Robot Chicken s04e17 Episode Script

[ thunder crashing .]
[ drilling, sawing .]
[ electricity crackling .]
lt's alive! [ laughing .]
[ cracks knuckles .]
[ playing piano .]
ANNOUNCER: Winner of the Palme D'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, Daniel Day-Lewis is, The Humping Robot.
From the moment l was engineered l knew l was a different kind of robot.
l don't care if l rust.
l just want love.
ANNOUNCER: And Kate Winslet as, The Washing Machine.
l want to be honest with you Marianne, l didn't come here to do my laundry.
Well, what did you come for then? [ kissing .]
[ moaning .]
- Yes! - Oh darling! - Oh, yes, l'm Frank Logan! - Oh yes darling, oh yes! lt should be wrong but it feels so right.
l'm sorry it's medically impossible for a robot and a washing machine to have children.
[ crying .]
l--l-- No! ANNOUNCER: New York Times says Day-Lewis is a Tour de force.
Oh! ANNOUNCER: The Los Angeles Times raves The Humping Robot Thrusting into your face this summer.
[ rattling .]
[ honks .]
Adventure Adventure Venture Action Excitement Venture ♪ Hearts race ♪ ♪ Palms sweat ♪ Might explode Adventure Such sites, you have never seen Wonderment, and magic Even if imaginations could not comprehend it Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Adventure Hey man, what you in for? John, this is Cameron.
Your new Terminator.
- Wow.
- She'll follow your commands.
Defend you from danger, and never, ever quit.
Understood mom, l'll take her on a test run to determine her full capabilities.
- [ laughing .]
- Video memory full.
What did you say? l said my vagina's bleeding.
Oh, oh.
Oh look everybody here comes cry baby, Johnny.
You want another wedgie cry-baby? Why don't you cry it off.
[ gibberish .]
Ah, ah! Ahhhh! Ah! You're so hot.
Just one last system to check out mom.
Hmm.
Yeah! Hmm! Oh! Just like a real girl.
- Say it! - Come with me if you want to live.
Yes! Yes! Oh! [ rattling .]
[ horn .]
[ sirens .]
CASHlER: Care to try a bonus meal? No! [ slurring .]
Why ask that as if you could influence my decision? Right before l order? CASHlER: What would you like, sir? [ slurring .]
Yes, l'll have a small Sprite and-- CASHlER: Could you repeat that l'm getting a hissing noise.
[ hissing .]
l said, l'll have a small Sprite and-- CASHlER: Could you speak more clearly sir? Uhh! Tell him l want seven, supersized special sandwiches.
With sweet and sour sauce.
[ slurring .]
You're all doing this on purpose! l'll have a hamburger.
Thank you, Sebastian.
- [ whispering .]
- Oh, with a strawberry shake.
Argh! [ horn beeps .]
Ready to talk Mockingbird? Ready to talk Mockingbird? Dah! l should have seen that coming.
Scout! See if the coast is clear.
Coast is clear Finch.
Good.
'Cause l'm about to kill a Mockingbird.
Uh! Uhh! Jim! Jim! Use your gem stones! Ahh! BOTH: Yeah! And that's my book report on how to Kill a Mockingbird by Lee Harper Oswald or whoever.
Couldn't even spring for the Cliffs Notes, huh? Smiles everyone, smile.
Our guest are here to have their fantasies come true.
l trust your flight was enjoyable.
Yeah! lt was great.
Uhm, enough with the chit-chat though when do l get to fuck a donkey? l-- l-- beg your pardon? When do l get to fuck a donkey? Surely you have another fantasy you'd like to-- No, no, you gonna make it happen or am l gonna kick your ass? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- My fantasy is to kick his ass.
- What? Yeah, l want to beat the mother fucking shit out of your foreign ass head.
That's my fantasy.
- No, no, no, no.
Your fantasies are suppose to involve an-- an identical twin or a family member brought back to life for a day.
lmagine being the president of your own country.
Does that midget do anal? Sí, yes l do.
- Uhm, like hey, dad? - Yeah? l've got to ask you something like real personal.
Okay.
Do you douche? l sure do.
But only with Maximum Douche.
Why Maximum Douche? lt's the only douche for men, and it keeps my douche factor going all day long.
Talking 'bout the Maximum Douche Douche into the Maximum Don't settle for minimum douche You got to be the maximum douche Hey thanks, dad! Don't be a homo.
Maximum Douche, it puts being a douche in the bag.
[ gasp.]
Uh, where's my inhaler.
Saving inhaler.
[ horn .]
Man l wish l could visit the land of Oz.
That would be so cool.
So cool.
Actually it would be much cooler to visit a topless beach in France.
That would be so cool.
So cool.
[ French music .]
Hello French boobies! Oh dang it.
Put on these ruby slippers and follow the yellow brick road.
Uhm, you have any roads that go to topless beaches? Perhaps there are topless beaches at the Emerald City.
But, but probably not.
Can l tap these shoes together three times and wish to-- BOTH: go to a topless beach? No, the story don't work that way kid.
Here l am having an adventure in the land of Oz.
Yay.
Well, hiya.
My head is stuffed with straw.
Yeah, hi, that's pretty neat l guess.
What, this is my dream.
So if l want it to be super cool all l have to do is dream it.
Be super cool.
Be super cool.
Be super cool.
Be it.
l seek vengeance.
Yes! lf l only had a heart.
Take mine, its brought me nothing but pain.
Hang on, let me try something.
Be super cool.
Lets transform and roll out.
And stomp a mudhole in some Decepticon ass So hard that we won't stop until we're wearing socks made of dried shit.
Oh, yes! La, la, la, la, la, la, la Going a long with my friends [ roars .]
l'm just a big old coward-- Be super cool.
l am Lion-O, leader of the Thundercats.
Oh! Oh! [ laughs .]
Oh, l must have those ruby slippers.
Shh, chicks and shoes.
Am l right fellows? Ha? Flying monkeys, bring me the nerd and his pathetic friends.
Oh yeah! What the fuck?! Did someone order some ruby slippers? [ laughing .]
Ok fellas take it easy.
'Cause here's a special delivery.
ALL: Right up your ass! Get them! Thunder.
Thunder.
Thundercats! Hooo! Uh! Ohh! Can't quiet reach them.
Keep saying thunder.
Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder! [ laughing .]
Yeah! Thunder, thunder, thunder.
They're too fast.
Just transform.
Trust me.
[ laughing.]
Well that's just prime.
Your magically appearing trailer irritated fans of the cartoon, but now it's your greatest weapon.
Yeah! ln your grill.
From the left.
Ha ha ha, You'll never win.
lt doesn't matter, existence is nothing, but frustration and pain, everything you love eventually leaves you.
Misery is your only constant friend.
You're right.
[ squawk .]
Smash! [ laughs .]
Oh, come on now fellas.
Yeah, l was just playing around with that-- Kill them! Thing.
[ laughs .]
Lets just take it easy.
Well there's only two ways to kill a wicked witch and l don't see any falling farm houses around here.
[ laughing .]
WlTCH: Oh no! No,no! l'm melting.
Melting.
What a world.
There's only one way this dream could get even better.
ALL: French boobies! [ laughing .]
[ French music playing .]