and I want to tell you everything.
I really do.
But it's either Owen's crying or Charlie's throwing up or Claudia's Who knows what she's doing? I know it's not your fault And I know you have to deal with this, too, but I don't know.
How did this happen? It's like one second ago, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
I mean, god! We made love under that tree! Shh! Nobody knows about that.
It's like, now we're like this old married couple, barely talking Sniping at each other all the time.
What are we gonna do? Never go to sleep angry.
Girl: "Dear Reed, I'm so happy we're back together.
" Oh, god.
"I don't know what I'd do without you.
" Underlined.
Hey! This is hysterical! What do you think you're doing? Nothing.
Oh, wait.
Is this That letter's not for you.
That's Reed's locker.
Uh, not anymore.
He asked me to trade with him.
Maybe he wanted to get away from you.
Uh, "sa" Sal " salinger.
Ha! It is you.
Leave her alone.
Hi, Reed.
Just leave her alone.
Brought you something.
I found it at this amazing bookstore in Berkeley.
They've got all this great stuff on acupuncture and meditation.
Thanks.
You've been drinking your tea? and twice today, just like "the doctor" ordered, and I'm still itching.
Remember that camping trip we took to yellowstone and you wanted to go home because of all the mosquitoes? I told you you should've brought the net.
Yeah.
Well, it's exactly like that, only about a million times worse.
I'll get you some ice.
Don't bother.
It doesn't help.
Nothing helps.
It's like A horror movie.
Like invasion of the body snatchers or something.
I just gotta sit here while this thing I have absolutely no control over eats at me.
Charlie, come on.
I mean, I know you're upset, but We're talking about a rash.
It's not just a rash, ok? It's not just a rash.
I mean What did I expect, anyway? Like herbs can cure anything.
What are they? Nothing.
Powder.
You know, as long as we're talking about it, what's radiation? Light.
What the hell is that? What if it's all voodoo? What if none of it works? That'd really be something, huh? Julia.
Oh.
Um I hope you don't mind.
I used my key.
Oh.
No, no.
Definitely not.
The temp agency didn't have any work for me today, so I thought I'd, you know, help out here with the Books or something.
Then I, uh Started paying the bills, but There's not a lot of money here.
Uh, yeah.
Um Don't don't worry, because Last night, I worked it all out.
Look.
The money that I'm holding for Howie, it's making, like, Uh-huh.
So if I take that out of the bank Howie's money? Yeah.
Just for a couple of days.
I can pay off my computer and take care of all these jobs.
Griffin I'll have the money back in the bank before Howie even knows it's gone.
And what if you can't? See, I've got, like, 10 job orders lined up.
It it's not your money, Griffin.
God, it's Howie's, and you don't even know where he got it.
You don't even know what kind of business he's in.
I told you, I'll pay it back.
He won't even know it's gone.
And what if he does? Have you thought about that? He beat you up on your wedding day.
What is he gonna do next? I can handle this.
Obviously you can't! There is, like, no money here! You're not sleeping, and you're barely eating.
And now you're coming up with schemes to steal stolen money? It's not a scheme! It's a plan! A bad plan, a plan that's gonna make things worse.
That's your damn opinion, Julia.
But you know what? I don't need it.
You know, y-you're my wife.
You're supposed to support me.
If you can't do that, then do me a favor.
Stay home! All right? Did you hear me? Just go home.
Hey.
Whoa! Too bad I got to get to work.
You look great.
A lot of good it did me.
He wouldn't even see me.
Who? The guy from the insurance company.
I mean, I got all dressed up and went all the way downtown, and then the receptionist The receptionist Says to me, "I'm sorry, miss mott, but the position's been filled.
" Wait a minute You had a job interview? I mean, so what if I rescheduled it for a few hours? I mean, he could've at least waited Hold on.
You rescheduled an interview? This morning.
I told you that.
When you wanted to stay in bed, I told you that I had things to do.
"Things.
" "Things" are like Shopping Or getting your car washed.
"Things" are not job interviews.
I called and I changed it from 10:00 to 4:00.
I mean, what's the big deal? The big deal Is that at 10:00 there was a job, and at 4:00 there wasn't.
Well, how was I supposed to know that? It doesn't matter.
You need a job, you don't reschedule an interview.
Yeah, but I did this for you! Well, don't.
Don't do that.
You shouldn't do stuff like that for me.
You know, you're impossible.
One second, you're saying we're never alone together, so I, like, twist myself into a pretzel trying to find some time for us to be alone, but that's wrong, too.
You know, I can't win with you.
That was really nice, what you did for me.
I mean, sticking up for me like that.
No one ever does that.
It's no big deal.
Well, maybe for you, but To me, it Meant a lot.
Look, salinger I love when you call me that.
I read your letter.
Good.
Good.
I mean, I wrote it to you.
Listen.
Somehow And I don't know how, but You've got, like, the wrong idea.
We're not together.
But I thought Well, I mean, I thought you said that you forgave me.
I did.
That still doesn't mean I'm not your boyfriend, Claudia.
I told you that before.
I mean I like you a lot, and we're friends Well, sure, now, 'cause I mean, you're just not You're just not thinking about it in the right way.
Look at Jane eyre and And Rochester.
I mean, he thought of her as a governess for, like For, like chapters And she turned out to be the love of his life.
Claudia, that's a novel.
It's fiction.
Did you really ask that girl to trade lockers with you? I'm sorry.
Owen, stop playing with your food.
Owen! Oh, man Yeah.
Client 2282.
Salinger.
Julia salinger.
I'm not going to school.
Where? The Richmond district? I said I'm not going to school.
Ok.
I'll be there.
Thanks.
Fine.
Don't go to school.
Don't you even want to know why? Claudia, it's fine.
Just be home when Owen gets here, ok? Where are my keys? Have you seen my keys? Charlie, I'm Whatever it is, talk to Julia.
I couldn't sleep last night.
I kept thinking about Everything.
I want to tell nat about us.
Wait a minute.
The way I've been acting, making excuses, blaming other people It's like my old routines.
You know, it's like I'm drinking again.
Don't do this, Annie.
No.
I have to.
I mean, hiding you under my bed.
That's where I used to hide my bottles.
We just talked about this and you had, like, a hundred reasons why it was a terrible idea.
I was wrong.
Are you doing this for me? Because I'm not.
I mean, what is the whole a.
A.
Thing? Take responsibility for your choices.
Deal with the consequences.
That's why I'm doing this.
I have to be straight with nat.
Ok.
Charlie? Charlie? Wait.
I must be in the wrong house.
Is that Charlie salinger meditating? It's, just, you never struck me as the type.
I probably never struck you as the cancer type either, but There it is.
Is it helping? Who knows? I mean, it's It's weird.
They tell you to make up a mantra.
You know, something to clear your head, and And all I keep thinking is, god, I hope this works.
God, I hope this works.
Not exactly stress-relieving, huh? Yeah, but it's something.
I'm doing something.
I read this article this morning, and they found some plant in Mexico that cures cancer in mice.
And I'm thinking, should I get on a plane? Does it just cure mice? Do they have to be Mexican mice? I mean, I swear, if someone told me that swinging a black cat over my head 3 times right now would cure this thing, I'd be, like, get me a black cat.
Oh, man.
I've really lost it, haven't I? What am I thinking? Plants in Mexico, meditating I don't know.
But since we've been talking You haven't been scratching.
Yeah, I, uh Just have to retard the spark a few degrees, but I can have it back to you tomorrow.
That quick? Yeah, yeah.
Thanks to this baby.
She saves you money 'cause she saves me time.
See you.
Place looks good, kid.
You got customers, technology, almost like a regular business.
What do you want, Howie? What? Can't an old friend just stop by to say hey to a pal? Do I always have to want something? Hey.
Write me a check, huh? What? Out of our account.
Say, 8 grand? What that'll leave the account at practically zero.
Yeah? Well, it'll clean us out.
Yeah? We won't have anything left! We? It's my money.
Write the check.
Thanks.
Hey.
I'll call you.
Uh, yeah, hi.
This is Griffin holbrook.
Yeah.
What? Oh, no, no.
Account transfers.
Uh what? Oh, hold Hold on.
Uh It's account number 009481.
Yeah, yeah.
I requested a transfer A $10,000 transfer this morning between accounts.
Wait yeah no, I need to cancel.
I thought about telling her that she would be doubly safe having 2 grownups sleeping here, you know, 'cause she's afraid of monsters.
But that just implies that she's only half as safe when you're not here, so Wait wait a minute.
I thought the whole idea was to be honest.
Come on.
Nat? Bailey and I have something we want to tell you.
Want to see my picture? It's Bailey.
Hey.
You made me tall.
Thanks.
Nat, honey, from now on, Bailey's gonna spend a lot more time with us.
He already eats dinner with us sometimes.
You like that, right? Well Now He's gonna be sleeping here, too.
He'll read you bedtime stories.
Bailey: The Princess and the troll.
And he'll eat breakfast with us in the morning.
Maybe he'll even braid your hair.
Bailey: Yeah.
But you're gonna have to teach me how to do that.
Will you do that, nat? Will you teach Bailey how to braid your hair? You're not my daddy.
Give us a minute.
Yeah.
Hey! Doesn't anybody answer the phone in this house? Ah Yeah? What? No, he's not here right now.
What No, I'm not responsible for her.
Wait a minute.
Why? No, I'll take care of it.
I'll take care of it.
Claudia! Claudia! Claudia! Your school just called and they said that you weren't there today.
I wasn't.
That's it? "I wasn't"? Turn the music off! Now, you can't just not go to school.
You think I can just not go to work? I took a sad day.
Ok, Reed and I had a fight.
Reed? That's what this is about? Boy stuff?! That's why you didn't go to school? Your brother is sick up there, and your sister is bustin' her butt at work.
That's what you're thinking about? You can't be that stupid! Griffin! That is enough.
No, it's not.
No, it's not enough.
What do you want to do, send her to her room? Make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush? Hit her? God, Griffin, where does that come from? You're yelling at me, you're yelling at Claudia.
I don't even know who you are anymore! It's like It's like you're your father.
Charlie: Would you guys shut up! I'm meditating! Charlie? Not now, claud.
Can I just talk to you for a second? Not now.
I'm meditating.
Hey.
I got chocolate cream and jelly-filled for breakfast.
Not now, Bailey.
Come on, mommy.
Come in.
Hey.
You're up.
And you're out of your pajamas.
What's the occasion? A good night's sleep.
I actually feel Almost normal.
And look.
No more rash.
I am officially amongst the rash-free.
So for all those skeptics out there in America, including you, meditation works.
Huh.
Your rash is gone, and it went away last night? Yep.
I wonder if it was the detergent.
Excuse me? I switched detergents.
There was a sale.
But wait a minute.
My rash is gone.
I'm not itching anymore.
Yeah, I know, but yesterday I switched back.
Julia I'm sorry.
I'll never use coupons again.
I called you last night.
I didn't get the message.
Because I hung up.
Look, I know you're you're not my boyfriend, and I mean, I knew that, and I don't care.
I mean I I do care.
A lot.
But that's That's not what I'm asking for.
Can't we just talk for a second? Claudia Like we used to.
Please? What do you want to talk about? Anything.
Sports Life Could you believe Corey zipperstein in assembly this morning? Claudia, I can't.
I mean i mean, it used to be so easy with you.
That was, like, the great part.
But now, I don't know, you take everything wrong.
Well, I won't.
I won't.
I mean, I'll stop doing that.
I promise.
I say your clothes look nice, and you think I'm your boyfriend.
I ask about your brother, and you think I, like, love you.
I gotta go work out.
You know, I really thought I'd done something.
Me.
I felt like some kind of superhero, you know? Cancer man.
I thought I could go into radiation today and say, "come on.
Nuke me.
I can take it.
I've got this super weapon.
" What an amazing jerk I was.
Charlie My rash didn't have anything to do with the radiation.
It was Julia and Coupons.
So? Well, for one second I felt like I had the tiniest bit of control.
I felt like there's something I can do to beat this back, but Kirsten, what if I can't? What if you did? You had a rash, Charlie.
And now it's gone.
And you know what? Maybe it was the detergent.
Maybe it wasn't.
Maybe it was the meditation.
Maybe it was you.
You home? I'm not like my father, Julia.
Are we still talking about this? I've been thinking about it all day.
I mean Yeah, I blew up.
You called Claudia stupid.
She was acting like a jerk! I'm You know, Griffin, I remember once you came over After your dad had, like, whaled on you.
God.
You slammed my bedroom door and knocked a picture off the wall.
And you said, "what right does he have to make us feel bad just because he had a rotten day?" That was totally different.
When my father lost it, he had no reason.
And you do? Yeah, I do, ok? Howie took back all of his money.
They repossessed my computer.
I'm gonna lose all of my customers.
You just don't get it.
No.
Griffin, that's the thing I do.
I get that you're in way over your head.
That you're 19 years old and you feel like you're 40 or something.
And everybody's putting demands on you, and you're scared to death that you can't handle them.
And there's this One person This person who you're supposed to love.
And you want to say to them "Fix it.
Fix everything.
" Well, I feel exactly the same way.
What are you doing? I'm going inside.
Owen's coming down with a cold or something.
It's better if I sleep in there.
Are you coming with me? No.
I'm gonna stay here.
One of us should get some sleep.
Hey.
You're still doing this meditation thing, huh? Yeah, well You never know.
Charlie Yeah? It's helping.
Does she know I'm here? I'm sure she can hear you.
And she's staying in her room.
Wow.
She'll adjust, Bailey.
I'm sure of it.
It's just Gonna take some time.
Ok.
Then we give her time.
Pretty amazing, isn't it? We did all this to spend more time together, and now Right.
Well, maybe I'll see you at the meeting in the morning.
I can't go till the afternoon.
But maybe I'll stop by the restaurant.
It's gonna be crazy there.
But if I get a break during the day, I'll give you a call.
Ok.
Ok.
Annie: Good night.
Bailey: Good night.
It's dumb.
No, come on.
Do you do you want to make love on the beach like From here to eternity or In a romantic mountain cabin like what was that movie? Ok, ok.
My fantasy Is one night with you alone, without Nat: Mommy! Yeah.
Not that I don't love nat.
Mommy! Shh! She'll hear you.
And that would be so bad because We've been over this.
I'm coming, honey! Mommy, I'm scared.
There's a monster in my room.
No, sweetheart, there isn't, ok? Come on, I'm gonna show you.
No.
Honey Look, we we talked about this, ok, sweetheart? You're a big girl, and and you have to sleep in your own room.
Read to me? Ok.
In your room.
Uh-uh.
My favorite's in here.
Ok.
One story.
Yes.
From the beginning.
Don't skip.
Ok.
"Once upon a time, "there was a troll who loved a Princess.
"She lived in a castle, "he lived in a cave.
The cave was dark and very, very small.
" Everybody wants to live like they wanna live and everybody wants to love Like they wanna love everybody wants to be closer to free-ee-ee-ee closer to free Who put the ice tray away empty? Client number 2282.
Jule, we're out of ice.
Salinger.
Julia salinger.
Is there some coffee made, jule? And where is that address, downtown? Hey, jule Can I borrow your earrings? I'll be there.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
Does anyone care that I was on the phone with the temp agency getting a job? I need something cold.
I got this rash.
That's disgusting.
Ok, I have to be out of here in, like, 2 minutes.
Owen, are you ready? I'm gonna take you to day care, and Griffin's gonna pick you up.
Where's his lunch box? Wait, hold on a second.
I can't just close up the shop.
For, like, 5 minutes.
Bring him home.
Claudia'll baby-sit.
Are you wearing makeup? Griffin: I can't.
What if a customer comes when I'm closed? Griffin, I can't do everything.
Claud, are you taller? Actually, I'm Julia: Those are my boots.
And my persuasion.
I was gonna ask.
Re those my earrings? Yeah.
What do you think? Do you like 'em? Yeah, I like 'em.
They're mine.
Take 'em off.
It's a rash.
I know that.
I mean, I can see that, but What does it mean? Is it normal? There is no normal.
Everybody responds differently to radiation.
I know.
And my body responds with nausea, fatigue, and mouth sores, but this is This is a rash.
I mean, you gotta be able to give me something for this.
Did you try the cortisone? It didn't work.
I'm still itching.
Charlie, I know it's uncomfortable It's not that.
It's just I mean, it's This is just a rash.
You've gotta be able to give me something for this.
Charlie I understand you're frustrated, but everything takes time.
Call me if you need anything.
Annie, on phone: Ok, tonight's the night.
For what? I definitely said 12 pounds tuna, 12 pounds salmon.
This is all salmon.
What you wanted.
A whole night.
You, me, alone.
Natalie begged to sleep at Melissa's, and I usually don't allow sleep-overs on the weekdays, but I decided to make an exception.
An exception.
Well, that's great, but hey! Don't you think we should've talked about this first? They don't pay me to talk.
They pay me to deliver.
Not you.
My girlfriend.
I thought you'd be happy.
I am happy.
Good.
I'm leaving.
Wait.
I went shopping.
I bought all your favorite food.
Order says salmon.
Yeah, well, that was a mistake.
Obviously.
Not you.
The delivery guy.
Look, Annie, all I'm saying is, if you had asked me, I would've told you I have to work all night tonight.
I know.
But you have to go to school all day.
And you think I like that? Don't you think I'd rather be home with you Wait a second! Call my dispatcher.
I was just hoping I can't.
Number's on the invoice.
But you said I gotta go.
Bailey! I gotta go! What am I supposed to do with 25 pounds of salmon? Reed? Look, before you say anything, uh I'm sorry.
Really, really, really sorry.
It's ok, salinger.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
I mean, what I did to you the other day, screaming at you like that, it was incredibly, uh, I don't know, not like me.
Not like me at all.
I know.
Just between you and Charlie and everything that's going on at home right now, I guess I I don't know.
I just i i freaked! It's ok, salinger.
It is? I get it.
Wow.
That is, like, so So understanding.
Forget about it, huh? I have.
Hey, salinger, did you, like, do something different to your hair? Well, I I curled it back.
Well, it looks nice.
Oh Claudia, where the hell are you? Right here! Owen, Owen, get over here! Claudia, I can't have Owen down here.
I went home, and you're supposed to baby-sit Owen? Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen, watch it now.
Watch it.
Uhh! Gosh That your son? What? Oh, no.
No.
He's my brother-in-law.
Owen, come here.
Meet Mac.
Mac's a supplier.
He gives us supplies for the shop.
Giving isn't exactly the idea.
Uh Right.
Sorry.
Poor choice of words.
Your check bounced.
Again.
Wha uh Owen, no! Hey, hey, hey, come here.
You know, you owe me for 3 months.
I want payment in full, in cash, by Friday, or I take that computer back.
No, wait, come on.
There's got to be another way for us to work this out.
All right? All right, you take the computer, it's gonna take me, like Twice 3 times as long to get all this work done.
All right? Look, see my sign over there? It says, "overnight service.
" That's why people come here.
Because I'm fast.
Right? If I'm not fast, they're not gonna come.
If they don't come, I don't get my money.
If I don't get my money, then I'm never gonna be able to give you what I owe you.
Friday.
Uh Whoa! Whoa! Owen! If Paul saw me at an herbalist, he'd file for divorce.
Doctors all think it's some kind of voodoo or something.
Charlie salinger.
Dr.
fong.
Uh, do I call you doctor? You should know I'm not really a firm believer in this stuff.
I mean, I want to believe Show me your tongue.
Hmm.
You have hodgkin's disease.
Wow! That's incredible.
It took my doctors weeks and about a million tests to figure that out, and they still missed it the first time.
You also have a rash.
Yes.
That's amazing! How did you know that? Little bumps on your neck.
Oh.
Radiation, correct? Yeah.
Hmm You expose yourself to inorganic rays at the speed of light, what do you expect? Of course you'll have a reaction.
Western medicine.
They'll poison your body in order to cure it.
Try this And this And these.
These are actually gonna help me? They'll help your rash.
First things first.
No, I'm not kidding.
I want 3 salmon specials Poached, mousse, and I don't care.
Sushi.
Bailey, it's Annie.
I'll call her back.
Not on the phone.
Here.
I know, I know.
You're crazed.
I just wanted to come by here and then When you have 5 minutes of down time Bailey, we're way overbooked at 6:00.
I'm not gonna have any down time.
Tonight's not gonna work.
But Natalie's gonna be home tomorrow.
Well, that's fine.
Then tomorrow I'll come by and we'll sit nat down and we'll finally tell her No.
I told you, I don't want to tell nat about us.
Not yet.
Well, then what? We keep sneaking around? I could barely move my neck.
Oh, well! You know what? There's a reason for me to change my whole parenting philosophy.
Annie, we're together.
I want to tell the whole world we're together.
Why can't you tell nat? 'Cause She's not the whole world.
Ok? She's my daughter.
And she's only 7 years old, and I am not gonna turn her whole life upside down because we want to sleep together! Now, look.
Bailey, Natalie believes mommies sleep with daddies.
What's she gonna think when she wakes up and she sees you there in the morning? You're her new daddy? And is this a good thing, or are you gonna be exactly like her real daddy and just leave? No.
I'm not gonna leave.
How do you know? I mean We've only been seeing each other for, like, 3 months.
Can you be absolutely sure? I have to be careful what I promise my daughter.
Damn! Damn, damn! You owe me money! Owen, what? It's 7:30.
Where have you been? I've been working.
Where do you think? What is Owen yelling? "Damn, you owe me money, damn.
" 'Cause he's been at the shop with me all day.
The shop? With all that stuff that's toxic and dangerous? Well, beats leaving him here alone.
Claudia! Hey, I never said I'd baby-sit.
Damn! Damn! Owen, stop it.
Look, he's covered in grease.
Did you even think of giving him a bath? That's my job, too? Hey, I was working! Yeah? Well, I should've been working, not here watching your little brother! Has he eaten yet? I don't know.
Did you bring home some dinner? There's chicken in the fridge.
What do you want me to do, cook it? Yes.
Well, i no! That's not the way it works, all right? I'm working all day.
I'm not coming home to cooking and cleaning and screaming kids! Damn! You owe me money.
Damn! I gotta get outta here.
I'm going back to the shop.
Julia: Owen, are you God! What is that smell? It's Dr.
fong's herbal tea.
It's not that bad.
Ew! Has anybody seen my bag? Yuck! Oh! Rotten eggs! Charlie's tea, and apparently it's not that bad.
Plus it's gonna help me get rid of this rash, so you can both just spare me the editorial comment.
What is in this, anyway? "Water buffalo gallstones, dried human placenta" Oh.
Where's the eye of newt? Very funny.
No offense, Charlie, but I think this is a load of crap.
"Cow dung.
" No.
It's in my clothes.
I gotta change.
P.
U.
! Look, you guys, it's not that bad, so just open a window or buy some air freshener or something.
I don't care.
I'm drinking this.
Come on, Owen, time to get you dressed.
That is really gross.
Annie.
Annie? What are you doing? Brushing my teeth.
Is this like one of those toothpaste commercials where The girl jumps out of bed and quickly brushes her teeth so she can jump back in bed and kiss her boyfriend with a minty-fresh mouth? No.
This is like real life, where the girl jumps out of bed to start her day.
Why? I mean, I didn't even get here till, like, 3:00 in the morning.
Isn't Melissa's mom taking nat straight to school? That's the plan.
Well? I don't have to be at school till, like, 9:30.
Bailey What? I have things to do.
What could be more important than this? We could hang out in bed for a while Maybe make some coffee I make a mean Denver omelet.
Will you put cheese in it? And tomatoes and peppers Any way you like it.
All right.
Let me make a call.
You're leaving without even saying good-bye? I gotta go to work.
But you were there until I had a lot of stuff to do.
I tried to wait up, but, um You're never supposed to go to bed mad.
You know that? My mom used to tell me that.
One morning I came downstairs, and there was coffee burning on the stove, the TV was on, my parents were asleep on the kitchen table.
I don't know if they ever worked that one out, but They tried.
I'm not mad, jule.
Then what? Oh, I don't know.
I I'm I'm frustrated.
It's like I come home from work and it's like I've had this terrible day and business sucks and I want to tell you everything.
I really do.
But it's either Owen's crying or Charlie's throwing up or Claudia's Who knows what she's doing? I know it's not your fault And I know you have to deal with this, too, but I don't know.
How did this happen? It's like one second ago, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
I mean, god! We made love under that tree! Shh! Nobody knows about that.
It's like, now we're like this old married couple, barely talking Sniping at each other all the time.
What are we gonna do? Never go to sleep angry.
Girl: "Dear Reed, I'm so happy we're back together.
" Oh, god.
"I don't know what I'd do without you.
" Underlined.
Hey! This is hysterical! What do you think you're doing? Nothing.
Oh, wait.
Is this That letter's not for you.
That's Reed's locker.
Uh, not anymore.
He asked me to trade with him.
Maybe he wanted to get away from you.
Uh, "sa" Sal " salinger.
Ha! It is you.
Leave her alone.
Hi, Reed.
Just leave her alone.
Brought you something.
I found it at this amazing bookstore in Berkeley.
They've got all this great stuff on acupuncture and meditation.
Thanks.
You've been drinking your tea? and twice today, just like "the doctor" ordered, and I'm still itching.
Remember that camping trip we took to yellowstone and you wanted to go home because of all the mosquitoes? I told you you should've brought the net.
Yeah.
Well, it's exactly like that, only about a million times worse.
I'll get you some ice.
Don't bother.
It doesn't help.
Nothing helps.
It's like A horror movie.
Like invasion of the body snatchers or something.
I just gotta sit here while this thing I have absolutely no control over eats at me.
Charlie, come on.
I mean, I know you're upset, but We're talking about a rash.
It's not just a rash, ok? It's not just a rash.
I mean What did I expect, anyway? Like herbs can cure anything.
What are they? Nothing.
Powder.
You know, as long as we're talking about it, what's radiation? Light.
What the hell is that? What if it's all voodoo? What if none of it works? That'd really be something, huh? Julia.
Oh.
Um I hope you don't mind.
I used my key.
Oh.
No, no.
Definitely not.
The temp agency didn't have any work for me today, so I thought I'd, you know, help out here with the Books or something.
Then I, uh Started paying the bills, but There's not a lot of money here.
Uh, yeah.
Um Don't don't worry, because Last night, I worked it all out.
Look.
The money that I'm holding for Howie, it's making, like, Uh-huh.
So if I take that out of the bank Howie's money? Yeah.
Just for a couple of days.
I can pay off my computer and take care of all these jobs.
Griffin I'll have the money back in the bank before Howie even knows it's gone.
And what if you can't? See, I've got, like, 10 job orders lined up.
It it's not your money, Griffin.
God, it's Howie's, and you don't even know where he got it.
You don't even know what kind of business he's in.
I told you, I'll pay it back.
He won't even know it's gone.
And what if he does? Have you thought about that? He beat you up on your wedding day.
What is he gonna do next? I can handle this.
Obviously you can't! There is, like, no money here! You're not sleeping, and you're barely eating.
And now you're coming up with schemes to steal stolen money? It's not a scheme! It's a plan! A bad plan, a plan that's gonna make things worse.
That's your damn opinion, Julia.
But you know what? I don't need it.
You know, y-you're my wife.
You're supposed to support me.
If you can't do that, then do me a favor.
Stay home! All right? Did you hear me? Just go home.
Hey.
Whoa! Too bad I got to get to work.
You look great.
A lot of good it did me.
He wouldn't even see me.
Who? The guy from the insurance company.
I mean, I got all dressed up and went all the way downtown, and then the receptionist The receptionist Says to me, "I'm sorry, miss mott, but the position's been filled.
" Wait a minute You had a job interview? I mean, so what if I rescheduled it for a few hours? I mean, he could've at least waited Hold on.
You rescheduled an interview? This morning.
I told you that.
When you wanted to stay in bed, I told you that I had things to do.
"Things.
" "Things" are like Shopping Or getting your car washed.
"Things" are not job interviews.
I called and I changed it from 10:00 to 4:00.
I mean, what's the big deal? The big deal Is that at 10:00 there was a job, and at 4:00 there wasn't.
Well, how was I supposed to know that? It doesn't matter.
You need a job, you don't reschedule an interview.
Yeah, but I did this for you! Well, don't.
Don't do that.
You shouldn't do stuff like that for me.
You know, you're impossible.
One second, you're saying we're never alone together, so I, like, twist myself into a pretzel trying to find some time for us to be alone, but that's wrong, too.
You know, I can't win with you.
That was really nice, what you did for me.
I mean, sticking up for me like that.
No one ever does that.
It's no big deal.
Well, maybe for you, but To me, it Meant a lot.
Look, salinger I love when you call me that.
I read your letter.
Good.
Good.
I mean, I wrote it to you.
Listen.
Somehow And I don't know how, but You've got, like, the wrong idea.
We're not together.
But I thought Well, I mean, I thought you said that you forgave me.
I did.
That still doesn't mean I'm not your boyfriend, Claudia.
I told you that before.
I mean I like you a lot, and we're friends Well, sure, now, 'cause I mean, you're just not You're just not thinking about it in the right way.
Look at Jane eyre and And Rochester.
I mean, he thought of her as a governess for, like For, like chapters And she turned out to be the love of his life.
Claudia, that's a novel.
It's fiction.
Did you really ask that girl to trade lockers with you? I'm sorry.
Owen, stop playing with your food.
Owen! Oh, man Yeah.
Client 2282.
Salinger.
Julia salinger.
I'm not going to school.
Where? The Richmond district? I said I'm not going to school.
Ok.
I'll be there.
Thanks.
Fine.
Don't go to school.
Don't you even want to know why? Claudia, it's fine.
Just be home when Owen gets here, ok? Where are my keys? Have you seen my keys? Charlie, I'm Whatever it is, talk to Julia.
I couldn't sleep last night.
I kept thinking about Everything.
I want to tell nat about us.
Wait a minute.
The way I've been acting, making excuses, blaming other people It's like my old routines.
You know, it's like I'm drinking again.
Don't do this, Annie.
No.
I have to.
I mean, hiding you under my bed.
That's where I used to hide my bottles.
We just talked about this and you had, like, a hundred reasons why it was a terrible idea.
I was wrong.
Are you doing this for me? Because I'm not.
I mean, what is the whole a.
A.
Thing? Take responsibility for your choices.
Deal with the consequences.
That's why I'm doing this.
I have to be straight with nat.
Ok.
Charlie? Charlie? Wait.
I must be in the wrong house.
Is that Charlie salinger meditating? It's, just, you never struck me as the type.
I probably never struck you as the cancer type either, but There it is.
Is it helping? Who knows? I mean, it's It's weird.
They tell you to make up a mantra.
You know, something to clear your head, and And all I keep thinking is, god, I hope this works.
God, I hope this works.
Not exactly stress-relieving, huh? Yeah, but it's something.
I'm doing something.
I read this article this morning, and they found some plant in Mexico that cures cancer in mice.
And I'm thinking, should I get on a plane? Does it just cure mice? Do they have to be Mexican mice? I mean, I swear, if someone told me that swinging a black cat over my head 3 times right now would cure this thing, I'd be, like, get me a black cat.
Oh, man.
I've really lost it, haven't I? What am I thinking? Plants in Mexico, meditating I don't know.
But since we've been talking You haven't been scratching.
Yeah, I, uh Just have to retard the spark a few degrees, but I can have it back to you tomorrow.
That quick? Yeah, yeah.
Thanks to this baby.
She saves you money 'cause she saves me time.
See you.
Place looks good, kid.
You got customers, technology, almost like a regular business.
What do you want, Howie? What? Can't an old friend just stop by to say hey to a pal? Do I always have to want something? Hey.
Write me a check, huh? What? Out of our account.
Say, 8 grand? What that'll leave the account at practically zero.
Yeah? Well, it'll clean us out.
Yeah? We won't have anything left! We? It's my money.
Write the check.
Thanks.
Hey.
I'll call you.
Uh, yeah, hi.
This is Griffin holbrook.
Yeah.
What? Oh, no, no.
Account transfers.
Uh what? Oh, hold Hold on.
Uh It's account number 009481.
Yeah, yeah.
I requested a transfer A $10,000 transfer this morning between accounts.
Wait yeah no, I need to cancel.
I thought about telling her that she would be doubly safe having 2 grownups sleeping here, you know, 'cause she's afraid of monsters.
But that just implies that she's only half as safe when you're not here, so Wait wait a minute.
I thought the whole idea was to be honest.
Come on.
Nat? Bailey and I have something we want to tell you.
Want to see my picture? It's Bailey.
Hey.
You made me tall.
Thanks.
Nat, honey, from now on, Bailey's gonna spend a lot more time with us.
He already eats dinner with us sometimes.
You like that, right? Well Now He's gonna be sleeping here, too.
He'll read you bedtime stories.
Bailey: The Princess and the troll.
And he'll eat breakfast with us in the morning.
Maybe he'll even braid your hair.
Bailey: Yeah.
But you're gonna have to teach me how to do that.
Will you do that, nat? Will you teach Bailey how to braid your hair? You're not my daddy.
Give us a minute.
Yeah.
Hey! Doesn't anybody answer the phone in this house? Ah Yeah? What? No, he's not here right now.
What No, I'm not responsible for her.
Wait a minute.
Why? No, I'll take care of it.
I'll take care of it.
Claudia! Claudia! Claudia! Your school just called and they said that you weren't there today.
I wasn't.
That's it? "I wasn't"? Turn the music off! Now, you can't just not go to school.
You think I can just not go to work? I took a sad day.
Ok, Reed and I had a fight.
Reed? That's what this is about? Boy stuff?! That's why you didn't go to school? Your brother is sick up there, and your sister is bustin' her butt at work.
That's what you're thinking about? You can't be that stupid! Griffin! That is enough.
No, it's not.
No, it's not enough.
What do you want to do, send her to her room? Make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush? Hit her? God, Griffin, where does that come from? You're yelling at me, you're yelling at Claudia.
I don't even know who you are anymore! It's like It's like you're your father.
Charlie: Would you guys shut up! I'm meditating! Charlie? Not now, claud.
Can I just talk to you for a second? Not now.
I'm meditating.
Hey.
I got chocolate cream and jelly-filled for breakfast.
Not now, Bailey.
Come on, mommy.
Come in.
Hey.
You're up.
And you're out of your pajamas.
What's the occasion? A good night's sleep.
I actually feel Almost normal.
And look.
No more rash.
I am officially amongst the rash-free.
So for all those skeptics out there in America, including you, meditation works.
Huh.
Your rash is gone, and it went away last night? Yep.
I wonder if it was the detergent.
Excuse me? I switched detergents.
There was a sale.
But wait a minute.
My rash is gone.
I'm not itching anymore.
Yeah, I know, but yesterday I switched back.
Julia I'm sorry.
I'll never use coupons again.
I called you last night.
I didn't get the message.
Because I hung up.
Look, I know you're you're not my boyfriend, and I mean, I knew that, and I don't care.
I mean I I do care.
A lot.
But that's That's not what I'm asking for.
Can't we just talk for a second? Claudia Like we used to.
Please? What do you want to talk about? Anything.
Sports Life Could you believe Corey zipperstein in assembly this morning? Claudia, I can't.
I mean i mean, it used to be so easy with you.
That was, like, the great part.
But now, I don't know, you take everything wrong.
Well, I won't.
I won't.
I mean, I'll stop doing that.
I promise.
I say your clothes look nice, and you think I'm your boyfriend.
I ask about your brother, and you think I, like, love you.
I gotta go work out.
You know, I really thought I'd done something.
Me.
I felt like some kind of superhero, you know? Cancer man.
I thought I could go into radiation today and say, "come on.
Nuke me.
I can take it.
I've got this super weapon.
" What an amazing jerk I was.
Charlie My rash didn't have anything to do with the radiation.
It was Julia and Coupons.
So? Well, for one second I felt like I had the tiniest bit of control.
I felt like there's something I can do to beat this back, but Kirsten, what if I can't? What if you did? You had a rash, Charlie.
And now it's gone.
And you know what? Maybe it was the detergent.
Maybe it wasn't.
Maybe it was the meditation.
Maybe it was you.
You home? I'm not like my father, Julia.
Are we still talking about this? I've been thinking about it all day.
I mean Yeah, I blew up.
You called Claudia stupid.
She was acting like a jerk! I'm You know, Griffin, I remember once you came over After your dad had, like, whaled on you.
God.
You slammed my bedroom door and knocked a picture off the wall.
And you said, "what right does he have to make us feel bad just because he had a rotten day?" That was totally different.
When my father lost it, he had no reason.
And you do? Yeah, I do, ok? Howie took back all of his money.
They repossessed my computer.
I'm gonna lose all of my customers.
You just don't get it.
No.
Griffin, that's the thing I do.
I get that you're in way over your head.
That you're 19 years old and you feel like you're 40 or something.
And everybody's putting demands on you, and you're scared to death that you can't handle them.
And there's this One person This person who you're supposed to love.
And you want to say to them "Fix it.
Fix everything.
" Well, I feel exactly the same way.
What are you doing? I'm going inside.
Owen's coming down with a cold or something.
It's better if I sleep in there.
Are you coming with me? No.
I'm gonna stay here.
One of us should get some sleep.
Hey.
You're still doing this meditation thing, huh? Yeah, well You never know.
Charlie Yeah? It's helping.
Does she know I'm here? I'm sure she can hear you.
And she's staying in her room.
Wow.
She'll adjust, Bailey.
I'm sure of it.
It's just Gonna take some time.
Ok.
Then we give her time.
Pretty amazing, isn't it? We did all this to spend more time together, and now Right.
Well, maybe I'll see you at the meeting in the morning.
I can't go till the afternoon.
But maybe I'll stop by the restaurant.
It's gonna be crazy there.
But if I get a break during the day, I'll give you a call.
Ok.
Ok.
Annie: Good night.
Bailey: Good night.