That's So Raven (2003) s04e13 Episode Script
Mad Hot Cotillion
Ay, caramba! And when the When the waiter fell in the guacamole, it was just hysterical! Raven, where have you been? Funny story.
I had a vision that Eddie and Chelsea needed help at a Mexican restaurant, so i I don't want to hear it.
You're 2 hours late.
For what? My goodness! Aunt Jeanette! Are you serious? That was tonight? Yes.
It's her 80th birthday, and all she wanted to do was spend it with her favorite niece.
Well It's not too late to get this party started.
Raven, the party is over.
Look, you keep getting involved in these crazy situations, and you keep ignoring your responsibilities.
Well, you know, i You know what? You're grounded for a week.
A whole week? A whole week.
No phone, no TV.
No Friends.
No friends?! What what did we do?! Why we bein' punished? We didn't do anything! You almost got me, dad.
You had me goin'.
"I'm gonna ground you for a week "because.
You wanna make it 2 weeks? No, senor.
Ok, now go and wake up your aunt Jeanette and wish her a happy birthday.
Sorry.
Pedro! I knew you would come back for me! What?! Yep, that's me.
yeah.
So Our band's called Cory and the boys.
I'm the boy.
And I'm Cory.
We only have one song.
But, baby, we play it loud.
Man, there's only one reason why people run off like that.
Hello, boys.
The Juicer! The Juicer! Beat it, weenie.
Beating here, Juiceness.
Are are you gonna juice me? The only thing I'm gonna squeeze out of you is some advice.
I've been watchin' you, and you're pretty smooth with the ladies.
Not really.
You know? I just talk to 'em.
Come on, that's it? Yeah.
Why? Is there a girl you like? Sorry 'bout that.
Her.
Ok, ok.
So you crushin' on the new girl Kayla.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be crushing your head if you don't help me talk to her.
Right.
Well, look, just keep it simple.
Ok? Introduce yourself.
Talk about school, TV Music.
All right? Good luck.
School! TV! Music? Great advice, Casanova! She responded to none of those subjects.
Sorry.
Well, you're gonna be sorrier if you don't make Kayla like me by tomorrow! How am I supposed to do that? You better think of somethin'! Or else Maybe And don't tell anyone about this Especially that meddling sister of yours.
Man! No TV, no phone, no friends.
What am I supposed to do? Cory! What's up, little brother?! How are you doing? Come talk to your big sister.
How you doin' today? What's goin' on? Why don't you tell me what's happenin' in your life.
I'm here to talk to you! You must be really bored.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That killed 10 seconds.
Ok, now tell me what's goin' on in your life.
Well, look.
There's this This this friend of mine.
Ok? Ok.
And he's havin' a problem at school.
Right.
Right.
Right.
A "fuh-riend.
" Yeah.
Look, he really likes this girl, but every time he gets close to her, he gets all tongue-tied and doesn't know what to say.
Well, maybe your "friend" Ok? Needs to find a different way of expressing his feeling towards this girl.
Like what? Hey, you know what girls find romantic? Poetry.
Yeah! Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm gonna write a poem.
Y- you you know what I mean.
You know For my friend? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, for your "fuh-riend.
" Thanks, ok? No worries, man.
Wait.
Hold up.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait a second.
Don't you have some homework I can help you with? Or somethin'? Ok.
I'll be here all week! All week? Did you give Kayla that poem you wrote for me? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all set.
I put it in her locker.
You sure she's gonna like it? Yep.
Girls find poetry very romantic.
Well, she'd better.
There's Kayla! Just Be cool.
Be cool.
Ok.
Here she comes.
Here she comes.
There she goes.
There she goes! Man! She hated it! Put your head in here! Calm down! Calm down! Ok? Maybe she hasn't read it yet.
Good point.
Yeah.
Go and find out! Me? Rrrrhhh! Just don't hurt me.
I'm goin' right now.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
I hope you had a pleasant day at school.
Before we start cotillion class, I'll put up a kettle for tea while we warm up with our bows And curtsies.
Larry, man, what's goin' on in here? In cotillion class, I'm Lawrence.
Ok Lawrence.
What's goin' on in here? We're learning manners, etiquette, and ballroom dancing.
You bein' punished? Listen, what are you doin' here? The Juicer wants me to see if Kayla read the poem I wrote for him.
No problem.
I'll help you make her acquaintance.
Pardon me, Kayla.
I'd like to present master Cory Baxter.
Very pleased to meet you, Cory.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Look, we gotta talk.
Excuse my ill-mannered friend.
He's a little Rough around the edges.
So, Kayla Did you happen to get a poem from my friend the Juicer today? Yeah.
It was corny.
I mean, who rhymes "romance" with "torn pants"? Maybe someone who has a way with words.
Well, I don't now why he's interested in me, anyway.
Well, you know you can't really blame him.
I mean, you're one of the cutest girls in school.
Really? You You think I'm cute? Yeah! Yeah.
I sure do.
But, more importantly, the Juicer thinks you're cute.
You know what I think? What? I think you're cute.
Time for tea.
I really don't think I should be here.
Cory.
Ladies and gentlemen, before we serve our tea, just a reminder that tonight is our big cotillion ball.
Great! That'd be perfect! Why don't you come to the ball with me? Well, isn't this a little sudden? Well, yes, but There's something about you.
It just Feels right.
Well, you know, that's I really got to go! Larry! Lawrence.
Ok.
"Lawrence.
" Look, Kayla likes me.
What are you gonna tell the Juicer? Nothin'.
Ok? If he comes lookin' for me, tell him I moved to Cincinnati.
It's really impolite to lie.
But it's also impolite to get brain juice on the floor! Ok? Point well taken.
Got a pretty good poker face goin' there, man.
I believe you're bluffin'.
That's right.
Double kings.
What you got? What you got? 4 aces? Man, not again! Hey, Cory! What's goin' on, man?! Tell me everything that happened with your "fuh-riend" and everything.
Come on, talk to me, man, talk to me.
Well I wrote him a poem just like you said.
But it backfired.
What?! What?! What happened? The girl fell for the wrong guy.
This is gettin' good.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This Is bad.
Yes.
T-totally.
Of course.
This is totally bad.
Look, Raven, if I don't straighten this out, this could be very Painful.
Ok, look.
If the girl fell in love with the wrong guy, then you have to make her fall in love with the right guy.
Ok.
Or Or, or, or I could get her to fall out of love with the wrong guy! True.
Yes! Thanks, Raven.
I'm gonna straighten this all out at the cotillion tonight! Ok! Wait! Ok, Cory! I'm here! Remember that! I'm so lonely.
And I smell cookies.
What are you guys doin' here?! Well, just because you're grounded doesn't mean that we have to be.
I didn't invite 'em.
They must've smelled the cookies.
Ok.
Well In that case I guess I might as well just stay and talk to 'em! Rae.
Rae.
Rae, Rae, Rae, Rae, Rae! You're still on punishment.
Now, take one of those cookies and go back in the livin' room.
But, dad, can't I just No.
Just for a s No.
But can't i Just stay No.
For just one Nope.
So Mr.
B How's business? Do you really care? No.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to our annual cotillion ball.
Cory I'm appalled.
This is not how a gentleman dresses.
Exactly, man.
Kayla likes gentlemen, and I don't want to be anything that Kayla likes.
Right, 'cause if the Juicer ever found out that the girl he likes likes you So, is she here yet? No, but according to the etiquette book, it's acceptable to be fashionably late.
Good.
I need the time.
I gotta practice bein' bad.
Look.
There's my first victim.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Yo, waiter! Man, get over here with that grub, fool! How was that? Not bad! That's right! That's right! I'm bad! Ok.
Let's go.
Juicer! Hey, man! It's you.
I was lookin' for Cory.
He's not here, but come on in! Rouahhh!! My goodness! What can I do for you? Do you want something to eat? How about I take your hat? No! No! What's wrong with you? Well, I'm actually a little lonely.
Sit down! See, the situation is that my dad took my best friends to the movies and left me here by myself.
Creepy.
Anyway I'm lookin' for Cory.
There's a rumor he moved to Cincinnati? No such luck.
No.
He still lives here.
But Tell me what's goin' on with ya.
All right.
Well, my friend likes this girl, and By "friend," you do yeah.
It's me.
Ok.
So What should I do? Let me let me just understand this a little deeper.
Explain the girl.
Well she's pretty.
Ok.
She's classy.
Nice.
She she says things like "Please" and, "Thank you.
" Ok.
I see your problem.
I do.
You need to become a "please" and "thank you" kind of guy.
You mean a weenie?! No! No, not a wienie.
No.
A gentleman.
You know what you need to do? You need to get your act together, and you need to go over there and win your woman back! Yeah! Yeah! I'm goin' to that cotillion ball, and I'm gonna win her over! Yeah! Cotillion ball? Hey I guess he'll see Cory there.
I'm sorry, Cory, but now that I see the Juicer like this I don't want you.
I want him! Oh, snap! No.
No.
Here come Mrs.
Rothschild, man.
Keep her busy.
Talk about Talk about manners and stuff.
This is where I shine.
All right, man! Good evening, Mrs.
Rothschild.
Allow me.
Thank you, Lawrence.
Lawrence, you little.
.
It's ok.
Accidents happen.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ice my tailbone.
I'm gonna take one of these.
These these cucumber sandwiches, they're so delicate.
It's like eatin' a little cloud.
Cory? Man, get this stuff outta my face! Go on! What are you wearing? What I feel like wearin'.
Ok? That's what I'm wearin' 'Cause I'm bad.
I'm a bad boy, and bad boys do what they want.
Whenever! I do what I want! This Is a side of you I've never seen.
Get used to it, baby.
Get used to that, too.
You're so rude and crass.
You hate it, right? No! I like it! I've always been attracted to bad boys.
My parents made me take cotillion to keep away from them, but I can't resist.
I like what I like.
You know what? If you If you really want a bad boy, I got one for you right there.
Yeah.
He's a real outlaw.
Juicer! Juicer, Juicer.
Raven! What are you doin' here? Hey! You know what I was thinkin'.
I might've given you some confusing advice.
Not now.
I gotta go fight for Kayla, like you told me.
No, no, no! Wait! I'm First We dance.
No.
Tango! I'll lead.
Raven?! What is she doin'?! Where you goin', bad boy? Let's tango! I'll keep him away from you! Raven, wait! Excuse me, Ms.
Rothschild.
I'm so sorry.
Will you do me the honor and tango with me? Well It might take my mind off my throbbing derriere.
Lawrence You're toast! Ms.
Rothschild! What about etiquette? I'll give you etiquette! Let go of me! I'm supposed to be fighting for my girl! Well, fight for that girl over there! Hey! Cory! Shall we dance? Raven.
What are you doin' here? You're messin' everything up.
Don't worry, Cory.
I got this.
Ok? You see that girl over there? Go over there and win her heart.
Kayla's your girl? Juicer! Wienie! I shoulda never left the Navy.
Cory! Cory Baxter! You double-crossin', back-stabbin' It's juicin' time, baby! Look, Cory.
This Is gonna be your head.
That's nasty.
He is bad! I i told you.
I'm sorry, Cory But now that I see the Juicer like this I don't want you.
I want him.
Yes! Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Great choice! Great choice! Cory, what are you so happy about? The Juicer just took your girl.
No, no.
That's what I wanted.
I was tryin' to get them together.
And I was tryin' to keep 'em apart! I thought you liked her! No! I said "my friend"! And by "friend," you really meant a "friend.
" My bad.
Hey, aren't you supposed to be grounded? Oh, snap! I gotta get home before dad! Raven, where have you been? We've been worried sick.
You could've at least called someone, Raven.
I mean, what are we supposed to do with you, young lady? Well I had a vision, and and there was Cory and the Juicer, and I had to tango and Raven, enough.
You're grounded for an extra week.
Now, go to your room.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Hot enough for you? Hey, Rae, maybe I was a little too harsh! Sweetheart?
I had a vision that Eddie and Chelsea needed help at a Mexican restaurant, so i I don't want to hear it.
You're 2 hours late.
For what? My goodness! Aunt Jeanette! Are you serious? That was tonight? Yes.
It's her 80th birthday, and all she wanted to do was spend it with her favorite niece.
Well It's not too late to get this party started.
Raven, the party is over.
Look, you keep getting involved in these crazy situations, and you keep ignoring your responsibilities.
Well, you know, i You know what? You're grounded for a week.
A whole week? A whole week.
No phone, no TV.
No Friends.
No friends?! What what did we do?! Why we bein' punished? We didn't do anything! You almost got me, dad.
You had me goin'.
"I'm gonna ground you for a week "because.
You wanna make it 2 weeks? No, senor.
Ok, now go and wake up your aunt Jeanette and wish her a happy birthday.
Sorry.
Pedro! I knew you would come back for me! What?! Yep, that's me.
yeah.
So Our band's called Cory and the boys.
I'm the boy.
And I'm Cory.
We only have one song.
But, baby, we play it loud.
Man, there's only one reason why people run off like that.
Hello, boys.
The Juicer! The Juicer! Beat it, weenie.
Beating here, Juiceness.
Are are you gonna juice me? The only thing I'm gonna squeeze out of you is some advice.
I've been watchin' you, and you're pretty smooth with the ladies.
Not really.
You know? I just talk to 'em.
Come on, that's it? Yeah.
Why? Is there a girl you like? Sorry 'bout that.
Her.
Ok, ok.
So you crushin' on the new girl Kayla.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be crushing your head if you don't help me talk to her.
Right.
Well, look, just keep it simple.
Ok? Introduce yourself.
Talk about school, TV Music.
All right? Good luck.
School! TV! Music? Great advice, Casanova! She responded to none of those subjects.
Sorry.
Well, you're gonna be sorrier if you don't make Kayla like me by tomorrow! How am I supposed to do that? You better think of somethin'! Or else Maybe And don't tell anyone about this Especially that meddling sister of yours.
Man! No TV, no phone, no friends.
What am I supposed to do? Cory! What's up, little brother?! How are you doing? Come talk to your big sister.
How you doin' today? What's goin' on? Why don't you tell me what's happenin' in your life.
I'm here to talk to you! You must be really bored.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That killed 10 seconds.
Ok, now tell me what's goin' on in your life.
Well, look.
There's this This this friend of mine.
Ok? Ok.
And he's havin' a problem at school.
Right.
Right.
Right.
A "fuh-riend.
" Yeah.
Look, he really likes this girl, but every time he gets close to her, he gets all tongue-tied and doesn't know what to say.
Well, maybe your "friend" Ok? Needs to find a different way of expressing his feeling towards this girl.
Like what? Hey, you know what girls find romantic? Poetry.
Yeah! Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm gonna write a poem.
Y- you you know what I mean.
You know For my friend? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, for your "fuh-riend.
" Thanks, ok? No worries, man.
Wait.
Hold up.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait a second.
Don't you have some homework I can help you with? Or somethin'? Ok.
I'll be here all week! All week? Did you give Kayla that poem you wrote for me? Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all set.
I put it in her locker.
You sure she's gonna like it? Yep.
Girls find poetry very romantic.
Well, she'd better.
There's Kayla! Just Be cool.
Be cool.
Ok.
Here she comes.
Here she comes.
There she goes.
There she goes! Man! She hated it! Put your head in here! Calm down! Calm down! Ok? Maybe she hasn't read it yet.
Good point.
Yeah.
Go and find out! Me? Rrrrhhh! Just don't hurt me.
I'm goin' right now.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
I hope you had a pleasant day at school.
Before we start cotillion class, I'll put up a kettle for tea while we warm up with our bows And curtsies.
Larry, man, what's goin' on in here? In cotillion class, I'm Lawrence.
Ok Lawrence.
What's goin' on in here? We're learning manners, etiquette, and ballroom dancing.
You bein' punished? Listen, what are you doin' here? The Juicer wants me to see if Kayla read the poem I wrote for him.
No problem.
I'll help you make her acquaintance.
Pardon me, Kayla.
I'd like to present master Cory Baxter.
Very pleased to meet you, Cory.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Look, we gotta talk.
Excuse my ill-mannered friend.
He's a little Rough around the edges.
So, Kayla Did you happen to get a poem from my friend the Juicer today? Yeah.
It was corny.
I mean, who rhymes "romance" with "torn pants"? Maybe someone who has a way with words.
Well, I don't now why he's interested in me, anyway.
Well, you know you can't really blame him.
I mean, you're one of the cutest girls in school.
Really? You You think I'm cute? Yeah! Yeah.
I sure do.
But, more importantly, the Juicer thinks you're cute.
You know what I think? What? I think you're cute.
Time for tea.
I really don't think I should be here.
Cory.
Ladies and gentlemen, before we serve our tea, just a reminder that tonight is our big cotillion ball.
Great! That'd be perfect! Why don't you come to the ball with me? Well, isn't this a little sudden? Well, yes, but There's something about you.
It just Feels right.
Well, you know, that's I really got to go! Larry! Lawrence.
Ok.
"Lawrence.
" Look, Kayla likes me.
What are you gonna tell the Juicer? Nothin'.
Ok? If he comes lookin' for me, tell him I moved to Cincinnati.
It's really impolite to lie.
But it's also impolite to get brain juice on the floor! Ok? Point well taken.
Got a pretty good poker face goin' there, man.
I believe you're bluffin'.
That's right.
Double kings.
What you got? What you got? 4 aces? Man, not again! Hey, Cory! What's goin' on, man?! Tell me everything that happened with your "fuh-riend" and everything.
Come on, talk to me, man, talk to me.
Well I wrote him a poem just like you said.
But it backfired.
What?! What?! What happened? The girl fell for the wrong guy.
This is gettin' good.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This Is bad.
Yes.
T-totally.
Of course.
This is totally bad.
Look, Raven, if I don't straighten this out, this could be very Painful.
Ok, look.
If the girl fell in love with the wrong guy, then you have to make her fall in love with the right guy.
Ok.
Or Or, or, or I could get her to fall out of love with the wrong guy! True.
Yes! Thanks, Raven.
I'm gonna straighten this all out at the cotillion tonight! Ok! Wait! Ok, Cory! I'm here! Remember that! I'm so lonely.
And I smell cookies.
What are you guys doin' here?! Well, just because you're grounded doesn't mean that we have to be.
I didn't invite 'em.
They must've smelled the cookies.
Ok.
Well In that case I guess I might as well just stay and talk to 'em! Rae.
Rae.
Rae, Rae, Rae, Rae, Rae! You're still on punishment.
Now, take one of those cookies and go back in the livin' room.
But, dad, can't I just No.
Just for a s No.
But can't i Just stay No.
For just one Nope.
So Mr.
B How's business? Do you really care? No.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to our annual cotillion ball.
Cory I'm appalled.
This is not how a gentleman dresses.
Exactly, man.
Kayla likes gentlemen, and I don't want to be anything that Kayla likes.
Right, 'cause if the Juicer ever found out that the girl he likes likes you So, is she here yet? No, but according to the etiquette book, it's acceptable to be fashionably late.
Good.
I need the time.
I gotta practice bein' bad.
Look.
There's my first victim.
Watch this.
Watch this.
Yo, waiter! Man, get over here with that grub, fool! How was that? Not bad! That's right! That's right! I'm bad! Ok.
Let's go.
Juicer! Hey, man! It's you.
I was lookin' for Cory.
He's not here, but come on in! Rouahhh!! My goodness! What can I do for you? Do you want something to eat? How about I take your hat? No! No! What's wrong with you? Well, I'm actually a little lonely.
Sit down! See, the situation is that my dad took my best friends to the movies and left me here by myself.
Creepy.
Anyway I'm lookin' for Cory.
There's a rumor he moved to Cincinnati? No such luck.
No.
He still lives here.
But Tell me what's goin' on with ya.
All right.
Well, my friend likes this girl, and By "friend," you do yeah.
It's me.
Ok.
So What should I do? Let me let me just understand this a little deeper.
Explain the girl.
Well she's pretty.
Ok.
She's classy.
Nice.
She she says things like "Please" and, "Thank you.
" Ok.
I see your problem.
I do.
You need to become a "please" and "thank you" kind of guy.
You mean a weenie?! No! No, not a wienie.
No.
A gentleman.
You know what you need to do? You need to get your act together, and you need to go over there and win your woman back! Yeah! Yeah! I'm goin' to that cotillion ball, and I'm gonna win her over! Yeah! Cotillion ball? Hey I guess he'll see Cory there.
I'm sorry, Cory, but now that I see the Juicer like this I don't want you.
I want him! Oh, snap! No.
No.
Here come Mrs.
Rothschild, man.
Keep her busy.
Talk about Talk about manners and stuff.
This is where I shine.
All right, man! Good evening, Mrs.
Rothschild.
Allow me.
Thank you, Lawrence.
Lawrence, you little.
.
It's ok.
Accidents happen.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ice my tailbone.
I'm gonna take one of these.
These these cucumber sandwiches, they're so delicate.
It's like eatin' a little cloud.
Cory? Man, get this stuff outta my face! Go on! What are you wearing? What I feel like wearin'.
Ok? That's what I'm wearin' 'Cause I'm bad.
I'm a bad boy, and bad boys do what they want.
Whenever! I do what I want! This Is a side of you I've never seen.
Get used to it, baby.
Get used to that, too.
You're so rude and crass.
You hate it, right? No! I like it! I've always been attracted to bad boys.
My parents made me take cotillion to keep away from them, but I can't resist.
I like what I like.
You know what? If you If you really want a bad boy, I got one for you right there.
Yeah.
He's a real outlaw.
Juicer! Juicer, Juicer.
Raven! What are you doin' here? Hey! You know what I was thinkin'.
I might've given you some confusing advice.
Not now.
I gotta go fight for Kayla, like you told me.
No, no, no! Wait! I'm First We dance.
No.
Tango! I'll lead.
Raven?! What is she doin'?! Where you goin', bad boy? Let's tango! I'll keep him away from you! Raven, wait! Excuse me, Ms.
Rothschild.
I'm so sorry.
Will you do me the honor and tango with me? Well It might take my mind off my throbbing derriere.
Lawrence You're toast! Ms.
Rothschild! What about etiquette? I'll give you etiquette! Let go of me! I'm supposed to be fighting for my girl! Well, fight for that girl over there! Hey! Cory! Shall we dance? Raven.
What are you doin' here? You're messin' everything up.
Don't worry, Cory.
I got this.
Ok? You see that girl over there? Go over there and win her heart.
Kayla's your girl? Juicer! Wienie! I shoulda never left the Navy.
Cory! Cory Baxter! You double-crossin', back-stabbin' It's juicin' time, baby! Look, Cory.
This Is gonna be your head.
That's nasty.
He is bad! I i told you.
I'm sorry, Cory But now that I see the Juicer like this I don't want you.
I want him.
Yes! Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Great choice! Great choice! Cory, what are you so happy about? The Juicer just took your girl.
No, no.
That's what I wanted.
I was tryin' to get them together.
And I was tryin' to keep 'em apart! I thought you liked her! No! I said "my friend"! And by "friend," you really meant a "friend.
" My bad.
Hey, aren't you supposed to be grounded? Oh, snap! I gotta get home before dad! Raven, where have you been? We've been worried sick.
You could've at least called someone, Raven.
I mean, what are we supposed to do with you, young lady? Well I had a vision, and and there was Cory and the Juicer, and I had to tango and Raven, enough.
You're grounded for an extra week.
Now, go to your room.
Right.
I'm sorry.
Hot enough for you? Hey, Rae, maybe I was a little too harsh! Sweetheart?