Jane the Virgin (2014) s04e16 Episode Script
Chapter Eighty
1 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hello! You'll recall Jane and Rafael finally said the four-letter word.
- I love you.
- And guess who Rafael didn't love? This guy.
I thought you focused on commercial real estate.
Sure.
My-my partners do.
So he decided to bet on himself and find a property to develop.
Unfortunately - Chase cut me out of the deal.
- What? NARRATOR: And speaking of being double-crossed, Petra's lawyer, J.
R.
, was working against her for a while, but then J.
R.
came clean and confessed everything.
The minute I realized you didn't kill your sister, I told them I wanted out.
NARRATOR: And then this happened.
So yeah, things are getting real between Petra and her lawyer-slash-lover.
But alas, it looks like Petra may need her lover to be her slash-lawyer again, after all.
I saw the whole thing.
Petra killed Anezka in cold blood.
NARRATOR: I know! Straight out of a telenovela, which reminds me, Rogelio's American adaptation of The Passions of Santos was moving forward, and the fabulous River Fields agreed to be his costar, - even after this happened.
- My eyebrows.
And Xiomara, well, she faced her breast cancer diagnosis with courage and grace.
And she was healing from her mastectomy.
So all in all, things are looking up.
So let's dive in.
When Jane Villanueva was 28 years old, she decided to move in with her boyfriend, Rafael Solano.
And, friends, it was romantic and exciting and Expensive.
Wow.
A one bedroom in this school district doesn't come cheap, so we're going to have to make some lifestyle changes.
I'm in.
I can live off of love.
Love and mm! This is what we'll need.
First and last month's rent plus security deposit.
- Okay.
Wow.
- Yeah.
All right.
Well, let's start saving.
Ramen for dinner? Sounds good to me.
And, friends, save they did.
And little by little, they were pushing that line.
Who needs CrossFit? Which brings us here, now.
I worked five extra shifts this week.
You worked four.
I subtracted money for our weekly bills plus Mateo's new karate session, and I factored in the prepaid rent on this apartment plus a pair of cufflinks I sold that brought in $500.
I know this is normally your thing, but I happen to excel at budget worksheets.
Really? Nothing? I just made a spreadsheet joke.
I thought you'd be all over that.
Sorry.
I'm just so in the zone.
Well, you are gonna have to hit pause for a second to take this in.
We saved enough for first and last month's rent on the one bedroom upstairs.
Oh, my God! Are you oh.
Yay! We saved enough.
We did, and we have an extra $173.
Nice! So, can you take a break for an open house in an hour so we can stake our claim? Oh.
Oh! Stake a claim! Yes! Yes, yes! That's actually the expression I've been looking for.
(CHUCKLES) Sorry.
It's like this faucet turned on in my brain, and now I can't turn it off.
I'm happy your writing is going so well.
(SCOFFS) Better than well.
I'm finally on a roll.
Okay.
This place was worth taking a break for.
Right? Feels massive compared to my studio.
Ah.
Couch over here.
Nice play area for Mateo.
And your desk can go right here, by the window.
I can already see it.
Mwah.
(CHUCKLES) Sound it out, buddy.
(CHUCKLES) Ready for school! JANE: Who wants some eggs? (LAUGHS) RAFAEL: So what do you think? I think we need a dining room table.
- So you want this place? - I so want this place.
And a dining room table.
I think we should take the $173 and go to the flea market.
- Hmm? - Hmm.
Now, come on.
Selfie for my mom.
Mm-hmm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
Somebody's feeling better.
How was your run? Three miles.
No pain at all.
I feel strong.
Ready for chemo.
I've got this.
You've so got this.
And you have the right mind-set, the power of positive thinking.
Exactly.
I can see myself crossing the finish line, which is why I've decided to do those cold caps.
Are you sure? The doctor said the caps can be painful.
I can handle it.
And I'll feel so much better if I finish chemo with my hair.
Get on with my life after, leave cancer behind me.
So, are you up for being my cold cap coach? Try saying that three times fast.
You have to do some training.
They're apparently tricky to put on.
Of course.
I'll be your cold cap commando, your follicle friend, your hair helper.
(CHUCKLES) Thanks.
Now go get ready for your meeting.
You can't be late.
So sorry I am late.
(ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING, BELLS CHIMING) Wow! Your eyebrows look even thicker and more magnificent.
How is that possible? RIVER: The very best international team of eyebrow transplant specialists.
Shall we dive right in? I called this meeting to talk about the script, since I have final approval.
Right now there is way too much crazy stuff happening.
It's hard to know what to pay attention to.
What? You have one very long eyebrow hair.
Oh.
(BLOWS) Ah, yes.
Right.
Side effect of a new brow cream.
My point is there's too much crazy stuff going on in this show.
So, in the next draft, we need to really ground it.
I love grounding.
I'm all for grounding.
Let's ground it into the ground.
But what does that mean? Like practically, in terms of the script.
I was thinking, what if the maid isn't actually his long-lost mother? What if she's simply the maid? Oh, that's nice.
I love that.
Oh, so grounded.
(LAUGHS) Great.
And in act five, when Steve hits his head exiting Air Force One after coming home from visiting the troops and gets amnesia, let's lose it.
The-the airplane ride or visiting the troops? The amnesia.
Oh, River, please.
That is a key plot twist, a classic telenovela trope.
I have to say, I agree with River.
I do, too.
What a surprise.
Okay.
No amnesia.
Perfect.
I've already forgotten it.
Now, let's talk wardrobe.
ELLIE: Are you wearing Mommy's blouse? I'd call that a camisole.
Oh, there you are.
Okay, girls, go put your shoes on.
Quick lawyer moment.
I got an e-mail from the D.
A.
this morning.
He wants to meet about the case on Thursday.
I think this means they are officially dropping the charges against you.
(SIGHS) Oh.
Finally.
Surprised it took them this long to realize my mother is the world's most unreliable witness.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) Dinner and drinks downtown to celebrate tonight? Mm.
It would have to be late.
I'm crazed with work and the nanny canceled.
Unless you could pick the girls up after karate.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC DISTORTS, FADES) Sorry.
I-I didn't mean to overstep.
I just think we should keep boundaries in the kid department.
For now.
Absolutely.
Understood.
- Forget I mentioned karate.
- MATEO: Hi-ya! Hey! What did we say about karate? Stays in the dojo.
That's right.
You keep your hands to yourself.
Who are you texting? No one.
Sorry.
I was just putting down some ideas for a new piece I'm writing.
Your next book? Ugh.
Let's not jinx it.
Everything okay? Yeah, sorry.
That was, uh, Chase.
As in the guy who cut you out of the real estate deal that you put together? Well, now he wants to cut me back in.
What? Out of the blue? Uh, Mateo, slow down! Yeah, well, he needs to buy a couple of the surrounding lots.
And there's a holdout, guy named Harold.
My dad's friend.
Known him for years.
Chase thinks maybe I can persuade him to sell, and if I can, he would let me back in because I'd have something ârealâ to offer.
Huh.
Let's make this a practice run.
Hmm? This is where we'd discuss important things, like whether or not you should go into business with a guy you can't trust.
Well, I guess I know how you feel.
No.
Come on.
Let's pro and con it.
Pro: this is a way into a big opportunity and with no capital.
I don't have a lot to offer otherwise.
Mm-hmm.
And con (GLASS SHATTERS) - Aah! - NARRATOR: Uh-oh.
That definitely sounded like a con.
MAN: You break it, you buy it.
Of course.
We are so sorry.
How much is it? - 4,000.
- Dollars?! How would you like to pay? Ay.
Looks like Mateo broke the clock and the bank.
You will sit there, Mateo, and not move.
And that money is coming out of your piggy bank.
You understand? NARRATOR: That better be a huge-ass piggy.
So much for the apartment.
Got any more expensive cufflinks? I'm totally out of cufflinks.
(CHUCKLES) Hmm, I could always call that guy.
He's the one that offered me a job selling time-shares.
Maybe I should just do it.
No way.
That is not your dream.
That is your anti-dream.
We'll figure it out, somehow.
Come on.
If Rafael sublets his apartment over spring break and over the summer, we can make back the money we lost and move into a new place before the school year.
(CHUCKLES) Ma, that's too much food.
You're starting chemo tomorrow.
You need your strength.
So, do you guys want to stay in our guest room? Thank you, but I think you need your peace and quiet.
But if Raf moves back here for a bit, we can afford the one bedroom by fall, and most importantly, our whole family can stay together.
Of course.
Glad to have you back.
Oh.
Sorry, River had a few more script notes.
Turns out she hates dramatic entrances.
No problem.
You're back.
Let's toast.
To Jane and Raf's future apartment.
No way, Ma.
Tonight, we are toasting you.
To the strongest, bravest person I know.
Cheers.
You nervous, my love? A little.
You? That cold cap training was intense.
What's a cold cap? (SHIVERING) Is it too tight? No.
It's just so cold.
It's like a slushie brain freeze minus the slushie.
NARRATOR: Sounds like a poop sandwich minus the bread.
Remember, Xiomara, think positive.
Right.
I've got this.
WOMAN: Don't overthink it.
Just like swaddling a baby.
(SIGHS) That's very helpful.
I happen to be an expert swaddler.
Thank you, Baby.
You're welcome baby.
Another pro tip: There's a freezer in the back.
Keep your caps there instead of lugging that cooler around.
Don't worry.
I'll make sure she doesn't run off with another man.
Thank you.
He'll get the hang of it.
My husband used to put it on so lopsided, I looked like the love child of LL Cool J and Davy Crockett.
(BOTH LAUGH) I'm Donna.
Xiomara.
Do you have any friends with the C-word, Xiomara? - Uh - Cancer.
Oh.
No.
Oh.
Well you do now.
JANE: Mom said that her first session was okay.
- She made a friend.
- Of course she did.
Hey, Abuela.
Rafael will sleep in Mateo's room.
(LAUGHS) Oh, oh.
You're serious? I'm sorry, did I miss your wedding? But you know that we have sex.
Well, but not under my roof.
You know, I actually love staying in Mateo's room.
It's only three weeks.
She's doing us a favor.
But what about the summer? No sex, no Going down? I've never been so happy to have my head at room temperature.
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
It's just that you're Rogelio de la Vega! It is I, yes.
Oh, my God! I'm a huge fan! - Of course you are.
One selfie? - Of course! I read in People en Español that you're adapting Santos for American television? Yes.
North Americans think they know soaps.
But no, wait until they see how it's really done.
I still remember when Santos discovered the maid was actually his long-lost mother.
Yes.
That's not in this version.
Okay.
As long as he has amnesia.
Actually that's not in this version either.
Oh.
(STUTTERS) Well, sorry.
I'm sure the new show will be great, too.
It won't.
Hmm? I've made too many compromises.
We are losing the essence of the show, I can't disappoint my fans! Look at her.
I'm okay! You're not fine! You need a real telenovela.
One that is true to its cultural roots.
So talk to River.
She is the one who requested the changes.
So try again.
Come on.
Remember the power of positive thinking? JANE: Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I really think this could be my next book.
NARRATOR: Now who's jinxing it? That's amazing.
And Chase offered to pay for a lawyer to draw up a contract.
Protecting me from him.
- Wow.
Okay.
Now we're talking.
- Right? Mmm.
Look at us.
My book, your hotel.
Our dreams are kind of within reach, huh? Okay so now we're just jinxing things left and right? You know what else is working out perfectly? Seriously, stop tempting fate.
My grandma's out.
(GIGGLING) (SCREAMS) (JANE SCREAMING) I told you.
Geez! The coast is clear.
Abuela took Mateo to church.
(SIGHS) Oh.
So What went down after your grandmother saw my junk? Oh, nothing too crazy.
I'm an adult! Adults have sex.
(DISGUSTED GRUNTS) No more sex in the house is the bottom line.
We'll have to sneak around like teenagers.
Not that I ever had sex when I was a teenager.
We still have all our spots at the Marbella.
- Eyes on the prize.
- Eyes on the prize.
How'd it go with Chase? H-He said all the right things.
And it's real, Jane.
I mean, if the city approves the plans, then I'll start getting paid, like, really paid, when we break ground, which is in three months.
Really paid as in? Maybe even a two bedroom.
Ooh! Look at us.
Moving on up before we've even moved out.
What's wrong? The guy is such a douche bag.
I mean, do I really want to go into business with him? Long-term? I don't know.
What do you mean? You always have an opinion.
It's a hard call, and I haven't even seen the property.
ROGELIO: Your opinion is so important.
Which is why I've been saying yes to all of the changes.
But things have gone too far.
While you know more about American television, I am an expert in telenovelas.
So I must take a stand for the form.
Is this about the lavender? Fine.
A purple tie for the inauguration scene.
Happy? It's not about the lavender.
Or not only about the lavender.
It's about everything.
The maid has to be his mother.
And I have to have amnesia.
And the Oval Office has to be a heart because we're co-presidents, and two ovals form a heart.
It's cheesy! It's romantic.
And romance is what novelas are about.
A pornography of emotions.
This can't just be an ordinary American soap opera.
I am starring in it, which means that it is the opposite of ordinary.
Then you leave me no choice.
I own the rights to The Passions of Santos, so if you can't respect my vision, I will take the rights elsewhere.
Well played, Rogelio.
I underestimated you.
Thank you.
Most people do.
I will call the studio, and I will tell them to restore the script to your original vision.
RAFAEL: Try to envision it.
And don't look at the graffiti, or the trash, or whatever that is.
(LAUGHS) So where should I look? Start here.
We'd go clean and modern.
250 rooms, all with a private balcony.
Saltwater pool.
Cabanas.
Outdoor bar.
A spa? With glass walls on one side looking out over the water.
(SIGHS) Can you see it? I can see it.
You know what else I see? How excited you are.
You have to do this.
Just protect yourself.
Make sure you have a good lawyer.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Speaking of The D.
A.
is not dropping the charges against you.
What? It's ridiculous, but apparently your mother's story checks out.
She told investigators that Anezka was watching Game of Thrones, and even told them where the episode was paused.
That could be a lucky guess.
Or my sister texted her, or my mother got her hands on that police report.
I would've seen her.
J.
R.
, she's lying.
Trust me, no one else was in the room where it happened.
The room where it happened? The room where it happened, right.
But your mother said she was in the bathroom.
Well, she's lying.
And we will prove that.
And then I will get this case dismissed with prejudice.
I'm good at my job.
I will catch her in a lie.
XIOMARA: You're gonna get us arrested.
(LAUGHS) Put those things away! Oh, please.
It's part of the sisterhood.
Come on.
Just feel 'em.
Whoa.
Just the right balance of perky and supple.
I'll take one of those! (BOTH LAUGHING) NARRATOR: Now that's what I call ordering off the menu.
- Why is it so hot? - Ah, it's the radiation.
We call it âthe hot toddyâ" (BOTH LAUGHING) Ah.
I never thought someone would make me laugh this much about cancer.
Well, you know, it helps that I'm high as a kite.
(LAUGHING QUIETLY) Really? Weed? Takes the edge off the cold caps, trust me.
And you got to do what you can to feel good.
Because it does get harder.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to stay positive.
I want to cross that finish line.
I know.
JANE: I so know.
The hotel's gonna be great.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of crossing a line Hey! Mateo! Don't you ever lay a hand on my son again! I can't believe you would ever hit Mateo.
He was reaching for the stove I don't care what he was doing! Okay, okay, you need to calm down and watch your tone.
And we talked about this.
Hold on, wait.
This has happened before? Once.
I told her not to do it.
Then you should have told me.
We are not a hitting family.
We also do not yell at my Abuela.
This is her house, so you need to show her some respect.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to raise my voice at you.
Just promise me that will never happen again.
It will if he reaches for the stove - Excuse me? - Abuela! Mateo needs to learn to follow rules.
You cannot spank my son.
Understand? My house, my rules.
Understand? Then I'm not staying here anymore.
JANE: And then Abuela said good riddance, and he left, and the whole thing is just such a mess, Mom.
Aw, hon.
They probably just need time to cool off.
I hope so.
Man, I'm gonna need to cool off if I keep walking with you.
Chemo hasn't slowed you down at all.
I know, right? I really do feel good.
Just give everyone time.
It will get better.
It's gotten so much worse.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'll say.
Abuela claims that she's forgiven Raf, but the way that she glares at him, ugh, I wouldn't want to come over to the house either.
So he doesn't.
Are you sure you're okay? I can get to the bench.
Keep talking.
Well, between his real estate project, our different shifts at work, and my writing schedule, we're like ships in the night.
He's only a month away from breaking ground on the hotel though, right? Yeah, which means we're a month away from a payday.
(CHUCKLES) (GROANS SOFTLY) Are you sure we shouldn't stop? I can get to the bench.
That's the finish line.
Ugh, poor Xo.
It's so hard to see her like this.
You and Raf need to carve out some alone time.
Oh, we have a hot date planned, at the Marbella storage closet.
Capped off with fried fish sticks, free from the kids' buffet.
Okay, we're at the bench.
Sit.
You know what, while Xo catches her breath, why don't I catch you up on Jane and Raf's finances? Okay, in the last nine weeks, Jane and Rafael have saved enough money to pay off the freaking clock.
So, in other words, they're back to square one.
I'm ready.
(GROANS SOFTLY) Talk to me about your writing.
It's going well.
I can't wait for you to read it.
Oh, me, too.
As soon as I don't have chemo brain.
The only thing worse than chemo brain? Chemo brain freeze.
I wish there was more that I could do for you.
Distract me.
Keep talking.
So, the sets are done? Yes.
Uh, I am meeting the production designer later today to see them.
How have you been feeling this week, Xiomara? Well, uh tired, nauseous.
Uh, but I-I know it'll pass.
You have a great attitude.
Donna's late today.
She's gonna love the fake eyelashes I bought her.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) What? Donna had an unexpected recurrence with complications.
She passed away three days ago.
What? I don't understand.
It happened suddenly.
Things progressed quickly.
I am so sorry.
She wanted me to give you her pot brownies.
Xiomara No.
I'll be okay.
(SNIFFLES) It's just the cold cap.
PETRA: I just feel so helpless.
The thought of you meeting my mother without me? Baby, come on.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh.
We're up to âbabyâ now.
You've already prepared me for what I can expect.
The hook, the eye.
The absolute hatred for me.
Look, she may be a good liar, but I'm a better lawyer.
I'll catch her.
NARRATOR: Which brings us here now.
And why were you in the bathroom for 22 minutes? IBS.
You know what that is? - I do.
- Explosive diarrhea.
- Okay, so you went to the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm.
- And then? - I was about to leave, but I heard all this yelling, so I pushed open the door.
Uh, sorry.
I missed that last point.
I pushed open the door, and I saw Petra standing by front door.
And then Anezka, she say something, but I could not hear what it was because the toilet was running.
But Petra, she turned, and she charged her sister, and she shoved Anezka over the balcony! Voomp! Then Petra's heel broke.
Wait.
Petra's heel broke? That wasn't in your original statement to the police.
I must have forgot.
Are we done here? I'm getting hungry.
(PHONE CHIMES) (PHONE CHIMES) WOMAN: You're gonna love what we've built here, Mr.
De La Vega.
And voila! But this is just a regular oval Oval Office.
River approved it.
It looks like a double-breasted poop emoji! River approved it.
Oh, my God, they cut the amnesia! I'm guessing River approved it? What the hell are you doing?! I need to apply this extremely rare cream to my eyebrows, or the transplant won't take.
- I don't believe you.
- Oh, it's true.
I had it shipped directly from Paris.
I'm not talking about your overrated bushes, you diabolical diva! I'm talking about all of the changes we agreed to the sets, the costumes, the script! The executives and I decided to go in a different direction.
You can't.
I own the rights.
To the telenovela, but these past two months, I have secured the underlying rights to the short story the telenovela was based on, which means that I can do this show any way I want.
(GASPS) Oh, please.
Don't be so dramatic.
If you knew anything about telenovelas, you'd know that everything is supposed to be dramatic! (DOOR SLAMS) That hateful hen set me up.
You know what we have to do? - Pack up your dressing room? - Get revenge.
Have you ever killed anyone, Rudy? Kidding.
But you haven't, though, right? (RINGTONE PLAYING) I need to take this.
Go.
Hi, Alba.
What? Alba called.
You weren't home, so she was worried.
We came here every week.
And now (SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I'm trying to be positive for you.
For me? I don't need that.
I just mean it makes you feel better, which makes me feel better, because I hate when you so worry so much.
But with Donna I didn't have to do anything or be anything.
She just got it.
That makes sense.
But no, you don't have to worry about me.
I need you here.
Positive, negative.
Whatever you're feeling.
But what if that's not possible? I'm sorry.
(VOICE BREAKING) I know that's an awful thing to say, but Donna was here, and now she's gone, and that could be me.
That's not going to happen.
But it could.
It could happen.
I think it's just hitting me that there is no finish line.
I thought once chemo was over, I'd put it in the rear-view mirror and leave it behind, but it doesn't work like that.
Donna was fine.
For five years, she was fine, and now she's not here anymore, and that just sucks.
It does.
So, I am gonna quit those stupid cold caps.
If I lose my hair, so what? They hurt too damn much, and every day is hard enough.
(SIGHS) Thank God.
It was torture just watching you.
(DISH CLINKS IN DISTANCE) I couldn't sleep.
Abuela, why can't you let it go? What? This whole thing with Rafael.
We're fine.
You're not.
You're still being cold, so he doesn't want to come over, which means I hardly get to see him.
I mean, we're falling asleep FaceTiming each other.
Jane, stop.
No.
Why are you still so mad? Because he disrespected me in my house.
Where I make the rules still! And at some point I won't be able to.
At some point I'll be too old, but I'm not now.
Too old? You're a long way away from that.
No.
I'm not.
It's the cycle of life.
I'm next.
Not your mother.
It has to be me.
Abuela.
I feel like I don't have control over anything anymore.
I know, Abuela.
Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
(SIGHS) Yeah, I think we'll be okay.
Caught your mother in a lie.
She said she pushed the bathroom door open.
The door pulls in.
It's enough to discredit someone like her, someone who's lied before.
Well, that's great news.
So what's wrong? She said something else.
Something I can't stop thinking about.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Did she give you details about her bowel movements? Look, it's a whole thing.
About what happened that night.
In the room.
She said Anezka said something, and then you charged at her and your heel broke.
What? That's ridiculous.
And I checked the crime scene photos.
There was an unexplained nick in the floor, right where she said.
Are you saying you believe her? I'm saying I'm confused.
She's a convicted murderer who's conspired to kill me on multiple occasions.
- I know, but - But what? (SCOFFS) She got in your head.
I knew it.
I knew she would.
- She didn't.
- She did.
What? So, what now? Do you want to examine the shoes I was wearing that day? Go ahead, take a look.
If I killed my sister and the heel broke, wouldn't I have thrown them away? - I'm sorry.
I just - Get out.
Petra Look, you don't have to be part of my kids' carpool routine, okay, but I do need my girlfriend to trust me! - That's not fair.
- You know what's not fair? That I'm in this situation in the first place, and you know that! Please, just go.
RAFAEL: Hello? Anyone home? Oh, in here.
- Oh, sorry.
- No, it's okay.
Come in.
Yes, yes.
Come in.
Please, sit.
I am very sorry that I have been unfair to you No.
I shouldn't have yelled at you.
I know that And I shouldn't have spanked Mateo.
And I won't do it again.
It's just that I've been having a hard time.
But I miss my friend.
Me, too.
Aw.
Can I get out of your bed now? This is a little weird.
(SIGHS) So, now things can go back to normal.
You can move in for the summer.
Yeah.
Jane? Mm-hmm? I don't think I want to move back in with your grandma.
And it's not because I don't love her.
You know that I do.
It's okay.
I get it.
I just miss you.
We never see each other.
But it's just another month, right? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And then That's the other thing that I need to tell you.
Oh, no.
Chase just called.
I guess the city permits are taking longer than expected.
How much longer? Could be as little as six months, or as much as a year.
Oh.
Wow.
(LAUGHS) Well, that's okay.
We'll just hang in there.
I don't even know if it's worth it.
Of course it's worth it.
Go back to the lot.
Remember your dream.
(CHUCKLES) Now go, because this is my designated writing time.
Okay, got it.
(LAUGHING) Leaving now.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so, friends, Rafael went to remember his dream.
I love you more than the sun More than all the drops of water in the oceans (DOORBELL RINGS) (TV TURNS OFF) I'm looking for Rogelio.
Is he here? River Fields.
It's you.
Hi, there.
Wow.
Hi.
You must be Xo.
Nice to meet you.
Now, where the hell is your delusional has-been of a husband? He-He's not home.
What's wrong? Y-You seem angry.
Beautiful and tall and so angry.
He leaked a blind item to the press about me being a diva! Oh, food.
I need food right this minute.
Oh.
- Wait, no! - Mm-mm.
Oh.
(MOUTH FULL): I'm okay.
I'm fine.
I stress eat.
Where is he? Where's Rogelio? I'm gonna track him down.
Yeah, you're not going anywhere.
You just ate a pot brownie, and trust me, they're really, really strong.
- What? - Give me your car keys.
Might as well make yourself comfy.
I'm actually watching a telenovela.
Amor de dos Caras.
Have you seen it? I've actually never seen a telenovela.
What? And you're adapting one? Girl, sit your ass down.
(SIGHS) Okay.
All you need to know is that Marisa and Vera are twin sisters.
Marisa murdered Juan Miguel and is posing as Vera, who is secretly dating Hector.
Oh, and Hector might go to jail.
I came clean to the D.
A.
What do you mean? I told them what I did.
How I was blackmailed into working against you, but then changed my mind.
What? And in light of these mitigating circumstances, the D.
A.
doesn't have a case against you.
And it was dismissed with prejudice.
(CORK POPS) (FANFARE PLAYS) What about you? I'll be disbarred.
You did that for me? It wasn't for you.
It was for me.
I've been marching towards this day for a long time.
When my past would catch up with me.
And I just kept pushing the line.
But I can't anymore.
I can't bring an innocent person you down with me.
I'm just overwhelmed.
I know.
I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
But it's over.
It's really over.
RIVER: She seems so conflicted.
Well, Paloma's always playing an angle.
Last week, she seduced Eduardo's therapist to get her to suggest he change his will.
OMG, no, shut up.
(SIGHS) I think I'm beginning to feel this brownie.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You think? Shh! Here comes the main couple.
Okay, what's going on? Where are you taking me? I went back to the lot like you said.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I realized something.
The most important piece of real estate in my future isn't some big hotel.
It's a one bedroom apartment with you.
That's my dream.
(EXHALES) Which is why (GASPS) You took that real estate job? It's a full-time position with a salary and good health insurance, which means I can support us both.
- But - I've already done the math.
Okay? You can go down to one or two shifts a week so you can really focus on your writing.
You are on a roll, Jane.
Let's bet on your dream now.
Mine will come.
Oh, that is hella romantic.
What'd I tell you? Oh, and Elena deserves that kind of happiness.
Right? Mm.
(EXHALES) Mm, here's the big, sweeping kiss.
Aw! (DOOR CLOSES) (GASPS) What are you doing here? Oh, Rogelio, I love telenovelas so much.
- What? - They're everything.
They surprise you and move you and make you feel alive.
So, let's do Steve and Brenda your way.
Really? Shh, it's not over yet.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) Huh.
How can they move past that epic kiss? Oh, the scary music means they're getting ready for the classic Friday night cliffhanger.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) It might be my new boss.
- Hello? - MAN: Do you accept a call from the Miami-Dade Federal Women's Correctional Facility? Yes.
I have some important information for you.
Look, I don't care what you know about my parents.
I already told you, I'm not giving you Luisa's location.
Rafael, trust me.
What I know is going to change your life.
Forever.
(ALL GASP) Now now we have to wait to find out what happens? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You do, River Fields.
That's why it's known as a classic Friday night cliffhanger.
- I love you.
- And guess who Rafael didn't love? This guy.
I thought you focused on commercial real estate.
Sure.
My-my partners do.
So he decided to bet on himself and find a property to develop.
Unfortunately - Chase cut me out of the deal.
- What? NARRATOR: And speaking of being double-crossed, Petra's lawyer, J.
R.
, was working against her for a while, but then J.
R.
came clean and confessed everything.
The minute I realized you didn't kill your sister, I told them I wanted out.
NARRATOR: And then this happened.
So yeah, things are getting real between Petra and her lawyer-slash-lover.
But alas, it looks like Petra may need her lover to be her slash-lawyer again, after all.
I saw the whole thing.
Petra killed Anezka in cold blood.
NARRATOR: I know! Straight out of a telenovela, which reminds me, Rogelio's American adaptation of The Passions of Santos was moving forward, and the fabulous River Fields agreed to be his costar, - even after this happened.
- My eyebrows.
And Xiomara, well, she faced her breast cancer diagnosis with courage and grace.
And she was healing from her mastectomy.
So all in all, things are looking up.
So let's dive in.
When Jane Villanueva was 28 years old, she decided to move in with her boyfriend, Rafael Solano.
And, friends, it was romantic and exciting and Expensive.
Wow.
A one bedroom in this school district doesn't come cheap, so we're going to have to make some lifestyle changes.
I'm in.
I can live off of love.
Love and mm! This is what we'll need.
First and last month's rent plus security deposit.
- Okay.
Wow.
- Yeah.
All right.
Well, let's start saving.
Ramen for dinner? Sounds good to me.
And, friends, save they did.
And little by little, they were pushing that line.
Who needs CrossFit? Which brings us here, now.
I worked five extra shifts this week.
You worked four.
I subtracted money for our weekly bills plus Mateo's new karate session, and I factored in the prepaid rent on this apartment plus a pair of cufflinks I sold that brought in $500.
I know this is normally your thing, but I happen to excel at budget worksheets.
Really? Nothing? I just made a spreadsheet joke.
I thought you'd be all over that.
Sorry.
I'm just so in the zone.
Well, you are gonna have to hit pause for a second to take this in.
We saved enough for first and last month's rent on the one bedroom upstairs.
Oh, my God! Are you oh.
Yay! We saved enough.
We did, and we have an extra $173.
Nice! So, can you take a break for an open house in an hour so we can stake our claim? Oh.
Oh! Stake a claim! Yes! Yes, yes! That's actually the expression I've been looking for.
(CHUCKLES) Sorry.
It's like this faucet turned on in my brain, and now I can't turn it off.
I'm happy your writing is going so well.
(SCOFFS) Better than well.
I'm finally on a roll.
Okay.
This place was worth taking a break for.
Right? Feels massive compared to my studio.
Ah.
Couch over here.
Nice play area for Mateo.
And your desk can go right here, by the window.
I can already see it.
Mwah.
(CHUCKLES) Sound it out, buddy.
(CHUCKLES) Ready for school! JANE: Who wants some eggs? (LAUGHS) RAFAEL: So what do you think? I think we need a dining room table.
- So you want this place? - I so want this place.
And a dining room table.
I think we should take the $173 and go to the flea market.
- Hmm? - Hmm.
Now, come on.
Selfie for my mom.
Mm-hmm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
Somebody's feeling better.
How was your run? Three miles.
No pain at all.
I feel strong.
Ready for chemo.
I've got this.
You've so got this.
And you have the right mind-set, the power of positive thinking.
Exactly.
I can see myself crossing the finish line, which is why I've decided to do those cold caps.
Are you sure? The doctor said the caps can be painful.
I can handle it.
And I'll feel so much better if I finish chemo with my hair.
Get on with my life after, leave cancer behind me.
So, are you up for being my cold cap coach? Try saying that three times fast.
You have to do some training.
They're apparently tricky to put on.
Of course.
I'll be your cold cap commando, your follicle friend, your hair helper.
(CHUCKLES) Thanks.
Now go get ready for your meeting.
You can't be late.
So sorry I am late.
(ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING, BELLS CHIMING) Wow! Your eyebrows look even thicker and more magnificent.
How is that possible? RIVER: The very best international team of eyebrow transplant specialists.
Shall we dive right in? I called this meeting to talk about the script, since I have final approval.
Right now there is way too much crazy stuff happening.
It's hard to know what to pay attention to.
What? You have one very long eyebrow hair.
Oh.
(BLOWS) Ah, yes.
Right.
Side effect of a new brow cream.
My point is there's too much crazy stuff going on in this show.
So, in the next draft, we need to really ground it.
I love grounding.
I'm all for grounding.
Let's ground it into the ground.
But what does that mean? Like practically, in terms of the script.
I was thinking, what if the maid isn't actually his long-lost mother? What if she's simply the maid? Oh, that's nice.
I love that.
Oh, so grounded.
(LAUGHS) Great.
And in act five, when Steve hits his head exiting Air Force One after coming home from visiting the troops and gets amnesia, let's lose it.
The-the airplane ride or visiting the troops? The amnesia.
Oh, River, please.
That is a key plot twist, a classic telenovela trope.
I have to say, I agree with River.
I do, too.
What a surprise.
Okay.
No amnesia.
Perfect.
I've already forgotten it.
Now, let's talk wardrobe.
ELLIE: Are you wearing Mommy's blouse? I'd call that a camisole.
Oh, there you are.
Okay, girls, go put your shoes on.
Quick lawyer moment.
I got an e-mail from the D.
A.
this morning.
He wants to meet about the case on Thursday.
I think this means they are officially dropping the charges against you.
(SIGHS) Oh.
Finally.
Surprised it took them this long to realize my mother is the world's most unreliable witness.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) Dinner and drinks downtown to celebrate tonight? Mm.
It would have to be late.
I'm crazed with work and the nanny canceled.
Unless you could pick the girls up after karate.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC DISTORTS, FADES) Sorry.
I-I didn't mean to overstep.
I just think we should keep boundaries in the kid department.
For now.
Absolutely.
Understood.
- Forget I mentioned karate.
- MATEO: Hi-ya! Hey! What did we say about karate? Stays in the dojo.
That's right.
You keep your hands to yourself.
Who are you texting? No one.
Sorry.
I was just putting down some ideas for a new piece I'm writing.
Your next book? Ugh.
Let's not jinx it.
Everything okay? Yeah, sorry.
That was, uh, Chase.
As in the guy who cut you out of the real estate deal that you put together? Well, now he wants to cut me back in.
What? Out of the blue? Uh, Mateo, slow down! Yeah, well, he needs to buy a couple of the surrounding lots.
And there's a holdout, guy named Harold.
My dad's friend.
Known him for years.
Chase thinks maybe I can persuade him to sell, and if I can, he would let me back in because I'd have something ârealâ to offer.
Huh.
Let's make this a practice run.
Hmm? This is where we'd discuss important things, like whether or not you should go into business with a guy you can't trust.
Well, I guess I know how you feel.
No.
Come on.
Let's pro and con it.
Pro: this is a way into a big opportunity and with no capital.
I don't have a lot to offer otherwise.
Mm-hmm.
And con (GLASS SHATTERS) - Aah! - NARRATOR: Uh-oh.
That definitely sounded like a con.
MAN: You break it, you buy it.
Of course.
We are so sorry.
How much is it? - 4,000.
- Dollars?! How would you like to pay? Ay.
Looks like Mateo broke the clock and the bank.
You will sit there, Mateo, and not move.
And that money is coming out of your piggy bank.
You understand? NARRATOR: That better be a huge-ass piggy.
So much for the apartment.
Got any more expensive cufflinks? I'm totally out of cufflinks.
(CHUCKLES) Hmm, I could always call that guy.
He's the one that offered me a job selling time-shares.
Maybe I should just do it.
No way.
That is not your dream.
That is your anti-dream.
We'll figure it out, somehow.
Come on.
If Rafael sublets his apartment over spring break and over the summer, we can make back the money we lost and move into a new place before the school year.
(CHUCKLES) Ma, that's too much food.
You're starting chemo tomorrow.
You need your strength.
So, do you guys want to stay in our guest room? Thank you, but I think you need your peace and quiet.
But if Raf moves back here for a bit, we can afford the one bedroom by fall, and most importantly, our whole family can stay together.
Of course.
Glad to have you back.
Oh.
Sorry, River had a few more script notes.
Turns out she hates dramatic entrances.
No problem.
You're back.
Let's toast.
To Jane and Raf's future apartment.
No way, Ma.
Tonight, we are toasting you.
To the strongest, bravest person I know.
Cheers.
You nervous, my love? A little.
You? That cold cap training was intense.
What's a cold cap? (SHIVERING) Is it too tight? No.
It's just so cold.
It's like a slushie brain freeze minus the slushie.
NARRATOR: Sounds like a poop sandwich minus the bread.
Remember, Xiomara, think positive.
Right.
I've got this.
WOMAN: Don't overthink it.
Just like swaddling a baby.
(SIGHS) That's very helpful.
I happen to be an expert swaddler.
Thank you, Baby.
You're welcome baby.
Another pro tip: There's a freezer in the back.
Keep your caps there instead of lugging that cooler around.
Don't worry.
I'll make sure she doesn't run off with another man.
Thank you.
He'll get the hang of it.
My husband used to put it on so lopsided, I looked like the love child of LL Cool J and Davy Crockett.
(BOTH LAUGH) I'm Donna.
Xiomara.
Do you have any friends with the C-word, Xiomara? - Uh - Cancer.
Oh.
No.
Oh.
Well you do now.
JANE: Mom said that her first session was okay.
- She made a friend.
- Of course she did.
Hey, Abuela.
Rafael will sleep in Mateo's room.
(LAUGHS) Oh, oh.
You're serious? I'm sorry, did I miss your wedding? But you know that we have sex.
Well, but not under my roof.
You know, I actually love staying in Mateo's room.
It's only three weeks.
She's doing us a favor.
But what about the summer? No sex, no Going down? I've never been so happy to have my head at room temperature.
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
It's just that you're Rogelio de la Vega! It is I, yes.
Oh, my God! I'm a huge fan! - Of course you are.
One selfie? - Of course! I read in People en Español that you're adapting Santos for American television? Yes.
North Americans think they know soaps.
But no, wait until they see how it's really done.
I still remember when Santos discovered the maid was actually his long-lost mother.
Yes.
That's not in this version.
Okay.
As long as he has amnesia.
Actually that's not in this version either.
Oh.
(STUTTERS) Well, sorry.
I'm sure the new show will be great, too.
It won't.
Hmm? I've made too many compromises.
We are losing the essence of the show, I can't disappoint my fans! Look at her.
I'm okay! You're not fine! You need a real telenovela.
One that is true to its cultural roots.
So talk to River.
She is the one who requested the changes.
So try again.
Come on.
Remember the power of positive thinking? JANE: Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I really think this could be my next book.
NARRATOR: Now who's jinxing it? That's amazing.
And Chase offered to pay for a lawyer to draw up a contract.
Protecting me from him.
- Wow.
Okay.
Now we're talking.
- Right? Mmm.
Look at us.
My book, your hotel.
Our dreams are kind of within reach, huh? Okay so now we're just jinxing things left and right? You know what else is working out perfectly? Seriously, stop tempting fate.
My grandma's out.
(GIGGLING) (SCREAMS) (JANE SCREAMING) I told you.
Geez! The coast is clear.
Abuela took Mateo to church.
(SIGHS) Oh.
So What went down after your grandmother saw my junk? Oh, nothing too crazy.
I'm an adult! Adults have sex.
(DISGUSTED GRUNTS) No more sex in the house is the bottom line.
We'll have to sneak around like teenagers.
Not that I ever had sex when I was a teenager.
We still have all our spots at the Marbella.
- Eyes on the prize.
- Eyes on the prize.
How'd it go with Chase? H-He said all the right things.
And it's real, Jane.
I mean, if the city approves the plans, then I'll start getting paid, like, really paid, when we break ground, which is in three months.
Really paid as in? Maybe even a two bedroom.
Ooh! Look at us.
Moving on up before we've even moved out.
What's wrong? The guy is such a douche bag.
I mean, do I really want to go into business with him? Long-term? I don't know.
What do you mean? You always have an opinion.
It's a hard call, and I haven't even seen the property.
ROGELIO: Your opinion is so important.
Which is why I've been saying yes to all of the changes.
But things have gone too far.
While you know more about American television, I am an expert in telenovelas.
So I must take a stand for the form.
Is this about the lavender? Fine.
A purple tie for the inauguration scene.
Happy? It's not about the lavender.
Or not only about the lavender.
It's about everything.
The maid has to be his mother.
And I have to have amnesia.
And the Oval Office has to be a heart because we're co-presidents, and two ovals form a heart.
It's cheesy! It's romantic.
And romance is what novelas are about.
A pornography of emotions.
This can't just be an ordinary American soap opera.
I am starring in it, which means that it is the opposite of ordinary.
Then you leave me no choice.
I own the rights to The Passions of Santos, so if you can't respect my vision, I will take the rights elsewhere.
Well played, Rogelio.
I underestimated you.
Thank you.
Most people do.
I will call the studio, and I will tell them to restore the script to your original vision.
RAFAEL: Try to envision it.
And don't look at the graffiti, or the trash, or whatever that is.
(LAUGHS) So where should I look? Start here.
We'd go clean and modern.
250 rooms, all with a private balcony.
Saltwater pool.
Cabanas.
Outdoor bar.
A spa? With glass walls on one side looking out over the water.
(SIGHS) Can you see it? I can see it.
You know what else I see? How excited you are.
You have to do this.
Just protect yourself.
Make sure you have a good lawyer.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Speaking of The D.
A.
is not dropping the charges against you.
What? It's ridiculous, but apparently your mother's story checks out.
She told investigators that Anezka was watching Game of Thrones, and even told them where the episode was paused.
That could be a lucky guess.
Or my sister texted her, or my mother got her hands on that police report.
I would've seen her.
J.
R.
, she's lying.
Trust me, no one else was in the room where it happened.
The room where it happened? The room where it happened, right.
But your mother said she was in the bathroom.
Well, she's lying.
And we will prove that.
And then I will get this case dismissed with prejudice.
I'm good at my job.
I will catch her in a lie.
XIOMARA: You're gonna get us arrested.
(LAUGHS) Put those things away! Oh, please.
It's part of the sisterhood.
Come on.
Just feel 'em.
Whoa.
Just the right balance of perky and supple.
I'll take one of those! (BOTH LAUGHING) NARRATOR: Now that's what I call ordering off the menu.
- Why is it so hot? - Ah, it's the radiation.
We call it âthe hot toddyâ" (BOTH LAUGHING) Ah.
I never thought someone would make me laugh this much about cancer.
Well, you know, it helps that I'm high as a kite.
(LAUGHING QUIETLY) Really? Weed? Takes the edge off the cold caps, trust me.
And you got to do what you can to feel good.
Because it does get harder.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to stay positive.
I want to cross that finish line.
I know.
JANE: I so know.
The hotel's gonna be great.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of crossing a line Hey! Mateo! Don't you ever lay a hand on my son again! I can't believe you would ever hit Mateo.
He was reaching for the stove I don't care what he was doing! Okay, okay, you need to calm down and watch your tone.
And we talked about this.
Hold on, wait.
This has happened before? Once.
I told her not to do it.
Then you should have told me.
We are not a hitting family.
We also do not yell at my Abuela.
This is her house, so you need to show her some respect.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to raise my voice at you.
Just promise me that will never happen again.
It will if he reaches for the stove - Excuse me? - Abuela! Mateo needs to learn to follow rules.
You cannot spank my son.
Understand? My house, my rules.
Understand? Then I'm not staying here anymore.
JANE: And then Abuela said good riddance, and he left, and the whole thing is just such a mess, Mom.
Aw, hon.
They probably just need time to cool off.
I hope so.
Man, I'm gonna need to cool off if I keep walking with you.
Chemo hasn't slowed you down at all.
I know, right? I really do feel good.
Just give everyone time.
It will get better.
It's gotten so much worse.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'll say.
Abuela claims that she's forgiven Raf, but the way that she glares at him, ugh, I wouldn't want to come over to the house either.
So he doesn't.
Are you sure you're okay? I can get to the bench.
Keep talking.
Well, between his real estate project, our different shifts at work, and my writing schedule, we're like ships in the night.
He's only a month away from breaking ground on the hotel though, right? Yeah, which means we're a month away from a payday.
(CHUCKLES) (GROANS SOFTLY) Are you sure we shouldn't stop? I can get to the bench.
That's the finish line.
Ugh, poor Xo.
It's so hard to see her like this.
You and Raf need to carve out some alone time.
Oh, we have a hot date planned, at the Marbella storage closet.
Capped off with fried fish sticks, free from the kids' buffet.
Okay, we're at the bench.
Sit.
You know what, while Xo catches her breath, why don't I catch you up on Jane and Raf's finances? Okay, in the last nine weeks, Jane and Rafael have saved enough money to pay off the freaking clock.
So, in other words, they're back to square one.
I'm ready.
(GROANS SOFTLY) Talk to me about your writing.
It's going well.
I can't wait for you to read it.
Oh, me, too.
As soon as I don't have chemo brain.
The only thing worse than chemo brain? Chemo brain freeze.
I wish there was more that I could do for you.
Distract me.
Keep talking.
So, the sets are done? Yes.
Uh, I am meeting the production designer later today to see them.
How have you been feeling this week, Xiomara? Well, uh tired, nauseous.
Uh, but I-I know it'll pass.
You have a great attitude.
Donna's late today.
She's gonna love the fake eyelashes I bought her.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) What? Donna had an unexpected recurrence with complications.
She passed away three days ago.
What? I don't understand.
It happened suddenly.
Things progressed quickly.
I am so sorry.
She wanted me to give you her pot brownies.
Xiomara No.
I'll be okay.
(SNIFFLES) It's just the cold cap.
PETRA: I just feel so helpless.
The thought of you meeting my mother without me? Baby, come on.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh.
We're up to âbabyâ now.
You've already prepared me for what I can expect.
The hook, the eye.
The absolute hatred for me.
Look, she may be a good liar, but I'm a better lawyer.
I'll catch her.
NARRATOR: Which brings us here now.
And why were you in the bathroom for 22 minutes? IBS.
You know what that is? - I do.
- Explosive diarrhea.
- Okay, so you went to the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm.
- And then? - I was about to leave, but I heard all this yelling, so I pushed open the door.
Uh, sorry.
I missed that last point.
I pushed open the door, and I saw Petra standing by front door.
And then Anezka, she say something, but I could not hear what it was because the toilet was running.
But Petra, she turned, and she charged her sister, and she shoved Anezka over the balcony! Voomp! Then Petra's heel broke.
Wait.
Petra's heel broke? That wasn't in your original statement to the police.
I must have forgot.
Are we done here? I'm getting hungry.
(PHONE CHIMES) (PHONE CHIMES) WOMAN: You're gonna love what we've built here, Mr.
De La Vega.
And voila! But this is just a regular oval Oval Office.
River approved it.
It looks like a double-breasted poop emoji! River approved it.
Oh, my God, they cut the amnesia! I'm guessing River approved it? What the hell are you doing?! I need to apply this extremely rare cream to my eyebrows, or the transplant won't take.
- I don't believe you.
- Oh, it's true.
I had it shipped directly from Paris.
I'm not talking about your overrated bushes, you diabolical diva! I'm talking about all of the changes we agreed to the sets, the costumes, the script! The executives and I decided to go in a different direction.
You can't.
I own the rights.
To the telenovela, but these past two months, I have secured the underlying rights to the short story the telenovela was based on, which means that I can do this show any way I want.
(GASPS) Oh, please.
Don't be so dramatic.
If you knew anything about telenovelas, you'd know that everything is supposed to be dramatic! (DOOR SLAMS) That hateful hen set me up.
You know what we have to do? - Pack up your dressing room? - Get revenge.
Have you ever killed anyone, Rudy? Kidding.
But you haven't, though, right? (RINGTONE PLAYING) I need to take this.
Go.
Hi, Alba.
What? Alba called.
You weren't home, so she was worried.
We came here every week.
And now (SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I'm trying to be positive for you.
For me? I don't need that.
I just mean it makes you feel better, which makes me feel better, because I hate when you so worry so much.
But with Donna I didn't have to do anything or be anything.
She just got it.
That makes sense.
But no, you don't have to worry about me.
I need you here.
Positive, negative.
Whatever you're feeling.
But what if that's not possible? I'm sorry.
(VOICE BREAKING) I know that's an awful thing to say, but Donna was here, and now she's gone, and that could be me.
That's not going to happen.
But it could.
It could happen.
I think it's just hitting me that there is no finish line.
I thought once chemo was over, I'd put it in the rear-view mirror and leave it behind, but it doesn't work like that.
Donna was fine.
For five years, she was fine, and now she's not here anymore, and that just sucks.
It does.
So, I am gonna quit those stupid cold caps.
If I lose my hair, so what? They hurt too damn much, and every day is hard enough.
(SIGHS) Thank God.
It was torture just watching you.
(DISH CLINKS IN DISTANCE) I couldn't sleep.
Abuela, why can't you let it go? What? This whole thing with Rafael.
We're fine.
You're not.
You're still being cold, so he doesn't want to come over, which means I hardly get to see him.
I mean, we're falling asleep FaceTiming each other.
Jane, stop.
No.
Why are you still so mad? Because he disrespected me in my house.
Where I make the rules still! And at some point I won't be able to.
At some point I'll be too old, but I'm not now.
Too old? You're a long way away from that.
No.
I'm not.
It's the cycle of life.
I'm next.
Not your mother.
It has to be me.
Abuela.
I feel like I don't have control over anything anymore.
I know, Abuela.
Shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
(SIGHS) Yeah, I think we'll be okay.
Caught your mother in a lie.
She said she pushed the bathroom door open.
The door pulls in.
It's enough to discredit someone like her, someone who's lied before.
Well, that's great news.
So what's wrong? She said something else.
Something I can't stop thinking about.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Did she give you details about her bowel movements? Look, it's a whole thing.
About what happened that night.
In the room.
She said Anezka said something, and then you charged at her and your heel broke.
What? That's ridiculous.
And I checked the crime scene photos.
There was an unexplained nick in the floor, right where she said.
Are you saying you believe her? I'm saying I'm confused.
She's a convicted murderer who's conspired to kill me on multiple occasions.
- I know, but - But what? (SCOFFS) She got in your head.
I knew it.
I knew she would.
- She didn't.
- She did.
What? So, what now? Do you want to examine the shoes I was wearing that day? Go ahead, take a look.
If I killed my sister and the heel broke, wouldn't I have thrown them away? - I'm sorry.
I just - Get out.
Petra Look, you don't have to be part of my kids' carpool routine, okay, but I do need my girlfriend to trust me! - That's not fair.
- You know what's not fair? That I'm in this situation in the first place, and you know that! Please, just go.
RAFAEL: Hello? Anyone home? Oh, in here.
- Oh, sorry.
- No, it's okay.
Come in.
Yes, yes.
Come in.
Please, sit.
I am very sorry that I have been unfair to you No.
I shouldn't have yelled at you.
I know that And I shouldn't have spanked Mateo.
And I won't do it again.
It's just that I've been having a hard time.
But I miss my friend.
Me, too.
Aw.
Can I get out of your bed now? This is a little weird.
(SIGHS) So, now things can go back to normal.
You can move in for the summer.
Yeah.
Jane? Mm-hmm? I don't think I want to move back in with your grandma.
And it's not because I don't love her.
You know that I do.
It's okay.
I get it.
I just miss you.
We never see each other.
But it's just another month, right? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And then That's the other thing that I need to tell you.
Oh, no.
Chase just called.
I guess the city permits are taking longer than expected.
How much longer? Could be as little as six months, or as much as a year.
Oh.
Wow.
(LAUGHS) Well, that's okay.
We'll just hang in there.
I don't even know if it's worth it.
Of course it's worth it.
Go back to the lot.
Remember your dream.
(CHUCKLES) Now go, because this is my designated writing time.
Okay, got it.
(LAUGHING) Leaving now.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so, friends, Rafael went to remember his dream.
I love you more than the sun More than all the drops of water in the oceans (DOORBELL RINGS) (TV TURNS OFF) I'm looking for Rogelio.
Is he here? River Fields.
It's you.
Hi, there.
Wow.
Hi.
You must be Xo.
Nice to meet you.
Now, where the hell is your delusional has-been of a husband? He-He's not home.
What's wrong? Y-You seem angry.
Beautiful and tall and so angry.
He leaked a blind item to the press about me being a diva! Oh, food.
I need food right this minute.
Oh.
- Wait, no! - Mm-mm.
Oh.
(MOUTH FULL): I'm okay.
I'm fine.
I stress eat.
Where is he? Where's Rogelio? I'm gonna track him down.
Yeah, you're not going anywhere.
You just ate a pot brownie, and trust me, they're really, really strong.
- What? - Give me your car keys.
Might as well make yourself comfy.
I'm actually watching a telenovela.
Amor de dos Caras.
Have you seen it? I've actually never seen a telenovela.
What? And you're adapting one? Girl, sit your ass down.
(SIGHS) Okay.
All you need to know is that Marisa and Vera are twin sisters.
Marisa murdered Juan Miguel and is posing as Vera, who is secretly dating Hector.
Oh, and Hector might go to jail.
I came clean to the D.
A.
What do you mean? I told them what I did.
How I was blackmailed into working against you, but then changed my mind.
What? And in light of these mitigating circumstances, the D.
A.
doesn't have a case against you.
And it was dismissed with prejudice.
(CORK POPS) (FANFARE PLAYS) What about you? I'll be disbarred.
You did that for me? It wasn't for you.
It was for me.
I've been marching towards this day for a long time.
When my past would catch up with me.
And I just kept pushing the line.
But I can't anymore.
I can't bring an innocent person you down with me.
I'm just overwhelmed.
I know.
I'm sorry I didn't trust you.
But it's over.
It's really over.
RIVER: She seems so conflicted.
Well, Paloma's always playing an angle.
Last week, she seduced Eduardo's therapist to get her to suggest he change his will.
OMG, no, shut up.
(SIGHS) I think I'm beginning to feel this brownie.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You think? Shh! Here comes the main couple.
Okay, what's going on? Where are you taking me? I went back to the lot like you said.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I realized something.
The most important piece of real estate in my future isn't some big hotel.
It's a one bedroom apartment with you.
That's my dream.
(EXHALES) Which is why (GASPS) You took that real estate job? It's a full-time position with a salary and good health insurance, which means I can support us both.
- But - I've already done the math.
Okay? You can go down to one or two shifts a week so you can really focus on your writing.
You are on a roll, Jane.
Let's bet on your dream now.
Mine will come.
Oh, that is hella romantic.
What'd I tell you? Oh, and Elena deserves that kind of happiness.
Right? Mm.
(EXHALES) Mm, here's the big, sweeping kiss.
Aw! (DOOR CLOSES) (GASPS) What are you doing here? Oh, Rogelio, I love telenovelas so much.
- What? - They're everything.
They surprise you and move you and make you feel alive.
So, let's do Steve and Brenda your way.
Really? Shh, it's not over yet.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) Huh.
How can they move past that epic kiss? Oh, the scary music means they're getting ready for the classic Friday night cliffhanger.
(RINGTONE PLAYING) It might be my new boss.
- Hello? - MAN: Do you accept a call from the Miami-Dade Federal Women's Correctional Facility? Yes.
I have some important information for you.
Look, I don't care what you know about my parents.
I already told you, I'm not giving you Luisa's location.
Rafael, trust me.
What I know is going to change your life.
Forever.
(ALL GASP) Now now we have to wait to find out what happens? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You do, River Fields.
That's why it's known as a classic Friday night cliffhanger.