Phineas and Ferb s04e14 Episode Script

So, we all need to be prepared.
You'll want to find a safe place and establish a defensive perimeter.
Like in the basement? No! You never go in the basement! What is going on here? It's just our bi-monthly Zombie Apocalypse preparedness lecture.
Yeah! You're welcome to join us.
You might learn something.
Puh-lease, Phineas.
There's nothing about zombies that I don't know.
Did you know there's one standing behind you? Very funny.
Ha! Good one, bro.
Phineas, Pinky's missing! Aw, that's too bad, Isabella.
Chihuahuas, that's the first thing zombies go for.
Uh, we moved past zombies, Buford.
He's been gone all morning! He didn't even touch his breakfast burrito.
What am I going to do? We could put up posters.
We could do nothing.
We could make a portable positronic canine detector using the olfactory receptors that Ferb and I were gonna use for our milligram scale purification study.
Let's do that one! You kids have fun.
Really, I wish I could stay and bust you but I have a lunch date with Jeremy down at City Hall.
City Hall serves lunch? I thought they only served subpoenas! Oh, come on! What's a guy gotta do to get a rimshot around here? For your information, I'm going down to City Hall because Jeremy's working the Slushy Dawg concession stand at the food court there.
And we're gonna have lunch together.
But don't worry, Isabella.
I'm sure Pinky'll turn up.
Perry always does.
Speaking of which, where is Perry? And where's Pinky? And where's that breakfast burrito? Ah, there's my guy! Ah, Agent P.
I believe you know Agent Pinky.
Agent Pinky informs us that Doof intends to steal the deed to the Tri-State Area from the City Hall archives.
It seems he's discovered that whoever has the deed automatically becomes the ruler.
It's an old law from a simpler time.
You'll find that Agent Pinky is quite an asset, Agent P.
He's good with computers, covert ops, and, quite frankly, he needs the hours.
So get out there and stop Doofenshmirtz! Good luck, Agents P and, uh P! Good luck, Agents P and, uh P! I guess you're just two "P's" in a pod.
Carl, where's my rimshot? It's right in front of you.
How did you do that? Now I am here, but the best way to the food court is Is by taking the mandatory city hall tour! But— Wouldn't want a bunch of uninformed people wandering around City Hall! But— You can't fight it.
I've been on this tour since this morning and I've been caught trying to escape twice! No talking back there! Now, follow me to a world of bureaucratic action and adventure! Perry the Platypus? No way! What a coincidence! Excuse me, if you and your mullet would just take one step to the Thank you.
Oh, look! You brought your little dog, too! How cute! Oh, FYI, I don't think they allow dogs in here.
So, you know, watch out for that.
Anyway, I bet you're wondering why I'm in City Hall, right? Well, I plan to go down into the secret City Hall vault and steal the— Oh, y-you know that, right.
Right, right, of course.
'Cause that's probably why you're here.
To stop me, right? What you probably don't know is how I will get into the vault without being noticed.
Behold! My Blend-Into-The-Background-inator.
I will be able to search out and steal the hidden deed, because, like they say, it's easier to find a hidden object when you're hidden as well.
What? That's a thing.
They say that.
Anyway, I place the inator on my head, like so, I press this button and, now I'm here, and now I'm blended in.
I'm here, I'm gone! I'm here, I'm go— Oh, my head! I-I hope there's no long-term damage from this, but— Ugh! Anyway, I bet you think I forgot to trap you.
Well, surprise! You're already trapped by bureaucracy! You're already trapped by bureaucracy! You see, you don't have a number, Perry the Platypus.
So by the time you and your little dog get into the archives, I will already be ruler of the Tri-State Area! I'm sorry, you cannot go in there without a number, sir.
Oh, please don't tell me you brought your dog! Behold, the Dog Sensomatic Helmet! It will amplify Buford's senses to those of a dog.
Okay, Buford.
What do you smell now? I think I can smell the future! It's working! Do you smell Pinky yet? I smell somethin'! I smell I smell bacon! No, Buford, wait! Uh-oh.
Now, this is a very old painting depicting John P.
Tristate and Otto H.
Adjacent— Excuse me, I just need to get to the food court.
Please hold all your questions till the end.
Those are the rules and also please refrain from gum chewing and there are no pets allowed on the tour.
Also there are no cutsies or halfsies for funsies.
And absolutely no crossing the stanchions, please! ¡No cruzar la cuerda por favor! (Please don't cross the line!) To the basement! Quit it! Fresh! All right, let see Garage, basement, catacombs, pessimistic humanoid underground dwellings Ah! Here it is! Gift shop and secret vault! Who's a good boy? It's me, right? Who's a good boy? Am I the good boy? You're a good boy! You mean me, right? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Isabella, how does this help us with Pinky? Easy, I've been rubbing his belly with Pinky's squeak toy.
Now he's got the scent! He's this way! I can smell it! Good boy! Yeah! I'm a good boy, right? Yes, you are! Huh? Oh, that had better not be the mailman! No, Buford, you're supposed to be finding Pinky! What kind of elevator falls at the speed of gravity? Why did they even put an elevator there? I could've just jumped down the shaft or with— The deed! Well, I guess it's not not all that hidden, then, is it? Well, maybe it's just easier to find 'cause I'm hidden! Yes, I knew that was a real saying! Come to Papa! Perry the Platypus?! Oh, and your pet dog.
How did you escape the clutches of bureaucracy? Oh, y-you took a number.
I guess the line wasn't as long as I thought.
But you're too late! Once I get outside, I will own the Tri-State Area! W-Which one is it? Oh, great, now I'm confused! And over here are the spontaneous musical number dioramas.
The huh? Ooh, Danville is known for its spontaneous musical numbers.
For instance (Song: The History of the Tri-State Area) A lot of people know that the Tri-State Area Used to be a Bi-State Area with an Adjacent Area over there What people don't know is that originally it was three distinct Single-State Areas, but people don't care The founders of the Area were independent thinkers Completely unaffected by bureaucratic hurdles And that's why the Capitol building was moved here from Sri Lanka On the backs of seven giant sea turtles It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area Formed mostly from adobe and seaweed If you've heard it different elsewhere, that's historical hysteria So stop believing everything you read! Over here's a diorama of the first diorama Of Vincent Diorama, who lived right here! When I say "right here", I mean in this very room 'Til we moved him to a studio apartment last year It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss It's the birthplace of the onion and the Danville cafeteria And home of Bigfoot's hairless cousin, us! It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area Where planet Venus holds some office space Try to think of someplace better, well I double-dog-dare ya But if you can't, then get out of my face! It's the history of the Tri-State Area! (History of the Tri-State Area!) (Area!) And now, step this way for the history of the history of accounting.
Okay, let see The Declaration of Independence, the Magna Carta, the Deed to the Tri-State— I mean the Mayflower Compact? Goodbye, Perry the Platypus! Oh! Oh! In here! Follow Buford! Hey, guys, he went here! I think Buford found him! Really? A doggy door in a municipal building that does not allow dogs? What— Who did that? This way, everyone! Let see, how do you get outta here now? Hey! Huh? Another dog! This way! Oh, I hope it's Pinky! Right here! Right here, and— What? He should be right here! Oh, man! I don't get it.
Uh, maybe the helmet needs to be fine-tuned.
Yeah, you guys do that.
I'm gonna go get a Slushy Dawg.
R-I-D-E, colon.
R-I-D-E, colon.
R-I-D-E, colon.
R-I-D-E, colon.
R-I-D-E, colon.
Password? Oh, good! I'm really good at passwords! Okay, let see Uh, how about, the "Reindeer flotilla".
Huh.
And send.
Yes! Now, I'll just take this deed outside and I'll be the ruler of the— Perry the Platypus?! And your little dog, too? You're both persistent, I'll give you that, but the security system is offline and there's nothing you or your little dog friend can do about it! You know, unless, one of you happens to be really good with computers.
Agent Pinky is good with computers good with computers good with computers good with computers good with computers Wow! That guy is really good with computers! Now, who's ready to see the whole tour again? Run! Actually, the song part was nice.
Oh, you like the song, do ya? Well Hey! Hold it! Is that a dog? Hey, it's Pinky! I'm sorry, no dogs allowed! This tour is officially over! Candace! Candace, you found him! Thank you! You said he'd turn up and he did! Oh, there you are, Perry! Way to go, Candace! Come on, you two wandering pets! Who wants a breakfast burrito? I do! Exactly how long have you worked here at City Hall? Oh, I don't work here.
I was sent by Yarnak to help uninformed citizens in need! Now, if you'll excuse me, I am needed elsewhere! Whoosh! Hey, Candace! Where were you? I'm sorry I missed lunch, Jeremy, but this weird guy made me go on a tour.
That's Don.
He's, uh, kind of a fixture around here.
I'm the ruler of the Tri-State Area! Oh, great, now I'm confused! It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss It's the birthplace of the onion and the Danville cafeteria And home of Bigfoot's hairless cousin, us! It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area Where planet Venus holds some office space Try to think of someplace better, well I double-dog-dare ya But if you can't, then get out of my face! It's the history of the Tri-State Area! (History of the Tri-State Area!) (Area!)