The Twilight Zone (1959) s04e14 Episode Script
Of Late I Think of Cliffordville (60 min)
You unlock this door with the key of imagination.
Beyond it is another dimension- a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind.
You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.
I have an appointment with mr.
Feathersmith.
Oh, yes, mr.
Deidrich, he's expecting you, sir.
Right this way.
Oh, wow.
I could just see him now.
That big, happy grin on his face just before he draws the blood.
"Have a cigar, mr.
Deidrich, before i rip you to pieces.
"But i must have my little fun first.
Have a cigar.
" Have a cigar, mr.
Deidrich.
Thank you, no, mr.
Feathersmith.
You asked me to come here at 2:00; it is now 2:00.
What did you have on your mind? Hmm, you never have cared for my habits have you, mr.
Deidrich? Whether i do or don't is not at issue, mr.
Feathersmith.
But the extent of time you keep me here is, on the other hand, of considerable import.
I'm a busy man, let's get on with it.
We've come a pretty far route, haven't we, the two of us? So? So, it's odd how our lives seem to crisscross back and forth.
I owe you a great deal, mr.
Deidrich, i really do.
I remember vividly one afternoon when you called me into your office, and said: "Bill feathersmith, i like your style, boy.
I want you in with me.
" You remember that afternoon, mr.
Deidrich? I shall never forget it.
I have given it a good deal of thought in the ensuing years and shall never cease to regret it.
You never did like me.
I wouldn't say that, mr.
Feathersmith.
I wouldn't say that i never did like you.
I have disliked and detested you with great cordiality.
I have found you to be from the moment you came into my office a predatory, grasping conniving, acquisitive animal of a man.
Without heart, without conscience without compassion.
Without even a subtle hint of the common decencies.
Shall we go on from there? I give you this, mr.
Deidrich: You never were one to toady around with phony euphemisms.
You always did speak your mind.
And you, mr.
Feathersmith, this is perhaps the singular compliment i can dredge up: You've always been a man to speak yours.
So why don't you? All right, then.
I'll dopreciselythat.
This is my empire, mr.
Deidrich.
Mining, steel, electronics, lumber, railroads, minerals, manufacturing it's been a step-by-step, piece-by-piece building up of an industrial complex that i take pardonable pride in.
But there is one piece missing.
That is to say, therewas one piece missing the deidrich tool and die company employing 13,000 men.
A good and substantial plant in operation some 40 years.
Not always perfectly managed, but adequately managed.
Sufficiently well-managed to make you move heaven and earth to try to buy it on the first monday of each month.
But thank heaven i won't live to see the day when you stick your greasy-ham fists into it.
You call it well-managed.
You're speaking comparatively, of course.
I'm speaking of that little matter of your financial problems.
I happen to know for a fact that you secured a loan for $3 million a loan payable on demand.
Here is the note.
I bought up that note, mr.
Deidrich.
I paid an exorbitant amount of money for it more than it was worth.
But it was, well, shall i say, an excellent opportunity- an opportunity for our lives to crisscross again.
So, to the point: It reads, "payable on demand.
" So, mr.
Deidrich, on demand, it is.
I am calling this note.
I want it paid $3 million not tomorrow not this evening around suppertime now, mr.
Deidrich, this moment! I want your personal check in that amount or i'll have to send a few sign painters out to the deidrich tool and die company and have them cross off the name deidrich! Feathersmith if you call that note you'll bankrupt me.
You'll kill off everything i have.
Everything i own everything.
Witness a murder.
The killer is mr.
William feathersmith, a robber baron whose body composition is made up of a refrigeration plant covered by thick skin.
In a moment, mr.
Feathersmith will proceed in his daily course of conquest and calumny with yet another business dealing.
But this will be one of those bizarre transactions that take place in an odd marketplace known as the twilight zone.
Miss pepper, miss pepper! Yes, sir? Take me down, young man.
Take me all the way down if there's anyplace lower than this floor.
Excuse me, sir, uh, i didn't know you were here.
Well, i am here, lafayette.
I am most assuredly here.
Andhereis the mountaintop.
High rung on the ladder, way up on the mountaintop.
Like, now, what let's see, what was his name genghis khan? Genghis khan feathersmith? What's the matter with me? Who are you, anyway? Hecate, sir, custodian of the top three floors.
And so, you're hecate, custodian of the top three floors, hmm? You have a drink, hecate, custodian of the top three floors.
Thank you, no sir, but i appreciate that.
Tell me, how long have you been performing this illustrious task? I've been in this building for 34 years.
I got a got a gold watch last year.
A gold watch Your aggressive self-assurance unnerves me, hecate.
That's practically as long as i've been in the building.
But i didn't start here, hecate.
No, indeed, i started in a little town called cliffordville.
Cliffordville, indiana.
You ever hear of it, hecate? It's a coincidence, sir, i was born in cliffordville.
I grew up there.
Well, well, well, we're very much alike.
Both from cliffordville we both put on our pants one leg at a time and there, the similarity ends.
Cliffordville, hmm? Well, that was areal town, wasn't it, hecate? A real place.
When a man could go up to the moon if he had a mind to and the legs to carry him and fingers to stretch out and grasp.
Hmm, not like now.
Hmm no not like now at all.
Genghis khan feathersmith, hmm.
Alexander the great feathersmith.
I've got everything there is to get but i'm still hungry.
He cried because he had no more worlds to conquer.
What? That was alexander the great.
He cried because he had no more worlds to conquer.
I guess i guess maybe he was kind of like you, mr.
Feathersmith.
You know something, hecate? I wish i could go back to cliffordville and begin again, i mean start all over.
You see, getting it, that was the kick getting it, not having it.
Good night, mr.
Hecate, custodian of the top three floors.
Don't forget to wind your gold watch.
Just one minute.
You left me off at the wrong floor.
This isn't the lobby.
How do you do, sir? Who are you? Devlin, first name's not important.
I own this building.
I'm aware of that, mr.
Feathersmith.
I'm aware of that, but i'm not aware of you having an office here, whoever you are.
Oh, i just opened it up.
As a matter of fact i've opened it foryourconvenience.
Won't you sit down? Why? Why, because, we've got some business to transact, you and i.
And there's no reason why we shouldn't be comfortable.
Go on, mr.
Feathersmith, you were saying? Hmm? Oh, the name of the town was cliffordville.
Ah, yes, cliffordville.
And it was a pleasant town? Of course it was pleasant.
It was better than pleasant.
There was a girl there, name of gibbons.
Father was president of the bank.
Beautiful girl.
And you enjoyed this, didn't you, mr.
Feathersmith? I didn't have time to enjoy anything.
I worked! Worked! I dug, i scratched, i pushed, i drove.
I went up up! You understand that? And now you're up.
You're all the way up.
And you're simply bored.
That's what you are, mr.
Feathersmith, plain bored.
It's worse than bored.
I'm ruthless now.
I just have no purpose, no plans.
I have no drive because there's no place to go.
What about this stuff on your door? A very succinct suggestion of the services i render, mr.
Feathersmith travel time travel.
Miss devlin let's you and i talk something over.
Indeed, mr.
Feathersmith i had intended that we should.
Let me suggest a possible transaction.
You say you're bored, you've got everything you want.
The pleasure's not in the possession it's in the desperate struggle to possess.
That's the sense of it, isn't it, mr.
Feathersmith? Go on.
Let's do this: Let's send you back to cliffordville the cliffordville of years ago.
You can start all over again.
Acquire, build, consolidate- how does that sound? Miss devlin, you are not dealing with a fool now.
I am not one of your "sell your soul for a nickel" country bumpkins.
Try this.
Send me back in time to cliffordville.
But i want to look exactly as i did then that's number one.
Agreed.
Number two: I want to have a memory of everything that's occurred in the last 50 years.
I don't want that memory impaired one bit! Check again, mr.
Feathersmith.
I want that town exactly as it was with the same people that i remember.
Allveryeasily arranged.
Anything else? I want it to happen right away.
Time is of absolutely no essence.
You name the hour that is the hour you shall have.
Now, as to the price.
Yes, mr.
Feathersmith, as to price.
Well, i suppose thestandardpayment is, um, well, i guess you'd call it the soul.
On occasion, mr.
Feathersmith that is part of the transaction.
But in your case, we got a hold of your soul some time ago, i believe.
Let me check this.
Ah, here it is.
There was the crash of the trans-mississippi debentures, the company you'd bought and then manipulated.
You ruined several hundred people with that chicanery.
There were four suicides as a result.
I believe the bulk of your soul went over to us shortly thereafter.
There are several other items here under private life, volume nine.
Business transactions subconscious thoughts and dreams.
Ah, here we are indirect murders.
People you drove to ruin and poverty hopelessness, ultimate death.
No, mr.
Feathersmith, i'm afraid your soul is not yours to negotiate.
Then whatdoyou charge? Cash.
The long green leaf lettuce currency.
I have your current assets tabulated here.
Were you to liquidate as of this moment you'd be worth precisely $36,891,412.
14.
You're very thorough.
We have to be thorough, mr.
Feathersmith.
Now, the cost for what you ask is nominal.
The entire cost, and that includes transportation back, clothing, retaining of your memory, maintenance of the town in its historically accurate form including its citizenry is, uh, $36,890,000 leaving you a balance of $1,412.
14.
You robber! Mr.
Feathersmith, $1,412.
14 is quite a little nest egg, considering oh, perhaps, miss devlin, perhaps, considering i know where the oil is just outside of town.
Ah, that's 1400 acres not discovered until, uh, let's see, it was 1937 when they brought in the first well.
And i know the nature of the stock market- which stocks will rise, which stocks will fall.
I know every invention that's been perfected in the last 50 years.
I can get in on the ground floor.
The ground floor? Why, the basement, sir.
$1,412.
14 is a fortune.
Good, when do i start, how soon? I can handle the liquidation for you.
Just sign this power of attorney and there's no reason why you can't leave immediately.
Anything else? I think not.
I think i might be able to sweeten the pot a bit for you.
This very attractive banker's daughter, for example.
I could fix that up for you most handily.
Do away with a traditional lengthy courtship the ritualistic formalities of the time.
No, forget it.
I'm going to work for everything.
That's the fun of it, that's the kick! I'm going to work for everything! You just send me back with the 1,400-odd bucks and watchmysmoke, sister! Ha, exemplary, mr.
Feathersmith, really exemplary.
You're one of the few remaining rugged individualists of our time.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
Now, good-bye.
You'll arrive in cliffordville at noon tomorrow.
That's noon of the year 1910.
And needless to say, mr.
Feathersmith, i wish for you everything that you deserve.
Little lady, you don't have to wish anything for me.
I get everything i go after, everything! I believe you, mr.
Feathersmith.
I have no doubt whatsoever.
This is your captain speaking.
We are crossing the indiana state line.
For those of you who are interested we have just gained an hour.
Cliffordville.
This stop is cliffordville.
Cliffordville.
The devil, you say.
All aboard.
Twilight zonewill continue after station identification.
What's the matter, can't you pave the roads around here? Hey, van winkle.
You want something, sir? Yeah, something.
That yellow flag bit what's the holiday? Oh, them? Yes, them.
Typhoid flags; they got typhoid over there.
Typhoid? Haven't those idiots ever heard of innocu oh, no, they haven't, have they? No, not this year.
Well, go back to sleep, rip, i'll wake you when i need you.
Huh.
That's old man hecate! You got a great future, jack.
A great future.
I beg your pardon, sir.
Mr.
Deidrich, isn't it? You, uh, have the advantage, sir.
Yes, i do indeed.
But we'll get into that later on.
Wonderful having this little chat.
Sit down, mr.
, uh mr.
Feathersmith.
I'll only be a moment, sir.
This is my lunch hour and i never let business interfere with pleasure.
And i never let pleasure interfere with business.
The name is feathersmith.
I'm not a peddler, drummer, or door-to-door salesman.
I'm here to make myself rich.
In the process, you can lick up a few crumbs.
I beg your pardon? The widow turner's land, is it available? The widow turner's land? There were Is there an echo here or would it help if i hired an interpreter? No, indeed, mr.
Feathersmith, no, indeed, it's just that, uh, well, sir, you're talking about a very valuable piece of property.
I'm talking about widow turner's land, south end of town.
Indeed, indeed, beautiful spot.
lovely acres.
Singing birds and constant sunshine.
It's a garden of eden for a man with vision and the potential is unlimited.
It's a swamp for mosquitoes and the potential is malaria.
Tell me who owns it and how much they want for it.
Well, as a matter of fact, that land was purchased from the estate of the late mrs.
Turner by yours truly in partnership with a mr.
Sebastian deidrich here in town.
We each own half of it.
Deidrich, huh? Well, do you suppose that you and mr.
Deidrich could bepersuaded to part with it assuming the price is within reason? Well, as valuable as that land is, uh well, sir, uh, everything has its price.
How does $4.
00 an acre sound to you? Lovely fine.
If i were an idiot.
But i am not an idiot, mr.
Gibbons.
I'll give you Why don't we strike toward a compromise and say $3.
00? Let's say 75 cents.
You're a driver of a hard bargain, mr.
Feathersmith.
However, both myself and mr.
Deidrich might hold still for, uh $2.
00 an acre.
Hmm.
Mr.
Gibbons, you wouldn't hold still for a back rub if you couldn't convert it into currency.
One buck an acre, and that's it.
A dollar an acre, you say? All right, a dollar an acre, i say.
And in eight seconds, it'll go down to 80 cents.
Going going gone, mr.
Feathersmith.
And i presume this will be a cash transaction? You just bring the deeds to my hotel tonight properly signed and notarized and i'll have your money.
Well, now, sir, this is the way i like to have a transaction.
No fiddling around.
Just two staunch men of goodwill who know what they want.
Don't you agree, mr.
Feathersmith? I agree with you right down the line, mr.
Gibbons assuming both your hands are visible.
And i amnota widow or an orphan.
You have a daughter, mr.
Gibbons.
Why why, yes.
Oh, do you mind? Oh, no, please joanna is her name.
Yes.
And as pretty a slice of peach pie as ever went on a hayride.
Mr.
Feathersmith, that you're being insulting.
No, mr.
Gibbons, i am not being insulting.
I am being candid, i am speaking my mind.
I know what i like, and i ask for it and i generally get it.
Now, let's meet this little doll.
So i told daddy when he told me that you were downstairs, i said, "it's about time we had a sophisticated man in this town.
" Didn't i say that, daddy? Oh, have another bon-bon, mr.
Feathersmith.
Uh, no.
Oh, they're delicious.
Mm.
This one's a cream.
Mm, a real good cream.
Oh, i just love cream.
Don't you like cream, mr.
Feathersmith? Oh, well oh, i love them.
They're just goodie-goodie.
Well, anyway, when it was july, we all went to my aunt bertha's in maine.
Have you ever been to maine, mr.
Feathersmith? Uh i love swimming.
I just adore the ocean.
I'm the best swimmer in my class, huh, daddy? Have another bon-bon, mr.
Feathersmith.
No thank you.
They're goodie-goodie.
Hmm? Oh, oh.
Wh-why don't you sing for us, joanna? I'm sure mr.
Feathersmith would love that.
Oh, i think he'd be bored with music on this hot afternoon.
Wouldn't you, mr.
Feathersmith? Oh, well, if you insist.
? every little movement has a meaning all its own? ? every thought and feeling? ? by some posture can be shown? ? and every love song that comes a-stealing? ? o'er your being must be revealing? ? all its sweetness? Ah, you, uh you don't have another daughter? That delightful little thing is my one and only.
Sings beautifully, doesn't she? Oh, yes, like a bird.
A ruptured rooster.
Well, you're right on time, mr.
Feathersmith.
I always am.
Hmm, i don't believe you two gentlemen have met.
This is mr.
Deidrich.
And this is mr.
Feathersmith, mr.
Deidrich.
I presume you brought cash, mr.
Feathersmith? here is $1,403.
You, uh, you seem to put all your eggs in one basket, mr.
Feathersmith.
I wouldn't let that concern you, mr.
Deidrich.
You see, i have an exclusive contract with the hen.
Beers all around.
Well, gentlemen shall we get down to cases? When it comes to a fast shuffle you're involved with a very knowledgeable dealer.
Comment, mr.
Deidrich? Ah, you have the floor, mr.
Feathersmith.
You seem anxious to have it.
It's just a human frailty i mean, to gloat just a bit when one has just skinned a couple of professional skinners.
Which incidentally, is what i've done to you.
A buck an acre, and you're sitting here thinking that whenthispigeon flew into town you plucked him bald.
I sent a telegram to a geologist.
He arrived on the 4:00 train.
He spent the day out at the widow turner's land made some preliminary soil tests.
Care to hear the results? Feel free, mr.
Feathersmith.
I'll oblige, mr.
Deidrich.
That crummy swampland you sold me for a buck an acre is worth half a million times that.
There's oil on that land mr.
Gibbons, mr.
Deidrich- oil, black gold.
There's enough oil in that land to produce 500 barrels of oil a day for the next 1000 years.
And you sold it to me for a buck an acre! I swear, i could almost feel sorry for you.
Well, uh, maybe you don't understand.
We understand you, mr.
Feathersmith.
I saidoil! Oil, yes, yes.
Well, how's that for a small shocker to end the day? Well, at the time, it made us gulp a bit, too.
At the time? Four years ago, the first geological tests were made and we were told about the oil.
Four years ago! Indeed, there were samples taken of the soil at that time, too.
There was never any doubt that the land had oil under it.
mr.
Feathersmith, which means it might just as well be on the moon.
The moon? The oil can't be taken out of the ground.
It just can't be taken out.
What do you mean, it can't be taken out? You could drill down five miles if you needed to.
Well, youcould perhaps, but nobody else on earth could.
And at that, you'd better get up off that seat and inventing some new kind of a drill.
Of course, i i forgot.
It was 1937 when they when they uh, problem, mr.
Feathersmith? Not feeling too well? Something, uh, a little queasy, perhaps? Oh, it's something i ate, i think.
Something you ate, no doubt like, uh, likecrow, mr.
Feathersmith? Mr.
Cronk, this here is mr.
, uh mr.
, uh feathersmith.
Mr.
Feathersmith says he'd like to talk to us about i guess you'd call it "inventions.
" What kind of inventions? It's something that'll turn this two-bit tool shed into a factory.
A self-starter.
You want to enlarge on that, mr.
Feathersmith? What do you mean, enlarge on it? It's a thing you press with your foot that starts an engine with an electric motor.
Well, uh, what's it used for? What's it used for? It's used to make What goes into it? Are you all there? It's a storage battery, a motor it's a gillhookey that starts the motor.
I've given you the principle all you have to do is build it.
Make me a set of blueprints and specifications and i'll build it.
Look, i am not a crummy draftsman or a two-bit blueprint man.
I'm a promoter, a financier.
I'm going to give you the backing i've given you the principle all you have to do is build it.
Not without blueprints, specifications.
Now, what was the other stuff? Other stuff what isn't there? There's everything.
There's everything under the sun.
And you rube sit around here fixing tricycle pedals.
There's radio.
There's television.
Plastics ever here of aluminum? Aluminum airplanes? You foggy-headed carriage builders, we could make ourselves $8 billion! Sure.
Of course we could.
Wait there's nothing standing in our way.
All it takes is just a little imagination.
Just a little drive.
Let's talk it over.
Let's see what appeals to you.
Uh, what appeals to me? Well, uh how about a nice, handsome perpetual motion machine.
What's it used for? To make 200 million bucks, that's what it's used for.
Listen, are you all there? It's a storage battery, a motor it's a gillhookey that starts the motor.
I've given you the principle, all you have to do is build it.
Now, look, i am not a crummy draftsman or a two-bit blueprint man.
I'm a promoter, a financier.
I'm going to give you the backing.
I've already given you the principle, now all you have to do is build it.
There's everything, everything under the sun, and you rube, you sit around here fixing tricycle pedals.
There's radio, there's television plastics ever hear of aluminum? Aluminum airplanes you foggy-headed carriage builders! We could make ourselves $8 million.
Jesus, this place the goals of a 75-year-old man she, she didn't change me inside tha that's why i've been so tired why, why i can't function, why i, i can't operate.
That's why i can't make out because inside, i'm already the way i was well, mr.
Feathersmith.
Why, mr.
Feathersmith, dear boy, you look out of sorts flagging, peaked, drooping, and not at all well.
You miserable, you now, let's be fair about this, mr.
Feathersmith, and let's be reasoning and rational and thoughtful.
I'm a 75-year-old man.
Discerning of you.
Nothing was mentioned, mr.
Feathersmith, about changing yourchronologicalage.
You said you wanted to look 30 which is precisely the way you look.
We said nothing about your insides your heart, your veins, your kidneys, your bladder just your appearance.
That was all that was touched upon in the contract.
But this place this town hmm, indeed.
You wanted it as it was.
That was a specific clause in the contract.
It's really not my fault your memory is so imperfect.
As to the possibilities of investments well, you knew that oil wasn't reached until 1937.
Your problem is that you leaped before you looked.
But, but everything else everything else was wrong the girl the deals inventions, stocks, bonds, everything it didn't work.
It just it just simply didn't work.
Of course it didn't.
Of course, because you, mr.
Feathersmith, are a wheeler and a dealer, a financier, a pusher a brain, a manipulator a raider.
Because you are a taker, instead of a builder.
A conniver, instead of a designer.
A user instead of a bringer.
Well, mr.
Feathersmith, you are what is commonly referred to as being behind the old eight-ball.
Look, look, i don't want much.
Send me back.
Send me back to 1963, back to where i was.
That's all i want, i swear to you.
That's all i want.
You understand, of course that icansend you back to 1963.
But it will be a 1963 predicated on what's occurred in the past 24 hours.
I don't care, i don't care.
I think i might be able to arrange putting you back in your own time.
But, mind you, mr.
Feathersmith, this is nothing more nor less than a gesture of sympathy.
Ooh, hurts me to mouth the word.
But frankly, you are such a totally abject unhappy-looking creature, that i can't find it in my, uh, wherever you find the heart to leave you here.
There's a train out of here at midnight, a special train.
Oh, bless you, miss devlin.
I'll never forget i swear to you, i'll never forget.
There is a small surcharge, mr.
Feathersmith.
A surcharge? $40.
$40? Things docost.
I, i don't have $40.
I don't, i don't have five dollars.
How about that? This is your night.
You have two negotiable items.
All you need do is liquidate them.
But, but but who would buy them? That i wouldn't know mr.
Feathersmith.
But you what'll i do, what'll i do? You've got about ten seconds.
Find yourself a customer.
It's as simple as that.
Here, hecate! Hecate! Here, it's a bargain! Constant sunshine, singing birds all aboard! Please, it's a bargain! Hurry, it's yours for 40 bucks! Yes, you want something? Oh, i was going to clean up, mr.
Hecate.
All right, clean up.
Hmm, marvelous old place.
Really great old town.
Uh, sir? Cliffordville.
Cliffordville, indiana.
I grew up there, got my start there.
Oh, that, that's a coincidence, sir.
I grew up there.
Name is feathersmith.
Hmm.
Well, how similar we are, mr.
Feathersmith.
We both came from cliffordville.
We both put on our pants one leg at a time.
And here we wind up in the same building each with his own particular function, huh? Oh, oh, yes, sir, each with our particular function.
Oh, they, they they gave me a, a watch.
Four years ago.
It was on the 40th anniversary as custodian.
Well, now, maybe for the next 40 years if you really apply yourself, mr.
Feathersmith, i'll buy you a fob.
Mr.
William j.
Feathersmith, tycoon.
Who tried the track one more time and found it muddier than he remembered.
Proving with at least a degree of conclusiveness that nice guys don't always finish last.
And some people should quit when they're ahead.
Tonight's tale of iron men and irony delivered f.
o.
b.
From the twilight zone.
On our next excursion into the twilight zone we borrow an imposing array of talent and call in the services of a distinguished author named reginald rose, and some exceptionally fine acting talent in the persons of mr.
Pat hingle, miss nan martin and miss ruth white.
They appear in a story called "the incredible world of horace ford.
" And it's an incredible world indeed.
Harvey bender? Who's harvey bender? What's the matter? Just stop it.
He was one of the kids last night.
What are you talking about? I saw him last night.
Don't you know that's impossible? I know what i see.
He was ten years old when you were ten years old.
He's as old as you are.
I tell you, i saw him.
He's a grown up man.
Oh, you think so? You think so, do you? Let me tell you, i saw him last night on randolph street.
And i saw george lambert and i saw cy wright.
And they are still kids.
Beyond it is another dimension- a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind.
You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.
I have an appointment with mr.
Feathersmith.
Oh, yes, mr.
Deidrich, he's expecting you, sir.
Right this way.
Oh, wow.
I could just see him now.
That big, happy grin on his face just before he draws the blood.
"Have a cigar, mr.
Deidrich, before i rip you to pieces.
"But i must have my little fun first.
Have a cigar.
" Have a cigar, mr.
Deidrich.
Thank you, no, mr.
Feathersmith.
You asked me to come here at 2:00; it is now 2:00.
What did you have on your mind? Hmm, you never have cared for my habits have you, mr.
Deidrich? Whether i do or don't is not at issue, mr.
Feathersmith.
But the extent of time you keep me here is, on the other hand, of considerable import.
I'm a busy man, let's get on with it.
We've come a pretty far route, haven't we, the two of us? So? So, it's odd how our lives seem to crisscross back and forth.
I owe you a great deal, mr.
Deidrich, i really do.
I remember vividly one afternoon when you called me into your office, and said: "Bill feathersmith, i like your style, boy.
I want you in with me.
" You remember that afternoon, mr.
Deidrich? I shall never forget it.
I have given it a good deal of thought in the ensuing years and shall never cease to regret it.
You never did like me.
I wouldn't say that, mr.
Feathersmith.
I wouldn't say that i never did like you.
I have disliked and detested you with great cordiality.
I have found you to be from the moment you came into my office a predatory, grasping conniving, acquisitive animal of a man.
Without heart, without conscience without compassion.
Without even a subtle hint of the common decencies.
Shall we go on from there? I give you this, mr.
Deidrich: You never were one to toady around with phony euphemisms.
You always did speak your mind.
And you, mr.
Feathersmith, this is perhaps the singular compliment i can dredge up: You've always been a man to speak yours.
So why don't you? All right, then.
I'll dopreciselythat.
This is my empire, mr.
Deidrich.
Mining, steel, electronics, lumber, railroads, minerals, manufacturing it's been a step-by-step, piece-by-piece building up of an industrial complex that i take pardonable pride in.
But there is one piece missing.
That is to say, therewas one piece missing the deidrich tool and die company employing 13,000 men.
A good and substantial plant in operation some 40 years.
Not always perfectly managed, but adequately managed.
Sufficiently well-managed to make you move heaven and earth to try to buy it on the first monday of each month.
But thank heaven i won't live to see the day when you stick your greasy-ham fists into it.
You call it well-managed.
You're speaking comparatively, of course.
I'm speaking of that little matter of your financial problems.
I happen to know for a fact that you secured a loan for $3 million a loan payable on demand.
Here is the note.
I bought up that note, mr.
Deidrich.
I paid an exorbitant amount of money for it more than it was worth.
But it was, well, shall i say, an excellent opportunity- an opportunity for our lives to crisscross again.
So, to the point: It reads, "payable on demand.
" So, mr.
Deidrich, on demand, it is.
I am calling this note.
I want it paid $3 million not tomorrow not this evening around suppertime now, mr.
Deidrich, this moment! I want your personal check in that amount or i'll have to send a few sign painters out to the deidrich tool and die company and have them cross off the name deidrich! Feathersmith if you call that note you'll bankrupt me.
You'll kill off everything i have.
Everything i own everything.
Witness a murder.
The killer is mr.
William feathersmith, a robber baron whose body composition is made up of a refrigeration plant covered by thick skin.
In a moment, mr.
Feathersmith will proceed in his daily course of conquest and calumny with yet another business dealing.
But this will be one of those bizarre transactions that take place in an odd marketplace known as the twilight zone.
Miss pepper, miss pepper! Yes, sir? Take me down, young man.
Take me all the way down if there's anyplace lower than this floor.
Excuse me, sir, uh, i didn't know you were here.
Well, i am here, lafayette.
I am most assuredly here.
Andhereis the mountaintop.
High rung on the ladder, way up on the mountaintop.
Like, now, what let's see, what was his name genghis khan? Genghis khan feathersmith? What's the matter with me? Who are you, anyway? Hecate, sir, custodian of the top three floors.
And so, you're hecate, custodian of the top three floors, hmm? You have a drink, hecate, custodian of the top three floors.
Thank you, no sir, but i appreciate that.
Tell me, how long have you been performing this illustrious task? I've been in this building for 34 years.
I got a got a gold watch last year.
A gold watch Your aggressive self-assurance unnerves me, hecate.
That's practically as long as i've been in the building.
But i didn't start here, hecate.
No, indeed, i started in a little town called cliffordville.
Cliffordville, indiana.
You ever hear of it, hecate? It's a coincidence, sir, i was born in cliffordville.
I grew up there.
Well, well, well, we're very much alike.
Both from cliffordville we both put on our pants one leg at a time and there, the similarity ends.
Cliffordville, hmm? Well, that was areal town, wasn't it, hecate? A real place.
When a man could go up to the moon if he had a mind to and the legs to carry him and fingers to stretch out and grasp.
Hmm, not like now.
Hmm no not like now at all.
Genghis khan feathersmith, hmm.
Alexander the great feathersmith.
I've got everything there is to get but i'm still hungry.
He cried because he had no more worlds to conquer.
What? That was alexander the great.
He cried because he had no more worlds to conquer.
I guess i guess maybe he was kind of like you, mr.
Feathersmith.
You know something, hecate? I wish i could go back to cliffordville and begin again, i mean start all over.
You see, getting it, that was the kick getting it, not having it.
Good night, mr.
Hecate, custodian of the top three floors.
Don't forget to wind your gold watch.
Just one minute.
You left me off at the wrong floor.
This isn't the lobby.
How do you do, sir? Who are you? Devlin, first name's not important.
I own this building.
I'm aware of that, mr.
Feathersmith.
I'm aware of that, but i'm not aware of you having an office here, whoever you are.
Oh, i just opened it up.
As a matter of fact i've opened it foryourconvenience.
Won't you sit down? Why? Why, because, we've got some business to transact, you and i.
And there's no reason why we shouldn't be comfortable.
Go on, mr.
Feathersmith, you were saying? Hmm? Oh, the name of the town was cliffordville.
Ah, yes, cliffordville.
And it was a pleasant town? Of course it was pleasant.
It was better than pleasant.
There was a girl there, name of gibbons.
Father was president of the bank.
Beautiful girl.
And you enjoyed this, didn't you, mr.
Feathersmith? I didn't have time to enjoy anything.
I worked! Worked! I dug, i scratched, i pushed, i drove.
I went up up! You understand that? And now you're up.
You're all the way up.
And you're simply bored.
That's what you are, mr.
Feathersmith, plain bored.
It's worse than bored.
I'm ruthless now.
I just have no purpose, no plans.
I have no drive because there's no place to go.
What about this stuff on your door? A very succinct suggestion of the services i render, mr.
Feathersmith travel time travel.
Miss devlin let's you and i talk something over.
Indeed, mr.
Feathersmith i had intended that we should.
Let me suggest a possible transaction.
You say you're bored, you've got everything you want.
The pleasure's not in the possession it's in the desperate struggle to possess.
That's the sense of it, isn't it, mr.
Feathersmith? Go on.
Let's do this: Let's send you back to cliffordville the cliffordville of years ago.
You can start all over again.
Acquire, build, consolidate- how does that sound? Miss devlin, you are not dealing with a fool now.
I am not one of your "sell your soul for a nickel" country bumpkins.
Try this.
Send me back in time to cliffordville.
But i want to look exactly as i did then that's number one.
Agreed.
Number two: I want to have a memory of everything that's occurred in the last 50 years.
I don't want that memory impaired one bit! Check again, mr.
Feathersmith.
I want that town exactly as it was with the same people that i remember.
Allveryeasily arranged.
Anything else? I want it to happen right away.
Time is of absolutely no essence.
You name the hour that is the hour you shall have.
Now, as to the price.
Yes, mr.
Feathersmith, as to price.
Well, i suppose thestandardpayment is, um, well, i guess you'd call it the soul.
On occasion, mr.
Feathersmith that is part of the transaction.
But in your case, we got a hold of your soul some time ago, i believe.
Let me check this.
Ah, here it is.
There was the crash of the trans-mississippi debentures, the company you'd bought and then manipulated.
You ruined several hundred people with that chicanery.
There were four suicides as a result.
I believe the bulk of your soul went over to us shortly thereafter.
There are several other items here under private life, volume nine.
Business transactions subconscious thoughts and dreams.
Ah, here we are indirect murders.
People you drove to ruin and poverty hopelessness, ultimate death.
No, mr.
Feathersmith, i'm afraid your soul is not yours to negotiate.
Then whatdoyou charge? Cash.
The long green leaf lettuce currency.
I have your current assets tabulated here.
Were you to liquidate as of this moment you'd be worth precisely $36,891,412.
14.
You're very thorough.
We have to be thorough, mr.
Feathersmith.
Now, the cost for what you ask is nominal.
The entire cost, and that includes transportation back, clothing, retaining of your memory, maintenance of the town in its historically accurate form including its citizenry is, uh, $36,890,000 leaving you a balance of $1,412.
14.
You robber! Mr.
Feathersmith, $1,412.
14 is quite a little nest egg, considering oh, perhaps, miss devlin, perhaps, considering i know where the oil is just outside of town.
Ah, that's 1400 acres not discovered until, uh, let's see, it was 1937 when they brought in the first well.
And i know the nature of the stock market- which stocks will rise, which stocks will fall.
I know every invention that's been perfected in the last 50 years.
I can get in on the ground floor.
The ground floor? Why, the basement, sir.
$1,412.
14 is a fortune.
Good, when do i start, how soon? I can handle the liquidation for you.
Just sign this power of attorney and there's no reason why you can't leave immediately.
Anything else? I think not.
I think i might be able to sweeten the pot a bit for you.
This very attractive banker's daughter, for example.
I could fix that up for you most handily.
Do away with a traditional lengthy courtship the ritualistic formalities of the time.
No, forget it.
I'm going to work for everything.
That's the fun of it, that's the kick! I'm going to work for everything! You just send me back with the 1,400-odd bucks and watchmysmoke, sister! Ha, exemplary, mr.
Feathersmith, really exemplary.
You're one of the few remaining rugged individualists of our time.
It's a pleasure doing business with you.
Now, good-bye.
You'll arrive in cliffordville at noon tomorrow.
That's noon of the year 1910.
And needless to say, mr.
Feathersmith, i wish for you everything that you deserve.
Little lady, you don't have to wish anything for me.
I get everything i go after, everything! I believe you, mr.
Feathersmith.
I have no doubt whatsoever.
This is your captain speaking.
We are crossing the indiana state line.
For those of you who are interested we have just gained an hour.
Cliffordville.
This stop is cliffordville.
Cliffordville.
The devil, you say.
All aboard.
Twilight zonewill continue after station identification.
What's the matter, can't you pave the roads around here? Hey, van winkle.
You want something, sir? Yeah, something.
That yellow flag bit what's the holiday? Oh, them? Yes, them.
Typhoid flags; they got typhoid over there.
Typhoid? Haven't those idiots ever heard of innocu oh, no, they haven't, have they? No, not this year.
Well, go back to sleep, rip, i'll wake you when i need you.
Huh.
That's old man hecate! You got a great future, jack.
A great future.
I beg your pardon, sir.
Mr.
Deidrich, isn't it? You, uh, have the advantage, sir.
Yes, i do indeed.
But we'll get into that later on.
Wonderful having this little chat.
Sit down, mr.
, uh mr.
Feathersmith.
I'll only be a moment, sir.
This is my lunch hour and i never let business interfere with pleasure.
And i never let pleasure interfere with business.
The name is feathersmith.
I'm not a peddler, drummer, or door-to-door salesman.
I'm here to make myself rich.
In the process, you can lick up a few crumbs.
I beg your pardon? The widow turner's land, is it available? The widow turner's land? There were Is there an echo here or would it help if i hired an interpreter? No, indeed, mr.
Feathersmith, no, indeed, it's just that, uh, well, sir, you're talking about a very valuable piece of property.
I'm talking about widow turner's land, south end of town.
Indeed, indeed, beautiful spot.
lovely acres.
Singing birds and constant sunshine.
It's a garden of eden for a man with vision and the potential is unlimited.
It's a swamp for mosquitoes and the potential is malaria.
Tell me who owns it and how much they want for it.
Well, as a matter of fact, that land was purchased from the estate of the late mrs.
Turner by yours truly in partnership with a mr.
Sebastian deidrich here in town.
We each own half of it.
Deidrich, huh? Well, do you suppose that you and mr.
Deidrich could bepersuaded to part with it assuming the price is within reason? Well, as valuable as that land is, uh well, sir, uh, everything has its price.
How does $4.
00 an acre sound to you? Lovely fine.
If i were an idiot.
But i am not an idiot, mr.
Gibbons.
I'll give you Why don't we strike toward a compromise and say $3.
00? Let's say 75 cents.
You're a driver of a hard bargain, mr.
Feathersmith.
However, both myself and mr.
Deidrich might hold still for, uh $2.
00 an acre.
Hmm.
Mr.
Gibbons, you wouldn't hold still for a back rub if you couldn't convert it into currency.
One buck an acre, and that's it.
A dollar an acre, you say? All right, a dollar an acre, i say.
And in eight seconds, it'll go down to 80 cents.
Going going gone, mr.
Feathersmith.
And i presume this will be a cash transaction? You just bring the deeds to my hotel tonight properly signed and notarized and i'll have your money.
Well, now, sir, this is the way i like to have a transaction.
No fiddling around.
Just two staunch men of goodwill who know what they want.
Don't you agree, mr.
Feathersmith? I agree with you right down the line, mr.
Gibbons assuming both your hands are visible.
And i amnota widow or an orphan.
You have a daughter, mr.
Gibbons.
Why why, yes.
Oh, do you mind? Oh, no, please joanna is her name.
Yes.
And as pretty a slice of peach pie as ever went on a hayride.
Mr.
Feathersmith, that you're being insulting.
No, mr.
Gibbons, i am not being insulting.
I am being candid, i am speaking my mind.
I know what i like, and i ask for it and i generally get it.
Now, let's meet this little doll.
So i told daddy when he told me that you were downstairs, i said, "it's about time we had a sophisticated man in this town.
" Didn't i say that, daddy? Oh, have another bon-bon, mr.
Feathersmith.
Uh, no.
Oh, they're delicious.
Mm.
This one's a cream.
Mm, a real good cream.
Oh, i just love cream.
Don't you like cream, mr.
Feathersmith? Oh, well oh, i love them.
They're just goodie-goodie.
Well, anyway, when it was july, we all went to my aunt bertha's in maine.
Have you ever been to maine, mr.
Feathersmith? Uh i love swimming.
I just adore the ocean.
I'm the best swimmer in my class, huh, daddy? Have another bon-bon, mr.
Feathersmith.
No thank you.
They're goodie-goodie.
Hmm? Oh, oh.
Wh-why don't you sing for us, joanna? I'm sure mr.
Feathersmith would love that.
Oh, i think he'd be bored with music on this hot afternoon.
Wouldn't you, mr.
Feathersmith? Oh, well, if you insist.
? every little movement has a meaning all its own? ? every thought and feeling? ? by some posture can be shown? ? and every love song that comes a-stealing? ? o'er your being must be revealing? ? all its sweetness? Ah, you, uh you don't have another daughter? That delightful little thing is my one and only.
Sings beautifully, doesn't she? Oh, yes, like a bird.
A ruptured rooster.
Well, you're right on time, mr.
Feathersmith.
I always am.
Hmm, i don't believe you two gentlemen have met.
This is mr.
Deidrich.
And this is mr.
Feathersmith, mr.
Deidrich.
I presume you brought cash, mr.
Feathersmith? here is $1,403.
You, uh, you seem to put all your eggs in one basket, mr.
Feathersmith.
I wouldn't let that concern you, mr.
Deidrich.
You see, i have an exclusive contract with the hen.
Beers all around.
Well, gentlemen shall we get down to cases? When it comes to a fast shuffle you're involved with a very knowledgeable dealer.
Comment, mr.
Deidrich? Ah, you have the floor, mr.
Feathersmith.
You seem anxious to have it.
It's just a human frailty i mean, to gloat just a bit when one has just skinned a couple of professional skinners.
Which incidentally, is what i've done to you.
A buck an acre, and you're sitting here thinking that whenthispigeon flew into town you plucked him bald.
I sent a telegram to a geologist.
He arrived on the 4:00 train.
He spent the day out at the widow turner's land made some preliminary soil tests.
Care to hear the results? Feel free, mr.
Feathersmith.
I'll oblige, mr.
Deidrich.
That crummy swampland you sold me for a buck an acre is worth half a million times that.
There's oil on that land mr.
Gibbons, mr.
Deidrich- oil, black gold.
There's enough oil in that land to produce 500 barrels of oil a day for the next 1000 years.
And you sold it to me for a buck an acre! I swear, i could almost feel sorry for you.
Well, uh, maybe you don't understand.
We understand you, mr.
Feathersmith.
I saidoil! Oil, yes, yes.
Well, how's that for a small shocker to end the day? Well, at the time, it made us gulp a bit, too.
At the time? Four years ago, the first geological tests were made and we were told about the oil.
Four years ago! Indeed, there were samples taken of the soil at that time, too.
There was never any doubt that the land had oil under it.
mr.
Feathersmith, which means it might just as well be on the moon.
The moon? The oil can't be taken out of the ground.
It just can't be taken out.
What do you mean, it can't be taken out? You could drill down five miles if you needed to.
Well, youcould perhaps, but nobody else on earth could.
And at that, you'd better get up off that seat and inventing some new kind of a drill.
Of course, i i forgot.
It was 1937 when they when they uh, problem, mr.
Feathersmith? Not feeling too well? Something, uh, a little queasy, perhaps? Oh, it's something i ate, i think.
Something you ate, no doubt like, uh, likecrow, mr.
Feathersmith? Mr.
Cronk, this here is mr.
, uh mr.
, uh feathersmith.
Mr.
Feathersmith says he'd like to talk to us about i guess you'd call it "inventions.
" What kind of inventions? It's something that'll turn this two-bit tool shed into a factory.
A self-starter.
You want to enlarge on that, mr.
Feathersmith? What do you mean, enlarge on it? It's a thing you press with your foot that starts an engine with an electric motor.
Well, uh, what's it used for? What's it used for? It's used to make What goes into it? Are you all there? It's a storage battery, a motor it's a gillhookey that starts the motor.
I've given you the principle all you have to do is build it.
Make me a set of blueprints and specifications and i'll build it.
Look, i am not a crummy draftsman or a two-bit blueprint man.
I'm a promoter, a financier.
I'm going to give you the backing i've given you the principle all you have to do is build it.
Not without blueprints, specifications.
Now, what was the other stuff? Other stuff what isn't there? There's everything.
There's everything under the sun.
And you rube sit around here fixing tricycle pedals.
There's radio.
There's television.
Plastics ever here of aluminum? Aluminum airplanes? You foggy-headed carriage builders, we could make ourselves $8 billion! Sure.
Of course we could.
Wait there's nothing standing in our way.
All it takes is just a little imagination.
Just a little drive.
Let's talk it over.
Let's see what appeals to you.
Uh, what appeals to me? Well, uh how about a nice, handsome perpetual motion machine.
What's it used for? To make 200 million bucks, that's what it's used for.
Listen, are you all there? It's a storage battery, a motor it's a gillhookey that starts the motor.
I've given you the principle, all you have to do is build it.
Now, look, i am not a crummy draftsman or a two-bit blueprint man.
I'm a promoter, a financier.
I'm going to give you the backing.
I've already given you the principle, now all you have to do is build it.
There's everything, everything under the sun, and you rube, you sit around here fixing tricycle pedals.
There's radio, there's television plastics ever hear of aluminum? Aluminum airplanes you foggy-headed carriage builders! We could make ourselves $8 million.
Jesus, this place the goals of a 75-year-old man she, she didn't change me inside tha that's why i've been so tired why, why i can't function, why i, i can't operate.
That's why i can't make out because inside, i'm already the way i was well, mr.
Feathersmith.
Why, mr.
Feathersmith, dear boy, you look out of sorts flagging, peaked, drooping, and not at all well.
You miserable, you now, let's be fair about this, mr.
Feathersmith, and let's be reasoning and rational and thoughtful.
I'm a 75-year-old man.
Discerning of you.
Nothing was mentioned, mr.
Feathersmith, about changing yourchronologicalage.
You said you wanted to look 30 which is precisely the way you look.
We said nothing about your insides your heart, your veins, your kidneys, your bladder just your appearance.
That was all that was touched upon in the contract.
But this place this town hmm, indeed.
You wanted it as it was.
That was a specific clause in the contract.
It's really not my fault your memory is so imperfect.
As to the possibilities of investments well, you knew that oil wasn't reached until 1937.
Your problem is that you leaped before you looked.
But, but everything else everything else was wrong the girl the deals inventions, stocks, bonds, everything it didn't work.
It just it just simply didn't work.
Of course it didn't.
Of course, because you, mr.
Feathersmith, are a wheeler and a dealer, a financier, a pusher a brain, a manipulator a raider.
Because you are a taker, instead of a builder.
A conniver, instead of a designer.
A user instead of a bringer.
Well, mr.
Feathersmith, you are what is commonly referred to as being behind the old eight-ball.
Look, look, i don't want much.
Send me back.
Send me back to 1963, back to where i was.
That's all i want, i swear to you.
That's all i want.
You understand, of course that icansend you back to 1963.
But it will be a 1963 predicated on what's occurred in the past 24 hours.
I don't care, i don't care.
I think i might be able to arrange putting you back in your own time.
But, mind you, mr.
Feathersmith, this is nothing more nor less than a gesture of sympathy.
Ooh, hurts me to mouth the word.
But frankly, you are such a totally abject unhappy-looking creature, that i can't find it in my, uh, wherever you find the heart to leave you here.
There's a train out of here at midnight, a special train.
Oh, bless you, miss devlin.
I'll never forget i swear to you, i'll never forget.
There is a small surcharge, mr.
Feathersmith.
A surcharge? $40.
$40? Things docost.
I, i don't have $40.
I don't, i don't have five dollars.
How about that? This is your night.
You have two negotiable items.
All you need do is liquidate them.
But, but but who would buy them? That i wouldn't know mr.
Feathersmith.
But you what'll i do, what'll i do? You've got about ten seconds.
Find yourself a customer.
It's as simple as that.
Here, hecate! Hecate! Here, it's a bargain! Constant sunshine, singing birds all aboard! Please, it's a bargain! Hurry, it's yours for 40 bucks! Yes, you want something? Oh, i was going to clean up, mr.
Hecate.
All right, clean up.
Hmm, marvelous old place.
Really great old town.
Uh, sir? Cliffordville.
Cliffordville, indiana.
I grew up there, got my start there.
Oh, that, that's a coincidence, sir.
I grew up there.
Name is feathersmith.
Hmm.
Well, how similar we are, mr.
Feathersmith.
We both came from cliffordville.
We both put on our pants one leg at a time.
And here we wind up in the same building each with his own particular function, huh? Oh, oh, yes, sir, each with our particular function.
Oh, they, they they gave me a, a watch.
Four years ago.
It was on the 40th anniversary as custodian.
Well, now, maybe for the next 40 years if you really apply yourself, mr.
Feathersmith, i'll buy you a fob.
Mr.
William j.
Feathersmith, tycoon.
Who tried the track one more time and found it muddier than he remembered.
Proving with at least a degree of conclusiveness that nice guys don't always finish last.
And some people should quit when they're ahead.
Tonight's tale of iron men and irony delivered f.
o.
b.
From the twilight zone.
On our next excursion into the twilight zone we borrow an imposing array of talent and call in the services of a distinguished author named reginald rose, and some exceptionally fine acting talent in the persons of mr.
Pat hingle, miss nan martin and miss ruth white.
They appear in a story called "the incredible world of horace ford.
" And it's an incredible world indeed.
Harvey bender? Who's harvey bender? What's the matter? Just stop it.
He was one of the kids last night.
What are you talking about? I saw him last night.
Don't you know that's impossible? I know what i see.
He was ten years old when you were ten years old.
He's as old as you are.
I tell you, i saw him.
He's a grown up man.
Oh, you think so? You think so, do you? Let me tell you, i saw him last night on randolph street.
And i saw george lambert and i saw cy wright.
And they are still kids.