The Sopranos s04e13 Episode Script
Whitecaps
I told you, you didn't have to come.
Yeah, let you drive yourself when you look this bad? Yeah? He's out.
He looks good.
- Talk to him.
Get a sense.
- Okay.
Your cousin's out of rehab.
Looks good.
Okay, I'm sorry about that.
Lyme titers, sed rate inconclusive.
Score one for the Italians.
- You don't have lupus.
- Thank God for that.
Think we might be looking at a viral syndrome maybe mono.
- Oh, God.
- How's your emotional level? Stress off the charts lately? Like all of us? - What do you mean? - Death, major change of any kind? No, just the usual.
One day runs into the next.
Stay on the Advil.
Your temperature goes up, you call me.
You know, it's amazing.
I got a relative who's got a heroin problem.
The people that need drugs, all they can get is shit like Advil.
Thank you for coming.
That was Grove Street.
I gotta make a stop down in Sea Bright.
- I don't feel well.
- You get some sea air.
- We'll go to Barr's.
You won't have to cook.
- Goddamn it.
Yeah, I really want lobster.
The student loan people called.
We're late with Allegra's nursing school payment.
- Where you going? - Nordstrom's.
They're having a sale.
Sallie Mae calls, and your response to that is to go shopping? It's a sale, John.
I need clothes for Italy.
- We're still going, aren't we? - Might be time for a little belt-tightening.
The bottom line is I'll be losing money if the Esplanade is shut down.
We should try to go.
I spoke to Nicole Lupertazzi.
When she and Little Carmine stayed at the Hassler last year, he loved it.
That's good for Little Carmine, then.
His fucking wallet isn't tied to the goddamned Esplanade, god damn it! John, why are you yelling at me? John, what'd I do? Is that my father's truck? What the hell's going on? Me to know, you to find out.
So, what do you think, Mel? Don't see no dry rot.
Mrs.
Soprano, Virginia Lupo, RElMAX Community Realty.
Hi.
That's right.
It's even got a name.
- Where did this come from? - That's if we can get it.
This is a huge amount of money.
And your construction project shut down That can't last forever.
It's for the family.
As the kids get older, it gets harder to keep us all together but this is a draw.
Bring friends down, have big cookouts, jet ski.
And for us, too, though.
When we were piss poor this was the biggest caviar wish we could come up with.
Kind of reminds you of the Kennedy compound, don't it? Can I ask you why they're selling? My husband said, "If we can get it.
" Well, there is a buyer already.
In fact, the house is sold.
But there's a chance that these buyers won't qualify for financing.
And I know the owner, Alan.
He lives just next door, here.
He's an attorney.
If you're offering cash, I thought you should at least see the place.
So, it's not really for sale.
It's just as well, because we couldn't swing this.
There's Al! The jury has claimed they are deadlocked.
However, I'm inclined to agree with prosecution.
I'm going to give them additional time to reach a verdict.
We should've had a hung jury mistrial.
Object, for Christ's sake! Allen charge.
It has to play out.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've communicated that you feel that you're unable to come to a unanimous verdict in this case.
Now, I know that you've been at it for a while, and it can be frustrating.
But we've all spent a lot of time on this trial.
And being as I have no reason to believe that another jury with the same evidence would be better able to reach a verdict I'm going to ask you to go back in there and reason with each other and apply the law and come back in here with a verdict.
If not, I wanna move on.
Here.
Did somebody check the order, make sure we got everything this time? Yes.
Well, keep me posted.
Dinner's served! - Get any sleep? - Couldn't.
We have absolutely no business getting into something like that house with A.
J.
Two years away from college.
That was Virginia Lupo on the phone.
She hasn't heard from the owner.
I guess that deal's gonna go through.
I wonder who they are.
Motherfucking, goddamn orange-peel beef! Call them up.
You got me plain soup, right? We'll be finished eating the rest before he gets back.
Go through the order while they're still here.
What good does that do? He's still gotta get it and come back again.
- What happened? - They left out part of the order.
- Call them up.
- Sit down and eat.
I guess some things just weren't meant to be.
What are we talking about? I was thinking of buying your mother a house down on the shore.
Un-fucking-believable! - Would we have a gym? - It's the shore.
Wouldn't you want to be outdoors? Forget that.
You're fined $3 for the F-word.
I heard Dad say "mother-F" when I was coming down the stairs.
He's fined, too.
We're gonna make this policy work.
It's too late.
What's going on? You know, it does seem like a good value, even at that price.
Waterfront property, in that area.
We probably wouldn't get hurt, as an investment.
You're the one that took real estate classes.
Didn't you say that a person shouldn't look at a house as an investment? I know you.
If you don't get the place, you'll sulk.
- And I'll be the wet blanket.
- I'll sulk? I was sleeping.
If you want me to sign off We probably wouldn't lose money.
But if you don't want to go through with it, believe me, that's fine, too.
But if you did, Virginia Lupo's phone number is on the bureau.
And, you know better to act quickly if, you know More is lost by indecision than by wrong decision, that's all I'm saying.
Hey, Jack Lemmon.
How's Lee Remick? So, how the fuck are you? - That place help you? - Yeah.
I found out about strengths I have I didn't even know I had.
- You look fucking great.
- Thank you.
Thank everybody for forcing me to deal with it.
- Especially Adriana.
- You're not shooting junk, right? Fuck, no.
I'm completely clean and sober.
Which one of the 12 steps you on now? The only one I haven't done is go around to all the people I fucked over while I was using, and apologize.
Maybe you shouldn't do that one.
- You know, let sleeping dogs lie.
- That's what I was thinking.
Maybe in a couple of cases, I'll send flowers, or cash in some cases.
- Where's Carmine at? - No change whatsoever.
Where are you at? I think a movement from below is not palatable to the other bosses.
It's what they fear most.
A movement from outside, it's more forgivable and more understandable, given the facts, here.
I mean, you've been reasonable.
If I do it, what do you do for me? I take a sad song and make it better with the other families, as regards you.
You're smart to have reservations but there's differences between this and Castellano.
Yes, you still got the four other families who could raise a stink but Andy's my brother-in-law.
I have their ear.
I'm gonna pass.
- Fuck are you talking about? - I'm taking the risk.
Fuck what were you talking about last time then? What would it take? Fuck even one percentage point.
All claims to my HUD business are irrigated.
All right.
All future construction projects, What I'm gonna tell you is for your ears only, and Sil's.
We're gonna take out Carmine Lupertazzi.
Johnny Sack's gonna go to war.
No, he's not.
That's right.
See, Carmine's got major income besides construction, Johnny don't.
Only other person hurting worse than either of the pricks is me.
Whacking the boss of one of the five families? - Johnny's a snaky fuck.
- That's something to be considered.
But remember, also, how deeply hurt fucking Johnny felt over Carmine not backing him on those slurs against Ginny.
Life's funny.
Carmine never made that right with John.
I knew back then that was a mistake.
Gonna hit Carmine soon? If I'm gonna buy this house, I need the Esplanade scratch.
It shouldn't look like what it is.
Home invasion, carjacking, fucking ingrown toenail I know these black guys from Irvington.
That's the right idea.
It can never get out who whacked the old fuck.
- Are they trustworthy, these guys? - Yeah.
Make sure.
Help you? Hi, how you doing? I'm Tony Soprano.
I was here with my wife the other day with Virginia Lupo.
- Right.
Alan Sapinsly.
- How are you? So, what do you think? She says those other people are gonna go through with it.
I was gonna go talk to you, frankly, after I took another look at the place.
This is galling because I don't think they're going to qualify for financing and we gave them this God-awful She liked Mrs.
Kim.
I can do 15 days.
Shortest allowable by law.
Never tire of painting this.
- You'd be coming in with cash, right? - Yeah.
Fuck this.
Dr.
Kim, hey, Alan Sapinsly.
It's not? Well, we've got serious problems.
On the house.
Sure.
He's going into surgery, doesn't want to talk there in the prep room.
Yes, I'm here.
What does your lender say? Jesus, Doctor.
I take almost no comfort from those words.
And were I you, I wouldn't either.
I'm aware we have a contract in place.
Doctor, please, I'm an attorney.
Look, Cho-Sun.
Wait, you're not listening.
Simply stated, I want the chance to sell to a more qualified buyer if I can find one at this late date.
Actually, it's very Wait, do you want to do all the talking and I'll just stand here? Thank you.
You call Virginia Lupo, she calls the bank, you get your deposit back.
Your wife's a grown woman, she'll adjust.
Dr.
Kim, I spent 10 years as a litigator.
Buy this property, I'll make your life a misery.
I can tort you into the poorhouse.
I've got an overseas call.
Think it over.
You have Virginia's number.
Who knows? We'll see.
I wouldn't want to be the patient he's gonna operate on.
Let's hold a good thought? Hello.
Virginia, sure, hi.
We did? All right.
Picture the fishing off that dock.
God, it really is beautiful, isn't it? First time I felt good signing papers.
Dad, blue crabs! Oh, my God, this is nice.
You'll inherit this.
Dad, what a thing to say.
Anthony Soprano you are full of surprises.
It's good to see a smile on your face.
Praise the Lord for sobriety.
The higher power.
- That 12-step shit doing for you? - Yeah.
Thanks for asking.
We sold you "H" when that was your thing.
Still we here when it's wop-whacking time in Brooklyn.
- It should look like a carjacking.
- See? That's why you came to us.
That's some stereotyping shit.
He goes mall-walking inside King's Plaza.
Macy's entrance, Avenue U and Flatbush.
You get the down payment? Next sound you hear Home of the burger, what's your beef? l'm sorry.
l have wrong number.
This is the Soprano residence.
Tony? No, this is Anthony.
Yes.
The handsome boy.
Who is this? Is your mother there? Ma, telephone! - Who is it? - I don't know.
Is this Mrs.
Soprano? Yes, it is.
I used to fuck your husband.
A.
J.
, I've got it! Tony loves me, you know.
lf it wasn't for his kids, you'd be out on the street.
What do you want? I thought you might want to know we have some sadness in common.
He has been sleeping with my cousin, Svetlana.
That's right.
While she was taking care of his uncle.
You piece of shit.
Yes, I'm a piece of shit.
I'm a piece of shit which the world, every morning, strains and pushes out of its butt! If you can, imagine where you are on the pecking order.
You call my house again you ever speak to one of my children again, I will track you down, and I will kill you.
We have got guns here.
l mean it.
You remember my cousin? She was also his mama's caregiver, with the one leg.
lt is so absurd, why would l make it up? What the fuck? - What the fuck are you doing? - You fucking shitbag! Don't come up here! Get the fuck out of this house! What's the matter? Carm, what did I do now? What did I do? Your mother told you what I said to your father about her psoriasis? I was just trying to be honest with him.
You have made a fool of me for years with these whores.
Now it's come into our home? - What are you talking about? - The Russian called.
Your son answered the telephone.
Oh, Jesus.
She's insane.
She's fucking certifiable.
I told you, you can't believe nothing she says, whatever it is.
We haven't seen each other like that.
I swear to Christ.
I told you! - What about her cousin? - What? No.
The nurse who took care of your mother, who I liked? Who I talked to on the telephone about your mother's alopecia and her bowel movements? Who you told me came from an agency? Who I shared vodka with the night your mother died? You've been fucking her? There is not a shred of truth in that.
Why'd the cousin make it up? Because she's jealous! Why you, fuck Let go of me! Just get out, Tony.
Don't even say anything.
I'm not going anywhere, and you know it.
So, let's just lie down, we'll calm down Get your hands off of me! Don't you touch me ever again.
Where's A.
J.
? So, you've had a one-legged one now? That's nice.
You've had quite a time on my watch.
The pre-school assistant - the weightlifter - At least I never stole from you.
Who stole, Tony? Who, me? My own wife, $40,000.
From the birdfeeder.
The birdfeeder.
Listen to yourself, you sound demented.
What, you want to hit me, Tony? Go ahead.
Just go away, please, I can't stand it anymore.
- I didn't do it.
- I found her fingernail, Tony! You saw it that day, on your night table.
I found it, and I put it there.
I know you saw it.
That What? That what? Nothing.
What? You know what I don't understand, Tony? What does she have that I don't have? I did not carry on an affair with the cousin and I will take a goddamn polygraph to that effect.
I want you to leave this house, Tony.
Please.
I want you to leave me alone.
What about the kids? Yeah, it's horrible.
God help them.
Open the fucking door, or I'll kick it in! She's not there.
Probably she hides in Brighton Beach.
She blames you for Ronnie Zellman.
You beat him with belt.
He felt weak in front of her.
She told me he couldn't perform.
They broke up not so long after.
Oh, fuck that! Who told her about us? Not you, please.
It was what's-her-name, right? The one who walked in on us.
We had bad argument over FICA and federal withholding.
I take from her paycheck.
Jesus fucking Christ.
FICA and federal withholding? I gotta go home tomorrow, and I gotta tell my kids we're separating.
It's going to rip them up.
Divorce is very hard for kids.
After this, they don't trust.
I'm child of divorce.
I shouldn't have been drinking in the afternoon.
How about a little sympathy here? You got ice in your veins? I had ice in my veins on your uncle couch? Most expensive piece of ass I ever had.
Right.
I know what you are thinking, too.
Take care, Tony.
You're a strong guy, you'll be all right.
What's up? So, how's it going with Christopher home? Good.
That place was a godsend.
So, the wedding's back on? We haven't talked about it.
Except Except what? He says he isn't sure anymore he'd be a good father after killing my dog.
You have kids? So, how's Tony? He's been house-hunting down the shore? Beautiful place, too.
What about Ralph? Cifaretto? Heard anything there? Chrissy says he has a pretty serious drug problem, too.
He may have hit bottom somewhere.
Chrissy says he wants to you know, help get him in recovery when he resurfaces.
You know Ralph's second-in-command, Vito? Yeah, the fat guy.
When Christopher was away, I had that asshole calling me every five minutes to see if I "needed anything.
" No! Does Christopher know? You kidding me? He'd kill him.
Not really, I mean You know, he'd be angry.
I'm supposed to meet my mom.
Go ahead.
Thank you.
I saw your car.
Qué pasa? Things aren't very good at home so I came down to sleep on my boat.
And it was being refinished, and the smell of the paint drove me out.
I'm sorry, I've been up to bat three times.
Yeah, I think she's thinking of separating.
What you wanna do, go around and meet perfunctorily with all the top divorce attorneys in your area.
That way, if the worst happens, they can't take her on as a client.
Conflict of interest.
- That's pretty good.
- Just do it, fella.
But you must find a hotel until you officially take possession.
Something happens to you, I'm liable.
Let me just clean up a little.
- Hi, I'm Tony.
- I know who you are.
Come in, please.
Tony, what's up? You know that thing we were talking about, this thing with me and my wife? Alan just told me.
The thing is, in light of it, I was going over it in the shower and I realized that as much as I want this place now is not the time for me to be buying a house.
Sorry, I know it's a big disappointment.
You ought to see how I feel.
I want to get my deposit back, and I'll get out of your life.
It's just not that clear to me how your marital situation negates the purchase.
I mean, most of this was for my kids.
For my wife.
- That is so sad.
- Excuse me, honey.
We had that place on the market a year and a half.
We had two offers: You and the Kims.
So, what about them? The Kims? I can't go back to them.
I guess I could, but I'm not going to.
They'd hold my feet to the fire.
I don't want to be insensitive with what you got on your plate but we had a signed contract.
- Alan.
- No! Baloney! I dumped a buyer 'cause they seemed to love the place.
- It was the cash and the short escrow.
- Look, who knows what's going to happen? You guys could be back together in a month leaving A.
S.
, here, fucked in the ass.
Whatever.
What's the big deal? Why don't you just let me out of this thing? I can't, I have partners.
Excuse me.
I got to take this.
It was very nice to meet you.
But I'm not buying your house.
That guy's a mobster.
They buy houses from people, they conduct business.
I dealt with them on that Neapolitan copyright thing for Enya.
I'll probably let him walk but that's a negotiation, which he knows full well.
You don't have any partners.
Thank you, Rabbi.
l just talked to Carmine.
He's ready to settle.
Are you kidding me? Everything's in motion.
Welcome to my world.
Have a seat.
I'm sorry to learn about the marital situation, Tony.
Our thing is more than a livelihood.
One of us suffers a personal tragedy, falls ill and whatnot we all feel it deeply no matter what kind of acrimony is in the air.
What's in the air is you're losing a lot of money.
We all agree we want to get back to earning but I reiterate again Zellman had a hand in HUD, so I can't, as a matter of principle relinquish my claim.
So? I said 40, you said 5.
5, which was ridiculous.
Let's split the difference.
20 percent.
All right, 15.
You know what? In the interest of putting this shit to bed if that's what it's going to take Good.
My son was a big help in all this.
I want you always to remember that even after I'm gone.
But I'm not going no place.
Healthy as a fucking rhino, this guy.
You stay that way.
Did you get any sleep? A little, I think.
Maybe it would be better if you went back to school.
Got your head into your schoolwork.
Be with your friends.
I'd just be thinking about what's going on here all the time.
I just keep thinking I used to feel so superior because so many of my friends had these fucked-up, divorced parents.
I guess I did, too.
And, like, Finn I'm not saying I want kids, but if we did I used to imagine we'd all be together on the holidays, Christmas all around this big fire.
You will have a wonderful future, Meadow.
We had a lot of wonderful times as a family.
All predicated on bullshit.
I don't want to fight with you, Meadow.
That's not true.
I think you know it.
It was 'cause of Furio, wasn't it? Who said anything about Furio? I have never been unfaithful to your father.
Daddy was.
This is not something I want to talk about.
I'm sorry.
Not now, not ever.
Jesus, how could you eat shit from him for all those years? Fresh pepper? Just a little.
About you and Carmela I'm sorry.
This is not al dente.
Hello? Fucking amazing, huh? Well, I guess that's that.
Things have a momentum of their own.
More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.
That's a good point.
Okay, then.
You'll hear from me.
That was J.
S.
- We're not on for Tuesday no more, right? - Wrong.
Johnny Sack.
I always worked very fucking hard to make him think I liked him.
I'd try to feel him out about shit.
I think he and Ralphie were in bed in some way.
It went bad with that joke shit.
We reached an agreement.
When Tony gave him his final number, Carmine's Depends blew out.
Oh, my fucking back! That cot at the pork store, not really good for sleeping, T.
With all due love and respect to Carmela I'd put her shit out on the curb and let it rain on her.
You can't disrupt the kids.
That shit traumatizes them for life.
It's his house as much as it is hers.
More.
I paid for it.
That's right, T, I'm on your side on this.
She's the one who talked me into buying it in the first place.
Now I'm out in the streets? These fucking phones.
We were better off years ago.
What? I hadn't heard from you.
My partners and I have decided to let you out of your obligation.
I want my $200,000 by the end of the week.
As to that, I'm not rescinding the deposit.
That's what they're for, to hold parties to agreements.
If you want to make me an offer No, I think I'll buy the house.
My family has parties till 4:00, 5:00 in the morning.
I can show damages.
I'm being generous in not bringing action to enforce the sale.
Damages? - They haven't started yet.
- Listen to me.
There's a paper trail to our dispute, and Virginia Lupo's a witness.
A hair on my head gets mussed, the authorities will know where to look.
Alan, you misread me entirely.
You must think I'm a fucking thug.
Just be forewarned.
You're not getting your deposit back! Jesus, you scared me to death.
This is my house, Carmela, and I'm not leaving.
Get out of here, Tony.
I asked you once, nicely.
All right, look.
I know what happened was wrong.
I was an asshole, and I apologize.
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
I said, "Get out.
" Make me.
I have an appointment with a lawyer, Tony.
I will get a restraining order.
A lawyer? Go ahead.
You know what? Call him.
Here, use my phone.
Fine, stay.
Come here.
You're not going anywhere.
Let go of me.
Your son will be home.
- You want him to see you like this? - You'd love that, wouldn't you? - I'm not leaving here.
- I don't love you anymore! I don't want you! You are not sleeping in my bed, Tony! The thought of it now makes me sick! Jesus Christ Almighty, I'm going fucking crazy! Think Mom's going to let you stay out here? Let? This is my house.
Ain't it better when I'm here? Well, sure.
Come on.
We'll bring them down to the garage tomorrow.
What time is it? - You just getting home? - We were studying.
Oh, yeah? From now on, I'm going to take a bigger hand in this shit.
I'm going to be right out here.
I want you to be respectful to your mother.
She's having a hard time.
- Did she say something? - I'm just saying.
All right.
Go to bed.
It's a school night.
The audiences have been given an abundance of programming and they vote every hour, every minute, every five minutes with their remotes.
Thanks, by the way, for drinking wine in front of me.
- Hello? - Call it off.
- The old guy.
- Yeah? - Something don't make sense here.
- You think it's a setup? Not necessarily, but our friend is very anxious to pass the ball, the prick.
But nobody can know this was ever considered.
I'll offer my guys half of what they'd have got.
- That should do it.
- I just want you to make sure.
l told you that.
So it behooves us to protect what we've earned.
It's all there.
If you get the taste to chip a little "H" again - don't forget to call us.
- Like we said, you'll keep this quiet.
- I got the mouth on a statue, nigga.
- Word.
See you around.
He ain't quit.
He's just freshening up.
Don't say jack shit to Kaesha about this or she be haunting my ass for that child support What? I was wondering when you would move those theater seats down to the garage.
Seriously? That's what you came out here to talk to me about? They are on the lawn.
They'll ruin the grass.
Bad for the grass! I can't put the sprinklers on over there without the seats getting wet.
They're your seats.
I don't want to wreck them.
I'll get right on it.
Why do you have to make even this little thing so difficult? What possible reason could you have for coming here to talk to me about theater seats except to bust my balls? I wanted to water while I was out.
Yeah, right.
Fuck you.
It's going to cost you $3.
You know what, Tony? What's done is done.
We are where we are, and it's for the best.
But just for the record, or it might even interest you to know that I might actually have gone on with your cheating and your bullshit if your attitude around here had been even the least bit loving cooperative, interested.
Whose idea was Whitecaps? It is just a bigger version of an emerald ring, so you can keep on with your other life.
You don't know me at all.
I know you better than anybody, Tony.
Even your friends.
- Which is probably why you hate me.
- Hate you? Don't worry, I'm going to hell when I die.
Nice thing to say to a person heading into an MRI.
You know, Tony I have always been sorry I said that.
You were my guy.
You could be so sweet.
Nobody could make me laugh like you.
Who the fuck did you think I was when you married me? You knew my father.
You grew up around Dickie Moltisanti and your uncle Eddie.
Where do you get off acting surprised and miffed when there are women on the side? - You knew the deal.
- Deal? Your mom talks all she wants about what's-his-name and his chain of drugstores.
Both of us know the other boyfriend you were debating marrying was Jerry Tufi, with his father's snowplow business.
And we now know that that wouldn't have suited you at all.
You really don't hear me, do you? - You think, for me, it's all about things.
- No, I forced all this shit on you.
What you really crave is a little Hyundai and a simple gold heart on a chain.
You are so fucking hateful.
Can I tell you something, Tony? Don't pretend like I got a choice.
The last year I have been dreaming, and fantasizing, and in love with Furio.
Every morning, when he'd come to pick you up I would look forward to it all night long, in bed next to you.
Those nights when you were actually in the bed.
And he would ring the doorbell I felt like my heart would come out of my chest.
He would smile, and we'd talk.
And then you would come down the stairs.
And I felt probably like someone who is terminally ill and, somehow, they manage to forget it for a minute.
And then it all comes back.
- He'd talk to you! Poor you! - He made me feel like I mattered! You asked me the other day what Irina's cousin has that you don't have.
And I thought about it, because it is a pretty good question.
She is sexy, even with the one pin gone, but that's not it.
I could converse with her, because she had something to say! I am here! I have things to say! Besides "Bring the chairs down," and "Did you sign the living trust?" She is a grown woman who has been kicked around and she's been on her own, and has had to fight and struggle.
Unlike me, is that it? Who the fuck wanted it like this? Who the fuck pissed and moaned at just the idea of me with a real estate license? Free to sit back for 20 fucking years and fiddle with the air conditioning and fucking bitch and complain to me! To your priest! Fuck it! Who knew, all this time, you wanted Tracy and Hepburn? What about the thousand other pigs you had your dick in over the years? The strippers, the cocktail waitresses.
Were you best friends with all of them, too? You fucking hypocrite.
The judge is calling you all into the courtroom.
Okay, thanks.
The number you are caling was blocked and cannot be caled back using your last-cal- return service.
"We are still hopelessly deadlocked.
"One juror refuses to deliberate, and can't be reasoned with.
"What should we do now?" Your Honor, again, I must move for a mistrial.
Your Honor, the government asks that you give them another Allen charge to go back and try again.
As much as I'd like to, this jury's been at it a long time.
I don't see where one or two more days is going to change anything.
Bring in the jury.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I see that you are hopelessly deadlocked and I have no choice but to declare a mistrial.
I know that you did the best you could.
You have performed a valuable service.
You may be excused.
Stay in touch.
Call me when your grandson is born.
I wouldn't want to think of you on that day.
Dad.
Battle of Tarawa.
Marines had no air cover.
It was a slaughter.
War? I don't know.
There's Coke in there.
Can I move in here? - What's wrong with your room? - I can't take it anymore.
Mom's just on my case all the time.
My dinner got cold.
So, I was on the phone with Devin.
We had to do an algebra problem.
Look, I told you she's having a hard time right now.
- She goes to a lot of trouble to cook meals.
- I didn't ask her to.
And it's not fair.
Why do I have to get stuck with her? Don't talk about your mother like that.
You don't have to put up with her shit anymore.
I heard you tell her off out by the pool.
You're not staying in here.
- Get that out of your head right now.
- Why not? It would hurt her feelings that you don't want to be in her part of the house.
Your old amp's hooked back up.
Be careful with that speaker.
You banged the other one.
What are you gonna do without your front speakers? - I'll take them.
- They're just borrowing them.
I'll come back for the amp.
You can come here and watch TV with me, but you can't stay here.
Fuck.
Go buy her one of those CDs she likes, and some flowers.
Tell her you're sorry, that you'll try to be more considerate.
We should call everybody, have a big party.
Call Volpe's and have them send over a couple of pies, but that's it.
There's a hearty Burgundy still in the fridge.
I don't suppose Tony would come with what's going on up at that abattoir.
I don't think so, Uncle Jun'.
I want to get one large cheese and tomato, and then one with alici.
Yeah, it's me.
l got you to hold my hand Babe l got you, babe l got you, babe Go down by the cellar door.
See if Murf left the envelope under the flagstone.
He wouldn't have been around today.
I'll go look later.
Do it now.
Is that asking so much? I just went through the trial of my life.
To wonderful friends to Alan's shark fin soup and to a wonderful day.
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Sands Hotel proudly presents the star of our show direct from the bar, Dean Martin! What the hell? It's that boat.
"Stugots"? Fucking goombah trash.
This whole shoreline's turning into the Gulf of Sorrento.
Buddy! Turn it down! Been waiting long? Sorry, I was interviewing divorce lawyers.
That's why I always ask myself, "Is it worth it financially?" You and Ginny are the old married couple.
Marriage can be very hard work if both aren't pulling that load.
I was wondering, why the delay? I was gonna call you.
You're not gonna be happy.
I'm out.
Whacking a boss is bad for business.
- And now that he's settled - We can weather it.
It's not just the internal upheaval.
Mr.
And Mrs.
John Q.
America, by and large, they sit still for our shit.
So, people get ripped off, they figure it's not them.
But if it's the fucking O.
K.
Corral out there the Feds take heat.
- This is very disappointing.
- I know.
But he's an old man.
You're gonna get your chance soon enough.
Don't go into coaching, Tony.
It's not your long suit.
- What I was gonna say - Tomorrow, I go in to work.
"Creeps on this petty pace.
" And I take orders from him again? Or that disgusting, fucking, cocksucker idiot son of his? - I shouldn't be hearing that.
- Really? What I was gonna say was it's a major step but if you wanna do it, without me as a partner you do what you gotta do.
I will never, ever reveal any conversation we ever had.
The thing is, we had those conversations.
Your mouth was moving along with mine.
We just go back about our business at the Esplanade, like it never happened? - That would be the healthy choice.
- Healthy for who? Why the fuck would I ever trust somebody who'd leave me holding my cock like this? - I shouldn't have heard that either.
- There you go.
There's the fucking problem.
I still consider you a dear friend.
They're actualy moored about two and a half centimeters away from the fire.
So, they are finaly making a little bit of an impact with their buckets.
I didn't know you were in the house.
- Just stopped by to pick up a few things.
- Fine.
The geeks are realy making some progress now! Turn that off and come here.
Got something to say to your mom.
I might as well tell you at the same time.
- It's almost over.
- Now.
I've been thinking about things, me living out there.
I've decided it's probably not a good idea.
What's going on? I was just telling everybody it's probably better if I don't live here anymore.
Because I wanted to stay in there with you? I won't ask.
- I just got pissed off.
- He asked to live with you? No, A.
J.
Come here.
That's not why.
- Where are you gonna go? - Don't worry about it.
You should go back to counseling.
It's better this way.
He's making the right decision.
He'll get a place, you will go and visit.
It'll be better, you'll see.
You guys could still get back together maybe.
Right? Yeah, sure.
We're still close.
God, is there nothing to eat in this house? Be careful.
I'll be at the Plaza.
Wel, l don't drink anymore.
l freeze it now and l eat it like a Popsicle.
A drink never hurt nobody.
You remember the great words of Joe E.
Lewis.
He says, "You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.
" Fucking gangster asshole! I'll call the police.
He'll just turn it down again when the police boat comes.
The coast guard.
He can keep paying those $200 fines forever, Alan! You've gotta let it go, Alan! Give him his money! God!
Yeah, let you drive yourself when you look this bad? Yeah? He's out.
He looks good.
- Talk to him.
Get a sense.
- Okay.
Your cousin's out of rehab.
Looks good.
Okay, I'm sorry about that.
Lyme titers, sed rate inconclusive.
Score one for the Italians.
- You don't have lupus.
- Thank God for that.
Think we might be looking at a viral syndrome maybe mono.
- Oh, God.
- How's your emotional level? Stress off the charts lately? Like all of us? - What do you mean? - Death, major change of any kind? No, just the usual.
One day runs into the next.
Stay on the Advil.
Your temperature goes up, you call me.
You know, it's amazing.
I got a relative who's got a heroin problem.
The people that need drugs, all they can get is shit like Advil.
Thank you for coming.
That was Grove Street.
I gotta make a stop down in Sea Bright.
- I don't feel well.
- You get some sea air.
- We'll go to Barr's.
You won't have to cook.
- Goddamn it.
Yeah, I really want lobster.
The student loan people called.
We're late with Allegra's nursing school payment.
- Where you going? - Nordstrom's.
They're having a sale.
Sallie Mae calls, and your response to that is to go shopping? It's a sale, John.
I need clothes for Italy.
- We're still going, aren't we? - Might be time for a little belt-tightening.
The bottom line is I'll be losing money if the Esplanade is shut down.
We should try to go.
I spoke to Nicole Lupertazzi.
When she and Little Carmine stayed at the Hassler last year, he loved it.
That's good for Little Carmine, then.
His fucking wallet isn't tied to the goddamned Esplanade, god damn it! John, why are you yelling at me? John, what'd I do? Is that my father's truck? What the hell's going on? Me to know, you to find out.
So, what do you think, Mel? Don't see no dry rot.
Mrs.
Soprano, Virginia Lupo, RElMAX Community Realty.
Hi.
That's right.
It's even got a name.
- Where did this come from? - That's if we can get it.
This is a huge amount of money.
And your construction project shut down That can't last forever.
It's for the family.
As the kids get older, it gets harder to keep us all together but this is a draw.
Bring friends down, have big cookouts, jet ski.
And for us, too, though.
When we were piss poor this was the biggest caviar wish we could come up with.
Kind of reminds you of the Kennedy compound, don't it? Can I ask you why they're selling? My husband said, "If we can get it.
" Well, there is a buyer already.
In fact, the house is sold.
But there's a chance that these buyers won't qualify for financing.
And I know the owner, Alan.
He lives just next door, here.
He's an attorney.
If you're offering cash, I thought you should at least see the place.
So, it's not really for sale.
It's just as well, because we couldn't swing this.
There's Al! The jury has claimed they are deadlocked.
However, I'm inclined to agree with prosecution.
I'm going to give them additional time to reach a verdict.
We should've had a hung jury mistrial.
Object, for Christ's sake! Allen charge.
It has to play out.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've communicated that you feel that you're unable to come to a unanimous verdict in this case.
Now, I know that you've been at it for a while, and it can be frustrating.
But we've all spent a lot of time on this trial.
And being as I have no reason to believe that another jury with the same evidence would be better able to reach a verdict I'm going to ask you to go back in there and reason with each other and apply the law and come back in here with a verdict.
If not, I wanna move on.
Here.
Did somebody check the order, make sure we got everything this time? Yes.
Well, keep me posted.
Dinner's served! - Get any sleep? - Couldn't.
We have absolutely no business getting into something like that house with A.
J.
Two years away from college.
That was Virginia Lupo on the phone.
She hasn't heard from the owner.
I guess that deal's gonna go through.
I wonder who they are.
Motherfucking, goddamn orange-peel beef! Call them up.
You got me plain soup, right? We'll be finished eating the rest before he gets back.
Go through the order while they're still here.
What good does that do? He's still gotta get it and come back again.
- What happened? - They left out part of the order.
- Call them up.
- Sit down and eat.
I guess some things just weren't meant to be.
What are we talking about? I was thinking of buying your mother a house down on the shore.
Un-fucking-believable! - Would we have a gym? - It's the shore.
Wouldn't you want to be outdoors? Forget that.
You're fined $3 for the F-word.
I heard Dad say "mother-F" when I was coming down the stairs.
He's fined, too.
We're gonna make this policy work.
It's too late.
What's going on? You know, it does seem like a good value, even at that price.
Waterfront property, in that area.
We probably wouldn't get hurt, as an investment.
You're the one that took real estate classes.
Didn't you say that a person shouldn't look at a house as an investment? I know you.
If you don't get the place, you'll sulk.
- And I'll be the wet blanket.
- I'll sulk? I was sleeping.
If you want me to sign off We probably wouldn't lose money.
But if you don't want to go through with it, believe me, that's fine, too.
But if you did, Virginia Lupo's phone number is on the bureau.
And, you know better to act quickly if, you know More is lost by indecision than by wrong decision, that's all I'm saying.
Hey, Jack Lemmon.
How's Lee Remick? So, how the fuck are you? - That place help you? - Yeah.
I found out about strengths I have I didn't even know I had.
- You look fucking great.
- Thank you.
Thank everybody for forcing me to deal with it.
- Especially Adriana.
- You're not shooting junk, right? Fuck, no.
I'm completely clean and sober.
Which one of the 12 steps you on now? The only one I haven't done is go around to all the people I fucked over while I was using, and apologize.
Maybe you shouldn't do that one.
- You know, let sleeping dogs lie.
- That's what I was thinking.
Maybe in a couple of cases, I'll send flowers, or cash in some cases.
- Where's Carmine at? - No change whatsoever.
Where are you at? I think a movement from below is not palatable to the other bosses.
It's what they fear most.
A movement from outside, it's more forgivable and more understandable, given the facts, here.
I mean, you've been reasonable.
If I do it, what do you do for me? I take a sad song and make it better with the other families, as regards you.
You're smart to have reservations but there's differences between this and Castellano.
Yes, you still got the four other families who could raise a stink but Andy's my brother-in-law.
I have their ear.
I'm gonna pass.
- Fuck are you talking about? - I'm taking the risk.
Fuck what were you talking about last time then? What would it take? Fuck even one percentage point.
All claims to my HUD business are irrigated.
All right.
All future construction projects, What I'm gonna tell you is for your ears only, and Sil's.
We're gonna take out Carmine Lupertazzi.
Johnny Sack's gonna go to war.
No, he's not.
That's right.
See, Carmine's got major income besides construction, Johnny don't.
Only other person hurting worse than either of the pricks is me.
Whacking the boss of one of the five families? - Johnny's a snaky fuck.
- That's something to be considered.
But remember, also, how deeply hurt fucking Johnny felt over Carmine not backing him on those slurs against Ginny.
Life's funny.
Carmine never made that right with John.
I knew back then that was a mistake.
Gonna hit Carmine soon? If I'm gonna buy this house, I need the Esplanade scratch.
It shouldn't look like what it is.
Home invasion, carjacking, fucking ingrown toenail I know these black guys from Irvington.
That's the right idea.
It can never get out who whacked the old fuck.
- Are they trustworthy, these guys? - Yeah.
Make sure.
Help you? Hi, how you doing? I'm Tony Soprano.
I was here with my wife the other day with Virginia Lupo.
- Right.
Alan Sapinsly.
- How are you? So, what do you think? She says those other people are gonna go through with it.
I was gonna go talk to you, frankly, after I took another look at the place.
This is galling because I don't think they're going to qualify for financing and we gave them this God-awful She liked Mrs.
Kim.
I can do 15 days.
Shortest allowable by law.
Never tire of painting this.
- You'd be coming in with cash, right? - Yeah.
Fuck this.
Dr.
Kim, hey, Alan Sapinsly.
It's not? Well, we've got serious problems.
On the house.
Sure.
He's going into surgery, doesn't want to talk there in the prep room.
Yes, I'm here.
What does your lender say? Jesus, Doctor.
I take almost no comfort from those words.
And were I you, I wouldn't either.
I'm aware we have a contract in place.
Doctor, please, I'm an attorney.
Look, Cho-Sun.
Wait, you're not listening.
Simply stated, I want the chance to sell to a more qualified buyer if I can find one at this late date.
Actually, it's very Wait, do you want to do all the talking and I'll just stand here? Thank you.
You call Virginia Lupo, she calls the bank, you get your deposit back.
Your wife's a grown woman, she'll adjust.
Dr.
Kim, I spent 10 years as a litigator.
Buy this property, I'll make your life a misery.
I can tort you into the poorhouse.
I've got an overseas call.
Think it over.
You have Virginia's number.
Who knows? We'll see.
I wouldn't want to be the patient he's gonna operate on.
Let's hold a good thought? Hello.
Virginia, sure, hi.
We did? All right.
Picture the fishing off that dock.
God, it really is beautiful, isn't it? First time I felt good signing papers.
Dad, blue crabs! Oh, my God, this is nice.
You'll inherit this.
Dad, what a thing to say.
Anthony Soprano you are full of surprises.
It's good to see a smile on your face.
Praise the Lord for sobriety.
The higher power.
- That 12-step shit doing for you? - Yeah.
Thanks for asking.
We sold you "H" when that was your thing.
Still we here when it's wop-whacking time in Brooklyn.
- It should look like a carjacking.
- See? That's why you came to us.
That's some stereotyping shit.
He goes mall-walking inside King's Plaza.
Macy's entrance, Avenue U and Flatbush.
You get the down payment? Next sound you hear Home of the burger, what's your beef? l'm sorry.
l have wrong number.
This is the Soprano residence.
Tony? No, this is Anthony.
Yes.
The handsome boy.
Who is this? Is your mother there? Ma, telephone! - Who is it? - I don't know.
Is this Mrs.
Soprano? Yes, it is.
I used to fuck your husband.
A.
J.
, I've got it! Tony loves me, you know.
lf it wasn't for his kids, you'd be out on the street.
What do you want? I thought you might want to know we have some sadness in common.
He has been sleeping with my cousin, Svetlana.
That's right.
While she was taking care of his uncle.
You piece of shit.
Yes, I'm a piece of shit.
I'm a piece of shit which the world, every morning, strains and pushes out of its butt! If you can, imagine where you are on the pecking order.
You call my house again you ever speak to one of my children again, I will track you down, and I will kill you.
We have got guns here.
l mean it.
You remember my cousin? She was also his mama's caregiver, with the one leg.
lt is so absurd, why would l make it up? What the fuck? - What the fuck are you doing? - You fucking shitbag! Don't come up here! Get the fuck out of this house! What's the matter? Carm, what did I do now? What did I do? Your mother told you what I said to your father about her psoriasis? I was just trying to be honest with him.
You have made a fool of me for years with these whores.
Now it's come into our home? - What are you talking about? - The Russian called.
Your son answered the telephone.
Oh, Jesus.
She's insane.
She's fucking certifiable.
I told you, you can't believe nothing she says, whatever it is.
We haven't seen each other like that.
I swear to Christ.
I told you! - What about her cousin? - What? No.
The nurse who took care of your mother, who I liked? Who I talked to on the telephone about your mother's alopecia and her bowel movements? Who you told me came from an agency? Who I shared vodka with the night your mother died? You've been fucking her? There is not a shred of truth in that.
Why'd the cousin make it up? Because she's jealous! Why you, fuck Let go of me! Just get out, Tony.
Don't even say anything.
I'm not going anywhere, and you know it.
So, let's just lie down, we'll calm down Get your hands off of me! Don't you touch me ever again.
Where's A.
J.
? So, you've had a one-legged one now? That's nice.
You've had quite a time on my watch.
The pre-school assistant - the weightlifter - At least I never stole from you.
Who stole, Tony? Who, me? My own wife, $40,000.
From the birdfeeder.
The birdfeeder.
Listen to yourself, you sound demented.
What, you want to hit me, Tony? Go ahead.
Just go away, please, I can't stand it anymore.
- I didn't do it.
- I found her fingernail, Tony! You saw it that day, on your night table.
I found it, and I put it there.
I know you saw it.
That What? That what? Nothing.
What? You know what I don't understand, Tony? What does she have that I don't have? I did not carry on an affair with the cousin and I will take a goddamn polygraph to that effect.
I want you to leave this house, Tony.
Please.
I want you to leave me alone.
What about the kids? Yeah, it's horrible.
God help them.
Open the fucking door, or I'll kick it in! She's not there.
Probably she hides in Brighton Beach.
She blames you for Ronnie Zellman.
You beat him with belt.
He felt weak in front of her.
She told me he couldn't perform.
They broke up not so long after.
Oh, fuck that! Who told her about us? Not you, please.
It was what's-her-name, right? The one who walked in on us.
We had bad argument over FICA and federal withholding.
I take from her paycheck.
Jesus fucking Christ.
FICA and federal withholding? I gotta go home tomorrow, and I gotta tell my kids we're separating.
It's going to rip them up.
Divorce is very hard for kids.
After this, they don't trust.
I'm child of divorce.
I shouldn't have been drinking in the afternoon.
How about a little sympathy here? You got ice in your veins? I had ice in my veins on your uncle couch? Most expensive piece of ass I ever had.
Right.
I know what you are thinking, too.
Take care, Tony.
You're a strong guy, you'll be all right.
What's up? So, how's it going with Christopher home? Good.
That place was a godsend.
So, the wedding's back on? We haven't talked about it.
Except Except what? He says he isn't sure anymore he'd be a good father after killing my dog.
You have kids? So, how's Tony? He's been house-hunting down the shore? Beautiful place, too.
What about Ralph? Cifaretto? Heard anything there? Chrissy says he has a pretty serious drug problem, too.
He may have hit bottom somewhere.
Chrissy says he wants to you know, help get him in recovery when he resurfaces.
You know Ralph's second-in-command, Vito? Yeah, the fat guy.
When Christopher was away, I had that asshole calling me every five minutes to see if I "needed anything.
" No! Does Christopher know? You kidding me? He'd kill him.
Not really, I mean You know, he'd be angry.
I'm supposed to meet my mom.
Go ahead.
Thank you.
I saw your car.
Qué pasa? Things aren't very good at home so I came down to sleep on my boat.
And it was being refinished, and the smell of the paint drove me out.
I'm sorry, I've been up to bat three times.
Yeah, I think she's thinking of separating.
What you wanna do, go around and meet perfunctorily with all the top divorce attorneys in your area.
That way, if the worst happens, they can't take her on as a client.
Conflict of interest.
- That's pretty good.
- Just do it, fella.
But you must find a hotel until you officially take possession.
Something happens to you, I'm liable.
Let me just clean up a little.
- Hi, I'm Tony.
- I know who you are.
Come in, please.
Tony, what's up? You know that thing we were talking about, this thing with me and my wife? Alan just told me.
The thing is, in light of it, I was going over it in the shower and I realized that as much as I want this place now is not the time for me to be buying a house.
Sorry, I know it's a big disappointment.
You ought to see how I feel.
I want to get my deposit back, and I'll get out of your life.
It's just not that clear to me how your marital situation negates the purchase.
I mean, most of this was for my kids.
For my wife.
- That is so sad.
- Excuse me, honey.
We had that place on the market a year and a half.
We had two offers: You and the Kims.
So, what about them? The Kims? I can't go back to them.
I guess I could, but I'm not going to.
They'd hold my feet to the fire.
I don't want to be insensitive with what you got on your plate but we had a signed contract.
- Alan.
- No! Baloney! I dumped a buyer 'cause they seemed to love the place.
- It was the cash and the short escrow.
- Look, who knows what's going to happen? You guys could be back together in a month leaving A.
S.
, here, fucked in the ass.
Whatever.
What's the big deal? Why don't you just let me out of this thing? I can't, I have partners.
Excuse me.
I got to take this.
It was very nice to meet you.
But I'm not buying your house.
That guy's a mobster.
They buy houses from people, they conduct business.
I dealt with them on that Neapolitan copyright thing for Enya.
I'll probably let him walk but that's a negotiation, which he knows full well.
You don't have any partners.
Thank you, Rabbi.
l just talked to Carmine.
He's ready to settle.
Are you kidding me? Everything's in motion.
Welcome to my world.
Have a seat.
I'm sorry to learn about the marital situation, Tony.
Our thing is more than a livelihood.
One of us suffers a personal tragedy, falls ill and whatnot we all feel it deeply no matter what kind of acrimony is in the air.
What's in the air is you're losing a lot of money.
We all agree we want to get back to earning but I reiterate again Zellman had a hand in HUD, so I can't, as a matter of principle relinquish my claim.
So? I said 40, you said 5.
5, which was ridiculous.
Let's split the difference.
20 percent.
All right, 15.
You know what? In the interest of putting this shit to bed if that's what it's going to take Good.
My son was a big help in all this.
I want you always to remember that even after I'm gone.
But I'm not going no place.
Healthy as a fucking rhino, this guy.
You stay that way.
Did you get any sleep? A little, I think.
Maybe it would be better if you went back to school.
Got your head into your schoolwork.
Be with your friends.
I'd just be thinking about what's going on here all the time.
I just keep thinking I used to feel so superior because so many of my friends had these fucked-up, divorced parents.
I guess I did, too.
And, like, Finn I'm not saying I want kids, but if we did I used to imagine we'd all be together on the holidays, Christmas all around this big fire.
You will have a wonderful future, Meadow.
We had a lot of wonderful times as a family.
All predicated on bullshit.
I don't want to fight with you, Meadow.
That's not true.
I think you know it.
It was 'cause of Furio, wasn't it? Who said anything about Furio? I have never been unfaithful to your father.
Daddy was.
This is not something I want to talk about.
I'm sorry.
Not now, not ever.
Jesus, how could you eat shit from him for all those years? Fresh pepper? Just a little.
About you and Carmela I'm sorry.
This is not al dente.
Hello? Fucking amazing, huh? Well, I guess that's that.
Things have a momentum of their own.
More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.
That's a good point.
Okay, then.
You'll hear from me.
That was J.
S.
- We're not on for Tuesday no more, right? - Wrong.
Johnny Sack.
I always worked very fucking hard to make him think I liked him.
I'd try to feel him out about shit.
I think he and Ralphie were in bed in some way.
It went bad with that joke shit.
We reached an agreement.
When Tony gave him his final number, Carmine's Depends blew out.
Oh, my fucking back! That cot at the pork store, not really good for sleeping, T.
With all due love and respect to Carmela I'd put her shit out on the curb and let it rain on her.
You can't disrupt the kids.
That shit traumatizes them for life.
It's his house as much as it is hers.
More.
I paid for it.
That's right, T, I'm on your side on this.
She's the one who talked me into buying it in the first place.
Now I'm out in the streets? These fucking phones.
We were better off years ago.
What? I hadn't heard from you.
My partners and I have decided to let you out of your obligation.
I want my $200,000 by the end of the week.
As to that, I'm not rescinding the deposit.
That's what they're for, to hold parties to agreements.
If you want to make me an offer No, I think I'll buy the house.
My family has parties till 4:00, 5:00 in the morning.
I can show damages.
I'm being generous in not bringing action to enforce the sale.
Damages? - They haven't started yet.
- Listen to me.
There's a paper trail to our dispute, and Virginia Lupo's a witness.
A hair on my head gets mussed, the authorities will know where to look.
Alan, you misread me entirely.
You must think I'm a fucking thug.
Just be forewarned.
You're not getting your deposit back! Jesus, you scared me to death.
This is my house, Carmela, and I'm not leaving.
Get out of here, Tony.
I asked you once, nicely.
All right, look.
I know what happened was wrong.
I was an asshole, and I apologize.
I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.
I said, "Get out.
" Make me.
I have an appointment with a lawyer, Tony.
I will get a restraining order.
A lawyer? Go ahead.
You know what? Call him.
Here, use my phone.
Fine, stay.
Come here.
You're not going anywhere.
Let go of me.
Your son will be home.
- You want him to see you like this? - You'd love that, wouldn't you? - I'm not leaving here.
- I don't love you anymore! I don't want you! You are not sleeping in my bed, Tony! The thought of it now makes me sick! Jesus Christ Almighty, I'm going fucking crazy! Think Mom's going to let you stay out here? Let? This is my house.
Ain't it better when I'm here? Well, sure.
Come on.
We'll bring them down to the garage tomorrow.
What time is it? - You just getting home? - We were studying.
Oh, yeah? From now on, I'm going to take a bigger hand in this shit.
I'm going to be right out here.
I want you to be respectful to your mother.
She's having a hard time.
- Did she say something? - I'm just saying.
All right.
Go to bed.
It's a school night.
The audiences have been given an abundance of programming and they vote every hour, every minute, every five minutes with their remotes.
Thanks, by the way, for drinking wine in front of me.
- Hello? - Call it off.
- The old guy.
- Yeah? - Something don't make sense here.
- You think it's a setup? Not necessarily, but our friend is very anxious to pass the ball, the prick.
But nobody can know this was ever considered.
I'll offer my guys half of what they'd have got.
- That should do it.
- I just want you to make sure.
l told you that.
So it behooves us to protect what we've earned.
It's all there.
If you get the taste to chip a little "H" again - don't forget to call us.
- Like we said, you'll keep this quiet.
- I got the mouth on a statue, nigga.
- Word.
See you around.
He ain't quit.
He's just freshening up.
Don't say jack shit to Kaesha about this or she be haunting my ass for that child support What? I was wondering when you would move those theater seats down to the garage.
Seriously? That's what you came out here to talk to me about? They are on the lawn.
They'll ruin the grass.
Bad for the grass! I can't put the sprinklers on over there without the seats getting wet.
They're your seats.
I don't want to wreck them.
I'll get right on it.
Why do you have to make even this little thing so difficult? What possible reason could you have for coming here to talk to me about theater seats except to bust my balls? I wanted to water while I was out.
Yeah, right.
Fuck you.
It's going to cost you $3.
You know what, Tony? What's done is done.
We are where we are, and it's for the best.
But just for the record, or it might even interest you to know that I might actually have gone on with your cheating and your bullshit if your attitude around here had been even the least bit loving cooperative, interested.
Whose idea was Whitecaps? It is just a bigger version of an emerald ring, so you can keep on with your other life.
You don't know me at all.
I know you better than anybody, Tony.
Even your friends.
- Which is probably why you hate me.
- Hate you? Don't worry, I'm going to hell when I die.
Nice thing to say to a person heading into an MRI.
You know, Tony I have always been sorry I said that.
You were my guy.
You could be so sweet.
Nobody could make me laugh like you.
Who the fuck did you think I was when you married me? You knew my father.
You grew up around Dickie Moltisanti and your uncle Eddie.
Where do you get off acting surprised and miffed when there are women on the side? - You knew the deal.
- Deal? Your mom talks all she wants about what's-his-name and his chain of drugstores.
Both of us know the other boyfriend you were debating marrying was Jerry Tufi, with his father's snowplow business.
And we now know that that wouldn't have suited you at all.
You really don't hear me, do you? - You think, for me, it's all about things.
- No, I forced all this shit on you.
What you really crave is a little Hyundai and a simple gold heart on a chain.
You are so fucking hateful.
Can I tell you something, Tony? Don't pretend like I got a choice.
The last year I have been dreaming, and fantasizing, and in love with Furio.
Every morning, when he'd come to pick you up I would look forward to it all night long, in bed next to you.
Those nights when you were actually in the bed.
And he would ring the doorbell I felt like my heart would come out of my chest.
He would smile, and we'd talk.
And then you would come down the stairs.
And I felt probably like someone who is terminally ill and, somehow, they manage to forget it for a minute.
And then it all comes back.
- He'd talk to you! Poor you! - He made me feel like I mattered! You asked me the other day what Irina's cousin has that you don't have.
And I thought about it, because it is a pretty good question.
She is sexy, even with the one pin gone, but that's not it.
I could converse with her, because she had something to say! I am here! I have things to say! Besides "Bring the chairs down," and "Did you sign the living trust?" She is a grown woman who has been kicked around and she's been on her own, and has had to fight and struggle.
Unlike me, is that it? Who the fuck wanted it like this? Who the fuck pissed and moaned at just the idea of me with a real estate license? Free to sit back for 20 fucking years and fiddle with the air conditioning and fucking bitch and complain to me! To your priest! Fuck it! Who knew, all this time, you wanted Tracy and Hepburn? What about the thousand other pigs you had your dick in over the years? The strippers, the cocktail waitresses.
Were you best friends with all of them, too? You fucking hypocrite.
The judge is calling you all into the courtroom.
Okay, thanks.
The number you are caling was blocked and cannot be caled back using your last-cal- return service.
"We are still hopelessly deadlocked.
"One juror refuses to deliberate, and can't be reasoned with.
"What should we do now?" Your Honor, again, I must move for a mistrial.
Your Honor, the government asks that you give them another Allen charge to go back and try again.
As much as I'd like to, this jury's been at it a long time.
I don't see where one or two more days is going to change anything.
Bring in the jury.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I see that you are hopelessly deadlocked and I have no choice but to declare a mistrial.
I know that you did the best you could.
You have performed a valuable service.
You may be excused.
Stay in touch.
Call me when your grandson is born.
I wouldn't want to think of you on that day.
Dad.
Battle of Tarawa.
Marines had no air cover.
It was a slaughter.
War? I don't know.
There's Coke in there.
Can I move in here? - What's wrong with your room? - I can't take it anymore.
Mom's just on my case all the time.
My dinner got cold.
So, I was on the phone with Devin.
We had to do an algebra problem.
Look, I told you she's having a hard time right now.
- She goes to a lot of trouble to cook meals.
- I didn't ask her to.
And it's not fair.
Why do I have to get stuck with her? Don't talk about your mother like that.
You don't have to put up with her shit anymore.
I heard you tell her off out by the pool.
You're not staying in here.
- Get that out of your head right now.
- Why not? It would hurt her feelings that you don't want to be in her part of the house.
Your old amp's hooked back up.
Be careful with that speaker.
You banged the other one.
What are you gonna do without your front speakers? - I'll take them.
- They're just borrowing them.
I'll come back for the amp.
You can come here and watch TV with me, but you can't stay here.
Fuck.
Go buy her one of those CDs she likes, and some flowers.
Tell her you're sorry, that you'll try to be more considerate.
We should call everybody, have a big party.
Call Volpe's and have them send over a couple of pies, but that's it.
There's a hearty Burgundy still in the fridge.
I don't suppose Tony would come with what's going on up at that abattoir.
I don't think so, Uncle Jun'.
I want to get one large cheese and tomato, and then one with alici.
Yeah, it's me.
l got you to hold my hand Babe l got you, babe l got you, babe Go down by the cellar door.
See if Murf left the envelope under the flagstone.
He wouldn't have been around today.
I'll go look later.
Do it now.
Is that asking so much? I just went through the trial of my life.
To wonderful friends to Alan's shark fin soup and to a wonderful day.
- Hear, hear.
- Cheers.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Sands Hotel proudly presents the star of our show direct from the bar, Dean Martin! What the hell? It's that boat.
"Stugots"? Fucking goombah trash.
This whole shoreline's turning into the Gulf of Sorrento.
Buddy! Turn it down! Been waiting long? Sorry, I was interviewing divorce lawyers.
That's why I always ask myself, "Is it worth it financially?" You and Ginny are the old married couple.
Marriage can be very hard work if both aren't pulling that load.
I was wondering, why the delay? I was gonna call you.
You're not gonna be happy.
I'm out.
Whacking a boss is bad for business.
- And now that he's settled - We can weather it.
It's not just the internal upheaval.
Mr.
And Mrs.
John Q.
America, by and large, they sit still for our shit.
So, people get ripped off, they figure it's not them.
But if it's the fucking O.
K.
Corral out there the Feds take heat.
- This is very disappointing.
- I know.
But he's an old man.
You're gonna get your chance soon enough.
Don't go into coaching, Tony.
It's not your long suit.
- What I was gonna say - Tomorrow, I go in to work.
"Creeps on this petty pace.
" And I take orders from him again? Or that disgusting, fucking, cocksucker idiot son of his? - I shouldn't be hearing that.
- Really? What I was gonna say was it's a major step but if you wanna do it, without me as a partner you do what you gotta do.
I will never, ever reveal any conversation we ever had.
The thing is, we had those conversations.
Your mouth was moving along with mine.
We just go back about our business at the Esplanade, like it never happened? - That would be the healthy choice.
- Healthy for who? Why the fuck would I ever trust somebody who'd leave me holding my cock like this? - I shouldn't have heard that either.
- There you go.
There's the fucking problem.
I still consider you a dear friend.
They're actualy moored about two and a half centimeters away from the fire.
So, they are finaly making a little bit of an impact with their buckets.
I didn't know you were in the house.
- Just stopped by to pick up a few things.
- Fine.
The geeks are realy making some progress now! Turn that off and come here.
Got something to say to your mom.
I might as well tell you at the same time.
- It's almost over.
- Now.
I've been thinking about things, me living out there.
I've decided it's probably not a good idea.
What's going on? I was just telling everybody it's probably better if I don't live here anymore.
Because I wanted to stay in there with you? I won't ask.
- I just got pissed off.
- He asked to live with you? No, A.
J.
Come here.
That's not why.
- Where are you gonna go? - Don't worry about it.
You should go back to counseling.
It's better this way.
He's making the right decision.
He'll get a place, you will go and visit.
It'll be better, you'll see.
You guys could still get back together maybe.
Right? Yeah, sure.
We're still close.
God, is there nothing to eat in this house? Be careful.
I'll be at the Plaza.
Wel, l don't drink anymore.
l freeze it now and l eat it like a Popsicle.
A drink never hurt nobody.
You remember the great words of Joe E.
Lewis.
He says, "You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.
" Fucking gangster asshole! I'll call the police.
He'll just turn it down again when the police boat comes.
The coast guard.
He can keep paying those $200 fines forever, Alan! You've gotta let it go, Alan! Give him his money! God!