Steven Universe (2013) s04e15 Episode Script
The New Crystal Gems
- Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # Garnet: # believe in Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # [Gasps.]
Oh! Good, old natural sand! That fancy zoo sand was too fine for me.
- Hey! Steven! - Connie! [Laughing.]
You're back, and you're okay! Did you get your ears pierced? Oh, man, you're not gonna believe what happened! We went to a far-off space station, we made some new friends, we warped the space-time continuum! I'm sorry we left you behind.
It's okay.
You were really worried about your dad.
I'm just glad you're all back safe.
Yep all thanks to this guy.
Did anything happen while we were gone? Uh Lion behaved himself, I restocked all the cereal and washed all the towels.
Sounds like everything went well.
Well, there was a little trouble When I got that call from you, I could tell you had a lot going on.
Dad's in trouble and we need to go into space to get him back! I can get there in 15.
Or actually maybe 20, 25 'cause I might have to take the bus There's no time! We're going right now.
Just protect Beach City for me while we're gone! You can count on me! It was a big job for one person, but I felt up to the challenge.
I made my way over to your house, and that's when I realized I wasn't alone.
[Gasps.]
Hyah! Uh, don't you knock? Weirdo.
Lapis? Peridot? What are you doing here? Just showing off my old room to Oh, wait.
Actually, that's none of your business! Who is this, and what is she doing in Steven's house? That's Steven's third-best friend after me and you.
Um, Lapis, you don't remember me? Mmm You almost drowned me when you tried to steal the world's water.
I almost drowned a lot of people.
I'm Connie.
I'm Peridot! And this is our pumpkin.
[Barks.]
Oh! Hello! [Barks.]
So Steven told me you guys retired to the country.
What brings you here? Garnet trusted us with a mission! Oh, Steven gave me one, too.
I just hope I don't let him down.
You probably will.
That's why they put us in charge of protecting Beach City.
But Steven asked me to do that! You really think we need your help? Wait a minute! Maybe we do need your help.
The Crystal Gems have been protecting this world with a specialized team.
Three gems, each with their own role, and a human! Well, Steven's only half human, but, hmm, close enough.
Meaning? To do the job of the Crystal Gems, we need to do the jobs of the Crystal Gems! We four Four? I'm counting Pumpkin.
[Barks.]
We each need to pick someone from the original team and perform their role in the group! We can be exactly like them but better! That sort of makes sense.
I call Garnet! I'm obviously best suited to being the boss.
You are very bossy.
Thank you.
Then I'll do what Steven does.
Lapis, you can be Amethyst.
Which one is she? I'm joking.
Great! You're already in character! What about your pumpkin? Whatever.
She can be Pearl.
[Barks.]
New Crystal Gems, congregate! That means come over here and do a cool pose.
[Gulls squawking.]
Hmm! Let's see Nothing there.
Judging from what Steven tells me, everything's normal! There! Am I doing it? Am I as aloof and distant as the Garnet? You were, until you started to ask so many questions! [Snickers.]
[Barking.]
[Horn honking.]
Man: Help! That sounds like it's coming from the car wash! Go! New Crystal Gems! What seems to be the trouble here, Beach City citizen? It's my dad! Some jerks have been messing with his head! [Fly buzzing.]
It was funny till he made me bring it here.
Can you guys wash it off? Oh, right! If Mr.
Universe and Steven are in outer space then we should run the car wash! Ahem.
Uh, "water" we waiting for? Ha ha! Good one, Steven.
Whatever you say, dudes.
Burp! [Barking.]
Well said, Pearl! [Grunting.]
What? Whoa! Here's your vehicle washed and buffed! Courtesy of the new Crystal Gems! That was cool.
Thanks! After such a rocky start, it finally seemed like the new Crystal Gems were coming together! Or were we? [Horns honking.]
Whoa! Looks like word got around.
Encore! Encore! I know what everyone is really here to see! Beach City citizens, witness the Garnet! [Grunting.]
[Crowd oohing.]
[Crowd ahhing.]
Amethyst, your performance is lacking! Mess around! Crack some jokes! Oh, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? [All gasp.]
Lapis! Uh, the Steven doesn't think that's funny! [Gurgles.]
Ha.
I can't believe this! The only one taking anything seriously around here is Pumpkin! [Barking.]
That's right.
Pearl does like soap.
Uh, hey, you gonna bring our car down? Do not interrupt the Garnet! Everyone will have a turn! [Murmurs.]
Oops! Peridot, put that guy down! No one bosses the Garnet! Well, Garnet wouldn't yell at people! I agree.
Maybe you should let someone else play the Garnet.
Eh? [Crowd gasping.]
[Screaming.]
[Murmuring.]
No! Amethyst, I have the glasses! There is no Amethyst! Only Garnet! What are you guys doing?! [Grunting.]
Hmm! [Groans.]
[Whimpers.]
Oh, no.
Gotta Steven this somehow.
Look at us! We're all fighting with each other! But we all love each other.
And you all love me.
So we all have to do this together for love! Steven would have had a better speech.
I know.
She didn't even cry.
[Sighs.]
Connie: The wash was a wash.
And so were the new Crystal Gems.
I've done a lot of thinking about what's been going wrong with this team-up, and I think it's obvious now that the problem is all of you! Connie, you completely lack Steven's sentimentality.
He would have had a much more inspiring speech yesterday.
Lapis, your lack of humor has been hurting our morale.
Maybe you should switch with Pumpkin.
Let's make Pumpkin the Garnet.
You should be the Pearl.
I'm nothing like Pearl.
She's so uptight and sensitive! How dare you?! I'm leaving! That's so funny! You should be Amethyst! That's so dumb! You should be a clod! Oh, so now I'm a clod? I think you're the clod.
Wow! Your Peridot impression is lousy, too! Will you two can it?! That's not a very Steven thing to say.
I don't care! So I'm not Steven! Maybe he's really great at helping people work out these arguments! Maybe he's really patient and caring, even though it must be hard for him having to be the adult for a bunch of super-powered children! We're both thousands of years older than you.
Then act like it! Be the gems you've been for thousands of years, instead of playing this silly game.
It's impossible trying to solve problems if we're just trying to copy other people.
Oh, what's the point of this? We'll never be the Crystal Gems, we're just the Crystal Temps.
But we have our own way of doing things.
So let's go back to that, to fix this mess we made.
- You do make a good Steven.
- Watch it.
Well if there's one thing Peridots are good at, it's fixing things! I guess I could help wash away the rubble.
And I'll help us organize.
So here's how I think we should start You sure you wrecked anything? The car wash looks good as new.
Well, except, we couldn't repair the sign.
Well, about time I got a new one.
Guess I'll give my neon guy a call.
Well, don't get out your checkbook yet.
Bring it on out! Introducing [Music.]
- a new sign! - For your business! We made it ourselves! Look at it, it's great! - I think I love it! - Really? That old sign was okay, but this one's got personality! Well, it wasn't much of a mission, but I guess we handled that all right.
I knew you would.
Does that mean we can do a victory pose? Okay.
Together: Go, Crystal Temps!
Oh! Good, old natural sand! That fancy zoo sand was too fine for me.
- Hey! Steven! - Connie! [Laughing.]
You're back, and you're okay! Did you get your ears pierced? Oh, man, you're not gonna believe what happened! We went to a far-off space station, we made some new friends, we warped the space-time continuum! I'm sorry we left you behind.
It's okay.
You were really worried about your dad.
I'm just glad you're all back safe.
Yep all thanks to this guy.
Did anything happen while we were gone? Uh Lion behaved himself, I restocked all the cereal and washed all the towels.
Sounds like everything went well.
Well, there was a little trouble When I got that call from you, I could tell you had a lot going on.
Dad's in trouble and we need to go into space to get him back! I can get there in 15.
Or actually maybe 20, 25 'cause I might have to take the bus There's no time! We're going right now.
Just protect Beach City for me while we're gone! You can count on me! It was a big job for one person, but I felt up to the challenge.
I made my way over to your house, and that's when I realized I wasn't alone.
[Gasps.]
Hyah! Uh, don't you knock? Weirdo.
Lapis? Peridot? What are you doing here? Just showing off my old room to Oh, wait.
Actually, that's none of your business! Who is this, and what is she doing in Steven's house? That's Steven's third-best friend after me and you.
Um, Lapis, you don't remember me? Mmm You almost drowned me when you tried to steal the world's water.
I almost drowned a lot of people.
I'm Connie.
I'm Peridot! And this is our pumpkin.
[Barks.]
Oh! Hello! [Barks.]
So Steven told me you guys retired to the country.
What brings you here? Garnet trusted us with a mission! Oh, Steven gave me one, too.
I just hope I don't let him down.
You probably will.
That's why they put us in charge of protecting Beach City.
But Steven asked me to do that! You really think we need your help? Wait a minute! Maybe we do need your help.
The Crystal Gems have been protecting this world with a specialized team.
Three gems, each with their own role, and a human! Well, Steven's only half human, but, hmm, close enough.
Meaning? To do the job of the Crystal Gems, we need to do the jobs of the Crystal Gems! We four Four? I'm counting Pumpkin.
[Barks.]
We each need to pick someone from the original team and perform their role in the group! We can be exactly like them but better! That sort of makes sense.
I call Garnet! I'm obviously best suited to being the boss.
You are very bossy.
Thank you.
Then I'll do what Steven does.
Lapis, you can be Amethyst.
Which one is she? I'm joking.
Great! You're already in character! What about your pumpkin? Whatever.
She can be Pearl.
[Barks.]
New Crystal Gems, congregate! That means come over here and do a cool pose.
[Gulls squawking.]
Hmm! Let's see Nothing there.
Judging from what Steven tells me, everything's normal! There! Am I doing it? Am I as aloof and distant as the Garnet? You were, until you started to ask so many questions! [Snickers.]
[Barking.]
[Horn honking.]
Man: Help! That sounds like it's coming from the car wash! Go! New Crystal Gems! What seems to be the trouble here, Beach City citizen? It's my dad! Some jerks have been messing with his head! [Fly buzzing.]
It was funny till he made me bring it here.
Can you guys wash it off? Oh, right! If Mr.
Universe and Steven are in outer space then we should run the car wash! Ahem.
Uh, "water" we waiting for? Ha ha! Good one, Steven.
Whatever you say, dudes.
Burp! [Barking.]
Well said, Pearl! [Grunting.]
What? Whoa! Here's your vehicle washed and buffed! Courtesy of the new Crystal Gems! That was cool.
Thanks! After such a rocky start, it finally seemed like the new Crystal Gems were coming together! Or were we? [Horns honking.]
Whoa! Looks like word got around.
Encore! Encore! I know what everyone is really here to see! Beach City citizens, witness the Garnet! [Grunting.]
[Crowd oohing.]
[Crowd ahhing.]
Amethyst, your performance is lacking! Mess around! Crack some jokes! Oh, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? [All gasp.]
Lapis! Uh, the Steven doesn't think that's funny! [Gurgles.]
Ha.
I can't believe this! The only one taking anything seriously around here is Pumpkin! [Barking.]
That's right.
Pearl does like soap.
Uh, hey, you gonna bring our car down? Do not interrupt the Garnet! Everyone will have a turn! [Murmurs.]
Oops! Peridot, put that guy down! No one bosses the Garnet! Well, Garnet wouldn't yell at people! I agree.
Maybe you should let someone else play the Garnet.
Eh? [Crowd gasping.]
[Screaming.]
[Murmuring.]
No! Amethyst, I have the glasses! There is no Amethyst! Only Garnet! What are you guys doing?! [Grunting.]
Hmm! [Groans.]
[Whimpers.]
Oh, no.
Gotta Steven this somehow.
Look at us! We're all fighting with each other! But we all love each other.
And you all love me.
So we all have to do this together for love! Steven would have had a better speech.
I know.
She didn't even cry.
[Sighs.]
Connie: The wash was a wash.
And so were the new Crystal Gems.
I've done a lot of thinking about what's been going wrong with this team-up, and I think it's obvious now that the problem is all of you! Connie, you completely lack Steven's sentimentality.
He would have had a much more inspiring speech yesterday.
Lapis, your lack of humor has been hurting our morale.
Maybe you should switch with Pumpkin.
Let's make Pumpkin the Garnet.
You should be the Pearl.
I'm nothing like Pearl.
She's so uptight and sensitive! How dare you?! I'm leaving! That's so funny! You should be Amethyst! That's so dumb! You should be a clod! Oh, so now I'm a clod? I think you're the clod.
Wow! Your Peridot impression is lousy, too! Will you two can it?! That's not a very Steven thing to say.
I don't care! So I'm not Steven! Maybe he's really great at helping people work out these arguments! Maybe he's really patient and caring, even though it must be hard for him having to be the adult for a bunch of super-powered children! We're both thousands of years older than you.
Then act like it! Be the gems you've been for thousands of years, instead of playing this silly game.
It's impossible trying to solve problems if we're just trying to copy other people.
Oh, what's the point of this? We'll never be the Crystal Gems, we're just the Crystal Temps.
But we have our own way of doing things.
So let's go back to that, to fix this mess we made.
- You do make a good Steven.
- Watch it.
Well if there's one thing Peridots are good at, it's fixing things! I guess I could help wash away the rubble.
And I'll help us organize.
So here's how I think we should start You sure you wrecked anything? The car wash looks good as new.
Well, except, we couldn't repair the sign.
Well, about time I got a new one.
Guess I'll give my neon guy a call.
Well, don't get out your checkbook yet.
Bring it on out! Introducing [Music.]
- a new sign! - For your business! We made it ourselves! Look at it, it's great! - I think I love it! - Really? That old sign was okay, but this one's got personality! Well, it wasn't much of a mission, but I guess we handled that all right.
I knew you would.
Does that mean we can do a victory pose? Okay.
Together: Go, Crystal Temps!