The Wonder Years s04e15 Episode Script
Buster
Every American family has its own unique blend of personalities.
My family was no exception.
Within our four suburban walls We ranged the full spectrum of types.
From the flamboyant To the demure From the repellant To the ideal.
Somehow, we managed to fit together in a kind of fragile alliance.
One for all, and all for one.
With one exception.
Buster! Buster - the family dog.
When he was littleHe wascute.
Everyone wanted to cuddle him.
He was the perfect puppy.
Then something happened.
Bustergrew up.
Suddenly he wasn't so cute.
- Kevin! / - Honey! - Scrote! And just as suddenly The family dog Had becomeMy dog.
OK, Buster.
Here we go Not that I volunteered for the assignment.
Go on, eat! Look! Look! It's justwhen it came to Buster The rest of the family preferred a lesshands on role.
- What's wrong with 'em? - Isn't he hungry? Maybe he has fleas.
Oh, not fleas Honey, they'll get in the carpet.
Kevin, haven't you been sprayin' him? Dad, he doesn't have fleas.
Well, thenTake him for a walk.
Why me? Why can't he do it? Because he's your dog.
Gramp gave him to you.
Hah! So, by a quirk of grandfatherly fate Buster's fate and mine had become tied together.
- Come on, buddy.
For better or worse.
Mostly worse.
You're a lucky guy, Kev.
What are you talkin' about? You're providing for man's best friend.
Now, that's nothing to scoff at.
Paul, have you ever smelled this stuff? - Well, no, but - - Yeah, well, lemme tell ya You're not missin' much.
Hey, at least you get to have a dog.
OK, then.
If you're so crazy about dogs, why don't you just get one.
My parents won't let me.
They say a dog'll ruin the furniture.
And then every time we go on vacation, we're gonna have to worry about what to do with it.
But do they care what I think? A boy should have a dog! What childhood is complete without one? Years later, Paul would wind up on a couch talking to a professional about it.
Paul, trust me.
It's not that great.
Really! I mean, taking care of dogs isn't as easy as it looks.
You gotta feed 'em, and bathe 'em, and walk 'em.
Believe me - it's no picnic.
Old Yeller saved his family from a bear.
Unfortunately, where I lived Bears weren't the problem.
He ate my shoes.
Are you sure? Ya, I'm sure.
Noare ya, are you sure it was Buster? Oh, come on.
I mean who else would be gross enough to eat Dad's loafers, huh? He also mistook my closet for a fire-hydrant.
I don't understand this.
He's never done this before I wonder what's wrong.
Whatever it wasIt wasn't exactly endearing the old dog to the old homefront.
Can't ya at least keep him quiet?I got less than a week to finish this damn report! Seemed like it was up to me to save Buster's reputation.
Maybe he's sick.
Sick? Well, his nose is a little warm.
Maybe you should take him to the vet, honey.
Poor guy Heh-heh.
Nothin' like a warm nose to bring out the best in a family - warmth, compassion.
I'll take him tomorrow.
Yeah, and trade him in for a cat.
Is he eating? No.
Not really.
And how long's he been barking? Aboutthree weeks.
OK, Buster - let me look at your eyes.
Sure - check the eyes, the earsgive him a few doggie pills, and we'd be outta there.
Are you the person responsible for the dog? Well, yeah.
I guess.
In that case, I have something to discuss with you, Kevin.
Why? Is there somethin' wrong with him? I could see it was somethinghorrible.
Like plaguerabies.
Are you planning on breeding Buster? Ohwell, I meanno! I guess not.
Whew! And I thought it was serious! Because, Kevin, I think we should have Buster fixed.
Uh-huh.
Frankly, I think it's the conscientious thing to do.
What we're really talking about here is Buster's well-being.
And it's a fairly simple procedure, really.
And so, Doctor Furlegger explained to me exactly what was involved.
Making every detail crystal-clear.
And, when it was over So how do you want to handle this? Seemed the decision was pretty much up to me.
Mom? Dad? Wayne? I took Buster to the vet.
And? Well Honey? Is there something wrong with him? Well, nothing that can't be fixed.
I mean There was no sense holding back.
This was a family issue.
A matter for the alliance.
Well SoI told them.
She said it was the conscientious thing to do.
I explained to them exactly what was involved Making every detail crystal-clear.
And, when it was over Seemed the decision was pretty much up to them.
That's what she said, huh? Uh-huh.
But at least the burden was off me.
This problem was too big for one small kid.
My family would handle it now, together - one for allall for one.
May I be excused? I should go finish the laundry.
UmThere's alightbulb in the bedroom, uh That needs to be replaced.
I, uhgottatake out the trash.
Yeah.
Like I said - one for allall for one.
Over the next few dayswe did our best to pretend the problem didn't exist.
Would anyone like some more bacon? Yeah.
Thanks, Mom.
Yeah, me too.
Coffee's good, Norma.
Trouble was, in order to ignore the problem You had to ignore Buster.
And in order to ignore Buster You had to be the village idiot.
My family was stymied.
Trouble is, the only way out Was the skilled hands of a surgeon.
OK, bullethead - you try.
Not like that! Your fingers! You want to cut something important off? I'm sorry.
I guess I just got distracted.
Distracted? Hah? What about? Wellsee it's my dog.
He's been acting up.
You knowbarkingeating shoes Barking? Hah? OhI know that problem! Know it well.
Hold on here.
Was this a man who could help? A man with a little field-experience? Maybe even a man with a solution? You have a dog? Oh - had.
"Smokey".
Ah, he was a real pal.
Saw me through some tough times, that little devil.
He had three legs, ya know He hated the first Mrs.
Nestor.
No - you can't buy loyalty like that, anymore.
Ah, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that little fella.
And for one second I coulda kissed the guy.
So how'd you keep him from barking? We had him fixed! It was time to talk turkey with the pooch.
Come on, Buster.
Gimme a break, huh? Give us all a break.
LookBuster, if you stop barking, then maybe you won't have to go to the vet.
And trust me - you don't want to go to the vet, OK? But somehow I had a sneaking suspicion, all the logic in the worldwasn't gonna change this dogs mind.
So, there was only one thing left to do Good dog.
Good boy.
Buster and I struck a bargain.
He wouldn't bark And I wouldn't sleep.
Whoever said dog is man's best-friend must have had a king-size bed.
Still, over the next few days, the problem seemed to be solved.
Not a yip, not a peep - nothin'.
Finally.
And losing a little sleep wasn't so bad.
.
If it kept the dogs at bay.
OhKevie? Whatcha doin'? I'm trying to take a nap.
Why? Oh, nothin'.
Just thought you might want to knowBuster Ate Dad's homework.
Glad he's not my dog.
It was pretty clear what was gonna happen when my father found out.
Dad's not gonna take him to the vet.
He's gonna take him to the pound.
I thought about putting Buster on the night-flight to Siberia.
But I knew sooner or later, Dad would find him.
So I took him to the park.
You're in a lot of trouble - you know that? Do you know what you've done? This is serious, OK?! It's not funny! But suddenlyI was fed up with a dumb mutt who absolutely refused to listen to reason.
Fine! Bark your brains out - see what I care.
I wash my hands of the whole thing.
I mean, Buster - can't you just try once-in-awhile to fit in? I mean, are you part of this family or not?! And then, I guess I got my answer.
Buster, come back! This is your last chance! I'm warning you! Kevin?! Where have you been?! I was at the park.
Buster got looseI had to chase 'em.
Saw what he did? I'll be up all night, trying topatch this thing together.
I'm sorry But somehow, Dad's report didn't seem all that important anymore.
Heywhere's the pooch? He ran away.
I think he wanted to.
I let him down.
I think we all let him down.
I'll get my coat.
Buster! Buster! Buster! That night, I think we all realized something.
About Buster.
About ourselves.
- Buster! - Buster! About being a family.
Sometimes it's not enough just to enjoy the good times The cute times.
Buster! Sometimes it's when your puppies grow up that the work begins.
- Buster! - Buster! The hard decisions.
OK.
We'll look again tomorrow when it's light.
But we all knew it was hopeless.
We'd let him go.
And there was no way we'd ever find him.
Until, of course Buster found us.
Buster! Buster! - Oh, good boy! You're a good boy! - Busterhello, sweetheart! - You're so cold - aren't you cold? We missed you! - We missed you so much.
.
Aw, look at him, how dirty he is The next morning, we all took Buster to the vet.
And in a way, I guess you could say Buster's losswas also his gain.
He'd been this little stranger, who turned out to be part of our family.
A venerable member of the alliance.
One for all, and all for one.
Buster Buster - look! Look! And over the years, through good times and bad Through seasons of hope and change, he stood by us all.
A silent partner.
The first one to greet me at the doorWhen I came home from my senior prom.
The one who stared out our front window, on the day I left for college.
And my mom said he stayed there for hours.
°¨»çÃôôÃ.
æÃà : iamy1004 (iamy1004@hanmail.
net)
My family was no exception.
Within our four suburban walls We ranged the full spectrum of types.
From the flamboyant To the demure From the repellant To the ideal.
Somehow, we managed to fit together in a kind of fragile alliance.
One for all, and all for one.
With one exception.
Buster! Buster - the family dog.
When he was littleHe wascute.
Everyone wanted to cuddle him.
He was the perfect puppy.
Then something happened.
Bustergrew up.
Suddenly he wasn't so cute.
- Kevin! / - Honey! - Scrote! And just as suddenly The family dog Had becomeMy dog.
OK, Buster.
Here we go Not that I volunteered for the assignment.
Go on, eat! Look! Look! It's justwhen it came to Buster The rest of the family preferred a lesshands on role.
- What's wrong with 'em? - Isn't he hungry? Maybe he has fleas.
Oh, not fleas Honey, they'll get in the carpet.
Kevin, haven't you been sprayin' him? Dad, he doesn't have fleas.
Well, thenTake him for a walk.
Why me? Why can't he do it? Because he's your dog.
Gramp gave him to you.
Hah! So, by a quirk of grandfatherly fate Buster's fate and mine had become tied together.
- Come on, buddy.
For better or worse.
Mostly worse.
You're a lucky guy, Kev.
What are you talkin' about? You're providing for man's best friend.
Now, that's nothing to scoff at.
Paul, have you ever smelled this stuff? - Well, no, but - - Yeah, well, lemme tell ya You're not missin' much.
Hey, at least you get to have a dog.
OK, then.
If you're so crazy about dogs, why don't you just get one.
My parents won't let me.
They say a dog'll ruin the furniture.
And then every time we go on vacation, we're gonna have to worry about what to do with it.
But do they care what I think? A boy should have a dog! What childhood is complete without one? Years later, Paul would wind up on a couch talking to a professional about it.
Paul, trust me.
It's not that great.
Really! I mean, taking care of dogs isn't as easy as it looks.
You gotta feed 'em, and bathe 'em, and walk 'em.
Believe me - it's no picnic.
Old Yeller saved his family from a bear.
Unfortunately, where I lived Bears weren't the problem.
He ate my shoes.
Are you sure? Ya, I'm sure.
Noare ya, are you sure it was Buster? Oh, come on.
I mean who else would be gross enough to eat Dad's loafers, huh? He also mistook my closet for a fire-hydrant.
I don't understand this.
He's never done this before I wonder what's wrong.
Whatever it wasIt wasn't exactly endearing the old dog to the old homefront.
Can't ya at least keep him quiet?I got less than a week to finish this damn report! Seemed like it was up to me to save Buster's reputation.
Maybe he's sick.
Sick? Well, his nose is a little warm.
Maybe you should take him to the vet, honey.
Poor guy Heh-heh.
Nothin' like a warm nose to bring out the best in a family - warmth, compassion.
I'll take him tomorrow.
Yeah, and trade him in for a cat.
Is he eating? No.
Not really.
And how long's he been barking? Aboutthree weeks.
OK, Buster - let me look at your eyes.
Sure - check the eyes, the earsgive him a few doggie pills, and we'd be outta there.
Are you the person responsible for the dog? Well, yeah.
I guess.
In that case, I have something to discuss with you, Kevin.
Why? Is there somethin' wrong with him? I could see it was somethinghorrible.
Like plaguerabies.
Are you planning on breeding Buster? Ohwell, I meanno! I guess not.
Whew! And I thought it was serious! Because, Kevin, I think we should have Buster fixed.
Uh-huh.
Frankly, I think it's the conscientious thing to do.
What we're really talking about here is Buster's well-being.
And it's a fairly simple procedure, really.
And so, Doctor Furlegger explained to me exactly what was involved.
Making every detail crystal-clear.
And, when it was over So how do you want to handle this? Seemed the decision was pretty much up to me.
Mom? Dad? Wayne? I took Buster to the vet.
And? Well Honey? Is there something wrong with him? Well, nothing that can't be fixed.
I mean There was no sense holding back.
This was a family issue.
A matter for the alliance.
Well SoI told them.
She said it was the conscientious thing to do.
I explained to them exactly what was involved Making every detail crystal-clear.
And, when it was over Seemed the decision was pretty much up to them.
That's what she said, huh? Uh-huh.
But at least the burden was off me.
This problem was too big for one small kid.
My family would handle it now, together - one for allall for one.
May I be excused? I should go finish the laundry.
UmThere's alightbulb in the bedroom, uh That needs to be replaced.
I, uhgottatake out the trash.
Yeah.
Like I said - one for allall for one.
Over the next few dayswe did our best to pretend the problem didn't exist.
Would anyone like some more bacon? Yeah.
Thanks, Mom.
Yeah, me too.
Coffee's good, Norma.
Trouble was, in order to ignore the problem You had to ignore Buster.
And in order to ignore Buster You had to be the village idiot.
My family was stymied.
Trouble is, the only way out Was the skilled hands of a surgeon.
OK, bullethead - you try.
Not like that! Your fingers! You want to cut something important off? I'm sorry.
I guess I just got distracted.
Distracted? Hah? What about? Wellsee it's my dog.
He's been acting up.
You knowbarkingeating shoes Barking? Hah? OhI know that problem! Know it well.
Hold on here.
Was this a man who could help? A man with a little field-experience? Maybe even a man with a solution? You have a dog? Oh - had.
"Smokey".
Ah, he was a real pal.
Saw me through some tough times, that little devil.
He had three legs, ya know He hated the first Mrs.
Nestor.
No - you can't buy loyalty like that, anymore.
Ah, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that little fella.
And for one second I coulda kissed the guy.
So how'd you keep him from barking? We had him fixed! It was time to talk turkey with the pooch.
Come on, Buster.
Gimme a break, huh? Give us all a break.
LookBuster, if you stop barking, then maybe you won't have to go to the vet.
And trust me - you don't want to go to the vet, OK? But somehow I had a sneaking suspicion, all the logic in the worldwasn't gonna change this dogs mind.
So, there was only one thing left to do Good dog.
Good boy.
Buster and I struck a bargain.
He wouldn't bark And I wouldn't sleep.
Whoever said dog is man's best-friend must have had a king-size bed.
Still, over the next few days, the problem seemed to be solved.
Not a yip, not a peep - nothin'.
Finally.
And losing a little sleep wasn't so bad.
.
If it kept the dogs at bay.
OhKevie? Whatcha doin'? I'm trying to take a nap.
Why? Oh, nothin'.
Just thought you might want to knowBuster Ate Dad's homework.
Glad he's not my dog.
It was pretty clear what was gonna happen when my father found out.
Dad's not gonna take him to the vet.
He's gonna take him to the pound.
I thought about putting Buster on the night-flight to Siberia.
But I knew sooner or later, Dad would find him.
So I took him to the park.
You're in a lot of trouble - you know that? Do you know what you've done? This is serious, OK?! It's not funny! But suddenlyI was fed up with a dumb mutt who absolutely refused to listen to reason.
Fine! Bark your brains out - see what I care.
I wash my hands of the whole thing.
I mean, Buster - can't you just try once-in-awhile to fit in? I mean, are you part of this family or not?! And then, I guess I got my answer.
Buster, come back! This is your last chance! I'm warning you! Kevin?! Where have you been?! I was at the park.
Buster got looseI had to chase 'em.
Saw what he did? I'll be up all night, trying topatch this thing together.
I'm sorry But somehow, Dad's report didn't seem all that important anymore.
Heywhere's the pooch? He ran away.
I think he wanted to.
I let him down.
I think we all let him down.
I'll get my coat.
Buster! Buster! Buster! That night, I think we all realized something.
About Buster.
About ourselves.
- Buster! - Buster! About being a family.
Sometimes it's not enough just to enjoy the good times The cute times.
Buster! Sometimes it's when your puppies grow up that the work begins.
- Buster! - Buster! The hard decisions.
OK.
We'll look again tomorrow when it's light.
But we all knew it was hopeless.
We'd let him go.
And there was no way we'd ever find him.
Until, of course Buster found us.
Buster! Buster! - Oh, good boy! You're a good boy! - Busterhello, sweetheart! - You're so cold - aren't you cold? We missed you! - We missed you so much.
.
Aw, look at him, how dirty he is The next morning, we all took Buster to the vet.
And in a way, I guess you could say Buster's losswas also his gain.
He'd been this little stranger, who turned out to be part of our family.
A venerable member of the alliance.
One for all, and all for one.
Buster Buster - look! Look! And over the years, through good times and bad Through seasons of hope and change, he stood by us all.
A silent partner.
The first one to greet me at the doorWhen I came home from my senior prom.
The one who stared out our front window, on the day I left for college.
And my mom said he stayed there for hours.
°¨»çÃôôÃ.
æÃà : iamy1004 (iamy1004@hanmail.
net)