Mad About You s04e18 Episode Script
The Sample
[Making sucking sound.]
Honey.
Hmm? I want a divorce.
I'll stop.
* tell me why * * i love you like i do * * tell me who * * can stop my heart as much as you * * tell me all your secrets * * and i'll tell you most of mine * * they say nobody's perfect * * well, that's really true this time * * i don't have the answers, i don't have a plan * * all i have is you * * so, darling, help me understand * * what we do * * you can whisper in my ear * * where we go * * who knows what happens after here? * * let's take each other's hand * * as we jump into the final frontier * * i'm mad about you, baby * * yeah * * i'm mad about you ** The doctor says it's only good for 45 minutes.
It's so stupid.
I know exactly what the results are going to be.
They're going to tell me i have everything i need To manufacture a baby.
It's right in there.
Thank god i practiced a lot in high school.
You put it in a cooler? So? So, why? Because.
Because why? Because this way it looks more dramatic.
It looks like a heart transplant.
Looks like a picnic.
You going to mock me now? You know how many potential babies are in here? A billion.
How many? No exaggeration.
A billion potential babies.
Listen, with what's inside this cooler, I could populate a whole distant planet, Start a whole race of buch-Men.
I'm sure you could.
We have 45 minutes.
You have the address? I don't have the address.
[Buzz.]
I wrote it down on a piece of paper.
It's me.
You ready? Who is that? Lisa? Yeah.
Why is your sister coming with us? She's going to drop us at the hospital, Then she's borrowing the car.
I promised ira he could borrow the car.
As long as we get there, i don't care.
You want me to come up? We'll be right down.
We'll be right down.
O.
K.
, but hurry.
O.
K.
, lis, you know what? Whatever.
Did you tell her why we're going? She's my sister.
You and me, your sister, ira, And a cooler full of love.
What could be more pleasant? Where are you going? You're the one Who didn't want to do this at the hospital.
Not at the hospital.
Hospitals are for sick people, And this is the act of a healthy, healthy man.
I don't need a whole ward full of people watching me.
Nobody is watching you.
You think they don't have two-Way mirrors? I don't think that's the best place for the soda.
I don't like hospitals.
Know what i mean? It's they're cold and nasty And things happen.
And your friend's uncle.
That's exactly right.
Andy kessler's uncle.
The man goes into the hospital for a blood test, Next thing you know he's in a home Wearing a bib, and barking.
Nobody knows what happened.
Got him barking now.
Well, whatever it was, it wasn't good.
When we get there, let me do all the talking.
Fine.
I want you to be there, I just don't want you right there.
Fine.
I may need space.
I will give you space.
That doesn't work when you do that.
Hey, i decided to come up.
We said we would be right down.
You have the greatest elevator.
It's so slow.
Wait till i tell you this story.
Can't wait.
Honey, that also doesn't work.
Something works.
Hold the lift please! What are you doing? We're in a hurry.
Sorry.
It was a reflex.
Thank you so much.
Oh, hal! He's a bit slow on the uptake this morning.
Hal! We're in a little bit of a hurry.
Let the door close.
Huh? Hit the button.
Let the door close.
Oh, i'll do it.
Lady, you're in america.
Get with the program.
Ta-Ta.
Wait.
I asked you to hold the lift.
Paul.
Huh? The button didn't work.
Sorry.
Picnic.
You're going on a picnic? Yeah.
Today? Mm-Hmm.
It's 40 degrees outside.
Indoors.
An indoors picnic? Yeah.
Oh, i thought for a second You were transporting Human donor organs in there.
That's funny you say that Because that's actually what this is.
A human organ? Yes.
Yeah.
It's a heart.
No, it's not.
It's a liver.
No.
It is.
It's a small liver.
You're teasing.
A human thumb.
Oh, my goodness.
I forgot my umbrella.
Better run back upstairs and retrieve it then, shouldn't you? [Ding.]
Come on.
It's not really a thumb, is it? You want to know what it is? I told them.
Oh, no.
Believe this? What? You can make it.
I'm totally blocked in.
There's all sorts of room.
I can't get out of this spot.
It's a piece of cake.
I don't think it's doable.
Of course it's doable.
There's plenty of room.
Honey, let's just take a cab.
Why have a car if we won't use it? What if there's traffic? I can't get stuck in traffic As good as a cab? Want me to move the car? I will do it.
I need a cup of coffee.
No.
There's no time.
I'm woozy.
You're not woozy.
That's the way you are.
Excuse me.
Is this your truck? Honey.
I drive it.
My brother-In-Law's got a cooler full O.
K.
Fine.
You can't squeeze through? With the car? No.
He couldn't, but i think i could.
Me, too.
You could not.
It's definitely doable.
It's not doable.
Do you think it's doable? Doable.
Wait.
We got to move that stuff over there.
After we're finished, i'll happily move the truck.
How long will that take? Four to seven minutes.
Four to seven minutes.
We have four to seven minutes.
We're making a movie here.
I know mr.
Lumet will be very grateful.
Sidney lumet? That's right.
Sidney lumet? Big deal.
Sidney lumet's making a movie.
Just because you're making a movie Doesn't mean you own the street.
As will mr.
Pacino.
Al pacino? Al pacino? Ooh, that's hush-Hush.
We'll grab a quick cup of coffee.
By the time we're done We'll be gone.
There you go.
What's the matter with you? You didn't want to do this at a hospital.
It won't happen there.
I'll tell them we're on the way.
Coffee fast, or i'll kill you.
Hey, what about my story? What? What's wrong with you? Nothing.
I'm just a little nervous.
Then i'll tell you my story.
What, are you going on a picnic? Lis, hang onto this for a second.
Oh, no, no, no.
You're a child.
You're a big baby.
Great thing about this car seats a billion.
Lis, you want to come with us? Um, no, thanks.
Keep an eye on the car.
Roger wilco.
Hey, hey, hey.
So, where's al? Is he around? Al? I don't know.
It's o.
K.
He knows me.
Ay-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi.
So tell me, paulie.
Tell me about the test.
What do they do? They have a microscope, and then they look, And they count.
And they tell you what? They tell you if you're percolating or Making decaf.
Exactly.
Passing bad checks.
Whatever.
Signing your name with invisible ink.
I get it.
I mean, i have no reason to believe that That you're playing poker without any chips.
Yeah.
As far as i know, I'm fine.
Next.
Yeah, well, i suppose.
What does that mean? You probably blocked it out of your memory.
Blocked what? Paulie, little league, The fastball that you took in the pants.
What are you talking about? That's like 20 whatever years ago.
He could bring it.
You remember how hard he threw? Hey, those were my pants.
To your credit, The whole time you crawled to first base, Not even a whimper.
You remember that? Both teams stood and applauded.
You think that actually could have done some damage? Well, paulie, it couldn't have helped.
Don't mention this to jamie.
Why's that? Because she'll get mad.
What, that you took a hard one in the grapes? We can't have a kid Because i was crowding the plate.
You were protecting the strike zone.
Just don't tell her.
Look at this.
We'll be fine.
I need cappuccinos, cappuccinos, espressos Gino wants a tea.
And a tea.
All right, so where's jamie? Where's lis? More importantly, where's my car? Hey, how are we doing? Hey.
Al pacino's a total Hey.
See, paulie.
Doable.
Feel like i was invited to a party.
I'm the only one who didn't bring anything.
Honey, the car was stolen.
What are you going to do? Well, i didn't want to do this.
Hey, can you break a hundred? What? Can you break a hundred? No.
Can you break a 50? No.
How about 20? Don't have it.
Can't.
Change for a dollar? I don't have any change.
Lend me a quarter.
I don't have it.
Dime? Nickel? You're lying.
Are you lying? Lisa, i have a quarter.
What am i going to do with that? Can you break a hundred? That's all right.
Excuse us.
Hey.
Where have you been? Scoping out the place.
Man, they got some nice nurses here, paulie.
Much nicer than st.
Vincent's.
Next time i need something removed, This is the place.
I believe that's their motto.
It's a good one.
Maybe you'll get lucky, Get one of those nice, sexy nurses With the tight white uniforms, Short skirt, and the white stockings With the seam up the back.
Mr.
Buchman.
I'm nurse yanowicz.
Or maybe him.
I'll show you to the depository.
Depository.
Depository.
Whoa.
All right, honey.
I'm going in.
Wish me luck.
O.
K.
I'll be waiting for you When you get back.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's do it.
I think you'll find everything you need Magazines, video tapes, Dimmer switch.
Even left a little mint for you Near the tissue box.
Enjoy your stay.
My sense is you enjoy your work.
Yeah, it's very fulfilling.
Do me a favor.
Don't dilly-Dally.
We got a lot of people waiting today.
Yeah, thank you.
I need that extra pressure.
Next time bring it in from home.
Oh, here we go.
Clench Funky Slap and tickle.
Slapping and tickling.
Slapping Tickling.
A little tickle, a little slap.
[Whistles.]
[Knock on door.]
Somebody's in here.
Somebody's in here.
Paulie, open the door.
What's the matter? I just wanted to see.
See what? The depository.
There's nothing to see.
What have you got there? Nothing.
Ooh, slap and tickle.
There's a very interesting article On the history of slapping.
Yeah, whatever.
This is just so weird.
Oh, man, you got tapes.
I'm supposed to do something very personal, And yet everybody in the world knows about this.
Seen it.
Seen it.
This one i got on a waiting list.
Hey, lust of the mohicans.
My whole life i was told it's a sin.
Now it's covered by insurance.
If you've just joined us, We're bringing you breaking news.
I am bill mchenry reporting to you live From news copter 4.
Over two dozen area police units Are racing through the streets of manhattan In what appears to be a high-Speed pursuit Of a vehicle stolen from the location Of the latest al pacino/sidney lumet film, east side.
Paulie, that's your car.
How did he get out of that spot? Hey, so you ready? For what? My story.
What story? Oh, yes, yes.
I'm sorry.
Go.
All right.
So, you know my boss mr.
Clarek.
He comes up to me and says, "Lisa, i've got a problem.
" I said, "hey, if you need to fire somebody, I'll do it for you.
" His son has been thrown out Of his fourth college, Like harvard and yale and What's the color one? Brown.
Yeah, brown.
Yeah.
All them.
He doesn't know what to do with him, So he's going to take him into the business.
He says, "lisa, you've been such a strong influence.
Thought i'd put you in charge of sanford.
" That's the kid's name.
I'd said i'd show him the ropes.
So the kid shows up, he's about 23 Stunning Charming Worth about 400 mil.
$400 million? Yeah.
Anyway, one thing leads to another.
Next thing i know, He and i are like [Hums rap tune.]
Wait.
You and the heir to the clareks' fortune? Yes.
I must fill some void in his life Because this is not just a casual thing.
He's obsessed with me.
The heir to the clareks' fortune is obsessed with you? Actually, he's not just obsessed, He wants to marry me.
The heir to the clareks' fortune Wants to marry you? Yeah, can you believe it? Hey, you got a quarter? There's a vehicle moving through the intersection.
My sample is riding shotgun in that car.
That would make your sample an accomplice.
You realize if this guy Runs into a woman who's ovulating Then i got a paternity suit on my hands.
Police have set up a roadblock, But the driver He's going to smash up my car.
Look at him drive.
He's like mario andretti.
Honey, what is What are you doing? Close the door.
Look at this.
Our car's in a high-Speed chase.
This guy has no fear.
He somehow maneuvered the car Through the space between the police cars With the authorities still in pursuit.
Hey, look.
A quarter.
What are you doing? Our car is involved in a high-Speed chase.
I want to watch.
Sure.
Now she wants to watch the car.
This guy's driving like gene hackman In the french connection.
He won't make it.
He'll make it.
[Crash.]
The vehicle has just sideswiped A series of parked cars and flipped over.
The police are slowly Approaching this vehicle.
There is no movement from within.
A cooler of some kind has rolled out.
Now the bomb squad is moving in.
They're going to blow up my sample.
Mr.
Buchman.
My sample's on tv.
Give me another chance.
I didn't mean to fool around.
I'm sorry.
The depository is not a playroom.
This is the only space I have available right now.
Could i bribe you? No.
This is too humiliating.
I can't.
Look, buchman, you blew it, o.
K.
? You want your results today, this is it.
This is so public.
Anybody could walk in at any time.
It's o.
K.
, sweetie.
I'll cover you.
All right, i'm going in.
[Fly buzzes.]
I'm sorry.
He's going to be a couple of minutes.
[Loud swats and thumps.]
It's going to be a couple of minutes.
I can't concentrate.
There's a fly in there the size of an owl.
Well, maybe i can help.
I'm desperate.
Tell me what you want me to do.
I'll do anything.
You remember that hotel in the poconos In '92 in the spring? That? Would you? Well * i wanna be loved by you * * just you * * and nobody else will do * * i wanna be loved by you * * alone * * boo-Boop-Bee-Doo * * i wanna be * Just a little louder.
* i wanna be loved by you * * just you * * and nobody else will do ** What is it about that song? I don't know, but it worked.
Thank you.
Buchman, i have your results per milliliter.
Honey.
Actually, i don't know what that means, 20 mil.
Yeah.
Very good.
You have high motility, Good morphology.
Everything is good.
Seriously? No.
I'm joking.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
What did i say, huh? I got billions of them.
We're great.
I got to get a new cooler, But otherwise we're fine.
I'm so relieved.
I love you so much.
What? What? What's the matter? What? Nothing.
Hey, i know you.
What? Stop that.
We're fine.
Yeah.
You're fine.
Hey.
[Helen kane.]
* i wanna be loved by you * * just you * * and nobody else but you * * i wanna be loved by you * * alone * * boop-Boop-A-Doop * Did you leave it in something like this? No.
Oh.
How about this? No.
Well, maybe it's this.
No.
Oh, here we go.
This.
No.
Look, i think it had a handle.
There it is.
Thanks.
Honey.
Hmm? I want a divorce.
I'll stop.
* tell me why * * i love you like i do * * tell me who * * can stop my heart as much as you * * tell me all your secrets * * and i'll tell you most of mine * * they say nobody's perfect * * well, that's really true this time * * i don't have the answers, i don't have a plan * * all i have is you * * so, darling, help me understand * * what we do * * you can whisper in my ear * * where we go * * who knows what happens after here? * * let's take each other's hand * * as we jump into the final frontier * * i'm mad about you, baby * * yeah * * i'm mad about you ** The doctor says it's only good for 45 minutes.
It's so stupid.
I know exactly what the results are going to be.
They're going to tell me i have everything i need To manufacture a baby.
It's right in there.
Thank god i practiced a lot in high school.
You put it in a cooler? So? So, why? Because.
Because why? Because this way it looks more dramatic.
It looks like a heart transplant.
Looks like a picnic.
You going to mock me now? You know how many potential babies are in here? A billion.
How many? No exaggeration.
A billion potential babies.
Listen, with what's inside this cooler, I could populate a whole distant planet, Start a whole race of buch-Men.
I'm sure you could.
We have 45 minutes.
You have the address? I don't have the address.
[Buzz.]
I wrote it down on a piece of paper.
It's me.
You ready? Who is that? Lisa? Yeah.
Why is your sister coming with us? She's going to drop us at the hospital, Then she's borrowing the car.
I promised ira he could borrow the car.
As long as we get there, i don't care.
You want me to come up? We'll be right down.
We'll be right down.
O.
K.
, but hurry.
O.
K.
, lis, you know what? Whatever.
Did you tell her why we're going? She's my sister.
You and me, your sister, ira, And a cooler full of love.
What could be more pleasant? Where are you going? You're the one Who didn't want to do this at the hospital.
Not at the hospital.
Hospitals are for sick people, And this is the act of a healthy, healthy man.
I don't need a whole ward full of people watching me.
Nobody is watching you.
You think they don't have two-Way mirrors? I don't think that's the best place for the soda.
I don't like hospitals.
Know what i mean? It's they're cold and nasty And things happen.
And your friend's uncle.
That's exactly right.
Andy kessler's uncle.
The man goes into the hospital for a blood test, Next thing you know he's in a home Wearing a bib, and barking.
Nobody knows what happened.
Got him barking now.
Well, whatever it was, it wasn't good.
When we get there, let me do all the talking.
Fine.
I want you to be there, I just don't want you right there.
Fine.
I may need space.
I will give you space.
That doesn't work when you do that.
Hey, i decided to come up.
We said we would be right down.
You have the greatest elevator.
It's so slow.
Wait till i tell you this story.
Can't wait.
Honey, that also doesn't work.
Something works.
Hold the lift please! What are you doing? We're in a hurry.
Sorry.
It was a reflex.
Thank you so much.
Oh, hal! He's a bit slow on the uptake this morning.
Hal! We're in a little bit of a hurry.
Let the door close.
Huh? Hit the button.
Let the door close.
Oh, i'll do it.
Lady, you're in america.
Get with the program.
Ta-Ta.
Wait.
I asked you to hold the lift.
Paul.
Huh? The button didn't work.
Sorry.
Picnic.
You're going on a picnic? Yeah.
Today? Mm-Hmm.
It's 40 degrees outside.
Indoors.
An indoors picnic? Yeah.
Oh, i thought for a second You were transporting Human donor organs in there.
That's funny you say that Because that's actually what this is.
A human organ? Yes.
Yeah.
It's a heart.
No, it's not.
It's a liver.
No.
It is.
It's a small liver.
You're teasing.
A human thumb.
Oh, my goodness.
I forgot my umbrella.
Better run back upstairs and retrieve it then, shouldn't you? [Ding.]
Come on.
It's not really a thumb, is it? You want to know what it is? I told them.
Oh, no.
Believe this? What? You can make it.
I'm totally blocked in.
There's all sorts of room.
I can't get out of this spot.
It's a piece of cake.
I don't think it's doable.
Of course it's doable.
There's plenty of room.
Honey, let's just take a cab.
Why have a car if we won't use it? What if there's traffic? I can't get stuck in traffic As good as a cab? Want me to move the car? I will do it.
I need a cup of coffee.
No.
There's no time.
I'm woozy.
You're not woozy.
That's the way you are.
Excuse me.
Is this your truck? Honey.
I drive it.
My brother-In-Law's got a cooler full O.
K.
Fine.
You can't squeeze through? With the car? No.
He couldn't, but i think i could.
Me, too.
You could not.
It's definitely doable.
It's not doable.
Do you think it's doable? Doable.
Wait.
We got to move that stuff over there.
After we're finished, i'll happily move the truck.
How long will that take? Four to seven minutes.
Four to seven minutes.
We have four to seven minutes.
We're making a movie here.
I know mr.
Lumet will be very grateful.
Sidney lumet? That's right.
Sidney lumet? Big deal.
Sidney lumet's making a movie.
Just because you're making a movie Doesn't mean you own the street.
As will mr.
Pacino.
Al pacino? Al pacino? Ooh, that's hush-Hush.
We'll grab a quick cup of coffee.
By the time we're done We'll be gone.
There you go.
What's the matter with you? You didn't want to do this at a hospital.
It won't happen there.
I'll tell them we're on the way.
Coffee fast, or i'll kill you.
Hey, what about my story? What? What's wrong with you? Nothing.
I'm just a little nervous.
Then i'll tell you my story.
What, are you going on a picnic? Lis, hang onto this for a second.
Oh, no, no, no.
You're a child.
You're a big baby.
Great thing about this car seats a billion.
Lis, you want to come with us? Um, no, thanks.
Keep an eye on the car.
Roger wilco.
Hey, hey, hey.
So, where's al? Is he around? Al? I don't know.
It's o.
K.
He knows me.
Ay-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi.
So tell me, paulie.
Tell me about the test.
What do they do? They have a microscope, and then they look, And they count.
And they tell you what? They tell you if you're percolating or Making decaf.
Exactly.
Passing bad checks.
Whatever.
Signing your name with invisible ink.
I get it.
I mean, i have no reason to believe that That you're playing poker without any chips.
Yeah.
As far as i know, I'm fine.
Next.
Yeah, well, i suppose.
What does that mean? You probably blocked it out of your memory.
Blocked what? Paulie, little league, The fastball that you took in the pants.
What are you talking about? That's like 20 whatever years ago.
He could bring it.
You remember how hard he threw? Hey, those were my pants.
To your credit, The whole time you crawled to first base, Not even a whimper.
You remember that? Both teams stood and applauded.
You think that actually could have done some damage? Well, paulie, it couldn't have helped.
Don't mention this to jamie.
Why's that? Because she'll get mad.
What, that you took a hard one in the grapes? We can't have a kid Because i was crowding the plate.
You were protecting the strike zone.
Just don't tell her.
Look at this.
We'll be fine.
I need cappuccinos, cappuccinos, espressos Gino wants a tea.
And a tea.
All right, so where's jamie? Where's lis? More importantly, where's my car? Hey, how are we doing? Hey.
Al pacino's a total Hey.
See, paulie.
Doable.
Feel like i was invited to a party.
I'm the only one who didn't bring anything.
Honey, the car was stolen.
What are you going to do? Well, i didn't want to do this.
Hey, can you break a hundred? What? Can you break a hundred? No.
Can you break a 50? No.
How about 20? Don't have it.
Can't.
Change for a dollar? I don't have any change.
Lend me a quarter.
I don't have it.
Dime? Nickel? You're lying.
Are you lying? Lisa, i have a quarter.
What am i going to do with that? Can you break a hundred? That's all right.
Excuse us.
Hey.
Where have you been? Scoping out the place.
Man, they got some nice nurses here, paulie.
Much nicer than st.
Vincent's.
Next time i need something removed, This is the place.
I believe that's their motto.
It's a good one.
Maybe you'll get lucky, Get one of those nice, sexy nurses With the tight white uniforms, Short skirt, and the white stockings With the seam up the back.
Mr.
Buchman.
I'm nurse yanowicz.
Or maybe him.
I'll show you to the depository.
Depository.
Depository.
Whoa.
All right, honey.
I'm going in.
Wish me luck.
O.
K.
I'll be waiting for you When you get back.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's do it.
I think you'll find everything you need Magazines, video tapes, Dimmer switch.
Even left a little mint for you Near the tissue box.
Enjoy your stay.
My sense is you enjoy your work.
Yeah, it's very fulfilling.
Do me a favor.
Don't dilly-Dally.
We got a lot of people waiting today.
Yeah, thank you.
I need that extra pressure.
Next time bring it in from home.
Oh, here we go.
Clench Funky Slap and tickle.
Slapping and tickling.
Slapping Tickling.
A little tickle, a little slap.
[Whistles.]
[Knock on door.]
Somebody's in here.
Somebody's in here.
Paulie, open the door.
What's the matter? I just wanted to see.
See what? The depository.
There's nothing to see.
What have you got there? Nothing.
Ooh, slap and tickle.
There's a very interesting article On the history of slapping.
Yeah, whatever.
This is just so weird.
Oh, man, you got tapes.
I'm supposed to do something very personal, And yet everybody in the world knows about this.
Seen it.
Seen it.
This one i got on a waiting list.
Hey, lust of the mohicans.
My whole life i was told it's a sin.
Now it's covered by insurance.
If you've just joined us, We're bringing you breaking news.
I am bill mchenry reporting to you live From news copter 4.
Over two dozen area police units Are racing through the streets of manhattan In what appears to be a high-Speed pursuit Of a vehicle stolen from the location Of the latest al pacino/sidney lumet film, east side.
Paulie, that's your car.
How did he get out of that spot? Hey, so you ready? For what? My story.
What story? Oh, yes, yes.
I'm sorry.
Go.
All right.
So, you know my boss mr.
Clarek.
He comes up to me and says, "Lisa, i've got a problem.
" I said, "hey, if you need to fire somebody, I'll do it for you.
" His son has been thrown out Of his fourth college, Like harvard and yale and What's the color one? Brown.
Yeah, brown.
Yeah.
All them.
He doesn't know what to do with him, So he's going to take him into the business.
He says, "lisa, you've been such a strong influence.
Thought i'd put you in charge of sanford.
" That's the kid's name.
I'd said i'd show him the ropes.
So the kid shows up, he's about 23 Stunning Charming Worth about 400 mil.
$400 million? Yeah.
Anyway, one thing leads to another.
Next thing i know, He and i are like [Hums rap tune.]
Wait.
You and the heir to the clareks' fortune? Yes.
I must fill some void in his life Because this is not just a casual thing.
He's obsessed with me.
The heir to the clareks' fortune is obsessed with you? Actually, he's not just obsessed, He wants to marry me.
The heir to the clareks' fortune Wants to marry you? Yeah, can you believe it? Hey, you got a quarter? There's a vehicle moving through the intersection.
My sample is riding shotgun in that car.
That would make your sample an accomplice.
You realize if this guy Runs into a woman who's ovulating Then i got a paternity suit on my hands.
Police have set up a roadblock, But the driver He's going to smash up my car.
Look at him drive.
He's like mario andretti.
Honey, what is What are you doing? Close the door.
Look at this.
Our car's in a high-Speed chase.
This guy has no fear.
He somehow maneuvered the car Through the space between the police cars With the authorities still in pursuit.
Hey, look.
A quarter.
What are you doing? Our car is involved in a high-Speed chase.
I want to watch.
Sure.
Now she wants to watch the car.
This guy's driving like gene hackman In the french connection.
He won't make it.
He'll make it.
[Crash.]
The vehicle has just sideswiped A series of parked cars and flipped over.
The police are slowly Approaching this vehicle.
There is no movement from within.
A cooler of some kind has rolled out.
Now the bomb squad is moving in.
They're going to blow up my sample.
Mr.
Buchman.
My sample's on tv.
Give me another chance.
I didn't mean to fool around.
I'm sorry.
The depository is not a playroom.
This is the only space I have available right now.
Could i bribe you? No.
This is too humiliating.
I can't.
Look, buchman, you blew it, o.
K.
? You want your results today, this is it.
This is so public.
Anybody could walk in at any time.
It's o.
K.
, sweetie.
I'll cover you.
All right, i'm going in.
[Fly buzzes.]
I'm sorry.
He's going to be a couple of minutes.
[Loud swats and thumps.]
It's going to be a couple of minutes.
I can't concentrate.
There's a fly in there the size of an owl.
Well, maybe i can help.
I'm desperate.
Tell me what you want me to do.
I'll do anything.
You remember that hotel in the poconos In '92 in the spring? That? Would you? Well * i wanna be loved by you * * just you * * and nobody else will do * * i wanna be loved by you * * alone * * boo-Boop-Bee-Doo * * i wanna be * Just a little louder.
* i wanna be loved by you * * just you * * and nobody else will do ** What is it about that song? I don't know, but it worked.
Thank you.
Buchman, i have your results per milliliter.
Honey.
Actually, i don't know what that means, 20 mil.
Yeah.
Very good.
You have high motility, Good morphology.
Everything is good.
Seriously? No.
I'm joking.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
What did i say, huh? I got billions of them.
We're great.
I got to get a new cooler, But otherwise we're fine.
I'm so relieved.
I love you so much.
What? What? What's the matter? What? Nothing.
Hey, i know you.
What? Stop that.
We're fine.
Yeah.
You're fine.
Hey.
[Helen kane.]
* i wanna be loved by you * * just you * * and nobody else but you * * i wanna be loved by you * * alone * * boop-Boop-A-Doop * Did you leave it in something like this? No.
Oh.
How about this? No.
Well, maybe it's this.
No.
Oh, here we go.
This.
No.
Look, i think it had a handle.
There it is.
Thanks.