Boston Legal s04e14 Episode Script
Rescue Me
I don't think it's working out.
- What isn't working out? - Us.
Andrea michele, the client.
Am I getting my ass whipped? Not that I don't like that.
You need to tone it down.
Now I'm horny.
United states coast guard auxiliary- - a volunteer component of the coast guard.
- Let's go.
I get seasick, but whateve oh, we're gonna be in the military.
Already my penis feels bigger.
Katie.
A court-appointed, indigent client--check forgery.
I should be able to manage that.
Yes, manage it quickly, please, so we can put you on a case that might actually make this firm some money.
Hello.
"Dear maureen, "being with you is being.
"Thinking about the last time we madlove, " I feel both a total sense of peace "and a voracious hunger.
"When I am on you, I am.
Meet me.
" That's sweet, but I'm not maureen.
I'm maureen.
Guess who wrote this.
The suspense is simply more than I can bear.
My pastor.
We had an affair.
And this is one of the letters he wrote while we were together.
I loved hiM.
He dumped me.
I want to sue him.
- Clarence.
- Yes.
This is maureen.
She loves her pastor.
Clarence will help you.
Pay no attention to his shifty eyes.
hello.
- Who are you? - Who are you? Busy.
Andrea.
My friends call me the beav.
Uh, oh, yes.
I remember you.
You're the one that sued over the nuclear power plant.
Well, what is it today, beav? Congratulations.
Who's the lucky troop ship? Funny.
Got a first name? Extremely.
Extremely busy.
Hold o I bring business.
This ring is a zirconium.
It's supposed to be my mother.
You're very tall, by the way.
I sent her ashes to a company that takes out the carbon, heats it up, smashes it down and turns it into a memorial diamond.
But this, as I said, is not a diamond.
It's a cubic zirconium.
I've been defrauded.
I'm looking for a tall, distinguished yet privately debauched attorney to satisfy the beav, and you're it.
proudly presents sync:ßÇÈâÈâ Legal Season04 Episode14 hello, mr.
MorriS.
I'm katie lloyd.
I'll be representing you.
Leo.
Aries.
Now we've got that out of the way.
No, my name is leo.
Oh, I beg your pardo um I see yore charged with felony forgery, and there appears to be ample evidence.
Well, that's only because I did it.
Oh, I see.
Do you-- do you have a reason? I do.
I'm dying.
You don't look it.
You got me.
I'm not, and therein lies the problem.
You seem confused.
I'd be glad to explain over dinner.
How about you do so now? Okay.
Are you familiar with viatical settlements? A termally ill person signs over his life insurance policy for up-front cash and when that person dies, the company collects the policy's full death benefit.
Yes.
Four years ago, I was diagnosed with A.
I.
D.
S.
Bad blood transfusion.
He adds to assure me he's straight.
Anyway, I-I didn't respond to any of the medications, none.
My "t" cells plummeted, my viral load soared.
I couldn't work.
I had no savings.
I needed money to live on.
Well, to die on.
So you sold your life insurance policy? Yeah, they gave $40,000 and agreed to cover my health and life insurance benefits for the rest of my life, which seemed to be a few months away.
But then these new treatments came out-- they call them rescue drugsfor A.
I.
D.
S.
Patients who don't respond to normal medications-- and turned things around.
Great for me.
I get to live.
Not so great for the viatical company which promised to pay for my health insurance for the rest of my life.
And now they want out of the deal? And I still need the deal.
Basically, if I don't get the right treatment, I die.
So I took one of their checks, made counterfeits and started paying the premiums that way.
Evidently that's a crime? Well, I've been assigned by the court to your case, so I'm in luck.
I told him to get rid of it, but he didn'T.
What do you expect me to do? Backstop him.
Help make it go away.
She's suing her pastor for dumping her? That's ridiculous.
Ah, of course it is.
This is the firm where ridiculous Excuse me.
Hello.
need something? What are you doing? Mouth-to-mouth.
Coast guard training.
We need to know C.
P.
R.
No tongue.
I've saved you some time.
I've called the president of the company that makes these rings, and he's agreed to come here and meet with you.
You should be on your knees thanking me.
Win us the case, and I'll get down on mine.
Well, had she been drinking or-- no, no.
It was a school day.
She had been up the prior night studying for a test.
Earlier that week, she had pulled an all-nighter to finish a paper.
They think she fell asleep at the wheel.
How can I be of help, mrs.
Joseph? I believe that my daughter was hugely sleep deprived as a result of both stress and workload.
I partly blame myself for even letting her drive because I knew how tired she was, but she wouldn't be dead if it weren't for the I want to sue her high school.
you can't use a snorkel, man.
Why not? Well, they won't let you.
We're supposed to be able to save people.
You look like you need to be rescued.
Denny, I'm afraid of the water.
Don't say that to the coast guard! They won't let you in, man.
what's his problem now? I have no idea.
They'll drop the charges, just like that? No, not just like that.
It took a phenomenal bit of lawyering on my part.
And it's conditioned on the viatical company agreeing not to press charges.
I have a settlement conference scheduled for tomorrow at 10:00.
Well, what's your cause of action? Emotional distress.
For a break up? Well, this was her ptor.
There may be a special duty of care, like with a therapist.
I don't know, clarence.
Well, I might as well tr what's to lose? Honestly? Your career.
I don't mean to be harsh, but if you want to advance here, taking cases that waste the firm's time and resources isn't the best way to accomplish that.
Carl's not happy you ran with this.
He'll be happy if we get something.
You okay? So talk to me.
What's the matter? it's not a new discussion.
The cases we I've got clarence and lorraine handling a woman who's suing because her pastor dumped her.
Katie is taking care of a court-appointed matter.
Denny and alan are very busy trying to join the coast guard.
Your friend andrea wants me to sue some crematorium for turning her mother into a cubic zirconium.
I-it seems like every case we do-- carl.
Sorry.
I just took a client.
Her daughter was killed in a car wreck, and she wants to sue her high school for wrongful death, claiming they made her kid sleep deprived.
I just couldn't say no to the woman.
Sorry.
That's who we ar carl.
would you like to lighten the mood by talking about us? Sure.
Have you really been that unhappy? I think when people become parents, their personal lives get pushed to the back burner, where they sit dormant for years.
Husbands and wives become ancillary to each other, 'causing many a marriage to fail.
Mine did, as did the dozen or so of yours.
Funny.
You and i are very compatible, shirley.
We like the same movies, we go to museums together.
We just make splendid company when we're not off independently doing our own things.
And we make excuses for the lack of let's call it heat.
We're not that old, shirley.
And sexually, yoare still a beautiful, passionate woman.
I'm still capable of passion, without medication even.
I mean, these are the years when our personal lives should be very much on the front burner again.
And with you and I, together they're not.
Which brings me back to you deserve more, and so do I.
Does that make sense? A little too much, actually.
shirley, I've represented you.
I now need you to represent me.
Why? It's possible I might be disqualified from the coast guard cause I'm afraid of water.
I want to sue under the americans with disabilities act.
I think not.
an egregious wrong by your client has resulted in a great spiritual loss to miss janely.
They banged, he bailed, she bruised.
We're prepared to go forward with this.
But we're willing to entertain a settlement offer.
Would we be here if he'd kept on slapping her sheets? It wasn't cheap and ugly.
It was a profound love.
Tell her.
I was intoxicate I was powerless.
Did you love me? No.
bu.
it was lust.
What we were doing s a sin and had to stop.
And I couldn't leave my wife and marry you just for the lust.
That would just be sinning against you even more.
W-w-well, what do I do now? If I don't have you, what do I do? She was taking four A.
P.
Courses.
She was involved in at least 15 activities.
This was by her choice.
Well, it was and it wasn'T.
She saw everybody else doing it, and she didn't want to lag behind.
I-it--it just seems there's this frenzy, be it S.
A.
T.
Scores or getting into the best college, and the kids, even the ones who get a's like samantha, feel they can ways do more.
And you blame the school? Well, I-I realize that some of it comes from the parents.
We all want our kids to succeed, but but most of the pressure comes from their peers.
And certainly the schools can see the stress.
It's widespread.
Do the parents see the stress? Yes, and I did.
But how do you get your kid to decompress when she feels that if she doesn't take four A.
P.
Courses, if she doesn't succeed in sports, if she isn't involved in school government, then she can forget about going to a selective college? After all of her activities, she would come home from school at 9:00 or 10:00, only then to start her homework.
Now these schools need to set limits, and they don'T.
Did you? - I tried, but I- - ever lean on h to do better? Sometimes.
And I regret it.
If I had her back, I would say, "honey, let's go to the beach or take a hayride or build a snowman or" my god, these kids don't even go on spring break these days.
They use the time to visit colleges or take S.
A.
T.
Courses.
I'm sorry, judge.
I know that you don't want tears, but--but we put too much on these kids.
They don't sleep.
And my baby's dead because of it.
Good morning.
My name's katie lloyd.
I represent leonardo morris.
Yes, we've actually met before.
How are you, leo? Alive.
I can be such a killjoy.
And I'm bob winthrop, the C.
E.
O.
Of living securities.
- Katie lloyd.
- Pleasure.
First, let me say, mr.
Morris, we are happy for your recovery.
I've met with the district attorney.
I suspect she'd agree not to prosecute on the check forging if you agree not to press charges.
Done.
- Really? - Of course.
And I assume you'll agree not to pursue us civilly.
I can't do that.
You entered into a contract to pay for my health insurance.
You breached it.
That contract presumes a meeting of the minds.
Clearly there wasn't here.
- How do you figure? - Leo.
She asks.
Well, uh, I don't want to sound like ghoul, but that contract presumes you'd be dead within six months.
As it turns out, you could live forever.
That was you not wanting to sound like a ghoul? Look, everybody knows what viatical companies do.
We buy life insurance policies from dying people.
He presented himself as a dying man.
He didn't die.
What did you do with my mother? Well, as I was explaining to mr.
Sack, uh, despite our best efforts to provide you with a carbon, cremain-based gem-- yeah, wheris she? We encountered a glitch.
If you'll refer to the contract, "in the event of a material processing complication, "life-jewel guaranteesa-a substitute of equal or greater value.
" Cubic zionium is of greater value than ashes.
what, are you kidding me? I'll gladly provide you a full refund.
- I want you to refund me my mother, her ashes.
- Plus $25,00 well, we'll see you in court.
- Wait.
Now let's just hold on a second.
- Of course we're not going to accepthat insulting offer.
- Andrea, look- - here's a guarantee, mr.
Parkes-- call your lawyer.
We will see you in court.
go on.
Go.
What? You're upset with me.
I'm upset with myself for being manipulated.
Look, uh, may I call you "extremely," though it's a funny first name? Call me carl, beav.
You know, you need to loosen up a little.
Now how often does it happen that an oversexed woman barges in with a cubic zirconium, complaining that it's not her mother? W-what do you mean, I have no case? Well, maureen, courts don't intervene in failed romances.
To give another person one's love, that's everything, isn't it? It is, but when one enters into a love affair, he or she assumes the risk of a broken heart.
Can't you do anything? Because of what he did, I no longer even believe in god.
this just isn't fair.
You no longer believe in god? No.
How could I? Look, kids are raised with the mind-set now forget about love of learning, it's get into the trophy college.
All I ever hear about is how our kids don't learn, how r education system is failing.
It is.
Getting the grade is not the same as learning.
In fact, sometimes they're mutually exclusive.
The kids have mastered test taking.
It's memorization.
They forget it as soon as the exam's over.
Moreover, the competition has created a culture of cheating.
It's all about getting the advantage.
And it's every bit as bad as mrs.
Joseph suggests.
What do we do about it? Well, in my thinking, it does start with the parents.
They see dad-- now mom and dad-- competing in the workplace, maximizing career opportunities, exploiting any edge they can get.
We live in a society that likes to keep score.
It happens in life.
It's going on in the home, and--and we can't stop it from happening in the schools.
How about not offering the A.
P.
Courses? We do that, and the kids leave in droves and find someplace that does offer them.
Stress-management classes? We've got them.
The kids don't have time to schedule them in.
Limiting the amount of extracurricular activities? Well, it sounds good.
Problem is, when it comes time apply to college, our kids compete with kids from other schools.
What you're suggesting is we take away their ability to compete fairly.
How do we do that?We put a big sign saying, "if you want to go to harvard, don't enroll here"? Yes.
It doesn't have to be harvard.
Tell that to the parents.
Well, somebody's got to take the lead here.
How? Should we say, "don't aim for the top"? How about let's redefine what the top is? But it's the kids who define it.
Does getting into a select college mean they have a better chance of achieving success or happiness? - No.
- Well maybe you should start by telling them that.
Even assuming you really are willing to go to jail on the fgery-- if I can't afford my medications, my lifespan gets pretty short.
Prison doesn't really scare me.
You'd be dead long before this could ever get to trial, so why should we be scared of a lawsuit? His estate can sue for wrongful death.
Oh, come on.
Look, we make it possible for terminal people to enjoy some quality of life.
By betting on their death.
You don't know my business, counsel.
I will make it a point, sir, for the jury to know your business.
They will learn that your industry is rife with corruption, that it's largely unregulated by the S.
E.
C.
That a grand jury indeed found that up to 50% of viatical agreements may indeed have be procured by fraud.
- Look, you don't have-- - and while you entice investors by convincing them they're making a humanitarian investment that will turn a huge profit, you currently have no fewer than 11 lawsuits filed against you by these investors, who've yet to see any of the giant returns you guaranteed.
My investors have done just fine, thank you.
In the '80s perhaps, when A.
I.
D.
S.
Victims paid off by dying quickly.
You bought my client's policy when he was circling the drain.
You made what you thoughtwas a sure bet, and now that it's turned out otherwise, you renege.
You've breached a contract, mr.
Winthrop, and in so doing, have me it impossible for my client to afford his medication.
You very well may hasten his death, but hey, I'm sure the jury will find you quite sympathetic.
Okay, that was good.
Thank you.
So where do we go from here? Well, hopefully they'll make us an offer.
I mean you and me.
You got me all excited about living another 40 years or so.
Did I? If only I'd known getting arrested could have such an upside.
All the crimes I could have committed.
Leo, I-I represent you, so it would be extremely unethical to-- for me to-- to kiss you.
So now you're in trouble.
Big trouble.
I bett go.
Uh, you'll call? What's wrong with you calling? No, I meant if we get an offer.
I'll definitely be calling.
Night, leo.
Night.
Thank you for coming back.
Reverend joyner, I just want to extend my apologies.
It was wrong for my client to sue you.
I must confess I hadn't properly reviewed the facts, but now that I have, we'll be withdrawing our claim forthwith.
What? Is this a trick? No, it's not a trick, ms.
Path I quite properly realized it shouldn't be kurt who maureen sues, but rather the church.
What? Why? Well, your relationship began with you as her pastor.
You were acting as an agent of the church.
Nice try.
You can't sue a church for a broken heart, twiggy.
The claim would be loss of faith.
The reverend has caused my client to lose her faith in god.
That's ridiculous.
Is it now? I suspect not to kurt.
I had opportunity to read several of his sermons, many of which eloquently convey how love and faith are inextricably, indelibly woven together.
"Whoever does not love does not know god because god is love.
" That's beautiful.
Yes, we quite rightly will be pursuing the church now.
They're a much deeper pocket, by the way.
Oh, and thank you for categorizing your feelings as lust.
It will help with liability, though I'm not se your congregation will be pleased to learn their pastor is a sinner.
Look, maybe we can just settle this.
No, we can'T.
Emma I can't have the church dragged into this.
She's extorting you, kurt.
She's just trying to scare you so youl quit fighting.
Is god a quitter? No.
I need more conviction, kurt.
Is god a quitter? No.
What would jesus do, kurt? He'd fight back.
Jesus wasn't a baby, was he, kurt? No.
Jesus would get her.
That's what he'd do.
He'd get her.
We're not settling.
What kind of preposterous nonsense is this? That's the kind of nonsense we specialize in, judge.
But as preposterous as it is, these companies actually exist.
They convert the remains of people into diamonds.
This firm, however, lost the ashes of my clients mother, and instead proffered a cubic zirconium.
It isn't right.
I don't really care.
Why should a court take up its valuable time with something so soso-- because it matters, judge.
Cases likehis really do matter.
Are you going to make me tell you why? Yes.
Okay.
I'm a great believer in capitalism.
It fuels our competitive edge, it's the lifeblood of our economy.
But it also can bring out some of our most disgusting tendencies.
And nowhere are we more exploitative, more disgusting, more soulless than we are in the death business.
Get them when they're grieving.
Whether it's the solid mahogany coffin, the choicest plot, the marble tombstone-- if you truly loved a lost one, you should pay through the nose to show it.
And they come up with ingenious, creative new ways profit off grief, like these diamond rings.
It's so easy to bilk people in their weakest emotional states.
They'll pay a higher price, they'll sign a misleading contract, they won't scrutinize the fine print.
My god, who first came up with, "let burn the bodies and sell urns"? The truth is, we are so desperate to hold on to our loved ones, we'll do anything.
My client sought to hold on to her mother with a ring.
They lost the ashes, they breached the contract, then tried to defraud her with a cubic zirconium.
And with that, I think our time has come to take advantage of them.
$750,000? I think we have to take it.
And they'll waive the forgery charges? They will.
You'll have a check this week.
What can I say? Marry me.
Then half the money would be mine, I suppose.
You know, once this case is over, I won't be a client anymore.
N-no, you won'T.
You'll be free to do whatever.
I suppose I will.
BuT you shouldn't do it here.
We've all heard the moans of the modern-day high school teacher-- "my kids aren't motivated, they don't want to learn.
" A-anthat's real, but we got another epidemic, especially in the middle-class, upper-class and affluent schools.
It's called teenage depression.
A recent study at the centers for disease contro found that have seriously considered suicide.
What? 17%? It is now the third leading cause of death for teenagers.
Some experts say drowsy driving is as deadly as drunk driving.
are sleep deprived.
This now, when we're learning that losing sleep causes a multitude of medical issues, not just depression, but anxiety, weakening of the immune system, A.
D.
H.
D.
High-stress teens are twice as likely to smoke, drink, use drugs.
What the hell is going on? Our kids are overstressed, overscheduled because it's all about getting the gre, getting into a good college.
Oh, they're arriving at college, by the way--fried.
Princeton is now considering recommending a gap year between high school and college because freshmen are showing up burned out, in no condition to learn.
Why in god's name do we have to teach A.
P.
Courses in high school? These are college courses.
What ever happened to wting for college? And the answer can't be, "we have to offer them 'cause other schools are.
" And for all the work those stressed-out kids are doing, there's no correlation between happiness, success and getting into the right school.
None.
Meanwhile, they're missing out on fun, downtime, beina teenager.
It's taking a physical and emotional toll.
The neuroscience on multitasking shows it hurts the brain.
It dumbs us down.
All this stuff our kids are doing to get ahead is setting them back.
Samantha joseph ended up dead.
This is a much bigger picture than high school.
It's our nation's power culture today.
Do everything it takes to get ahead.
The athletes take steroids, the students pop adderall, our elected officials engage in dirty politics-- it's all about winning.
And parents? they want their kids to win.
There may be no correlation between success and harvard, but they want their kids to wear the crimson just the same.
They look at their friends' kids, their neighbors' kids, and they want their own kids to be better than because we are a nation of winners.
Samantha joseph perhaps died in part because she was doing too much, trying to succeed in a competitive world.
And yet ask any parent what they want most, it's "prepare my teen to succeed in a competitive world.
" People today with A.
I.
D.
S.
Can live a-a long time, but many more die quickly, and it is not a fun death.
Is death supposed to bfun? Love is.
Have you considered, if this worked out, you couldn't have a biological child with him without risking A.
I.
D.
S.
To both yourself and the baby? Might you let us have a single date before counseling me on marriage? Relationships start with a single date.
I'm not your mother, but since your parents are in england and I'm the one that hired you, I would ask you to think very carefully about this.
Common sense can be an ugly beast sometimes, can't it? judas priest.
Too patriotic? What a suck up.
there's my little litigator man.
- Scute.
- Andrea.
I couldn't stop thinking abo yoand your big speech and-- andrea, by some miracle, the judge ruled in our favor, which means, oh, joy, we get to keep handling this megacase.
Speaking of trials of the century.
Clarence, lorraine, please tell me you got a settlement from the pastor.
We're working on it.
"Working on it.
" Here she comes.
I have truly wonderful news.
after kurt's disgusting behavior yesterday, I confronted him.
We got into a big fight, all kinds of emotions poured out.
Sum total-- he still loves me.
we're back together.
I'm dropng the suit.
Thank you all so, so much.
Oh, great! We came out of it with a thank-you.
Golly gee.
okay, here's the deal-- you need serious help.
That was a good thing that just happened out there.
Two people in love got back together--that's a victory.
The fact that you can't see past the bottom line to appreciate that-- you got a problem.
I appreciate it when I fall in love.
- As for maureen's bliss-- - oh, wait.
When was the last time that happened? That would be none of your business.
Yes, it is my business, because I want to go out with you.
I'm barely just getting out of a relationship.
Oh, a faux relationship.
We both know that.
Even shirley does.
Aside from all of the sexually transmitted diseases I'd be exposing myself to-- oh, that's funny.
My sex is safe, partner.
Oh, there I go, calling you "partner" already.
Okay, here's the deal-- when I am not in a relationship, I am prone to a few hollow thrills.
But when I'm in one, I am totally, unflinchingly monogamous.
You need somebody like me.
You know youO.
And you like me.
Why else would you have taken my stupid case? I think you need to leave now.
I'm not leaving.
- I'll call security.
- Go ahead.
Tell 'em to bring backup.
I read a book called "doing school" by denise pope.
I found it spot-on.
Every parent should read it.
Kids "do" school today.
It's not about learninG.
It's piling up achievements that look good on the college A.
P.
And it's gotten way, way out of hand.
And you know what as a society get out of it? A nation of test takers, club presidents and volleyball captains.
But we're losing the innovators, the free thinkers, the dreamers.
we lose our values-- honesty, integrity, aracter.
A bunch of outcome-oriented kids are being led by outcome-oriented teachers who are pushed by goal-driven parents.
And 20% of today's teenagers experience depression, and a large percentage of them, like ms.
Rome says, attempt suicide.
We need to get it together, fast.
I feel the high school is more likely in a better position to remedy this than the parents.
I'm going to allow this case to go forward.
We're adjourned.
Well, thank you.
This is just the start, carolyn.
It figures to be a very long journey.
Yes, yes, and I'm prepared to take it.
Are you with me? I am.
Okay, next up-- alan shore, you'll be rescuing mr.
Crane.
Oh, god help me.
Okay, we ready? Maybe I could rescue him by persuading him not to jump in.
Go! try not to drown me.
Okay, mr.
Shore, go.
Not everybody can get in the water.
Somebody's got to drive the boat.
I don't see why I couldn't just drive the boat.
- Go! - Oh, dear.
get 'em out.
we'll never get in now.
Oh, shut up.
where's my money? I was in the neighborhood and thought-- well, actually, I wasn't in the neighborhood.
I had to fight like hell through traffic to get here.
But now that I am here what? I spent a rather long night of the practical soul.
I don't fare very well against practical.
I don't think it would be a great idea for me to fall in love with you, leo.
And I fear if I were to spend time with you, I'd have no choice.
I realize I'm guilty of a bigotry.
But as bigotries go, one of the more reasonable ones.
You're an incredible man.
I just don't think I can go where this would inevitably lead.
Yeah, it was pretty selfish of me to expect otherwise.
- No, it's just- - katie I get it.
Um, andrea was in my office not long ago.
She got down on one knee and asked for permission to marry you.
she'd be good for you, carl.
hasn't even been a day yet, and you're pimping me out.
I'm jealous actually.
But part of being grown-up, I suppose-- we just broke up, for god sake.
Nobody's that much a grown-up.
I guess not, but I agree with what you said, and I actually do think andrea would be great for you.
And believe it or not, I really do want you to be happy.
She thinks I'm cute.
You are cute, carl.
You are incredibly cute.
I can still taste the chlorine in my lungs.
Oh, you're being a baby.
It's gonna be on our military record forever, you ow? - We can retake the test.
- I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
oh, shut up.
- What's the big deal, anyway? - It's a big deal.
If you don't finish at the top of your class, you don't make the short list for officer material.
You don't make officer-- well, aren't you just one fat microcosm of society? Get ahead.
'S just like whitney's case.
- All these high school kids- - how do you know about whitney's case? I know because I take time out to talk to my neighbors.
Maybe you should try that during one of your sexual solicitations.
go night for a jump.
You first.
o shut up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I screwed up the swim test.
I don't like to fail.
I won't even try something if I think there's a risk of failure.
- That's absur -no, it isn'T.
We're americans.
We're winners.
That's our culture.
Weeclare victory even if we losE.
That's who we are.
Well, maybe we all need to be a little more humble.
I don't like fighting.
Neither do i.
It's not healthy to go to bed angry at somebody.
Especially when it's your best friend.
Why don't we just get it over with? I feel better.
So do I.
Sleepover? I knew it.
forget it, denny.
One hug, right into the sack.
I said forget it.
It's not that I don't like them, but they need to be special.
If you have them all the time, they lose their specialness.
Ey're always special to me.
next time I'll eat something spicy.
The gas will make me buoyant.
they had to pull us to shore.
- You were gurgling.
- I wasn'T.
I heard it.
It was like two beached whales.
oh, we're pathetic.
I thought you were giving me the heimlich.
Oh, stop it.
- What isn't working out? - Us.
Andrea michele, the client.
Am I getting my ass whipped? Not that I don't like that.
You need to tone it down.
Now I'm horny.
United states coast guard auxiliary- - a volunteer component of the coast guard.
- Let's go.
I get seasick, but whateve oh, we're gonna be in the military.
Already my penis feels bigger.
Katie.
A court-appointed, indigent client--check forgery.
I should be able to manage that.
Yes, manage it quickly, please, so we can put you on a case that might actually make this firm some money.
Hello.
"Dear maureen, "being with you is being.
"Thinking about the last time we madlove, " I feel both a total sense of peace "and a voracious hunger.
"When I am on you, I am.
Meet me.
" That's sweet, but I'm not maureen.
I'm maureen.
Guess who wrote this.
The suspense is simply more than I can bear.
My pastor.
We had an affair.
And this is one of the letters he wrote while we were together.
I loved hiM.
He dumped me.
I want to sue him.
- Clarence.
- Yes.
This is maureen.
She loves her pastor.
Clarence will help you.
Pay no attention to his shifty eyes.
hello.
- Who are you? - Who are you? Busy.
Andrea.
My friends call me the beav.
Uh, oh, yes.
I remember you.
You're the one that sued over the nuclear power plant.
Well, what is it today, beav? Congratulations.
Who's the lucky troop ship? Funny.
Got a first name? Extremely.
Extremely busy.
Hold o I bring business.
This ring is a zirconium.
It's supposed to be my mother.
You're very tall, by the way.
I sent her ashes to a company that takes out the carbon, heats it up, smashes it down and turns it into a memorial diamond.
But this, as I said, is not a diamond.
It's a cubic zirconium.
I've been defrauded.
I'm looking for a tall, distinguished yet privately debauched attorney to satisfy the beav, and you're it.
proudly presents sync:ßÇÈâÈâ Legal Season04 Episode14 hello, mr.
MorriS.
I'm katie lloyd.
I'll be representing you.
Leo.
Aries.
Now we've got that out of the way.
No, my name is leo.
Oh, I beg your pardo um I see yore charged with felony forgery, and there appears to be ample evidence.
Well, that's only because I did it.
Oh, I see.
Do you-- do you have a reason? I do.
I'm dying.
You don't look it.
You got me.
I'm not, and therein lies the problem.
You seem confused.
I'd be glad to explain over dinner.
How about you do so now? Okay.
Are you familiar with viatical settlements? A termally ill person signs over his life insurance policy for up-front cash and when that person dies, the company collects the policy's full death benefit.
Yes.
Four years ago, I was diagnosed with A.
I.
D.
S.
Bad blood transfusion.
He adds to assure me he's straight.
Anyway, I-I didn't respond to any of the medications, none.
My "t" cells plummeted, my viral load soared.
I couldn't work.
I had no savings.
I needed money to live on.
Well, to die on.
So you sold your life insurance policy? Yeah, they gave $40,000 and agreed to cover my health and life insurance benefits for the rest of my life, which seemed to be a few months away.
But then these new treatments came out-- they call them rescue drugsfor A.
I.
D.
S.
Patients who don't respond to normal medications-- and turned things around.
Great for me.
I get to live.
Not so great for the viatical company which promised to pay for my health insurance for the rest of my life.
And now they want out of the deal? And I still need the deal.
Basically, if I don't get the right treatment, I die.
So I took one of their checks, made counterfeits and started paying the premiums that way.
Evidently that's a crime? Well, I've been assigned by the court to your case, so I'm in luck.
I told him to get rid of it, but he didn'T.
What do you expect me to do? Backstop him.
Help make it go away.
She's suing her pastor for dumping her? That's ridiculous.
Ah, of course it is.
This is the firm where ridiculous Excuse me.
Hello.
need something? What are you doing? Mouth-to-mouth.
Coast guard training.
We need to know C.
P.
R.
No tongue.
I've saved you some time.
I've called the president of the company that makes these rings, and he's agreed to come here and meet with you.
You should be on your knees thanking me.
Win us the case, and I'll get down on mine.
Well, had she been drinking or-- no, no.
It was a school day.
She had been up the prior night studying for a test.
Earlier that week, she had pulled an all-nighter to finish a paper.
They think she fell asleep at the wheel.
How can I be of help, mrs.
Joseph? I believe that my daughter was hugely sleep deprived as a result of both stress and workload.
I partly blame myself for even letting her drive because I knew how tired she was, but she wouldn't be dead if it weren't for the I want to sue her high school.
you can't use a snorkel, man.
Why not? Well, they won't let you.
We're supposed to be able to save people.
You look like you need to be rescued.
Denny, I'm afraid of the water.
Don't say that to the coast guard! They won't let you in, man.
what's his problem now? I have no idea.
They'll drop the charges, just like that? No, not just like that.
It took a phenomenal bit of lawyering on my part.
And it's conditioned on the viatical company agreeing not to press charges.
I have a settlement conference scheduled for tomorrow at 10:00.
Well, what's your cause of action? Emotional distress.
For a break up? Well, this was her ptor.
There may be a special duty of care, like with a therapist.
I don't know, clarence.
Well, I might as well tr what's to lose? Honestly? Your career.
I don't mean to be harsh, but if you want to advance here, taking cases that waste the firm's time and resources isn't the best way to accomplish that.
Carl's not happy you ran with this.
He'll be happy if we get something.
You okay? So talk to me.
What's the matter? it's not a new discussion.
The cases we I've got clarence and lorraine handling a woman who's suing because her pastor dumped her.
Katie is taking care of a court-appointed matter.
Denny and alan are very busy trying to join the coast guard.
Your friend andrea wants me to sue some crematorium for turning her mother into a cubic zirconium.
I-it seems like every case we do-- carl.
Sorry.
I just took a client.
Her daughter was killed in a car wreck, and she wants to sue her high school for wrongful death, claiming they made her kid sleep deprived.
I just couldn't say no to the woman.
Sorry.
That's who we ar carl.
would you like to lighten the mood by talking about us? Sure.
Have you really been that unhappy? I think when people become parents, their personal lives get pushed to the back burner, where they sit dormant for years.
Husbands and wives become ancillary to each other, 'causing many a marriage to fail.
Mine did, as did the dozen or so of yours.
Funny.
You and i are very compatible, shirley.
We like the same movies, we go to museums together.
We just make splendid company when we're not off independently doing our own things.
And we make excuses for the lack of let's call it heat.
We're not that old, shirley.
And sexually, yoare still a beautiful, passionate woman.
I'm still capable of passion, without medication even.
I mean, these are the years when our personal lives should be very much on the front burner again.
And with you and I, together they're not.
Which brings me back to you deserve more, and so do I.
Does that make sense? A little too much, actually.
shirley, I've represented you.
I now need you to represent me.
Why? It's possible I might be disqualified from the coast guard cause I'm afraid of water.
I want to sue under the americans with disabilities act.
I think not.
an egregious wrong by your client has resulted in a great spiritual loss to miss janely.
They banged, he bailed, she bruised.
We're prepared to go forward with this.
But we're willing to entertain a settlement offer.
Would we be here if he'd kept on slapping her sheets? It wasn't cheap and ugly.
It was a profound love.
Tell her.
I was intoxicate I was powerless.
Did you love me? No.
bu.
it was lust.
What we were doing s a sin and had to stop.
And I couldn't leave my wife and marry you just for the lust.
That would just be sinning against you even more.
W-w-well, what do I do now? If I don't have you, what do I do? She was taking four A.
P.
Courses.
She was involved in at least 15 activities.
This was by her choice.
Well, it was and it wasn'T.
She saw everybody else doing it, and she didn't want to lag behind.
I-it--it just seems there's this frenzy, be it S.
A.
T.
Scores or getting into the best college, and the kids, even the ones who get a's like samantha, feel they can ways do more.
And you blame the school? Well, I-I realize that some of it comes from the parents.
We all want our kids to succeed, but but most of the pressure comes from their peers.
And certainly the schools can see the stress.
It's widespread.
Do the parents see the stress? Yes, and I did.
But how do you get your kid to decompress when she feels that if she doesn't take four A.
P.
Courses, if she doesn't succeed in sports, if she isn't involved in school government, then she can forget about going to a selective college? After all of her activities, she would come home from school at 9:00 or 10:00, only then to start her homework.
Now these schools need to set limits, and they don'T.
Did you? - I tried, but I- - ever lean on h to do better? Sometimes.
And I regret it.
If I had her back, I would say, "honey, let's go to the beach or take a hayride or build a snowman or" my god, these kids don't even go on spring break these days.
They use the time to visit colleges or take S.
A.
T.
Courses.
I'm sorry, judge.
I know that you don't want tears, but--but we put too much on these kids.
They don't sleep.
And my baby's dead because of it.
Good morning.
My name's katie lloyd.
I represent leonardo morris.
Yes, we've actually met before.
How are you, leo? Alive.
I can be such a killjoy.
And I'm bob winthrop, the C.
E.
O.
Of living securities.
- Katie lloyd.
- Pleasure.
First, let me say, mr.
Morris, we are happy for your recovery.
I've met with the district attorney.
I suspect she'd agree not to prosecute on the check forging if you agree not to press charges.
Done.
- Really? - Of course.
And I assume you'll agree not to pursue us civilly.
I can't do that.
You entered into a contract to pay for my health insurance.
You breached it.
That contract presumes a meeting of the minds.
Clearly there wasn't here.
- How do you figure? - Leo.
She asks.
Well, uh, I don't want to sound like ghoul, but that contract presumes you'd be dead within six months.
As it turns out, you could live forever.
That was you not wanting to sound like a ghoul? Look, everybody knows what viatical companies do.
We buy life insurance policies from dying people.
He presented himself as a dying man.
He didn't die.
What did you do with my mother? Well, as I was explaining to mr.
Sack, uh, despite our best efforts to provide you with a carbon, cremain-based gem-- yeah, wheris she? We encountered a glitch.
If you'll refer to the contract, "in the event of a material processing complication, "life-jewel guaranteesa-a substitute of equal or greater value.
" Cubic zionium is of greater value than ashes.
what, are you kidding me? I'll gladly provide you a full refund.
- I want you to refund me my mother, her ashes.
- Plus $25,00 well, we'll see you in court.
- Wait.
Now let's just hold on a second.
- Of course we're not going to accepthat insulting offer.
- Andrea, look- - here's a guarantee, mr.
Parkes-- call your lawyer.
We will see you in court.
go on.
Go.
What? You're upset with me.
I'm upset with myself for being manipulated.
Look, uh, may I call you "extremely," though it's a funny first name? Call me carl, beav.
You know, you need to loosen up a little.
Now how often does it happen that an oversexed woman barges in with a cubic zirconium, complaining that it's not her mother? W-what do you mean, I have no case? Well, maureen, courts don't intervene in failed romances.
To give another person one's love, that's everything, isn't it? It is, but when one enters into a love affair, he or she assumes the risk of a broken heart.
Can't you do anything? Because of what he did, I no longer even believe in god.
this just isn't fair.
You no longer believe in god? No.
How could I? Look, kids are raised with the mind-set now forget about love of learning, it's get into the trophy college.
All I ever hear about is how our kids don't learn, how r education system is failing.
It is.
Getting the grade is not the same as learning.
In fact, sometimes they're mutually exclusive.
The kids have mastered test taking.
It's memorization.
They forget it as soon as the exam's over.
Moreover, the competition has created a culture of cheating.
It's all about getting the advantage.
And it's every bit as bad as mrs.
Joseph suggests.
What do we do about it? Well, in my thinking, it does start with the parents.
They see dad-- now mom and dad-- competing in the workplace, maximizing career opportunities, exploiting any edge they can get.
We live in a society that likes to keep score.
It happens in life.
It's going on in the home, and--and we can't stop it from happening in the schools.
How about not offering the A.
P.
Courses? We do that, and the kids leave in droves and find someplace that does offer them.
Stress-management classes? We've got them.
The kids don't have time to schedule them in.
Limiting the amount of extracurricular activities? Well, it sounds good.
Problem is, when it comes time apply to college, our kids compete with kids from other schools.
What you're suggesting is we take away their ability to compete fairly.
How do we do that?We put a big sign saying, "if you want to go to harvard, don't enroll here"? Yes.
It doesn't have to be harvard.
Tell that to the parents.
Well, somebody's got to take the lead here.
How? Should we say, "don't aim for the top"? How about let's redefine what the top is? But it's the kids who define it.
Does getting into a select college mean they have a better chance of achieving success or happiness? - No.
- Well maybe you should start by telling them that.
Even assuming you really are willing to go to jail on the fgery-- if I can't afford my medications, my lifespan gets pretty short.
Prison doesn't really scare me.
You'd be dead long before this could ever get to trial, so why should we be scared of a lawsuit? His estate can sue for wrongful death.
Oh, come on.
Look, we make it possible for terminal people to enjoy some quality of life.
By betting on their death.
You don't know my business, counsel.
I will make it a point, sir, for the jury to know your business.
They will learn that your industry is rife with corruption, that it's largely unregulated by the S.
E.
C.
That a grand jury indeed found that up to 50% of viatical agreements may indeed have be procured by fraud.
- Look, you don't have-- - and while you entice investors by convincing them they're making a humanitarian investment that will turn a huge profit, you currently have no fewer than 11 lawsuits filed against you by these investors, who've yet to see any of the giant returns you guaranteed.
My investors have done just fine, thank you.
In the '80s perhaps, when A.
I.
D.
S.
Victims paid off by dying quickly.
You bought my client's policy when he was circling the drain.
You made what you thoughtwas a sure bet, and now that it's turned out otherwise, you renege.
You've breached a contract, mr.
Winthrop, and in so doing, have me it impossible for my client to afford his medication.
You very well may hasten his death, but hey, I'm sure the jury will find you quite sympathetic.
Okay, that was good.
Thank you.
So where do we go from here? Well, hopefully they'll make us an offer.
I mean you and me.
You got me all excited about living another 40 years or so.
Did I? If only I'd known getting arrested could have such an upside.
All the crimes I could have committed.
Leo, I-I represent you, so it would be extremely unethical to-- for me to-- to kiss you.
So now you're in trouble.
Big trouble.
I bett go.
Uh, you'll call? What's wrong with you calling? No, I meant if we get an offer.
I'll definitely be calling.
Night, leo.
Night.
Thank you for coming back.
Reverend joyner, I just want to extend my apologies.
It was wrong for my client to sue you.
I must confess I hadn't properly reviewed the facts, but now that I have, we'll be withdrawing our claim forthwith.
What? Is this a trick? No, it's not a trick, ms.
Path I quite properly realized it shouldn't be kurt who maureen sues, but rather the church.
What? Why? Well, your relationship began with you as her pastor.
You were acting as an agent of the church.
Nice try.
You can't sue a church for a broken heart, twiggy.
The claim would be loss of faith.
The reverend has caused my client to lose her faith in god.
That's ridiculous.
Is it now? I suspect not to kurt.
I had opportunity to read several of his sermons, many of which eloquently convey how love and faith are inextricably, indelibly woven together.
"Whoever does not love does not know god because god is love.
" That's beautiful.
Yes, we quite rightly will be pursuing the church now.
They're a much deeper pocket, by the way.
Oh, and thank you for categorizing your feelings as lust.
It will help with liability, though I'm not se your congregation will be pleased to learn their pastor is a sinner.
Look, maybe we can just settle this.
No, we can'T.
Emma I can't have the church dragged into this.
She's extorting you, kurt.
She's just trying to scare you so youl quit fighting.
Is god a quitter? No.
I need more conviction, kurt.
Is god a quitter? No.
What would jesus do, kurt? He'd fight back.
Jesus wasn't a baby, was he, kurt? No.
Jesus would get her.
That's what he'd do.
He'd get her.
We're not settling.
What kind of preposterous nonsense is this? That's the kind of nonsense we specialize in, judge.
But as preposterous as it is, these companies actually exist.
They convert the remains of people into diamonds.
This firm, however, lost the ashes of my clients mother, and instead proffered a cubic zirconium.
It isn't right.
I don't really care.
Why should a court take up its valuable time with something so soso-- because it matters, judge.
Cases likehis really do matter.
Are you going to make me tell you why? Yes.
Okay.
I'm a great believer in capitalism.
It fuels our competitive edge, it's the lifeblood of our economy.
But it also can bring out some of our most disgusting tendencies.
And nowhere are we more exploitative, more disgusting, more soulless than we are in the death business.
Get them when they're grieving.
Whether it's the solid mahogany coffin, the choicest plot, the marble tombstone-- if you truly loved a lost one, you should pay through the nose to show it.
And they come up with ingenious, creative new ways profit off grief, like these diamond rings.
It's so easy to bilk people in their weakest emotional states.
They'll pay a higher price, they'll sign a misleading contract, they won't scrutinize the fine print.
My god, who first came up with, "let burn the bodies and sell urns"? The truth is, we are so desperate to hold on to our loved ones, we'll do anything.
My client sought to hold on to her mother with a ring.
They lost the ashes, they breached the contract, then tried to defraud her with a cubic zirconium.
And with that, I think our time has come to take advantage of them.
$750,000? I think we have to take it.
And they'll waive the forgery charges? They will.
You'll have a check this week.
What can I say? Marry me.
Then half the money would be mine, I suppose.
You know, once this case is over, I won't be a client anymore.
N-no, you won'T.
You'll be free to do whatever.
I suppose I will.
BuT you shouldn't do it here.
We've all heard the moans of the modern-day high school teacher-- "my kids aren't motivated, they don't want to learn.
" A-anthat's real, but we got another epidemic, especially in the middle-class, upper-class and affluent schools.
It's called teenage depression.
A recent study at the centers for disease contro found that have seriously considered suicide.
What? 17%? It is now the third leading cause of death for teenagers.
Some experts say drowsy driving is as deadly as drunk driving.
are sleep deprived.
This now, when we're learning that losing sleep causes a multitude of medical issues, not just depression, but anxiety, weakening of the immune system, A.
D.
H.
D.
High-stress teens are twice as likely to smoke, drink, use drugs.
What the hell is going on? Our kids are overstressed, overscheduled because it's all about getting the gre, getting into a good college.
Oh, they're arriving at college, by the way--fried.
Princeton is now considering recommending a gap year between high school and college because freshmen are showing up burned out, in no condition to learn.
Why in god's name do we have to teach A.
P.
Courses in high school? These are college courses.
What ever happened to wting for college? And the answer can't be, "we have to offer them 'cause other schools are.
" And for all the work those stressed-out kids are doing, there's no correlation between happiness, success and getting into the right school.
None.
Meanwhile, they're missing out on fun, downtime, beina teenager.
It's taking a physical and emotional toll.
The neuroscience on multitasking shows it hurts the brain.
It dumbs us down.
All this stuff our kids are doing to get ahead is setting them back.
Samantha joseph ended up dead.
This is a much bigger picture than high school.
It's our nation's power culture today.
Do everything it takes to get ahead.
The athletes take steroids, the students pop adderall, our elected officials engage in dirty politics-- it's all about winning.
And parents? they want their kids to win.
There may be no correlation between success and harvard, but they want their kids to wear the crimson just the same.
They look at their friends' kids, their neighbors' kids, and they want their own kids to be better than because we are a nation of winners.
Samantha joseph perhaps died in part because she was doing too much, trying to succeed in a competitive world.
And yet ask any parent what they want most, it's "prepare my teen to succeed in a competitive world.
" People today with A.
I.
D.
S.
Can live a-a long time, but many more die quickly, and it is not a fun death.
Is death supposed to bfun? Love is.
Have you considered, if this worked out, you couldn't have a biological child with him without risking A.
I.
D.
S.
To both yourself and the baby? Might you let us have a single date before counseling me on marriage? Relationships start with a single date.
I'm not your mother, but since your parents are in england and I'm the one that hired you, I would ask you to think very carefully about this.
Common sense can be an ugly beast sometimes, can't it? judas priest.
Too patriotic? What a suck up.
there's my little litigator man.
- Scute.
- Andrea.
I couldn't stop thinking abo yoand your big speech and-- andrea, by some miracle, the judge ruled in our favor, which means, oh, joy, we get to keep handling this megacase.
Speaking of trials of the century.
Clarence, lorraine, please tell me you got a settlement from the pastor.
We're working on it.
"Working on it.
" Here she comes.
I have truly wonderful news.
after kurt's disgusting behavior yesterday, I confronted him.
We got into a big fight, all kinds of emotions poured out.
Sum total-- he still loves me.
we're back together.
I'm dropng the suit.
Thank you all so, so much.
Oh, great! We came out of it with a thank-you.
Golly gee.
okay, here's the deal-- you need serious help.
That was a good thing that just happened out there.
Two people in love got back together--that's a victory.
The fact that you can't see past the bottom line to appreciate that-- you got a problem.
I appreciate it when I fall in love.
- As for maureen's bliss-- - oh, wait.
When was the last time that happened? That would be none of your business.
Yes, it is my business, because I want to go out with you.
I'm barely just getting out of a relationship.
Oh, a faux relationship.
We both know that.
Even shirley does.
Aside from all of the sexually transmitted diseases I'd be exposing myself to-- oh, that's funny.
My sex is safe, partner.
Oh, there I go, calling you "partner" already.
Okay, here's the deal-- when I am not in a relationship, I am prone to a few hollow thrills.
But when I'm in one, I am totally, unflinchingly monogamous.
You need somebody like me.
You know youO.
And you like me.
Why else would you have taken my stupid case? I think you need to leave now.
I'm not leaving.
- I'll call security.
- Go ahead.
Tell 'em to bring backup.
I read a book called "doing school" by denise pope.
I found it spot-on.
Every parent should read it.
Kids "do" school today.
It's not about learninG.
It's piling up achievements that look good on the college A.
P.
And it's gotten way, way out of hand.
And you know what as a society get out of it? A nation of test takers, club presidents and volleyball captains.
But we're losing the innovators, the free thinkers, the dreamers.
we lose our values-- honesty, integrity, aracter.
A bunch of outcome-oriented kids are being led by outcome-oriented teachers who are pushed by goal-driven parents.
And 20% of today's teenagers experience depression, and a large percentage of them, like ms.
Rome says, attempt suicide.
We need to get it together, fast.
I feel the high school is more likely in a better position to remedy this than the parents.
I'm going to allow this case to go forward.
We're adjourned.
Well, thank you.
This is just the start, carolyn.
It figures to be a very long journey.
Yes, yes, and I'm prepared to take it.
Are you with me? I am.
Okay, next up-- alan shore, you'll be rescuing mr.
Crane.
Oh, god help me.
Okay, we ready? Maybe I could rescue him by persuading him not to jump in.
Go! try not to drown me.
Okay, mr.
Shore, go.
Not everybody can get in the water.
Somebody's got to drive the boat.
I don't see why I couldn't just drive the boat.
- Go! - Oh, dear.
get 'em out.
we'll never get in now.
Oh, shut up.
where's my money? I was in the neighborhood and thought-- well, actually, I wasn't in the neighborhood.
I had to fight like hell through traffic to get here.
But now that I am here what? I spent a rather long night of the practical soul.
I don't fare very well against practical.
I don't think it would be a great idea for me to fall in love with you, leo.
And I fear if I were to spend time with you, I'd have no choice.
I realize I'm guilty of a bigotry.
But as bigotries go, one of the more reasonable ones.
You're an incredible man.
I just don't think I can go where this would inevitably lead.
Yeah, it was pretty selfish of me to expect otherwise.
- No, it's just- - katie I get it.
Um, andrea was in my office not long ago.
She got down on one knee and asked for permission to marry you.
she'd be good for you, carl.
hasn't even been a day yet, and you're pimping me out.
I'm jealous actually.
But part of being grown-up, I suppose-- we just broke up, for god sake.
Nobody's that much a grown-up.
I guess not, but I agree with what you said, and I actually do think andrea would be great for you.
And believe it or not, I really do want you to be happy.
She thinks I'm cute.
You are cute, carl.
You are incredibly cute.
I can still taste the chlorine in my lungs.
Oh, you're being a baby.
It's gonna be on our military record forever, you ow? - We can retake the test.
- I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
oh, shut up.
- What's the big deal, anyway? - It's a big deal.
If you don't finish at the top of your class, you don't make the short list for officer material.
You don't make officer-- well, aren't you just one fat microcosm of society? Get ahead.
'S just like whitney's case.
- All these high school kids- - how do you know about whitney's case? I know because I take time out to talk to my neighbors.
Maybe you should try that during one of your sexual solicitations.
go night for a jump.
You first.
o shut up.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I screwed up the swim test.
I don't like to fail.
I won't even try something if I think there's a risk of failure.
- That's absur -no, it isn'T.
We're americans.
We're winners.
That's our culture.
Weeclare victory even if we losE.
That's who we are.
Well, maybe we all need to be a little more humble.
I don't like fighting.
Neither do i.
It's not healthy to go to bed angry at somebody.
Especially when it's your best friend.
Why don't we just get it over with? I feel better.
So do I.
Sleepover? I knew it.
forget it, denny.
One hug, right into the sack.
I said forget it.
It's not that I don't like them, but they need to be special.
If you have them all the time, they lose their specialness.
Ey're always special to me.
next time I'll eat something spicy.
The gas will make me buoyant.
they had to pull us to shore.
- You were gurgling.
- I wasn'T.
I heard it.
It was like two beached whales.
oh, we're pathetic.
I thought you were giving me the heimlich.
Oh, stop it.