The A-Team (1983) s04e16 Episode Script
Cowboy George
1 (male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
[birds chirping.]
[country music playing on radio.]
[man chattering on radio.]
Yeah, you see this whole thing is just a simple matter of economics.
I took couple of night courses last semester.
Boy, I wanna tell you what a difference that has made.
See, Murdock Murdock.
Creative accounting is just like any other applied art form, see? Understanding debits and credits.
Understanding where you can gain the edge by calling something an expense instead of a direct cost.
Now, this deal that I've set up at The Floor 'Em is a classic.
I mean, classic case in point.
Murdock, am I boring you, hmm? 'Cause I can stop, you know.
I'm just trying to tell you how you're gonna make a couple hundred grand.
That's all I'm trying to do.
Boy, I see what you mean, Face.
Yeah.
You weren't even listening.
You were sound asleep.
You just tried to explain to me how you was gonna cheat this guy at the roadhouse.
Not a roadhouse, Murdock.
It's an auditorium.
I am an artists' booking agent, right? Wrong.
You're a scam agent booking artists.
Same thing.
Now, look, my buddy at Peach Pear Management has told me that if I can guarantee him a full house he is gonna send me Ready? Cowboy George for a weekend gig.
Can you believe it? Cowboy George.
Who is Cowboy George? Am I hearing this right? Don't you listen to the radio? I don't need to.
I already got lots of pretty music inside my head.
Yeah.
The song Three Blind Mice sung by the Lennon Sisters is going through my head.
I need a change.
It's beginning to bug me.
Well, you're going to get your chance because tomorrow Cowboy George and the Range Rats are going to play at The Floor 'Em and they're going to make the A-Team $300,000 in profits.
Oh, we gonna cut a fat deal, huh, Face? Right.
Gonna guarantee the house, take 100% of the profits.
No house split.
That's important, see 'cause nightclub owner, they can beat you at the gate.
Boy, have I got this game down.
I'm so glad I took that night course.
[people chattering.]
Excuse me, boys, I'm How you doing? I'm looking for Chuck Danford.
We're closed.
Ah, listen, I'm Templeton Peck of Peach Pear Artists' Management.
Yeah, I believe I spoke with you the other day about my client.
It's Cowboy George and the Range Rats.
[exclaiming.]
No kiddin'.
How do, how do? How do? Chuck Danford.
Oh, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuckie.
Remmey St.
Starland here.
[chuckling.]
That's a funny name.
Thank you.
Made it up myself.
Well, when's old Cowboy George gonna bust on in here? Tomorrow.
Yeah, we at Peach Pear Management I tell you, we're real glad to get your call.
Yes, and I'm telling you Cowboy George is gonna fill this place up.
He better.
Yeah, of course I'm four-walling this deal on a minimum guarantee of $25,000.
That's against a guaranteed 100% of the house.
Now, you keep the overrides on all concessions with a 20% kickback to us.
I don't rightly understand a word you're saying, mister.
We talkin' Hollywood talk, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuckie.
And he's using a stardust dialect.
What I'm saying here, Chuck is this is an envelope, see, with $20,000 in it.
That rents The Floor 'Em for a day.
I take the gate, and you get 80% of drinks and sandwiches.
Good.
That was the deal.
Why didn't you just say that? I did.
You guys work it out, okay? I'll prep the docs then we'll ink the pad and skyrocket out of here.
How about it? What's he sayin'? Oh, prepare the documents, sign the deal and leave.
Why didn't he say that? He did.
Ah, just a minute.
Yeah.
Uh, the boys on this pipeline are rough.
Ah.
Now, you don't give 'em Cowboy George they'll kill you.
Just you watch, Murdock, timing, good business sense with a little tricky accounting is gonna make us rich.
What now? Pickup Cowboy George.
He's comin' out on the plane from Phoenix.
Should be into the Dry Creek Airport in about 15 minutes? Right.
[birds chirping.]
Well, I guess you're right, Face I mean, as long as we can get that Cowboy George.
What do you mean, "As long as we get Cowboy George"? We got him, all right? Listen, my very good friend Dashiel Goldman represents him, okay? After all, I'm getting a 50-50 cut on this weekend gig.
You mean this guy is gonna give you this hot act just so that you can make all this money? Yeah, see, I helped him out with a little scrape he had with his ex-wife last year.
Yeah, anyway, the deal is done.
Don't worry.
Cowboy George is ours.
(Murdock) I don't see him.
Uh, Cowboy George? Yo, Cowboy George? Excuse me, I'm looking for Templeton Peck from Peach Pear Management.
ls that you? (Face) Uh, yeah, that's me.
I'm looking for Cowboy George.
Well, I'm almost him.
I'm Boy George.
Hi.
Dash Goldman sent me out to meet you here.
You picked up the guarantee on my contract.
We're heading for the last roundup.
What are you trying to say, man? [stammering.]
Wait a minute, see, I agreed to book Cowboy George Well, I'm Boy George and I agreed to play the Arizona Forum.
Forum? Oh, well, there is no Forum here.
I mean, this is a barn, it's a dance hall.
It's called The Floor 'Em.
Guys with broken noses, they drink there hit each other over the head with table legs It's not your-- But Dash Goldman told me you picked up my contract that you would guarantee me 60% of what I earned at my last gig which was at, you know, Madison Square Gardens.
Like $2 million, man.
Dash Goldman ducked and we took the bullet in the chest.
Uh, let me get this straight now.
I owe you 60% of $2 million.
Uh, uh Yeah, well, let's see, now, that's $1.
2 million.
That's right.
I mean, pay or play, man.
[stammers.]
I tell you what, let's go look at the place.
Let's go and look at the hall 'cause I wouldn't mind seeing what it's like, you know.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
[people chattering.]
You gotta be kiddin'.
They don't want no English rock star with eyeball glitter.
This is a tough crowd.
Look, I don't wanna hear from you, all right? You got your $20,000.
You're out of it.
It's not your problem, Chuck.
Now, look I wanted Cowboy George.
You said you'd deliver Cowboy George.
Now, I gotta fill this place, you understand? What do you care? I rented the hall.
Look, I got bigger problems, Chuck.
Okay? Now, get lost.
Okay, partner, let me say this so you hear [whimpering.]
I want Cowboy George.
I don't want no English glitter prince.
Now, Cowboy George shows up or you show up in a concrete bathrobe at the bottom of Frazier Dam.
Yeah, well, I Let him loose, Chuckie.
Besides inking pads and skying here and there I also like to blow holes in the heads of rednecks.
[chuckling.]
Excuse me.
I can't play this place because it's a certified toilet.
Toilet? Could we discuss this outside? Actually, I don't think it's so bad [door closing.]
We're in trouble.
Call Kurt in Twin Rivers and tell him we got a problem.
Kurt ain't gonna like it.
Armored car comes in tomorrow.
Look, it ain't my fault.
I called the management company I booked Cowboy George and some turkey in a sequined coat shows up.
Well, that's Boy George.
He's a big top 40 rock and roll star.
And he won't draw flies in this valley.
Now, get on the phone.
What do you mean, you've "got Boy George"? Just what I told you.
Dash Goldman stiffed me.
Well, he didn't stiff you.
Boy George is 100 times the act that Cowboy George is.
Yeah, well, let's just say that there are some contractual inadequacies that make this deal less than perfect, okay? Besides well, there's I think there's something going on down here.
I told you, this guy threatened to kill me.
What for? You rented his joint, you gave him $20,000.
My point, exactly.
I got Murdock following one of his henchmen.
[people chattering.]
Hey, Hannibal, why's Face out here spending our money? It ain't right.
Ever since he took that show business accounting course he's been in the fiscal twilight zone.
That Dash Golden dude I wouldn't let him hold my wallet if I had a gun trained on him.
Yeah, he's pretty slippery.
Face is trying to get something going between jobs.
And we all got our outside interests.
You got your daycare center, Murdock's got his psychosis, I got my acting.
Hannibal, you ain't no actor.
You don't find actors dressing up like lizards.
That's a very narrow interpretation, B.
A.
Boris Karloff wouldn't like it.
Now, imagine me with a wig and a hat.
How do I look? Pretty good.
Chuck wagon chili on a honey roll, son.
That's the turn off up there.
We got to meet Face at the Adobe Inn, Room 6.
[car honking I've Been Working on the Railroad.]
Oh, boy, am I glad you're here.
You look Hey, that's terrific.
How you doing, B.
A.
? Terrible, man.
Hannibal tells me you're out here wasting our money.
Well, I'm That's a very narrow interpretation of it.
Everybody keeps saying that but I'm still waiting for your explanation to what happened to our $20,000.
Well, let's not stand around outside.
Come on in.
(Face) Uh, George George, I'd like to introduce you to some very good friends of mine.
This is Hannibal Smith.
How do you do? Hi, how are you doing? And B.
A.
Baracus.
Hi.
This place is really American.
But I think the people will like us once they hear the music.
Boy George.
Wow.
How are you? [Murdock groaning.]
How you doing, Murdock? These Lennon Sisters they just won't stop singing in my head.
Will you cut it out, girls, and give this mice song some time off? What's he talking about, Face? Yeah, well, he's got a song stuck in his head.
Murdock will you tell Hannibal about the building, the guys with the machine guns? I followed this cowboy to a building about 10 miles out of town.
And they have M60s mounted on a jeep.
I couldn't overhear everything because these girls are making so much racket in my head.
Something's going on here, Hannibal.
I been running this thing around in my head and well, one thing's for sure.
They want Cowboy George to play at The Floor 'Em to draw in all those cowboys who've been out working on the pipeline.
You know, now for some reason, they don't think that Boy George here can draw the country-western audience.
That's why they're trying to kill me.
Why they need to fill that auditorium, I don't know.
Why don't we go on down to The Floor 'Em and tell Chuck Danford that Cowboy George has arrived.
Well, that's great, you guys, but I came here to sing.
Oh, you'll sing.
You'll be the opening act for me.
And while you're entertaining them we'll stick our nose into their business.
Whatever it is.
Yeah, well, I feel really bad about this because you guys have gotta give me $1.
2 million.
And I've seen that hall.
Five quid a head, you ain't gonna make it.
This is a bad deal.
(Hannibal and B.
A.
) Face.
Yeah, that was the kicker.
Yeah, but I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to explain our little contractual divot here.
Face, $1.
2 million is not a divot it is a crater.
All right, girls, girls, girls, be quiet.
The big kids are trying to talk here now.
See, he was so busy counting the money in his head he failed to read the fine print in the contract which said that acts could be substituted.
My copy of the contract was smudged.
Yeah, well, I just You know, when you do business with people there's a certain degree of trust that's involved in the deal.
Face, how could you trust a guy named Dash? You see, he owes me a little favor 'cause I helped him out with his ex-wife.
[growling.]
Yeah.
Look, it just never occurred to me that he'd knife me in the back on this thing.
This is terrible.
I mean, I hate to see you guys get stuck with this you know, but I think this Mr.
Goldman's a bit of a pirate.
You know, maybe we can work something out.
Well, George, George George, you really are one of the great ones.
Well, I'll talk to the rest of the guys and maybe we can cut the guarantee in half or something.
Half? Half.
$600,000? Ah, gee, that's very generous of you, George.
But, you see, to be perfectly frank, I mean we're not gonna be able to come up with that.
You know, we'd need a huge auditorium.
We could do an outside concert, you know.
We can advertise on the TV.
We can pull this off.
I can do the radio gig.
I'm primed for the airwaves.
I can do it, guys.
Really, I can.
I don't know.
This valley, you know, it may not be keyed to your audience demographics, George.
Nonsense.
Everybody likes Culture Club.
Hey, Face, he's right.
They're great.
Well, it's time to go down to The Floor 'Em and have Cowboy George lay his card on the bar.
[birds chirping.]
Got some warm beer and some stale pretzels in this dump? Son of a gun you did show.
I was beginnin' to believe that bookin' agent of yours was tryin' to pull a fast one.
Better put the amps and the heavy stuff on the stage.
Cowboy George in the flesh.
I just can't believe it.
You gonna get their blood pumpin'.
And you must be that scuzzbucket they call Chuck Danford.
Hey, now take it easy.
Be nice.
Mighty tough on my man, Temp Peck.
Yeah, well I'll apologize, because of you.
Where is he? He's over at the radio station.
Getting the ad campaign ready.
(Herm) When we talked on the phone you said that there would be a guest DJ from Los Angeles.
N[music playing.]
Now I held the spot open because you said it would be somebody on this list.
(Face) Right.
Right, I know.
I know.
But, you see, that was before I was in Phoenix and I found out that Pecos Bob Steel was available.
That man has won the Country Mike Award, three years running.
Four.
I was runner up in 1980.
But I lost to Spinnin' Jack Spiner on Country 109.
But I never should've lost to Spiner 'cause he's nothing but a Chiquita banana with a straw hat.
And I think he bought it.
But then, hey, how could you ever prove it? Yeah, right.
So we're pretty lucky to get Pecos Bob here to do this little afternoon guest stint.
Uh, could you do a little fast rap for me, please? Now you're cookin' the beef and rollin' the leaf with the real Bob Steel where yours truly, the caped crusader of sound, gonna make it all happen.
I wanna take it to the border That's fine.
where Kenny and Dolly are gonna light up the night with their new country rendition of Badlands right here on the night beacon of sound K-GAB Radio.
That's fine, Bobby.
The last stand for country music here in this country where the old sidewinder himself, Pecos Bob Steel Three blind mice is lookin' for a love song.
(both) See how they run (both) They all ran after the farmer's wife She cut off their tails with a carving knife Never seen such a sight in your life As three blind mice I shouldn't have done this.
They're not going to stop now.
They're not going to stop now.
Okay, just be quiet.
So, Herm What do you say? When can he start? Now he's gotta do a few promos for the Cowboy George concert down at The Floor 'Em.
Fine, the next shift is in four minutes.
Stop, girls.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
He's just fooling around.
You know, don't worry, it's You know these DJs.
They're just a bunch of crazy, funny guys.
This is Bill Sutter from Sutter Feed and Grain saying, "Thanks, neighbors and adios.
" I gotta get back to the store.
Okay, well, see you tomorrow, Bill.
You got the drift of the board, Bob, there? Uh, right, right.
Uh, Herm Herm, there's a little gig I do with the Lennon Sisters.
You wouldn't, by any chance, have one of their albums round here, would you? Oh, well, I got a copy of their Too Marvelous For Words album over there but I think you better stick with C & W Top 40-- Oh, right, right.
Herm, thanks, we're fine.
I think we got it.
Everything's gonna turn out real good.
You're all right? Yeah.
Murdock, don't.
I repeat, do not play the Lennon Sisters.
I'm in deep trouble here.
You know, I got to fill that hall.
In fact, I got to overfill that hall.
See, I'm thinking if I can set up three or four shows maybe I can dig us out of this ditch.
Why don't you trust the old sidewinder here? Turn on your radio and just get out of here.
Let the Prince of Platters do his tricks.
Come on.
Come on.
Don't forget the commercials, okay? Boy George followed by Cowboy George.
Get out of here.
[imitating gun firing.]
Out of the west and into your living room this is the old sidewinder himself [smashing.]
Pecos Bob Steel ambushing you with the biggest hits on record.
Now, buckle your seatbelts 'cause this stagecoach is a-rolling with your favorite sounds.
Out of the past, the Lennon Sisters singing the title song from their hit album Too Marvelous For Words.
Too Marvelous For Words.
You're just too marvelous Too marvelous This is the old diamondback, Pecos Bob Steel laying the wax and spinning the sounds for you on KGAB, K-GAB radio.
Hey, how about a change of pace? Something out of the past, an oldie but a goodie.
Something from the Lennon Sisters and their hit album, Too Marvelous For Words this is Mr.
Clarinet Man.
But before we travel down those tracks, partners let me remind you about the great double bill that we have tonight at The Floor 'Em.
It's gonna be the two Georges in concert, mixing and matching their sounds.
First, it will be Boy George and the Culture Club and then it will be Cowboy George and the Range Rats.
So, y'all show up and tell them that Pecos Bob engraved your invitation right here on KGAB, K-GAB radio.
Now oh, let's hear it, girls let's hear it.
[Mr Clarinet Man playing.]
[people chattering.]
They're comin' in.
Get rollin'.
[phone ringing.]
Floor 'Em.
Let me speak to Cowboy George.
Cowboy George.
Telephone.
Thanks.
Howdy.
This is Cowboy George.
Hey, man, it's going down.
They're headed toward Twin Rivers.
Gotcha.
And now, straight from George you're gonna have to go on and stay on.
I may not make it back.
You're supposed to be bailing me out of this.
I mean, this is not my kind of crowd.
And I will if I can.
[people cheering.]
I'll give you a great intro.
Well, I'll go on.
But these people are in for a surprise.
[people whooping.]
Really cool.
I hear you been out in the wilderness for about three months laying a pipeline and we aim to entertain you.
So, you just sit back and relax.
'Cause opening for me tonight is one of the great acts, not just in show business but of the world.
Boy George and the Culture Club! [crowd booing.]
Well, all yours.
You could always throw them some raw meat.
[chuckling.]
Good luck.
[band playing.]
Woman, thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you [crowd booing.]
What we have is something special Something quite unique What we have should last forever Heaven at my feet I would give the world to you, girl Or anything you need There is nothing I won't do Just promise that you'll never leave God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me (Boy George) In this world you are my pleasure No one can compete Happiness is hard to measure Woman, you're so sweet I would give my heart to you Open the door! You're the air I breathe This is a country-western station.
I'm gonna call the police! There is nothing I won't do Just promise that you'll never leave God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me (Boy George) I' When I'm alone at night I' Okay, we're in position, B.
A.
I think of love What's going on? It's a bank, Hannibal.
The armored car is there.
They got the guards tied up in the back.
They wanted those cowboys out of town so they could rob the oil company payroll.
And I don't blame them.
Those are tough guys.
Won't you call me If you need me Okay.
Won't you call me Mind your end of the street.
If you need me When they come down this way we'll catch them in the crossfire.
Won't you call me Got it? (B.
A.
) Got it, Hannibal.
If you need me I have loved God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman For the joy that you give to me I would give the world to you, girl [yelling.]
Or anything you need Oh, God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me We give up! We give up! Oh, baby You got a light, Butch? I get cranky when my cigar ain't lit.
Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me These boys are gonna need a little bit of a checkup.
Been hit on the head is all.
Okay, roll them out.
What are you gonna do with all the money? Well, won't you come on inside with me? [engine starts.]
(Murdock) That was the Lennon Sisters singing Fool for Love.
(Herm) Open the door! Open the door! Just want y'all to know that the switchboard here has been fighting up [radio switches off.]
Got couple deputies in back can help us with all this.
Hey, boys, y'all wanna come on out here? [guns cocking.]
Oh.
Y'all are under arrest for attempted bank robbery.
Get them up high.
Book these outlaws.
I hate it when I don't spot a phony.
[chuckling.]
Butch, show these men the nice rooms we got for them.
Now, don't get cocky, Butch.
We could chew a hole in the wall and come get you.
I won't hold my breath.
What's going on, Hannibal? One thing's for sure.
That sheriff is not a real sheriff.
So, where's the real sheriff? That's a good question.
I got another one.
What next? [people cheering.]
[band playing.]
[humming.]
Spirit changed the conversation Stepping stones across the land I never wanted to be a hero I never wanted to be a man I hurt you, darling I made you cry I hurt you, darling Don't ask me why Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd hold your hand Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd understand If I could say this was judgment day ' You know I'd be a millionaire I'm prepared to wear my sorrow Everywhere we go in town Ain't no need to beg or borrow While you're there to drag me down I hurt you, darling I made you cry I hurt you, darling Don't ask me why Oh, yeah Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd hold your hand Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd understand If I could say this was judgment day You know I'd be a millionaire Yeah, yeah [whispers.]
Justice right.
Move away I need you so I can't let go Gotta go on stage and make an announcement.
What's up? I got the money.
Now we gotta buy a little time.
I hurt you, darling I made you cry Hold it, hold it! Hold it, now.
I hurt you, darling [all yelling.]
(Kurt) May I have your attention, please? I'm temporary Sheriff Miller, from down at Twin Rivers.
Now, I know most of you men have been working on the pipeline and you're waiting around for your pay.
[all cheering.]
I got some bad news for you.
The armored car was hit and they got your payroll.
[all shouting.]
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Whoa, no violence.
I'm just filling in for Sheriff Leland who took sick.
I got the one's that did it locked up in my jail but the trouble is-- What about our money? I don't know.
Those guys must have hid it.
But I get back to my jail, we're gonna see if we can't find out.
I just thought I'd let you know.
[men clamoring.]
I think these cowboys need our help.
I'm gonna go down to the radio station.
All right.
Go ahead.
To tell you that you're marvelous Too marvelous for words You're much Too much This is the old sidewinder saying don't sit side saddle unless you had that operation.
It's been a real pleasure sittin' a spell with y'all and talking to you.
Remember, Lennon Sisters is where it's at! Adios, amigos.
What are you trying to do? We're gonna have to rebate all the advertisers.
I thought it was a real stunning gig.
in Webster's Dictionary S' Hey, man, your friends are in trouble.
I think you should go and help them.
Wait a minute.
Pecos Bob Steel is history.
And so we're borrowing a love N' Hey.
Does this jail sound empty or am I nuts? Face? Why would they lock us up and then take off? Well, if I were them I'd go back over to The Floor 'Em and tell those guys that we stole their money.
It'd be a great diversion I mean, the Sheriff and the bad guys get away.
And we'd be faced with a mob of angry cowboys looking at us and throwing ropes over tree limbs.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
I think we better figure a way out of this jail, guys.
That's why we brought you along, Hannibal.
That's supposed be your job.
Ideas.
Okay.
The Hannibal Smith Idea Department is now open for suggestions.
That's not an idea, Hannibal.
[sighing.]
Well, guys I have an idea.
Set of lock picks.
Mmm-hmm.
Face.
Sometimes your sense of larceny is your most attractive trait.
I know.
[lock clicking.]
[men clamoring.]
Hey, open the door! Open the door! Doesn't sound like our fan club.
Come on, guys.
Face, see if there's a back door out of this joint.
Okay, boys, get that bench.
(Hannibal) Find anything? Oh, yeah, I found the real sheriff.
Dead.
Oh, man, they gonna think we killed him.
[sighing.]
This situation has some ragged edges.
Yeah.
Well, you'll come up with something.
I can't think with all this noise.
I think that we need a little diversion here.
Why don't we do something to help with it? Come on.
[men yelling.]
£Jâ[humming.]
Face usually does this.
It looks easy but Hold on, hold on.
I got a bobby.
A Oh.
[lock clicking.]
[grunts.]
See, a really honest man doesn't have an appetite for this sort of thing.
Yeah, but who needs honesty? [door creaking.]
Get a idea.
Idea.
Idea.
What do you think? [laughing.]
Not if you wanna get past those cowboys.
No way.
How about this? Mmm, it loses your eyes.
This is it.
Perfect fit, too.
Really? A bonnet! [men clamoring.]
Please, please.
One of the men inside is the father of my unborn child.
[sobbing.]
Look, lady, they stole our money and knocked over the bank.
And we're gonna hang them.
Oh, no, please, please, please.
He only stole the money because of the baby.
We had such wonderful plans for the child.
Because we all must learn to appreciate the Lennon Sisters.
I know, I know it's not right that he stole your money.
But I also know that if you allow me to go into the jail untouched, unharmed that I can convince him to give you back your money.
What if they won't? Well, if you hang them you'll never get your money back.
Oh, please, if you won't do it for me [sobbing.]
do it for my baby.
Okay, lady, you got five minutes.
Thank you.
Herbert.
Herbert, it's Cynthia.
Open up, darling.
We've got to talk.
Cynthia? Go away.
I can't.
Herbert, oh, Herbert, we've got to talk for the baby.
Baby? What that fool talking about? I don't know.
Let's open up and find out.
Oh, you handsome pile of trouble.
I didn't realize all that you did for little Herbert.
Man, are you the ugliest woman I ever seen! I think I'm gonna like the baby though.
I chose the Lamaze method of delivery.
Hold your breath and remember your exercises.
[gasps.]
Explosives.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Great, Murdock.
Great.
You know, Murdock, you look better to me as a woman than you do as a man.
Face, I don't have time for that sort of thing now.
Boy George is waiting behind the Sheriff's office.
We've gotta go.
Come on, man, let's mine these walls.
Watch.
Time's up! Come on, guys, let's go after them.
Tell me about that building you saw.
No, forget about that.
They said something about the airport.
B.
A.
, hit it right on the next dirt road.
This is great.
[chuckles.]
[alarm beeping.]
Totally awesome, Hannibal.
Hey, what's going on here? Here's your money.
These are the guys who took it.
Yeah, but I thought that-- Now, they killed the sheriff over at Twin Rivers.
This guy's no sheriff.
Run a make on him, you'll get a book and sheet 10 feet long.
I guess we owe you guys an apology, huh? What about me? I'm the one who lost the baby.
Oh-oh, they're at it again, Colonel.
Only this time they're singing No Place Like Home.
Great idea, Murdock.
Let's go.
Hey.
Hey, who are you guys? We're the A-Team.
Son of a gun.
So there.
[people cheering.]
(men) We want George! We want George! Neat crowd, huh.
Music lovers, all.
Reminds me of a lynch crowd I once saw.
[stammers.]
Now, Face, this is one you gonna have to explain to me.
I mean, you been trying to teach me how to be a rocko-socko agent but you haven't given me any inkling, not an inkling as to how you pulled this off.
Yeah, man, how come you don't owe Boy George his couple of million dollars? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyone can get Boy George to play a large auditorium.
How many guys do you know can get him to play to a crowd like this? (men) We want George! We want George! If I can have your attention here.
Please.
Let's have a big, warm welcome for the Culture Club.
[all cheering.]
[people whistling.]
And now, without further ado, the roughest, toughest cowpoke to ever ride the range Boy George! [band playing.]
Desert loving in your eyes all the way If I listen to your lies, would you say I'm a man without conviction I'm a man who doesn't know How to sell a contradiction You come and go You come and go Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon You come and go You come and go Loving would be easy If your colors were like my dream Red, gold and green Red, gold and green Didn't hear your wicked words every day And you used to be so sweet I heard you say That my love was an addiction When we cling our love is strong When you go you're gone forever You string along You string along Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon You come and go [crowd applauding.]
You come and go [Karma Chameleon by Culture Club playing.]
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
[birds chirping.]
[country music playing on radio.]
[man chattering on radio.]
Yeah, you see this whole thing is just a simple matter of economics.
I took couple of night courses last semester.
Boy, I wanna tell you what a difference that has made.
See, Murdock Murdock.
Creative accounting is just like any other applied art form, see? Understanding debits and credits.
Understanding where you can gain the edge by calling something an expense instead of a direct cost.
Now, this deal that I've set up at The Floor 'Em is a classic.
I mean, classic case in point.
Murdock, am I boring you, hmm? 'Cause I can stop, you know.
I'm just trying to tell you how you're gonna make a couple hundred grand.
That's all I'm trying to do.
Boy, I see what you mean, Face.
Yeah.
You weren't even listening.
You were sound asleep.
You just tried to explain to me how you was gonna cheat this guy at the roadhouse.
Not a roadhouse, Murdock.
It's an auditorium.
I am an artists' booking agent, right? Wrong.
You're a scam agent booking artists.
Same thing.
Now, look, my buddy at Peach Pear Management has told me that if I can guarantee him a full house he is gonna send me Ready? Cowboy George for a weekend gig.
Can you believe it? Cowboy George.
Who is Cowboy George? Am I hearing this right? Don't you listen to the radio? I don't need to.
I already got lots of pretty music inside my head.
Yeah.
The song Three Blind Mice sung by the Lennon Sisters is going through my head.
I need a change.
It's beginning to bug me.
Well, you're going to get your chance because tomorrow Cowboy George and the Range Rats are going to play at The Floor 'Em and they're going to make the A-Team $300,000 in profits.
Oh, we gonna cut a fat deal, huh, Face? Right.
Gonna guarantee the house, take 100% of the profits.
No house split.
That's important, see 'cause nightclub owner, they can beat you at the gate.
Boy, have I got this game down.
I'm so glad I took that night course.
[people chattering.]
Excuse me, boys, I'm How you doing? I'm looking for Chuck Danford.
We're closed.
Ah, listen, I'm Templeton Peck of Peach Pear Artists' Management.
Yeah, I believe I spoke with you the other day about my client.
It's Cowboy George and the Range Rats.
[exclaiming.]
No kiddin'.
How do, how do? How do? Chuck Danford.
Oh, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuckie.
Remmey St.
Starland here.
[chuckling.]
That's a funny name.
Thank you.
Made it up myself.
Well, when's old Cowboy George gonna bust on in here? Tomorrow.
Yeah, we at Peach Pear Management I tell you, we're real glad to get your call.
Yes, and I'm telling you Cowboy George is gonna fill this place up.
He better.
Yeah, of course I'm four-walling this deal on a minimum guarantee of $25,000.
That's against a guaranteed 100% of the house.
Now, you keep the overrides on all concessions with a 20% kickback to us.
I don't rightly understand a word you're saying, mister.
We talkin' Hollywood talk, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, Chuckie.
And he's using a stardust dialect.
What I'm saying here, Chuck is this is an envelope, see, with $20,000 in it.
That rents The Floor 'Em for a day.
I take the gate, and you get 80% of drinks and sandwiches.
Good.
That was the deal.
Why didn't you just say that? I did.
You guys work it out, okay? I'll prep the docs then we'll ink the pad and skyrocket out of here.
How about it? What's he sayin'? Oh, prepare the documents, sign the deal and leave.
Why didn't he say that? He did.
Ah, just a minute.
Yeah.
Uh, the boys on this pipeline are rough.
Ah.
Now, you don't give 'em Cowboy George they'll kill you.
Just you watch, Murdock, timing, good business sense with a little tricky accounting is gonna make us rich.
What now? Pickup Cowboy George.
He's comin' out on the plane from Phoenix.
Should be into the Dry Creek Airport in about 15 minutes? Right.
[birds chirping.]
Well, I guess you're right, Face I mean, as long as we can get that Cowboy George.
What do you mean, "As long as we get Cowboy George"? We got him, all right? Listen, my very good friend Dashiel Goldman represents him, okay? After all, I'm getting a 50-50 cut on this weekend gig.
You mean this guy is gonna give you this hot act just so that you can make all this money? Yeah, see, I helped him out with a little scrape he had with his ex-wife last year.
Yeah, anyway, the deal is done.
Don't worry.
Cowboy George is ours.
(Murdock) I don't see him.
Uh, Cowboy George? Yo, Cowboy George? Excuse me, I'm looking for Templeton Peck from Peach Pear Management.
ls that you? (Face) Uh, yeah, that's me.
I'm looking for Cowboy George.
Well, I'm almost him.
I'm Boy George.
Hi.
Dash Goldman sent me out to meet you here.
You picked up the guarantee on my contract.
We're heading for the last roundup.
What are you trying to say, man? [stammering.]
Wait a minute, see, I agreed to book Cowboy George Well, I'm Boy George and I agreed to play the Arizona Forum.
Forum? Oh, well, there is no Forum here.
I mean, this is a barn, it's a dance hall.
It's called The Floor 'Em.
Guys with broken noses, they drink there hit each other over the head with table legs It's not your-- But Dash Goldman told me you picked up my contract that you would guarantee me 60% of what I earned at my last gig which was at, you know, Madison Square Gardens.
Like $2 million, man.
Dash Goldman ducked and we took the bullet in the chest.
Uh, let me get this straight now.
I owe you 60% of $2 million.
Uh, uh Yeah, well, let's see, now, that's $1.
2 million.
That's right.
I mean, pay or play, man.
[stammers.]
I tell you what, let's go look at the place.
Let's go and look at the hall 'cause I wouldn't mind seeing what it's like, you know.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
[people chattering.]
You gotta be kiddin'.
They don't want no English rock star with eyeball glitter.
This is a tough crowd.
Look, I don't wanna hear from you, all right? You got your $20,000.
You're out of it.
It's not your problem, Chuck.
Now, look I wanted Cowboy George.
You said you'd deliver Cowboy George.
Now, I gotta fill this place, you understand? What do you care? I rented the hall.
Look, I got bigger problems, Chuck.
Okay? Now, get lost.
Okay, partner, let me say this so you hear [whimpering.]
I want Cowboy George.
I don't want no English glitter prince.
Now, Cowboy George shows up or you show up in a concrete bathrobe at the bottom of Frazier Dam.
Yeah, well, I Let him loose, Chuckie.
Besides inking pads and skying here and there I also like to blow holes in the heads of rednecks.
[chuckling.]
Excuse me.
I can't play this place because it's a certified toilet.
Toilet? Could we discuss this outside? Actually, I don't think it's so bad [door closing.]
We're in trouble.
Call Kurt in Twin Rivers and tell him we got a problem.
Kurt ain't gonna like it.
Armored car comes in tomorrow.
Look, it ain't my fault.
I called the management company I booked Cowboy George and some turkey in a sequined coat shows up.
Well, that's Boy George.
He's a big top 40 rock and roll star.
And he won't draw flies in this valley.
Now, get on the phone.
What do you mean, you've "got Boy George"? Just what I told you.
Dash Goldman stiffed me.
Well, he didn't stiff you.
Boy George is 100 times the act that Cowboy George is.
Yeah, well, let's just say that there are some contractual inadequacies that make this deal less than perfect, okay? Besides well, there's I think there's something going on down here.
I told you, this guy threatened to kill me.
What for? You rented his joint, you gave him $20,000.
My point, exactly.
I got Murdock following one of his henchmen.
[people chattering.]
Hey, Hannibal, why's Face out here spending our money? It ain't right.
Ever since he took that show business accounting course he's been in the fiscal twilight zone.
That Dash Golden dude I wouldn't let him hold my wallet if I had a gun trained on him.
Yeah, he's pretty slippery.
Face is trying to get something going between jobs.
And we all got our outside interests.
You got your daycare center, Murdock's got his psychosis, I got my acting.
Hannibal, you ain't no actor.
You don't find actors dressing up like lizards.
That's a very narrow interpretation, B.
A.
Boris Karloff wouldn't like it.
Now, imagine me with a wig and a hat.
How do I look? Pretty good.
Chuck wagon chili on a honey roll, son.
That's the turn off up there.
We got to meet Face at the Adobe Inn, Room 6.
[car honking I've Been Working on the Railroad.]
Oh, boy, am I glad you're here.
You look Hey, that's terrific.
How you doing, B.
A.
? Terrible, man.
Hannibal tells me you're out here wasting our money.
Well, I'm That's a very narrow interpretation of it.
Everybody keeps saying that but I'm still waiting for your explanation to what happened to our $20,000.
Well, let's not stand around outside.
Come on in.
(Face) Uh, George George, I'd like to introduce you to some very good friends of mine.
This is Hannibal Smith.
How do you do? Hi, how are you doing? And B.
A.
Baracus.
Hi.
This place is really American.
But I think the people will like us once they hear the music.
Boy George.
Wow.
How are you? [Murdock groaning.]
How you doing, Murdock? These Lennon Sisters they just won't stop singing in my head.
Will you cut it out, girls, and give this mice song some time off? What's he talking about, Face? Yeah, well, he's got a song stuck in his head.
Murdock will you tell Hannibal about the building, the guys with the machine guns? I followed this cowboy to a building about 10 miles out of town.
And they have M60s mounted on a jeep.
I couldn't overhear everything because these girls are making so much racket in my head.
Something's going on here, Hannibal.
I been running this thing around in my head and well, one thing's for sure.
They want Cowboy George to play at The Floor 'Em to draw in all those cowboys who've been out working on the pipeline.
You know, now for some reason, they don't think that Boy George here can draw the country-western audience.
That's why they're trying to kill me.
Why they need to fill that auditorium, I don't know.
Why don't we go on down to The Floor 'Em and tell Chuck Danford that Cowboy George has arrived.
Well, that's great, you guys, but I came here to sing.
Oh, you'll sing.
You'll be the opening act for me.
And while you're entertaining them we'll stick our nose into their business.
Whatever it is.
Yeah, well, I feel really bad about this because you guys have gotta give me $1.
2 million.
And I've seen that hall.
Five quid a head, you ain't gonna make it.
This is a bad deal.
(Hannibal and B.
A.
) Face.
Yeah, that was the kicker.
Yeah, but I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to explain our little contractual divot here.
Face, $1.
2 million is not a divot it is a crater.
All right, girls, girls, girls, be quiet.
The big kids are trying to talk here now.
See, he was so busy counting the money in his head he failed to read the fine print in the contract which said that acts could be substituted.
My copy of the contract was smudged.
Yeah, well, I just You know, when you do business with people there's a certain degree of trust that's involved in the deal.
Face, how could you trust a guy named Dash? You see, he owes me a little favor 'cause I helped him out with his ex-wife.
[growling.]
Yeah.
Look, it just never occurred to me that he'd knife me in the back on this thing.
This is terrible.
I mean, I hate to see you guys get stuck with this you know, but I think this Mr.
Goldman's a bit of a pirate.
You know, maybe we can work something out.
Well, George, George George, you really are one of the great ones.
Well, I'll talk to the rest of the guys and maybe we can cut the guarantee in half or something.
Half? Half.
$600,000? Ah, gee, that's very generous of you, George.
But, you see, to be perfectly frank, I mean we're not gonna be able to come up with that.
You know, we'd need a huge auditorium.
We could do an outside concert, you know.
We can advertise on the TV.
We can pull this off.
I can do the radio gig.
I'm primed for the airwaves.
I can do it, guys.
Really, I can.
I don't know.
This valley, you know, it may not be keyed to your audience demographics, George.
Nonsense.
Everybody likes Culture Club.
Hey, Face, he's right.
They're great.
Well, it's time to go down to The Floor 'Em and have Cowboy George lay his card on the bar.
[birds chirping.]
Got some warm beer and some stale pretzels in this dump? Son of a gun you did show.
I was beginnin' to believe that bookin' agent of yours was tryin' to pull a fast one.
Better put the amps and the heavy stuff on the stage.
Cowboy George in the flesh.
I just can't believe it.
You gonna get their blood pumpin'.
And you must be that scuzzbucket they call Chuck Danford.
Hey, now take it easy.
Be nice.
Mighty tough on my man, Temp Peck.
Yeah, well I'll apologize, because of you.
Where is he? He's over at the radio station.
Getting the ad campaign ready.
(Herm) When we talked on the phone you said that there would be a guest DJ from Los Angeles.
N[music playing.]
Now I held the spot open because you said it would be somebody on this list.
(Face) Right.
Right, I know.
I know.
But, you see, that was before I was in Phoenix and I found out that Pecos Bob Steel was available.
That man has won the Country Mike Award, three years running.
Four.
I was runner up in 1980.
But I lost to Spinnin' Jack Spiner on Country 109.
But I never should've lost to Spiner 'cause he's nothing but a Chiquita banana with a straw hat.
And I think he bought it.
But then, hey, how could you ever prove it? Yeah, right.
So we're pretty lucky to get Pecos Bob here to do this little afternoon guest stint.
Uh, could you do a little fast rap for me, please? Now you're cookin' the beef and rollin' the leaf with the real Bob Steel where yours truly, the caped crusader of sound, gonna make it all happen.
I wanna take it to the border That's fine.
where Kenny and Dolly are gonna light up the night with their new country rendition of Badlands right here on the night beacon of sound K-GAB Radio.
That's fine, Bobby.
The last stand for country music here in this country where the old sidewinder himself, Pecos Bob Steel Three blind mice is lookin' for a love song.
(both) See how they run (both) They all ran after the farmer's wife She cut off their tails with a carving knife Never seen such a sight in your life As three blind mice I shouldn't have done this.
They're not going to stop now.
They're not going to stop now.
Okay, just be quiet.
So, Herm What do you say? When can he start? Now he's gotta do a few promos for the Cowboy George concert down at The Floor 'Em.
Fine, the next shift is in four minutes.
Stop, girls.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
He's just fooling around.
You know, don't worry, it's You know these DJs.
They're just a bunch of crazy, funny guys.
This is Bill Sutter from Sutter Feed and Grain saying, "Thanks, neighbors and adios.
" I gotta get back to the store.
Okay, well, see you tomorrow, Bill.
You got the drift of the board, Bob, there? Uh, right, right.
Uh, Herm Herm, there's a little gig I do with the Lennon Sisters.
You wouldn't, by any chance, have one of their albums round here, would you? Oh, well, I got a copy of their Too Marvelous For Words album over there but I think you better stick with C & W Top 40-- Oh, right, right.
Herm, thanks, we're fine.
I think we got it.
Everything's gonna turn out real good.
You're all right? Yeah.
Murdock, don't.
I repeat, do not play the Lennon Sisters.
I'm in deep trouble here.
You know, I got to fill that hall.
In fact, I got to overfill that hall.
See, I'm thinking if I can set up three or four shows maybe I can dig us out of this ditch.
Why don't you trust the old sidewinder here? Turn on your radio and just get out of here.
Let the Prince of Platters do his tricks.
Come on.
Come on.
Don't forget the commercials, okay? Boy George followed by Cowboy George.
Get out of here.
[imitating gun firing.]
Out of the west and into your living room this is the old sidewinder himself [smashing.]
Pecos Bob Steel ambushing you with the biggest hits on record.
Now, buckle your seatbelts 'cause this stagecoach is a-rolling with your favorite sounds.
Out of the past, the Lennon Sisters singing the title song from their hit album Too Marvelous For Words.
Too Marvelous For Words.
You're just too marvelous Too marvelous This is the old diamondback, Pecos Bob Steel laying the wax and spinning the sounds for you on KGAB, K-GAB radio.
Hey, how about a change of pace? Something out of the past, an oldie but a goodie.
Something from the Lennon Sisters and their hit album, Too Marvelous For Words this is Mr.
Clarinet Man.
But before we travel down those tracks, partners let me remind you about the great double bill that we have tonight at The Floor 'Em.
It's gonna be the two Georges in concert, mixing and matching their sounds.
First, it will be Boy George and the Culture Club and then it will be Cowboy George and the Range Rats.
So, y'all show up and tell them that Pecos Bob engraved your invitation right here on KGAB, K-GAB radio.
Now oh, let's hear it, girls let's hear it.
[Mr Clarinet Man playing.]
[people chattering.]
They're comin' in.
Get rollin'.
[phone ringing.]
Floor 'Em.
Let me speak to Cowboy George.
Cowboy George.
Telephone.
Thanks.
Howdy.
This is Cowboy George.
Hey, man, it's going down.
They're headed toward Twin Rivers.
Gotcha.
And now, straight from George you're gonna have to go on and stay on.
I may not make it back.
You're supposed to be bailing me out of this.
I mean, this is not my kind of crowd.
And I will if I can.
[people cheering.]
I'll give you a great intro.
Well, I'll go on.
But these people are in for a surprise.
[people whooping.]
Really cool.
I hear you been out in the wilderness for about three months laying a pipeline and we aim to entertain you.
So, you just sit back and relax.
'Cause opening for me tonight is one of the great acts, not just in show business but of the world.
Boy George and the Culture Club! [crowd booing.]
Well, all yours.
You could always throw them some raw meat.
[chuckling.]
Good luck.
[band playing.]
Woman, thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you [crowd booing.]
What we have is something special Something quite unique What we have should last forever Heaven at my feet I would give the world to you, girl Or anything you need There is nothing I won't do Just promise that you'll never leave God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me (Boy George) In this world you are my pleasure No one can compete Happiness is hard to measure Woman, you're so sweet I would give my heart to you Open the door! You're the air I breathe This is a country-western station.
I'm gonna call the police! There is nothing I won't do Just promise that you'll never leave God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me (Boy George) I' When I'm alone at night I' Okay, we're in position, B.
A.
I think of love What's going on? It's a bank, Hannibal.
The armored car is there.
They got the guards tied up in the back.
They wanted those cowboys out of town so they could rob the oil company payroll.
And I don't blame them.
Those are tough guys.
Won't you call me If you need me Okay.
Won't you call me Mind your end of the street.
If you need me When they come down this way we'll catch them in the crossfire.
Won't you call me Got it? (B.
A.
) Got it, Hannibal.
If you need me I have loved God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman For the joy that you give to me I would give the world to you, girl [yelling.]
Or anything you need Oh, God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me God thank you, woman Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me We give up! We give up! Oh, baby You got a light, Butch? I get cranky when my cigar ain't lit.
Thank you, thank you For the joy that you give to me These boys are gonna need a little bit of a checkup.
Been hit on the head is all.
Okay, roll them out.
What are you gonna do with all the money? Well, won't you come on inside with me? [engine starts.]
(Murdock) That was the Lennon Sisters singing Fool for Love.
(Herm) Open the door! Open the door! Just want y'all to know that the switchboard here has been fighting up [radio switches off.]
Got couple deputies in back can help us with all this.
Hey, boys, y'all wanna come on out here? [guns cocking.]
Oh.
Y'all are under arrest for attempted bank robbery.
Get them up high.
Book these outlaws.
I hate it when I don't spot a phony.
[chuckling.]
Butch, show these men the nice rooms we got for them.
Now, don't get cocky, Butch.
We could chew a hole in the wall and come get you.
I won't hold my breath.
What's going on, Hannibal? One thing's for sure.
That sheriff is not a real sheriff.
So, where's the real sheriff? That's a good question.
I got another one.
What next? [people cheering.]
[band playing.]
[humming.]
Spirit changed the conversation Stepping stones across the land I never wanted to be a hero I never wanted to be a man I hurt you, darling I made you cry I hurt you, darling Don't ask me why Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd hold your hand Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd understand If I could say this was judgment day ' You know I'd be a millionaire I'm prepared to wear my sorrow Everywhere we go in town Ain't no need to beg or borrow While you're there to drag me down I hurt you, darling I made you cry I hurt you, darling Don't ask me why Oh, yeah Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd hold your hand Move, move, move away from me, darling I never said I'd understand If I could say this was judgment day You know I'd be a millionaire Yeah, yeah [whispers.]
Justice right.
Move away I need you so I can't let go Gotta go on stage and make an announcement.
What's up? I got the money.
Now we gotta buy a little time.
I hurt you, darling I made you cry Hold it, hold it! Hold it, now.
I hurt you, darling [all yelling.]
(Kurt) May I have your attention, please? I'm temporary Sheriff Miller, from down at Twin Rivers.
Now, I know most of you men have been working on the pipeline and you're waiting around for your pay.
[all cheering.]
I got some bad news for you.
The armored car was hit and they got your payroll.
[all shouting.]
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
Whoa, no violence.
I'm just filling in for Sheriff Leland who took sick.
I got the one's that did it locked up in my jail but the trouble is-- What about our money? I don't know.
Those guys must have hid it.
But I get back to my jail, we're gonna see if we can't find out.
I just thought I'd let you know.
[men clamoring.]
I think these cowboys need our help.
I'm gonna go down to the radio station.
All right.
Go ahead.
To tell you that you're marvelous Too marvelous for words You're much Too much This is the old sidewinder saying don't sit side saddle unless you had that operation.
It's been a real pleasure sittin' a spell with y'all and talking to you.
Remember, Lennon Sisters is where it's at! Adios, amigos.
What are you trying to do? We're gonna have to rebate all the advertisers.
I thought it was a real stunning gig.
in Webster's Dictionary S' Hey, man, your friends are in trouble.
I think you should go and help them.
Wait a minute.
Pecos Bob Steel is history.
And so we're borrowing a love N' Hey.
Does this jail sound empty or am I nuts? Face? Why would they lock us up and then take off? Well, if I were them I'd go back over to The Floor 'Em and tell those guys that we stole their money.
It'd be a great diversion I mean, the Sheriff and the bad guys get away.
And we'd be faced with a mob of angry cowboys looking at us and throwing ropes over tree limbs.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
I think we better figure a way out of this jail, guys.
That's why we brought you along, Hannibal.
That's supposed be your job.
Ideas.
Okay.
The Hannibal Smith Idea Department is now open for suggestions.
That's not an idea, Hannibal.
[sighing.]
Well, guys I have an idea.
Set of lock picks.
Mmm-hmm.
Face.
Sometimes your sense of larceny is your most attractive trait.
I know.
[lock clicking.]
[men clamoring.]
Hey, open the door! Open the door! Doesn't sound like our fan club.
Come on, guys.
Face, see if there's a back door out of this joint.
Okay, boys, get that bench.
(Hannibal) Find anything? Oh, yeah, I found the real sheriff.
Dead.
Oh, man, they gonna think we killed him.
[sighing.]
This situation has some ragged edges.
Yeah.
Well, you'll come up with something.
I can't think with all this noise.
I think that we need a little diversion here.
Why don't we do something to help with it? Come on.
[men yelling.]
£Jâ[humming.]
Face usually does this.
It looks easy but Hold on, hold on.
I got a bobby.
A Oh.
[lock clicking.]
[grunts.]
See, a really honest man doesn't have an appetite for this sort of thing.
Yeah, but who needs honesty? [door creaking.]
Get a idea.
Idea.
Idea.
What do you think? [laughing.]
Not if you wanna get past those cowboys.
No way.
How about this? Mmm, it loses your eyes.
This is it.
Perfect fit, too.
Really? A bonnet! [men clamoring.]
Please, please.
One of the men inside is the father of my unborn child.
[sobbing.]
Look, lady, they stole our money and knocked over the bank.
And we're gonna hang them.
Oh, no, please, please, please.
He only stole the money because of the baby.
We had such wonderful plans for the child.
Because we all must learn to appreciate the Lennon Sisters.
I know, I know it's not right that he stole your money.
But I also know that if you allow me to go into the jail untouched, unharmed that I can convince him to give you back your money.
What if they won't? Well, if you hang them you'll never get your money back.
Oh, please, if you won't do it for me [sobbing.]
do it for my baby.
Okay, lady, you got five minutes.
Thank you.
Herbert.
Herbert, it's Cynthia.
Open up, darling.
We've got to talk.
Cynthia? Go away.
I can't.
Herbert, oh, Herbert, we've got to talk for the baby.
Baby? What that fool talking about? I don't know.
Let's open up and find out.
Oh, you handsome pile of trouble.
I didn't realize all that you did for little Herbert.
Man, are you the ugliest woman I ever seen! I think I'm gonna like the baby though.
I chose the Lamaze method of delivery.
Hold your breath and remember your exercises.
[gasps.]
Explosives.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Great, Murdock.
Great.
You know, Murdock, you look better to me as a woman than you do as a man.
Face, I don't have time for that sort of thing now.
Boy George is waiting behind the Sheriff's office.
We've gotta go.
Come on, man, let's mine these walls.
Watch.
Time's up! Come on, guys, let's go after them.
Tell me about that building you saw.
No, forget about that.
They said something about the airport.
B.
A.
, hit it right on the next dirt road.
This is great.
[chuckles.]
[alarm beeping.]
Totally awesome, Hannibal.
Hey, what's going on here? Here's your money.
These are the guys who took it.
Yeah, but I thought that-- Now, they killed the sheriff over at Twin Rivers.
This guy's no sheriff.
Run a make on him, you'll get a book and sheet 10 feet long.
I guess we owe you guys an apology, huh? What about me? I'm the one who lost the baby.
Oh-oh, they're at it again, Colonel.
Only this time they're singing No Place Like Home.
Great idea, Murdock.
Let's go.
Hey.
Hey, who are you guys? We're the A-Team.
Son of a gun.
So there.
[people cheering.]
(men) We want George! We want George! Neat crowd, huh.
Music lovers, all.
Reminds me of a lynch crowd I once saw.
[stammers.]
Now, Face, this is one you gonna have to explain to me.
I mean, you been trying to teach me how to be a rocko-socko agent but you haven't given me any inkling, not an inkling as to how you pulled this off.
Yeah, man, how come you don't owe Boy George his couple of million dollars? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyone can get Boy George to play a large auditorium.
How many guys do you know can get him to play to a crowd like this? (men) We want George! We want George! If I can have your attention here.
Please.
Let's have a big, warm welcome for the Culture Club.
[all cheering.]
[people whistling.]
And now, without further ado, the roughest, toughest cowpoke to ever ride the range Boy George! [band playing.]
Desert loving in your eyes all the way If I listen to your lies, would you say I'm a man without conviction I'm a man who doesn't know How to sell a contradiction You come and go You come and go Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon You come and go You come and go Loving would be easy If your colors were like my dream Red, gold and green Red, gold and green Didn't hear your wicked words every day And you used to be so sweet I heard you say That my love was an addiction When we cling our love is strong When you go you're gone forever You string along You string along Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon You come and go [crowd applauding.]
You come and go [Karma Chameleon by Culture Club playing.]