Full House s04e14 Episode Script
Working Girl
ARRR! MY TURN.
AW, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR UNCLE JESSE, RIGHT? OKAY, HERE WE GO.
SIT OVER HERE, GRAB THE STICKS.
HERETHERE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT YOU DO IS START OFF ON THE BASS DRUM.
DO 1 AND 3 ON THE BASS DRUM, DO A BIG FLOURISH, AND END WITH A CYMBAL.
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? YEAH, FORGET ALL THAT.
JUST BANG THE HECK OUT OF 'EM.
ROCK 'N' ROLL! WE LOVE YOU, SAN FRANCISCO! * AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH * * AHH * * WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PREDICTABILITY * * THE MILKMAN, THE PAPERBOY * * EVENIN' TV * * HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE * * SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE * * THIS OLD WORLD'S * * CONFUSIN' ME * * CLOUDS AS MEAN AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN * * AIN'T A BIRD WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE * * THEN A LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOU WHISPERS * * KID, DON'T SELL YOUR DREAMS SO SOON * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * THERE'S A HEART * * A HAND TO HOLD ONTO * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * THERE'S A FACE OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE * * AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE * * A LIGHT IS WAITIN' * * TO CARRY YOU HOME * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * DO BE DO BA BA DA ** CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
HEY, STEPH.
WE JUST GOT BACK FROM PRESCHOOL, AND YOUR SISTER MICHELLE HAS SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.
WANT TO SEE WHAT I GOT? SURE, WHY NOT? YOU HAVE TO SAY PLEASE.
I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED.
STEPH, JUST PLAY ALONG.
IT'S POLITENESS WEEK IN PRESCHOOL.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OFFICER MICHELLE OF THE POLITE POLICE.
I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, MISTER.
STEPHANIE HAVE A VERY NICE DAY.
HI.
HEY.
DAD, BOY, I MISSED YOU.
HOW'S THE GREATEST DAD IN THE HISTORY OF DADS FEELING TODAY? VERY SUSPICIOUS.
COMPLIMENT HIM ON HIS SHOE, SOCK, PANT COMBINATION.
DADS LOVE THAT.
DAD, SIT DOWN.
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
CAREFUL, DAD.
SHE NEEDS MONEY AND LOTS OF IT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? DEEJ, WE GO BACK EIGHT YEARS.
WE ALL KNOW WHEN IT'S KISS-UP TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW MUCH? WELL, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THIS MONEY'S NOT FOR ANYTHING FUN.
IT'S FOR CLOTHES-- A BASIC NECESSITY OF LIFE.
HOW MUCH? WELL, BEFORE I TELL YOU THE ACTUAL DOLLAR AMOUNT, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THESE ARE THE WORLD'S COOLEST TENNIS SHOES.
HOW MUCH? ONLY $80 PER SHOE.
WHY ARE WE LAUGHING? 'CAUSE FOR A SECOND THERE I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY ASKED ME FOR $160 FOR SNEAKERS.
I DID.
BUT THESE AREN'T JUST SNEAKERS.
THESE ARE BLOW-OUTS.
BLOW-OUTS ARE SO RAD.
THEY ACTUALLY INHALE AND EXHALE AS YOU WALK.
AND IF I DON'T GET THESE, I'M GONNA BE A TOTAL GEEK.
YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS, MR.
T.
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
DEEJ, YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CROWD.
WHEN I WAS A BOY AND EVERYBODY WAS WASTING THEIR ALLOWANCE ON THOSE EVEL KNIEVEL JUMPSUITS, I WENT OUT AND I BOUGHT SOME SENSIBLE SANSABELT PANTS WITH AN ADJUSTABLE WAISTBAND, A STYLE STILL WORN TODAY BY SOME OF AMERICA'S FINEST BOWLERS.
TIME FOR PLAN "B.
" DAD, WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF I NEVER HAD TO WEASEL MONEY OUT OF YOU AGAIN? I LIKE PLAN "B" SO FAR.
I CAN EARN MY OWN MONEY BY GETTING A JOB.
THERE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER DOWN AT THE MALL, AND HE SAID THAT I COULD BE HIS PART-TIME ASSISTANT.
DEEJ, WHAT ABOUT YOUR SCHOOLWORK? YOUR GRADE IN SCIENCE HAS BEEN SLIPPING LATELY.
I GIVE YOU MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE THAT D.
J.
WILL RAISE HER GRADE IN SCIENCE.
OH, THE GIBBLER GUARANTEE.
OH, WELL, THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
HEY, DAD, COME ON.
I'M 14 YEARS OLD.
I'M READY FOR ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GRADES UP, YOU CAN TAKE THE JOB.
OH, THANKS, DAD.
YEAH, THANKS, MR.
T.
WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY? D.
J.
's GETTING BLOW-OUTS, AND WE HAVE THE SAME SIZE FEET.
HI, SWEETHEART.
BEAUTIFUL.
LISTEN, MY FOLKS CALLED TODAY, AND THEY HAVE THIS WACKY IDEA THAT SINCE WE'RE ENGAGED, WE SHOULD ACTUALLY SET A DATE AND PLACE FOR THE WEDDING.
WELL, JUST SAY THE MAGIC WORD-- GRACELAND.
HONEY, I KNOW IT'S YOUR DREAM TO GET MARRIED IN THAT CRUSHED-VELVET AMUSEMENT PARK, BUT CONSIDER ALL THE BENEFITS OF A WEDDING BACK IN MY HOMETOWN, VALENTINE, NEBRASKA.
NAME ONE.
IT'S NOT GRACELAND.
OH, COME ON.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN GRACELAND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE 27-YEARS-OLD JESS, JESS! WHAT? QUICK, CAN I BORROW YOUR CREDIT CARD? I'M WAY OVER MY LIMIT, AND THE SHOPPING NETWORK IS OFFERING A SPECIAL ON THE BARNEY RUBBLE BATH COLLECTION.
NO WAY.
YOU STILL HAVEN'T PAID ME FOR THAT CALIFORNIA RAISIN CHESS SET.
JOEY, I'LL BUY YOU THE RUBBLE BUBBLE BATH.
YOU WILL? YES, BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL JESSE ON THE IDEA OF A WEDDING IN NEBRASKA.
OK.
HOW WOULD I SELL NEBRASKA? WUH, WUH.
[AS WALTER BRENNAN.]
WUH, YOU TWO KIDS GETTING MARRIED? WUH, CONSIDER NEBRASKA, A DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY PLACE WITH DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY FOLKS WHERE THE CORN IS AS HIGH AS AN ELEPHANT'S EYE AND DAGNABIT, THE SKY'S NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY.
YOU PICTURE IT, JESS, MY BOY.
JUST PICTURE IT.
PICTURE IT.
HEY, GOAT.
YOU SEE MY FIANCEE AROUND HERE? [BAA.]
JESSE! TIME TO GET HITCHED, FARM BOY.
BECK, YOU GOT ME DRESSED UP LIKE A BEVERLY HILLBILLY.
YOU LOOK CUTER THAN A HOUND DOG IN A HAIR NET.
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME.
HI, BABY.
HAVE MERCY.
PLANT A BIG WET ONE ON ME, JETHRO.
NO WAY.
I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED ON HEE-HAW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JUST CHECKING.
JOSEPH, EXPLAIN TO MY FIANCEE THE VIRTUES OF A CLASSY, ELEGANT WEDDING AT GRACELAND, WON'T YOU? OK.
CLASSY AND ELEGANT.
[AS ROBIN LEACH.]
IMAGINE YOURSELF AT GRACELAND THE LUXURIOUS, PALATIAL ESTATE OF THE LATE, GREAT KING OF ROCK AND ROLL, ELVIS PRESLEY, WHERE EVERY CORNER OOZES ROMANCE-- FROM THE GOLD-PLATED RACQUETBALL COURTS TO THE NEWLY ASTROTURFED JUNGLE ROOM.
WORTH OVER PICTURE IT, PICTURE IT, PICTURE IT! [HORN HONKING.]
WHERE ARE YOU, DARLING? COME OUT HERE, BABY.
LET ME SEE YOU.
OH, YEAH.
YOU LOOK LIKE A HUNK-A, HUNK-A BURNING BRIDE, BABY.
JESS, ARE YOU SURE YOU LIKE MY HAIR LIKE THIS? I CAN BARELY HOLD MY HEAD UP.
OH, YOU LOOK PRETTIER THAN A FRIED PEANUT BUTTER AND 'NANA SANDWICH, PRISCILLA.
JESS, MY NAME IS REBECCA.
SORRY, 'CILLA.
WISE MAN SAY ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN, BUT I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU, BABY.
SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS WEDDING.
YEAH, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, PRISCILLA.
THAT BEEHIVE AIN'T HIGH ENOUGH.
LET'S JACK THAT BABY UP A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S GOT TO BE FIT FOR A KING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, BABY? I THINK YOU DO.
LET'S GET A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT.
MY NAME IS REBECCA, AND I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED WITH A HAIRDO LIKE MARGE SIMPSON! MARGE SIMPSON? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OKAY, COME ON, YOU GUYS.
HEY.
COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.
LISTEN, YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED REAL SOON, SO YOU BETTER LEARN TO COMPROMISE.
NOW, CALL ME TOTALLY NUTTY, BUT WHAT ABOUT HAVING A WEDDING RIGHT HERE WHERE YOU LIVE, IN SAN FRANCISCO? WELL, THE KID'S GOT SOMETHING THERE.
I MEAN, THIS IS WHERE WE MET AND THIS IS WHERE WE FELL IN LOVE.
YEAH, THIS IS WHERE ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE.
LET'S DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, AND LET'S GET MARRIED ON THE MOST ROMANTIC DAY OF THE YEAR.
AW, PERFECT.
ELVIS' BIRTHDAY.
NO.
VALENTINE'S DAY.
AW, I LOVE IT.
JOEY, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW, WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME A CREDIT CARD.
IF I CALL NOW, THEY'LL THROW IN A FREE BAM-BAM SOAP-ON-A-ROPE.
[AS BARNEY.]
UH, THANKS, FRED.
HA HA HA HA HA.
I FEEL SO AT PEACE NOW THAT WE FINALLY MADE THIS DECISION.
YEAH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN SIX WEEKS.
AAH! SIX WEEKS! WE HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO.
FIND A CHURCH, HIRE A HALL, BUY A DRESS, PICK OUT INVITATIONS, A BAND, A CATERER, COCKTAIL NAPKINS-- BECKY, WHY DON'T WE ELOPE? OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THEN WE'D NEED A BALCONY, A LADDER, A GETAWAY CAR, A FLASHLIGHT COME ON, ANTHONY, SMILE FOR MOMMY, PLEASE.
PRETTY PLEASE WITH NINJA TURTLES ON TOP? JUST LEAVE THIS TO US PROFESSIONALS.
OH, HAPPY HELPER? HERE I AM, HAPPY TO HELP.
GREAT.
GO GET ANTHONY TO GIVE US A BIG TOT-SHOT SMILE.
HI, ANTHONY.
I'M D.
J.
, THE HAPPY HELPER.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A BIG, HAPPY SMILE FOR YOUR PICTURE.
NO! THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.
IT'S HOWIE THE HIPPO.
LOOK AT HOW HE CAN ZIPPO, HOW HE CAN FLIPPO.
I REALLY FEEL LIKE A DIPPO.
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
COME ON.
I'VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU LAUGH? BE A DUCK.
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHILD.
IS THAT GONNA BE CASH OR CHARGE? CHECK.
OH, HAPPY HELPER.
KIMMY, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO COME BY EVERY DAY AND LAUGH AT ME? I'M NOT LAUGHING AT YOU, I'M LAUGHING WITH YOU.
ONLY YOU'RE NOT JOINING IN.
COME ON, TAKE A BREAK.
THOSE CUTE GUYS WANT TO BUY US PIZZA.
I DON'T WANT ANYONE CUTE SEEING ME LIKE THIS.
WHAT ABOUT AFTER WORK? I HAVE TO GO HOME, EAT DINNER, AND THEN TRY AND STAY AWAKE LONG ENOUGH TO STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
POOR KID.
YOU'RE WORKING LIKE A DOG AND DRESSING LIKE A DWEEB.
YOU MUST REALLY WANT THOSE BLOW-OUTS BAD.
IT'S MORE THAN SHOES.
I'M TRYING TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
THEN IF I WERE YOU, I'D LOSE THE CLOWN SUIT.
COME ON, BOYS.
COMET, IT'S NOT POLITE TO BEG.
NOW, SAY PLEASE.
[RUFF RUFF RUFF.]
VERY GOOD, COMET.
HEY, YOU FORGOT TO SAY THANK YOU.
GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MICHELLE.
IS DAD HOME YET? NO, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WELL, AT LEAST I'LL STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.
D.
J.
, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW YOUR DAD THAT SCIENCE TEST.
YES, I DO.
I PROMISED HIM THAT I'D RAISE MY GRADE, AND HE KNOWS I'M GETTING MY TEST BACK TODAY.
SO WHEN HE SEES THIS I'M DEAD.
THE FIRST "F" OF MY LIFE.
EXCUSE ME, BUT NO ELBOWS ON THE TABLE.
WHEN MY DAD FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS "F," HE GOING TO MAKE ME QUIT MY JOB.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I LOOK AT IT, I DON'T THINK YOU GOT AN "F.
" I BELIEVE THAT YOU GOT AN "A.
" [LOUDLY.]
KIMMY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? IT'S NOT POLITE TO YELL.
MICHELLE, I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITHOUT THE POLITE POLICE ON MY TAIL.
SO JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.
YOU FORGOT TO SAY PLEASE.
THAT'S IT! THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.
YOU KNOW, KIMMY, YOU REALLY MESSED ME UP BY GIVING ME THAT "A.
" NOW I CAN'T SHOW IT TO MY DAD.
WHY NOT? IT'S A PERFECT FORGERY.
KIMMY, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? WHAT YOU DID IS WRONG.
IT'S DISHONEST, IT'S DECEITFUL, IT REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE AN "A.
" QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! SMILE, D.
J.
OH, GREAT.
MORE HUMILIATION.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? WELL, WE WERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AND I HAD MY CAMERA, AND I THOUGHT WE'D JUST STOP BY AND SAY HI.
HI.
HI.
WELL, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A MOP ON YOUR HEAD? YES.
IT'S PART OF MY UNIFORM.
CAN I BORROW YOUR UNIFORM NEXT HALLOWEEN? WELL, I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.
WELL, BEFORE WE GO, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN-- AND I'M NOT-- WASN'T YOUR SCIENCE TEST DUE BACK TODAY? HOW'D YOU DO? I REALLY SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.
AW, COME ON, DEEJ.
TELL ME HOW YOU DID.
DID YOU BRING YOUR TEST PAPER WITH YOU? YEAH.
I'LL SHOW YOU, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD REALLY TELL YOU.
YOU GOT AN "A"? WAY TO GO! THIS IS GOING RIGHT UP THERE ON THE REFRIGERATOR.
DAD, THIS ISN'T-- YOU KNOW, SWEETIE, I'M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT I HAD MY DOUBTS ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU JUST PROVED TO ME THAT YOU CAN HOLD DOWN A JOB AND ACTUALLY IMPROVE ON YOUR SCHOOLWORK.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PROUD OF YOU, SWEETHEART.
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME? UH, THERE'S A SALE ON SPONGES DOWN AT BROOM BARN.
OH, WHAT BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
CAN I HELP YOU PEOPLE? YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
WE HAD NO INTENTION OF HAVING ANY PICTURES TAKEN, BUT YOUR BRIGHT YOUNG ASSISTANT HERE CONVINCED ME TO GET SOME SHOTS OF MY SWEET LITTLE MICHELLE OVER THERE.
WHAT A FINE, FINE SALESPERSON YOU HAVE IN THIS YOUNG LADY.
OK, HAPPY HELPER, START HAPPY HELPING.
OK, LITTLE GIRL, YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR PICTURE TAKEN.
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THAT BRIGHT YOUNG LADY IN THE CLOWN COSTUME, SHE IS FABULOUS.
YOU OUGHT TO GIVE HER A RAISE.
WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW? I'VE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
SAY CHEESE.
YOU MEAN, SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
CHEESE.
THIS IS AMAZING.
MY SWEET LITTLE MICHELLE HAS NEVER SMILED IN HER ENTIRE LIFE.
CHEESE.
CHEESE.
MAY I HAVE THAT CUPCAKE PLEASE? NO, YOU MAY NOT.
BUT I WAS POLITE, AND I SAID, "PLEASE.
" I WAS POLITE, TOO.
I SAID, "NO, YOU MAY NOT.
" GUESS WHAT.
POLITENESS WEEK IS OVER! HOW RUDE! WHOA.
WHOA.
WHOA.
HEY, DEEJ.
HI, UNCLE JESSE.
SEE YOU GOT AN "A" HERE ON YOUR SCIENCE.
IT WAS NOTHING.
LET'S HEAR WHAT AN "A" PAPER SOUNDS LIKE, SHALL WE? "PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
"PHOTOSYNTHESIS IS THE PROCESS IN WHICH PHOTOS ARE SYNTHESIZED.
" HMM, I WONDER WHAT AN "F" PAPER LOOKS LIKE.
ACTUALLY, MAYBE IT LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
HOW DID YOU KNOW? PFF, HOW DID I KNOW? YOU'RE TALKING TO A GUY WHO USED TO CHANGE 40s TO 90s, IN FACT-- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
ONE TIME I ACTUALLY GOT AWAY WITH CHANGING THE WORD "AWFUL" TO "AWESOME.
" THE POINT IS IT WAS WRONG, IT WAS WRONG.
THE POINT IS IT WAS WRONG, AND WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG TOO.
SAME THING.
WRONG.
I KNOW, BUT KIMMY WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED THE GRADE.
YES, BUT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, NOW, DID YOU.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO WITH THIS PAPER, DON'T YOU.
KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND DO BETTER NEXT TIME? WHERE'S DAD? IN THE LIVING ROOM ROTATING COUCH CUSHIONS.
HI, DAD.
HEY, DEEJ.
HERE'S A HELPFUL HINT.
ALWAYS ROTATE YOUR COUCH CUSHIONS EVERY 25,000 SITS.
DAD, WE NEED TO TALK.
YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU BEST? MY CHARM? MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS? YOUR FORGIVING NATURE.
WHAT DID YOU DO? HERE GOES.
MY SCIENCE GRADE WAS AN "F," AND KIMMY CHANGED IT TO AN "A.
" I'M JUST GUESSING SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO THIS.
DAD, I'M SORRY.
BUT WITH WORK AND ALL MY OTHER CLASSES, I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME AND TOLD ME WHAT WAS GOING ON.
D.
J.
WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING.
YOU WANTED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT, AND THIS IS THE LEAST RESPONSIBLE THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.
I JUST WANTED TO PROVE THAT I COULD EARN MY OWN MONEY.
WELL, THAT'S ALL OUT THE WINDOW NOW BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB AND NO HANGING OUT AT THE MALL UNTIL YOU PULL UP THAT GRADE.
OK.
GUESS I'LL GO BACK TO BEING A KID AGAIN.
DEEJ, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A KID.
YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.
YOU GOT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO BE AN ADULT.
WELL, I GUESS IF BEING AN ADULT MEANS WEARING A RED MOP ON MY HEAD, I COULD HANDLE BEING A KID A LITTLE LONGER.
IN CASE I FORGOT TO MENTION IT, YOU'RE A PRETTY GREAT KID.
THANKS, DAD.
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS MY FIRST AND LAST PAYCHECK.
YOU GONNA USE IT TO HELP PAY FOR THOSE BLOW-OUTS? ARE YOU KIDDING? PAY $160 FOR SHOES? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH QUACKING AND WADDLING I HAD TO DO TO EARN THIS MONEY? IT'S GOING IN THE BANK.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE LEARNING THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR.
I AM, AND I APPRECIATE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL WHEN I ASK YOU THIS.
DAD, CAN I HAVE A RAISE IN MY ALLOWANCE? YOU KNOW, HONEY? BACK TO THOSE COUCH CUSHIONS.
THINGS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS, YOU KNOW? * AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH * CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL * AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH * * DO BE DO BA BA DA **
AW, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR UNCLE JESSE, RIGHT? OKAY, HERE WE GO.
SIT OVER HERE, GRAB THE STICKS.
HERETHERE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT YOU DO IS START OFF ON THE BASS DRUM.
DO 1 AND 3 ON THE BASS DRUM, DO A BIG FLOURISH, AND END WITH A CYMBAL.
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? YEAH, FORGET ALL THAT.
JUST BANG THE HECK OUT OF 'EM.
ROCK 'N' ROLL! WE LOVE YOU, SAN FRANCISCO! * AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH * * AHH * * WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PREDICTABILITY * * THE MILKMAN, THE PAPERBOY * * EVENIN' TV * * HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE * * SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE * * THIS OLD WORLD'S * * CONFUSIN' ME * * CLOUDS AS MEAN AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN * * AIN'T A BIRD WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE * * THEN A LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOU WHISPERS * * KID, DON'T SELL YOUR DREAMS SO SOON * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * THERE'S A HEART * * A HAND TO HOLD ONTO * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * THERE'S A FACE OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE * * AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE * * A LIGHT IS WAITIN' * * TO CARRY YOU HOME * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK * * DO BE DO BA BA DA ** CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
HEY, STEPH.
WE JUST GOT BACK FROM PRESCHOOL, AND YOUR SISTER MICHELLE HAS SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU.
WANT TO SEE WHAT I GOT? SURE, WHY NOT? YOU HAVE TO SAY PLEASE.
I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED.
STEPH, JUST PLAY ALONG.
IT'S POLITENESS WEEK IN PRESCHOOL.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OFFICER MICHELLE OF THE POLITE POLICE.
I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, MISTER.
STEPHANIE HAVE A VERY NICE DAY.
HI.
HEY.
DAD, BOY, I MISSED YOU.
HOW'S THE GREATEST DAD IN THE HISTORY OF DADS FEELING TODAY? VERY SUSPICIOUS.
COMPLIMENT HIM ON HIS SHOE, SOCK, PANT COMBINATION.
DADS LOVE THAT.
DAD, SIT DOWN.
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
CAREFUL, DAD.
SHE NEEDS MONEY AND LOTS OF IT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? DEEJ, WE GO BACK EIGHT YEARS.
WE ALL KNOW WHEN IT'S KISS-UP TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW MUCH? WELL, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THIS MONEY'S NOT FOR ANYTHING FUN.
IT'S FOR CLOTHES-- A BASIC NECESSITY OF LIFE.
HOW MUCH? WELL, BEFORE I TELL YOU THE ACTUAL DOLLAR AMOUNT, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT THESE ARE THE WORLD'S COOLEST TENNIS SHOES.
HOW MUCH? ONLY $80 PER SHOE.
WHY ARE WE LAUGHING? 'CAUSE FOR A SECOND THERE I THOUGHT YOU ACTUALLY ASKED ME FOR $160 FOR SNEAKERS.
I DID.
BUT THESE AREN'T JUST SNEAKERS.
THESE ARE BLOW-OUTS.
BLOW-OUTS ARE SO RAD.
THEY ACTUALLY INHALE AND EXHALE AS YOU WALK.
AND IF I DON'T GET THESE, I'M GONNA BE A TOTAL GEEK.
YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS, MR.
T.
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
DEEJ, YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CROWD.
WHEN I WAS A BOY AND EVERYBODY WAS WASTING THEIR ALLOWANCE ON THOSE EVEL KNIEVEL JUMPSUITS, I WENT OUT AND I BOUGHT SOME SENSIBLE SANSABELT PANTS WITH AN ADJUSTABLE WAISTBAND, A STYLE STILL WORN TODAY BY SOME OF AMERICA'S FINEST BOWLERS.
TIME FOR PLAN "B.
" DAD, WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF I NEVER HAD TO WEASEL MONEY OUT OF YOU AGAIN? I LIKE PLAN "B" SO FAR.
I CAN EARN MY OWN MONEY BY GETTING A JOB.
THERE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER DOWN AT THE MALL, AND HE SAID THAT I COULD BE HIS PART-TIME ASSISTANT.
DEEJ, WHAT ABOUT YOUR SCHOOLWORK? YOUR GRADE IN SCIENCE HAS BEEN SLIPPING LATELY.
I GIVE YOU MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE THAT D.
J.
WILL RAISE HER GRADE IN SCIENCE.
OH, THE GIBBLER GUARANTEE.
OH, WELL, THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
HEY, DAD, COME ON.
I'M 14 YEARS OLD.
I'M READY FOR ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GRADES UP, YOU CAN TAKE THE JOB.
OH, THANKS, DAD.
YEAH, THANKS, MR.
T.
WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY? D.
J.
's GETTING BLOW-OUTS, AND WE HAVE THE SAME SIZE FEET.
HI, SWEETHEART.
BEAUTIFUL.
LISTEN, MY FOLKS CALLED TODAY, AND THEY HAVE THIS WACKY IDEA THAT SINCE WE'RE ENGAGED, WE SHOULD ACTUALLY SET A DATE AND PLACE FOR THE WEDDING.
WELL, JUST SAY THE MAGIC WORD-- GRACELAND.
HONEY, I KNOW IT'S YOUR DREAM TO GET MARRIED IN THAT CRUSHED-VELVET AMUSEMENT PARK, BUT CONSIDER ALL THE BENEFITS OF A WEDDING BACK IN MY HOMETOWN, VALENTINE, NEBRASKA.
NAME ONE.
IT'S NOT GRACELAND.
OH, COME ON.
YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN GRACELAND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU'RE 27-YEARS-OLD JESS, JESS! WHAT? QUICK, CAN I BORROW YOUR CREDIT CARD? I'M WAY OVER MY LIMIT, AND THE SHOPPING NETWORK IS OFFERING A SPECIAL ON THE BARNEY RUBBLE BATH COLLECTION.
NO WAY.
YOU STILL HAVEN'T PAID ME FOR THAT CALIFORNIA RAISIN CHESS SET.
JOEY, I'LL BUY YOU THE RUBBLE BUBBLE BATH.
YOU WILL? YES, BUT YOU HAVE TO SELL JESSE ON THE IDEA OF A WEDDING IN NEBRASKA.
OK.
HOW WOULD I SELL NEBRASKA? WUH, WUH.
[AS WALTER BRENNAN.]
WUH, YOU TWO KIDS GETTING MARRIED? WUH, CONSIDER NEBRASKA, A DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY PLACE WITH DOWNRIGHT FRIENDLY FOLKS WHERE THE CORN IS AS HIGH AS AN ELEPHANT'S EYE AND DAGNABIT, THE SKY'S NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY.
YOU PICTURE IT, JESS, MY BOY.
JUST PICTURE IT.
PICTURE IT.
HEY, GOAT.
YOU SEE MY FIANCEE AROUND HERE? [BAA.]
JESSE! TIME TO GET HITCHED, FARM BOY.
BECK, YOU GOT ME DRESSED UP LIKE A BEVERLY HILLBILLY.
YOU LOOK CUTER THAN A HOUND DOG IN A HAIR NET.
READY OR NOT, HERE I COME.
HI, BABY.
HAVE MERCY.
PLANT A BIG WET ONE ON ME, JETHRO.
NO WAY.
I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED ON HEE-HAW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JUST CHECKING.
JOSEPH, EXPLAIN TO MY FIANCEE THE VIRTUES OF A CLASSY, ELEGANT WEDDING AT GRACELAND, WON'T YOU? OK.
CLASSY AND ELEGANT.
[AS ROBIN LEACH.]
IMAGINE YOURSELF AT GRACELAND THE LUXURIOUS, PALATIAL ESTATE OF THE LATE, GREAT KING OF ROCK AND ROLL, ELVIS PRESLEY, WHERE EVERY CORNER OOZES ROMANCE-- FROM THE GOLD-PLATED RACQUETBALL COURTS TO THE NEWLY ASTROTURFED JUNGLE ROOM.
WORTH OVER PICTURE IT, PICTURE IT, PICTURE IT! [HORN HONKING.]
WHERE ARE YOU, DARLING? COME OUT HERE, BABY.
LET ME SEE YOU.
OH, YEAH.
YOU LOOK LIKE A HUNK-A, HUNK-A BURNING BRIDE, BABY.
JESS, ARE YOU SURE YOU LIKE MY HAIR LIKE THIS? I CAN BARELY HOLD MY HEAD UP.
OH, YOU LOOK PRETTIER THAN A FRIED PEANUT BUTTER AND 'NANA SANDWICH, PRISCILLA.
JESS, MY NAME IS REBECCA.
SORRY, 'CILLA.
WISE MAN SAY ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN, BUT I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU, BABY.
SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS WEDDING.
YEAH, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, PRISCILLA.
THAT BEEHIVE AIN'T HIGH ENOUGH.
LET'S JACK THAT BABY UP A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S GOT TO BE FIT FOR A KING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, BABY? I THINK YOU DO.
LET'S GET A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT.
MY NAME IS REBECCA, AND I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED WITH A HAIRDO LIKE MARGE SIMPSON! MARGE SIMPSON? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OKAY, COME ON, YOU GUYS.
HEY.
COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH.
LISTEN, YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED REAL SOON, SO YOU BETTER LEARN TO COMPROMISE.
NOW, CALL ME TOTALLY NUTTY, BUT WHAT ABOUT HAVING A WEDDING RIGHT HERE WHERE YOU LIVE, IN SAN FRANCISCO? WELL, THE KID'S GOT SOMETHING THERE.
I MEAN, THIS IS WHERE WE MET AND THIS IS WHERE WE FELL IN LOVE.
YEAH, THIS IS WHERE ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE.
LET'S DO IT.
ALL RIGHT, AND LET'S GET MARRIED ON THE MOST ROMANTIC DAY OF THE YEAR.
AW, PERFECT.
ELVIS' BIRTHDAY.
NO.
VALENTINE'S DAY.
AW, I LOVE IT.
JOEY, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
NOW, WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME A CREDIT CARD.
IF I CALL NOW, THEY'LL THROW IN A FREE BAM-BAM SOAP-ON-A-ROPE.
[AS BARNEY.]
UH, THANKS, FRED.
HA HA HA HA HA.
I FEEL SO AT PEACE NOW THAT WE FINALLY MADE THIS DECISION.
YEAH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN SIX WEEKS.
AAH! SIX WEEKS! WE HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO.
FIND A CHURCH, HIRE A HALL, BUY A DRESS, PICK OUT INVITATIONS, A BAND, A CATERER, COCKTAIL NAPKINS-- BECKY, WHY DON'T WE ELOPE? OH, I DON'T KNOW.
THEN WE'D NEED A BALCONY, A LADDER, A GETAWAY CAR, A FLASHLIGHT COME ON, ANTHONY, SMILE FOR MOMMY, PLEASE.
PRETTY PLEASE WITH NINJA TURTLES ON TOP? JUST LEAVE THIS TO US PROFESSIONALS.
OH, HAPPY HELPER? HERE I AM, HAPPY TO HELP.
GREAT.
GO GET ANTHONY TO GIVE US A BIG TOT-SHOT SMILE.
HI, ANTHONY.
I'M D.
J.
, THE HAPPY HELPER.
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A BIG, HAPPY SMILE FOR YOUR PICTURE.
NO! THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.
IT'S HOWIE THE HIPPO.
LOOK AT HOW HE CAN ZIPPO, HOW HE CAN FLIPPO.
I REALLY FEEL LIKE A DIPPO.
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
COME ON.
I'VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK.
NOW, WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU LAUGH? BE A DUCK.
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHILD.
IS THAT GONNA BE CASH OR CHARGE? CHECK.
OH, HAPPY HELPER.
KIMMY, DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO COME BY EVERY DAY AND LAUGH AT ME? I'M NOT LAUGHING AT YOU, I'M LAUGHING WITH YOU.
ONLY YOU'RE NOT JOINING IN.
COME ON, TAKE A BREAK.
THOSE CUTE GUYS WANT TO BUY US PIZZA.
I DON'T WANT ANYONE CUTE SEEING ME LIKE THIS.
WHAT ABOUT AFTER WORK? I HAVE TO GO HOME, EAT DINNER, AND THEN TRY AND STAY AWAKE LONG ENOUGH TO STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
POOR KID.
YOU'RE WORKING LIKE A DOG AND DRESSING LIKE A DWEEB.
YOU MUST REALLY WANT THOSE BLOW-OUTS BAD.
IT'S MORE THAN SHOES.
I'M TRYING TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
THEN IF I WERE YOU, I'D LOSE THE CLOWN SUIT.
COME ON, BOYS.
COMET, IT'S NOT POLITE TO BEG.
NOW, SAY PLEASE.
[RUFF RUFF RUFF.]
VERY GOOD, COMET.
HEY, YOU FORGOT TO SAY THANK YOU.
GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MICHELLE.
IS DAD HOME YET? NO, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WELL, AT LEAST I'LL STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES.
D.
J.
, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW YOUR DAD THAT SCIENCE TEST.
YES, I DO.
I PROMISED HIM THAT I'D RAISE MY GRADE, AND HE KNOWS I'M GETTING MY TEST BACK TODAY.
SO WHEN HE SEES THIS I'M DEAD.
THE FIRST "F" OF MY LIFE.
EXCUSE ME, BUT NO ELBOWS ON THE TABLE.
WHEN MY DAD FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS "F," HE GOING TO MAKE ME QUIT MY JOB.
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I LOOK AT IT, I DON'T THINK YOU GOT AN "F.
" I BELIEVE THAT YOU GOT AN "A.
" [LOUDLY.]
KIMMY, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? IT'S NOT POLITE TO YELL.
MICHELLE, I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITHOUT THE POLITE POLICE ON MY TAIL.
SO JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.
YOU FORGOT TO SAY PLEASE.
THAT'S IT! THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THIS IS NOT POLITE.
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.
YOU KNOW, KIMMY, YOU REALLY MESSED ME UP BY GIVING ME THAT "A.
" NOW I CAN'T SHOW IT TO MY DAD.
WHY NOT? IT'S A PERFECT FORGERY.
KIMMY, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? WHAT YOU DID IS WRONG.
IT'S DISHONEST, IT'S DECEITFUL, IT REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE AN "A.
" QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! SMILE, D.
J.
OH, GREAT.
MORE HUMILIATION.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? WELL, WE WERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AND I HAD MY CAMERA, AND I THOUGHT WE'D JUST STOP BY AND SAY HI.
HI.
HI.
WELL, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A MOP ON YOUR HEAD? YES.
IT'S PART OF MY UNIFORM.
CAN I BORROW YOUR UNIFORM NEXT HALLOWEEN? WELL, I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.
WELL, BEFORE WE GO, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN-- AND I'M NOT-- WASN'T YOUR SCIENCE TEST DUE BACK TODAY? HOW'D YOU DO? I REALLY SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.
AW, COME ON, DEEJ.
TELL ME HOW YOU DID.
DID YOU BRING YOUR TEST PAPER WITH YOU? YEAH.
I'LL SHOW YOU, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD REALLY TELL YOU.
YOU GOT AN "A"? WAY TO GO! THIS IS GOING RIGHT UP THERE ON THE REFRIGERATOR.
DAD, THIS ISN'T-- YOU KNOW, SWEETIE, I'M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT I HAD MY DOUBTS ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU JUST PROVED TO ME THAT YOU CAN HOLD DOWN A JOB AND ACTUALLY IMPROVE ON YOUR SCHOOLWORK.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO PROUD OF YOU, SWEETHEART.
NOW, WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME? UH, THERE'S A SALE ON SPONGES DOWN AT BROOM BARN.
OH, WHAT BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
CAN I HELP YOU PEOPLE? YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
WE HAD NO INTENTION OF HAVING ANY PICTURES TAKEN, BUT YOUR BRIGHT YOUNG ASSISTANT HERE CONVINCED ME TO GET SOME SHOTS OF MY SWEET LITTLE MICHELLE OVER THERE.
WHAT A FINE, FINE SALESPERSON YOU HAVE IN THIS YOUNG LADY.
OK, HAPPY HELPER, START HAPPY HELPING.
OK, LITTLE GIRL, YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR PICTURE TAKEN.
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THAT BRIGHT YOUNG LADY IN THE CLOWN COSTUME, SHE IS FABULOUS.
YOU OUGHT TO GIVE HER A RAISE.
WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW? I'VE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
SAY CHEESE.
YOU MEAN, SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
SAY CHEESE, PLEASE.
CHEESE.
THIS IS AMAZING.
MY SWEET LITTLE MICHELLE HAS NEVER SMILED IN HER ENTIRE LIFE.
CHEESE.
CHEESE.
MAY I HAVE THAT CUPCAKE PLEASE? NO, YOU MAY NOT.
BUT I WAS POLITE, AND I SAID, "PLEASE.
" I WAS POLITE, TOO.
I SAID, "NO, YOU MAY NOT.
" GUESS WHAT.
POLITENESS WEEK IS OVER! HOW RUDE! WHOA.
WHOA.
WHOA.
HEY, DEEJ.
HI, UNCLE JESSE.
SEE YOU GOT AN "A" HERE ON YOUR SCIENCE.
IT WAS NOTHING.
LET'S HEAR WHAT AN "A" PAPER SOUNDS LIKE, SHALL WE? "PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
"PHOTOSYNTHESIS IS THE PROCESS IN WHICH PHOTOS ARE SYNTHESIZED.
" HMM, I WONDER WHAT AN "F" PAPER LOOKS LIKE.
ACTUALLY, MAYBE IT LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
HOW DID YOU KNOW? PFF, HOW DID I KNOW? YOU'RE TALKING TO A GUY WHO USED TO CHANGE 40s TO 90s, IN FACT-- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
ONE TIME I ACTUALLY GOT AWAY WITH CHANGING THE WORD "AWFUL" TO "AWESOME.
" THE POINT IS IT WAS WRONG, IT WAS WRONG.
THE POINT IS IT WAS WRONG, AND WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG TOO.
SAME THING.
WRONG.
I KNOW, BUT KIMMY WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED THE GRADE.
YES, BUT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, NOW, DID YOU.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO WITH THIS PAPER, DON'T YOU.
KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT AND DO BETTER NEXT TIME? WHERE'S DAD? IN THE LIVING ROOM ROTATING COUCH CUSHIONS.
HI, DAD.
HEY, DEEJ.
HERE'S A HELPFUL HINT.
ALWAYS ROTATE YOUR COUCH CUSHIONS EVERY 25,000 SITS.
DAD, WE NEED TO TALK.
YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU BEST? MY CHARM? MY RUGGED GOOD LOOKS? YOUR FORGIVING NATURE.
WHAT DID YOU DO? HERE GOES.
MY SCIENCE GRADE WAS AN "F," AND KIMMY CHANGED IT TO AN "A.
" I'M JUST GUESSING SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO THIS.
DAD, I'M SORRY.
BUT WITH WORK AND ALL MY OTHER CLASSES, I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO STUDY FOR MY SCIENCE TEST.
THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME AND TOLD ME WHAT WAS GOING ON.
D.
J.
WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING.
YOU WANTED TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT, AND THIS IS THE LEAST RESPONSIBLE THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.
I JUST WANTED TO PROVE THAT I COULD EARN MY OWN MONEY.
WELL, THAT'S ALL OUT THE WINDOW NOW BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO QUIT YOUR JOB AND NO HANGING OUT AT THE MALL UNTIL YOU PULL UP THAT GRADE.
OK.
GUESS I'LL GO BACK TO BEING A KID AGAIN.
DEEJ, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A KID.
YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.
YOU GOT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO BE AN ADULT.
WELL, I GUESS IF BEING AN ADULT MEANS WEARING A RED MOP ON MY HEAD, I COULD HANDLE BEING A KID A LITTLE LONGER.
IN CASE I FORGOT TO MENTION IT, YOU'RE A PRETTY GREAT KID.
THANKS, DAD.
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS MY FIRST AND LAST PAYCHECK.
YOU GONNA USE IT TO HELP PAY FOR THOSE BLOW-OUTS? ARE YOU KIDDING? PAY $160 FOR SHOES? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH QUACKING AND WADDLING I HAD TO DO TO EARN THIS MONEY? IT'S GOING IN THE BANK.
THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE LEARNING THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR.
I AM, AND I APPRECIATE HOW YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL WHEN I ASK YOU THIS.
DAD, CAN I HAVE A RAISE IN MY ALLOWANCE? YOU KNOW, HONEY? BACK TO THOSE COUCH CUSHIONS.
THINGS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS, YOU KNOW? * AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH * CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL * AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH * * DO BE DO BA BA DA **