Impractical Jokers (2017) s04e15 Episode Script
Kill the Centaur
narrator: Coming up What's got sal living on the ledge? What's got sal living on the ledge? oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
Ledge? oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ both laugh .]
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ both laugh .]
narrator: Why is "murr" [ both laugh .]
narrator: Why is "murr" taking cover? narrator: Why is "murr" taking cover? just try to Taking cover? just try to [ laughter .]
just try to [ laughter .]
[ bell dings .]
[ laughter .]
[ bell dings .]
narrator: And which joker [ bell dings .]
narrator: And which joker will be up against the ropes in narrator: And which joker will be up against the ropes in tonight's punishment? Will be up against the ropes in tonight's punishment? [ laughter .]
Tonight's punishment? [ laughter .]
[ crowd booing .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd booing .]
prepare for something [ crowd booing .]
prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today we're at efinger sporting goods company, working the sales floor.
while helping customers, We'll have to do and say what The other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say Anything, you lose.
[ knocking .]
what is that? [ laughs .]
that's just me -- murr.
[ laughter .]
Hi, guys, what are you looking For? "I feel like a prostitute.
" [ laughs .]
he likes goalie? That's great.
I feel like a prostitute.
[ record scratches .]
I feel like a prostitute.
[ record scratches .]
[ laughter .]
[ record scratches .]
[ laughter .]
we had a legit double take! [ laughter .]
we had a legit double take! [ record scratches .]
we had a legit double take! [ record scratches .]
does that mean he's in the [ record scratches .]
does that mean he's in the mood for a prostitute, or he does that mean he's in the mood for a prostitute, or he feels like he is a prostitute? Mood for a prostitute, or he feels like he is a prostitute? oh, that's true.
Feels like he is a prostitute? oh, that's true.
[ laughter .]
oh, that's true.
[ laughter .]
the woman over there [ laughter .]
the woman over there Just take the ball from her.
the woman over there Just take the ball from her.
Steal it.
Just take the ball from her.
Steal it.
Just steal it from her.
Steal it.
Just steal it from her.
[ indistinct conversation .]
Just steal it from her.
[ indistinct conversation .]
oh.
[ indistinct conversation .]
oh.
[ laughter .]
oh.
[ laughter .]
go give her another different [ laughter .]
go give her another different ball.
go give her another different ball.
oh, my god.
Ball.
oh, my god.
that's a 14-pound medicine oh, my god.
that's a 14-pound medicine ball.
that's a 14-pound medicine ball.
nice shoe.
Here you go.
ohh! [ laughter .]
hi, guys.
What are you looking for? a tennis outfit.
What are you looking for? a tennis outfit.
you're looking for a tennis a tennis outfit.
you're looking for a tennis outfit? you're looking for a tennis outfit? get confused with a sleeping Outfit? get confused with a sleeping bad and a tennis outfit.
get confused with a sleeping bad and a tennis outfit.
[ laughter .]
Bad and a tennis outfit.
[ laughter .]
we're over here.
Okay.
[ laughter .]
we're over here.
Okay.
Pretty sure we're over here.
Okay.
Pretty sure Let's see if this works.
Pretty sure Let's see if this works.
Here, put your arms up.
Let's see if this works.
Here, put your arms up.
This is the tennis outfit, Here, put your arms up.
This is the tennis outfit, right? This is the tennis outfit, right? [ laughter .]
Right? [ laughter .]
where -- let me see if it fits.
[ laughter .]
where -- let me see if it fits.
[ laughs .]
Where -- let me see if it fits.
[ laughs .]
okay, that seems like it's [ laughs .]
okay, that seems like it's the right size.
okay, that seems like it's the right size.
Now swing the racket.
The right size.
Now swing the racket.
Let me see if that Now swing the racket.
Let me see if that No, I think this is -- no, Let me see if that No, I think this is -- no, you're a medium for sure.
No, I think this is -- no, you're a medium for sure.
[ laughs .]
You're a medium for sure.
[ laughs .]
now crawl into the sleeping [ laughs .]
now crawl into the sleeping bag.
now crawl into the sleeping bag.
[ laughter .]
Bag.
[ laughter .]
and knock everything over.
[ laughter .]
and knock everything over.
[ laughter .]
And knock everything over.
[ laughter .]
this is more [ laughter .]
this is more [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
"at this point, I'm stuck.
" at this point, I'm stuck.
"at this point, I'm stuck.
" at this point, I'm stuck.
Can you -- can you help me out? at this point, I'm stuck.
Can you -- can you help me out? Just try to Can you -- can you help me out? Just try to [ laughs .]
Just try to [ laughs .]
just pull.
Pull harder.
[ laughs .]
just pull.
Pull harder.
Yeah, keep just pull.
Pull harder.
Yeah, keep [ laughs .]
Yeah, keep [ laughs .]
"little girl, could you [ laughs .]
"little girl, could you help?" "little girl, could you help?" little girl, could you help, Help?" little girl, could you help, too, please? little girl, could you help, too, please? Just grip my legs.
Too, please? Just grip my legs.
Pull by the legs.
Just grip my legs.
Pull by the legs.
Almost! Oh, progress! Pull by the legs.
Almost! Oh, progress! [ laughter .]
Almost! Oh, progress! [ laughter .]
ah! Thank [ laughter .]
ah! Thank now just run away as fast as ah! Thank now just run away as fast as you can.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh, oh, grab these kids in the hood.
hey.
The hood.
hey.
"you ever french-kiss a hey.
"you ever french-kiss a baseball glove, guys?" "you ever french-kiss a baseball glove, guys?" [ chuckles .]
Baseball glove, guys?" [ chuckles .]
you ever french-kiss a baseball [ chuckles .]
you ever french-kiss a baseball glove? You ever french-kiss a baseball glove? "it's almost like the real Glove? "it's almost like the real deal.
" "it's almost like the real deal.
" it's almost like the real Deal.
" it's almost like the real deal.
it's almost like the real deal.
do you guys want to see a Deal.
do you guys want to see a dead body? do you guys want to see a dead body? guys want to see a dead body? Dead body? guys want to see a dead body? [ laughs .]
guys want to see a dead body? [ laughs .]
"you ever french-kiss one?" [ laughs .]
"you ever french-kiss one?" [ whir! .]
no, he can't do it! [ buzzer! .]
[ laughter .]
sal, grab those binoculars.
[ chuckles .]
there you go, sal.
Look to your left, left, left, left.
Look to your left, left, left, left.
[ whir! .]
Left.
[ whir! .]
[ laughter .]
[ whir! .]
[ laughter .]
observe in the wild.
[ laughter .]
observe in the wild.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
so weird! look at this guy.
so weird! look at this guy.
[ tribal music plays .]
look at this guy.
[ tribal music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ tribal music plays .]
[ laughter .]
blend in.
[ laughter .]
blend in.
[ laughter .]
blend in.
[ laughter .]
you're not sure what creature [ laughter .]
you're not sure what creature he might be, so you need to lure you're not sure what creature he might be, so you need to lure him.
He might be, so you need to lure him.
yeah, try a duck call.
Him.
yeah, try a duck call.
quack! yeah, try a duck call.
quack! [ laughter .]
quack! [ laughter .]
observe in nature.
[ laughter .]
observe in nature.
[ music continues .]
observe in nature.
[ music continues .]
[ trumpets .]
[ music continues .]
[ trumpets .]
[ laughter .]
[ trumpets .]
[ laughter .]
dude, do it again, sal.
[ laughter .]
dude, do it again, sal.
Do it again.
ribbet! Ribbet! [ laughter .]
he looks like he's -- he looks like a creepy he looks like he's -- he looks like a creepy referee.
he looks like a creepy referee.
you know what the problem is? Referee.
you know what the problem is? I think, sal, that shirt isn't you know what the problem is? I think, sal, that shirt isn't good camouflage.
I think, sal, that shirt isn't good camouflage.
Right behind you, hanging, Good camouflage.
Right behind you, hanging, there's a full camouflage Right behind you, hanging, there's a full camouflage outfit.
There's a full camouflage outfit.
Put it on.
Outfit.
Put it on.
[ laughter .]
Put it on.
[ laughter .]
[ high-pitched .]
hippo! [ laughter .]
[ high-pitched .]
hippo! [ laughter .]
"can you see me right now?" can you see me right now? uhYeah.
can you see me right now? uhYeah.
hoo-hoo! uhYeah.
hoo-hoo! [ laughter .]
hoo-hoo! [ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
you guys need help with Anything? Okay.
start using all new lingo, q, all right? so, you guys want your, uh, All right? so, you guys want your, uh, dancing clothes to be on fleek? so, you guys want your, uh, dancing clothes to be on fleek? yeah.
Dancing clothes to be on fleek? yeah.
yep.
Got it.
Got it.
yeah.
yep.
Got it.
Got it.
[ chuckles .]
yep.
Got it.
Got it.
[ chuckles .]
twerk.
[ chuckles .]
twerk.
[ laughter .]
twerk.
[ laughter .]
"I just started dating [ laughter .]
"I just started dating this -- this lady.
"I just started dating this -- this lady.
She's got a kid.
" This -- this lady.
She's got a kid.
" I just started dating this She's got a kid.
" I just started dating this lady.
I just started dating this lady.
mm-hmm.
Lady.
mm-hmm.
she's got, like, a kid.
mm-hmm.
she's got, like, a kid.
"I'm just trying to connect she's got, like, a kid.
"I'm just trying to connect with it.
" "I'm just trying to connect with it.
" I'm just trying to connect With it.
" I'm just trying to connect with it.
I'm just trying to connect with it.
I took it -- like, I took it to With it.
I took it -- like, I took it to the movie.
I took it -- like, I took it to the movie.
I got it -- I got it, uh, like, The movie.
I got it -- I got it, uh, like, those chocolate-covered raisins.
I got it -- I got it, uh, like, those chocolate-covered raisins.
"it loved those.
" Those chocolate-covered raisins.
"it loved those.
" it loved those.
"it loved those.
" it loved those.
it? it loved those.
it? yeah.
it? yeah.
[ laughter .]
yeah.
[ laughter .]
if I'm gonna get in with bae, I [ laughter .]
if I'm gonna get in with bae, I got to pretend to like this If I'm gonna get in with bae, I got to pretend to like this thing.
Got to pretend to like this thing.
so, can I give you a tip Thing.
so, can I give you a tip first? so, can I give you a tip first? yeah.
First? yeah.
maybe you should stop calling yeah.
maybe you should stop calling the daughter "it.
" maybe you should stop calling the daughter "it.
" I'm not exactly sure that The daughter "it.
" I'm not exactly sure that it's a daughter.
I'm not exactly sure that it's a daughter.
does it have long hair? It's a daughter.
does it have long hair? right, well, don't call it does it have long hair? right, well, don't call it "it.
" right, well, don't call it "it.
" that's rude.
"it.
" that's rude.
[ laughter .]
That's rude.
[ laughter .]
what, uh -- what sort of [ laughter .]
what, uh -- what sort of activity are you looking at? q, see the mannequin over there? It's looking good.
There? It's looking good.
[ chuckles .]
It's looking good.
[ chuckles .]
what do you think of that, uh -- [ chuckles .]
what do you think of that, uh -- what do you think of that dress? What do you think of that, uh -- what do you think of that dress? [ laughs .]
What do you think of that dress? [ laughs .]
on the mannequin, to me, it [ laughs .]
on the mannequin, to me, it looks hot.
on the mannequin, to me, it looks hot.
[ laughs .]
Looks hot.
[ laughs .]
you see? And, like, look.
[ laughs .]
you see? And, like, look.
Here's the thing, though, about you see? And, like, look.
Here's the thing, though, about it.
Here's the thing, though, about it.
"mannequin looks even better It.
"mannequin looks even better with the dress off.
" "mannequin looks even better with the dress off.
" oh, my god.
With the dress off.
" oh, my god.
Here's -- here's the thing about oh, my god.
Here's -- here's the thing about the mannequin, though.
Here's -- here's the thing about the mannequin, though.
If you take the dress off it, The mannequin, though.
If you take the dress off it, all right? If you take the dress off it, all right? So -- so, now you got that, but All right? So -- so, now you got that, but now you don't even need the So -- so, now you got that, but now you don't even need the dress.
Now you don't even need the dress.
Now just look at that mannequin.
Dress.
Now just look at that mannequin.
That's got stumps in all the Now just look at that mannequin.
That's got stumps in all the right places, you know what I That's got stumps in all the right places, you know what I mean? Right places, you know what I mean? [ laughs .]
oh, I've taken it home, and they keep making me return it.
I drilled this hole in it.
They keep making me return it.
I drilled this hole in it.
you take this home?! I drilled this hole in it.
you take this home?! I drilled that hole in it, you take this home?! I drilled that hole in it, and I drilled that hole in it.
I drilled that hole in it, and I drilled that hole in it.
"I don't have a drill.
" And I drilled that hole in it.
"I don't have a drill.
" [ laughter .]
"I don't have a drill.
" [ laughter .]
I didn't even use a drill.
[ laughter .]
I didn't even use a drill.
[ laughter .]
I didn't even use a drill.
[ laughter .]
cool.
Have a good day.
[ laughter .]
cool.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Cool.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
you, too.
Have a good day.
you, too.
thank you.
you, too.
thank you.
pick it up and walk away.
thank you.
pick it up and walk away.
[ laughter .]
pick it up and walk away.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
Joe, pick up that mannequin Head.
Pop it in your shirt so you look Like a mannequin.
wear it like a mask.
now zip up your hoodie, bud.
Now zip up your hoodie, bud.
now zip up your hoodie, bud.
Now zip up your hoodie, bud.
yeah, yeah.
Now zip up your hoodie, bud.
yeah, yeah.
oh, my god! yeah, yeah.
oh, my god! yeah! oh, my god! yeah! oh, my god! yeah! oh, my god! joe, do you think that if you oh, my god! joe, do you think that if you could stand really still and joe, do you think that if you could stand really still and people would think you're a Could stand really still and people would think you're a mannequin? People would think you're a mannequin? [ chuckles .]
Mannequin? [ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
Wow.
This is weird.
oh, my god.
Wow.
This is weird.
Oh! There's a kid walking up to Wow.
This is weird.
Oh! There's a kid walking up to you.
Oh! There's a kid walking up to you.
Stay still.
Stay still.
You.
Stay still.
Stay still.
[ laughter .]
Stay still.
Stay still.
[ laughter .]
the kid just looked back.
[ laughter .]
the kid just looked back.
joe, make a noise.
The kid just looked back.
joe, make a noise.
Make a noise.
joe, make a noise.
Make a noise.
rah! Make a noise.
rah! [ laughter .]
Rah! [ laughter .]
you just scared the [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
you just scared the [bleep.]
out of them.
"oh, disgusting.
" [ scoffs .]
those are disgusting.
[ scoffs .]
those are disgusting.
[ laughter .]
Those are disgusting.
[ laughter .]
"you want to put these on [ laughter .]
"you want to put these on your feet?!" "you want to put these on your feet?!" do you want to put these on Your feet?!" do you want to put these on your feet? do you want to put these on your feet? Disgusting.
Your feet? Disgusting.
'cause this is -- this must be Disgusting.
'cause this is -- this must be the glue, right? 'cause this is -- this must be the glue, right? Disgusting.
The glue, right? Disgusting.
[ laughter .]
Disgusting.
[ laughter .]
joe, just start dancing like [ laughter .]
joe, just start dancing like you're at a wedding.
joe, just start dancing like you're at a wedding.
because the ones over here -- You're at a wedding.
because the ones over here -- they have a little bit, but the because the ones over here -- they have a little bit, but the glue is on these.
They have a little bit, but the glue is on these.
These aren't that bad.
Glue is on these.
These aren't that bad.
I mean, you could, you know -- These aren't that bad.
I mean, you could, you know -- all of them -- I mean, you could, you know -- all of them -- wait.
All of them -- wait.
What size are those? wait.
What size are those? these here? What size are those? these here? Those are these here? Those are keep doing it, joe.
Those are keep doing it, joe.
Just keep doing it.
keep doing it, joe.
Just keep doing it.
these are the 9.
Just keep doing it.
these are the 9.
These are the 8's.
these are the 9.
These are the 8's.
I don't know what size shoe you These are the 8's.
I don't know what size shoe you are.
I don't know what size shoe you are.
But if they fit, then they're on Are.
But if they fit, then they're on sale.
But if they fit, then they're on sale.
They're a good -- joe, get a name.
Joe, get her name.
what was your name? I'm sorry, hon.
Angelica.
I'm joe.
Nice to see you.
joe, go right back where you Were behind that -- behind that Right there.
Peek out and just go, "angelica.
" angelica.
[ laughing .]
do it again.
angelica.
Angelica.
[ laughter .]
angelica.
[ laughter .]
angelica.
Disgusting.
Angelica.
Disgusting.
[ ding! .]
Disgusting.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: Murr didn't have [ laughter .]
narrator: Murr didn't have the goods, so he's first up on narrator: Murr didn't have the goods, so he's first up on the loser board.
The goods, so he's first up on the loser board.
today, we're on the streets, The loser board.
today, we're on the streets, competing head-to-head, playing today, we're on the streets, competing head-to-head, playing a little game that we like to Competing head-to-head, playing a little game that we like to call "do it better.
" now, two of us will be given A task, and the goal will be to Do that task better than the Other guy.
whoever does it better wins.
side note -- murr's nephews are on set today.
all: Be a better uncle! Are on set today.
all: Be a better uncle! ferret! all: Be a better uncle! ferret! [ laughter .]
ferret! [ laughter .]
the "ferret" was a nice [ laughter .]
the "ferret" was a nice touch.
the name of the game is "do it better.
" "do it better.
" you got to do it better.
keeps going till somebody Doesn't do it better.
and we are the judge.
I love being the judge.
me, too.
all right.
all right, guys.
Steal somebody's nose.
oh, like the old, uh "oop! Got your nose.
" first you got to figure out "oop! Got your nose.
" first you got to figure out how you can be better at it.
first you got to figure out how you can be better at it.
And then you have to actually do How you can be better at it.
And then you have to actually do it, so have fun.
And then you have to actually do it, so have fun.
my parents didn't want to It, so have fun.
my parents didn't want to play this with me when I was my parents didn't want to play this with me when I was younger 'cause they didn't want Play this with me when I was younger 'cause they didn't want to throw their back out.
Younger 'cause they didn't want to throw their back out.
[ laughter .]
To throw their back out.
[ laughter .]
excuse me.
[ laughter .]
excuse me.
I have a question for you.
excuse me.
I have a question for you.
sure.
I have a question for you.
sure.
did you ever get your nose sure.
did you ever get your nose stolen before? did you ever get your nose stolen before? no.
Stolen before? no.
okay, I want to let you know no.
okay, I want to let you know something.
okay, I want to let you know something.
I got your nose! Something.
I got your nose! [ laughter .]
I got your nose! [ laughter .]
she just went on her way.
[ laughter .]
she just went on her way.
She looks like skeletor now.
She just went on her way.
She looks like skeletor now.
[ laughter .]
She looks like skeletor now.
[ laughter .]
all right, buddy.
[ laughter .]
all right, buddy.
You got to beat that.
All right, buddy.
You got to beat that.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
You got to beat that.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
do it better.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
do it better.
do it better.
do it better.
do it better.
[ chuckles .]
do it better.
[ chuckles .]
uh-huh? [ chuckles .]
uh-huh? Yeah? uh-huh? Yeah? Yeah? Got it.
Okay.
Yeah? Yeah? Got it.
Okay.
I'll get him, tony.
Yeah? Got it.
Okay.
I'll get him, tony.
Hey, guys.
I'll get him, tony.
Hey, guys.
Uh, I'm -- I'm with the -- the Hey, guys.
Uh, I'm -- I'm with the -- the car over here.
Uh, I'm -- I'm with the -- the car over here.
what are -- what are you, Car over here.
what are -- what are you, michael knight? what are -- what are you, michael knight? [ laughter .]
Michael knight? [ laughter .]
we were receiving reports of [ laughter .]
we were receiving reports of two noses that are out of we were receiving reports of two noses that are out of control in the park, so I'm Two noses that are out of control in the park, so I'm gonna have to take possession of Control in the park, so I'm gonna have to take possession of these two noses real quick.
Gonna have to take possession of these two noses real quick.
Boop! I got 'em.
Okay.
These two noses real quick.
Boop! I got 'em.
Okay.
We're gonna hold onto these Boop! I got 'em.
Okay.
We're gonna hold onto these until you guys feel you can use We're gonna hold onto these until you guys feel you can use them responsibly.
Until you guys feel you can use them responsibly.
Thank you.
Them responsibly.
Thank you.
oh! Double nose! Thank you.
oh! Double nose! a double nose! oh! Double nose! a double nose! [ laughter .]
a double nose! [ laughter .]
did that top me? [ laughter .]
did that top me? that topped you, buddy.
did that top me? that topped you, buddy.
Definitely.
that topped you, buddy.
Definitely.
two -- two noses? Definitely.
two -- two noses? two noses.
two -- two noses? two noses.
yeah, but -- but I don't want two noses.
yeah, but -- but I don't want you guys to get confused.
yeah, but -- but I don't want you guys to get confused.
This isn't about the most noses.
You guys to get confused.
This isn't about the most noses.
no, no, no.
This isn't about the most noses.
no, no, no.
Be better.
no, no, no.
Be better.
just be better at it.
Be better.
just be better at it.
it's a better way of getting just be better at it.
it's a better way of getting a nose.
it's a better way of getting a nose.
so, I'm gonna do something I A nose.
so, I'm gonna do something I normally would not do.
so, I'm gonna do something I normally would not do.
eat a salad? Normally would not do.
eat a salad? [ both laugh .]
eat a salad? [ both laugh .]
come on.
[ both laugh .]
come on.
You tossed that up.
Come on.
You tossed that up.
I'm gonna come in with the You tossed that up.
I'm gonna come in with the spike.
I'm gonna come in with the spike.
oh! Spike.
oh! I got your nose, you little oh! I got your nose, you little bastard! I got your nose, you little bastard! [ laughs .]
Bastard! [ laughs .]
you can't even get it back [ laughs .]
you can't even get it back 'cause you're a kid and I'm an You can't even get it back 'cause you're a kid and I'm an adult! 'cause you're a kid and I'm an adult! Yes! Adult! Yes! congratulations on berating Yes! congratulations on berating and harassing a child, sal.
congratulations on berating and harassing a child, sal.
I would consider that better.
And harassing a child, sal.
I would consider that better.
oh, yeah.
I would consider that better.
oh, yeah.
I'm always for berating oh, yeah.
I'm always for berating children.
I'm always for berating children.
I'm about to blow your minds.
Children.
I'm about to blow your minds.
do it better, buddy, but you I'm about to blow your minds.
do it better, buddy, but you got to do it better.
do it better, buddy, but you got to do it better.
ah! Oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
Got to do it better.
ah! Oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
help me, man.
ah! Oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
help me, man.
Give me a hand real quick.
Help me, man.
Give me a hand real quick.
Thank you, bud.
Give me a hand real quick.
Thank you, bud.
Whoop, whoop! Got your nose.
Thank you, bud.
Whoop, whoop! Got your nose.
[ laughter .]
Whoop, whoop! Got your nose.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna keep this right here.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna keep this right here.
you get points for flair, I'm gonna keep this right here.
you get points for flair, murray.
you get points for flair, murray.
all right, I got one for you.
Murray.
all right, I got one for you.
would you say you have a all right, I got one for you.
would you say you have a foolproof plan? would you say you have a foolproof plan? no, I wouldn't say that.
Foolproof plan? no, I wouldn't say that.
But I'll tell you one thing -- no, I wouldn't say that.
But I'll tell you one thing -- I'm gonna grab a nose that But I'll tell you one thing -- I'm gonna grab a nose that matters.
I'm gonna grab a nose that matters.
ooh.
Matters.
ooh.
[ majestic March plays .]
ooh.
[ majestic March plays .]
whoa! He's nimble.
[ majestic March plays .]
whoa! He's nimble.
[ laughs .]
whoa! He's nimble.
[ laughs .]
this is way scarier than I [ laughs .]
this is way scarier than I realized.
this is way scarier than I realized.
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
Realized.
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ breathing heavily .]
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ breathing heavily .]
oh, my god.
It's scary.
[ breathing heavily .]
oh, my god.
It's scary.
[ music continues .]
Oh, my god.
It's scary.
[ music continues .]
boom! I got your nose, bitch! [ music continues .]
boom! I got your nose, bitch! ohhh! Boom! I got your nose, bitch! ohhh! [ laughter .]
ohhh! [ laughter .]
what you gonna do? [ laughter .]
what you gonna do? I got a historical nose! what you gonna do? I got a historical nose! murr, the definition of that I got a historical nose! murr, the definition of that is better.
murr, the definition of that is better.
bam! Is better.
bam! [ ding! .]
q versus joe.
Which one of you can be more Affectionate to someone's pet? [ both laugh .]
I'm not a pet.
I'm not a pet.
[ laughter .]
aww, look at that, man.
Hey, you.
How you doing? Look at this one.
You're super cute.
Oh, my god.
How cute are you? What's his name? Dutch? Dutch.
Hey, dutch.
Ohh.
[ kissing .]
oh, q's got it.
Ohh.
[ kissing .]
oh, q's got it.
Oh, q's giving him little oh, q's got it.
Oh, q's giving him little kisses.
Oh, q's giving him little kisses.
q's more affectionate.
Kisses.
q's more affectionate.
wow.
q's more affectionate.
wow.
joe, your turn.
wow.
joe, your turn.
hey, dutch.
Hi, bud.
joe, your turn.
hey, dutch.
Hi, bud.
Are you a cuddler? hey, dutch.
Hi, bud.
Are you a cuddler? Are you a cuddler? Are you a cuddler? Are you a cuddler? yeah, big cuddler.
Are you a cuddler? yeah, big cuddler.
cuddly.
yeah, big cuddler.
cuddly.
[ speaking gibberish .]
cuddly.
[ speaking gibberish .]
[ laughing .]
oh, I love it.
[ speaking gibberish .]
[ laughing .]
oh, I love it.
I love it so much.
[ laughing .]
oh, I love it.
I love it so much.
Aww.
I love it so much.
Aww.
q's turn.
Aww.
q's turn.
[ romantic music plays .]
q's turn.
[ romantic music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ romantic music plays .]
[ laughter .]
this is coming close to a [ laughter .]
this is coming close to a line I'm not sure we want to this is coming close to a line I'm not sure we want to cross.
Line I'm not sure we want to cross.
I love you.
Mwah.
Cross.
I love you.
Mwah.
joe, at this point, you don't I love you.
Mwah.
joe, at this point, you don't have many options.
joe, at this point, you don't have many options.
at this point, I'd have to Have many options.
at this point, I'd have to straight-up [bleep.]
it.
at this point, I'd have to straight-up [bleep.]
it.
[ music sours, stops .]
Straight-up [bleep.]
it.
[ music sours, stops .]
dutch.
[ music sours, stops .]
dutch.
here we go.
dutch.
here we go.
What is he gonna do? here we go.
What is he gonna do? [ funky saxophone music plays .]
What is he gonna do? [ funky saxophone music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ funky saxophone music plays .]
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
he humped the dog.
Oh, my god.
he humped the dog.
you like that, dutch? he humped the dog.
you like that, dutch? [ laughter .]
you like that, dutch? [ laughter .]
joe takes that one on a [ laughter .]
joe takes that one on a straight hump.
joe takes that one on a straight hump.
I don't feel like a winner, Straight hump.
I don't feel like a winner, if I'm gonna be honest.
I don't feel like a winner, if I'm gonna be honest.
[ ding! .]
If I'm gonna be honest.
[ ding! .]
narrator: Things aren't [ ding! .]
narrator: Things aren't getting any better for murr.
narrator: Things aren't getting any better for murr.
He's tonight's big loser.
Getting any better for murr.
He's tonight's big loser.
ladies and gentlemen, it's He's tonight's big loser.
ladies and gentlemen, it's time for murr's punishment! ladies and gentlemen, it's time for murr's punishment! it's fight night at the Time for murr's punishment! it's fight night at the prudential center.
it's fight night at the prudential center.
that's right.
Prudential center.
that's right.
We can't put you in the ring and that's right.
We can't put you in the ring and have you killed by professional We can't put you in the ring and have you killed by professional boxers, but we are gonna put you Have you killed by professional boxers, but we are gonna put you in the ring in a ridiculous Boxers, but we are gonna put you in the ring in a ridiculous outfit in between the rounds.
In the ring in a ridiculous outfit in between the rounds.
you mean like a ring-card Outfit in between the rounds.
you mean like a ring-card girl? you mean like a ring-card girl? like a ring-card girl.
Girl? like a ring-card girl.
I should mention, we found the like a ring-card girl.
I should mention, we found the outfit in your closet.
I should mention, we found the outfit in your closet.
[ laughter .]
Outfit in your closet.
[ laughter .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughter .]
[ cheers and applause .]
this is -- this is new for us [ cheers and applause .]
this is -- this is new for us because this is a serious boxing this is -- this is new for us because this is a serious boxing event.
Because this is a serious boxing event.
this is a televised event.
Event.
this is a televised event.
[ bell dings .]
this is a televised event.
[ bell dings .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ bell dings .]
[ cheers and applause .]
these are real boxing fans [ cheers and applause .]
these are real boxing fans who love boxing who have no time these are real boxing fans who love boxing who have no time for nonsense.
Who love boxing who have no time for nonsense.
And whose middle name is For nonsense.
And whose middle name is nonsense? And whose middle name is nonsense? james nonsense murray.
Nonsense? james nonsense murray.
[ bell dings .]
james nonsense murray.
[ bell dings .]
all right, sexy, come on out.
[ bell dings .]
all right, sexy, come on out.
All right, sexy, come on out.
All right, sexy, come on out.
All right, sexy, come on out.
this -- this is not what ring All right, sexy, come on out.
this -- this is not what ring girls wear, just so you know.
this -- this is not what ring girls wear, just so you know.
here it goes.
Girls wear, just so you know.
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
[ show tunes-style music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ show tunes-style music plays .]
murr, you look like a -- like [ show tunes-style music plays .]
murr, you look like a -- like a homosexual ostrich that's been murr, you look like a -- like a homosexual ostrich that's been set loose.
A homosexual ostrich that's been set loose.
[ laughter .]
Set loose.
[ laughter .]
there's like -- there's [ laughter .]
there's like -- there's thousands of people here.
there's like -- there's thousands of people here.
there's less than a minute.
Thousands of people here.
there's less than a minute.
Less than a minute.
there's less than a minute.
Less than a minute.
I'm about to go in.
Less than a minute.
I'm about to go in.
[ bell dings .]
I'm about to go in.
[ bell dings .]
and round 1 in the books.
[ bell dings .]
and round 1 in the books.
oh [bleep.]
and round 1 in the books.
oh [bleep.]
oh, here we go.
Here we go.
oh [bleep.]
oh, here we go.
Here we go.
get in there, feathers mcgee.
oh, here we go.
Here we go.
get in there, feathers mcgee.
Nice boots.
get in there, feathers mcgee.
Nice boots.
look at his boots.
Nice boots.
look at his boots.
[ laughter .]
look at his boots.
[ laughter .]
shake your tail feather.
[ laughter .]
shake your tail feather.
Shake your tail feather.
shake your tail feather.
Shake your tail feather.
let's go, let's go.
Shake your tail feather.
let's go, let's go.
Make it sexy.
let's go, let's go.
Make it sexy.
yeah! Make it sexy.
yeah! this is a [bleep.]
disturbing yeah! this is a [bleep.]
disturbing thing.
this is a [bleep.]
disturbing thing.
oh, my god.
Thing.
oh, my god.
that's it? I'm done? oh, my god.
that's it? I'm done? Is it over? that's it? I'm done? Is it over? [ bell dings .]
Is it over? [ bell dings .]
oh [bleep.]
they've restarted.
[ bell dings .]
oh [bleep.]
they've restarted.
[ laughter .]
Oh [bleep.]
they've restarted.
[ laughter .]
come on, you got another [ laughter .]
come on, you got another costume to put on.
come on, you got another costume to put on.
Let's go! Costume to put on.
Let's go! there's four fights, buddy.
Let's go! there's four fights, buddy.
We're sending you into every there's four fights, buddy.
We're sending you into every one.
We're sending you into every one.
aw [bleep.]
One.
aw [bleep.]
sprint to the back.
aw [bleep.]
sprint to the back.
Look at him running.
sprint to the back.
Look at him running.
[ laughter .]
Look at him running.
[ laughter .]
[ audience cheering .]
[ laughter .]
[ audience cheering .]
next costume we're going [ audience cheering .]
next costume we're going with next costume we're going with The bra's all -- With The bra's all -- [ triumphant music plays .]
The bra's all -- [ triumphant music plays .]
[ bell dings .]
[ triumphant music plays .]
[ bell dings .]
there's the bell.
[ bell dings .]
there's the bell.
Get in there, bud.
there's the bell.
Get in there, bud.
Before we even hear from Get in there, bud.
Before we even hear from everybody at home, we know it's Before we even hear from everybody at home, we know it's not the right hair.
Everybody at home, we know it's not the right hair.
We just thought this was the Not the right hair.
We just thought this was the funnier hair.
We just thought this was the funnier hair.
we don't need to hear it, Funnier hair.
we don't need to hear it, nerds.
we don't need to hear it, nerds.
[ audience booing .]
Nerds.
[ audience booing .]
they're booing me.
Don't boo! [ audience booing .]
they're booing me.
Don't boo! listen to them.
they're booing me.
Don't boo! listen to them.
oh, my god.
listen to them.
oh, my god.
this is the stupidest thing oh, my god.
this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.
this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.
you know how much he hates I've ever done in my life.
you know how much he hates his hair like that, right? you know how much he hates his hair like that, right? yeah, yeah.
His hair like that, right? yeah, yeah.
do you think he would take yeah, yeah.
do you think he would take that hair permanently for the do you think he would take that hair permanently for the rest of his life if it was his That hair permanently for the rest of his life if it was his real hair? Rest of his life if it was his real hair? so he couldn't cut it and Real hair? so he couldn't cut it and style it? so he couldn't cut it and style it? no, but he would have a full Style it? no, but he would have a full head of hair.
no, but he would have a full head of hair.
Do you think he would take it? Head of hair.
Do you think he would take it? I think he would.
Do you think he would take it? I think he would.
I think he should.
I think he would.
I think he should.
[ bell dings .]
I think he should.
[ bell dings .]
[bleep.]
[ bell dings .]
[bleep.]
is that it? [bleep.]
is that it? Please, that's it, right? Is that it? Please, that's it, right? come back.
Please, that's it, right? come back.
We'll get you dressed for the come back.
We'll get you dressed for the next fight.
We'll get you dressed for the next fight.
come on! Next fight.
come on! [ audience cheering .]
come on! [ audience cheering .]
[ bell dings .]
[ audience cheering .]
[ bell dings .]
now, this next one is we [ bell dings .]
now, this next one is we watched "die hard 3" a lot.
now, this next one is we watched "die hard 3" a lot.
yeah.
Watched "die hard 3" a lot.
yeah.
that's basically what yeah.
that's basically what happened.
that's basically what happened.
holy [bleep.]
Happened.
holy [bleep.]
yeah.
holy [bleep.]
yeah.
it's a simple sign.
yeah.
it's a simple sign.
[ bell dings .]
it's a simple sign.
[ bell dings .]
time! [ bell dings .]
time! oh, my god.
time! oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
read your sign.
[ laughs .]
read your sign.
[ audience booing .]
read your sign.
[ audience booing .]
I hate boxing! [ audience booing .]
I hate boxing! Round 3.
I hate boxing! Round 3.
you make these people believe Round 3.
you make these people believe that you hate boxing.
you make these people believe that you hate boxing.
yeah! Yeah! That you hate boxing.
yeah! Yeah! [ booing intensifies .]
yeah! Yeah! [ booing intensifies .]
get up -- yeah, get up on the [ booing intensifies .]
get up -- yeah, get up on the ropes.
get up -- yeah, get up on the ropes.
[ laughter .]
Ropes.
[ laughter .]
yeah! I hate boxing! [ laughter .]
yeah! I hate boxing! I hate -- [bleep.]
yeah! I hate boxing! I hate -- [bleep.]
I hate it! All right.
[bleep.]
I hate -- [bleep.]
I hate it! All right.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
I hate it! All right.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
get your [bleep.]
and get out.
[ laughter .]
get your [bleep.]
and get out.
oh, my god.
get your [bleep.]
and get out.
oh, my god.
[ bell dings .]
oh, my god.
[ bell dings .]
come on, we got something [ bell dings .]
come on, we got something else for you.
come on, we got something else for you.
Scurry out, you little ferret.
Else for you.
Scurry out, you little ferret.
can you guys take a minute to Scurry out, you little ferret.
can you guys take a minute to appreciate that we have the best can you guys take a minute to appreciate that we have the best job in the world? Appreciate that we have the best job in the world? I do appreciate that.
Job in the world? I do appreciate that.
look at what we're doing to I do appreciate that.
look at what we're doing to this idiot.
look at what we're doing to this idiot.
we're just three best friends This idiot.
we're just three best friends since high school.
we're just three best friends since high school.
[ both laugh .]
Since high school.
[ both laugh .]
all right, here's the final [ both laugh .]
all right, here's the final fight.
all right, here's the final fight.
Get out there, murr.
Fight.
Get out there, murr.
all right.
Get out there, murr.
all right.
this is our most creative all right.
this is our most creative outfit, I think, fellas.
this is our most creative outfit, I think, fellas.
The majestic centaur.
Outfit, I think, fellas.
The majestic centaur.
[ laughter .]
The majestic centaur.
[ laughter .]
kill the centaur! [ laughter .]
kill the centaur! they say they're gonna kill kill the centaur! they say they're gonna kill the centaur.
they say they're gonna kill the centaur.
yes, kill the centaur! Yes! The centaur.
yes, kill the centaur! Yes! that's a sentence that that yes, kill the centaur! Yes! that's a sentence that that man did not think he was gonna that's a sentence that that man did not think he was gonna when he left the house.
Man did not think he was gonna when he left the house.
[ bell dings .]
When he left the house.
[ bell dings .]
time! [ bell dings .]
time! there you go, bud.
time! there you go, bud.
oh [bleep.]
me.
there you go, bud.
oh [bleep.]
me.
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
me.
[ laughter .]
[ audience booing .]
[ laughter .]
[ audience booing .]
prance around and go, "I'm a [ audience booing .]
prance around and go, "I'm a centaur!" prance around and go, "I'm a centaur!" I'm a centaur! I'm a centaur! Centaur!" I'm a centaur! I'm a centaur! look at him.
He's galloping.
I'm a centaur! I'm a centaur! look at him.
He's galloping.
Gallop, you [bleep.]
look at him.
He's galloping.
Gallop, you [bleep.]
gallop! Gallop, you [bleep.]
Gallop, you [bleep.]
gallop! Gallop, you [bleep.]
get your gallop on! Gallop! Gallop, you [bleep.]
get your gallop on! Sal's knocked out.
Get your gallop on! Sal's knocked out.
murr from Sal's knocked out.
murr from "impractical jokers" on trutv.
that broadcasted live.
that went out live, you Idiot.
That went out live! never mind the thousands of People in here, the whole world Just saw it.
Well done.
Well done.
wow.
Gallop out.
all right, well, punishment's Over.
I would say it was a knockout.
[ laughter .]
He's gonna die.
Ledge? oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ both laugh .]
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ both laugh .]
narrator: Why is "murr" [ both laugh .]
narrator: Why is "murr" taking cover? narrator: Why is "murr" taking cover? just try to Taking cover? just try to [ laughter .]
just try to [ laughter .]
[ bell dings .]
[ laughter .]
[ bell dings .]
narrator: And which joker [ bell dings .]
narrator: And which joker will be up against the ropes in narrator: And which joker will be up against the ropes in tonight's punishment? Will be up against the ropes in tonight's punishment? [ laughter .]
Tonight's punishment? [ laughter .]
[ crowd booing .]
[ laughter .]
[ crowd booing .]
prepare for something [ crowd booing .]
prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today we're at efinger sporting goods company, working the sales floor.
while helping customers, We'll have to do and say what The other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say Anything, you lose.
[ knocking .]
what is that? [ laughs .]
that's just me -- murr.
[ laughter .]
Hi, guys, what are you looking For? "I feel like a prostitute.
" [ laughs .]
he likes goalie? That's great.
I feel like a prostitute.
[ record scratches .]
I feel like a prostitute.
[ record scratches .]
[ laughter .]
[ record scratches .]
[ laughter .]
we had a legit double take! [ laughter .]
we had a legit double take! [ record scratches .]
we had a legit double take! [ record scratches .]
does that mean he's in the [ record scratches .]
does that mean he's in the mood for a prostitute, or he does that mean he's in the mood for a prostitute, or he feels like he is a prostitute? Mood for a prostitute, or he feels like he is a prostitute? oh, that's true.
Feels like he is a prostitute? oh, that's true.
[ laughter .]
oh, that's true.
[ laughter .]
the woman over there [ laughter .]
the woman over there Just take the ball from her.
the woman over there Just take the ball from her.
Steal it.
Just take the ball from her.
Steal it.
Just steal it from her.
Steal it.
Just steal it from her.
[ indistinct conversation .]
Just steal it from her.
[ indistinct conversation .]
oh.
[ indistinct conversation .]
oh.
[ laughter .]
oh.
[ laughter .]
go give her another different [ laughter .]
go give her another different ball.
go give her another different ball.
oh, my god.
Ball.
oh, my god.
that's a 14-pound medicine oh, my god.
that's a 14-pound medicine ball.
that's a 14-pound medicine ball.
nice shoe.
Here you go.
ohh! [ laughter .]
hi, guys.
What are you looking for? a tennis outfit.
What are you looking for? a tennis outfit.
you're looking for a tennis a tennis outfit.
you're looking for a tennis outfit? you're looking for a tennis outfit? get confused with a sleeping Outfit? get confused with a sleeping bad and a tennis outfit.
get confused with a sleeping bad and a tennis outfit.
[ laughter .]
Bad and a tennis outfit.
[ laughter .]
we're over here.
Okay.
[ laughter .]
we're over here.
Okay.
Pretty sure we're over here.
Okay.
Pretty sure Let's see if this works.
Pretty sure Let's see if this works.
Here, put your arms up.
Let's see if this works.
Here, put your arms up.
This is the tennis outfit, Here, put your arms up.
This is the tennis outfit, right? This is the tennis outfit, right? [ laughter .]
Right? [ laughter .]
where -- let me see if it fits.
[ laughter .]
where -- let me see if it fits.
[ laughs .]
Where -- let me see if it fits.
[ laughs .]
okay, that seems like it's [ laughs .]
okay, that seems like it's the right size.
okay, that seems like it's the right size.
Now swing the racket.
The right size.
Now swing the racket.
Let me see if that Now swing the racket.
Let me see if that No, I think this is -- no, Let me see if that No, I think this is -- no, you're a medium for sure.
No, I think this is -- no, you're a medium for sure.
[ laughs .]
You're a medium for sure.
[ laughs .]
now crawl into the sleeping [ laughs .]
now crawl into the sleeping bag.
now crawl into the sleeping bag.
[ laughter .]
Bag.
[ laughter .]
and knock everything over.
[ laughter .]
and knock everything over.
[ laughter .]
And knock everything over.
[ laughter .]
this is more [ laughter .]
this is more [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
"at this point, I'm stuck.
" at this point, I'm stuck.
"at this point, I'm stuck.
" at this point, I'm stuck.
Can you -- can you help me out? at this point, I'm stuck.
Can you -- can you help me out? Just try to Can you -- can you help me out? Just try to [ laughs .]
Just try to [ laughs .]
just pull.
Pull harder.
[ laughs .]
just pull.
Pull harder.
Yeah, keep just pull.
Pull harder.
Yeah, keep [ laughs .]
Yeah, keep [ laughs .]
"little girl, could you [ laughs .]
"little girl, could you help?" "little girl, could you help?" little girl, could you help, Help?" little girl, could you help, too, please? little girl, could you help, too, please? Just grip my legs.
Too, please? Just grip my legs.
Pull by the legs.
Just grip my legs.
Pull by the legs.
Almost! Oh, progress! Pull by the legs.
Almost! Oh, progress! [ laughter .]
Almost! Oh, progress! [ laughter .]
ah! Thank [ laughter .]
ah! Thank now just run away as fast as ah! Thank now just run away as fast as you can.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh, oh, grab these kids in the hood.
hey.
The hood.
hey.
"you ever french-kiss a hey.
"you ever french-kiss a baseball glove, guys?" "you ever french-kiss a baseball glove, guys?" [ chuckles .]
Baseball glove, guys?" [ chuckles .]
you ever french-kiss a baseball [ chuckles .]
you ever french-kiss a baseball glove? You ever french-kiss a baseball glove? "it's almost like the real Glove? "it's almost like the real deal.
" "it's almost like the real deal.
" it's almost like the real Deal.
" it's almost like the real deal.
it's almost like the real deal.
do you guys want to see a Deal.
do you guys want to see a dead body? do you guys want to see a dead body? guys want to see a dead body? Dead body? guys want to see a dead body? [ laughs .]
guys want to see a dead body? [ laughs .]
"you ever french-kiss one?" [ laughs .]
"you ever french-kiss one?" [ whir! .]
no, he can't do it! [ buzzer! .]
[ laughter .]
sal, grab those binoculars.
[ chuckles .]
there you go, sal.
Look to your left, left, left, left.
Look to your left, left, left, left.
[ whir! .]
Left.
[ whir! .]
[ laughter .]
[ whir! .]
[ laughter .]
observe in the wild.
[ laughter .]
observe in the wild.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
so weird! look at this guy.
so weird! look at this guy.
[ tribal music plays .]
look at this guy.
[ tribal music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ tribal music plays .]
[ laughter .]
blend in.
[ laughter .]
blend in.
[ laughter .]
blend in.
[ laughter .]
you're not sure what creature [ laughter .]
you're not sure what creature he might be, so you need to lure you're not sure what creature he might be, so you need to lure him.
He might be, so you need to lure him.
yeah, try a duck call.
Him.
yeah, try a duck call.
quack! yeah, try a duck call.
quack! [ laughter .]
quack! [ laughter .]
observe in nature.
[ laughter .]
observe in nature.
[ music continues .]
observe in nature.
[ music continues .]
[ trumpets .]
[ music continues .]
[ trumpets .]
[ laughter .]
[ trumpets .]
[ laughter .]
dude, do it again, sal.
[ laughter .]
dude, do it again, sal.
Do it again.
ribbet! Ribbet! [ laughter .]
he looks like he's -- he looks like a creepy he looks like he's -- he looks like a creepy referee.
he looks like a creepy referee.
you know what the problem is? Referee.
you know what the problem is? I think, sal, that shirt isn't you know what the problem is? I think, sal, that shirt isn't good camouflage.
I think, sal, that shirt isn't good camouflage.
Right behind you, hanging, Good camouflage.
Right behind you, hanging, there's a full camouflage Right behind you, hanging, there's a full camouflage outfit.
There's a full camouflage outfit.
Put it on.
Outfit.
Put it on.
[ laughter .]
Put it on.
[ laughter .]
[ high-pitched .]
hippo! [ laughter .]
[ high-pitched .]
hippo! [ laughter .]
"can you see me right now?" can you see me right now? uhYeah.
can you see me right now? uhYeah.
hoo-hoo! uhYeah.
hoo-hoo! [ laughter .]
hoo-hoo! [ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
you guys need help with Anything? Okay.
start using all new lingo, q, all right? so, you guys want your, uh, All right? so, you guys want your, uh, dancing clothes to be on fleek? so, you guys want your, uh, dancing clothes to be on fleek? yeah.
Dancing clothes to be on fleek? yeah.
yep.
Got it.
Got it.
yeah.
yep.
Got it.
Got it.
[ chuckles .]
yep.
Got it.
Got it.
[ chuckles .]
twerk.
[ chuckles .]
twerk.
[ laughter .]
twerk.
[ laughter .]
"I just started dating [ laughter .]
"I just started dating this -- this lady.
"I just started dating this -- this lady.
She's got a kid.
" This -- this lady.
She's got a kid.
" I just started dating this She's got a kid.
" I just started dating this lady.
I just started dating this lady.
mm-hmm.
Lady.
mm-hmm.
she's got, like, a kid.
mm-hmm.
she's got, like, a kid.
"I'm just trying to connect she's got, like, a kid.
"I'm just trying to connect with it.
" "I'm just trying to connect with it.
" I'm just trying to connect With it.
" I'm just trying to connect with it.
I'm just trying to connect with it.
I took it -- like, I took it to With it.
I took it -- like, I took it to the movie.
I took it -- like, I took it to the movie.
I got it -- I got it, uh, like, The movie.
I got it -- I got it, uh, like, those chocolate-covered raisins.
I got it -- I got it, uh, like, those chocolate-covered raisins.
"it loved those.
" Those chocolate-covered raisins.
"it loved those.
" it loved those.
"it loved those.
" it loved those.
it? it loved those.
it? yeah.
it? yeah.
[ laughter .]
yeah.
[ laughter .]
if I'm gonna get in with bae, I [ laughter .]
if I'm gonna get in with bae, I got to pretend to like this If I'm gonna get in with bae, I got to pretend to like this thing.
Got to pretend to like this thing.
so, can I give you a tip Thing.
so, can I give you a tip first? so, can I give you a tip first? yeah.
First? yeah.
maybe you should stop calling yeah.
maybe you should stop calling the daughter "it.
" maybe you should stop calling the daughter "it.
" I'm not exactly sure that The daughter "it.
" I'm not exactly sure that it's a daughter.
I'm not exactly sure that it's a daughter.
does it have long hair? It's a daughter.
does it have long hair? right, well, don't call it does it have long hair? right, well, don't call it "it.
" right, well, don't call it "it.
" that's rude.
"it.
" that's rude.
[ laughter .]
That's rude.
[ laughter .]
what, uh -- what sort of [ laughter .]
what, uh -- what sort of activity are you looking at? q, see the mannequin over there? It's looking good.
There? It's looking good.
[ chuckles .]
It's looking good.
[ chuckles .]
what do you think of that, uh -- [ chuckles .]
what do you think of that, uh -- what do you think of that dress? What do you think of that, uh -- what do you think of that dress? [ laughs .]
What do you think of that dress? [ laughs .]
on the mannequin, to me, it [ laughs .]
on the mannequin, to me, it looks hot.
on the mannequin, to me, it looks hot.
[ laughs .]
Looks hot.
[ laughs .]
you see? And, like, look.
[ laughs .]
you see? And, like, look.
Here's the thing, though, about you see? And, like, look.
Here's the thing, though, about it.
Here's the thing, though, about it.
"mannequin looks even better It.
"mannequin looks even better with the dress off.
" "mannequin looks even better with the dress off.
" oh, my god.
With the dress off.
" oh, my god.
Here's -- here's the thing about oh, my god.
Here's -- here's the thing about the mannequin, though.
Here's -- here's the thing about the mannequin, though.
If you take the dress off it, The mannequin, though.
If you take the dress off it, all right? If you take the dress off it, all right? So -- so, now you got that, but All right? So -- so, now you got that, but now you don't even need the So -- so, now you got that, but now you don't even need the dress.
Now you don't even need the dress.
Now just look at that mannequin.
Dress.
Now just look at that mannequin.
That's got stumps in all the Now just look at that mannequin.
That's got stumps in all the right places, you know what I That's got stumps in all the right places, you know what I mean? Right places, you know what I mean? [ laughs .]
oh, I've taken it home, and they keep making me return it.
I drilled this hole in it.
They keep making me return it.
I drilled this hole in it.
you take this home?! I drilled this hole in it.
you take this home?! I drilled that hole in it, you take this home?! I drilled that hole in it, and I drilled that hole in it.
I drilled that hole in it, and I drilled that hole in it.
"I don't have a drill.
" And I drilled that hole in it.
"I don't have a drill.
" [ laughter .]
"I don't have a drill.
" [ laughter .]
I didn't even use a drill.
[ laughter .]
I didn't even use a drill.
[ laughter .]
I didn't even use a drill.
[ laughter .]
cool.
Have a good day.
[ laughter .]
cool.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
Cool.
Have a good day.
Have a good day.
you, too.
Have a good day.
you, too.
thank you.
you, too.
thank you.
pick it up and walk away.
thank you.
pick it up and walk away.
[ laughter .]
pick it up and walk away.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
Joe, pick up that mannequin Head.
Pop it in your shirt so you look Like a mannequin.
wear it like a mask.
now zip up your hoodie, bud.
Now zip up your hoodie, bud.
now zip up your hoodie, bud.
Now zip up your hoodie, bud.
yeah, yeah.
Now zip up your hoodie, bud.
yeah, yeah.
oh, my god! yeah, yeah.
oh, my god! yeah! oh, my god! yeah! oh, my god! yeah! oh, my god! joe, do you think that if you oh, my god! joe, do you think that if you could stand really still and joe, do you think that if you could stand really still and people would think you're a Could stand really still and people would think you're a mannequin? People would think you're a mannequin? [ chuckles .]
Mannequin? [ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
Wow.
This is weird.
oh, my god.
Wow.
This is weird.
Oh! There's a kid walking up to Wow.
This is weird.
Oh! There's a kid walking up to you.
Oh! There's a kid walking up to you.
Stay still.
Stay still.
You.
Stay still.
Stay still.
[ laughter .]
Stay still.
Stay still.
[ laughter .]
the kid just looked back.
[ laughter .]
the kid just looked back.
joe, make a noise.
The kid just looked back.
joe, make a noise.
Make a noise.
joe, make a noise.
Make a noise.
rah! Make a noise.
rah! [ laughter .]
Rah! [ laughter .]
you just scared the [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
you just scared the [bleep.]
out of them.
"oh, disgusting.
" [ scoffs .]
those are disgusting.
[ scoffs .]
those are disgusting.
[ laughter .]
Those are disgusting.
[ laughter .]
"you want to put these on [ laughter .]
"you want to put these on your feet?!" "you want to put these on your feet?!" do you want to put these on Your feet?!" do you want to put these on your feet? do you want to put these on your feet? Disgusting.
Your feet? Disgusting.
'cause this is -- this must be Disgusting.
'cause this is -- this must be the glue, right? 'cause this is -- this must be the glue, right? Disgusting.
The glue, right? Disgusting.
[ laughter .]
Disgusting.
[ laughter .]
joe, just start dancing like [ laughter .]
joe, just start dancing like you're at a wedding.
joe, just start dancing like you're at a wedding.
because the ones over here -- You're at a wedding.
because the ones over here -- they have a little bit, but the because the ones over here -- they have a little bit, but the glue is on these.
They have a little bit, but the glue is on these.
These aren't that bad.
Glue is on these.
These aren't that bad.
I mean, you could, you know -- These aren't that bad.
I mean, you could, you know -- all of them -- I mean, you could, you know -- all of them -- wait.
All of them -- wait.
What size are those? wait.
What size are those? these here? What size are those? these here? Those are these here? Those are keep doing it, joe.
Those are keep doing it, joe.
Just keep doing it.
keep doing it, joe.
Just keep doing it.
these are the 9.
Just keep doing it.
these are the 9.
These are the 8's.
these are the 9.
These are the 8's.
I don't know what size shoe you These are the 8's.
I don't know what size shoe you are.
I don't know what size shoe you are.
But if they fit, then they're on Are.
But if they fit, then they're on sale.
But if they fit, then they're on sale.
They're a good -- joe, get a name.
Joe, get her name.
what was your name? I'm sorry, hon.
Angelica.
I'm joe.
Nice to see you.
joe, go right back where you Were behind that -- behind that Right there.
Peek out and just go, "angelica.
" angelica.
[ laughing .]
do it again.
angelica.
Angelica.
[ laughter .]
angelica.
[ laughter .]
angelica.
Disgusting.
Angelica.
Disgusting.
[ ding! .]
Disgusting.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: Murr didn't have [ laughter .]
narrator: Murr didn't have the goods, so he's first up on narrator: Murr didn't have the goods, so he's first up on the loser board.
The goods, so he's first up on the loser board.
today, we're on the streets, The loser board.
today, we're on the streets, competing head-to-head, playing today, we're on the streets, competing head-to-head, playing a little game that we like to Competing head-to-head, playing a little game that we like to call "do it better.
" now, two of us will be given A task, and the goal will be to Do that task better than the Other guy.
whoever does it better wins.
side note -- murr's nephews are on set today.
all: Be a better uncle! Are on set today.
all: Be a better uncle! ferret! all: Be a better uncle! ferret! [ laughter .]
ferret! [ laughter .]
the "ferret" was a nice [ laughter .]
the "ferret" was a nice touch.
the name of the game is "do it better.
" "do it better.
" you got to do it better.
keeps going till somebody Doesn't do it better.
and we are the judge.
I love being the judge.
me, too.
all right.
all right, guys.
Steal somebody's nose.
oh, like the old, uh "oop! Got your nose.
" first you got to figure out "oop! Got your nose.
" first you got to figure out how you can be better at it.
first you got to figure out how you can be better at it.
And then you have to actually do How you can be better at it.
And then you have to actually do it, so have fun.
And then you have to actually do it, so have fun.
my parents didn't want to It, so have fun.
my parents didn't want to play this with me when I was my parents didn't want to play this with me when I was younger 'cause they didn't want Play this with me when I was younger 'cause they didn't want to throw their back out.
Younger 'cause they didn't want to throw their back out.
[ laughter .]
To throw their back out.
[ laughter .]
excuse me.
[ laughter .]
excuse me.
I have a question for you.
excuse me.
I have a question for you.
sure.
I have a question for you.
sure.
did you ever get your nose sure.
did you ever get your nose stolen before? did you ever get your nose stolen before? no.
Stolen before? no.
okay, I want to let you know no.
okay, I want to let you know something.
okay, I want to let you know something.
I got your nose! Something.
I got your nose! [ laughter .]
I got your nose! [ laughter .]
she just went on her way.
[ laughter .]
she just went on her way.
She looks like skeletor now.
She just went on her way.
She looks like skeletor now.
[ laughter .]
She looks like skeletor now.
[ laughter .]
all right, buddy.
[ laughter .]
all right, buddy.
You got to beat that.
All right, buddy.
You got to beat that.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
You got to beat that.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
do it better.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
do it better.
do it better.
do it better.
do it better.
[ chuckles .]
do it better.
[ chuckles .]
uh-huh? [ chuckles .]
uh-huh? Yeah? uh-huh? Yeah? Yeah? Got it.
Okay.
Yeah? Yeah? Got it.
Okay.
I'll get him, tony.
Yeah? Got it.
Okay.
I'll get him, tony.
Hey, guys.
I'll get him, tony.
Hey, guys.
Uh, I'm -- I'm with the -- the Hey, guys.
Uh, I'm -- I'm with the -- the car over here.
Uh, I'm -- I'm with the -- the car over here.
what are -- what are you, Car over here.
what are -- what are you, michael knight? what are -- what are you, michael knight? [ laughter .]
Michael knight? [ laughter .]
we were receiving reports of [ laughter .]
we were receiving reports of two noses that are out of we were receiving reports of two noses that are out of control in the park, so I'm Two noses that are out of control in the park, so I'm gonna have to take possession of Control in the park, so I'm gonna have to take possession of these two noses real quick.
Gonna have to take possession of these two noses real quick.
Boop! I got 'em.
Okay.
These two noses real quick.
Boop! I got 'em.
Okay.
We're gonna hold onto these Boop! I got 'em.
Okay.
We're gonna hold onto these until you guys feel you can use We're gonna hold onto these until you guys feel you can use them responsibly.
Until you guys feel you can use them responsibly.
Thank you.
Them responsibly.
Thank you.
oh! Double nose! Thank you.
oh! Double nose! a double nose! oh! Double nose! a double nose! [ laughter .]
a double nose! [ laughter .]
did that top me? [ laughter .]
did that top me? that topped you, buddy.
did that top me? that topped you, buddy.
Definitely.
that topped you, buddy.
Definitely.
two -- two noses? Definitely.
two -- two noses? two noses.
two -- two noses? two noses.
yeah, but -- but I don't want two noses.
yeah, but -- but I don't want you guys to get confused.
yeah, but -- but I don't want you guys to get confused.
This isn't about the most noses.
You guys to get confused.
This isn't about the most noses.
no, no, no.
This isn't about the most noses.
no, no, no.
Be better.
no, no, no.
Be better.
just be better at it.
Be better.
just be better at it.
it's a better way of getting just be better at it.
it's a better way of getting a nose.
it's a better way of getting a nose.
so, I'm gonna do something I A nose.
so, I'm gonna do something I normally would not do.
so, I'm gonna do something I normally would not do.
eat a salad? Normally would not do.
eat a salad? [ both laugh .]
eat a salad? [ both laugh .]
come on.
[ both laugh .]
come on.
You tossed that up.
Come on.
You tossed that up.
I'm gonna come in with the You tossed that up.
I'm gonna come in with the spike.
I'm gonna come in with the spike.
oh! Spike.
oh! I got your nose, you little oh! I got your nose, you little bastard! I got your nose, you little bastard! [ laughs .]
Bastard! [ laughs .]
you can't even get it back [ laughs .]
you can't even get it back 'cause you're a kid and I'm an You can't even get it back 'cause you're a kid and I'm an adult! 'cause you're a kid and I'm an adult! Yes! Adult! Yes! congratulations on berating Yes! congratulations on berating and harassing a child, sal.
congratulations on berating and harassing a child, sal.
I would consider that better.
And harassing a child, sal.
I would consider that better.
oh, yeah.
I would consider that better.
oh, yeah.
I'm always for berating oh, yeah.
I'm always for berating children.
I'm always for berating children.
I'm about to blow your minds.
Children.
I'm about to blow your minds.
do it better, buddy, but you I'm about to blow your minds.
do it better, buddy, but you got to do it better.
do it better, buddy, but you got to do it better.
ah! Oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
Got to do it better.
ah! Oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
help me, man.
ah! Oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
help me, man.
Give me a hand real quick.
Help me, man.
Give me a hand real quick.
Thank you, bud.
Give me a hand real quick.
Thank you, bud.
Whoop, whoop! Got your nose.
Thank you, bud.
Whoop, whoop! Got your nose.
[ laughter .]
Whoop, whoop! Got your nose.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna keep this right here.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna keep this right here.
you get points for flair, I'm gonna keep this right here.
you get points for flair, murray.
you get points for flair, murray.
all right, I got one for you.
Murray.
all right, I got one for you.
would you say you have a all right, I got one for you.
would you say you have a foolproof plan? would you say you have a foolproof plan? no, I wouldn't say that.
Foolproof plan? no, I wouldn't say that.
But I'll tell you one thing -- no, I wouldn't say that.
But I'll tell you one thing -- I'm gonna grab a nose that But I'll tell you one thing -- I'm gonna grab a nose that matters.
I'm gonna grab a nose that matters.
ooh.
Matters.
ooh.
[ majestic March plays .]
ooh.
[ majestic March plays .]
whoa! He's nimble.
[ majestic March plays .]
whoa! He's nimble.
[ laughs .]
whoa! He's nimble.
[ laughs .]
this is way scarier than I [ laughs .]
this is way scarier than I realized.
this is way scarier than I realized.
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
Realized.
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ breathing heavily .]
oh, my god.
He's gonna die.
[ breathing heavily .]
oh, my god.
It's scary.
[ breathing heavily .]
oh, my god.
It's scary.
[ music continues .]
Oh, my god.
It's scary.
[ music continues .]
boom! I got your nose, bitch! [ music continues .]
boom! I got your nose, bitch! ohhh! Boom! I got your nose, bitch! ohhh! [ laughter .]
ohhh! [ laughter .]
what you gonna do? [ laughter .]
what you gonna do? I got a historical nose! what you gonna do? I got a historical nose! murr, the definition of that I got a historical nose! murr, the definition of that is better.
murr, the definition of that is better.
bam! Is better.
bam! [ ding! .]
q versus joe.
Which one of you can be more Affectionate to someone's pet? [ both laugh .]
I'm not a pet.
I'm not a pet.
[ laughter .]
aww, look at that, man.
Hey, you.
How you doing? Look at this one.
You're super cute.
Oh, my god.
How cute are you? What's his name? Dutch? Dutch.
Hey, dutch.
Ohh.
[ kissing .]
oh, q's got it.
Ohh.
[ kissing .]
oh, q's got it.
Oh, q's giving him little oh, q's got it.
Oh, q's giving him little kisses.
Oh, q's giving him little kisses.
q's more affectionate.
Kisses.
q's more affectionate.
wow.
q's more affectionate.
wow.
joe, your turn.
wow.
joe, your turn.
hey, dutch.
Hi, bud.
joe, your turn.
hey, dutch.
Hi, bud.
Are you a cuddler? hey, dutch.
Hi, bud.
Are you a cuddler? Are you a cuddler? Are you a cuddler? Are you a cuddler? yeah, big cuddler.
Are you a cuddler? yeah, big cuddler.
cuddly.
yeah, big cuddler.
cuddly.
[ speaking gibberish .]
cuddly.
[ speaking gibberish .]
[ laughing .]
oh, I love it.
[ speaking gibberish .]
[ laughing .]
oh, I love it.
I love it so much.
[ laughing .]
oh, I love it.
I love it so much.
Aww.
I love it so much.
Aww.
q's turn.
Aww.
q's turn.
[ romantic music plays .]
q's turn.
[ romantic music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ romantic music plays .]
[ laughter .]
this is coming close to a [ laughter .]
this is coming close to a line I'm not sure we want to this is coming close to a line I'm not sure we want to cross.
Line I'm not sure we want to cross.
I love you.
Mwah.
Cross.
I love you.
Mwah.
joe, at this point, you don't I love you.
Mwah.
joe, at this point, you don't have many options.
joe, at this point, you don't have many options.
at this point, I'd have to Have many options.
at this point, I'd have to straight-up [bleep.]
it.
at this point, I'd have to straight-up [bleep.]
it.
[ music sours, stops .]
Straight-up [bleep.]
it.
[ music sours, stops .]
dutch.
[ music sours, stops .]
dutch.
here we go.
dutch.
here we go.
What is he gonna do? here we go.
What is he gonna do? [ funky saxophone music plays .]
What is he gonna do? [ funky saxophone music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ funky saxophone music plays .]
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
he humped the dog.
Oh, my god.
he humped the dog.
you like that, dutch? he humped the dog.
you like that, dutch? [ laughter .]
you like that, dutch? [ laughter .]
joe takes that one on a [ laughter .]
joe takes that one on a straight hump.
joe takes that one on a straight hump.
I don't feel like a winner, Straight hump.
I don't feel like a winner, if I'm gonna be honest.
I don't feel like a winner, if I'm gonna be honest.
[ ding! .]
If I'm gonna be honest.
[ ding! .]
narrator: Things aren't [ ding! .]
narrator: Things aren't getting any better for murr.
narrator: Things aren't getting any better for murr.
He's tonight's big loser.
Getting any better for murr.
He's tonight's big loser.
ladies and gentlemen, it's He's tonight's big loser.
ladies and gentlemen, it's time for murr's punishment! ladies and gentlemen, it's time for murr's punishment! it's fight night at the Time for murr's punishment! it's fight night at the prudential center.
it's fight night at the prudential center.
that's right.
Prudential center.
that's right.
We can't put you in the ring and that's right.
We can't put you in the ring and have you killed by professional We can't put you in the ring and have you killed by professional boxers, but we are gonna put you Have you killed by professional boxers, but we are gonna put you in the ring in a ridiculous Boxers, but we are gonna put you in the ring in a ridiculous outfit in between the rounds.
In the ring in a ridiculous outfit in between the rounds.
you mean like a ring-card Outfit in between the rounds.
you mean like a ring-card girl? you mean like a ring-card girl? like a ring-card girl.
Girl? like a ring-card girl.
I should mention, we found the like a ring-card girl.
I should mention, we found the outfit in your closet.
I should mention, we found the outfit in your closet.
[ laughter .]
Outfit in your closet.
[ laughter .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughter .]
[ cheers and applause .]
this is -- this is new for us [ cheers and applause .]
this is -- this is new for us because this is a serious boxing this is -- this is new for us because this is a serious boxing event.
Because this is a serious boxing event.
this is a televised event.
Event.
this is a televised event.
[ bell dings .]
this is a televised event.
[ bell dings .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ bell dings .]
[ cheers and applause .]
these are real boxing fans [ cheers and applause .]
these are real boxing fans who love boxing who have no time these are real boxing fans who love boxing who have no time for nonsense.
Who love boxing who have no time for nonsense.
And whose middle name is For nonsense.
And whose middle name is nonsense? And whose middle name is nonsense? james nonsense murray.
Nonsense? james nonsense murray.
[ bell dings .]
james nonsense murray.
[ bell dings .]
all right, sexy, come on out.
[ bell dings .]
all right, sexy, come on out.
All right, sexy, come on out.
All right, sexy, come on out.
All right, sexy, come on out.
this -- this is not what ring All right, sexy, come on out.
this -- this is not what ring girls wear, just so you know.
this -- this is not what ring girls wear, just so you know.
here it goes.
Girls wear, just so you know.
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
here it goes.
[ laughter .]
[ show tunes-style music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ show tunes-style music plays .]
murr, you look like a -- like [ show tunes-style music plays .]
murr, you look like a -- like a homosexual ostrich that's been murr, you look like a -- like a homosexual ostrich that's been set loose.
A homosexual ostrich that's been set loose.
[ laughter .]
Set loose.
[ laughter .]
there's like -- there's [ laughter .]
there's like -- there's thousands of people here.
there's like -- there's thousands of people here.
there's less than a minute.
Thousands of people here.
there's less than a minute.
Less than a minute.
there's less than a minute.
Less than a minute.
I'm about to go in.
Less than a minute.
I'm about to go in.
[ bell dings .]
I'm about to go in.
[ bell dings .]
and round 1 in the books.
[ bell dings .]
and round 1 in the books.
oh [bleep.]
and round 1 in the books.
oh [bleep.]
oh, here we go.
Here we go.
oh [bleep.]
oh, here we go.
Here we go.
get in there, feathers mcgee.
oh, here we go.
Here we go.
get in there, feathers mcgee.
Nice boots.
get in there, feathers mcgee.
Nice boots.
look at his boots.
Nice boots.
look at his boots.
[ laughter .]
look at his boots.
[ laughter .]
shake your tail feather.
[ laughter .]
shake your tail feather.
Shake your tail feather.
shake your tail feather.
Shake your tail feather.
let's go, let's go.
Shake your tail feather.
let's go, let's go.
Make it sexy.
let's go, let's go.
Make it sexy.
yeah! Make it sexy.
yeah! this is a [bleep.]
disturbing yeah! this is a [bleep.]
disturbing thing.
this is a [bleep.]
disturbing thing.
oh, my god.
Thing.
oh, my god.
that's it? I'm done? oh, my god.
that's it? I'm done? Is it over? that's it? I'm done? Is it over? [ bell dings .]
Is it over? [ bell dings .]
oh [bleep.]
they've restarted.
[ bell dings .]
oh [bleep.]
they've restarted.
[ laughter .]
Oh [bleep.]
they've restarted.
[ laughter .]
come on, you got another [ laughter .]
come on, you got another costume to put on.
come on, you got another costume to put on.
Let's go! Costume to put on.
Let's go! there's four fights, buddy.
Let's go! there's four fights, buddy.
We're sending you into every there's four fights, buddy.
We're sending you into every one.
We're sending you into every one.
aw [bleep.]
One.
aw [bleep.]
sprint to the back.
aw [bleep.]
sprint to the back.
Look at him running.
sprint to the back.
Look at him running.
[ laughter .]
Look at him running.
[ laughter .]
[ audience cheering .]
[ laughter .]
[ audience cheering .]
next costume we're going [ audience cheering .]
next costume we're going with next costume we're going with The bra's all -- With The bra's all -- [ triumphant music plays .]
The bra's all -- [ triumphant music plays .]
[ bell dings .]
[ triumphant music plays .]
[ bell dings .]
there's the bell.
[ bell dings .]
there's the bell.
Get in there, bud.
there's the bell.
Get in there, bud.
Before we even hear from Get in there, bud.
Before we even hear from everybody at home, we know it's Before we even hear from everybody at home, we know it's not the right hair.
Everybody at home, we know it's not the right hair.
We just thought this was the Not the right hair.
We just thought this was the funnier hair.
We just thought this was the funnier hair.
we don't need to hear it, Funnier hair.
we don't need to hear it, nerds.
we don't need to hear it, nerds.
[ audience booing .]
Nerds.
[ audience booing .]
they're booing me.
Don't boo! [ audience booing .]
they're booing me.
Don't boo! listen to them.
they're booing me.
Don't boo! listen to them.
oh, my god.
listen to them.
oh, my god.
this is the stupidest thing oh, my god.
this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.
this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.
you know how much he hates I've ever done in my life.
you know how much he hates his hair like that, right? you know how much he hates his hair like that, right? yeah, yeah.
His hair like that, right? yeah, yeah.
do you think he would take yeah, yeah.
do you think he would take that hair permanently for the do you think he would take that hair permanently for the rest of his life if it was his That hair permanently for the rest of his life if it was his real hair? Rest of his life if it was his real hair? so he couldn't cut it and Real hair? so he couldn't cut it and style it? so he couldn't cut it and style it? no, but he would have a full Style it? no, but he would have a full head of hair.
no, but he would have a full head of hair.
Do you think he would take it? Head of hair.
Do you think he would take it? I think he would.
Do you think he would take it? I think he would.
I think he should.
I think he would.
I think he should.
[ bell dings .]
I think he should.
[ bell dings .]
[bleep.]
[ bell dings .]
[bleep.]
is that it? [bleep.]
is that it? Please, that's it, right? Is that it? Please, that's it, right? come back.
Please, that's it, right? come back.
We'll get you dressed for the come back.
We'll get you dressed for the next fight.
We'll get you dressed for the next fight.
come on! Next fight.
come on! [ audience cheering .]
come on! [ audience cheering .]
[ bell dings .]
[ audience cheering .]
[ bell dings .]
now, this next one is we [ bell dings .]
now, this next one is we watched "die hard 3" a lot.
now, this next one is we watched "die hard 3" a lot.
yeah.
Watched "die hard 3" a lot.
yeah.
that's basically what yeah.
that's basically what happened.
that's basically what happened.
holy [bleep.]
Happened.
holy [bleep.]
yeah.
holy [bleep.]
yeah.
it's a simple sign.
yeah.
it's a simple sign.
[ bell dings .]
it's a simple sign.
[ bell dings .]
time! [ bell dings .]
time! oh, my god.
time! oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
read your sign.
[ laughs .]
read your sign.
[ audience booing .]
read your sign.
[ audience booing .]
I hate boxing! [ audience booing .]
I hate boxing! Round 3.
I hate boxing! Round 3.
you make these people believe Round 3.
you make these people believe that you hate boxing.
you make these people believe that you hate boxing.
yeah! Yeah! That you hate boxing.
yeah! Yeah! [ booing intensifies .]
yeah! Yeah! [ booing intensifies .]
get up -- yeah, get up on the [ booing intensifies .]
get up -- yeah, get up on the ropes.
get up -- yeah, get up on the ropes.
[ laughter .]
Ropes.
[ laughter .]
yeah! I hate boxing! [ laughter .]
yeah! I hate boxing! I hate -- [bleep.]
yeah! I hate boxing! I hate -- [bleep.]
I hate it! All right.
[bleep.]
I hate -- [bleep.]
I hate it! All right.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
I hate it! All right.
[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
get your [bleep.]
and get out.
[ laughter .]
get your [bleep.]
and get out.
oh, my god.
get your [bleep.]
and get out.
oh, my god.
[ bell dings .]
oh, my god.
[ bell dings .]
come on, we got something [ bell dings .]
come on, we got something else for you.
come on, we got something else for you.
Scurry out, you little ferret.
Else for you.
Scurry out, you little ferret.
can you guys take a minute to Scurry out, you little ferret.
can you guys take a minute to appreciate that we have the best can you guys take a minute to appreciate that we have the best job in the world? Appreciate that we have the best job in the world? I do appreciate that.
Job in the world? I do appreciate that.
look at what we're doing to I do appreciate that.
look at what we're doing to this idiot.
look at what we're doing to this idiot.
we're just three best friends This idiot.
we're just three best friends since high school.
we're just three best friends since high school.
[ both laugh .]
Since high school.
[ both laugh .]
all right, here's the final [ both laugh .]
all right, here's the final fight.
all right, here's the final fight.
Get out there, murr.
Fight.
Get out there, murr.
all right.
Get out there, murr.
all right.
this is our most creative all right.
this is our most creative outfit, I think, fellas.
this is our most creative outfit, I think, fellas.
The majestic centaur.
Outfit, I think, fellas.
The majestic centaur.
[ laughter .]
The majestic centaur.
[ laughter .]
kill the centaur! [ laughter .]
kill the centaur! they say they're gonna kill kill the centaur! they say they're gonna kill the centaur.
they say they're gonna kill the centaur.
yes, kill the centaur! Yes! The centaur.
yes, kill the centaur! Yes! that's a sentence that that yes, kill the centaur! Yes! that's a sentence that that man did not think he was gonna that's a sentence that that man did not think he was gonna when he left the house.
Man did not think he was gonna when he left the house.
[ bell dings .]
When he left the house.
[ bell dings .]
time! [ bell dings .]
time! there you go, bud.
time! there you go, bud.
oh [bleep.]
me.
there you go, bud.
oh [bleep.]
me.
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
me.
[ laughter .]
[ audience booing .]
[ laughter .]
[ audience booing .]
prance around and go, "I'm a [ audience booing .]
prance around and go, "I'm a centaur!" prance around and go, "I'm a centaur!" I'm a centaur! I'm a centaur! Centaur!" I'm a centaur! I'm a centaur! look at him.
He's galloping.
I'm a centaur! I'm a centaur! look at him.
He's galloping.
Gallop, you [bleep.]
look at him.
He's galloping.
Gallop, you [bleep.]
gallop! Gallop, you [bleep.]
Gallop, you [bleep.]
gallop! Gallop, you [bleep.]
get your gallop on! Gallop! Gallop, you [bleep.]
get your gallop on! Sal's knocked out.
Get your gallop on! Sal's knocked out.
murr from Sal's knocked out.
murr from "impractical jokers" on trutv.
that broadcasted live.
that went out live, you Idiot.
That went out live! never mind the thousands of People in here, the whole world Just saw it.
Well done.
Well done.
wow.
Gallop out.
all right, well, punishment's Over.
I would say it was a knockout.
[ laughter .]