What I Like About You (2002) s04e17 Episode Script

Val, come on! Let's go! No Vince.
The coast is clear.
Let's go! Come on! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm on the phone with the wedding coordinator.
Okay, sorry.
Yes, okay.
I will meet you downstairs in five minutes.
Let's go.
Move it.
Move it.
This is ridiculous.
You can't keep avoiding Vince.
I've been doing it for three days, and I'm excellent at it.
Well, you shouldn't be excellent at it, okay? You have to deal with this.
You have to say goodbye to him.
What are you afraid of -- you're gonna cry? No.
I'm afraid of him crying.
Now, let's go! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The coast is clear.
Come on, let's go! Shh! [ door slams .]
Hi, Vince.
A note? I'm moving to Chicago, and you couldn't say goodbye in person? I could, but Hallmark has a whole team of trained professionals.
Look, I have to go.
Lauren's treating us to a spa upstate for Val's wedding shower.
Have fun in Chicago with the Cubs and the great hot dogs and the wind.
Well, uh I guess this is goodbye.
I guess so.
[ sighs .]
Bye, Vince.
Bye, Holly.
[ sniffling .]
Gary, were you listening to our conversation? [ voice breaking .]
: No.
What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you, you, you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about Uh-huh Uh-huh It's what I like about you Wait.
My God, Lauren, how many bags do you have? And why do they smell like Fritos? [ sniffs .]
Well, I packed a few snacks.
Mm-hmm.
I know how these health spas work.
They get you all calm and relaxed, and then all you get to eat is stuff that makes you poop.
Before you go, Val, I'm gonna need a decision on the cake.
Oh, no, no, no.
I have turned all decisions over to my wedding coordinator and the man who, tomorrow, will be my husband.
Oh, listen to you, going with the flow.
Flowing with the go, and I'm leaving.
Okay, come on, ladies.
Bye.
Okay, Vic, the cake -- milk chocolate with raspberry or dark chocolate? Chocolate? - Oh, boy.
- Oh, boy.
Um, well, you know, it's just -- it's a wedding cake.
Isn't it traditional to do it off-white buttercream? Val, if it isn't chocolate, how are they going to know it's Darth Vader? Darth? W-what's that? He's Luke's father, baby.
Yeah, I know who he is.
W-what is he doing at my wedding? Val, I told you, when we had this last-minute cancellation it's too late to the change the theme of the previous wedding -- "Star Wars.
" Hey, no, no.
You said "stars.
" Yeah, and then I pictured all the pretty twinkling lights, and then I was so excited that we got the room, and I started jumping and screaming and -- Missed the part when I said "wars.
" Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
[ clears throat .]
How much is it gonna cost to change this? Considering the wedding is tomorrow, we'd have to get a crew to work around the clock on a Saturday.
I'd have to say a small fortune.
Then I'd have to say "Star Wars" is awesome, huh? [ imitating Yoda .]
Hmm, lucky are we.
Uh, Vic, we -- we can't.
"Star Wars"? Honey, I know it's not how you pictured it, but nothing about our relationship is how you pictured it.
It's just that you just get married once, you know? Ha.
You don't.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
Look, come on, sweetie.
This is all superficial stuff.
This wedding is about us, okay? You and me -- that's all I see.
All right? Your face and your eyes, your lips.
My neck.
Your neck.
Oh.
Oh.
Okay, okay, okay.
You know, we got married by Elvis the first time, so what the hell? Why not Spock? Spock was on "Star Trek.
" Bup-bup-bup! So, it's a go, Val, right? So, let's go, Val.
Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
[ chuckles .]
Bye.
Okay, this is so cool! Thanks.
You know what I love, Tina? Everybody doing everything for me.
Wow.
Vince just left for Chicago, and you're all peaceful and happy.
It's weird.
Well, Vince is moving, he's got a new job, new life.
So I have to get up, and dust myself off and keep on, keep on! - Hey, Holly? - Hmm? Don't do that.
Okay.
Wow.
You seem really calm, considering.
Hmm.
Well, I'm at a spa, wearing a comfy robe, smelling lavender, sipping ginger tea.
What's not to be calm about? The fact that there are gonna be androids passing out hors d'oeuvres at your wedding tomorrow? Well, when you think about it, there is something inherently romantic about science fiction.
So, did you guys see all the treatments they have? Salt scrubs, facials.
Ooh, look at this one.
They whack you with giant eucalyptus leaves.
Lauren, can I do that one? Hey, it's all-inclusive, okay? Get everything whacked.
When you've selected your treatments, I'll just apply them to the credit card on file.
What? [ chuckling .]
Excuse me.
Spa lady -- Harmony -- what was that about applying what to my what? The treatments.
No, see, we are on the all-inclusive plan.
Yes.
That includes the room, unlimited use of our hiking trails and meditation spaces, and every day, you get a plum.
So I have to pay extra for all the whacking and the salts? The plum is free.
Crap.
Oh, thank God I brought you, sweet lover! Do I smell chocolate? No.
It's a Twix.
[ sniffs .]
No, Snickers.
You are good.
Give me a bite.
No! I'll give you 20 bucks for the rest of that bar.
Make it 30 bucks, and you got yourself a deal.
Hey.
Are there others like you? Everywhere.
Mmm.
Ooh, this pineapple-coconut lotion smells so nice, I could eat my own arm.
Where's my bracelet? What bracelet? The one that Vince gave me -- it was on my wrist.
I'm sure you took it off when you changed.
Oh, yeah.
It's probably in my robe pocket.
[ chuckles .]
It is not in my robe pocket.
Where could I have put it? Move.
Ow.
Wait.
Where is it? I can't find it.
Oh, maybe it's in my sleeve.
Yeah, Holly, you're going kind of crazy over a little bracelet.
It is not a little bracelet.
Vince gave it to me.
It was a gift.
I want it back.
Okay, well, we'll get it back.
Just calm down, all right? Everybody needs to just stay calm.
It's easy for you to say.
It was my bracelet.
Honey, you know what? I came here to relax, to sort of unwind, release my tension.
Then sit on a hot rock.
I lost my bracelet.
Okay, so, you know what? I'll buy you a new one.
I don't want a new one.
I want that one.
Oh, really? Well, I'm sorry, but, sometimes, we don't get what we want in life.
Yeah, sometimes, we even get what we don't want, like a wedding in a galaxy far, far away.
Vince gave me that bracelet, and now he's gone! He was my baby! I'm gonna be cutting my wedding cake with a lightsaber! I'm so nervous to tell her I'm quitting.
Hey, man, since you're moving to Chicago tomorrow, I got a little something for you.
Oh, Gary, you didn't have to.
Bam! Gary, that's your favorite mug.
What are you gonna drink out of in the morning? Bam! You and me, baby.
Hey, Vin.
What's so important? [ clears throat .]
Um, Robyn, let me just start by saying you're incredible.
You taught me so much.
You gave me my start.
You've done so much for me.
But the thing is I want more.
Fantastic.
What are you doing? I want more, too.
Wait, wait, wait, Robyn, whoa.
I wanted you ever since the first day I met you.
I was just being a lady about it, so I waited till you two broke up.
Oh, my God.
Holly was right.
I can't believe you never got it.
I gave you every sign but maybe I was too subtle.
I'm quitting.
What? That's what I want to talk to you about.
Brown and Whitman offered me a job, and I took it.
You backstabbing jerk.
I made you! I taught you everything, and you used me to get ahead! Can't believe I didn't listen to Holly.
I can't believe I trusted you.
- God, I'm so stupid! - Yeah, you are.
And you know what would really make me mad? If you made out with me right now! What? Ah, it was worth a shot.
You tell your friends the first taste is free! Val, what are you doing? I can't get reception anywhere.
I got zero bars.
I have to call Vic and tell him the "Star Wars" wedding is off.
Val, wait.
Come on.
Everything's gonna be fine.
What? No, sister! Cash only.
You think I want a paper trail? Get out of here! Where did she go? She was right here! Please, you have to have an office phone.
I'm sorry, but here, we believe part of freeing your mind is freeing yourself of technology -- no phone, no radios, no computer.
You have to have a phone.
What if there's an emergency? What -- you send it out to the universe? Oh, God, you do.
Perhaps a peaceful ride on one of our gentle horses will calm your troubled mind.
Our trails go for miles.
Miles, as into a service area -- I mean, serving area? No, don't stop.
Come on.
Giddy up.
[ whistling .]
Please, Wildfire, come on, please.
I got zero bars.
I just need some reception.
Okay, you know what? I am gonna -- whoa! Okay.
I am gonna appeal to you woman to woman, all right? Yeah, we're good.
Would you want a "Star Wars" wedding? I mean, come on.
Say you and, uh, Seabiscuit got engaged, and you want a beautiful, romantic -- oh, God.
I'm talking to a horse.
I'm losing my mind.
What the hell is wrong with you? What are you doing here? Finding out what the hell is wrong with you.
You're canceling a wedding with a guy you're totally in love with because of the decorations? Don't you see how ridiculous that is? Yes, I do! Then why are you doing it? I don't know, okay? I don't know! Oh, Val.
I don't know, Lauren, okay? Maybe I am just not meant to be happy.
Well, who the hell told you that? What do you mean? The universe told me that -- that's who.
Every time something good comes my way, every time, there is a flaw.
Or do you look for a flaw? No, I did not look for a "Star Wars" wedding.
No, but you sure looked for a way to be miserable about it.
Did you ever think that maybe the universe is trying to send you a message with this whole "Star Wars" thing? Stop looking for the dark side, Miss Darth Vader.
Do I do that? I do do that.
Oh, God.
Why do I do that? Why do I always look for a problem? If you were doing it, I would say, "Lauren, what the hell is wrong with you? "Why are you being such an idiot? Why are you making yourself unhappy?" Oh, God.
I'm the idiot.
Oh.
It's not the universe making me unhappy -- it's me.
I'm making myself unhappy.
Oh, my God.
I don't think it's the first time I've done it.
Really? No.
I think I have been doing it my whole life.
Well, that's crazy.
Isn't it? The thing about it is, I don't have to do it.
I mean, I can choose to be happy.
It's so simple.
Oh, my God.
I lived my whole life like -- [ gasps .]
oh, no, Lauren, do you think I've made Holly this way? Oh, hell, no.
She is the exact opposite.
She acts happy when she's really sad.
Well, that's sick.
Yeah.
You're both totally screwed up.
Hey, now that I've cured you, maybe you should go pay it forward and help Holly.
Yes.
You are right.
That is what I should do.
You know what? This horseback-riding thing's been so enlightening, I think I'll take her for a ride.
Or, you know, maybe a nice free freeing hike.
Go.
Holly, I don't think you're gonna find your bracelet in the Zen Garden.
Harmony said I could find what I was looking for in here.
I think she meant enlightenment.
Ohh! It's not in there! Oh, I've looked everywhere.
It's gone.
I lost my "Vincelet.
" Yes, you did lose your bracelet.
Is there anything you need to do? No.
You lost your bracelet, Holly.
It is gone, gone forever.
Mm-hmm.
First, the love of your life breaks your heart, and now a beautiful memory you had of him has disappeared.
Who knows? Maybe some other girl's wearing that bracelet right now.
Why are you being all mean? I'm sad.
Yes, and you should be sad, because it is over.
He is gone.
And he has left a big old hole right here in your heart.
I know.
It's a really big hole.
[ crying .]
[ inhales, exhales deeply .]
No.
No, don't stop.
Keep it going.
You were doing so good.
Don't make me say any more mean things to you.
What? Holly, you've got to cry, okay? You got to let it out.
It's the only thing that's gonna make you feel any better, okay? Now, cry.
Come on, cry! Cry me a river, baby! Cry! I don't want to cry.
I don't like crying.
It makes my eyes all puffy and my nose all red and [ breathing heavily .]
I have trouble breathing, andI have a hard time getting my words out! See? [ crying .]
Don't I look like crap?! Yes, you do.
You look like hell.
So, Robyn tried to kiss you? And cop a feel.
Hussy.
Can you believe it? Holly was right.
Well, that's great, man.
See, now you can apologize to her, she'll forgive you, and you can stay.
First of all, she won't forgive me, and I got a job in Chicago.
Well, how can she not forgive you? Because what I did was so horrible.
I didn't believe her.
I broke our trust.
What can I possibly say? Look, just speak from your heart, okay? Just say, "Holly" go ahead.
She's not gonna -- "Holly, I" Holly, I'm really sorry.
About what, Vince? What are you doing? I'm being Holly, you know, so you can be prepared -- you don't get thrown off.
Now, continue.
"I'm sorry.
" Um, Holly you were right about Robyn.
I never should have doubted you.
I don't know.
Maybe it was the excitement of the new job that my judgment was all clouded.
So, what you're saying is that if Robyn never told you the truth [ chuckles .]
that you'd still be believing Robyn? That's great.
That's great.
She's the only reason you believe me now.
But I -- And not because you love me or trust me or respect me or know in your heart that I would never make up something so ridiculous.
I would never do something like that to someone I love.
Oh, God, Vince, how I loved you.
You were my soul mate, the love of my life.
I gave you my womanhood! Oh, snap.
My damn, man.
Oh, my damn.
I'm sorry, man.
I didn't know where it came from.
I didn't mean it.
Yeah, you did.
Holly feels the same way.
I don't blame her.
I blew it, man.
I'm going upstairs to pack.
What have I done? I had so much fun.
That was perfect.
Oh, hello, Harmony.
Should we put your balance on your credit card? No, I work in cash.
There you go.
Lauren, thank you so much for my spa getaway.
You -- I am so lucky to have you as my best friend.
And you -- I am lucky to have for my sister.
And, Tina, you -- great shoes.
[ chuckles .]
Oh.
Wow.
Val, thank you for making me feel so horrible.
I feel so much better! Good.
So do I.
I feel great.
And tonight at 6:00, I am gonna be Mrs.
Val "Calm not looking for flaws anymore" Mela -- oh, God, where's my wedding dress? It's in the car with the rest of the luggage.
Now, let's do it! Oh! Excuse me.
Sorry.
We're doing a house-to-house search, looking for two escaped convicts.
Nobody leaves.
Officers, check the back.
Nobody le -- did he just say "nobody leaves"? That's what he said.
Um, excuse me, um, Officer, hi.
I can't stay here.
I have to get to a wedding -- mine.
Oh, congratulations.
Excuse me.
How long are we gonna have to stay here? It could be hours, could be days.
Wait, no.
No, no, no.
I have to get back to New York.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
We're doing the best we can.