Comic Book Men s04e14 Episode Script
Falcon for Sale
Who do you guys think is the sexiest character in the Star Wars Universe? - Well, I mean, I - Remember, you can go anywhere.
- You don't have to be stuck - With humans.
[Laughter.]
Uh, I mean, the obvious choice is Princess Leia.
Again, I don't expect anything more from you than jumping on a bandwagon.
[Laughter.]
Um, who do you think, Mike? I'm gonna go with Malla from the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Don't tell me.
- That was, uh - Chewbacca's wife! [Laughter.]
You definitely dig '70s bush, bro.
[Laughter.]
How about you? Who do you think? I'm gonna go droid on you.
R2-D2.
There was just something about the way that little bot moved, the way it, like, twirled around and it, like, made those weird noises.
When he got all excited and he'd swivel, he'd be like - [Laughter.]
- That's really good! - Rocking back and forth, right? - Don't get him excited! I imagine that's what, like, a droid doing a go-go dance - must look like, right? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah, like R2-D2 pole dancing.
[Laughter.]
Just spinning around that pole.
[Laughter.]
[Heroic music.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, the only show that had an amazing dream last night about winning the Stanley Cup with Stan Lee.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
I have one favorite retail store on the entire pla well, two, after the fooderies.
This store.
What happened in it this week? "Wabbit" season officially opened at the stash.
Oh! - Hi.
- Hey, how you doing? Good.
Are you guys fans of looney tunes? - We are.
- Well, I have something - that might be of interest.
- Oh.
This is baseball bugs.
It's a limited edition, I have number one out of 1,200, signed, and artwork by Friz Freleng.
- What's up, doc? - [Laughs.]
Is this the one that's like, "strike one, - strike two, strike three"? - Yes.
- "Hey, batter, batter, batter!" - Yes, that's the one.
That's probably one of my favorite bugs bunny bits.
This is my favorite.
Now, this doesn't appear to be a cel used in the cartoon.
It's not a production cel.
Friz did this artwork specifically for the 1,200 edition.
Where'd you get it from? I got it from the circle gallery in New York City.
I was just new out of college, and I thought, "this would be a great investment.
" I think I had that.
I was a big Warner Brothers collector.
I think I kept them in business for a long, long time.
I didn't buy them as investments.
I wasn't like, "these are gonna be worth millions one day.
" I bought 'em 'cause I was like, "these belong in a museum.
" Like, I was young Indiana Jones.
[Laughter.]
Oh, I like that.
Does whipping out your credit card count as archeology? [Laughter.]
Is bugs bunny your favorite Warner Brothers character? Absolutely.
Who's your favorite Warner Brothers creation? Probably Tweety Bird, like [high-pitched grunting.]
Have you ever heard his Tweety Bird? It's awesome.
- No, it's, uh - I want to hear that.
[High-pitched voice.]
: "I tot I taw a puddy tat!" [Laughter.]
"I did! I did!" [Normal voice.]
Yeah, you know, I mean, it always cracked me up as a kid it still does.
Uh, you're coming in today to sell it? I'm here to sell it.
And what are you trying to get for it today? I'm asking $2,000.
Um, $2,000, huh? Any chance you'd take $1,050? I think that's a little low.
Mm, $1,250? That's still too low.
Sufferin' succotash.
[Laughter.]
Uh Like, it's awesome, but I can't pull the trigger on anywhere near what you're looking for.
I think I'm gonna have to pass on it.
I appreciate you bringing it in, man.
- It's an awesome piece.
- Oh, you're welcome.
- Thanks for looking at it.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, good luck with that.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- See you later, then.
- Thank you.
Bye-bye.
- T-t-t-t-t-that's all, folks.
[Laughter.]
How was that? Was that worse than his Tweety? - No.
- No.
It was ten times better.
Felt like I was in the presence of Mel Blanc there.
[Laughing.]
You're Billy Dee Williams.
Yeah.
Yep, that's me.
I'm really looking for this thing they call the Millennium Falcon.
Oh! - How you doing? - Hey, doing good.
I came by to see if maybe you would be interested in my 1986 Amtoy my pet monster.
What is this? You don't remember the my pet monster? It wasn't on my radar back then, man.
- This was big in the '80s? - It was.
I had one of these when I was six years old, and it was my wrestling partner.
I would have him in the living room, and I'd break the Handcuffs off and drop elbows on him.
[Laughter.]
I'm telling you right now, what's really weirding me out is the nose.
I cannot believe that is the nose on the pet monster that they marketed for kids.
He looks like a diseased sailor.
[Laughter.]
You can't tell me that the designers of this pet monster weren't in on a joke, - because this monster's nose - [Laughs.]
- It was crazy.
- It was pretty phallic.
[Laughter.]
Yeah, it's definitely the memorable feature when you look at it.
I mean, they had to know, as they got it past corporate [Imitates snickering.]
You know, that they approved it.
Fun for kids, funner for moms.
[Laughter.]
You trying to sell it today? Yeah, I'm trying to sell it today.
I've got a seven-year-old, and she's really stoked about going on a Disney trip.
And I figured if I could sell one of my toys to provide something for her, it would be worth doing.
All right, well, what are you looking to get for it? I'd like to get $300 for it.
- Disney, you say? - I told you - Disney's not cheap.
- What do these run? You know, this box is pretty beat up.
There's a little wear on here, definitely showing a little bit of age.
Mint, in box, it'd be, like, $275.
All right, would you take $100 for it? This bad boy's in a box.
You can't find any of these guys in a box.
It's got the Handcuffs.
I would work with you a little bit and go to $250.
How about $125? No.
I don't think I can do $125.
I'll work with you a little bit more and go down to 200 bucks.
How about $175? Hmm I'm gonna have to let that pass, my friend.
Well, I think that's as high as I can go on it, you know.
That's all right.
I really appreciate you guys taking the time to take a look at it.
- I'm sorry, though.
- That's all right.
- Take care.
- Take care.
Hi.
How are you? This place is incredible.
Oh, my you're Billy Dee Williams.
Yeah.
Yep, that's me.
It's an honor to have you at the stash.
- Well, nice to see it.
- Huge fan.
- Okay.
- How you doing? - It's an honor, sir.
- Good, good.
- Nice to see you.
- How you doing? I'm really looking for this thing they call the Millennium Falcon.
Oh! You used to pilot the Millennium Falcon, right? Yeah, right.
Yes, but the one I'm looking for is this really big one.
- The massive one? - Yeah, the massive one.
Yeah.
- We have the massive one.
- You do? Yeah.
You guys want to go grab the gigantic Millennium Falcon? - Yeah, absolutely.
- Oh, fantastic.
These guys are my version of the Lobot and the Ugnaught.
Well [laughter.]
Billy Dee Williams came in? Get out of here! Lando Calrissian came into the stash? That's tremendous! The thing about Billy Dee is, like, as Lando, as the colt 45 pitchman, like, he's always very suave, very smooth, right? He was the ultimate smooth.
My mom was a big fan of Diana Ross, and he was in lady sings the blues.
So when he showed up in Empire strikes back, I was like, "that's Lando Calrissian.
" My mom was like, "oh, that's the man from lady sings the blues.
" [Laughter.]
He was very smooth.
She liked him.
- There it is.
- Oh, be careful with it.
- Huh? - Wow.
- What do you think? - This is fantastic.
I'm getting this for my little grandson.
- Awesome, man.
- Yeah, he's gonna love this.
I don't know if his mother's gonna love it.
[Laughter.]
So what was it like when you were piloting the Millennium Falcon? - Well, it was a lot of fun.
- You are a badass, man the baddest ass in the whole galaxy.
Well, the cape, to me, was the key to that character.
And, you know, a lot of people say Han Solo's the coolest character in the Star Wars universe.
No, I think bar none, you were the - who said Han Solo is the - There are some people.
I'm not gonna mention names, but, I-I they have no idea what they're talking about.
- Exactly.
- Okay.
So what are you looking for? Well, we're looking to get $1,500 for it.
Oh! [Laughter.]
Oh, my I'm gonna have a heart attack.
You got to be joking.
I mean, there's only 500 of these left - in the whole world.
- I can't do that.
- You can't do $1,500? - No, I can do, like what about $500? $500! Oh! Come on, it needs work.
How did the story go in Empire? How did you lose the Millennium Falcon to Han Solo? It was a card game.
We had a card game.
Why don't we have a card game? - A card game? - Yeah.
- What do you mean, like, play - Play for this.
So, like, if you win, you name your price.
- If I win, I get my price.
- You said it.
Are you guys serious? I mean, we do have a poker table back there.
- Okay, well, let's do it.
- [Laughs.]
Well, what's your game? It's a little poker, a little five-card stud.
I'm gonna be honest with you, Mr.
Williams.
I'm not much of a man's man, so, um I don't know any of those games.
Uh Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but [Laughter.]
I kind of I mean, I'm really good at go fish, because I got two daughters, and, you know, I take 'em for everything they got.
Well, let's do it.
You'll play for the Millennium Falcon - over go fish? - Absolutely.
- All right, man, I'm all-in.
- Okay.
- Let's do it.
- All right.
I brought you something from from another dimension.
Really? that's amazing.
There's basically two Landos.
He wasn't in Star Wars.
He's in Empire, and he's in Jedi.
In Empire, he's the guy that sells them out, but in return of the Jedi, he helps destroy the second death star.
Which Lando do you prefer? Easily in Empire strikes back.
I love when he takes a run at darth vader, even though he knows there's no chance in hell he can beat darth vader, he's like, "I'm going for it.
" - Yes.
- That's a badass Because in Return Of the Jedi, he's nothing bad about him.
Like, suddenly, he's with the Rebels, and you're like, "where's your cape?" It looks like somebody likes him.
He's shaking his head.
[Laughter.]
You like Return Of the Jedi Lando? Absolutely.
I mean, listen, I'm a loyal guy.
'Cause he looks like an Ewok.
[Laughter.]
Treacherous Lando, man, is even though he betrays our heroes, you still liked him quite a bit 'cause he tried to do right.
He was just basically trying to cover his ass in cloud city.
Then he wanted to take care of Han and Leia, only a little bit too late for Han.
What do you think happened to Bespin after after Empire strikes back, though? [Laughter.]
Probably gone, gone, gone.
I mean, would you trust that guy anymore if he was your mayor? Like, at one point, he gets out, and he's like, "this is Lando Calrissian.
Clear the city!" [Laughter.]
Hey, how you doing? - Hey, guys.
How's it going? - Good.
I brought you something from another dimension.
- Really? - Yeah! Twilight Zone trading cards.
But not just the trading cards I've got the autographed cards, including William Shatner, George Takei.
I have Buddy Epson, Jack Klugman.
So all the, uh these are all the autographed cards.
All the actors that played in it? - Yeah.
- That's amazing.
You know, these cards they were only sold two to a box.
So you had to really search for them in order to fill this collection.
- How'd you get 'em? - They were so hard to find.
I had to keep buying boxes of cards at a time.
So I was insane.
But it was so exciting, because every time I found one, it brought back memories of the episode.
I love the Twilight Zone.
It's the short story of television.
I mean, everyone now thinks of a twist ending as M.
Night Shyamalan.
Well, the Twilight Zone did a twist ending every week.
Hundreds of episodes of brilliant writing hosted by the amazing creator himself, Rod Serling.
Can't you just imagine that, when you die, you're gonna be greeted by Rod Serling, and he's gonna tell you which way you're going? - I'll take it.
- Right? Yeah, I'll take that over this heaven and hell stuff.
Just let me meet Rod Serling and have him be like, "submitted for your approval.
You live forever.
" And he's smoking a cigarette.
Ah! So metal.
[Laughter.]
And you're coming in today 'cause you're I can't imagine you're willing to part with this, right? I mean, this is a lifelong endeavor here.
This is hard for me, but I'm at a point where I need a bunch of cash.
I got to be up front.
The stash has a "no trading card" policy.
- Does it really? - I find that trading cards - is a pyramid scheme.
- [Laughs.]
Like, at least if you're into comics, you buy your comic, you know what you're getting.
You buy a pack of cards, it's a total lottery ticket that usually, just like the regular lottery, you're a loser.
I can admit it.
I'm anti-card.
That's an excellent point, man.
It's just like, you don't go into a comic book store and you open up a big package, and they're like, "here's ten comics.
One's all right.
the rest are crap.
" [Laughs.]
That's why I've always been against trading cards, but, boy, I was really, really tempted because these are signed by some of Hollywood's all-time greats, and I'm thinking, like, "this is gonna be, you know, a pretty penny to secure this set.
" How much do you think you've sunk into this collection? - Oh, several thousand.
- So wait.
So what are you looking to get for this set today? Well, I valued out this whole set of cards, and it came out to $7,500.
So I'm looking for somewhere between 5 and 6.
I mean, it's definitely cool.
It's definitely, like, the coolest trading-card set I've ever seen.
But, again, I mean, due to the stash's "no card" policy, I'm afraid we're gonna have to pass.
But I can't thank you enough for bringing them in, man.
Some great memories stirred up.
- Best of luck.
- Thank you.
thank you.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
All right, Mr.
Williams, the name of the game is go fish.
First one to have no cards is the winner.
Okay, you don't mind rolling your sleeves up? - [Laughter.]
- Rolling my sleeves up? - Yeah.
- Sure.
I mean, I'm not trying to accuse you.
I've seen him play go fish.
You should have him take his shirt off.
[Laughter.]
As surreal as it sounds, me and Billy Dee Williams start playing go fish over the stakes of the Millennium Falcon.
Rewriting cinema history just in time for the new Star Wars movie to be like, "you know how the Millennium Falcon was really won? At a comic book store in New Jersey.
" [Laughs.]
All right [Breathes deeply.]
Okay.
You got a 7? - I do.
- Oh! Okay, you got an ace? Oh! You got an 8? - An 8? - Yeah.
Mr.
Williams, go fish.
You no-good swindler, Walt.
[Laughter.]
[Exhales deeply.]
Sweating it there.
I thought he was gonna go for a clean sweep.
Wait.
Wait.
Hello! What do we have here? Oh! Mr.
Williams, do you have a 6? Walt Go fish, baby.
You're not that good at go fish.
And how does one become good at go fish? - It's all by chance, bro.
- You said you were! [Laughter.]
- What do you need? - You got a 9? Oh, my God.
Sure would be a shame if you lost the falcon a second time, wouldn't it? Do you have a king? Walter Go fish.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
It works every time.
It wasn't a friendly game.
It was it was possibly the most intense game of go fish I've ever seen.
Were there hostilities during this game? I-I you know, not outright, but the looks the machismo is gonna flow.
You can't help it.
You're in a card game with big stakes, - high stakes.
- Truly.
Two men at the table, gambling for a spaceship [Laughter.]
A child's toy.
Absolutely, stakes are high.
You could cut the testosterone with a knife.
[Laughter.]
Mr.
Williams, do you have a 6? Walt, go fish.
- How about a king? - Go fish.
- A 10? - Go fish, Walt.
[Laughter.]
You got a 6? Better get your fishing pole out you're going fishing.
You had me on the ropes there.
I thought he was taking I thought I was gonna be sitting here - oh, wait, wait, wait, wait! - Oh! Oh, my God, all right.
It's one card away from being in Carbonite.
[Laughter.]
What do you need? You got a 9? Oh, my God.
I just lost the Millennium Falcon to Lando Calrissian.
Don't let the smooth taste fool you.
So now he's Han, and you're Lando Except you're not cool.
- [Laughter.]
- Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
[Laughter.]
You don't have to gloat! [Laughter.]
- He beat you.
- He beat me fair and square.
I'm starting to think it wasn't fair and square, because it's the most pairs that win.
You probably won and don't even know it.
[Laughter.]
Do you understand the rules of go fish? You should've looked at your other cards.
I had no pairs, man.
I know it's seemingly impossible to have that many cards and not have any pairs, but He was missing a pair, I'll tell you.
[Laughter.]
I'm very thrilled to finally see the Millennium Falcon go back to its rightful owner.
Well, thank you very much.
It's been great doing business with you guys.
- Mr.
Williams.
- A pleasure.
- Okay, you guys take care.
- Nice to meet you.
- Okay, thanks a lot.
- Thank you very much.
Before you go Your word not a scratch, right? [Chuckles.]
You get out of here, you old pirate.
[Laughter.]
- Oh! - Awesome! - [Laughs.]
- Later.
[High-pitched voice.]
: Good-bye.
Good-bye, Lando.
It was a bit bittersweet, you know, to lose the Millennium Falcon, you know, for a song, basically, you know? Billy Dee Williams got a good deal on that Millennium Falcon from the stash that day, but the memories the stash got are priceless.
I don't know, man.
You sat down with a screen legend a guy who not only sold out Han Solo to the Empire, then made up for it by destroying the second death star in Return Of the Jedi.
This is as big as it gets for the secret stash, man.
That's I don't know if we've ever had Star Wars royalty - in the store before.
- Never.
I only wish my mom had been here to be like, "there he is.
there's that Billy Dee Williams.
"
- You don't have to be stuck - With humans.
[Laughter.]
Uh, I mean, the obvious choice is Princess Leia.
Again, I don't expect anything more from you than jumping on a bandwagon.
[Laughter.]
Um, who do you think, Mike? I'm gonna go with Malla from the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Don't tell me.
- That was, uh - Chewbacca's wife! [Laughter.]
You definitely dig '70s bush, bro.
[Laughter.]
How about you? Who do you think? I'm gonna go droid on you.
R2-D2.
There was just something about the way that little bot moved, the way it, like, twirled around and it, like, made those weird noises.
When he got all excited and he'd swivel, he'd be like - [Laughter.]
- That's really good! - Rocking back and forth, right? - Don't get him excited! I imagine that's what, like, a droid doing a go-go dance - must look like, right? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah, like R2-D2 pole dancing.
[Laughter.]
Just spinning around that pole.
[Laughter.]
[Heroic music.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, the only show that had an amazing dream last night about winning the Stanley Cup with Stan Lee.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
I have one favorite retail store on the entire pla well, two, after the fooderies.
This store.
What happened in it this week? "Wabbit" season officially opened at the stash.
Oh! - Hi.
- Hey, how you doing? Good.
Are you guys fans of looney tunes? - We are.
- Well, I have something - that might be of interest.
- Oh.
This is baseball bugs.
It's a limited edition, I have number one out of 1,200, signed, and artwork by Friz Freleng.
- What's up, doc? - [Laughs.]
Is this the one that's like, "strike one, - strike two, strike three"? - Yes.
- "Hey, batter, batter, batter!" - Yes, that's the one.
That's probably one of my favorite bugs bunny bits.
This is my favorite.
Now, this doesn't appear to be a cel used in the cartoon.
It's not a production cel.
Friz did this artwork specifically for the 1,200 edition.
Where'd you get it from? I got it from the circle gallery in New York City.
I was just new out of college, and I thought, "this would be a great investment.
" I think I had that.
I was a big Warner Brothers collector.
I think I kept them in business for a long, long time.
I didn't buy them as investments.
I wasn't like, "these are gonna be worth millions one day.
" I bought 'em 'cause I was like, "these belong in a museum.
" Like, I was young Indiana Jones.
[Laughter.]
Oh, I like that.
Does whipping out your credit card count as archeology? [Laughter.]
Is bugs bunny your favorite Warner Brothers character? Absolutely.
Who's your favorite Warner Brothers creation? Probably Tweety Bird, like [high-pitched grunting.]
Have you ever heard his Tweety Bird? It's awesome.
- No, it's, uh - I want to hear that.
[High-pitched voice.]
: "I tot I taw a puddy tat!" [Laughter.]
"I did! I did!" [Normal voice.]
Yeah, you know, I mean, it always cracked me up as a kid it still does.
Uh, you're coming in today to sell it? I'm here to sell it.
And what are you trying to get for it today? I'm asking $2,000.
Um, $2,000, huh? Any chance you'd take $1,050? I think that's a little low.
Mm, $1,250? That's still too low.
Sufferin' succotash.
[Laughter.]
Uh Like, it's awesome, but I can't pull the trigger on anywhere near what you're looking for.
I think I'm gonna have to pass on it.
I appreciate you bringing it in, man.
- It's an awesome piece.
- Oh, you're welcome.
- Thanks for looking at it.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, good luck with that.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- See you later, then.
- Thank you.
Bye-bye.
- T-t-t-t-t-that's all, folks.
[Laughter.]
How was that? Was that worse than his Tweety? - No.
- No.
It was ten times better.
Felt like I was in the presence of Mel Blanc there.
[Laughing.]
You're Billy Dee Williams.
Yeah.
Yep, that's me.
I'm really looking for this thing they call the Millennium Falcon.
Oh! - How you doing? - Hey, doing good.
I came by to see if maybe you would be interested in my 1986 Amtoy my pet monster.
What is this? You don't remember the my pet monster? It wasn't on my radar back then, man.
- This was big in the '80s? - It was.
I had one of these when I was six years old, and it was my wrestling partner.
I would have him in the living room, and I'd break the Handcuffs off and drop elbows on him.
[Laughter.]
I'm telling you right now, what's really weirding me out is the nose.
I cannot believe that is the nose on the pet monster that they marketed for kids.
He looks like a diseased sailor.
[Laughter.]
You can't tell me that the designers of this pet monster weren't in on a joke, - because this monster's nose - [Laughs.]
- It was crazy.
- It was pretty phallic.
[Laughter.]
Yeah, it's definitely the memorable feature when you look at it.
I mean, they had to know, as they got it past corporate [Imitates snickering.]
You know, that they approved it.
Fun for kids, funner for moms.
[Laughter.]
You trying to sell it today? Yeah, I'm trying to sell it today.
I've got a seven-year-old, and she's really stoked about going on a Disney trip.
And I figured if I could sell one of my toys to provide something for her, it would be worth doing.
All right, well, what are you looking to get for it? I'd like to get $300 for it.
- Disney, you say? - I told you - Disney's not cheap.
- What do these run? You know, this box is pretty beat up.
There's a little wear on here, definitely showing a little bit of age.
Mint, in box, it'd be, like, $275.
All right, would you take $100 for it? This bad boy's in a box.
You can't find any of these guys in a box.
It's got the Handcuffs.
I would work with you a little bit and go to $250.
How about $125? No.
I don't think I can do $125.
I'll work with you a little bit more and go down to 200 bucks.
How about $175? Hmm I'm gonna have to let that pass, my friend.
Well, I think that's as high as I can go on it, you know.
That's all right.
I really appreciate you guys taking the time to take a look at it.
- I'm sorry, though.
- That's all right.
- Take care.
- Take care.
Hi.
How are you? This place is incredible.
Oh, my you're Billy Dee Williams.
Yeah.
Yep, that's me.
It's an honor to have you at the stash.
- Well, nice to see it.
- Huge fan.
- Okay.
- How you doing? - It's an honor, sir.
- Good, good.
- Nice to see you.
- How you doing? I'm really looking for this thing they call the Millennium Falcon.
Oh! You used to pilot the Millennium Falcon, right? Yeah, right.
Yes, but the one I'm looking for is this really big one.
- The massive one? - Yeah, the massive one.
Yeah.
- We have the massive one.
- You do? Yeah.
You guys want to go grab the gigantic Millennium Falcon? - Yeah, absolutely.
- Oh, fantastic.
These guys are my version of the Lobot and the Ugnaught.
Well [laughter.]
Billy Dee Williams came in? Get out of here! Lando Calrissian came into the stash? That's tremendous! The thing about Billy Dee is, like, as Lando, as the colt 45 pitchman, like, he's always very suave, very smooth, right? He was the ultimate smooth.
My mom was a big fan of Diana Ross, and he was in lady sings the blues.
So when he showed up in Empire strikes back, I was like, "that's Lando Calrissian.
" My mom was like, "oh, that's the man from lady sings the blues.
" [Laughter.]
He was very smooth.
She liked him.
- There it is.
- Oh, be careful with it.
- Huh? - Wow.
- What do you think? - This is fantastic.
I'm getting this for my little grandson.
- Awesome, man.
- Yeah, he's gonna love this.
I don't know if his mother's gonna love it.
[Laughter.]
So what was it like when you were piloting the Millennium Falcon? - Well, it was a lot of fun.
- You are a badass, man the baddest ass in the whole galaxy.
Well, the cape, to me, was the key to that character.
And, you know, a lot of people say Han Solo's the coolest character in the Star Wars universe.
No, I think bar none, you were the - who said Han Solo is the - There are some people.
I'm not gonna mention names, but, I-I they have no idea what they're talking about.
- Exactly.
- Okay.
So what are you looking for? Well, we're looking to get $1,500 for it.
Oh! [Laughter.]
Oh, my I'm gonna have a heart attack.
You got to be joking.
I mean, there's only 500 of these left - in the whole world.
- I can't do that.
- You can't do $1,500? - No, I can do, like what about $500? $500! Oh! Come on, it needs work.
How did the story go in Empire? How did you lose the Millennium Falcon to Han Solo? It was a card game.
We had a card game.
Why don't we have a card game? - A card game? - Yeah.
- What do you mean, like, play - Play for this.
So, like, if you win, you name your price.
- If I win, I get my price.
- You said it.
Are you guys serious? I mean, we do have a poker table back there.
- Okay, well, let's do it.
- [Laughs.]
Well, what's your game? It's a little poker, a little five-card stud.
I'm gonna be honest with you, Mr.
Williams.
I'm not much of a man's man, so, um I don't know any of those games.
Uh Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but [Laughter.]
I kind of I mean, I'm really good at go fish, because I got two daughters, and, you know, I take 'em for everything they got.
Well, let's do it.
You'll play for the Millennium Falcon - over go fish? - Absolutely.
- All right, man, I'm all-in.
- Okay.
- Let's do it.
- All right.
I brought you something from from another dimension.
Really? that's amazing.
There's basically two Landos.
He wasn't in Star Wars.
He's in Empire, and he's in Jedi.
In Empire, he's the guy that sells them out, but in return of the Jedi, he helps destroy the second death star.
Which Lando do you prefer? Easily in Empire strikes back.
I love when he takes a run at darth vader, even though he knows there's no chance in hell he can beat darth vader, he's like, "I'm going for it.
" - Yes.
- That's a badass Because in Return Of the Jedi, he's nothing bad about him.
Like, suddenly, he's with the Rebels, and you're like, "where's your cape?" It looks like somebody likes him.
He's shaking his head.
[Laughter.]
You like Return Of the Jedi Lando? Absolutely.
I mean, listen, I'm a loyal guy.
'Cause he looks like an Ewok.
[Laughter.]
Treacherous Lando, man, is even though he betrays our heroes, you still liked him quite a bit 'cause he tried to do right.
He was just basically trying to cover his ass in cloud city.
Then he wanted to take care of Han and Leia, only a little bit too late for Han.
What do you think happened to Bespin after after Empire strikes back, though? [Laughter.]
Probably gone, gone, gone.
I mean, would you trust that guy anymore if he was your mayor? Like, at one point, he gets out, and he's like, "this is Lando Calrissian.
Clear the city!" [Laughter.]
Hey, how you doing? - Hey, guys.
How's it going? - Good.
I brought you something from another dimension.
- Really? - Yeah! Twilight Zone trading cards.
But not just the trading cards I've got the autographed cards, including William Shatner, George Takei.
I have Buddy Epson, Jack Klugman.
So all the, uh these are all the autographed cards.
All the actors that played in it? - Yeah.
- That's amazing.
You know, these cards they were only sold two to a box.
So you had to really search for them in order to fill this collection.
- How'd you get 'em? - They were so hard to find.
I had to keep buying boxes of cards at a time.
So I was insane.
But it was so exciting, because every time I found one, it brought back memories of the episode.
I love the Twilight Zone.
It's the short story of television.
I mean, everyone now thinks of a twist ending as M.
Night Shyamalan.
Well, the Twilight Zone did a twist ending every week.
Hundreds of episodes of brilliant writing hosted by the amazing creator himself, Rod Serling.
Can't you just imagine that, when you die, you're gonna be greeted by Rod Serling, and he's gonna tell you which way you're going? - I'll take it.
- Right? Yeah, I'll take that over this heaven and hell stuff.
Just let me meet Rod Serling and have him be like, "submitted for your approval.
You live forever.
" And he's smoking a cigarette.
Ah! So metal.
[Laughter.]
And you're coming in today 'cause you're I can't imagine you're willing to part with this, right? I mean, this is a lifelong endeavor here.
This is hard for me, but I'm at a point where I need a bunch of cash.
I got to be up front.
The stash has a "no trading card" policy.
- Does it really? - I find that trading cards - is a pyramid scheme.
- [Laughs.]
Like, at least if you're into comics, you buy your comic, you know what you're getting.
You buy a pack of cards, it's a total lottery ticket that usually, just like the regular lottery, you're a loser.
I can admit it.
I'm anti-card.
That's an excellent point, man.
It's just like, you don't go into a comic book store and you open up a big package, and they're like, "here's ten comics.
One's all right.
the rest are crap.
" [Laughs.]
That's why I've always been against trading cards, but, boy, I was really, really tempted because these are signed by some of Hollywood's all-time greats, and I'm thinking, like, "this is gonna be, you know, a pretty penny to secure this set.
" How much do you think you've sunk into this collection? - Oh, several thousand.
- So wait.
So what are you looking to get for this set today? Well, I valued out this whole set of cards, and it came out to $7,500.
So I'm looking for somewhere between 5 and 6.
I mean, it's definitely cool.
It's definitely, like, the coolest trading-card set I've ever seen.
But, again, I mean, due to the stash's "no card" policy, I'm afraid we're gonna have to pass.
But I can't thank you enough for bringing them in, man.
Some great memories stirred up.
- Best of luck.
- Thank you.
thank you.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
All right, Mr.
Williams, the name of the game is go fish.
First one to have no cards is the winner.
Okay, you don't mind rolling your sleeves up? - [Laughter.]
- Rolling my sleeves up? - Yeah.
- Sure.
I mean, I'm not trying to accuse you.
I've seen him play go fish.
You should have him take his shirt off.
[Laughter.]
As surreal as it sounds, me and Billy Dee Williams start playing go fish over the stakes of the Millennium Falcon.
Rewriting cinema history just in time for the new Star Wars movie to be like, "you know how the Millennium Falcon was really won? At a comic book store in New Jersey.
" [Laughs.]
All right [Breathes deeply.]
Okay.
You got a 7? - I do.
- Oh! Okay, you got an ace? Oh! You got an 8? - An 8? - Yeah.
Mr.
Williams, go fish.
You no-good swindler, Walt.
[Laughter.]
[Exhales deeply.]
Sweating it there.
I thought he was gonna go for a clean sweep.
Wait.
Wait.
Hello! What do we have here? Oh! Mr.
Williams, do you have a 6? Walt Go fish, baby.
You're not that good at go fish.
And how does one become good at go fish? - It's all by chance, bro.
- You said you were! [Laughter.]
- What do you need? - You got a 9? Oh, my God.
Sure would be a shame if you lost the falcon a second time, wouldn't it? Do you have a king? Walter Go fish.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
It works every time.
It wasn't a friendly game.
It was it was possibly the most intense game of go fish I've ever seen.
Were there hostilities during this game? I-I you know, not outright, but the looks the machismo is gonna flow.
You can't help it.
You're in a card game with big stakes, - high stakes.
- Truly.
Two men at the table, gambling for a spaceship [Laughter.]
A child's toy.
Absolutely, stakes are high.
You could cut the testosterone with a knife.
[Laughter.]
Mr.
Williams, do you have a 6? Walt, go fish.
- How about a king? - Go fish.
- A 10? - Go fish, Walt.
[Laughter.]
You got a 6? Better get your fishing pole out you're going fishing.
You had me on the ropes there.
I thought he was taking I thought I was gonna be sitting here - oh, wait, wait, wait, wait! - Oh! Oh, my God, all right.
It's one card away from being in Carbonite.
[Laughter.]
What do you need? You got a 9? Oh, my God.
I just lost the Millennium Falcon to Lando Calrissian.
Don't let the smooth taste fool you.
So now he's Han, and you're Lando Except you're not cool.
- [Laughter.]
- Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
[Laughter.]
You don't have to gloat! [Laughter.]
- He beat you.
- He beat me fair and square.
I'm starting to think it wasn't fair and square, because it's the most pairs that win.
You probably won and don't even know it.
[Laughter.]
Do you understand the rules of go fish? You should've looked at your other cards.
I had no pairs, man.
I know it's seemingly impossible to have that many cards and not have any pairs, but He was missing a pair, I'll tell you.
[Laughter.]
I'm very thrilled to finally see the Millennium Falcon go back to its rightful owner.
Well, thank you very much.
It's been great doing business with you guys.
- Mr.
Williams.
- A pleasure.
- Okay, you guys take care.
- Nice to meet you.
- Okay, thanks a lot.
- Thank you very much.
Before you go Your word not a scratch, right? [Chuckles.]
You get out of here, you old pirate.
[Laughter.]
- Oh! - Awesome! - [Laughs.]
- Later.
[High-pitched voice.]
: Good-bye.
Good-bye, Lando.
It was a bit bittersweet, you know, to lose the Millennium Falcon, you know, for a song, basically, you know? Billy Dee Williams got a good deal on that Millennium Falcon from the stash that day, but the memories the stash got are priceless.
I don't know, man.
You sat down with a screen legend a guy who not only sold out Han Solo to the Empire, then made up for it by destroying the second death star in Return Of the Jedi.
This is as big as it gets for the secret stash, man.
That's I don't know if we've ever had Star Wars royalty - in the store before.
- Never.
I only wish my mom had been here to be like, "there he is.
there's that Billy Dee Williams.
"