Bewitched (1964) s04e17 Episode Script

Aunt Clara.
Aunt Clara? - Aunt Hi.
- Oh, hello, Samantha.
- Oh, dear.
- Oh, my goodness.
Well, your landings are getting smoother all the time.
Yes, it was rather successful.
But your chef's hat could use a little fluffing up.
Chef's hat? What chef's hat? - Oh, my chef's hat.
- Yes.
That's why I'm here.
I've come from the Annual Witches Cookout.
How exciting.
I made my favourite recipe sautéed pussy willow amandine.
- I'm partial to nuts.
- That sounds divine.
Did you win? No.
As a matter of fact, I was disqualified.
Taste this, dear.
Well, now, Aunt Clara, winning isn't everything.
Well, no wonder you were disqualified.
This is fudge.
Fudge? Oh, I really must straighten out my recipe book.
Yes, you'd better do that.
Now, you just relax.
- We can chat while I paint the house.
- Yes.
- Paint the house? - Oh, well, I'm just touching up the trim.
- By yourself? - Why not? Wouldn't it be simpler just to wave on a coat or two? I'm enjoying myself.
The other way isn't nearly as much fun.
Samantha you know, I think you're almost as confused as I am.
- Excuse me, Aunt Clara.
I'll get it.
- Of course.
Oh, my.
She does need help.
Colours harsh and colours mellow Kumquat orange and lemon yellow Turpentine and a brush of sable Send to me a painter able That was faster than the yellow pages.
What is the meaning of this? I was in the middle of painting a portrait.
Oh, Samantha.
Samantha.
The painter's here.
It was only a magazine salesman Aunt Clara.
I'm almost afraid to ask but who is this? I am Leonardo da Vinci, naturally.
Naturally.
Aunt Clara, we have Leonardo da Vinci in our kitchen.
Now, you have to send him back before Darrin finds out.
Certainly, dear, as soon as he paints the house.
- Aunt Clara.
- Very well.
If you insist.
I do.
Colours harsh and colours mellow Rhubarb red, eggplant purple No.
No, that's not it.
Zucchini green? Well, don't ask me, Aunt Clara.
It's not my spell.
Help.
Help.
Help.
Come on.
I'm being attacked.
Help.
Help.
Let go.
Let go.
Let go.
Leonardo, are you all right? - This is a man-eating contraption.
- No.
This is probably the work of some jealous artist.
Aunt Clara, I think Leonardo's gonna be here for quite a while.
I ought to get him one of Darrin's suits so he doesn't look so conspicuous.
Yes, of course.
Oh, Samantha always does it the hard way.
Now, let me see.
Skin of a lizard Fur of varmint Put da Vinci in Darrin's garment Yes, Larry? Darrin, Mr.
Pritchfield and I will be right in to discuss the Mintbrite Toothpaste campaign.
- Oh, no, don't.
- What? Well, I'm not ready yet, Larry.
Well, we'll tak e a look at what you've got.
No.
Larry? Larry? Larry? - Right this way, J.
P.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, let's see what our young genius has come up with.
- Yes.
- Darrin? Darrin.
Darrin.
Well That certainly is a colourful outfit.
Headed for a love-in? Actually, Larry, I'd like to explain what this is all about.
Oh, we'd like you to.
- What I had in mind - Now, wait.
Stop the music.
Hold it.
Before you tell me let me tell you.
Okay? - Okay.
- Shall I tell him, Stephens? - Sure, let's not make him guess.
Alrighty.
Now, then, the outfit.
Renaissance painter, right? Right.
So far.
But who? Leonardo da Vinci, right? Right.
You have a remarkable depth of perception, Mr.
Pritchfield.
Well, thank you.
- Tate, are you with it yet? - No.
But you two are having such a good time, I'll just watch for a while.
- Oh, now, don't tell me.
- Don't worry.
Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, right? Right.
So we use Mona Lisa's smile with Mintbrite Toothpaste, right? Wrong.
- Stephens, I like it.
- Stephens, he likes it.
But, Larry, I have some other ideas I'd like to mention.
Darrin, we don't wanna hear any other ideas, you son of a gun.
Well, J.
P.
, now that you've got the message, how about a little huddle with the Art Department, huh? - Well, great.
Great.
Good work, Darrin.
You're a million surprises.
At least.
Now that you made your point I suppose you'll want to change back into the old grey flannel.
Sure thing, Lar.
We'll meet you here after we've worked out an approach at the Art Department.
- Yes, yes.
- Mr.
Stephens? - Yes.
The doors don't seem to close.
Could you pull your cape in a little? Sure.
Sam! Samantha! What are you doing home so early? And why are you wearing that ridiculous? Don't you know? It's my hobby.
- Dressing like famous men.
- Oh, dear.
Well, I can fix that.
Do you want to tell me or do I guess? Aunt Clara? Endora? Uncle Arthur? Well, sweetheart, Aunt Clara did drop in.
She was only trying to help.
- It's kind of hard to explain.
- Try.
Well, she wanted to get someone to help me paint the house.
Well, she just made one teeny little mistake voilà, Leonardo da Vinci.
You're not gonna tell me that Leonardo da Vinci is here in our house? - Okay, I won't.
- But he is.
- Well - Isn't he? Tell me.
Now, Darrin, make up your mind.
Do you wanna know or don't you? I can't believe it.
It is kind of hard, isn't it? Where is he? He's in the living room with Aunt Clara.
- But she's gonna send him right back.
- Good.
Soon as she remembers how.
Great.
That brings us to the P's.
With the P's, I invented the parachute the pump, the power saw and prefabricated houses.
Before you leave the P's, let's discuss painting the house.
Sam, if it was so easy to get me out of his clothes why can't you get him out of here? Well, sweetheart, switching your clothes is one thing but to return Leonardo to another century well, that's a much bigger thing.
That's impossible.
And Aunt Clara did it, and she's the only one who can undo it.
Right.
Oh, you do understand, don't you, sweetheart? Yes, I think I do understand.
That's what worries me.
Come on and meet Leonardo, sweetheart.
Wait till you hear all the things he's invented.
Aunt Clara.
- Aunt Clara.
- Yes.
Where's Leonardo? - What? - Leonardo.
Where's Leonardo? Well Oh, it was Oh, my stars.
Sweetheart, you check out back.
- No luck? - No luck? Oh, honey.
Now, don't worry.
We'll find him.
Did he invent the straitjacket? I think I'm gonna need one.
Oh, sweetheart.
But of course.
I'm beginning to forget my own inventions.
There's one thing we all have to agree on.
If the police pick him up, we never heard of him.
No matter what he says, we never heard of him.
They'll think he's crazy, lock him up.
That'll be the end of it.
Why, Darrin, we can't do that to Leonardo.
- Darrin? - Yeah, I guess not.
- Sweetheart, I'm sure we can find him.
- Please hurry.
Larry expects me back for a meeting with Mr.
Pritchfield.
Oh, no.
Aunt Clara, you check the park.
The park? Oh, the park.
Of course, yes.
It's so lovely this time of year.
Sweetheart, I'll check all the museums.
Now, don't worry.
We'll find him.
- Okay.
You ready? - Yeah.
Hang on.
Hang on.
And now, if you'll be so kind as to follow me we shall have a view of the finest of modern sculpture.
Now, here we have What do we have here? Here we have the work of Jackson Pride.
One of the finest of our living sculptors.
It's called Man in Motion.
- It was commissioned last year.
- When does the work begin? Begin? It's finished.
My friend, this is nothing but a block of stone, like your head.
Sir, this is a finished work of art.
And it is priceless.
Now, would you follow me, please? I will show these frauds what a man in motion really is.
Excuse me.
Do you have permission from the curator to work here? He wouldn't.
Can't you see this is an errand of mercy? I am breathing life into this stone.
I don't care if you're giving it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
He did.
All right, I've dealt with you hippies before.
- Excuse me.
- Me, a hippie? How dare you call me that.
Samantha, you have arrived just in time.
I have been insulted.
He called me a hippie.
What is a hippie? Lady, are you responsible for this dodo? What did the dodo do? - I mean, what did he do? - Do? He ruined this statue.
Don't you think you ought to do something about this crowd? Oh, yeah.
All right, everybody.
Let's move along.
All right.
Move along.
Leonardo.
Leonardo.
Hebus, herbus, lightning storm Restore this stone to original form All right, we're all going to the curator's office The statue.
I don't understand it.
Well, that's modern art for you.
Come on, Leonardo.
Darrin's gonna be wondering where we are.
So this is the way they travel in the 20th century.
It's delightful.
Of course, it makes my aeroplane obsolete but I should have thought of this sooner or later.
Good.
You found him.
Get rid of him.
Darrin.
This is Leonardo da Vinci.
Delighted to meet you.
It's a great honour to meet you, Mr.
Da Vinci.
Thank you.
How's Michelangelo? Michelangelo? That charlatan? He painted over the cracks on an old ceiling.
Big deal.
Fascinating, isn't he? Honey, don't you think we ought to try and find Aunt Clara.
Oh, dear, she's still in the park.
- In the park? - Yes.
You'd better find her, and fast.
Larry and Mr.
Pritchfield are on their way here.
- I couldn't stop them.
- Well, all right, sweetheart.
I'll hurry.
It's them.
This looks interesting.
Sweetheart, I'll answer the door while you pull yourself together.
- Oh, hi, Sam.
- Hi, Larry.
- J.
P.
Pritchfield.
Samantha Stephens.
- Well, how do you do, Mrs.
Stephens? - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Where's the genius? - Yeah.
- Genius? - Here he is.
- Hello, Stephens.
- Mr.
Pritchfield.
Darrin, wait till you see what we've done with your Mona Lisa.
- Darrin's Mona Lisa? - J.
P.
Really deserves all the credit.
Well, sometimes you have a feel for these things.
Oh, Larry, can I fix you and Mr.
Pritchfield a drink? No, thanks, Sam.
We're anxious to show Darrin the artwork.
Oh, I'm sorry we don't have a drum roll but - There we go.
- Here it goes.
Well, what do you think of our little lady, Mrs.
Stephens? Why, it's terrible.
- Ly clever and inspired.
I mean what an idea.
And what do you think of my little improvement on the smile, Stephens? Well I think maybe it's the teeth that bother me.
We are trying to sell toothpaste.
Yes, but you don't tamper with a great work of art.
It's in bad taste.
Now, people don't go around distorting great works of art.
Be the first, start a fashion.
Stephens, I like it.
Well, I don't.
- Using the Mona Lisa was my idea.
- Oh, that's good.
Yes, you bet it's good.
And I have every intention of going ahead with it as is.
With one little change.
- Yes, sir, what's that? - Without McMann & Tate! You've lost a million-dollar contract.
J.
P.
? When one member of the team stumbles you don't fire the coach.
- In my league, we do.
Sam, what are you doing? Just a little delaying tactic to try and figure out a way to keep your integrity and the Pritchfield account.
- I don't want the account.
Let them go.
- But, Darrin, that's not fair.
Witchcraft got you into this mess.
Now, maybe it can help get you out.
- Wait.
- Yes.
- A brilliant idea.
- Yes? That's what we need, a brilliant idea.
I think I've got it.
In our den is one of the greatest minds the world has ever known.
Leonardo.
Leonardo.
What do you think of this? My Mona Lisa.
What have these barbarians done to my Mona Lisa? This could only be the work of Michelangelo.
Well, no.
Leonardo, actually it's rather a complicated story.
You see, Darrin's client, Mr.
Pritchfield intends to use your painting to sell toothpaste.
And you approve of this? Of course we don't.
In fact, we want to get you to help us stop him.
I am ready.
Leonardo, all you have to do is come up with a brilliant idea for selling toothpaste.
That will save my Mona Lisa? Well, certainly.
Mr.
Pritchfield would forget all about her.
Then Leonardo will come to the rescue.
Now, Samantha, just a few drams of butterscotch, and it is finished.
Oh, Leonardo, the children are just gonna love this.
- Making any progress? - It's almost finished.
Oh, wait a minute.
Please.
Mr.
Pritchfield.
Larry.
I think Darrin ought to have a chance to tell you his real idea.
Well, where is Stephens? Oh, he'll be right back.
One more day with your outfit, Tate and I'll be ready for the laughing academy.
Now, sweetheart, don't be stubborn.
Darrin has an idea for a new toothpaste especially for children.
It's something that'll make it fun for children to brush their teeth.
Darrin, you've done enough.
- I don't think you - Quiet, Tate.
I'm always ready to look at a new idea.
Go ahead, dear, tell him.
To tell the truth, when you came into the office today I was about to announce a new product.
Tooth paint.
- Tooth paint? - Yes.
A chemist friend helped to develop it.
It's for the kids.
All they do is paint the different colours on their teeth, then rinse.
The biggest problem is getting the little tykes to brush.
Now, each colour is a different flavour.
There's cherry and lime and lemon and blueberry and grape.
- And butterscotch.
- That's the plaid one.
I'm sorry, Sam, Darrin but J.
P.
Is pretty much sold on this Mona Lisa thing.
Will you be quiet, Tate? I'd like to hear more.
Of course.
So would I.
J.
P.
, there comes a time in your business when you have to make a fresh start.
We've been selling Mintbrite Toothpaste for over three years and we've exhausted the originality.
But with this new product, we open up the kids market.
- It's a whole new breakthrough.
- I'm sold.
- And then the parents will follow.
- Okay, I'm sold.
- Larry? - Of course.
If J.
P.
's happy, I'm happy.
Well, good.
Then it's all settled.
You've got quite a husband here, Mrs.
Stephens.
Well, I must agree with you, Mr.
Pritchfield.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, I've gotta be getting on.
We'll meet on this tomorrow.
Stephens.
Mrs.
Stephens.
Mr.
Pritchfield.
Well, see you tomorrow, you son of a gun.
So long, Sam.
Bye, Larry.
Leonardo.
Leonardo, it worked.
Of course it worked.
Leonardo da Vinci is a genius.
I just talked to the contractor.
He'll be here a week from Tuesday to paint the house.
- I've got some good news for you too.
- I could use some of that.
Aunt Clara remembered the spell, and she's gonna send Leonardo back in a little while.
What do you mean, "in a little while"? Come on, I'll show you.
Aunt Clara made a deal with Leonardo.
Because he didn't paint the house, he has to paint her.
You possess an enigmatic smile.
Oh, really? Can't you hurry him up? Sweetheart, you can't rush a masterpiece like the Mona Clara.
Sorry.