Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e15 Episode Script
Pavement
Guess who write tonight's show?
Come on, guess.
Who write it?
Me! I writed!
Greetings, everyone!
I am Space Ghost, the most powerful
being that have ever existed
in the world of the universe!
You know it, I know it, Moltar know it,
zorak know it, tansut know it,
Brak know it, lokar know it,
and those other people know it, too.
It is a pleasure to work for someone So good.
Thank you, Moltar.
Zorak?
"I am a foul and degenerate creature.
I will now play the music."
Zorak, that was very bad, that song you played.
You go to prison.
Nuts to that action!
Stick with the script!
All right, all right, I'm going to prison! Jeez!
Moltar, get me the Beatles to
replace zorak. A-ok, chief!
Uh, Space Ghost, I-I'm not going
to be able to get the Beatles.
Shh, just get anybody.
The audience won't know.
They're all stupid.
They're all stupid.
Am I really going to prison?
No, just go stand over there.
Moltar, get me a guest.
You just told me to get the Beatles.
Moltar, you go to prison.
I'm confused by this whole deal.
I'm confused by this whole deal.
Hey, welcome to prison.
Wait a second what are you in for?
All right, everyone freeze!
Don't move!
Moltar, go back to your post.
You are no longer a prisoner.
That was a flashback.
Oh.
All right, now we're back
in the present, where I am a
superhero talk show host who is
also a successful defense attorney
aaaaaandAction!
Me? Yeah.
Master master, I offer unto thee tv's Colin Quinn.
Choke on it.
Tv's Colin Quinn!
Prepare to bask in my greatness!
Thanks, Space Ghost.
It's a pleasure to be here.
It is I who is administering
the pleasure on this show.
Is this posture too effeminate? Is this ok?
It doesn't really matter, because even
though I've just made you a big star,
it doesn't really matter, because even
though I've just made you a big star,
you're no longer a guest on my show.
Ok.
Next guest, Moltar!
Oh, uh, tv's red green.
Oh, uh, tv's red green.
You are, uh, you are, uh, you're a big fella.
You are, uh, you are, uh, you're a big fella.
That's sweet.
You are a big, big fella.
You are a big, big fella.
No! I'm a big, big star!
From this point on, no one talk to me!
From this point on, no one talk to me!
I would like my chocolate ice cream now.
I would like my chocolate ice cream now.
Here's your chocolate ice cream, my lord.
Thank you, stupid idiot.
Arrrggh!
Arrrggh!
You're welcome.
Gosh sakes.
Silence!
All right.
I have a couple of poems, would you like one?
Hold that thought, red.
It's time for me to read a poem now.
When your life's a chain of troubles,
and your dreams all broken bubbles,
and your dreams all broken bubbles,
while your woes recur in doubles,
simply pause, and smile awhile.
Simply pause, and smile awhile.
I'm crying, because I wanted you to
see the full range Of my emotions.
Of my emotions.
I might stop by your lodge someday, red!
I might stop by your lodge someday, red!
Give us lots of warning, huh?
And remember
Yikes. Don't come on Mexican night,
you'll regret it.
Thank you, red. Now go away from
my monitor screen. That's it.
The Beatles have arrived, my liege.
Colin, the Beatles are here!
Space Ghost, Space Ghost, he's a
Laughing at me with your big
star mouth. Let us see how
zorak is doing in prison.
Let us see how zorak is doing in prison.
Is that where you say something?
Oh! Um
"Oh, I am in my cell.
"Oh, how I wished I would
have played that song good
and that I was back in my keyboard."
Justice has been deserved.
Don't go away, we'll be right
back with meet the Beatles.
We're back!
Now is the time for a special
segment of my show called
"Space Ghost of the cosmos calling."
Hey, wait a minute this isn't in the script!
Hey, wait a minute this isn't in the script!
Hello, Timmy, is that you?
Hello, hello!
Hi, Timmy hi, Timmy
I mean, hi, Space Ghost!
Hi, Timmy!
Space Ghost of the cosmos calling.
Hi, Timmy!
Space Ghost of the cosmos calling.
Oh, boy!
I can't believe it!
Oh, boy!
I can't believe it!
Is it really you?
You better believe it, Timmy!
Your show is the bestest!
Your show is the bestest!
Thanks, Timmy.
Keep plugging away.
Thanks, Timmy.
Keep plugging away.
But space And keep on truckin'!
And keep on truckin'!
I've been sick! I've been so very sick!
Oh, well, uh Come on, get better, why don't you?
Thank you, Space Ghost.
I'm starting That's right, Timmy.
And tell your doctor that Space Ghost
of the cosmos made a house call!
And tell your doctor that Space Ghost
of the cosmos made a house call!
This is the best show ever.
Welcome back stupid viewers you'll watch
anythng go ahead change the channel
you"ll be back
and now, right here on our stage tonight,
the Beatles!
Space Ghost!
What?
I am living the high life I am Now,
ladies and gentlemen,
the delightful Goldie hawn!
Thank you very much, Space Ghost.
I am, I am, I am
Space Ghost You look great, Goldie!
How do you stay in such great shape?
The dalai lama.
What?
What?
He is a very special What?
Living the high life
living the high life living the high life
living the high life
living the high life Space Ghost
living the high life Space Ghost
living the high life Space Ghost
Space Ghost
That was jolly good.
Jolly good.
Time to go.
Bye-bye.
Now it appears that it's time
for our next guest to appear.
Moltar, send out my next guest.
I will be back shortly,
so don't worry about sending
the guest out now. Just do it now.
As you wish, o mighty, mighty one.
This just bites, is all.
What did you say?
I said, this just bites, is all!
What page are you on?
This is the worst show!
You know it, I know it, zorak know it.
You know it, I know it, zorak know it.
"I, zorak, have decided to dig a tunnel to escape"
shut up, zorak!
"Prison."
On we go! Greet me, Tommy Davidson!
Spaaace ghost!
Space Ghost
Space Ghost ok.
All right.
Out in the u-u-universe
Woo, lord.
Ok, I hear ya.
What did I just say?
Woo, lord!
You are an attentive listener.
I like the shape of your head.
I like you.
I like you, too, Dan.
Ahem. "This tunnel that I
am digging out of the prison
"is much longer and much more
fficult than I had anticipated."
I am here to help you in your time of trouble.
Ladies and gentlemen, the great gazoo!
Toodle-oo, dum dums!
The great gazoo, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey!
I thought he was supposed
to help me with my tunnel!
No, that was a cameo.
Helloooo?
zo-rak
we are here wai-ting
me-ee a-a-and Space Ghost That's right, Tommy
we are here waiting
me and Tommy
hey, Space Ghost, about this finale.
How are you going to do all this stuff
with Jupiter, andWho's fidor?
Yeah, where are you going to
get the money for all that?
I don't think it's feasible.
Just read your line.
"Space Ghost, fidor is trying to eat Jupiter."
Someone must stop him.
Sounds like fidor needs to go out for a walk,
sounds like fidor needs to go
out for a walk, Space Ghost style!
Good one.
Ruff! Space Ghost! Ruff ruff!
Looks like your bark is
worse than your bite, fidor!
Ruff!
Once again, I have saved the universe!
All evil everywhere is vanquished,
just like I write it to happen.
"Hail the returning hero."
Yes, yes, yes.
And also, Moltar, from this point
on I write all the world shows,
because everyone watching turns
out to like them so much.
Tommy Davidson, you may now
return safely to your planet.
Thanks for having me.
Zorak, I am freeing you from
prison at this very moment.
Oh, how I there. All is well all over the place.
There. All is well all over the place.
You may now be left with the Beatles.
Space Ghost
Space Ghost
ooooh-wah ooooh, ooooh
ooooh-wah ooooh-wah, ooooh-wah
Space Ghost
Space Ghost
This show is so good,
I'm thinking about not even airing it.
Come on, guess.
Who write it?
Me! I writed!
Greetings, everyone!
I am Space Ghost, the most powerful
being that have ever existed
in the world of the universe!
You know it, I know it, Moltar know it,
zorak know it, tansut know it,
Brak know it, lokar know it,
and those other people know it, too.
It is a pleasure to work for someone So good.
Thank you, Moltar.
Zorak?
"I am a foul and degenerate creature.
I will now play the music."
Zorak, that was very bad, that song you played.
You go to prison.
Nuts to that action!
Stick with the script!
All right, all right, I'm going to prison! Jeez!
Moltar, get me the Beatles to
replace zorak. A-ok, chief!
Uh, Space Ghost, I-I'm not going
to be able to get the Beatles.
Shh, just get anybody.
The audience won't know.
They're all stupid.
They're all stupid.
Am I really going to prison?
No, just go stand over there.
Moltar, get me a guest.
You just told me to get the Beatles.
Moltar, you go to prison.
I'm confused by this whole deal.
I'm confused by this whole deal.
Hey, welcome to prison.
Wait a second what are you in for?
All right, everyone freeze!
Don't move!
Moltar, go back to your post.
You are no longer a prisoner.
That was a flashback.
Oh.
All right, now we're back
in the present, where I am a
superhero talk show host who is
also a successful defense attorney
aaaaaandAction!
Me? Yeah.
Master master, I offer unto thee tv's Colin Quinn.
Choke on it.
Tv's Colin Quinn!
Prepare to bask in my greatness!
Thanks, Space Ghost.
It's a pleasure to be here.
It is I who is administering
the pleasure on this show.
Is this posture too effeminate? Is this ok?
It doesn't really matter, because even
though I've just made you a big star,
it doesn't really matter, because even
though I've just made you a big star,
you're no longer a guest on my show.
Ok.
Next guest, Moltar!
Oh, uh, tv's red green.
Oh, uh, tv's red green.
You are, uh, you are, uh, you're a big fella.
You are, uh, you are, uh, you're a big fella.
That's sweet.
You are a big, big fella.
You are a big, big fella.
No! I'm a big, big star!
From this point on, no one talk to me!
From this point on, no one talk to me!
I would like my chocolate ice cream now.
I would like my chocolate ice cream now.
Here's your chocolate ice cream, my lord.
Thank you, stupid idiot.
Arrrggh!
Arrrggh!
You're welcome.
Gosh sakes.
Silence!
All right.
I have a couple of poems, would you like one?
Hold that thought, red.
It's time for me to read a poem now.
When your life's a chain of troubles,
and your dreams all broken bubbles,
and your dreams all broken bubbles,
while your woes recur in doubles,
simply pause, and smile awhile.
Simply pause, and smile awhile.
I'm crying, because I wanted you to
see the full range Of my emotions.
Of my emotions.
I might stop by your lodge someday, red!
I might stop by your lodge someday, red!
Give us lots of warning, huh?
And remember
Yikes. Don't come on Mexican night,
you'll regret it.
Thank you, red. Now go away from
my monitor screen. That's it.
The Beatles have arrived, my liege.
Colin, the Beatles are here!
Space Ghost, Space Ghost, he's a
Laughing at me with your big
star mouth. Let us see how
zorak is doing in prison.
Let us see how zorak is doing in prison.
Is that where you say something?
Oh! Um
"Oh, I am in my cell.
"Oh, how I wished I would
have played that song good
and that I was back in my keyboard."
Justice has been deserved.
Don't go away, we'll be right
back with meet the Beatles.
We're back!
Now is the time for a special
segment of my show called
"Space Ghost of the cosmos calling."
Hey, wait a minute this isn't in the script!
Hey, wait a minute this isn't in the script!
Hello, Timmy, is that you?
Hello, hello!
Hi, Timmy hi, Timmy
I mean, hi, Space Ghost!
Hi, Timmy!
Space Ghost of the cosmos calling.
Hi, Timmy!
Space Ghost of the cosmos calling.
Oh, boy!
I can't believe it!
Oh, boy!
I can't believe it!
Is it really you?
You better believe it, Timmy!
Your show is the bestest!
Your show is the bestest!
Thanks, Timmy.
Keep plugging away.
Thanks, Timmy.
Keep plugging away.
But space And keep on truckin'!
And keep on truckin'!
I've been sick! I've been so very sick!
Oh, well, uh Come on, get better, why don't you?
Thank you, Space Ghost.
I'm starting That's right, Timmy.
And tell your doctor that Space Ghost
of the cosmos made a house call!
And tell your doctor that Space Ghost
of the cosmos made a house call!
This is the best show ever.
Welcome back stupid viewers you'll watch
anythng go ahead change the channel
you"ll be back
and now, right here on our stage tonight,
the Beatles!
Space Ghost!
What?
I am living the high life I am Now,
ladies and gentlemen,
the delightful Goldie hawn!
Thank you very much, Space Ghost.
I am, I am, I am
Space Ghost You look great, Goldie!
How do you stay in such great shape?
The dalai lama.
What?
What?
He is a very special What?
Living the high life
living the high life living the high life
living the high life
living the high life Space Ghost
living the high life Space Ghost
living the high life Space Ghost
Space Ghost
That was jolly good.
Jolly good.
Time to go.
Bye-bye.
Now it appears that it's time
for our next guest to appear.
Moltar, send out my next guest.
I will be back shortly,
so don't worry about sending
the guest out now. Just do it now.
As you wish, o mighty, mighty one.
This just bites, is all.
What did you say?
I said, this just bites, is all!
What page are you on?
This is the worst show!
You know it, I know it, zorak know it.
You know it, I know it, zorak know it.
"I, zorak, have decided to dig a tunnel to escape"
shut up, zorak!
"Prison."
On we go! Greet me, Tommy Davidson!
Spaaace ghost!
Space Ghost
Space Ghost ok.
All right.
Out in the u-u-universe
Woo, lord.
Ok, I hear ya.
What did I just say?
Woo, lord!
You are an attentive listener.
I like the shape of your head.
I like you.
I like you, too, Dan.
Ahem. "This tunnel that I
am digging out of the prison
"is much longer and much more
fficult than I had anticipated."
I am here to help you in your time of trouble.
Ladies and gentlemen, the great gazoo!
Toodle-oo, dum dums!
The great gazoo, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey!
I thought he was supposed
to help me with my tunnel!
No, that was a cameo.
Helloooo?
zo-rak
we are here wai-ting
me-ee a-a-and Space Ghost That's right, Tommy
we are here waiting
me and Tommy
hey, Space Ghost, about this finale.
How are you going to do all this stuff
with Jupiter, andWho's fidor?
Yeah, where are you going to
get the money for all that?
I don't think it's feasible.
Just read your line.
"Space Ghost, fidor is trying to eat Jupiter."
Someone must stop him.
Sounds like fidor needs to go out for a walk,
sounds like fidor needs to go
out for a walk, Space Ghost style!
Good one.
Ruff! Space Ghost! Ruff ruff!
Looks like your bark is
worse than your bite, fidor!
Ruff!
Once again, I have saved the universe!
All evil everywhere is vanquished,
just like I write it to happen.
"Hail the returning hero."
Yes, yes, yes.
And also, Moltar, from this point
on I write all the world shows,
because everyone watching turns
out to like them so much.
Tommy Davidson, you may now
return safely to your planet.
Thanks for having me.
Zorak, I am freeing you from
prison at this very moment.
Oh, how I there. All is well all over the place.
There. All is well all over the place.
You may now be left with the Beatles.
Space Ghost
Space Ghost
ooooh-wah ooooh, ooooh
ooooh-wah ooooh-wah, ooooh-wah
Space Ghost
Space Ghost
This show is so good,
I'm thinking about not even airing it.