The West Wing s04e15 Episode Script
Inauguration: Over There (Part 2)
Previously on The West Wing: - So we're dumping State's language.
- Yes.
- Which means we'll need our own.
- Yes.
Is the president gonna send troops to knock this off? The White House is monitoring the situation.
- I can tell.
- Katie.
State Department estimates yesterday put the dead at anywhere between 3000 and 7000.
- Are there revised estimates today? - Fifteen thousand.
This guy you hired for the inauguration speech gave me some backchat a few minutes ago.
- Bailey? - What are you doing? - Familiarizing myself with his tone.
- Not thinking about policy language? - I'm doing both.
- We have five days.
I'm just as big a cotton candy-ass as they are.
- Yes, sir.
- You're just gonna let that hang? Of course not.
You're a much bigger cotton candy-ass.
Damn right.
comprised of representatives of neighboring states including Ghana, Nigeria and Zaire - You don't worry about the window? - During moments of peak frustration.
When the speaker threatened to repeal the 16th Amendment.
Yankee games.
And there was the time Congress censured my boss.
But it's always held up, that window's a game-day player.
What do you need? Leo was just in here.
What did you say to the president last night? The president came to my office, just dropped in.
- I know.
What did you say? - His speech was on top.
- He read it.
- What did you say? He said,"Why is a Kundunese life worth less to me than an American life?" I said,"I don't know, sir, but it is.
" - Didn't we talk about this? - Yes.
- But you gave it a shot.
- I wasn't giving it a shot.
- It was a casual talk.
- With the president? He came here.
He was in the doorway.
The Dow plummets because of casual talks with him.
That's not the point.
- What's the point? - You can't get in his head close to something important.
You gotta keep the train on the tracks.
- I apologize, but there's a - No"but" at the end of that.
Not on this one.
This one haunts him.
It haunts everyone.
Well, I've finished the language.
- How is it? - Bloodless, compromising and half a loaf.
That's foreign policy.
"America stands today as the one truly indispensable nation.
The strongest force and the proudest voice for peace, pluralism and prosperity the world has ever known.
" Okay, keep the ancient Romans out of the first 10 rows and we're fine.
"Today, at the dawn of a new century, America needs a new commitment to protect our security, model freedom to the world.
" - To model it? - If we're not gonna help create freedom from tyranny, let's sell Barcaloungers.
We don't help create freedom from tyranny? I forgot to add"where our own interests aren't necessarily involved.
" "To do what we can to fulfill humanity's promise and to prove that self-determination is the watchword of all mankind.
" The watchword of all mankind? - I don't know what that means.
- Neither will anyone else.
The speech is better than good.
There's one vague paragraph.
We'll live with it.
More than you can say for the Kundunese.
- I'll be in my office.
- I heard once I don't know if it's true.
You convinced the president to let you rewrite the State of the Union with less than 24 hours to go.
It was the second year.
Everybody was a Republican, whether they were or not.
And people at the DNC convinced him to include the line "The era of big government is over," and you couldn't live with it.
Because government should be a place where people unite.
And no one gets left behind.
An instrument of good.
And that's exactly what we heard in the State of the Union the next night.
There were four people there when I had that conversation.
Well, if I'd have been one of them, I'd have repeated it to everyone I met.
Anyway, I'm gonna move on to some language in trade and commerce.
Okay.
I'm sorry, was Nigeria in that meeting? - Ghana, Nigeria, and what did I say? - Zaire.
Ghana, Nigeria, and Zaire.
The Arkutu met with those countries and we're told the talks were amicable but that no progress was made.
Steve? C.
J.
, there's a 1948 U.
N.
Convention on genocide, and the U.
S.
is a signatory.
It says if it's determined that genocide is taking place the U.
S.
is compelled to intervene.
Problem is, the convention distinguishes between acts of genocide and genocide.
It distinguishes between acts of genocide and genocide? - It does.
Mark? - How many acts constitute a genocide? - I don't know.
Danny? - What's the weather Sunday? Two below with the wind chill.
That's a full lid.
- C.
J.
, thank you.
- Good night, C.
J.
Two below.
Beach weather for the president.
- What's the distinction? - No idea.
I don't know what the distinction is.
I got a memo from State Close your notebook.
A memo not to call it genocide.
- I wanna talk to you.
- No, we're not gonna talk about Shareef.
- This isn't about Shareef.
- Then what? - It's a little about Shareef.
- Good day.
- C.
J.
- I said, good day, sir.
- Get in there.
- Nobody takes me seriously when I say"good day.
" - Get in there.
- Did you find the pilot? - Shareef's? - I can't remember his name.
- Jamil Bari.
Yes, I did.
He went to Augsburg Aviation in Bavaria.
He's survived by his wife and two children.
You don't wanna say you were wrong and apologize for your attitude lately? I do.
First I wanna tell you this.
- Rifts at the Pentagon.
- Jets and the Sharks.
I talked to an officer who works in U.
S.
foreign intelligence activities there who believes Miles Hutchinson is the commander in chief and in the discussion he told me the president had rescinded Executive Orders - The president hasn't rescinded orders.
- Not publicly.
This was a clumsy attempt to send a turf message to the president.
He's not a rogue, so I thought I'd give you the heads up.
The president appreciates it.
It's nothing new.
I don't know who the Jets are and who the Sharks are but it's Fitzwallace and Hutchinson.
That's pretty much what I'm writing.
Who can a researcher talk to about Pentagon employees detailed to the White House? - Josh's office.
Get it from Donna.
Hey, what are Executive Orders 11? - 11905 and 12333? - Yeah.
Making it illegal to assassinate a foreign leader.
I told you it was a little about Shareef.
All right, last looks.
C.
J.
says there are three references to mankind.
Can we make it humankind? Yeah.
Foreign Relations would like"war" changed to"war and strife.
" Yeah.
Where we say"tens of billions wasted," the OMB would like "billions and billions wasted.
" - No.
Then that's all for me.
- Got those? - Yeah.
All right.
Let's leave the building, what do you say? - Anyone playing at lota tonight? - I don't know.
Let's just go.
Ask C.
J.
Iota's a club in Arlington.
They usually have good people, wanna come out? I appreciate that.
I should put in the changes.
Ginger or Bonnie will.
But there are notes and I should be sharp tomorrow.
Okay.
He's frustrated with the foreign policy.
He wanted to change it.
- The language? - No, U.
S.
foreign policy.
Hang on.
Will? - Yeah.
- Listen The president takes seriously the question of risking American blood.
- Sure.
- Can't just send people someplace.
- I understand.
Was that it? - No.
"Do what we can to fulfill humanity's promise"? - You're kidding me now.
- No.
Leadership wants to cut it.
Okay.
Where does his Catholicism distinguish between American blood and other kinds? It doesn't, the voters do.
The voters that you champion and that I can't stand.
Yeah.
I'm gonna put these changes in.
- What's his level of frustration? - It's high.
He's here on a temp job.
He's that invested? That's never happened before, has it? No.
No, it hasn't.
Sorry.
Charlie, I'm gonna change my mind again on the Bible.
You have to imagine my utter surprise.
Aren't you afraid one day I'm gonna kick your ass like it's never been kicked? - What Bible would you prefer? - The Washington Bible.
As I said, that might be problematic to get by Sunday.
- Put it on a plane.
- Freemasons won't let it travel by plane.
What do they have to do with it? New York Freemasons have the Bible Washington was sworn in on.
It can't travel on a plane because altitude does something.
- Take a train.
- They have a rule that when it travels three Freemasons go with it.
- Buy three tickets.
It's four, because you need one for the Bible.
- The larger problem is - You trying to tell me that Freemasons don't like me? - Not a huge demo for you, no.
But they're good people, and a president is being inaugurated so let's see what we can do.
- Thank you.
- Good night, Mr.
President.
Hey.
I saw C.
J.
smiling before.
Has something good happened? - Yeah.
- What? - You didn't rescind executive orders.
- I didn't? It was an NSC Presidential Decision Directive, it's different.
- It's not different.
- It is.
That's how I was able to look C.
J.
in the eye and say you didn't rescind 11905 and that's how she was able to look Danny in the eye and do the same.
- Well, then, it was a dodged bullet.
- No, sir.
We didn't dodge nothing, they hit what they aimed at.
- Leo, come on.
- It was a shot across the bow, it was.
- This guy giving it to Danny.
- You're being paranoid.
And you're being unbelievably naive, sir.
You think in your wildest dreams that Hutchinson's running an offense? He's that pissed I asked for a Force Depletion Report he'll show me in Danny's byline, I go to Kundu and he says,"Here's what happened in Bermuda"? Him? I do.
In my wildest dreams, I do.
Abbey's already gone to bed.
I should get up there.
Hey, the chief justice wrote another opinion in verse.
- You wanna hear it? - No.
"I say this denial is not fit for trial.
" - Good night.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
Abbey.
Abigail.
Abbey, the kids are eating sugar.
How you doing? You know I gave the kids candy all the time, right? - Behind my back? - Yes.
- You bought their love? - It was for sale and I wanted it.
- Come to bed.
- I'm gonna stay up and read and watch some news.
- Okay.
Tony's grandkids were in there watching a video.
They may still be in there.
I think it's a Laurel and Hardy movie.
- His grandkids were in here? - For a while.
We had to move them because - What do you care right now? - I don't.
- Come to bed soon.
- For the record? - Yeah? - Frederick the Great told his generals: "To defend everything is to defend nothing.
" And? I don't know what that means, do you? No.
But I'm mostly asleep right now, and also I don't know what you're talking about.
- Well, that makes two of us.
Who made you crazy? Not that someone has to make you that way.
- I'll be in soon.
- You gave the girls candy? - I was their dealer, live with it.
- Come to bed.
Tanq and tonic.
Two.
Cynthia, I left a message for Donna.
She might call.
Sure.
Guy across the street is beating up a pregnant woman you don't go over and try and stop it? Guy across the street's beating anybody, I like to think I'd stop it but we're not talking about the president going to Asia or Rwanda or Qumar.
We're talking about sending other people's kids to do that.
That's always what we're talking about.
In addition to being kids, they're soldiers.
If we're about freedom from tyranny, we're about freedom from tyranny.
- And if we're not, we should shut up.
- Yes.
- You were telling Will - He said it because that's what we say.
- You weren't there.
- It's what we always say.
Sunday he's taking an oath to ensure domestic tranquility.
And to establish justice and promote the general welfare.
Stand by during atrocities, you're an accomplice.
I'm not indifferent, but self-destruction is never gonna burn itself out? You wanna send your kids into the fire? - Want to? No.
Should I? Yes.
- Why? And don't give a lefty answer.
- A lefty answer's all I've got.
- Why are you sending your kids? Because those are somebody's kids too.
Budget items in jeopardy are the M- 16's, M- 116, or Ucon, and other service items.
Founder of Ronco.
Here he is.
Hi, Ron! -Good to see you again.
-Good to see you.
How are? Snow showers will also linger across upper New England as the jet stream drives the storm into the northern Atlantic.
High press Get some more darts.
-You know what? -What? The wooden soldiers.
-You know what? -What? The wooden soldiers.
-Yes, Mr.
President.
- Leo McGarry, please.
Right away, sir.
I'm not talking about fighting two wars at once I'm not talking about wars.
Intervening when there's violence against people who are defenseless.
If we go here, they go there.
And look, more injustice there.
We elect these people.
If we'd been the world's policemen in the '30s, you and I We would've had a lot more relatives.
- Where the hell is Donna? - Leave her alone.
She's having a last night with What's his name? I called her and I've paged her.
- Leave her alone.
- I've gotta go back to the office.
- What happened? - Danny screwed me.
And somebody on one of our staffs screwed the rest of us.
I'll get the call.
- It's Toby.
- Gotta come, it's the speech.
- We're on our way.
- He wants Bailey too.
- You wanna call or want me to? - He's never been called at night by the president.
Think he should experience that before he leaves? Definitely.
Just a second, please.
It's the night manager.
There's a phone call for you.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- This is the White House operator.
- Yes, ma'am.
-I have a call from Charlie Young.
- I don't believe this! - It's not what happened.
- A, it was garbage - This is not - It was out of left field, and the source - It wasn't mine.
- What do you mean? - It got dropped in.
- Who dropped it in? - My researcher.
- Dropped it without your knowledge? - Yes.
- You're okay? - How do I sound? - Name of the researcher? - You're not.
No.
Researcher's looking out for his future.
He's 23.
Time's wasting.
- What's his name? - C.
J What's his name? That stays between me and my boss.
The researcher talked to three people on background.
Just nuts and bolts.
Asking how many nuts and bolts doesn't get this quote.
As a matter of form, he tells them what I'm writing about.
C.
J.
, I don't know who he talked to.
- I sent you to Donna.
When you asked - I'm saying it wasn't necessarily Donna.
- In a million years, do you think Donna? - No.
Yesterday, her boyfriend, Jack Reese, a Navy lieutenant commander was reassigned from a White House position and she was very angry about it.
People talk to a researcher.
They think they're not on record.
They're not on the record! No.
- C.
J.
? - Yeah? It's Donna on the phone.
Yeah? Well, this is gonna, I think, get interesting now.
- Yes.
- It's gonna get interesting.
It will capture our interest.
It will be written about.
In English, I would think, as well as Arabic? You can say that two times.
I suppose you can't blame Will completely.
- This is entirely your fault.
- He came in the office! You like Europe, he likes Europe.
Talk about Europe.
- It wasn't the subject.
- Make it one.
He says,"Here's this El Salvador speech.
" And you say - I like Europe? - Yes! - Something's happened.
- What? An aide is quoted in tomorrow's Post.
- You can go in.
- All right.
We're for freedom of speech everywhere.
We're for freedom to worship everywhere.
We're for freedom to learn for everybody.
And because you can build a bomb in your country and bring it to my country, what goes on in your country is my business.
And so we are for freedom from tyranny everywhere.
Whether in the guise of political oppression, Toby or economic slavery, Josh, or religious fanaticism, C.
J.
That most fundamental idea cannot be met with merely our support it has to be met with our strength.
Diplomatically, economically, materially and if Pharaoh still don't free the slaves he gets the plagues or my cavalry, whichever gets there first.
The USTR will go crazy and say that we're not considering global trade.
Committee members will go crazy and say I haven't consulted enough.
And the Arab world will just go indiscriminately crazy.
No country has ever had a doctrine of intervention when only humanitarian interests were at stake.
That streak's gonna end Sunday at noon.
So if you're on board with this, what I need you to do the language, this time with counsel.
- It's me.
We're gonna need new talking points for the full Cabinet, no embargoed excerpts We have to move from a lone rogue to a posse - Do I just keep standing here? - No.
Excuse me.
It is so ordered.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
All right, everything else off the table.
What were you gonna say before? I'm gonna be on the phone.
Danny's got a piece on fault lines between the White House and Pentagon.
- He writes that twice a year.
- A researcher spoke to three people one of whom was Donna, because your office keeps breakdowns of how Pentagon staff are detailed to the White House.
The researcher was given a quote which he gave to Danny's editor, who put it in.
What was the quote? "Everyone is very loyal to everyone else around here unless you wear a uniform.
" It sounds like Donna because of Jack, but there's no way she gives that quote.
- She didn't think it was on record.
- No way.
She just called me and told me.
Which I give her credit for.
You do? - Heat of the moment.
Bad timing.
- You think? I don't have time for this now.
Neither do you.
Set free the oppressed, break every yoke, clothe the naked and your light shall break forth like the dawn and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
- Ten minutes ago you promised me you'd go easy on Moses references.
- That was Isaiah.
Still.
They frighten people.
- Who? - Me.
Then here's to swimming with bowlegged women.
That tastes like nothing at all.
It has no taste or properties of any kind.
You can expect to see pieces quoting Pentagon sources on how many lives we'd lose in Kundu.
And a search and rescue group diving for a lost helicopter prop is gonna find a piece of a Gulfstream.
I think you're wrong.
But if you're right, then okay.
We should all have a little skin in this.
Well, then, that much we've accomplished.
So we're doing well so far.
- Sunday noon? - Sunday noon.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Because of Laurel and Hardy? Not because, no.
Not because of Laurel and Hardy.
That was simply the confluence of the final, you know And also, by the way, from the mouths of babes, like yourself.
Seriously, from the mouths of babes and clowns, come Listen, there's no reason why anyone needs to know about Laurel and Hardy.
Sounds like that's gonna depend a lot on my general mood.
Too cold for a parade.
Bunch of tanned-ass Southerners.
That decision was made by your chairman, who's from Massachusetts.
Which is to the south of New Hampshire.
Don't tell me geographic stereotypes.
You would have been happy walking up Pennsylvania Avenue in this cold? Walked to school each morning in weather colder than this.
From the headmaster's house to your classroom.
That's right, baby.
Just a camel hair coat, leather gloves a varsity scarf and these wits.
- It's here? - No, sir.
It was in New York.
It could've gotten here on a fast horse.
- They took the Metroliner.
- And? - The train's stuck.
- Because? - Frozen tracks.
- They didn't come last night The committee wouldn't pay for four rooms.
Three for the Freemasons, one for the Bible.
The Bible doesn't get a room.
Three rooms.
- Three rooms and four train tickets.
- Yeah.
You know what? Washington didn't bring his own Bible.
He assumed one would be provided.
Which isn't unreasonable.
A guy wants you to swear on a Bible he ought to be packing one.
Washington had someone get one across the street.
What are the chances there's a Bible in the House library? Just common courtesy, I think.
"Place your hand on this Bible.
And, oh, can I use your Bible?" That's not right.
- Morning.
- Why are they talking to me about the balls? - Political Affairs thinks it's important.
Start with the Plains States, followed by the Rust Belt and the Pacific Northwest.
- Shows you're president of the country.
- Aren't we about to demonstrate that? He could start with New Hampshire.
- Eat them up, chief.
- Thank you, Claudia.
- You throw up? - Yeah.
- About time.
- It was my third time.
Still.
They're yuckling him about the order of the balls.
That's the U.
S.
Marine Corps band right there.
Commandant's own.
These guys practice four hours a day.
So you think the chief justice has lost his mind? I didn't say he's lost his mind.
I said I said he lost his mind.
Leo thinks he's lost his mind.
- Leo's lost his mind.
- Speaking in verse.
A literary curse.
Five minutes.
He doesn't have a Bible.
Charlie's looking for one.
- Should I be? - Charlie will get it.
I've got it.
So there it is.
Let's see what happens now.
Thank you.
I don't know what to say.
I think Excuse me one second.
Listen.
Will did a great job, and I like him personally too.
But he had a bad meeting with the Public Affairs guy and people at State are focusing displeasure on him.
I told him to have a bad meeting with Public Affairs.
I know.
And I wanna use him again, but I need friends at State so I want him under the radar.
He should work at home and deal with us by phone.
- Exactly what I was gonna say.
- Yeah? - Except the part about under the radar in his house on the phone.
Leo, I want the president to appoint him deputy.
- Are you sure? - I can talk to people at State.
I don't care about State.
I'm asking.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
- You don't mean on an interim basis.
- No.
- What about Sam? - A promotion.
It's well past time.
Make him senior counselor, take the knucklehead stuff off his desk the way he did for me.
Let him concentrate on the president.
I'll advise the president.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Congratulations, this is something.
I'm sorry about the story yesterday.
- Wasn't your fault.
- Where is she? Donna? She's sitting in her apartment in a ball gown.
- Waiting for a ball? - Doesn't think it appropriate to be here.
Couldn't talk her down.
- How hard you try? - I tried hard.
- She didn't think she was on record.
- Not sure my editor knew - Doesn't matter.
Yeah.
- I thought the balance of the piece was - I haven't read it.
- I'm sorry, I haven't.
- I got a copy here if you want.
You're walking around with a copy? I think parts of it are pretty good.
When you won a Fulbright Scholarship you taped the letter to your face.
Yeah, here it is.
"Said one aide, 'We've got a situation '" The point actually was to read other parts.
"'where the White House won't give the DoD an extra 10 billion so they have to go to the Hill.
' Said the same aide, 'Everybody's loyal around here, unless you wear a uniform.
' Said the same aide" I haven't read the first part of the quote.
Said the same aide? I'm gonna kill her.
Why don't you stick around.
We're just gonna be a minute.
- Quick review.
- Wait one minute.
Good cop/bad cop.
I'm good, the four of you are bad.
- Will, Danny, what are you? - Bad cop.
- Toby? - Hurry up.
- Charlie? - I love Zoey and I must have her.
The bad cop, that's right.
Here we go.
Great news about Zoey.
I bet she's nice.
Not really, but my love knows no bounds.
- Aren't you cold? - I took off my coat to show my love.
I'd take off my shirt, but it's inappropriate.
- Not at Chippendales.
- I'm standing here.
- The buzzer's not working.
- Did you try it? - No, I divined it.
- She's not answering.
- Buzzer's not working.
There's a note.
- Call her.
No.
I know women.
I know what they're like.
Donna! Before the night's over we might have a whole new story.
Yeah! Here you go.
- Yes! - What the hell are you doing? - Get down here! Now! - Keep your voice down.
Don't tell me where to keep my voice! Get down here! - Now I'm telling you.
Keep it down! - Me too! Sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you guys.
This is a special situation.
- It's okay.
I'm the good cop! - Hi, National Enquirer? - You come down here without a coat? - I need you to keep your voice down.
Go ahead, you're entitled.
Give it all to me again.
You don't know the White House rejected 10 billion for the DoD.
You have absolutely no way of knowing that.
Jack said it.
The researcher called Jack and Jack said it.
He was working a lot of nights and it really wore him out.
And this happened.
He didn't think he was on record.
- Donna - He didn't, Josh.
That was legitimate.
- He's letting you take credit? - This guy's got a career ahead of him.
Your career isn't important? What was the point of anyone claiming? You knew it was easy to figure out it was him.
Not as easy as you made it.
- I didn't think about the top quote - The things you didn't think about your job, what the president thinks of you.
- Does he know about this? - He's about to.
You look amazing.
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Donna.
- Sorry about all this.
- Don't worry about it.
It was stupid, but menschy.
- Hey, hey, hey! Good cop/bad cop.
- Sorry.
It was just stupid.
Hey, Will.
You and Toby wrote maybe the greatest speech I've ever heard.
Thank you very much.
- We're going to a ball.
- Balls are fun.
- We're going to eight of them.
- Eight times the fun.
I actually hit the window, the rest of them went to school on my throw.
Let's go! - How you doing, Charlie? - I'm gonna win Zoey from Jean Paul.
- Excellent.
- He may be good-looking and rich and well-schooled and French royalty and live basically in a castle, but - Oh, God.
- This is what I've been telling you.
Get in the car.
I'm sorry.
Seriously, I've never lied to you before, boss, and it won't happen again.
You're gonna have to sit on somebody's lap.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- We should expect increased voices of dissent after today.
In breadth and depth.
A ship in the harbor is safe.
But that's not what ships were built for.
It's doubtful Danny's inquiries would have gone further if he didn't have new sources at the Pentagon.
- So what? Really? You know what the decision directives say? That diplomats and leaders aren't immune from being targets when they're connected to terrorist activities that threaten the U.
S or its citizens.
I don't think it's an unusual directive.
That it was given hours before Shareef's plane disappeared.
Just a reminder the more I know, the more I can help.
Don't be concerned with my exposure.
I'm not your daughter, I'm the White House press secretary.
The president would like you both.
- Good evening.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Everything all right? - Yes, sir.
They're saying I'm rewriting the Constitution on the back of a napkin.
They're saying that a guy who couldn't run a local sheriff's department wants to send troops around the world.
They're saying it's liberalism with a grenade launcher.
But they're not saying it was badly written, so that's something.
And they sure as hell know I was serious.
So that's something else.
Congratulations, folks, we've got ourselves a doctrine.
Will, I think some of these people don't know who your dad is.
Will's the son of Tom Bailey, the only guy with a better title than mine he was Supreme Commander, NATO Allied Forces Europe.
We didn't know we were gonna do this, I would've asked you to invite him.
Well, you got quite a response from him watching on TV, sir.
I think he's gonna re-enlist.
Actually, I meant I wish he could be here now when I tell you Toby's asked me to commission you as his deputy.
- I'm sorry, sir? - Toby wants to make you deputy.
- Pardon me? - I'm appointing you deputy communications director.
It covers a wide range of areas of policy and execution and counsel to me.
To you, the president? - Yes.
- I'm sorry, I'm not following - Good God, boy! - Hey, I remember when you named me deputy, there was a dull buzzing in my ear.
- A humming.
It was very disorienting.
- Same thing happened to me.
Hang in there, you're doing fine.
That was a nice story about the buzzing.
What did I say about not addressing me as Wild Thing? Excuse me.
Hi.
Sam's gonna be promoted to senior counselor if he loses the 47th.
- I don't know what to say.
- That's what you want from your communications deputy? - I accept.
There's a promise I ask everyone who works here to make.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful and committed citizens can change the world.
Do you know why? It's the only thing that ever has? William Bailey reposing special trust and confidence in your integrity, prudence and ability I designate you to the post of deputy White House director of communications and special assistant to the president.
And I do authorize you to execute and fulfill the duties of that office with all the powers and privileges and subject to the conditions prescribed.
It is affirmed by my signature and affixed with the seal of the United States.
And it is done so on this day and in this place.
Congratulations.
You know, it's easy to watch the news and think of Kundunese as either hapless victims or crazed butchers.
And it turns out that's not true.
I got this intelligence summary this afternoon.
"Mothers are standing in front of tanks.
" And we're gonna go get their backs.
An hour ago I ordered Fitzwallace to have UCOMM deploy a brigade of the 82nd Airborne, the 101 st Air Assault and a Marine expeditionary unit to Kundu to stop the violence.
The 101 st are the Screaming Eagles.
The Marines are the 22nd MEU, trained at Camp Lejeune.
Some of them very recently.
I'm sorry, everyone, but this is a work night.
That's you too.
I know.
- Yes.
- Which means we'll need our own.
- Yes.
Is the president gonna send troops to knock this off? The White House is monitoring the situation.
- I can tell.
- Katie.
State Department estimates yesterday put the dead at anywhere between 3000 and 7000.
- Are there revised estimates today? - Fifteen thousand.
This guy you hired for the inauguration speech gave me some backchat a few minutes ago.
- Bailey? - What are you doing? - Familiarizing myself with his tone.
- Not thinking about policy language? - I'm doing both.
- We have five days.
I'm just as big a cotton candy-ass as they are.
- Yes, sir.
- You're just gonna let that hang? Of course not.
You're a much bigger cotton candy-ass.
Damn right.
comprised of representatives of neighboring states including Ghana, Nigeria and Zaire - You don't worry about the window? - During moments of peak frustration.
When the speaker threatened to repeal the 16th Amendment.
Yankee games.
And there was the time Congress censured my boss.
But it's always held up, that window's a game-day player.
What do you need? Leo was just in here.
What did you say to the president last night? The president came to my office, just dropped in.
- I know.
What did you say? - His speech was on top.
- He read it.
- What did you say? He said,"Why is a Kundunese life worth less to me than an American life?" I said,"I don't know, sir, but it is.
" - Didn't we talk about this? - Yes.
- But you gave it a shot.
- I wasn't giving it a shot.
- It was a casual talk.
- With the president? He came here.
He was in the doorway.
The Dow plummets because of casual talks with him.
That's not the point.
- What's the point? - You can't get in his head close to something important.
You gotta keep the train on the tracks.
- I apologize, but there's a - No"but" at the end of that.
Not on this one.
This one haunts him.
It haunts everyone.
Well, I've finished the language.
- How is it? - Bloodless, compromising and half a loaf.
That's foreign policy.
"America stands today as the one truly indispensable nation.
The strongest force and the proudest voice for peace, pluralism and prosperity the world has ever known.
" Okay, keep the ancient Romans out of the first 10 rows and we're fine.
"Today, at the dawn of a new century, America needs a new commitment to protect our security, model freedom to the world.
" - To model it? - If we're not gonna help create freedom from tyranny, let's sell Barcaloungers.
We don't help create freedom from tyranny? I forgot to add"where our own interests aren't necessarily involved.
" "To do what we can to fulfill humanity's promise and to prove that self-determination is the watchword of all mankind.
" The watchword of all mankind? - I don't know what that means.
- Neither will anyone else.
The speech is better than good.
There's one vague paragraph.
We'll live with it.
More than you can say for the Kundunese.
- I'll be in my office.
- I heard once I don't know if it's true.
You convinced the president to let you rewrite the State of the Union with less than 24 hours to go.
It was the second year.
Everybody was a Republican, whether they were or not.
And people at the DNC convinced him to include the line "The era of big government is over," and you couldn't live with it.
Because government should be a place where people unite.
And no one gets left behind.
An instrument of good.
And that's exactly what we heard in the State of the Union the next night.
There were four people there when I had that conversation.
Well, if I'd have been one of them, I'd have repeated it to everyone I met.
Anyway, I'm gonna move on to some language in trade and commerce.
Okay.
I'm sorry, was Nigeria in that meeting? - Ghana, Nigeria, and what did I say? - Zaire.
Ghana, Nigeria, and Zaire.
The Arkutu met with those countries and we're told the talks were amicable but that no progress was made.
Steve? C.
J.
, there's a 1948 U.
N.
Convention on genocide, and the U.
S.
is a signatory.
It says if it's determined that genocide is taking place the U.
S.
is compelled to intervene.
Problem is, the convention distinguishes between acts of genocide and genocide.
It distinguishes between acts of genocide and genocide? - It does.
Mark? - How many acts constitute a genocide? - I don't know.
Danny? - What's the weather Sunday? Two below with the wind chill.
That's a full lid.
- C.
J.
, thank you.
- Good night, C.
J.
Two below.
Beach weather for the president.
- What's the distinction? - No idea.
I don't know what the distinction is.
I got a memo from State Close your notebook.
A memo not to call it genocide.
- I wanna talk to you.
- No, we're not gonna talk about Shareef.
- This isn't about Shareef.
- Then what? - It's a little about Shareef.
- Good day.
- C.
J.
- I said, good day, sir.
- Get in there.
- Nobody takes me seriously when I say"good day.
" - Get in there.
- Did you find the pilot? - Shareef's? - I can't remember his name.
- Jamil Bari.
Yes, I did.
He went to Augsburg Aviation in Bavaria.
He's survived by his wife and two children.
You don't wanna say you were wrong and apologize for your attitude lately? I do.
First I wanna tell you this.
- Rifts at the Pentagon.
- Jets and the Sharks.
I talked to an officer who works in U.
S.
foreign intelligence activities there who believes Miles Hutchinson is the commander in chief and in the discussion he told me the president had rescinded Executive Orders - The president hasn't rescinded orders.
- Not publicly.
This was a clumsy attempt to send a turf message to the president.
He's not a rogue, so I thought I'd give you the heads up.
The president appreciates it.
It's nothing new.
I don't know who the Jets are and who the Sharks are but it's Fitzwallace and Hutchinson.
That's pretty much what I'm writing.
Who can a researcher talk to about Pentagon employees detailed to the White House? - Josh's office.
Get it from Donna.
Hey, what are Executive Orders 11? - 11905 and 12333? - Yeah.
Making it illegal to assassinate a foreign leader.
I told you it was a little about Shareef.
All right, last looks.
C.
J.
says there are three references to mankind.
Can we make it humankind? Yeah.
Foreign Relations would like"war" changed to"war and strife.
" Yeah.
Where we say"tens of billions wasted," the OMB would like "billions and billions wasted.
" - No.
Then that's all for me.
- Got those? - Yeah.
All right.
Let's leave the building, what do you say? - Anyone playing at lota tonight? - I don't know.
Let's just go.
Ask C.
J.
Iota's a club in Arlington.
They usually have good people, wanna come out? I appreciate that.
I should put in the changes.
Ginger or Bonnie will.
But there are notes and I should be sharp tomorrow.
Okay.
He's frustrated with the foreign policy.
He wanted to change it.
- The language? - No, U.
S.
foreign policy.
Hang on.
Will? - Yeah.
- Listen The president takes seriously the question of risking American blood.
- Sure.
- Can't just send people someplace.
- I understand.
Was that it? - No.
"Do what we can to fulfill humanity's promise"? - You're kidding me now.
- No.
Leadership wants to cut it.
Okay.
Where does his Catholicism distinguish between American blood and other kinds? It doesn't, the voters do.
The voters that you champion and that I can't stand.
Yeah.
I'm gonna put these changes in.
- What's his level of frustration? - It's high.
He's here on a temp job.
He's that invested? That's never happened before, has it? No.
No, it hasn't.
Sorry.
Charlie, I'm gonna change my mind again on the Bible.
You have to imagine my utter surprise.
Aren't you afraid one day I'm gonna kick your ass like it's never been kicked? - What Bible would you prefer? - The Washington Bible.
As I said, that might be problematic to get by Sunday.
- Put it on a plane.
- Freemasons won't let it travel by plane.
What do they have to do with it? New York Freemasons have the Bible Washington was sworn in on.
It can't travel on a plane because altitude does something.
- Take a train.
- They have a rule that when it travels three Freemasons go with it.
- Buy three tickets.
It's four, because you need one for the Bible.
- The larger problem is - You trying to tell me that Freemasons don't like me? - Not a huge demo for you, no.
But they're good people, and a president is being inaugurated so let's see what we can do.
- Thank you.
- Good night, Mr.
President.
Hey.
I saw C.
J.
smiling before.
Has something good happened? - Yeah.
- What? - You didn't rescind executive orders.
- I didn't? It was an NSC Presidential Decision Directive, it's different.
- It's not different.
- It is.
That's how I was able to look C.
J.
in the eye and say you didn't rescind 11905 and that's how she was able to look Danny in the eye and do the same.
- Well, then, it was a dodged bullet.
- No, sir.
We didn't dodge nothing, they hit what they aimed at.
- Leo, come on.
- It was a shot across the bow, it was.
- This guy giving it to Danny.
- You're being paranoid.
And you're being unbelievably naive, sir.
You think in your wildest dreams that Hutchinson's running an offense? He's that pissed I asked for a Force Depletion Report he'll show me in Danny's byline, I go to Kundu and he says,"Here's what happened in Bermuda"? Him? I do.
In my wildest dreams, I do.
Abbey's already gone to bed.
I should get up there.
Hey, the chief justice wrote another opinion in verse.
- You wanna hear it? - No.
"I say this denial is not fit for trial.
" - Good night.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
Abbey.
Abigail.
Abbey, the kids are eating sugar.
How you doing? You know I gave the kids candy all the time, right? - Behind my back? - Yes.
- You bought their love? - It was for sale and I wanted it.
- Come to bed.
- I'm gonna stay up and read and watch some news.
- Okay.
Tony's grandkids were in there watching a video.
They may still be in there.
I think it's a Laurel and Hardy movie.
- His grandkids were in here? - For a while.
We had to move them because - What do you care right now? - I don't.
- Come to bed soon.
- For the record? - Yeah? - Frederick the Great told his generals: "To defend everything is to defend nothing.
" And? I don't know what that means, do you? No.
But I'm mostly asleep right now, and also I don't know what you're talking about.
- Well, that makes two of us.
Who made you crazy? Not that someone has to make you that way.
- I'll be in soon.
- You gave the girls candy? - I was their dealer, live with it.
- Come to bed.
Tanq and tonic.
Two.
Cynthia, I left a message for Donna.
She might call.
Sure.
Guy across the street is beating up a pregnant woman you don't go over and try and stop it? Guy across the street's beating anybody, I like to think I'd stop it but we're not talking about the president going to Asia or Rwanda or Qumar.
We're talking about sending other people's kids to do that.
That's always what we're talking about.
In addition to being kids, they're soldiers.
If we're about freedom from tyranny, we're about freedom from tyranny.
- And if we're not, we should shut up.
- Yes.
- You were telling Will - He said it because that's what we say.
- You weren't there.
- It's what we always say.
Sunday he's taking an oath to ensure domestic tranquility.
And to establish justice and promote the general welfare.
Stand by during atrocities, you're an accomplice.
I'm not indifferent, but self-destruction is never gonna burn itself out? You wanna send your kids into the fire? - Want to? No.
Should I? Yes.
- Why? And don't give a lefty answer.
- A lefty answer's all I've got.
- Why are you sending your kids? Because those are somebody's kids too.
Budget items in jeopardy are the M- 16's, M- 116, or Ucon, and other service items.
Founder of Ronco.
Here he is.
Hi, Ron! -Good to see you again.
-Good to see you.
How are? Snow showers will also linger across upper New England as the jet stream drives the storm into the northern Atlantic.
High press Get some more darts.
-You know what? -What? The wooden soldiers.
-You know what? -What? The wooden soldiers.
-Yes, Mr.
President.
- Leo McGarry, please.
Right away, sir.
I'm not talking about fighting two wars at once I'm not talking about wars.
Intervening when there's violence against people who are defenseless.
If we go here, they go there.
And look, more injustice there.
We elect these people.
If we'd been the world's policemen in the '30s, you and I We would've had a lot more relatives.
- Where the hell is Donna? - Leave her alone.
She's having a last night with What's his name? I called her and I've paged her.
- Leave her alone.
- I've gotta go back to the office.
- What happened? - Danny screwed me.
And somebody on one of our staffs screwed the rest of us.
I'll get the call.
- It's Toby.
- Gotta come, it's the speech.
- We're on our way.
- He wants Bailey too.
- You wanna call or want me to? - He's never been called at night by the president.
Think he should experience that before he leaves? Definitely.
Just a second, please.
It's the night manager.
There's a phone call for you.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- This is the White House operator.
- Yes, ma'am.
-I have a call from Charlie Young.
- I don't believe this! - It's not what happened.
- A, it was garbage - This is not - It was out of left field, and the source - It wasn't mine.
- What do you mean? - It got dropped in.
- Who dropped it in? - My researcher.
- Dropped it without your knowledge? - Yes.
- You're okay? - How do I sound? - Name of the researcher? - You're not.
No.
Researcher's looking out for his future.
He's 23.
Time's wasting.
- What's his name? - C.
J What's his name? That stays between me and my boss.
The researcher talked to three people on background.
Just nuts and bolts.
Asking how many nuts and bolts doesn't get this quote.
As a matter of form, he tells them what I'm writing about.
C.
J.
, I don't know who he talked to.
- I sent you to Donna.
When you asked - I'm saying it wasn't necessarily Donna.
- In a million years, do you think Donna? - No.
Yesterday, her boyfriend, Jack Reese, a Navy lieutenant commander was reassigned from a White House position and she was very angry about it.
People talk to a researcher.
They think they're not on record.
They're not on the record! No.
- C.
J.
? - Yeah? It's Donna on the phone.
Yeah? Well, this is gonna, I think, get interesting now.
- Yes.
- It's gonna get interesting.
It will capture our interest.
It will be written about.
In English, I would think, as well as Arabic? You can say that two times.
I suppose you can't blame Will completely.
- This is entirely your fault.
- He came in the office! You like Europe, he likes Europe.
Talk about Europe.
- It wasn't the subject.
- Make it one.
He says,"Here's this El Salvador speech.
" And you say - I like Europe? - Yes! - Something's happened.
- What? An aide is quoted in tomorrow's Post.
- You can go in.
- All right.
We're for freedom of speech everywhere.
We're for freedom to worship everywhere.
We're for freedom to learn for everybody.
And because you can build a bomb in your country and bring it to my country, what goes on in your country is my business.
And so we are for freedom from tyranny everywhere.
Whether in the guise of political oppression, Toby or economic slavery, Josh, or religious fanaticism, C.
J.
That most fundamental idea cannot be met with merely our support it has to be met with our strength.
Diplomatically, economically, materially and if Pharaoh still don't free the slaves he gets the plagues or my cavalry, whichever gets there first.
The USTR will go crazy and say that we're not considering global trade.
Committee members will go crazy and say I haven't consulted enough.
And the Arab world will just go indiscriminately crazy.
No country has ever had a doctrine of intervention when only humanitarian interests were at stake.
That streak's gonna end Sunday at noon.
So if you're on board with this, what I need you to do the language, this time with counsel.
- It's me.
We're gonna need new talking points for the full Cabinet, no embargoed excerpts We have to move from a lone rogue to a posse - Do I just keep standing here? - No.
Excuse me.
It is so ordered.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
All right, everything else off the table.
What were you gonna say before? I'm gonna be on the phone.
Danny's got a piece on fault lines between the White House and Pentagon.
- He writes that twice a year.
- A researcher spoke to three people one of whom was Donna, because your office keeps breakdowns of how Pentagon staff are detailed to the White House.
The researcher was given a quote which he gave to Danny's editor, who put it in.
What was the quote? "Everyone is very loyal to everyone else around here unless you wear a uniform.
" It sounds like Donna because of Jack, but there's no way she gives that quote.
- She didn't think it was on record.
- No way.
She just called me and told me.
Which I give her credit for.
You do? - Heat of the moment.
Bad timing.
- You think? I don't have time for this now.
Neither do you.
Set free the oppressed, break every yoke, clothe the naked and your light shall break forth like the dawn and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
- Ten minutes ago you promised me you'd go easy on Moses references.
- That was Isaiah.
Still.
They frighten people.
- Who? - Me.
Then here's to swimming with bowlegged women.
That tastes like nothing at all.
It has no taste or properties of any kind.
You can expect to see pieces quoting Pentagon sources on how many lives we'd lose in Kundu.
And a search and rescue group diving for a lost helicopter prop is gonna find a piece of a Gulfstream.
I think you're wrong.
But if you're right, then okay.
We should all have a little skin in this.
Well, then, that much we've accomplished.
So we're doing well so far.
- Sunday noon? - Sunday noon.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Because of Laurel and Hardy? Not because, no.
Not because of Laurel and Hardy.
That was simply the confluence of the final, you know And also, by the way, from the mouths of babes, like yourself.
Seriously, from the mouths of babes and clowns, come Listen, there's no reason why anyone needs to know about Laurel and Hardy.
Sounds like that's gonna depend a lot on my general mood.
Too cold for a parade.
Bunch of tanned-ass Southerners.
That decision was made by your chairman, who's from Massachusetts.
Which is to the south of New Hampshire.
Don't tell me geographic stereotypes.
You would have been happy walking up Pennsylvania Avenue in this cold? Walked to school each morning in weather colder than this.
From the headmaster's house to your classroom.
That's right, baby.
Just a camel hair coat, leather gloves a varsity scarf and these wits.
- It's here? - No, sir.
It was in New York.
It could've gotten here on a fast horse.
- They took the Metroliner.
- And? - The train's stuck.
- Because? - Frozen tracks.
- They didn't come last night The committee wouldn't pay for four rooms.
Three for the Freemasons, one for the Bible.
The Bible doesn't get a room.
Three rooms.
- Three rooms and four train tickets.
- Yeah.
You know what? Washington didn't bring his own Bible.
He assumed one would be provided.
Which isn't unreasonable.
A guy wants you to swear on a Bible he ought to be packing one.
Washington had someone get one across the street.
What are the chances there's a Bible in the House library? Just common courtesy, I think.
"Place your hand on this Bible.
And, oh, can I use your Bible?" That's not right.
- Morning.
- Why are they talking to me about the balls? - Political Affairs thinks it's important.
Start with the Plains States, followed by the Rust Belt and the Pacific Northwest.
- Shows you're president of the country.
- Aren't we about to demonstrate that? He could start with New Hampshire.
- Eat them up, chief.
- Thank you, Claudia.
- You throw up? - Yeah.
- About time.
- It was my third time.
Still.
They're yuckling him about the order of the balls.
That's the U.
S.
Marine Corps band right there.
Commandant's own.
These guys practice four hours a day.
So you think the chief justice has lost his mind? I didn't say he's lost his mind.
I said I said he lost his mind.
Leo thinks he's lost his mind.
- Leo's lost his mind.
- Speaking in verse.
A literary curse.
Five minutes.
He doesn't have a Bible.
Charlie's looking for one.
- Should I be? - Charlie will get it.
I've got it.
So there it is.
Let's see what happens now.
Thank you.
I don't know what to say.
I think Excuse me one second.
Listen.
Will did a great job, and I like him personally too.
But he had a bad meeting with the Public Affairs guy and people at State are focusing displeasure on him.
I told him to have a bad meeting with Public Affairs.
I know.
And I wanna use him again, but I need friends at State so I want him under the radar.
He should work at home and deal with us by phone.
- Exactly what I was gonna say.
- Yeah? - Except the part about under the radar in his house on the phone.
Leo, I want the president to appoint him deputy.
- Are you sure? - I can talk to people at State.
I don't care about State.
I'm asking.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
- You don't mean on an interim basis.
- No.
- What about Sam? - A promotion.
It's well past time.
Make him senior counselor, take the knucklehead stuff off his desk the way he did for me.
Let him concentrate on the president.
I'll advise the president.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Congratulations, this is something.
I'm sorry about the story yesterday.
- Wasn't your fault.
- Where is she? Donna? She's sitting in her apartment in a ball gown.
- Waiting for a ball? - Doesn't think it appropriate to be here.
Couldn't talk her down.
- How hard you try? - I tried hard.
- She didn't think she was on record.
- Not sure my editor knew - Doesn't matter.
Yeah.
- I thought the balance of the piece was - I haven't read it.
- I'm sorry, I haven't.
- I got a copy here if you want.
You're walking around with a copy? I think parts of it are pretty good.
When you won a Fulbright Scholarship you taped the letter to your face.
Yeah, here it is.
"Said one aide, 'We've got a situation '" The point actually was to read other parts.
"'where the White House won't give the DoD an extra 10 billion so they have to go to the Hill.
' Said the same aide, 'Everybody's loyal around here, unless you wear a uniform.
' Said the same aide" I haven't read the first part of the quote.
Said the same aide? I'm gonna kill her.
Why don't you stick around.
We're just gonna be a minute.
- Quick review.
- Wait one minute.
Good cop/bad cop.
I'm good, the four of you are bad.
- Will, Danny, what are you? - Bad cop.
- Toby? - Hurry up.
- Charlie? - I love Zoey and I must have her.
The bad cop, that's right.
Here we go.
Great news about Zoey.
I bet she's nice.
Not really, but my love knows no bounds.
- Aren't you cold? - I took off my coat to show my love.
I'd take off my shirt, but it's inappropriate.
- Not at Chippendales.
- I'm standing here.
- The buzzer's not working.
- Did you try it? - No, I divined it.
- She's not answering.
- Buzzer's not working.
There's a note.
- Call her.
No.
I know women.
I know what they're like.
Donna! Before the night's over we might have a whole new story.
Yeah! Here you go.
- Yes! - What the hell are you doing? - Get down here! Now! - Keep your voice down.
Don't tell me where to keep my voice! Get down here! - Now I'm telling you.
Keep it down! - Me too! Sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you guys.
This is a special situation.
- It's okay.
I'm the good cop! - Hi, National Enquirer? - You come down here without a coat? - I need you to keep your voice down.
Go ahead, you're entitled.
Give it all to me again.
You don't know the White House rejected 10 billion for the DoD.
You have absolutely no way of knowing that.
Jack said it.
The researcher called Jack and Jack said it.
He was working a lot of nights and it really wore him out.
And this happened.
He didn't think he was on record.
- Donna - He didn't, Josh.
That was legitimate.
- He's letting you take credit? - This guy's got a career ahead of him.
Your career isn't important? What was the point of anyone claiming? You knew it was easy to figure out it was him.
Not as easy as you made it.
- I didn't think about the top quote - The things you didn't think about your job, what the president thinks of you.
- Does he know about this? - He's about to.
You look amazing.
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Donna.
- Sorry about all this.
- Don't worry about it.
It was stupid, but menschy.
- Hey, hey, hey! Good cop/bad cop.
- Sorry.
It was just stupid.
Hey, Will.
You and Toby wrote maybe the greatest speech I've ever heard.
Thank you very much.
- We're going to a ball.
- Balls are fun.
- We're going to eight of them.
- Eight times the fun.
I actually hit the window, the rest of them went to school on my throw.
Let's go! - How you doing, Charlie? - I'm gonna win Zoey from Jean Paul.
- Excellent.
- He may be good-looking and rich and well-schooled and French royalty and live basically in a castle, but - Oh, God.
- This is what I've been telling you.
Get in the car.
I'm sorry.
Seriously, I've never lied to you before, boss, and it won't happen again.
You're gonna have to sit on somebody's lap.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- We should expect increased voices of dissent after today.
In breadth and depth.
A ship in the harbor is safe.
But that's not what ships were built for.
It's doubtful Danny's inquiries would have gone further if he didn't have new sources at the Pentagon.
- So what? Really? You know what the decision directives say? That diplomats and leaders aren't immune from being targets when they're connected to terrorist activities that threaten the U.
S or its citizens.
I don't think it's an unusual directive.
That it was given hours before Shareef's plane disappeared.
Just a reminder the more I know, the more I can help.
Don't be concerned with my exposure.
I'm not your daughter, I'm the White House press secretary.
The president would like you both.
- Good evening.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Everything all right? - Yes, sir.
They're saying I'm rewriting the Constitution on the back of a napkin.
They're saying that a guy who couldn't run a local sheriff's department wants to send troops around the world.
They're saying it's liberalism with a grenade launcher.
But they're not saying it was badly written, so that's something.
And they sure as hell know I was serious.
So that's something else.
Congratulations, folks, we've got ourselves a doctrine.
Will, I think some of these people don't know who your dad is.
Will's the son of Tom Bailey, the only guy with a better title than mine he was Supreme Commander, NATO Allied Forces Europe.
We didn't know we were gonna do this, I would've asked you to invite him.
Well, you got quite a response from him watching on TV, sir.
I think he's gonna re-enlist.
Actually, I meant I wish he could be here now when I tell you Toby's asked me to commission you as his deputy.
- I'm sorry, sir? - Toby wants to make you deputy.
- Pardon me? - I'm appointing you deputy communications director.
It covers a wide range of areas of policy and execution and counsel to me.
To you, the president? - Yes.
- I'm sorry, I'm not following - Good God, boy! - Hey, I remember when you named me deputy, there was a dull buzzing in my ear.
- A humming.
It was very disorienting.
- Same thing happened to me.
Hang in there, you're doing fine.
That was a nice story about the buzzing.
What did I say about not addressing me as Wild Thing? Excuse me.
Hi.
Sam's gonna be promoted to senior counselor if he loses the 47th.
- I don't know what to say.
- That's what you want from your communications deputy? - I accept.
There's a promise I ask everyone who works here to make.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful and committed citizens can change the world.
Do you know why? It's the only thing that ever has? William Bailey reposing special trust and confidence in your integrity, prudence and ability I designate you to the post of deputy White House director of communications and special assistant to the president.
And I do authorize you to execute and fulfill the duties of that office with all the powers and privileges and subject to the conditions prescribed.
It is affirmed by my signature and affixed with the seal of the United States.
And it is done so on this day and in this place.
Congratulations.
You know, it's easy to watch the news and think of Kundunese as either hapless victims or crazed butchers.
And it turns out that's not true.
I got this intelligence summary this afternoon.
"Mothers are standing in front of tanks.
" And we're gonna go get their backs.
An hour ago I ordered Fitzwallace to have UCOMM deploy a brigade of the 82nd Airborne, the 101 st Air Assault and a Marine expeditionary unit to Kundu to stop the violence.
The 101 st are the Screaming Eagles.
The Marines are the 22nd MEU, trained at Camp Lejeune.
Some of them very recently.
I'm sorry, everyone, but this is a work night.
That's you too.
I know.