The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s04e13 Episode Script
The Parasite; The Love
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS .]
Anais' voice: "DEAR DIARY, TODAY, IT HAPPENED -- THE THING I WANTED MOST.
I MADE A FRIEND.
HER NAME IS JODIE.
SHE NEEDED A PEN, SO I LENT HER MINE -- WHICH IS WHY I WROTE THIS ENTRY WITH A PAINTBRUSH DIPPED IN YOGURT.
BUT SHE SMILED AT ME! FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I KNEW WE WERE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!" Darwin: DUDE, THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IMPRESSION! THANK YOU.
BUT I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED WE SHOULD BE READING THIS.
[ Normal voice .]
AH, COME ON, WE DID THE PROS AND CONS.
MM.
OKAY, QUITE A FEW CONS, BUT ON THE PROS SIDE [ Anais' voice .]
"I HOPE I GET MY GROWTH SPURT SOON.
I'M TIRED OF USING THE CAT DOOR AT GRANNY JOJO'S HOUSE BECAUSE I CAN'T REACH HER DOORKNOB.
" [ MUFFLED CHUCKLE .]
OKAY, LET'S JUST READ A LITTLE MORE.
"TODAY, I GOT TO SIT WITH JODIE IN THE CAFETERIA.
SHE STILL LOOKED HUNGRY AFTER FINISHING HER LUNCH, SO I GAVE HER MINE.
JODIE WAS SCARED SHE'D GET A BAD GRADE FOR HER SCIENCE PROJECT, SO I GAVE HER THAT, TOO.
[ LAUGHS .]
SHE WAS RIGHT.
SCIENCE IS NOT HER STRENGTH.
BUT I WAS HAPPY TO HELP MY FRIEND.
LATER ON, WE WALKED BACK HOME TOGETHER.
SHE SAID SHE WAS TIRED, SO I CARRIED HER BAG.
" [ Normal voice .]
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS JODIE'S TAKING CREDIT FOR ANAIS' WORK, GETTING HER TO CARRY HER STUFF, AND EATING HER LUNCH! YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE?! YOU.
NO, I MEANT [SIGHS.]
YOU KNOW ANAIS.
IN SPITE OF BEING CLEVER AND SARCASTIC, SHE'S ALSO FRAGILE AND WEIRD, AND SHE HAS TROUBLE FITTING IN.
AND THIS PERSON IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER WEAKNESS, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S CALLED?! A GUMBALL? UH, UH, YEAH, BUT -- I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO THAT, OKAY?! I JUST DON'T THINK ANAIS SHOULD HANG AROUND WITH THAT KIND OF PERSON.
NOW YOU SOUND LIKE MRS.
MOM.
[ Mrs.
Mom's voice .]
NO, I DON'T! [ Normal voice .]
I REFUSE TO LET OUR LITTLE SISTER GET TRICKED BY THIS PARASITE! [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
ANYWAY, I GOT TO GO.
CAN YOU SEE HER? LOOK HARDER! NO.
[ GRUNTS .]
NO, I MEANT -- [GASPS.]
THERE SHE IS! HUH, FUNNY, SHE LOOKS EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINED.
DARWIN, GIVE ME YOUR SHOE.
THIS WILL TEACH YOU FOR TOYING WITH MY SISTER'S FEELINGS! OW! SO, JODIE, ARE YOU HUNGRY, FRIEND? [ BOTH GASP .]
DO SOMETHING! UH [ BREATHING HEAVILY .]
NO -- ABOUT HER! [ BREATHING HEAVILY .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ GROANS .]
I'VE GOT AN IDEA! WHAT? GIVE ME YOUR SHOE! UH, HOW ABOUT WE JUST WAIT AND SEE IF SHE'S ACTUALLY AS BAD AS YOU THINK? [ SIGHS .]
ALL RIGHT.
JODIE, WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT? SURE.
BEST FRIENDS? W-WELLUH UM, DO YOU WANT SOME CANDY? UH, OKAY.
WHAT'D YOU WANT? DON'T WORRY -- I'LL BUY ONE OF EACH.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
YEAH.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
[ BOTH GASP .]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL -- SADNESS FOR OUR LITTLE SISTER OR ANGER AT THAT HORRIBLE FREELOADER! HOW ABOUT BOTH? [ BOTH GRUNTING, CRYING .]
[ GASPS .]
OHH! [ BALL BOUNCING .]
I'M OKAY, JODIE! WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO DO HERE? PROVE THAT ANAIS HAS BEEN BRAINWASHED BY JODIE! LOOK, I'LL THROW ANOTHER ONE.
NO, NO, NO! I-I BELIEVE YOU.
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP THROWING THINGS AT INNOCENT GIRLS AND YOU SPEAK TO ANAIS WHEN SHE'S ALONE? [ GRUNTS .]
Anais: HEY, JODIE, YOU WANT ME TO CARRY YOUR BAG? Jodie: [ SIGHS .]
OKAY.
[ GRUNTS .]
[ SMACK! .]
OW! [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
HEY, ANAIS, WE NEED TO TALK.
WHAT ABOUT? [ Anais' voice .]
"DEAR DIARY, TODAY, I MET A WRETCHED FRIEND WHO TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ME AND DESERVES TO HAVE OBJECTS THROWN AT HER FACE.
" [ Normal voice .]
AGH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! THAT WAS FOR READING MY DIARY.
AGH! AND THAT WAS FOR USING MY VOICE WITHOUT PERMISSION.
[ CLANG! .]
AND THAT'S FOR TRYING TO THROW THINGS AT MY FRIEND! AND THAT'S FOR WORRYING ABOUT ME.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND! SHE'S A PARASITE! FIRST, SHE USES YOU TO GET STUFF, THEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS, SHE TAKES OVER YOUR MIND, ATTACHES HERSELF TO YOUR BODY, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'S TURNED YOU INTO A FUNGUS THINGY SO SHE CAN RELEASE HER SPORES, CONTAMINATE MORE PEOPLE, AND DESTROY CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT! [ CLICKING, GROWLS .]
ISTOLE THAT LAST PART FROM A ZOMBIE VIDEO GAME.
IT'S JUST, I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL SAD WHEN YOU REALIZE SHE'S NOT A TRUE FRIEND.
LOOK, FOR ONCE, I GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO GIVES ME MY OWN PROBLEMS RATHER THAN SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME FIX THEIRS.
WHO'S THAT? SOUNDS AWFUL.
YOU! PLEASE DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME! FOLLOW HER! [ CLICKING, GROWLS .]
-[ SCREECHES .]
-AAH! THAT'LL BE 5 BUCKS.
I'LL PAY FOR ME AND MY FRIEND! NO, NO, NO, NO.
THAT CHICKEN IS SO OLD, IT CAME BEFORE THE EGG.
COME ON, LUNCH IS ON ME.
HERE, HELP YOURSELF, JODIE.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE FREE STUFF.
HMM.
WHO MADE THESE? OH, JUST ME AND DAD.
SO, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME, RIGHT? OF COURSE.
GREAT, THEN LET'S EAT.
OH, WAIT, YOU DON'T WANT THAT ONE, JODIE.
I THINK DAD WAS RUNNING OUT OF MAYO BY THE TIME HE MADE IT.
HERE, HAVE MINE.
IT'S GOT LOADS OF MAYO IN IT.
OH, YOU WON'T WANT THAT THEN.
IT'LL BE SOGGY.
HERE, LET'S SWAP.
I LOVE MAYO.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
WHAT?! NO! [ Muffled .]
YOU HATE MAYO, REMEMBER? WHAT? OH -- OH, YES, UH, I JUST REMEMBERED, I HATE MAYO.
OH, FOR DERP'S SAKE! [ GRUNTING .]
THERE, NOW IT'S FAIR FOR EVERYONE! [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS .]
UH UH -MMM! -MMM! DISPATCHER: Hello.
911.
[ GURGLING .]
Hello? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! THE ONLY SENSIBLE THING -- POISON THE SANDWICH SO YOUR SO-CALLED FRIEND GETS THE MESSAGE THAT -- OKAY, NOW THAT I SAID IT OUT LOUD, I REALIZE IT SOUNDS KIND OF WRONG.
[ Robotic voice .]
WE THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO.
OKAY, WAIT, I'M CONFUSED.
ARE YOU USING THE ROYAL "WE" NOW? ARE YOU GONNA START PLAYING DOUBLES TENNIS ON YOUR OWN? WHEN YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM, ARE YOU GONNA SAY [ Haughty voice .]
"WE'RE HAVING TO WEE-WEES.
" [ Normal voice .]
LISTEN TO YOURSELF! YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS ANYMORE! THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
OF COURSE WE'RE [ Robotic voice .]
MAKING OUR OWN DECISIONS.
WE ARE STILL SEPARATE PEOPLE.
-AAH! -AAH! DID YOU SEE THAT?! SHE'S TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR MIND! SHE'S NOT JUST A SOCIAL PARASITE! SHE'S AN ACTUAL PARASITE! YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
WE'RE LEAVING.
UH, BUT LOOK AT IT -- JUST LIKE A LEECH! JODIE IS JUST TIRED FROM PLAYING DODGEBALL.
BUT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! SHE CAN WALK ON HER OWN TWO FEET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS SCHOOL! APART FROM HIM.
AND HIM.
OKAY, AND HER, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! [ Anais' voice .]
I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA.
[ Normal voice .]
IS SHE ALONE? UH-HUH.
[ DIALING .]
[ CELLPHONE RINGING .]
[ BEEP .]
HELLO? [ Anais' voice .]
Hey, Jodie, I think we should stop hanging out.
I would say it's not you, it's me, but I would be lying.
It's definitely you.
You're a scrounging, blood-sucking parasite.
ALSO, YOU SMELL LIKE MEDICINE, WHICH IS WEIRD, SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD MENTION IT.
GOODBYE! Actually, you know what? Bad-bye! Oh, also, if you see me, can you tell my brother where I am? 'CAUSE HE'S LOOKING FOR ME.
[ Normal voice .]
SO? [ CRYING .]
I THINK YOU WENT TOO FAR.
[ CRYING CONTINUES .]
HEY, JODIE PLEASE DON'T CRY.
I-IT WASN'T REALLY ANAIS ON THE PHONE.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A BAD FRIEND TO HER.
[ DISTORTED GRUNTING .]
UH, JODIE, DO YOU NEED A TISSUE? OR A BUCKET? [ SCREAMS .]
[ BOTH SCREAM .]
HEY, GET OFF MY SISTER'S EVERYTHING! LEAVE US ALONE! Darwin: THEY'RE GETTING AWAY! [ CLICKING, GROWLING .]
Anais: OW! OW! KINDA.
HEY, LOOK GO OF MY SISTER, YOU PARASITE! Both: I'M NOT A PARASITE! LET'S THROW SOME SCIENTIFIC FACTS AT 'EM! GOOD IDEA! A WOLVERINE CAN KILL A MOOSE! THE COLOR OF THE UNIVERSE IS A SHADE OF BEIGE CALLED COSMIC LATTE! MALE SEAHORSES CAN -- I MEANT THAT WE SHOULD THROW BOOKS! I SAID, THROW SOME FACTS 'CAUSE IT WAS, LIKE, A-AN ACTION-MOVIE QUIP.
[ SIGHS .]
NEVER MIND.
JUST THROW BOOKS.
BUT WE'LL HIT ANAIS.
JUST AVOID THE PINK PARTS.
-OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! THEY'RE EVEN FEELING THE SAME THINGS! [ CLICKING .]
[ BOTH HISS, GRUNT .]
THERE'S ONLY ONE SOLUTION LEFT.
IT BETTER NOT BE THROWING A SHOE AT THEM! WHY? YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER? WE TAKE THEM TO THE INFIRMARY.
OKAY, THAT IS ACTUALLY BETTER.
I'LL SET UP A TRAP.
YOU LURE THEM IN.
A HUMANE TRAP, PLEASE.
[ SCOFFS .]
OF COURSE.
[ DISTORTED GRUNTING .]
[ BOTH SCREAMING, GRUNTING .]
[ HISSES .]
[ SCREAMING CONTINUES .]
OHH! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! OW! [ CRASHING, CLATTERING .]
IS THAT YOUR IDEA OF HUMANE?! I THOUGHT SHE WOULD SEE THE YELLOW ROPE, DUCK, SLIDE ON THE OIL, AND GET DELICATELY TRAPPED INSIDE THE BOX.
I-I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD WELL, YOU KNOW THAT'LL BE THE CANDLE I PUT IN THE BOX IN CASE THEY WERE SCARED OF THE DARK.
AT LEAST THEY'RE IN THE INFIRMARY.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
[ MONITOR BEEPING .]
NURSE, WE NEED A C.
T.
SCAN, AN MRI, AND AN X-RAY -- STAT! RIGHT, AND I WANT A SIX-FIGURE SALARY, A CABRIOLET, AND A PENSION PLAN.
UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS THE SCHOOL INFIRMARY, NOT NASA.
ALL I HAVE HERE IS VITAMIN "C," SOME TEDDY-BEAR-SHAPED BAND-AIDS, AND A COUPLE OF LOLLIPOPS.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, ANYWAY? OUR SISTER GOT INFECTED BY A SOCIAL PARASITE! [ HISSES .]
[ MOANS .]
HMM.
[ MONITOR BEEPING .]
[ THUMPING .]
[ THUMPING QUICKENS .]
UH, OH, SORRY.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
SO, WHAT DO WE DO? PRETTY SIMPLE -- YOUR SISTER NEEDS TO LET GO OF THAT POOR GIRL.
SHE IS THE PARASITE.
-WHAT?! -WHAT?! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BORROW A PEN.
[ PEN CLICKS .]
[ Raspy .]
FRIEND [ Raspy .]
FRIEND [ SPOON CLATTERS .]
[ Raspy .]
FRIEND I-I-I-I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS.
FRIEND! UH, UH, OKAY, OKAY.
[ SIGHS .]
ANAIS! I'M SORRY.
I WAS REALLY EXCITED, AND I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I'LL LET GO OF YOU NOW.
[ SQUISHING, DISTORTED GRUNTING .]
OH! [ HORN HONKS, CHICKEN CLUCKS .]
HUNH! I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.
I-I KNOW I ACTED CRAZY, BUT IT'S BECAUSE I NEVER HAD A SCHOOL FRIEND BEFORE.
SO I GOT A LITTLE CLINGY.
I THINK IF IF YOU GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE AND GOT TO KNOW THE LESS INSANE, MORE NORMAL ME, WE COULD ACTUALLY BE REAL FRIENDS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHE WENT THAT WAY.
FRIEND! [ WHIRRING .]
[ WHIRRING CONTINUES .]
-WHAT THE?! -WHAT THE?! BOBERT, WHAT HAPPENED?! UNKNOWN MALFUNCTION DETECTED.
ATTEMPTING SELF-DIAGNOSIS.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR SYSTEM? A VIRUS IS PARASITING MY HARD DRIVE.
FILE NAME -- ILoveYou.
exe.
[ BOTH SIGH .]
DUDE, IT'S NOT A VIRUS.
YOU'RE IN LOVE.
[ WHIRRING .]
PROCESSING INFORMATION.
[ BONK! .]
TERMINOLOGY UNRECOGNIZED.
DEFINE "LOVE.
" WELL, LOVE IS IN THE AIR.
IT'S IN YOUR HEART, IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.
IT'S IN THE WAY PEOPLE TOUCH, THE WAY PEOPLE TALK, AND IT'S ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE.
IF I UNDERSTAND YOU CORRECTLY, YOU HAVE NARROWED THE DEFINITION OF "LOVE" DOWN TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYWHERE AND EVERYONE.
[ BONK! .]
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
MAYBE A SONG WOULD HELP YOU UNDERSTAND.
COME ON, MAN, COUNT US IN! A, 1 A, 1-0 A, 11-0 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.
[ BOTH INHALE DEEPLY .]
Both: LOVE.
WHAT IS LOVE? YES, THAT WAS MY QUERY.
WHAT IS LOVE? DOES IT FALL FROM ABOVE? LISTEN, BOBERT, TO THE WORDS WE SING WE ARE LOVE, AND LOVE IS EVERYTHING WARNING -- CIRCULAR REFERENCE DETECTED.
I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY TOYS I LOVE MY MOTHER AND I LOVE MAKING NOISE [ FARTS .]
I LOVE MY TELEVISION DARLING, I LOVE YOU LOVE IS AS OLD AS TIME AND LOVE IS ALWAYS NEW DO WE LOVE EACH OTHER? I GUESS WE SORT OF DO LOVE IS EVERYWHERE, AND LOVE IS IN YOU LOVE IS IN THE STARS AND LOVE IS IN THE TREES LISTEN, BOBERT ARE YOU STARTING TO BELIEVE? LOVE IS INVISIBLE LOVE HAS NO NAME LOVE IS SCORING ZERO IN A TENNIS GAME.
LOVE IS ALL AROUND US LOVE FILLS YOUR HEART STACKED-UP ERROR.
PLEASE PRESS "RESTART".
WHAT IS LOVE? DOES IT FALL FROM ABOVE? LISTEN, BOBERT YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT TO LEARN ABOUT TO LEARN ABOUT LOVE [ CHUCKLES .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ PING! .]
[ GASPS .]
[ PING! .]
[ GASPS .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
WHAT THE -- I'M THE INTERNET! AAAAAH! WELL, DUH.
YOU'RE ON AN INTERNET-DATING SITE.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? GET OUT OF MY COMPUTER! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! [ Menacing .]
I AM LEGION! I AM EVERYWHERE! YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE INTERNET! NO, BUT I CAN CONTROL-ALT-DELETE IT.
[ CLICK .]
[ Normal voice .]
MOOOOOM! I GOT FRIEND-ZONED AGAIN! YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ON THIS EARTH.
SOME MIGHT SAY YOU'RE EXCESSIVE, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW GLORIOUS YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE.
LAYER AFTER LAYER REVEALS MORE SURPRISES.
YOU ARE PRECIOUS.
YOU ARE BEAUTEOUS.
YOU ARE PURE.
YOU DESERVE THIS LOVE.
SO, DROP YOUR STUPID SANDWICH AND GO TALK TO HER! KAREN? UH-HUH? [ SPLAT! .]
NOTHIN'.
Narrator: LOVE WAS ONCE A MYSTERIOUS FORCE, UNDERSTOOD ONLY BY BIRDS AND BEES, BUT TODAY, IT CAN BE EXPLAINED BY SCIENCE.
LOVE BEGINS WITH A VISUAL SIGNAL RECEIVED BY THE EYES.
THIS SIGNAL GOES DIRECTLY TO THE STOMACH, CAUSING WHAT WE CALL IN SCIENTIFIC TERMS "BUTTERFLIES.
" THE SIGNAL BOUNCES BACK, CAUSING THE BODY TO GO INTO SHOCK.
[ ALARM BLARING .]
THE BODY THEN EXPERIENCES A RISE IN TEMPERATURE, CAUSING THE PALMS OF THE HANDS TO PERSPIRE.
THE SHOCK EXTENDS TO THE LOWER PARTS OF THE BODY, CAUSING A SYMPTOM KNOWN AS JELLY LEGS.
FINALLY, THE SIGNAL REACHES THE BRAIN AND SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCES ANY FORM OF COGNITIVE ABILITY.
[ BOTH MURMURING .]
-AAH! -AAH! OH.
OH, WELL, SCRATCH THAT.
THERE ARE NO RULES TO LOVE, SO LET'S JUST DANCE.
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ HEART BEATS LOUDLY .]
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
MM.
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
-MMM.
-MMM.
[ BIRDS CHIRPING .]
OH, HEY.
[ GIGGLES .]
HOW YOU DOING? OH, HEY, THERE.
I'M GOOD.
LOOKIN' HOT.
[ CHUCKLES .]
HEH, YEAH, I GET THAT A LOT.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING, MAYBE WE COULD [ SIGHS .]
[ Mockingly .]
"LOOKIN' HOT?" THAT'S LIKE ASKING SATURN TO GIVE ME A RING.
[ Mockingly .]
"WELL DONE, MOON.
" HEY.
[ Normal voice .]
OH.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
HEY, LISTEN ABOUT LAST NIGHT WHAT, THAT "HOT" THING? AH, FORGET IT.
IT MADE MY DAY.
GET IT? "MADE MY DAY.
" [ CHUCKLES .]
[ SIGHS .]
OH, HEY, HEY.
OH, HI.
UH, SAY, H-HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? OH, WHAT, THIS? NO, IT'S JUST, IF I STAND IN THE SHADOW OF THE EARTH, IT'S KIND OF SLIMMING.
LOOK, SKINNYCHUBBY! [ LAUGHING .]
SKINNY! CHUBBY! OH, HEY, UH, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO, YOU KNOW, COME HANG OUT ON THIS SIDE.
AH, YEAH-HUH! Man: SACRE BLEU!! [ PEOPLE SCREAMING .]
WHOOPS! [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
I JUST FLOODED EUROPE.
IT'S OKAY.
I'VE GOT A BETTER GAME.
PEEKABOO! [ LAUGHING .]
[ LAUGHING .]
PEEKABOO! PEEKABOO! PEEKABOO! OH, THAT'S GOOD! [ SIGHS .]
PEEKABOO! AH-AH-CHOO! [ SMACK! .]
[ SMACK! .]
[ SPLASH! .]
[ CRASH! .]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES .]
YOU LOVE DIVINE THIS EVENING, DARLING.
THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
A TOAST TO OUR LOVE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
AH.
YEAH, OH.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
UH, WHAT DID YOU ORDER? SOUP DU JOUR.
AND YOU? SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS.
WOULD YOU CARE TO TRY SOME? [ GRUNTING .]
[ GRUNTING .]
[ SIGHS .]
MMM, DELICIOUS.
TRY SOME OF MINE.
[ GRUNTING .]
[ GRUNTING .]
[ GLASS CLATTERS .]
MMM, DELICIOUS.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
MM, MM.
THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
MMM.
[ SMOOCHING .]
MMM.
MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM.
MMM-MMM.
[ BOTH SMACKING LIPS .]
DESSERT, SIR? UH, JUST THE CHECK, PLEASE.
[ SIGHS .]
[ CRASH! .]
UNH! [ CRYING .]
[ CRYING CONTINUES .]
[ CRYING STOPS .]
[ CHATTERING .]
[ THUD! .]
[ SIREN WAILING .]
[ BARS CLANG .]
[ WOMEN VOCALIZING .]
[ CRASH! .]
[ MONITOR BEEPING .]
[ WOMEN VOCALIZING .]
Gumball: SO, BOBERT, WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE? WHAT IS LOVE? IT'S WHAT WE ALL DREAM OF TELL US, BOBERT WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED ABOUT LOVE? ANYONE CAN LOVE NO LOVE IS WRONG I HAVE NOW BECOME A LOVESICK DREAMER I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS OLD VACUUM CLEANER [ INHALES SHARPLY .]
-EH.
-EH.
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS .]
Anais' voice: "DEAR DIARY, TODAY, IT HAPPENED -- THE THING I WANTED MOST.
I MADE A FRIEND.
HER NAME IS JODIE.
SHE NEEDED A PEN, SO I LENT HER MINE -- WHICH IS WHY I WROTE THIS ENTRY WITH A PAINTBRUSH DIPPED IN YOGURT.
BUT SHE SMILED AT ME! FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I KNEW WE WERE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS!" Darwin: DUDE, THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IMPRESSION! THANK YOU.
BUT I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED WE SHOULD BE READING THIS.
[ Normal voice .]
AH, COME ON, WE DID THE PROS AND CONS.
MM.
OKAY, QUITE A FEW CONS, BUT ON THE PROS SIDE [ Anais' voice .]
"I HOPE I GET MY GROWTH SPURT SOON.
I'M TIRED OF USING THE CAT DOOR AT GRANNY JOJO'S HOUSE BECAUSE I CAN'T REACH HER DOORKNOB.
" [ MUFFLED CHUCKLE .]
OKAY, LET'S JUST READ A LITTLE MORE.
"TODAY, I GOT TO SIT WITH JODIE IN THE CAFETERIA.
SHE STILL LOOKED HUNGRY AFTER FINISHING HER LUNCH, SO I GAVE HER MINE.
JODIE WAS SCARED SHE'D GET A BAD GRADE FOR HER SCIENCE PROJECT, SO I GAVE HER THAT, TOO.
[ LAUGHS .]
SHE WAS RIGHT.
SCIENCE IS NOT HER STRENGTH.
BUT I WAS HAPPY TO HELP MY FRIEND.
LATER ON, WE WALKED BACK HOME TOGETHER.
SHE SAID SHE WAS TIRED, SO I CARRIED HER BAG.
" [ Normal voice .]
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS JODIE'S TAKING CREDIT FOR ANAIS' WORK, GETTING HER TO CARRY HER STUFF, AND EATING HER LUNCH! YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE?! YOU.
NO, I MEANT [SIGHS.]
YOU KNOW ANAIS.
IN SPITE OF BEING CLEVER AND SARCASTIC, SHE'S ALSO FRAGILE AND WEIRD, AND SHE HAS TROUBLE FITTING IN.
AND THIS PERSON IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER WEAKNESS, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S CALLED?! A GUMBALL? UH, UH, YEAH, BUT -- I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO THAT, OKAY?! I JUST DON'T THINK ANAIS SHOULD HANG AROUND WITH THAT KIND OF PERSON.
NOW YOU SOUND LIKE MRS.
MOM.
[ Mrs.
Mom's voice .]
NO, I DON'T! [ Normal voice .]
I REFUSE TO LET OUR LITTLE SISTER GET TRICKED BY THIS PARASITE! [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
ANYWAY, I GOT TO GO.
CAN YOU SEE HER? LOOK HARDER! NO.
[ GRUNTS .]
NO, I MEANT -- [GASPS.]
THERE SHE IS! HUH, FUNNY, SHE LOOKS EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINED.
DARWIN, GIVE ME YOUR SHOE.
THIS WILL TEACH YOU FOR TOYING WITH MY SISTER'S FEELINGS! OW! SO, JODIE, ARE YOU HUNGRY, FRIEND? [ BOTH GASP .]
DO SOMETHING! UH [ BREATHING HEAVILY .]
NO -- ABOUT HER! [ BREATHING HEAVILY .]
[ SIGHS .]
[ GROANS .]
I'VE GOT AN IDEA! WHAT? GIVE ME YOUR SHOE! UH, HOW ABOUT WE JUST WAIT AND SEE IF SHE'S ACTUALLY AS BAD AS YOU THINK? [ SIGHS .]
ALL RIGHT.
JODIE, WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT? SURE.
BEST FRIENDS? W-WELLUH UM, DO YOU WANT SOME CANDY? UH, OKAY.
WHAT'D YOU WANT? DON'T WORRY -- I'LL BUY ONE OF EACH.
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
YEAH.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
[ BOTH GASP .]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL -- SADNESS FOR OUR LITTLE SISTER OR ANGER AT THAT HORRIBLE FREELOADER! HOW ABOUT BOTH? [ BOTH GRUNTING, CRYING .]
[ GASPS .]
OHH! [ BALL BOUNCING .]
I'M OKAY, JODIE! WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU TRYING TO DO HERE? PROVE THAT ANAIS HAS BEEN BRAINWASHED BY JODIE! LOOK, I'LL THROW ANOTHER ONE.
NO, NO, NO! I-I BELIEVE YOU.
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP THROWING THINGS AT INNOCENT GIRLS AND YOU SPEAK TO ANAIS WHEN SHE'S ALONE? [ GRUNTS .]
Anais: HEY, JODIE, YOU WANT ME TO CARRY YOUR BAG? Jodie: [ SIGHS .]
OKAY.
[ GRUNTS .]
[ SMACK! .]
OW! [ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
HEY, ANAIS, WE NEED TO TALK.
WHAT ABOUT? [ Anais' voice .]
"DEAR DIARY, TODAY, I MET A WRETCHED FRIEND WHO TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ME AND DESERVES TO HAVE OBJECTS THROWN AT HER FACE.
" [ Normal voice .]
AGH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! THAT WAS FOR READING MY DIARY.
AGH! AND THAT WAS FOR USING MY VOICE WITHOUT PERMISSION.
[ CLANG! .]
AND THAT'S FOR TRYING TO THROW THINGS AT MY FRIEND! AND THAT'S FOR WORRYING ABOUT ME.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! SHE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND! SHE'S A PARASITE! FIRST, SHE USES YOU TO GET STUFF, THEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS, SHE TAKES OVER YOUR MIND, ATTACHES HERSELF TO YOUR BODY, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'S TURNED YOU INTO A FUNGUS THINGY SO SHE CAN RELEASE HER SPORES, CONTAMINATE MORE PEOPLE, AND DESTROY CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT! [ CLICKING, GROWLS .]
ISTOLE THAT LAST PART FROM A ZOMBIE VIDEO GAME.
IT'S JUST, I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL SAD WHEN YOU REALIZE SHE'S NOT A TRUE FRIEND.
LOOK, FOR ONCE, I GET TO HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO GIVES ME MY OWN PROBLEMS RATHER THAN SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME FIX THEIRS.
WHO'S THAT? SOUNDS AWFUL.
YOU! PLEASE DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME! FOLLOW HER! [ CLICKING, GROWLS .]
-[ SCREECHES .]
-AAH! THAT'LL BE 5 BUCKS.
I'LL PAY FOR ME AND MY FRIEND! NO, NO, NO, NO.
THAT CHICKEN IS SO OLD, IT CAME BEFORE THE EGG.
COME ON, LUNCH IS ON ME.
HERE, HELP YOURSELF, JODIE.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE FREE STUFF.
HMM.
WHO MADE THESE? OH, JUST ME AND DAD.
SO, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME, RIGHT? OF COURSE.
GREAT, THEN LET'S EAT.
OH, WAIT, YOU DON'T WANT THAT ONE, JODIE.
I THINK DAD WAS RUNNING OUT OF MAYO BY THE TIME HE MADE IT.
HERE, HAVE MINE.
IT'S GOT LOADS OF MAYO IN IT.
OH, YOU WON'T WANT THAT THEN.
IT'LL BE SOGGY.
HERE, LET'S SWAP.
I LOVE MAYO.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
WHAT?! NO! [ Muffled .]
YOU HATE MAYO, REMEMBER? WHAT? OH -- OH, YES, UH, I JUST REMEMBERED, I HATE MAYO.
OH, FOR DERP'S SAKE! [ GRUNTING .]
THERE, NOW IT'S FAIR FOR EVERYONE! [ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS .]
UH UH -MMM! -MMM! DISPATCHER: Hello.
911.
[ GURGLING .]
Hello? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! THE ONLY SENSIBLE THING -- POISON THE SANDWICH SO YOUR SO-CALLED FRIEND GETS THE MESSAGE THAT -- OKAY, NOW THAT I SAID IT OUT LOUD, I REALIZE IT SOUNDS KIND OF WRONG.
[ Robotic voice .]
WE THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO.
OKAY, WAIT, I'M CONFUSED.
ARE YOU USING THE ROYAL "WE" NOW? ARE YOU GONNA START PLAYING DOUBLES TENNIS ON YOUR OWN? WHEN YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM, ARE YOU GONNA SAY [ Haughty voice .]
"WE'RE HAVING TO WEE-WEES.
" [ Normal voice .]
LISTEN TO YOURSELF! YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAKING YOUR OWN DECISIONS ANYMORE! THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
OF COURSE WE'RE [ Robotic voice .]
MAKING OUR OWN DECISIONS.
WE ARE STILL SEPARATE PEOPLE.
-AAH! -AAH! DID YOU SEE THAT?! SHE'S TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR MIND! SHE'S NOT JUST A SOCIAL PARASITE! SHE'S AN ACTUAL PARASITE! YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
WE'RE LEAVING.
UH, BUT LOOK AT IT -- JUST LIKE A LEECH! JODIE IS JUST TIRED FROM PLAYING DODGEBALL.
BUT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! SHE CAN WALK ON HER OWN TWO FEET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS SCHOOL! APART FROM HIM.
AND HIM.
OKAY, AND HER, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! [ Anais' voice .]
I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA.
[ Normal voice .]
IS SHE ALONE? UH-HUH.
[ DIALING .]
[ CELLPHONE RINGING .]
[ BEEP .]
HELLO? [ Anais' voice .]
Hey, Jodie, I think we should stop hanging out.
I would say it's not you, it's me, but I would be lying.
It's definitely you.
You're a scrounging, blood-sucking parasite.
ALSO, YOU SMELL LIKE MEDICINE, WHICH IS WEIRD, SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD MENTION IT.
GOODBYE! Actually, you know what? Bad-bye! Oh, also, if you see me, can you tell my brother where I am? 'CAUSE HE'S LOOKING FOR ME.
[ Normal voice .]
SO? [ CRYING .]
I THINK YOU WENT TOO FAR.
[ CRYING CONTINUES .]
HEY, JODIE PLEASE DON'T CRY.
I-IT WASN'T REALLY ANAIS ON THE PHONE.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A BAD FRIEND TO HER.
[ DISTORTED GRUNTING .]
UH, JODIE, DO YOU NEED A TISSUE? OR A BUCKET? [ SCREAMS .]
[ BOTH SCREAM .]
HEY, GET OFF MY SISTER'S EVERYTHING! LEAVE US ALONE! Darwin: THEY'RE GETTING AWAY! [ CLICKING, GROWLING .]
Anais: OW! OW! KINDA.
HEY, LOOK GO OF MY SISTER, YOU PARASITE! Both: I'M NOT A PARASITE! LET'S THROW SOME SCIENTIFIC FACTS AT 'EM! GOOD IDEA! A WOLVERINE CAN KILL A MOOSE! THE COLOR OF THE UNIVERSE IS A SHADE OF BEIGE CALLED COSMIC LATTE! MALE SEAHORSES CAN -- I MEANT THAT WE SHOULD THROW BOOKS! I SAID, THROW SOME FACTS 'CAUSE IT WAS, LIKE, A-AN ACTION-MOVIE QUIP.
[ SIGHS .]
NEVER MIND.
JUST THROW BOOKS.
BUT WE'LL HIT ANAIS.
JUST AVOID THE PINK PARTS.
-OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! THIS IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! THEY'RE EVEN FEELING THE SAME THINGS! [ CLICKING .]
[ BOTH HISS, GRUNT .]
THERE'S ONLY ONE SOLUTION LEFT.
IT BETTER NOT BE THROWING A SHOE AT THEM! WHY? YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER? WE TAKE THEM TO THE INFIRMARY.
OKAY, THAT IS ACTUALLY BETTER.
I'LL SET UP A TRAP.
YOU LURE THEM IN.
A HUMANE TRAP, PLEASE.
[ SCOFFS .]
OF COURSE.
[ DISTORTED GRUNTING .]
[ BOTH SCREAMING, GRUNTING .]
[ HISSES .]
[ SCREAMING CONTINUES .]
OHH! -OW! -OW! -OW! -OW! OW! [ CRASHING, CLATTERING .]
IS THAT YOUR IDEA OF HUMANE?! I THOUGHT SHE WOULD SEE THE YELLOW ROPE, DUCK, SLIDE ON THE OIL, AND GET DELICATELY TRAPPED INSIDE THE BOX.
I-I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD WELL, YOU KNOW THAT'LL BE THE CANDLE I PUT IN THE BOX IN CASE THEY WERE SCARED OF THE DARK.
AT LEAST THEY'RE IN THE INFIRMARY.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
[ MONITOR BEEPING .]
NURSE, WE NEED A C.
T.
SCAN, AN MRI, AND AN X-RAY -- STAT! RIGHT, AND I WANT A SIX-FIGURE SALARY, A CABRIOLET, AND A PENSION PLAN.
UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS THE SCHOOL INFIRMARY, NOT NASA.
ALL I HAVE HERE IS VITAMIN "C," SOME TEDDY-BEAR-SHAPED BAND-AIDS, AND A COUPLE OF LOLLIPOPS.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, ANYWAY? OUR SISTER GOT INFECTED BY A SOCIAL PARASITE! [ HISSES .]
[ MOANS .]
HMM.
[ MONITOR BEEPING .]
[ THUMPING .]
[ THUMPING QUICKENS .]
UH, OH, SORRY.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
SO, WHAT DO WE DO? PRETTY SIMPLE -- YOUR SISTER NEEDS TO LET GO OF THAT POOR GIRL.
SHE IS THE PARASITE.
-WHAT?! -WHAT?! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BORROW A PEN.
[ PEN CLICKS .]
[ Raspy .]
FRIEND [ Raspy .]
FRIEND [ SPOON CLATTERS .]
[ Raspy .]
FRIEND I-I-I-I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS.
FRIEND! UH, UH, OKAY, OKAY.
[ SIGHS .]
ANAIS! I'M SORRY.
I WAS REALLY EXCITED, AND I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I'LL LET GO OF YOU NOW.
[ SQUISHING, DISTORTED GRUNTING .]
OH! [ HORN HONKS, CHICKEN CLUCKS .]
HUNH! I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.
I-I KNOW I ACTED CRAZY, BUT IT'S BECAUSE I NEVER HAD A SCHOOL FRIEND BEFORE.
SO I GOT A LITTLE CLINGY.
I THINK IF IF YOU GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE AND GOT TO KNOW THE LESS INSANE, MORE NORMAL ME, WE COULD ACTUALLY BE REAL FRIENDS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHE WENT THAT WAY.
FRIEND! [ WHIRRING .]
[ WHIRRING CONTINUES .]
-WHAT THE?! -WHAT THE?! BOBERT, WHAT HAPPENED?! UNKNOWN MALFUNCTION DETECTED.
ATTEMPTING SELF-DIAGNOSIS.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR SYSTEM? A VIRUS IS PARASITING MY HARD DRIVE.
FILE NAME -- ILoveYou.
exe.
[ BOTH SIGH .]
DUDE, IT'S NOT A VIRUS.
YOU'RE IN LOVE.
[ WHIRRING .]
PROCESSING INFORMATION.
[ BONK! .]
TERMINOLOGY UNRECOGNIZED.
DEFINE "LOVE.
" WELL, LOVE IS IN THE AIR.
IT'S IN YOUR HEART, IN THE EYES OF OTHERS.
IT'S IN THE WAY PEOPLE TOUCH, THE WAY PEOPLE TALK, AND IT'S ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE.
IF I UNDERSTAND YOU CORRECTLY, YOU HAVE NARROWED THE DEFINITION OF "LOVE" DOWN TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYWHERE AND EVERYONE.
[ BONK! .]
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
MAYBE A SONG WOULD HELP YOU UNDERSTAND.
COME ON, MAN, COUNT US IN! A, 1 A, 1-0 A, 11-0 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.
[ BOTH INHALE DEEPLY .]
Both: LOVE.
WHAT IS LOVE? YES, THAT WAS MY QUERY.
WHAT IS LOVE? DOES IT FALL FROM ABOVE? LISTEN, BOBERT, TO THE WORDS WE SING WE ARE LOVE, AND LOVE IS EVERYTHING WARNING -- CIRCULAR REFERENCE DETECTED.
I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE MY TOYS I LOVE MY MOTHER AND I LOVE MAKING NOISE [ FARTS .]
I LOVE MY TELEVISION DARLING, I LOVE YOU LOVE IS AS OLD AS TIME AND LOVE IS ALWAYS NEW DO WE LOVE EACH OTHER? I GUESS WE SORT OF DO LOVE IS EVERYWHERE, AND LOVE IS IN YOU LOVE IS IN THE STARS AND LOVE IS IN THE TREES LISTEN, BOBERT ARE YOU STARTING TO BELIEVE? LOVE IS INVISIBLE LOVE HAS NO NAME LOVE IS SCORING ZERO IN A TENNIS GAME.
LOVE IS ALL AROUND US LOVE FILLS YOUR HEART STACKED-UP ERROR.
PLEASE PRESS "RESTART".
WHAT IS LOVE? DOES IT FALL FROM ABOVE? LISTEN, BOBERT YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT TO LEARN ABOUT TO LEARN ABOUT LOVE [ CHUCKLES .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ CHUCKLES .]
[ PING! .]
[ GASPS .]
[ PING! .]
[ GASPS .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
[ PING! .]
WHAT THE -- I'M THE INTERNET! AAAAAH! WELL, DUH.
YOU'RE ON AN INTERNET-DATING SITE.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? GET OUT OF MY COMPUTER! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! [ Menacing .]
I AM LEGION! I AM EVERYWHERE! YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE INTERNET! NO, BUT I CAN CONTROL-ALT-DELETE IT.
[ CLICK .]
[ Normal voice .]
MOOOOOM! I GOT FRIEND-ZONED AGAIN! YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ON THIS EARTH.
SOME MIGHT SAY YOU'RE EXCESSIVE, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW GLORIOUS YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE.
LAYER AFTER LAYER REVEALS MORE SURPRISES.
YOU ARE PRECIOUS.
YOU ARE BEAUTEOUS.
YOU ARE PURE.
YOU DESERVE THIS LOVE.
SO, DROP YOUR STUPID SANDWICH AND GO TALK TO HER! KAREN? UH-HUH? [ SPLAT! .]
NOTHIN'.
Narrator: LOVE WAS ONCE A MYSTERIOUS FORCE, UNDERSTOOD ONLY BY BIRDS AND BEES, BUT TODAY, IT CAN BE EXPLAINED BY SCIENCE.
LOVE BEGINS WITH A VISUAL SIGNAL RECEIVED BY THE EYES.
THIS SIGNAL GOES DIRECTLY TO THE STOMACH, CAUSING WHAT WE CALL IN SCIENTIFIC TERMS "BUTTERFLIES.
" THE SIGNAL BOUNCES BACK, CAUSING THE BODY TO GO INTO SHOCK.
[ ALARM BLARING .]
THE BODY THEN EXPERIENCES A RISE IN TEMPERATURE, CAUSING THE PALMS OF THE HANDS TO PERSPIRE.
THE SHOCK EXTENDS TO THE LOWER PARTS OF THE BODY, CAUSING A SYMPTOM KNOWN AS JELLY LEGS.
FINALLY, THE SIGNAL REACHES THE BRAIN AND SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCES ANY FORM OF COGNITIVE ABILITY.
[ BOTH MURMURING .]
-AAH! -AAH! OH.
OH, WELL, SCRATCH THAT.
THERE ARE NO RULES TO LOVE, SO LET'S JUST DANCE.
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ HEART BEATS LOUDLY .]
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
MM.
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
[ INHALES SHARPLY .]
-MMM.
-MMM.
[ BIRDS CHIRPING .]
OH, HEY.
[ GIGGLES .]
HOW YOU DOING? OH, HEY, THERE.
I'M GOOD.
LOOKIN' HOT.
[ CHUCKLES .]
HEH, YEAH, I GET THAT A LOT.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING, MAYBE WE COULD [ SIGHS .]
[ Mockingly .]
"LOOKIN' HOT?" THAT'S LIKE ASKING SATURN TO GIVE ME A RING.
[ Mockingly .]
"WELL DONE, MOON.
" HEY.
[ Normal voice .]
OH.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
HEY, LISTEN ABOUT LAST NIGHT WHAT, THAT "HOT" THING? AH, FORGET IT.
IT MADE MY DAY.
GET IT? "MADE MY DAY.
" [ CHUCKLES .]
[ SIGHS .]
OH, HEY, HEY.
OH, HI.
UH, SAY, H-HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? OH, WHAT, THIS? NO, IT'S JUST, IF I STAND IN THE SHADOW OF THE EARTH, IT'S KIND OF SLIMMING.
LOOK, SKINNYCHUBBY! [ LAUGHING .]
SKINNY! CHUBBY! OH, HEY, UH, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO, YOU KNOW, COME HANG OUT ON THIS SIDE.
AH, YEAH-HUH! Man: SACRE BLEU!! [ PEOPLE SCREAMING .]
WHOOPS! [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
I JUST FLOODED EUROPE.
IT'S OKAY.
I'VE GOT A BETTER GAME.
PEEKABOO! [ LAUGHING .]
[ LAUGHING .]
PEEKABOO! PEEKABOO! PEEKABOO! OH, THAT'S GOOD! [ SIGHS .]
PEEKABOO! AH-AH-CHOO! [ SMACK! .]
[ SMACK! .]
[ SPLASH! .]
[ CRASH! .]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES .]
YOU LOVE DIVINE THIS EVENING, DARLING.
THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
A TOAST TO OUR LOVE.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
AH.
YEAH, OH.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
UH, WHAT DID YOU ORDER? SOUP DU JOUR.
AND YOU? SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS.
WOULD YOU CARE TO TRY SOME? [ GRUNTING .]
[ GRUNTING .]
[ SIGHS .]
MMM, DELICIOUS.
TRY SOME OF MINE.
[ GRUNTING .]
[ GRUNTING .]
[ GLASS CLATTERS .]
MMM, DELICIOUS.
[ BOTH LAUGH .]
MM, MM.
THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC NIGHT OF MY LIFE.
MMM.
[ SMOOCHING .]
MMM.
MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM-MMM.
MMM-MMM.
[ BOTH SMACKING LIPS .]
DESSERT, SIR? UH, JUST THE CHECK, PLEASE.
[ SIGHS .]
[ CRASH! .]
UNH! [ CRYING .]
[ CRYING CONTINUES .]
[ CRYING STOPS .]
[ CHATTERING .]
[ THUD! .]
[ SIREN WAILING .]
[ BARS CLANG .]
[ WOMEN VOCALIZING .]
[ CRASH! .]
[ MONITOR BEEPING .]
[ WOMEN VOCALIZING .]
Gumball: SO, BOBERT, WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE? WHAT IS LOVE? IT'S WHAT WE ALL DREAM OF TELL US, BOBERT WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED ABOUT LOVE? ANYONE CAN LOVE NO LOVE IS WRONG I HAVE NOW BECOME A LOVESICK DREAMER I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS OLD VACUUM CLEANER [ INHALES SHARPLY .]
-EH.
-EH.