Tales from the Crypt (1989) s04e14 Episode Script
Curiosity Killed
[SHRIEK.]
[SHRIEK.]
AH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA! GERONIMO! [GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
SO GLAD YOU COULD DROP IN KILL SEEKERS.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME IT ONLY HURT WHEN I LAUGH.
HA HA HA HA HA! IT ONLY HURT WHEN I LAUGH.
HA HA HA HA HA! BOY THAT WAS GOOD! IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN HANG GLIDING.
IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN HANG GLIDING.
SOME FOLKS WOULD RATHER KEEP THEIR FEET ONTERRORFIRMA, LIKE THE PEOPLE IN TONIGHT'S PUTRID PIECE.
THEY'RE SPENDING A NICE QUIET WEEKEND IN THE WOODS GOINGHACKTO NATURE.
HA HA HA! I CALL THIS FETID FABLE CURIOSITY KILLED.
I CALL THIS FETID FABLE CURIOSITY KILLED.
[SLURP.]
[SLURP.]
[BURP.]
YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME.
HERE WE GO AGAIN, ANOTHER BITCH FIT.
LOOK AT THIS-- RUTABAGA, BOK-CHOI, DAIKON, TOFU, CELERY JUICE! CELERY JUICE! THIS ISN'T FOOD.
IT'S A COMPOST HEAP.
THAT'S THE BEST HEALTH FOOD HARRY AND I COULD FIND.
MADAM, BEHAVE YOURSELF, AND YOU'LL BE SURPRISED.
THIS WASN'T A PLANNED WEEKEND ON THE TOWN, AND YOU KNEW IT.
NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
YOU'RE GETTING OFF ON YOUR EMOTIONAL SKYROCKET.
YOU ARE BEING ABUSIVE.
YOU GET ME UP HERE, A HUNDRED MILES FROM CIVILIZATION-- AND I TOLD YOU THAT'S WHAT IT WOULD BE-- [RUFF RUFF.]
CONTROL YOURSELF.
YOU CONTROL YOURSELF.
THIS IS WHAT WE GOT.
THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL EAT.
I WANT REAL FOOD IN A REAL RESTAURANT, AND I-- THERE ISN'T A REAL RESTAURANT WITHIN A THREE-HOUR DRIVE.
I'M IN A DAMN SWAMP WITH NO FOOD BUT MY LIVER.
DON'T BITE ON THAT.
IT'S FULL OF BILE.
DON'T BITE ON THAT.
IT'S FULL OF BILE.
CYNTHIA, I'M WARNING YOU.
YOU PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, OR I SWEAR I'LL-- YOU'LL WHAT, HUH? AAH! OH, THESE DAMN BUGS.
OH, I NEVER EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE WANTED TO GO CAMPING.
I'M AN INDOORS GIRL.
BUT NO.
YOUR FRIEND HARRY WANTED TO GO CAMPING, SO WE-- [RUFF RUFF.]
HARRY EATS MAGGOT BIOTIC GARBAGE, SO WE HAVE TO STARVE.
YOU'RE MAKING A SPECTACLE OF YOURSELF.
YOU'VE GOT ME OUT HERE CAMPING.
I'M STARVING, AND I HATE IT.
GIVE ME THE CREDIT CARDS AND THE KEY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
THEY'RE MY CREDIT CARDS, TOO.
AAH! STUPID DOG.
I SHOULD HAVE HAD YOU BOTH PUT DOWN.
IF I HAVE TO DRIVE MYSELF, I'M GOING HOME.
NO, YOU WON'T.
YES, I WILL! YOU WILL NOT! YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH CIVILIZATION! AAH! I CAN'T WATCH THAT ANYMORE.
THE MOON'S SOON FULL.
IT WILL BE TIME.
I FEAR WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THESE PEOPLE KEEP FIGHTING.
THEY'VE KNOCKED EACH OTHER ABOUT FOR 45 YEARS.
HE'S MARRIED TO A CROCODILE.
HE'S MARRIED TO A CROCODILE.
DOES SHE REMIND YOU OF EMMA? EMMA WASN'T THAT BAD.
AND NEVER WILL BE AGAIN.
YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE INVITED THEM.
JACK SAVED MY LIFE.
IF HE HADN'T DRAGGED ME THROUGH A FIREFIGHT, I'D BE UNDER GUADALCANAL.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO REPAY HIM.
NOW I FINALLY CAN.
NO, NO, NO GOOD AT ALL.
[CYNTHIA.]
YOU KNOW WHAT? AS SOON AS WE GET BACK I HOPE YOU'RE HOME WHEN THE BILLS COME BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE-- WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER IF WE ALLOWED OURSELVES TO SUCCUMB TO THE BEAUTY OF THIS PEACEFUL PLACE? WHAT? I CAN SMELL JASMINE.
IN THE ISLAND WHERE MY FAMILY LIVE, WE HAD A GROVE LIKE THIS, WHERE WE'D SIT ON THE STUMPS OF TREES AND LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF SILENCE.
I COULD DO WITH SILENCE.
LET IT BEGIN WITH YOU.
DIGLYCERIDES.
DIGLYCERIDES? WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE? IT MIGHT BE PARTLY GENETIC, IN WHICH CASE IT'S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.
YOU COULD USE MORE YELLOW VEGETABLES IN YOUR DIET.
MORE MAGGOT BIOTIC STUFF? LUCILLE.
PLEASE STOP STIRRING THAT STUFF.
IT'S MAKING ME QUITE SICK.
THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL MIXTURE OF HERBS.
IT WILL DO WONDERFUL THINGS.
NAME ONE.
NAME ONE.
IT'S A NATURAL INSECTICIDE.
IT REPELS WITHOUT KILLING.
WORKS VERY WELL, I CAN SEE.
HARRY, SORRY ABOUT THE DISTURBANCE.
WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO HIM FOR? HE SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO US.
HE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO ME.
CYNTHIA, PLEASE! KEEP ON LIKE THIS, YOU'LL KILL ME.
TO KILL YOU, I WOULDN'T USE WORDS.
I'D DO IT LITTLE BY LITTLE.
FIRST I'D CUT OFF YOUR DICK.
FIRST I'D CUT OFF YOUR DICK.
WHAT THE HELL.
YOU HAVEN'T USED THE THING IN 20 YEARS.
WHAT THE HELL.
YOU HAVEN'T USED THE THING IN 20 YEARS.
NO.
NO.
NO, I HAVEN'T, HAVE I? HAVE I? SOMETIMES THAT MAN JUST GETS THE BEST OF ME.
SOMETIMES THAT MAN JUST GETS THE BEST OF ME.
DON'T DO IT, JACK.
DON'T DO IT.
SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THIS, YOU CAN'T DRINK.
ONE DROP OF THIS, AND EVERYTHING GOES THE WRONG WAY.
I TRIED.
I TRIED SO DAMN HARD, HARRY.
I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE.
WHEN EMMA WAS THIS WAY, I ALMOST DROPPED HER.
WHEN EMMA WAS THIS WAY, I ALMOST DROPPED HER.
THAT'S A HELL OF AN IDEA.
CYNTHIA AND HER LAWYERS WOULD BE IN ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHAT WILL YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO? ONE NIGHT WHEN WE WERE CAMPING NOT FAR FROM HERE, SHE WANDERED OFF FROM THE CAMPSITE.
WE SEARCHED FOR DAYS.
MM-HMM.
NEVER FOUND HER.
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT, I'M BEHIND YOU.
I'M BEHIND YOU.
I JUST HEARD SOMETHING VERY STRANGE.
I JUST HEARD SOMETHING VERY STRANGE.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.
THE MOON WILL BE VERY CLEAR TONIGHT.
THE MOON WILL BE VERY CLEAR TONIGHT.
AND THAT IS GOOD.
AND THAT IS GOOD.
HOW DEEP DO WE HAVE TO DIG? NOT VERY.
I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE MYSELF.
I AM A MAN WHO'S LIVED A LONG LIFE, A REALISTIC BUSINESSMAN WHO THINKS HE'S SEEN IT ALL, AND I'M ON MY KNEES AT NIGHT IN A SWAMP.
AND I'M ON MY KNEES AT NIGHT IN A SWAMP.
DIGGING FOR OAK.
IT'S CALLED PAY DIRT MY FRIEND.
I GAVE THAT MAN MY YOUTH AND MY BEAUTY, AND NOW I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.
WELL WELL IF THE MAN MAKES THE LIVING, THE WOMAN SHOULD MAKE THE LIFE, WORTH LIVING.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME LUCILLE.
YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN US SIX MONTHS.
YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN US SIX MONTHS.
MY GOD, IT'S DAMP, ISN'T IT? YEA, IT HAD TO BE.
YOU KNOW LUCILLE KNOWS THINGS I HAVEN'T EVEN GUESS AT.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD SKIN SMOOTH AND FIRM.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT THAT'S LIKE, JACK? OH, YOU DON'T FORGET THAT STUFF.
IT HAD TO BE.
WE'RE THERE.
IT SOUNDS KIND OF SOLID FOR BULBS.
IT SOUNDS KIND OF SOLID FOR BULBS.
MY GOD.
JACK, MEET EMMA.
THIS BEGAN WITH A 6-INCH BLADE.
YOU ARE A MURDERER? YOU ARE A MURDERER? YOU GOT TWO CHOICES.
SEE THIS THROUGH, OR WALK OUT NOW.
I CAN'T LET YOU WALK OUT.
YOU'RE ENTITLED.
I CAN'T LET YOU WALK OUT.
YOU'RE ENTITLED.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE.
LUCILLE SAID THESE BULBS ARE PLANTED IN EMMA'S MOUTH.
THEY NEED LOTS OF MOON LIGHT.
WOULD YOU GET THAT STUMP? WOULD YOU GET THAT STUMP? MOVE BACK.
LUCILLE SAYS THIS HAPPENS FAST.
MOVE BACK.
LUCILLE SAYS THIS HAPPENS FAST.
EMMA.
LOOK AT THAT MOON.
LOOK AT THAT MOON.
THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US! HARRY KILLED HIS FIRST WIFE, AND HE BURIED HER OUT THERE.
THEY ARE BOTH CRAZY.
YES.
MOON MADNESS.
ARE YOU LISTENING? THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US.
I SAW WHAT YOU DID OUT THERE.
HARRY, YOU MURDERER.
JACK WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO? YOU GHOUL.
j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE, GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOUL j&j&j& I BELIEVED YOU THEN.
I BELIEVE YOU NOW.
WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? WHAT IS THIS FLOWER? JUKARUNDA, THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWER OF LOVE AND LIFE.
IF EVER IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO ME, NOW IS THE TIME.
SOMETHING INCREDIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY? EVERY THINGS TO INSIDE OUT AND BACKWARDS.
j&j& DIDDLE DI DI DIDDLE DI DI j&j& j&j& DIDDLE DI DIDDLE DI DIDDLE DI DI j&j&j&j& AFTER YOU, JAWS.
NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
HA HA HA! OH.
OH.
OH, EVERYONE'S JUST GONE CRAZY.
[GRR.]
[GRR.]
[RUFF.]
[GRR.]
OHH! [MOANING.]
[MOANING.]
LUCILLE! LUCILLE! LUCILLE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.
IS SHE GIVING US A PROBLEM? I THOUGHT YOU HANDLED IT.
GET YOUR MURDEROUS HANDS OFF ME.
NO! NO! [DOG BARKS.]
[DOG BARKS.]
OPEN THIS DOOR, YOU HAG! OPEN THE DOOR! OH, NO! OH, NO! j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE, GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOUL j&j&j&j& HA HA HA! HA HA HA! [GRR.]
[GRR.]
[HARRY.]
FOR THE SECOND DOSE.
[JACK.]
THANK YOU.
HARRY, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
KISS ME.
AS SOON AS YOU KISS EMMA.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
AAH! WHAT'S THAT? JUST AN OLD LADY LOST IN THE WOODS.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN OLD? WHAT DO YOU MEAN OLD? WHAT HAPPENED? I'M HAPPY.
NOW WE CAN TELL YOU WHY WE'RE HERE.
LUCILLE HAS A SECRET.
MY FATHER LEFT ME BULBS THAT HE BROUGHT FROM THE ISLANDS.
THEY HAVE SPECIAL POWERS.
I PLANTED THEM IN EMMA THREE MONTHS AGO.
WE NEEDED FERTILIZER.
THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY.
THAT'S WHY THE FLOWERS GREW SO QUICKLY BY THE MOONLIGHT, ONE FLOWER FOR EACH OF US.
LUCILLE DRANK THE SAP.
YOUR SKIN IS SO SMOOTH.
IT'S THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.
OH, NO, IT CAN'T BE.
THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE.
THAT'S WHY IT'S SO WONDERFUL.
OH! AND I THOUGHT HARRY WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU.
YOU HEARD LUCILLE TAKING ONE DOSE.
NEEDS TWO TO WORK.
BURNS GOING DOWN.
I PROMISE YOU, THE SECOND DOSE WILL BE EASIER.
THE INSECTICIDE.
j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE, GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& HA HA HA! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE MAGGOT BIOTIC GARBAGE NOW? HA HA HA! HARRY, JACK, YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.
OH! NOW WE CAN BE YOUNG AND HAPPY AGAIN.
WHEN WE MARRIED YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET.
I'VE LOOKED FORWARD TO THOSE DAYS AGAIN, CYNTHIA.
OH, SO DO I, JACK.
I WOULD LIKE A SECOND CHANCE.
I'M SURE YOU WOULD, BUT I'VE DONE MY TIME WITH YOU.
OF HARD LABOR.
I WON'T DO THAT TIME AGAIN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I AM-- YOU SON OF A I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING YOU WITHER, OLD CRONE.
TO WATCHING YOU WITHER, OLD CRONE.
YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
I KNOW WHERE THE REST OF IT IS.
I KNOW WHERE THE REST OF IT IS.
SHOULD WE LET HER DRINK IT? WITHOUT THE JUKARUNDA JUICE, SHE'LL JUST GET SICK TO HER STOMACH.
SHE'LL JUST GET SICK TO HER STOMACH.
THOSE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.
THOSE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.
OH, WILL YOU HOLD THIS FOR ME, PLEASE? OH, WILL YOU HOLD THIS FOR ME, PLEASE? THIS IS FOR YOU.
HA HA HA! AND THIS IS FOR YOU.
YES, NOW YES, NOW OOH! OOH! HERE'S A TOAST TO THE FUTURE.
FOR ALL THE BASE LIES THAT WE'VE BEEN TOLD, WHEN THERE'S LOVE IN OUR HEARTS, WE CAN NEVER GROW OLD.
HEAR, HEAR.
HEAR, HEAR.
HOW DOES IT FEEL? HA HA HA! HA HA HA! OW! AAH! [RETCHING.]
[MOANING.]
[MOANING.]
I THOUGHT I'D IMPROVE THE RECIPE.
I PUT IN A LITTLE VODKA.
NO.
YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT.
OH, BUT I DID.
[MOANING.]
BUT ONLY AFTER SAVING SOME OF THE PURE STUFF FOR MYSELF.
LUCILLE! AAH! [MOANING.]
[MOANING.]
YOU MISERABLE BASTARD! I HOPE IT HURTS WORSE THAN IT LOOKS! WORSE THAN IT LOOKS! YOU KNOW THE VIRGINING I'M GOING TO DO.
I'M GOING TO FIND MYSELF A REAL MAN.
A YOUNG ONE WITH BALLS, AND MONEY.
BITCH! BITCH! LUCILLE.
OH! OH! OH! OH! AH! OH! AAH! AAH! OH.
OH.
HA HA! HA HA! [GROWLING.]
[SNARLING.]
AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! MAN: I'M TELLING YOU THE CAMPSITE IS HERE SOMEWHERE.
WOMAN: I DON'T CARE WHERE THE CAMPSITE IS.
I DON'T CARE IF WE'RE LOST WHY DON'T WE PITCH THE TENT? MAN: BECAUSE THE CAMPSITE I'M LOOKING FOR IS REALLY SPECIAL.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE VIEW AT SUNRISE.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE VIEW AT SUNRISE.
JESUS CHRIST.
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT RV.
IF YOU GET THAT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY HOME.
SHH.
THEY'RE PROBABLY SLEEPING.
[DOG BARKS.]
OH, WHAT A CUTE DOG.
HI, LITTLE FELLOW.
THAT'S AN AWFUL BIG BONE FOR SOMEBODY SO LITTLE.
FOR SOMEBODY SO LITTLE.
THAT CYNTHIA'S A REALSHRIEKINGVIOLET, WOULDN'T YOU SAY, KIDDIES? A REGULARAFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY.
HA HA HA! DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A BORE SCOUT, DID YOU? WELL, I AM.
MY HORRORICULTURE SCARE IT BADGE REQUIRES ME TO PLANT CROCKCASSES.
HMM.
A SHAME REALLY.
I MUCH RATHER PLANT DIEBREEDS.
HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
[SHRIEK.]
AH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA! GERONIMO! [GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
SO GLAD YOU COULD DROP IN KILL SEEKERS.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME IT ONLY HURT WHEN I LAUGH.
HA HA HA HA HA! IT ONLY HURT WHEN I LAUGH.
HA HA HA HA HA! BOY THAT WAS GOOD! IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN HANG GLIDING.
IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN HANG GLIDING.
SOME FOLKS WOULD RATHER KEEP THEIR FEET ONTERRORFIRMA, LIKE THE PEOPLE IN TONIGHT'S PUTRID PIECE.
THEY'RE SPENDING A NICE QUIET WEEKEND IN THE WOODS GOINGHACKTO NATURE.
HA HA HA! I CALL THIS FETID FABLE CURIOSITY KILLED.
I CALL THIS FETID FABLE CURIOSITY KILLED.
[SLURP.]
[SLURP.]
[BURP.]
YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME.
HERE WE GO AGAIN, ANOTHER BITCH FIT.
LOOK AT THIS-- RUTABAGA, BOK-CHOI, DAIKON, TOFU, CELERY JUICE! CELERY JUICE! THIS ISN'T FOOD.
IT'S A COMPOST HEAP.
THAT'S THE BEST HEALTH FOOD HARRY AND I COULD FIND.
MADAM, BEHAVE YOURSELF, AND YOU'LL BE SURPRISED.
THIS WASN'T A PLANNED WEEKEND ON THE TOWN, AND YOU KNEW IT.
NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
YOU'RE GETTING OFF ON YOUR EMOTIONAL SKYROCKET.
YOU ARE BEING ABUSIVE.
YOU GET ME UP HERE, A HUNDRED MILES FROM CIVILIZATION-- AND I TOLD YOU THAT'S WHAT IT WOULD BE-- [RUFF RUFF.]
CONTROL YOURSELF.
YOU CONTROL YOURSELF.
THIS IS WHAT WE GOT.
THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL EAT.
I WANT REAL FOOD IN A REAL RESTAURANT, AND I-- THERE ISN'T A REAL RESTAURANT WITHIN A THREE-HOUR DRIVE.
I'M IN A DAMN SWAMP WITH NO FOOD BUT MY LIVER.
DON'T BITE ON THAT.
IT'S FULL OF BILE.
DON'T BITE ON THAT.
IT'S FULL OF BILE.
CYNTHIA, I'M WARNING YOU.
YOU PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, OR I SWEAR I'LL-- YOU'LL WHAT, HUH? AAH! OH, THESE DAMN BUGS.
OH, I NEVER EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE WANTED TO GO CAMPING.
I'M AN INDOORS GIRL.
BUT NO.
YOUR FRIEND HARRY WANTED TO GO CAMPING, SO WE-- [RUFF RUFF.]
HARRY EATS MAGGOT BIOTIC GARBAGE, SO WE HAVE TO STARVE.
YOU'RE MAKING A SPECTACLE OF YOURSELF.
YOU'VE GOT ME OUT HERE CAMPING.
I'M STARVING, AND I HATE IT.
GIVE ME THE CREDIT CARDS AND THE KEY.
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
THEY'RE MY CREDIT CARDS, TOO.
AAH! STUPID DOG.
I SHOULD HAVE HAD YOU BOTH PUT DOWN.
IF I HAVE TO DRIVE MYSELF, I'M GOING HOME.
NO, YOU WON'T.
YES, I WILL! YOU WILL NOT! YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH CIVILIZATION! AAH! I CAN'T WATCH THAT ANYMORE.
THE MOON'S SOON FULL.
IT WILL BE TIME.
I FEAR WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THESE PEOPLE KEEP FIGHTING.
THEY'VE KNOCKED EACH OTHER ABOUT FOR 45 YEARS.
HE'S MARRIED TO A CROCODILE.
HE'S MARRIED TO A CROCODILE.
DOES SHE REMIND YOU OF EMMA? EMMA WASN'T THAT BAD.
AND NEVER WILL BE AGAIN.
YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE INVITED THEM.
JACK SAVED MY LIFE.
IF HE HADN'T DRAGGED ME THROUGH A FIREFIGHT, I'D BE UNDER GUADALCANAL.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO REPAY HIM.
NOW I FINALLY CAN.
NO, NO, NO GOOD AT ALL.
[CYNTHIA.]
YOU KNOW WHAT? AS SOON AS WE GET BACK I HOPE YOU'RE HOME WHEN THE BILLS COME BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE-- WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER IF WE ALLOWED OURSELVES TO SUCCUMB TO THE BEAUTY OF THIS PEACEFUL PLACE? WHAT? I CAN SMELL JASMINE.
IN THE ISLAND WHERE MY FAMILY LIVE, WE HAD A GROVE LIKE THIS, WHERE WE'D SIT ON THE STUMPS OF TREES AND LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF SILENCE.
I COULD DO WITH SILENCE.
LET IT BEGIN WITH YOU.
DIGLYCERIDES.
DIGLYCERIDES? WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE? IT MIGHT BE PARTLY GENETIC, IN WHICH CASE IT'S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.
YOU COULD USE MORE YELLOW VEGETABLES IN YOUR DIET.
MORE MAGGOT BIOTIC STUFF? LUCILLE.
PLEASE STOP STIRRING THAT STUFF.
IT'S MAKING ME QUITE SICK.
THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL MIXTURE OF HERBS.
IT WILL DO WONDERFUL THINGS.
NAME ONE.
NAME ONE.
IT'S A NATURAL INSECTICIDE.
IT REPELS WITHOUT KILLING.
WORKS VERY WELL, I CAN SEE.
HARRY, SORRY ABOUT THE DISTURBANCE.
WHAT ARE YOU APOLOGIZING TO HIM FOR? HE SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO US.
HE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO ME.
CYNTHIA, PLEASE! KEEP ON LIKE THIS, YOU'LL KILL ME.
TO KILL YOU, I WOULDN'T USE WORDS.
I'D DO IT LITTLE BY LITTLE.
FIRST I'D CUT OFF YOUR DICK.
FIRST I'D CUT OFF YOUR DICK.
WHAT THE HELL.
YOU HAVEN'T USED THE THING IN 20 YEARS.
WHAT THE HELL.
YOU HAVEN'T USED THE THING IN 20 YEARS.
NO.
NO.
NO, I HAVEN'T, HAVE I? HAVE I? SOMETIMES THAT MAN JUST GETS THE BEST OF ME.
SOMETIMES THAT MAN JUST GETS THE BEST OF ME.
DON'T DO IT, JACK.
DON'T DO IT.
SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THIS, YOU CAN'T DRINK.
ONE DROP OF THIS, AND EVERYTHING GOES THE WRONG WAY.
I TRIED.
I TRIED SO DAMN HARD, HARRY.
I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE.
WHEN EMMA WAS THIS WAY, I ALMOST DROPPED HER.
WHEN EMMA WAS THIS WAY, I ALMOST DROPPED HER.
THAT'S A HELL OF AN IDEA.
CYNTHIA AND HER LAWYERS WOULD BE IN ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHAT WILL YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO? ONE NIGHT WHEN WE WERE CAMPING NOT FAR FROM HERE, SHE WANDERED OFF FROM THE CAMPSITE.
WE SEARCHED FOR DAYS.
MM-HMM.
NEVER FOUND HER.
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT, I'M BEHIND YOU.
I'M BEHIND YOU.
I JUST HEARD SOMETHING VERY STRANGE.
I JUST HEARD SOMETHING VERY STRANGE.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.
THE MOON WILL BE VERY CLEAR TONIGHT.
THE MOON WILL BE VERY CLEAR TONIGHT.
AND THAT IS GOOD.
AND THAT IS GOOD.
HOW DEEP DO WE HAVE TO DIG? NOT VERY.
I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE MYSELF.
I AM A MAN WHO'S LIVED A LONG LIFE, A REALISTIC BUSINESSMAN WHO THINKS HE'S SEEN IT ALL, AND I'M ON MY KNEES AT NIGHT IN A SWAMP.
AND I'M ON MY KNEES AT NIGHT IN A SWAMP.
DIGGING FOR OAK.
IT'S CALLED PAY DIRT MY FRIEND.
I GAVE THAT MAN MY YOUTH AND MY BEAUTY, AND NOW I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.
WELL WELL IF THE MAN MAKES THE LIVING, THE WOMAN SHOULD MAKE THE LIFE, WORTH LIVING.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME LUCILLE.
YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN US SIX MONTHS.
YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN US SIX MONTHS.
MY GOD, IT'S DAMP, ISN'T IT? YEA, IT HAD TO BE.
YOU KNOW LUCILLE KNOWS THINGS I HAVEN'T EVEN GUESS AT.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD SKIN SMOOTH AND FIRM.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT THAT'S LIKE, JACK? OH, YOU DON'T FORGET THAT STUFF.
IT HAD TO BE.
WE'RE THERE.
IT SOUNDS KIND OF SOLID FOR BULBS.
IT SOUNDS KIND OF SOLID FOR BULBS.
MY GOD.
JACK, MEET EMMA.
THIS BEGAN WITH A 6-INCH BLADE.
YOU ARE A MURDERER? YOU ARE A MURDERER? YOU GOT TWO CHOICES.
SEE THIS THROUGH, OR WALK OUT NOW.
I CAN'T LET YOU WALK OUT.
YOU'RE ENTITLED.
I CAN'T LET YOU WALK OUT.
YOU'RE ENTITLED.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE.
LUCILLE SAID THESE BULBS ARE PLANTED IN EMMA'S MOUTH.
THEY NEED LOTS OF MOON LIGHT.
WOULD YOU GET THAT STUMP? WOULD YOU GET THAT STUMP? MOVE BACK.
LUCILLE SAYS THIS HAPPENS FAST.
MOVE BACK.
LUCILLE SAYS THIS HAPPENS FAST.
EMMA.
LOOK AT THAT MOON.
LOOK AT THAT MOON.
THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US! HARRY KILLED HIS FIRST WIFE, AND HE BURIED HER OUT THERE.
THEY ARE BOTH CRAZY.
YES.
MOON MADNESS.
ARE YOU LISTENING? THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US.
I SAW WHAT YOU DID OUT THERE.
HARRY, YOU MURDERER.
JACK WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INTO? YOU GHOUL.
j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE, GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOUL j&j&j& I BELIEVED YOU THEN.
I BELIEVE YOU NOW.
WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? WHAT IS THIS FLOWER? JUKARUNDA, THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWER OF LOVE AND LIFE.
IF EVER IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO ME, NOW IS THE TIME.
SOMETHING INCREDIBLE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY? EVERY THINGS TO INSIDE OUT AND BACKWARDS.
j&j& DIDDLE DI DI DIDDLE DI DI j&j& j&j& DIDDLE DI DIDDLE DI DIDDLE DI DI j&j&j&j& AFTER YOU, JAWS.
NOT ON YOUR LIFE.
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
HA HA HA! OH.
OH.
OH, EVERYONE'S JUST GONE CRAZY.
[GRR.]
[GRR.]
[RUFF.]
[GRR.]
OHH! [MOANING.]
[MOANING.]
LUCILLE! LUCILLE! LUCILLE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER? I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING.
IS SHE GIVING US A PROBLEM? I THOUGHT YOU HANDLED IT.
GET YOUR MURDEROUS HANDS OFF ME.
NO! NO! [DOG BARKS.]
[DOG BARKS.]
OPEN THIS DOOR, YOU HAG! OPEN THE DOOR! OH, NO! OH, NO! j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE, GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& j&j& GHOULIE GHOUL j&j&j&j& HA HA HA! HA HA HA! [GRR.]
[GRR.]
[HARRY.]
FOR THE SECOND DOSE.
[JACK.]
THANK YOU.
HARRY, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
KISS ME.
AS SOON AS YOU KISS EMMA.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
AAH! WHAT'S THAT? JUST AN OLD LADY LOST IN THE WOODS.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN OLD? WHAT DO YOU MEAN OLD? WHAT HAPPENED? I'M HAPPY.
NOW WE CAN TELL YOU WHY WE'RE HERE.
LUCILLE HAS A SECRET.
MY FATHER LEFT ME BULBS THAT HE BROUGHT FROM THE ISLANDS.
THEY HAVE SPECIAL POWERS.
I PLANTED THEM IN EMMA THREE MONTHS AGO.
WE NEEDED FERTILIZER.
THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY.
THAT'S WHY THE FLOWERS GREW SO QUICKLY BY THE MOONLIGHT, ONE FLOWER FOR EACH OF US.
LUCILLE DRANK THE SAP.
YOUR SKIN IS SO SMOOTH.
IT'S THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.
OH, NO, IT CAN'T BE.
THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE.
THAT'S WHY IT'S SO WONDERFUL.
OH! AND I THOUGHT HARRY WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU.
YOU HEARD LUCILLE TAKING ONE DOSE.
NEEDS TWO TO WORK.
BURNS GOING DOWN.
I PROMISE YOU, THE SECOND DOSE WILL BE EASIER.
THE INSECTICIDE.
j&j& GHOULIE GHOULIE, GHOULIE GHOULIE j&j& HA HA HA! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE MAGGOT BIOTIC GARBAGE NOW? HA HA HA! HARRY, JACK, YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.
OH! NOW WE CAN BE YOUNG AND HAPPY AGAIN.
WHEN WE MARRIED YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET.
I'VE LOOKED FORWARD TO THOSE DAYS AGAIN, CYNTHIA.
OH, SO DO I, JACK.
I WOULD LIKE A SECOND CHANCE.
I'M SURE YOU WOULD, BUT I'VE DONE MY TIME WITH YOU.
OF HARD LABOR.
I WON'T DO THAT TIME AGAIN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I AM-- YOU SON OF A I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO WATCHING YOU WITHER, OLD CRONE.
TO WATCHING YOU WITHER, OLD CRONE.
YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
I KNOW WHERE THE REST OF IT IS.
I KNOW WHERE THE REST OF IT IS.
SHOULD WE LET HER DRINK IT? WITHOUT THE JUKARUNDA JUICE, SHE'LL JUST GET SICK TO HER STOMACH.
SHE'LL JUST GET SICK TO HER STOMACH.
THOSE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.
THOSE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.
OH, WILL YOU HOLD THIS FOR ME, PLEASE? OH, WILL YOU HOLD THIS FOR ME, PLEASE? THIS IS FOR YOU.
HA HA HA! AND THIS IS FOR YOU.
YES, NOW YES, NOW OOH! OOH! HERE'S A TOAST TO THE FUTURE.
FOR ALL THE BASE LIES THAT WE'VE BEEN TOLD, WHEN THERE'S LOVE IN OUR HEARTS, WE CAN NEVER GROW OLD.
HEAR, HEAR.
HEAR, HEAR.
HOW DOES IT FEEL? HA HA HA! HA HA HA! OW! AAH! [RETCHING.]
[MOANING.]
[MOANING.]
I THOUGHT I'D IMPROVE THE RECIPE.
I PUT IN A LITTLE VODKA.
NO.
YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT.
OH, BUT I DID.
[MOANING.]
BUT ONLY AFTER SAVING SOME OF THE PURE STUFF FOR MYSELF.
LUCILLE! AAH! [MOANING.]
[MOANING.]
YOU MISERABLE BASTARD! I HOPE IT HURTS WORSE THAN IT LOOKS! WORSE THAN IT LOOKS! YOU KNOW THE VIRGINING I'M GOING TO DO.
I'M GOING TO FIND MYSELF A REAL MAN.
A YOUNG ONE WITH BALLS, AND MONEY.
BITCH! BITCH! LUCILLE.
OH! OH! OH! OH! AH! OH! AAH! AAH! OH.
OH.
HA HA! HA HA! [GROWLING.]
[SNARLING.]
AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! MAN: I'M TELLING YOU THE CAMPSITE IS HERE SOMEWHERE.
WOMAN: I DON'T CARE WHERE THE CAMPSITE IS.
I DON'T CARE IF WE'RE LOST WHY DON'T WE PITCH THE TENT? MAN: BECAUSE THE CAMPSITE I'M LOOKING FOR IS REALLY SPECIAL.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE VIEW AT SUNRISE.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE VIEW AT SUNRISE.
JESUS CHRIST.
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT RV.
IF YOU GET THAT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY HOME.
SHH.
THEY'RE PROBABLY SLEEPING.
[DOG BARKS.]
OH, WHAT A CUTE DOG.
HI, LITTLE FELLOW.
THAT'S AN AWFUL BIG BONE FOR SOMEBODY SO LITTLE.
FOR SOMEBODY SO LITTLE.
THAT CYNTHIA'S A REALSHRIEKINGVIOLET, WOULDN'T YOU SAY, KIDDIES? A REGULARAFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY.
HA HA HA! DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A BORE SCOUT, DID YOU? WELL, I AM.
MY HORRORICULTURE SCARE IT BADGE REQUIRES ME TO PLANT CROCKCASSES.
HMM.
A SHAME REALLY.
I MUCH RATHER PLANT DIEBREEDS.
HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF