Leverage s04e15 Episode Script
The Lonely Hearts Job
Nate Ford.
Aah! You know, you could have -- Called first? Yes, Mr.
Ford.
I could have called first.
Chaz put it away.
My name is Walt -- Whitman Wellesley IV.
Well-funded, on the board of several corporations, foundations.
I know who you are.
Good.
Then you know exactly what's at risk if you refuse to help me.
Let me be very clear about something.
I help people who have nowhere else to go.
I help them against people like you.
Thanks for coming.
But you must Help me.
- Uh - I'm gonna - Maybe - I'm gonna go get Sophie.
Sophie, yeah.
My wife has been kidnapped.
Missing for four days now.
- But there's been no ransom.
- Not a word.
She's just gone.
You poor man.
She's been missing for four days, and there's no evidence of foul play.
The FBI has given up on the case.
That's why you're here.
She left you, Wellesley.
- Nate, that's a bit harsh.
- What? No, it isn't.
Lacey would never deliberately I know exactly what this looks like.
Rich man marries a woman half his age, gets just what he deserves, but -- - She was special.
- Is.
I was married for 37 years.
My sons are grown -- grandkids, too.
When Dot died -- my first wife -- I was bereft.
For two years, I just went through the motions.
I was just waiting till I stopped.
And then you met Lacey and fell in love.
She changed me.
Restored me.
If you say so.
Whatever you want it's yours.
Just find my wife.
Please.
I can find your wife.
But you're gonna have to do something for me -- a favor, in the future.
You have power, influence -- something I might find useful.
Done.
The rich and powerful take what they want.
We steal it back for you.
Sometimes, bad guys make the best good guys.
We provide Go ahead, say it.
Go ahead.
- I-I'm just saying he loves her.
- Saying what? Oh, come on.
Men like that treat people like possessions.
- You should know that.
- Oh, just because he's rich doesn't mean he's heartless.
- Of all people, you're actually -- - He was wrecked.
- No, wrecked.
I mean -- - You don't have a romantic bone in your body.
- Oh.
- Oh, really? And you're one to laugh.
You don't even bother to learn their names.
They're just waitress, nurse, stewardess.
First of all, it's flight attendant, all right? They don't like being called stewardess.
And, second, I know their names.
You guys having a three-way? - What? - What? Three-way fight? All right, guys.
Walt Whitman Wellesley IV.
Now, he does look like every other soulless CEO we've taken down before, but to be honest, this guy gave away more dollars last year than Bill and Melinda Gates.
He comes from old money.
I'm talking like "his ancestors invested in IBM while coming over on the Mayflower" old.
Okay.
Now, what about the lovely wife, Lacey? Lovely? She ain't lovely.
Lacey Beaumont -- she met her future husband at a charity function in the Hamptons.
But get this -- she bought old boy at one of those bachelor auctions.
They get married less than a month later.
See? Love at first sight.
Yeah, or she wanted to get hitched before the background check went through.
Yeah, thank you.
Okay.
So she's been missing for four days.
What can you tell me about that time period? Well, there's no activity on the credit cards or the bank accounts, but going back to Got a lot of cash withdrawals, over $2 million-plus, all transferred to the same account.
Find me that bank.
Bank's in the Hamptons, but Oh, that account was emptied and closed four days ago.
All right, all right, all right.
She's a grifter.
But it doesn't mean that Wellesley's feelings aren't genuine.
Oh, come on.
Look, guys, sweetheart scams like this usually take, what, six months, right, to pull off? This is a land-speed record.
Here's a list of other wealthy men who married within a month of meeting their spouses.
That's a lot of mysterious accidents.
And they each seem to have met at one of these functions.
Well, that's Lacey's pattern.
Yeah, well, it looks like Lacey might be a black widow.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, she may not have killed Wellesley, but she's out there, spinning her web.
Mm-hmm.
Now, there's another charity function tomorrow in the Hamptons.
Same deal -- live and silent auctions, real high-end vendors.
And when you compare it to your others Everybody, pack your bags.
We're going to a party.
Let's go steal a sweetheart.
No? A widow.
- Unh-unh.
- No? Spider? Spider.
Lacey will have changed her name and appearance -- different hair, colored contacts.
More than that -- if she's as good as we think she is, then she can change her skin type with makeup, her body shape with clothing, create a whole new person.
Parker, any luck? No matches on Hardison's software yet.
Ooh.
Sparkly.
Parker, no burgling.
But these jewels -- they're just asking to be taken.
Ladies and gentlemen, our annual bachelor auction is about to begin! I know, I know.
You're excited.
Now let's dig deep into those unallocated funds.
Remember, it's for charity.
Steak dinner to whoever gets the highest bid? I'm in.
All right ladies.
Are we ready for our next bachelor? Lacey should be among the high bidders.
Parker and I will drive the bids higher by countering.
Eliot, pick a bidder and maintain eye contact.
Paying attention to one will cement the bid and put all the others off.
Yeah, I got it.
Then let's meet Austin, Texas, native Jackson Cooper! Austin, Texas? Did you write that? All right.
Now, not only is Jackson the founder of bar oil, he also led the underwater team that capped the well in the Gulf.
Oh, yes.
So we are gonna start this auction off at $1,000.
Do I hear $1,000? $1,000 right away.
Very good.
$1,500.
Looking for $1,500.
$1,500.
$1,500 in the back there! $2,000, $2,000.
$2,000.
$2,500.
Anyone, $2,500? $2,500 right there.
We have $3,000.
Do I hear $3,000? $3,000 to the lovely lady in the front.
Looking for $3,500.
Come on, ladies, don't be shy.
Me, me! $3,500 right there in the back! Do I have $4,000? Thank you, Sophie.
$4,000.
$4,000 in front.
Do I have $4,500, anyone? $4,500 over there! $4,500.
Going for $5,000.
$5,000 right in front.
$5,500 in the back there.
We have $5,500.
$6,000 over there.
$6,500.
Thank you.
$7,000.
$7,000 in the back.
Dare we go $7,500? $7,500, good.
$8,000.
$8,500.
$8-- wait.
Hold on.
Hold on.
We got $10,000 right here.
That's $10,000 going once.
$10,000 going twice.
And sold to this lovely lady up front.
Enchanté.
- Ooh.
French.
- Photo for the society page? You want to take a picture? - Ooh.
- I got you.
Ooh.
Klutz.
Parker, any luck? Got photos of every girl Lacey's age.
Still no match.
Ooh.
Lovely.
That's right, ladies.
Let's give it up for our last eligible bachelor, Mr.
Steven Melching.
Come on, Steven.
Steven comes to us straight from his compound in Silicon Valley.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! So, we're gonna start this auction off at $1,000.
$1,000 from the enthusiastic lady in the front.
We're looking for $1,500.
$1,500 up back there.
$1,500.
Looking for $2,000.
$2,000, thank you.
Looking for $2,500.
Going for -- $2,500 over there.
- $3,000.
Looking for $3,000.
- Ooh.
$3,000 right here.
$3,500 over here.
- Thank you.
- Parker.
Looking for $4,000.
Parker, Parker.
- Parker, put your hand up.
- Looking for $4,000, anybody.
You -- you -- - You better bid.
- Anyone.
What? I'm up.
It's up.
Just watch her.
Keep your eyes on her.
There's a steak.
Mmm.
Steak for you.
$4,000 right there.
There we go.
$4,000.
$4,500, anyone? Anyone? $4,500 right here.
Looking for $5,000.
Where's $5,000? Do I hear $5,000, anyone? Anyone, $5,000? $6,000, right here.
$6,000.
$6,500 right here.
- Ooh! - $7,000.
$7,000.
Thank you.
$7,500 up front here.
$8,000 in the back there.
Looking for $8,500.
$8,500 right -- Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bid for $15,000.
Ooh! You say $15,000? I'm gonna say sold right here! - Well done, brother.
- I'll be damned.
- How you doing? - Hi! I'm getting me a steak dinner.
Steak-umms.
Remember when women had dignity? Ah, yes.
Mystery and allure, too -- things of the past, I'm afraid.
I'm Meredith.
Ah.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
- Oh, duchess, may I, for the society page? - Of course.
Oh, well, I -- I should, uh, go take a photo of the highest bidder with her prize.
Nice meeting you.
You bid $15,000? Wow.
That sure is a lot.
- May I? - You sure? $15,000? - Oh! - Whoa.
Oh.
They're all klutzes.
- Oh.
- Excuse me.
- Thank you.
You're so strong.
- Oh.
Wait.
They're all klutzes.
She tripped, too.
That's odd.
You have the bluest eyes.
What? - Ohh! - Ohh! Hey.
How you doing? You okay? I'm -- I'm so sorry.
I-I just wasn't looking.
Ah, looks like the working girl could use a drink.
Working girl? I'm sorry.
I-I didn't mean it like that.
I was Yes, it is, indeed.
Cask strength.
You know, you're a lousy vendor.
You could have saved a lot of money diluting this without anyone the wiser.
Money's not one of my worries.
Really? Outrageous.
Hmm? A lovely lady like you going thirsty.
- Oh.
- Unacceptable.
- Oh? - Champagne? Look at that.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
Oscar San Guillermo.
I organize these fundraisers for the local charities.
Not a fan? Oh, it's not that.
I just -- I know, I know.
It's a little over the top, but separating all these rich people from their money for a good cause -- that's forgivable, isn't it? I'd say.
To old friends and new.
Ha.
Ooh.
Your eyes are so deep.
E-excuse me one moment, please.
Sorry.
Everyone, listen up.
This technique, the staring -- it's called soul-gazing.
Just two minutes of it can create real feelings of love.
- Ooh! - It's oaky.
Nate, the tripping, the soul-gazing -- it's every seduction technique in the book.
They're all on script -- every single one of them.
So true.
That's right.
Not bad.
The women -- they're all grifters.
We came here looking for one Lacey.
We stumbled across an entire ring of Laceys.
No wonder the meet-to-marry time is so quick.
Anyone would be susceptible to this.
It's like an assembly line of grift.
I have never tried that.
- Oh, I'm gonna get you -- okay.
- Thanks.
Sophie, okay.
I can't talk right now.
You got to take point, okay, and try to get us some information.
Parker? Huh? Are you up to doing some lifts? Oh, goody.
Just phones.
We're only gonna clone them.
- Fine.
- I'll meet you in the lobby in five minutes.
Guys, distract the women.
Get close to them.
Create some heat.
- How'd you swing that? - Yeah.
Y-you know Let me get to know you real quick.
- All right - Oh.
Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Okay.
Just very, very Let me tell you something.
I own a vineyard in the south of France.
Nate, no names, no addresses, nothing to lead us to Lacey, and all the calls are from today.
Yeah, not even GPS.
They're burners.
It's definitely a ring.
Let's think about this.
Every ring has a leader, someone calling the shots.
And to grift on this scale, that leader's gonna be here to supervise.
I know I would.
You know, these women sometimes kill their marks.
I know, but first things first -- we need to find out who that leader is.
Nate, we need a disruption, give us a chance to see how they interact.
- Just a second.
Be right back.
- Mm.
I mean, it could give us a clue.
Parker, pick a fight with Hardison's date.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.
Are you kidding me? Parker! He didn't mean a literal fight.
He meant start an argument.
What?! Hey! He said distract her, not beat her ass.
- What are you -- - Let's go, miss.
You gonna stand there and let her get her ass whupped? Where's your new lady friend? Come here, sweetie.
That was terrible.
I can't believe she did that here.
Nice job of flushing out the leader.
Meredith's the ring leader.
I should have seen that.
The camera's the perfect cover for watching her girls in action.
And she's gonna have files.
We find those, we take down the ring.
- And Lacey.
- Yeah.
I'm thinking a Hohe Minne variant.
I like your thinking.
You're not a society photographer, are you? And you're not a purveyor of fine spirits.
Hey, why don't we think of this as a happy accident? You didn't know we were gonna be here.
We didn't know you were gonna be here.
All right? But there's plenty to go around.
Come on.
- You want to partner up? - Not a bad idea.
You know, you're obviously great with the gentlemen, and we can handle the ladies, so win-win.
I don't know you or what you're capable of.
Listen, you might be queen of the Hamptons, but I have fleeced more divorcées and widows than you could shake a stick at, huh? That's me, okay? Yeah.
So, uh, I could get any lady I want -- anyone.
Prove it.
Here's your coat, ma'am.
No, um that's not mine.
Mine's a-a silk shawl.
I'm Meredith.
Oh.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
- Oh, duchess, may I, for the society page? - Of course.
That woman at coat check -- she's a real duchess.
You get her to go out with you within the next 24 hours, I'll watch you work and make a determination.
No time like the present.
Duchess.
Huh.
Now, at least have a drink with me.
Oh, thank you.
Gonna have to try a bit harder than that.
Looks like someone got a head start.
Tomorrow, call that number.
Once you've made your move, I'll be there.
Eliot, I want you to follow Sophie.
Hardison, you track Meredith.
They went out the east door, both of them.
Now.
All right, Lacey's in the system because she was reported missing, but the others are not.
So I think if Uh All right, all right.
Listen, next time, I promise, I'll use the word "argument" instead of "fight.
" - Promise.
- Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So I-I lost Meredith's town car, but I hacked the GPS.
Assuming that she keeps files, they're probably at her home or her office, if she uses one.
We find those records, we could take down Meredith, Lacey, and the whole ring.
Now, based on recurrence of location and calculating duration of stay, according to time codes, I have for you two addresses.
Okay, Parker, listen.
Tomorrow, while I'm running the Hohe Minne scam, I want you to check out these addresses.
What's a Hohe Minne? Oh, German -- means "high courtly love.
" In the middle ages, a knight would undergo challenges to prove himself worthy of a noblewoman's love.
Sure seems like a lot of work.
I'm just saying.
Hey, man, why do you have Sophie's comm muted? Don't you want to hear how she's doing? - That's funny.
- Uh, not really.
What? Sophie's real laugh.
- Mm.
- Oh, I get it.
She's not the noblewoman.
She's the challenge.
Hmm? Oh! Awake! I'm awake.
That was kind of a long time there.
Well, San Guillermo asked me out.
I had to make it look real.
If I had turned him down, Meredith might have suspected that I was in your crew, or she could have had someone watching me from the moment she picked me out as your mark.
Anyway, Oscar gives you some healthy competition - Oscar? - Helps sell the con.
What? Are you jealous? Hmm? Just a little bit? Hmm? I was busy.
What's with all this laughing and stuff that was going on? What, mm? Busy listening in on comms, I hope.
No, but I -- you were -- You had that kind of like "ha.
" Getting a few tips and ideas from Oscar? What ideas? Well, ideas about romance and setting the mood and seduction and compliments and mm, dating stuff.
Okay.
First of all, I know how to do all that stuff.
I know what all that's about.
And I know how to date.
I've dated before, Sophie.
I -- it's how we -- No.
I mean, we haven't defined what we are.
But we're definitely not dating.
- Okay, but -- - Listen, you want to get close to Meredith, then you don't have to actually, you know, seduce me.
You just have to convince her that you're capable of seducing me, make it believable.
Okay.
Here's what -- here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna set up a -- a meet cute, all right? And, um -- and I'm gonna start by saying, "hey" -- No, Nate, Nate, Nate.
No, no, no, no, no.
- You can't script this.
No.
- What? Why not? I -- well, if -- if I know what your approach is, then my reactions -- they're not gonna be genuine.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It has to be a real date, and you, my friend, have to be very very charming.
Ah.
- How do you get this -- - Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh.
No.
I'm sorry.
I have to get my beauty sleep.
I have a very hot date with Oscar tomorrow.
Tick, tock.
All right, this emcee guy's name's Oscar San Guillermo.
No priors.
He picked Sophie up at 7:20, and they went to a, uh Swank Bar on Third.
He had two mojitos.
She had a 2008 Pouilly-Fuissé.
What? Did you get the name of the restaurant? - I just said it was Swank.
- Why do you have to editorialize? They left Swank at 8:15.
They went to a place called La Dolce Vita.
They got seated immediately, which is pretty outstanding, considering it's a two-week wait just to get in there.
At 11:30, they left.
They scheduled a brunch, and he brought her straight home.
That's the end.
Reservations today are at La Chateau Lyon.
Oh, geez.
It's La Châtillon.
Châtillon.
Three-star Michelin rating.
It's got a solid 29 Zagat.
I mean, this San Gui, he's got -- he's got good taste, man.
San Gui? Yeah, short for San Guillermo.
He prefers it to Oscar.
Ahh.
What a day.
Yes.
What a day.
Sometimes it's fun to kick a man when he's down.
We set? Oh, sure, right.
Speaking of which, did you ever find that steak place? - The bet's off.
- What you mean the bet's off? The second that we found out they were grifters, the bet's off.
That doesn't count.
You didn't set -- Page 189, rule number 7 in the bro handbook.
What? There wasn't no rules.
You didn't set any rules.
The bet is off in a situation where -- - I'll be damned if it's off.
- All right, then! I'll make you some prime rib when this is over.
Bone in, well-done? - Well-done, bone in.
- All right.
Man, I love it when restaurants get all corporatey on me.
Hacking into La Châtillon's reservation and employee schedule list was a morceau of gâteau.
We are in.
All right, man, work starts in an hour.
You are the sous chef.
I am the sommelier visiting from the South African winery.
- Sommelier? - Sommelier.
- Again? - Yes.
Do you want me to teach you about the wines again? That's just hurtful.
Just -- just making assumptions and presumptions that I don't know what I'm -- Yes, I need you to teach me about the wines again, yes.
Oh.
Your sommelier will be with you shortly to pour the malbec.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
So lovely.
- Bon appétit.
- Thank you.
You look like you're enjoying yourself.
I assume this little gift is from you, Meredith.
That's a two-way transmitter.
I can hear everything you say and everything she says, so no cheating.
Now impress me.
Will you be having one of the brunch selections, sir? I will.
Flight of reds, please.
Have you changed your mind? No, no! No, no.
I was just wondering, also, if I could maybe get a five-letter word from you for "makes one's hair stand on end.
" It's La Châtillon does not have words on the menu, sir.
Enjoy.
You seem a little distracted.
Oh.
Hello.
Hello.
This is the Argentine malbec.
It is characterized by its intense fruity flavor and deep plum color, while it does not have tan-tan-tan T-tannic -- tannic structure.
Tannic structure of a French malbec Whose texture is more plush, they have been known to show a similar aging potential.
You didn't even say the whole thing, Hardison.
Hey, come here.
Stop.
That's -- no.
No, go.
Put -- sprinkle some sea salt.
Just a little salt.
Guys, the first address -- it's a marina.
I can't search every boat for Meredith's files.
I'm heading to the second address.
Parker, we're counting on you.
The whole date side of this con can go either way.
Enjoy.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so -- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my gosh.
- No, it's all right.
Oh, that's a good idea.
That works.
That works.
I've tried that.
- No, no, no.
That's enough.
Enough.
- Let me -- let me take this.
- May I -- - Let me -- I said enough! You've done enough.
Thank you.
Sorry.
I Uh, excuse me, duchess.
I, uh think I'll be a while.
Stay right there.
I -- I Ugh! What an idiot.
- Allow me.
- Thank you, sir.
Oh.
Thank you.
I'm so embarrassed.
I, um -- I didn't prepare for this situation.
Yeah, it's all right.
I don't often get to play the white knight.
Gus McAvoy, distributor.
Oh.
Scottish? Eh, on my father's father's side.
Oh.
Please, join me.
Oh, thank you very much.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
That's lovely.
Tease.
Excuse me? Five-letter word, makes your hair stand up.
Oh, right.
Well, look at that.
It's the key to the whole thing.
Listen, would you like to, um get some dessert? There's this wonderful Italian-ice place down by the water.
I hear it puts La Châtillon's sorbet to shame.
Sounds good.
Yeah? Nice hook.
Now let's see if you can land her.
Hey, brother, here's a $20, man.
Can you play something romantic? Something to kind of mix it up a little? He's one of yours.
Very nice.
Setting the mood.
All right, Parker, you got that second address yet? Yeah, I'm in.
There's not much here.
No wall safe.
I'll check the computer and the hard-copy files.
Let's just sit right over here.
Oh.
That was a mistake.
The ice plus the shade will give her a chill.
Game over.
Nice meeting you.
Oh, here, let me, uh Clever boy.
Always thinking ahead, aren't you? Eliot, there's nothing here.
It's just a front.
There's not even a computer to hook up to the monitor.
Hang on a second.
There's a portrait.
It's Lacey.
She signed it, "thanks for everything.
Heart, Julie.
" But facial-recognition app confirms it's her.
Eliot, that is our first solid lead.
Look, if Lacey signed that photo, she's touched it.
That's my thinking, too.
Parker, grab the photo.
We might be able to tell something from it.
- We're close to being done here.
- Yeah, I got it.
It still only says, "thanks for everything.
Heart, Julie.
" Oh.
Ah.
Here you go.
Hey, it's best to keep the ball right in front of you, always.
Sweet.
How did you arrange that? Did you ever play catch with your father? Nah.
No.
No, we went to, uh, Fenway pretty much every year, went to a lot of games.
He loved baseball.
You had that, at least.
We sat there in the stands with our gloves, waiting for a foul ball.
Then he was just -- wasn't Jimmy.
You know, he was -- he was my dad.
I mean, he didn't give me much, but he -- he gave me that.
Well, it can't have been all bad if he passed on his passion, even if that passion's for a sport that's not quite cricket.
- Cricket? - What? I know my cricket.
Give me a batsman, a couple of balls, and you'll see if I can't outstump him.
You really are beautiful.
Hmm.
- Let's go.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Meredith is off comms.
Parker? I'm here.
Is Sophie ready? Eliot, Hardison, we need to analyze that portrait.
Meet me at the car.
Time to get a move on.
I thought that's what you have been doing.
Listen.
I picked you.
I didn't pick the others.
Hardison, Parker, Eliot -- I picked you.
All right? I am impressed.
Oh.
Seems we have terms to discuss.
A new partnership to celebrate.
Excellent.
Uh where should we meet? My car's just right over -- Get in.
Okay.
Looks like Meredith's town car is headed for the marina.
I can track the GPS, but Nate's still off comms.
I don't like it.
This woman's left a lot of bodies in the road.
Yeah, but Nate's not a mark.
No, it's perfect.
He gets close to Meredith, gets access to her files, - while we all -- - Get all "CSI" on the picture.
Yeah.
Try that one.
No.
Try that one.
It's Lacey.
Okay, it matches a Christine Valada.
Now, look, it says Lacey/Christine's address is just a few minutes from here.
It's Sunday.
I bet she's home.
Yeah.
Let's pay Christine Valada a visit, shall we? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Parker, slow down! Parker! So, come on, 75/25 -- that your best offer? Take it or leave it.
Yeah, well, you know, you put it like that, I'm all-in.
This is it.
Nice boat.
It was my late husband's.
Permission to come aboard.
Granted.
This is not what I expected.
Me neither.
Hello? Hello? Hi, there.
Hi.
Hi.
Christine Valada? Yes, that's me.
What can I do for you? Also Lacey Beaumont Wellesley? No.
I didn't -- please! I didn't contact him, I swear.
Oh, please.
Please tell me you haven't hurt Walt.
We're not here to hurt anybody.
We're here to find you.
Wellesley sent us.
Don't you think we should get a photo to commemorate this momentous occasion? Plenty of time for that later.
Ho! Now, I have a feeling that you know as much about your champagne as you do your whiskey.
I find it useful to be conversant.
Ah, yes.
I suppose it would be remiss of me not to mention that I already have a partner.
San Gui.
Yes, I hear you prefer that to Oscar.
Yeah.
Well, well.
So, you told Meredith you were done.
You wanted out.
Once I'd sent her $2 million, I -- I figured she'd allow me to go my own way.
You underestimated her greed.
I underestimated her fear.
My falling in love with a mark meant she could no longer trust me.
Oh.
She thought you were gonna tell your husband everything.
If I so much as contacted Walt, he'd meet with some terrible accident.
Just like her late husbands did.
She was right.
I would have told him the truth.
I just hadn't gotten up the courage yet.
Do you let them hate the real you or love the fake you? You're saying you didn't know anything about her killing these guys going in.
No.
I didn't put it all together until they threatened me with Walt.
I'd never have joined her crew if I'd known.
Hand them over.
What There you go.
What? Oh.
There.
Here we are.
Guys, we have a mayday situation.
Nate's comm just went online and off again.
His GPS is dead, too.
You FBI? No.
No, no.
I'm not a -- I'm not a fed.
I'm a thief.
Thought if I could get close enough to your files, I could maybe, you know, use your marks or one or two of your girls to start my own scheme.
His last-known coordinates were the marina.
Yeah, and I still never solved the waterproofing problem.
Look, the comms still go out when they're submerged in water.
Parker, you're with me.
As good as you are, you're not nearly as good as you think you are.
It's obvious you don't have what it takes to do what I do.
What -- what is it, exactly, you think I'm lacking? Ruthlessness.
You're far too vulnerable and open.
I've watched you with the duchess.
You're half in love with her already, falling prey to the very techniques you employ.
Hey, you mean falling in love.
There's no such thing as love.
Sorry, buddy.
Olly olly oxen free.
Oh, you're good.
So I've been told.
I never suspected you at all, not for a moment.
Of course not.
As good as you are, you're not nearly as good as you think you are.
I destroyed his ear bud before I said that.
How did you I heard you go over.
If not you, then wh-- Yeah.
Come on.
Fisticuffs? Really? All right.
Let's go.
What do you want, 50/50? I wasn't lying when I said I was after your records.
I'll never give them up.
Ah.
But you already have.
As good as you are, you're not nearly as good as you think you are.
Okay, good.
It's there.
It's all there.
All the data -- I'm e-mailing it now to Nate.
Right now, all your details are being sent to every rich and powerful mark you have on file.
Oh, and your fingerprints -- already been forwarded to the authorities, just in case they want to look into the deaths of all those late husbands.
If I were you, I'd start running.
Now.
Ha! Shall we? Thank you.
Mmm! Let's get out of here.
True love does exist.
May it always prevail.
- Hear, hear.
- Slainte.
Looking for a Miss Devereaux.
Mm.
That's me.
And a Parker.
Ooh.
Ooh.
These ones? Yeah.
That's for you.
- There you are.
- Thanks.
I take it all back.
Mwah.
Every word.
- You are romantic.
- Ooh.
Oh.
They're beautiful.
It eats flies.
Huh.
A plant that does something.
That's nice.
Thanks.
Should I feed it mice, like a snake? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They're my favorite.
- It's got teeth.
Smell.
Uh, they smell nice? It doesn't really smell.
I don't recognize this number, which means you shouldn't be talking to me.
A call to arms, Mr.
Ford.
In my dealings, I've discovered an innocent who's been wronged.
An engineer's invention was stolen by a corporation.
If you and your team acquire the patent, you can prove the company owes him millions.
You make a few investments ahead of time, bet against our opponents.
A finder's fee.
You punish.
I profit.
Well, it sounds tempting, Latimer, I'll give you that.
Something I want, no downside.
Problem is, I've made that offer a hundred times to a hundred marks.
I know a con when I spin one.
No, thanks.
We could have been friends, Mr.
Ford.
I don't need any friends, Latimer.
Ah.
He wouldn't take the job.
You do that, it's war.
Well, war it is, then.
Aah! You know, you could have -- Called first? Yes, Mr.
Ford.
I could have called first.
Chaz put it away.
My name is Walt -- Whitman Wellesley IV.
Well-funded, on the board of several corporations, foundations.
I know who you are.
Good.
Then you know exactly what's at risk if you refuse to help me.
Let me be very clear about something.
I help people who have nowhere else to go.
I help them against people like you.
Thanks for coming.
But you must Help me.
- Uh - I'm gonna - Maybe - I'm gonna go get Sophie.
Sophie, yeah.
My wife has been kidnapped.
Missing for four days now.
- But there's been no ransom.
- Not a word.
She's just gone.
You poor man.
She's been missing for four days, and there's no evidence of foul play.
The FBI has given up on the case.
That's why you're here.
She left you, Wellesley.
- Nate, that's a bit harsh.
- What? No, it isn't.
Lacey would never deliberately I know exactly what this looks like.
Rich man marries a woman half his age, gets just what he deserves, but -- - She was special.
- Is.
I was married for 37 years.
My sons are grown -- grandkids, too.
When Dot died -- my first wife -- I was bereft.
For two years, I just went through the motions.
I was just waiting till I stopped.
And then you met Lacey and fell in love.
She changed me.
Restored me.
If you say so.
Whatever you want it's yours.
Just find my wife.
Please.
I can find your wife.
But you're gonna have to do something for me -- a favor, in the future.
You have power, influence -- something I might find useful.
Done.
The rich and powerful take what they want.
We steal it back for you.
Sometimes, bad guys make the best good guys.
We provide Go ahead, say it.
Go ahead.
- I-I'm just saying he loves her.
- Saying what? Oh, come on.
Men like that treat people like possessions.
- You should know that.
- Oh, just because he's rich doesn't mean he's heartless.
- Of all people, you're actually -- - He was wrecked.
- No, wrecked.
I mean -- - You don't have a romantic bone in your body.
- Oh.
- Oh, really? And you're one to laugh.
You don't even bother to learn their names.
They're just waitress, nurse, stewardess.
First of all, it's flight attendant, all right? They don't like being called stewardess.
And, second, I know their names.
You guys having a three-way? - What? - What? Three-way fight? All right, guys.
Walt Whitman Wellesley IV.
Now, he does look like every other soulless CEO we've taken down before, but to be honest, this guy gave away more dollars last year than Bill and Melinda Gates.
He comes from old money.
I'm talking like "his ancestors invested in IBM while coming over on the Mayflower" old.
Okay.
Now, what about the lovely wife, Lacey? Lovely? She ain't lovely.
Lacey Beaumont -- she met her future husband at a charity function in the Hamptons.
But get this -- she bought old boy at one of those bachelor auctions.
They get married less than a month later.
See? Love at first sight.
Yeah, or she wanted to get hitched before the background check went through.
Yeah, thank you.
Okay.
So she's been missing for four days.
What can you tell me about that time period? Well, there's no activity on the credit cards or the bank accounts, but going back to Got a lot of cash withdrawals, over $2 million-plus, all transferred to the same account.
Find me that bank.
Bank's in the Hamptons, but Oh, that account was emptied and closed four days ago.
All right, all right, all right.
She's a grifter.
But it doesn't mean that Wellesley's feelings aren't genuine.
Oh, come on.
Look, guys, sweetheart scams like this usually take, what, six months, right, to pull off? This is a land-speed record.
Here's a list of other wealthy men who married within a month of meeting their spouses.
That's a lot of mysterious accidents.
And they each seem to have met at one of these functions.
Well, that's Lacey's pattern.
Yeah, well, it looks like Lacey might be a black widow.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, she may not have killed Wellesley, but she's out there, spinning her web.
Mm-hmm.
Now, there's another charity function tomorrow in the Hamptons.
Same deal -- live and silent auctions, real high-end vendors.
And when you compare it to your others Everybody, pack your bags.
We're going to a party.
Let's go steal a sweetheart.
No? A widow.
- Unh-unh.
- No? Spider? Spider.
Lacey will have changed her name and appearance -- different hair, colored contacts.
More than that -- if she's as good as we think she is, then she can change her skin type with makeup, her body shape with clothing, create a whole new person.
Parker, any luck? No matches on Hardison's software yet.
Ooh.
Sparkly.
Parker, no burgling.
But these jewels -- they're just asking to be taken.
Ladies and gentlemen, our annual bachelor auction is about to begin! I know, I know.
You're excited.
Now let's dig deep into those unallocated funds.
Remember, it's for charity.
Steak dinner to whoever gets the highest bid? I'm in.
All right ladies.
Are we ready for our next bachelor? Lacey should be among the high bidders.
Parker and I will drive the bids higher by countering.
Eliot, pick a bidder and maintain eye contact.
Paying attention to one will cement the bid and put all the others off.
Yeah, I got it.
Then let's meet Austin, Texas, native Jackson Cooper! Austin, Texas? Did you write that? All right.
Now, not only is Jackson the founder of bar oil, he also led the underwater team that capped the well in the Gulf.
Oh, yes.
So we are gonna start this auction off at $1,000.
Do I hear $1,000? $1,000 right away.
Very good.
$1,500.
Looking for $1,500.
$1,500.
$1,500 in the back there! $2,000, $2,000.
$2,000.
$2,500.
Anyone, $2,500? $2,500 right there.
We have $3,000.
Do I hear $3,000? $3,000 to the lovely lady in the front.
Looking for $3,500.
Come on, ladies, don't be shy.
Me, me! $3,500 right there in the back! Do I have $4,000? Thank you, Sophie.
$4,000.
$4,000 in front.
Do I have $4,500, anyone? $4,500 over there! $4,500.
Going for $5,000.
$5,000 right in front.
$5,500 in the back there.
We have $5,500.
$6,000 over there.
$6,500.
Thank you.
$7,000.
$7,000 in the back.
Dare we go $7,500? $7,500, good.
$8,000.
$8,500.
$8-- wait.
Hold on.
Hold on.
We got $10,000 right here.
That's $10,000 going once.
$10,000 going twice.
And sold to this lovely lady up front.
Enchanté.
- Ooh.
French.
- Photo for the society page? You want to take a picture? - Ooh.
- I got you.
Ooh.
Klutz.
Parker, any luck? Got photos of every girl Lacey's age.
Still no match.
Ooh.
Lovely.
That's right, ladies.
Let's give it up for our last eligible bachelor, Mr.
Steven Melching.
Come on, Steven.
Steven comes to us straight from his compound in Silicon Valley.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! So, we're gonna start this auction off at $1,000.
$1,000 from the enthusiastic lady in the front.
We're looking for $1,500.
$1,500 up back there.
$1,500.
Looking for $2,000.
$2,000, thank you.
Looking for $2,500.
Going for -- $2,500 over there.
- $3,000.
Looking for $3,000.
- Ooh.
$3,000 right here.
$3,500 over here.
- Thank you.
- Parker.
Looking for $4,000.
Parker, Parker.
- Parker, put your hand up.
- Looking for $4,000, anybody.
You -- you -- - You better bid.
- Anyone.
What? I'm up.
It's up.
Just watch her.
Keep your eyes on her.
There's a steak.
Mmm.
Steak for you.
$4,000 right there.
There we go.
$4,000.
$4,500, anyone? Anyone? $4,500 right here.
Looking for $5,000.
Where's $5,000? Do I hear $5,000, anyone? Anyone, $5,000? $6,000, right here.
$6,000.
$6,500 right here.
- Ooh! - $7,000.
$7,000.
Thank you.
$7,500 up front here.
$8,000 in the back there.
Looking for $8,500.
$8,500 right -- Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bid for $15,000.
Ooh! You say $15,000? I'm gonna say sold right here! - Well done, brother.
- I'll be damned.
- How you doing? - Hi! I'm getting me a steak dinner.
Steak-umms.
Remember when women had dignity? Ah, yes.
Mystery and allure, too -- things of the past, I'm afraid.
I'm Meredith.
Ah.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
- Oh, duchess, may I, for the society page? - Of course.
Oh, well, I -- I should, uh, go take a photo of the highest bidder with her prize.
Nice meeting you.
You bid $15,000? Wow.
That sure is a lot.
- May I? - You sure? $15,000? - Oh! - Whoa.
Oh.
They're all klutzes.
- Oh.
- Excuse me.
- Thank you.
You're so strong.
- Oh.
Wait.
They're all klutzes.
She tripped, too.
That's odd.
You have the bluest eyes.
What? - Ohh! - Ohh! Hey.
How you doing? You okay? I'm -- I'm so sorry.
I-I just wasn't looking.
Ah, looks like the working girl could use a drink.
Working girl? I'm sorry.
I-I didn't mean it like that.
I was Yes, it is, indeed.
Cask strength.
You know, you're a lousy vendor.
You could have saved a lot of money diluting this without anyone the wiser.
Money's not one of my worries.
Really? Outrageous.
Hmm? A lovely lady like you going thirsty.
- Oh.
- Unacceptable.
- Oh? - Champagne? Look at that.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
Oscar San Guillermo.
I organize these fundraisers for the local charities.
Not a fan? Oh, it's not that.
I just -- I know, I know.
It's a little over the top, but separating all these rich people from their money for a good cause -- that's forgivable, isn't it? I'd say.
To old friends and new.
Ha.
Ooh.
Your eyes are so deep.
E-excuse me one moment, please.
Sorry.
Everyone, listen up.
This technique, the staring -- it's called soul-gazing.
Just two minutes of it can create real feelings of love.
- Ooh! - It's oaky.
Nate, the tripping, the soul-gazing -- it's every seduction technique in the book.
They're all on script -- every single one of them.
So true.
That's right.
Not bad.
The women -- they're all grifters.
We came here looking for one Lacey.
We stumbled across an entire ring of Laceys.
No wonder the meet-to-marry time is so quick.
Anyone would be susceptible to this.
It's like an assembly line of grift.
I have never tried that.
- Oh, I'm gonna get you -- okay.
- Thanks.
Sophie, okay.
I can't talk right now.
You got to take point, okay, and try to get us some information.
Parker? Huh? Are you up to doing some lifts? Oh, goody.
Just phones.
We're only gonna clone them.
- Fine.
- I'll meet you in the lobby in five minutes.
Guys, distract the women.
Get close to them.
Create some heat.
- How'd you swing that? - Yeah.
Y-you know Let me get to know you real quick.
- All right - Oh.
Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Okay.
Just very, very Let me tell you something.
I own a vineyard in the south of France.
Nate, no names, no addresses, nothing to lead us to Lacey, and all the calls are from today.
Yeah, not even GPS.
They're burners.
It's definitely a ring.
Let's think about this.
Every ring has a leader, someone calling the shots.
And to grift on this scale, that leader's gonna be here to supervise.
I know I would.
You know, these women sometimes kill their marks.
I know, but first things first -- we need to find out who that leader is.
Nate, we need a disruption, give us a chance to see how they interact.
- Just a second.
Be right back.
- Mm.
I mean, it could give us a clue.
Parker, pick a fight with Hardison's date.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.
Are you kidding me? Parker! He didn't mean a literal fight.
He meant start an argument.
What?! Hey! He said distract her, not beat her ass.
- What are you -- - Let's go, miss.
You gonna stand there and let her get her ass whupped? Where's your new lady friend? Come here, sweetie.
That was terrible.
I can't believe she did that here.
Nice job of flushing out the leader.
Meredith's the ring leader.
I should have seen that.
The camera's the perfect cover for watching her girls in action.
And she's gonna have files.
We find those, we take down the ring.
- And Lacey.
- Yeah.
I'm thinking a Hohe Minne variant.
I like your thinking.
You're not a society photographer, are you? And you're not a purveyor of fine spirits.
Hey, why don't we think of this as a happy accident? You didn't know we were gonna be here.
We didn't know you were gonna be here.
All right? But there's plenty to go around.
Come on.
- You want to partner up? - Not a bad idea.
You know, you're obviously great with the gentlemen, and we can handle the ladies, so win-win.
I don't know you or what you're capable of.
Listen, you might be queen of the Hamptons, but I have fleeced more divorcées and widows than you could shake a stick at, huh? That's me, okay? Yeah.
So, uh, I could get any lady I want -- anyone.
Prove it.
Here's your coat, ma'am.
No, um that's not mine.
Mine's a-a silk shawl.
I'm Meredith.
Oh.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
- Oh, duchess, may I, for the society page? - Of course.
That woman at coat check -- she's a real duchess.
You get her to go out with you within the next 24 hours, I'll watch you work and make a determination.
No time like the present.
Duchess.
Huh.
Now, at least have a drink with me.
Oh, thank you.
Gonna have to try a bit harder than that.
Looks like someone got a head start.
Tomorrow, call that number.
Once you've made your move, I'll be there.
Eliot, I want you to follow Sophie.
Hardison, you track Meredith.
They went out the east door, both of them.
Now.
All right, Lacey's in the system because she was reported missing, but the others are not.
So I think if Uh All right, all right.
Listen, next time, I promise, I'll use the word "argument" instead of "fight.
" - Promise.
- Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So I-I lost Meredith's town car, but I hacked the GPS.
Assuming that she keeps files, they're probably at her home or her office, if she uses one.
We find those records, we could take down Meredith, Lacey, and the whole ring.
Now, based on recurrence of location and calculating duration of stay, according to time codes, I have for you two addresses.
Okay, Parker, listen.
Tomorrow, while I'm running the Hohe Minne scam, I want you to check out these addresses.
What's a Hohe Minne? Oh, German -- means "high courtly love.
" In the middle ages, a knight would undergo challenges to prove himself worthy of a noblewoman's love.
Sure seems like a lot of work.
I'm just saying.
Hey, man, why do you have Sophie's comm muted? Don't you want to hear how she's doing? - That's funny.
- Uh, not really.
What? Sophie's real laugh.
- Mm.
- Oh, I get it.
She's not the noblewoman.
She's the challenge.
Hmm? Oh! Awake! I'm awake.
That was kind of a long time there.
Well, San Guillermo asked me out.
I had to make it look real.
If I had turned him down, Meredith might have suspected that I was in your crew, or she could have had someone watching me from the moment she picked me out as your mark.
Anyway, Oscar gives you some healthy competition - Oscar? - Helps sell the con.
What? Are you jealous? Hmm? Just a little bit? Hmm? I was busy.
What's with all this laughing and stuff that was going on? What, mm? Busy listening in on comms, I hope.
No, but I -- you were -- You had that kind of like "ha.
" Getting a few tips and ideas from Oscar? What ideas? Well, ideas about romance and setting the mood and seduction and compliments and mm, dating stuff.
Okay.
First of all, I know how to do all that stuff.
I know what all that's about.
And I know how to date.
I've dated before, Sophie.
I -- it's how we -- No.
I mean, we haven't defined what we are.
But we're definitely not dating.
- Okay, but -- - Listen, you want to get close to Meredith, then you don't have to actually, you know, seduce me.
You just have to convince her that you're capable of seducing me, make it believable.
Okay.
Here's what -- here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna set up a -- a meet cute, all right? And, um -- and I'm gonna start by saying, "hey" -- No, Nate, Nate, Nate.
No, no, no, no, no.
- You can't script this.
No.
- What? Why not? I -- well, if -- if I know what your approach is, then my reactions -- they're not gonna be genuine.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It has to be a real date, and you, my friend, have to be very very charming.
Ah.
- How do you get this -- - Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh.
No.
I'm sorry.
I have to get my beauty sleep.
I have a very hot date with Oscar tomorrow.
Tick, tock.
All right, this emcee guy's name's Oscar San Guillermo.
No priors.
He picked Sophie up at 7:20, and they went to a, uh Swank Bar on Third.
He had two mojitos.
She had a 2008 Pouilly-Fuissé.
What? Did you get the name of the restaurant? - I just said it was Swank.
- Why do you have to editorialize? They left Swank at 8:15.
They went to a place called La Dolce Vita.
They got seated immediately, which is pretty outstanding, considering it's a two-week wait just to get in there.
At 11:30, they left.
They scheduled a brunch, and he brought her straight home.
That's the end.
Reservations today are at La Chateau Lyon.
Oh, geez.
It's La Châtillon.
Châtillon.
Three-star Michelin rating.
It's got a solid 29 Zagat.
I mean, this San Gui, he's got -- he's got good taste, man.
San Gui? Yeah, short for San Guillermo.
He prefers it to Oscar.
Ahh.
What a day.
Yes.
What a day.
Sometimes it's fun to kick a man when he's down.
We set? Oh, sure, right.
Speaking of which, did you ever find that steak place? - The bet's off.
- What you mean the bet's off? The second that we found out they were grifters, the bet's off.
That doesn't count.
You didn't set -- Page 189, rule number 7 in the bro handbook.
What? There wasn't no rules.
You didn't set any rules.
The bet is off in a situation where -- - I'll be damned if it's off.
- All right, then! I'll make you some prime rib when this is over.
Bone in, well-done? - Well-done, bone in.
- All right.
Man, I love it when restaurants get all corporatey on me.
Hacking into La Châtillon's reservation and employee schedule list was a morceau of gâteau.
We are in.
All right, man, work starts in an hour.
You are the sous chef.
I am the sommelier visiting from the South African winery.
- Sommelier? - Sommelier.
- Again? - Yes.
Do you want me to teach you about the wines again? That's just hurtful.
Just -- just making assumptions and presumptions that I don't know what I'm -- Yes, I need you to teach me about the wines again, yes.
Oh.
Your sommelier will be with you shortly to pour the malbec.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
So lovely.
- Bon appétit.
- Thank you.
You look like you're enjoying yourself.
I assume this little gift is from you, Meredith.
That's a two-way transmitter.
I can hear everything you say and everything she says, so no cheating.
Now impress me.
Will you be having one of the brunch selections, sir? I will.
Flight of reds, please.
Have you changed your mind? No, no! No, no.
I was just wondering, also, if I could maybe get a five-letter word from you for "makes one's hair stand on end.
" It's La Châtillon does not have words on the menu, sir.
Enjoy.
You seem a little distracted.
Oh.
Hello.
Hello.
This is the Argentine malbec.
It is characterized by its intense fruity flavor and deep plum color, while it does not have tan-tan-tan T-tannic -- tannic structure.
Tannic structure of a French malbec Whose texture is more plush, they have been known to show a similar aging potential.
You didn't even say the whole thing, Hardison.
Hey, come here.
Stop.
That's -- no.
No, go.
Put -- sprinkle some sea salt.
Just a little salt.
Guys, the first address -- it's a marina.
I can't search every boat for Meredith's files.
I'm heading to the second address.
Parker, we're counting on you.
The whole date side of this con can go either way.
Enjoy.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so -- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my gosh.
- No, it's all right.
Oh, that's a good idea.
That works.
That works.
I've tried that.
- No, no, no.
That's enough.
Enough.
- Let me -- let me take this.
- May I -- - Let me -- I said enough! You've done enough.
Thank you.
Sorry.
I Uh, excuse me, duchess.
I, uh think I'll be a while.
Stay right there.
I -- I Ugh! What an idiot.
- Allow me.
- Thank you, sir.
Oh.
Thank you.
I'm so embarrassed.
I, um -- I didn't prepare for this situation.
Yeah, it's all right.
I don't often get to play the white knight.
Gus McAvoy, distributor.
Oh.
Scottish? Eh, on my father's father's side.
Oh.
Please, join me.
Oh, thank you very much.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
Lady Charlotte Prentice.
That's lovely.
Tease.
Excuse me? Five-letter word, makes your hair stand up.
Oh, right.
Well, look at that.
It's the key to the whole thing.
Listen, would you like to, um get some dessert? There's this wonderful Italian-ice place down by the water.
I hear it puts La Châtillon's sorbet to shame.
Sounds good.
Yeah? Nice hook.
Now let's see if you can land her.
Hey, brother, here's a $20, man.
Can you play something romantic? Something to kind of mix it up a little? He's one of yours.
Very nice.
Setting the mood.
All right, Parker, you got that second address yet? Yeah, I'm in.
There's not much here.
No wall safe.
I'll check the computer and the hard-copy files.
Let's just sit right over here.
Oh.
That was a mistake.
The ice plus the shade will give her a chill.
Game over.
Nice meeting you.
Oh, here, let me, uh Clever boy.
Always thinking ahead, aren't you? Eliot, there's nothing here.
It's just a front.
There's not even a computer to hook up to the monitor.
Hang on a second.
There's a portrait.
It's Lacey.
She signed it, "thanks for everything.
Heart, Julie.
" But facial-recognition app confirms it's her.
Eliot, that is our first solid lead.
Look, if Lacey signed that photo, she's touched it.
That's my thinking, too.
Parker, grab the photo.
We might be able to tell something from it.
- We're close to being done here.
- Yeah, I got it.
It still only says, "thanks for everything.
Heart, Julie.
" Oh.
Ah.
Here you go.
Hey, it's best to keep the ball right in front of you, always.
Sweet.
How did you arrange that? Did you ever play catch with your father? Nah.
No.
No, we went to, uh, Fenway pretty much every year, went to a lot of games.
He loved baseball.
You had that, at least.
We sat there in the stands with our gloves, waiting for a foul ball.
Then he was just -- wasn't Jimmy.
You know, he was -- he was my dad.
I mean, he didn't give me much, but he -- he gave me that.
Well, it can't have been all bad if he passed on his passion, even if that passion's for a sport that's not quite cricket.
- Cricket? - What? I know my cricket.
Give me a batsman, a couple of balls, and you'll see if I can't outstump him.
You really are beautiful.
Hmm.
- Let's go.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Meredith is off comms.
Parker? I'm here.
Is Sophie ready? Eliot, Hardison, we need to analyze that portrait.
Meet me at the car.
Time to get a move on.
I thought that's what you have been doing.
Listen.
I picked you.
I didn't pick the others.
Hardison, Parker, Eliot -- I picked you.
All right? I am impressed.
Oh.
Seems we have terms to discuss.
A new partnership to celebrate.
Excellent.
Uh where should we meet? My car's just right over -- Get in.
Okay.
Looks like Meredith's town car is headed for the marina.
I can track the GPS, but Nate's still off comms.
I don't like it.
This woman's left a lot of bodies in the road.
Yeah, but Nate's not a mark.
No, it's perfect.
He gets close to Meredith, gets access to her files, - while we all -- - Get all "CSI" on the picture.
Yeah.
Try that one.
No.
Try that one.
It's Lacey.
Okay, it matches a Christine Valada.
Now, look, it says Lacey/Christine's address is just a few minutes from here.
It's Sunday.
I bet she's home.
Yeah.
Let's pay Christine Valada a visit, shall we? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Parker, slow down! Parker! So, come on, 75/25 -- that your best offer? Take it or leave it.
Yeah, well, you know, you put it like that, I'm all-in.
This is it.
Nice boat.
It was my late husband's.
Permission to come aboard.
Granted.
This is not what I expected.
Me neither.
Hello? Hello? Hi, there.
Hi.
Hi.
Christine Valada? Yes, that's me.
What can I do for you? Also Lacey Beaumont Wellesley? No.
I didn't -- please! I didn't contact him, I swear.
Oh, please.
Please tell me you haven't hurt Walt.
We're not here to hurt anybody.
We're here to find you.
Wellesley sent us.
Don't you think we should get a photo to commemorate this momentous occasion? Plenty of time for that later.
Ho! Now, I have a feeling that you know as much about your champagne as you do your whiskey.
I find it useful to be conversant.
Ah, yes.
I suppose it would be remiss of me not to mention that I already have a partner.
San Gui.
Yes, I hear you prefer that to Oscar.
Yeah.
Well, well.
So, you told Meredith you were done.
You wanted out.
Once I'd sent her $2 million, I -- I figured she'd allow me to go my own way.
You underestimated her greed.
I underestimated her fear.
My falling in love with a mark meant she could no longer trust me.
Oh.
She thought you were gonna tell your husband everything.
If I so much as contacted Walt, he'd meet with some terrible accident.
Just like her late husbands did.
She was right.
I would have told him the truth.
I just hadn't gotten up the courage yet.
Do you let them hate the real you or love the fake you? You're saying you didn't know anything about her killing these guys going in.
No.
I didn't put it all together until they threatened me with Walt.
I'd never have joined her crew if I'd known.
Hand them over.
What There you go.
What? Oh.
There.
Here we are.
Guys, we have a mayday situation.
Nate's comm just went online and off again.
His GPS is dead, too.
You FBI? No.
No, no.
I'm not a -- I'm not a fed.
I'm a thief.
Thought if I could get close enough to your files, I could maybe, you know, use your marks or one or two of your girls to start my own scheme.
His last-known coordinates were the marina.
Yeah, and I still never solved the waterproofing problem.
Look, the comms still go out when they're submerged in water.
Parker, you're with me.
As good as you are, you're not nearly as good as you think you are.
It's obvious you don't have what it takes to do what I do.
What -- what is it, exactly, you think I'm lacking? Ruthlessness.
You're far too vulnerable and open.
I've watched you with the duchess.
You're half in love with her already, falling prey to the very techniques you employ.
Hey, you mean falling in love.
There's no such thing as love.
Sorry, buddy.
Olly olly oxen free.
Oh, you're good.
So I've been told.
I never suspected you at all, not for a moment.
Of course not.
As good as you are, you're not nearly as good as you think you are.
I destroyed his ear bud before I said that.
How did you I heard you go over.
If not you, then wh-- Yeah.
Come on.
Fisticuffs? Really? All right.
Let's go.
What do you want, 50/50? I wasn't lying when I said I was after your records.
I'll never give them up.
Ah.
But you already have.
As good as you are, you're not nearly as good as you think you are.
Okay, good.
It's there.
It's all there.
All the data -- I'm e-mailing it now to Nate.
Right now, all your details are being sent to every rich and powerful mark you have on file.
Oh, and your fingerprints -- already been forwarded to the authorities, just in case they want to look into the deaths of all those late husbands.
If I were you, I'd start running.
Now.
Ha! Shall we? Thank you.
Mmm! Let's get out of here.
True love does exist.
May it always prevail.
- Hear, hear.
- Slainte.
Looking for a Miss Devereaux.
Mm.
That's me.
And a Parker.
Ooh.
Ooh.
These ones? Yeah.
That's for you.
- There you are.
- Thanks.
I take it all back.
Mwah.
Every word.
- You are romantic.
- Ooh.
Oh.
They're beautiful.
It eats flies.
Huh.
A plant that does something.
That's nice.
Thanks.
Should I feed it mice, like a snake? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They're my favorite.
- It's got teeth.
Smell.
Uh, they smell nice? It doesn't really smell.
I don't recognize this number, which means you shouldn't be talking to me.
A call to arms, Mr.
Ford.
In my dealings, I've discovered an innocent who's been wronged.
An engineer's invention was stolen by a corporation.
If you and your team acquire the patent, you can prove the company owes him millions.
You make a few investments ahead of time, bet against our opponents.
A finder's fee.
You punish.
I profit.
Well, it sounds tempting, Latimer, I'll give you that.
Something I want, no downside.
Problem is, I've made that offer a hundred times to a hundred marks.
I know a con when I spin one.
No, thanks.
We could have been friends, Mr.
Ford.
I don't need any friends, Latimer.
Ah.
He wouldn't take the job.
You do that, it's war.
Well, war it is, then.