Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s04e19 Episode Script

1
Dele, we're going to be late.
We need to get to church
before the Awolowos.
They are pew hoppers.
I never thought I'd be a church guy.
And I'm very proud of you.
Well, between the food
and the juicy gossip,
it's not as miserable as I thought.
You should be going to church
because you'll be welcomed
into the kingdom of heaven.
Yeah, that's good, too.
By the way,
did you know Ife's not even Nigerian?
- No.
- Eh?
Keep it under your gele.
Karo.
E karo, Mummy. You look lovely.
BOB: Oh, look at this stud.
You going to church or the Met Gala?
Thank you.
You could not just
let me have my moment?
Sorry.
DOTTIE: So, what do we think
am I gonna pull focus from the pastor?
You look wonderful.
I'm glad you decided to come.
You invited her?
Well, you said it was the
best part of your week.
I wanted to see what
all the fuss was about.
That's just great.
Are you even allowed in the church?
Bob. We have to go.
Dele, get in the car.
Move your ass, Bobby.
I'm not sure I should go.
I'm not feeling great.
She's a nurse. It never works.
Let's go.
["IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING]
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy ♪
[LOUDLY]: Down in my heart ♪
Down in my heart ♪
Down in my heart ♪
I've got the joy ♪
Joy, joy, joy ♪
Down in my heart ♪
Down in my heart to stay ♪
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy ♪
I know we have to deal with her,
but why inflict her on innocent people?
She's communicating with God.
Maybe she could ask Him why He hates me.
Down in my heart ♪
Down in my heart ♪
To stay! ♪
Hello, brothers and sisters.
What a beautiful day.
For who?
Let us welcome any new
visitors who have chosen
to spend their Sunday with us.
Oh, you're too kind.
This isn't your night at the Copa, Mom.
- Ow.
- Leave your mother alone.
She's only doing it for attention.
That's why she's
wearing that stupid hat.
- Ow!
- I gave her that hat.
Now it is time to give back to the Lord.
If you do not have any cash,
do not worry.
There's a brand-new ATM in the lobby.
The first round of forgiveness is on me.
I see God is not the only
one who makes it rain.
So much more generous than your son.
All right.
That ought to cover my sins.
I had a hell of a weekend.
Oopsie, I said hell.
Maybe we could just tell people she's
some crazy lady we
picked up off the street.
I am proud of her.
You should be, too.
- Can I get a hallelujah?
- Hallelujah.
What? She's fun.
Oh, Kofo,
I love what you have done
with the place. [CHUCKLES]
For dinner, a delicious stockfish stew.
[SMOOTH JAZZ STARTS PLAYING]
And a buttery Chardonnay.
- You spoil you.
- [KNOCKING]
- UNCLE TUNDE: It's your landlord.
- [MUSIC STOPS]
You have a noise problem!
Your music is not loud enough.
Uncle, I was just enjoying
some alone time
Okay, please come in.
Oh, I-I wanted to get a
glimpse of your new digs.
[CHUCKLES] It is not quite finished.
Picture sophisticated
artwork on the walls
and a karaoke machine in the corner.
- Oh. Well, I am going to have to hire a contractor.
- Why?
Because when I sing into that machine,
I will blow the roof off this place.
Do I smell stockfish?
Well, my mother sent me
a housewarming package
from Nigeria.
I also brought a gift.
- Oh, Uncle, you did not have to.
- Of course I did.
We are practically roommates.
Well, thank you for coming by.
I am sure you are busy.
As soon as I got a
whiff of that stockfish,
my schedule opened up.
I will get another bowl.
Oh, and a better beer.
I-I don't care for these.
Morning, morning.
- Morning.
- Morning, Kemi.
- How was your weekend?
- Wonderful.
Chukwuemeka and I
celebrated our engagement
by drinking mimosas bottomless.
You mean bottomless mimosas.
I said it right.
No, you
Ew.
I took my mother-in-law to
church and saved her soul.
Um, seeing as it was me
who first brought you to our church,
technically, I saved Dottie's soul.
Please tell her she's very welcome.
Fine, we are both model Christians.
I'm not sure bragging about it's
- very Christian.
- You don't think
Jesus boasted when he
fed all those people
with one loaf of bread?
How else did the story get out?
You should come with us this Sunday.
I have a church, thank you.
You only go on holidays.
I don't have to go every week.
My mother always told me
there's no wrong way to love God.
That is a nice sentiment.
But it is nonsense.
Let me take you to prayer group.
I think you would love
our fellowship luncheon.
I'm good.
You are pushing too hard.
I could get you in the choir.
We could use your husky voice.
Stop saving her. I will save her.
You already saved someone this week,
it is my turn!
- You getting commission or something?
- No.
But it's not a bad idea.
I will mention it to the pastor.
- I will mention it to the pastor!
- Oh
Gloria? Gloria.
Somebody stop that woman!
She needs Jesus!
Hello, Pastor, it is Abishola.
Our house ♪
Boom, boom, boom.
In the middle of our street ♪
My apartment ♪
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
- In the middle of my ♪
- Hello.
Oluwa mi o!
So, last night I noticed
your toilet was running,
so I fixed it. [CHUCKLES]
Uh, listen.
I just went, and you don't hear a thing.
Thank you, Uncle.
I did not know you are such a handyman.
Or that you could legally
enter my apartment
- without my knowledge.
- [KNOCKING]
Uh, it is open.
No, no, I prefer my guests knock.
- Mr. Wheeler.
- Hey, fellas.
Olu said this is where the party was.
Hey, nice place.
Ah, we like it. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, you are just in time.
I was about to crack open
some of Kofo's nice whiskey.
I-I was saving that
for a special occasion.
Look around, my friend.
BOB: Fantastic. I need a place
where I can get away
from all the crap at home
and just hang with the guys.
Uh, perhaps a sports bar.
Are you and Abishola having problems?
No, no, we're great. It's my mom
I want to suffocate in her sleep.
Oh, that is a relief.
I've tried being polite,
but she won't take a hint.
Some people are completely oblivious
to when they have overstayed
- their welcome.
- Welcome?
I didn't invite her,
she just came over and never left.
That is awful.
Yes, it is.
You must set boundaries
for your own peace of mind.
Get clear on what you need,
and demand it.
You're right. I need to not
worry about hurting feelings
and just come out with it.
I would really like some alone time.
That was perfect.
Say it just like that, Bob,
you will not be ignored.
Hey, Ma.
Hey. I'm making Olu's egusi soup recipe
for the potluck. Look at me
I'm practically Nigerian.
Yeah, I don't think they use
Guy Fieri's Donkey Sauce.
- I'm doing my take on it.
- There's no take.
It's their culture.
You don't think sometimes
I want to throw a little
ranch on the suya?
But I don't, because I'm a guest.
Well, I just want to be involved.
You know, sing in the church choir,
go to the picnics, and what's that thing
where everybody gets
together to study the Bible?
- Bible study?
- Yeah, that.
I got you something.
First Christian Church, Agape Lutheran.
[SCOFFS] A brochure for horse racing?
I'm just giving you options
to fill your Sundays.
You ever do paint and sip?
But I like our church.
Plus, I'm already in the hole 500 bucks.
Well, how about I write you a check
and you go Jesus hunting someplace else?
I didn't realize you hated
being around me so much.
I'm not saying that.
I thought we were having a good time.
Everybody was happy for me to be there
except for my own son.
They are happy.
Please leave them alone
so they can stay that way.
You know what,
you can have your church back.
- Thank you.
- In fact, I'll do you one better.
I'll get out of your frickin' house.
Aw, don't be so dramatic.
Where are you gonna go?
Bobby threw me out.
Oh, well, you always have a home here.
Both in my arms and my abode.
I will be a pillar of strength in
Would you just let me in?
- Right this way.
- Get my bag.
The cost reports are outrageous.
Well, that's what happens
when you open a factory.
You got to spend money to make money.
But when are we going to make money?
Just hang in there.
We'll be out of the red in six months.
Give or take six months.
That's right, have faith.
But not too much faith.
Bobby doesn't like that.
Mom, can you get under my
skin after the meeting?
I'll put it in my calendar.
Douglas, the new hires start next week.
- Make sure you have all the intake paperwork ready.
- Yep.
Also made an orientation video.
Went a little over budget,
but we'll just hire one less guy.
What do you think of
these throw pillows?
Oh, those would look
great in the living room.
- They're on sale.
- Oh, we should get 'em.
Guys.
Oh, excuse us, your majesty.
Everyone,
Bob Wheeler is speaking.
You know, Mom,
you're welcome to stay at my house, too.
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
What are you doing?
I'm your little brother.
I like to piss you off.
GOODWIN: Let's talk about
the shipments for next week.
We got to try and cut
our turnaround time.
I don't want to pay people to hang out.
DOTTIE: I got a hankering
for tacos tonight.
What do you say
you want to head down Mexico way?
Ooh, sí, señorita.
- Where you going?
- Just, uh, give me a second.
[SCREAMING]
All right, let's ship some socks.
[HUMMING A TUNE]
Hello.
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
A little cheery for someone who
just switched out a catheter.
Did you get another doctor fired?
No.
Did a white patient pronounce
your name correctly?
No, I had a normal morning
with Bob, Dele, and Mummy.
And after they left,
I had a little time to myself.
Oh, nice to relax before work.
Yes. I organized the kitchen drawers,
cleaned out the pantry
and got rid of a pesky
clog in the shower drain.
- Ooh, sounds magical.
- Yes.
Ah-ha.
- What?
- You usually have some anecdote
about your mother-in-law eating
an omelet in an open robe.
Oh, stop making me picture stuff.
It seems Dottie's absence
has put pep in your step.
You're step is normally pep-less.
When my mother moved to Hawaii,
my skin cleared up,
I slept better,
my cholesterol went down.
I could even have dairy again.
Well, I am not like you.
I would never be happy
that Bob disrespected his mother.
Oh. Okay then.
Call her, tell her to move back in.
Okay.
Oh, my God, I'm a terrible person.
Welcome to the dark side,
where we eat cheese and look amazing.
And that was when I knew
I could rewire anything.
I was six.
You said the story was about college.
I'm getting there.
[KNOCKING]
Oh, did you order dinner, you rascal?
No, it must be an unexpected visitor.
Oh. Hello, cousin. How unexpected.
Kofo, I am here spontaneously.
Goodwin,
you came in the middle
of a very interesting story.
But don't worry,
I will start again.
Perhaps first we should let Goodwin
tell us why he is here.
It is a good thing I am here.
You have work tomorrow.
You cannot afford to spend your evenings
talking until the wee hours.
But I am having so much fun.
Of course you are.
He's a wonderful storyteller.
But I cannot allow it.
I am sorry Uncle Tunde,
but you must leave.
Okay, well, you are the bad guy.
[CHUCKLES] Well,
I suppose I should be getting home.
I'll be back for movie night
when Mr. Buzzkill is not around.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Thank you for coming to my rescue.
He would not stop talking.
I tried to take a toilet break
but he continued to tell
the story through the door.
I am glad to be the person you call
when you need to be chastised.
This is very nice.
Thank you, cousin.
I am proud of you, Kofo.
Congratulations.
Are you going to watch the Arsenal game?
- No.
- Well, I am.
Put it on.
Kaale, Mama Ebun.
I need you to get my suitcase
down from the attic.
I have decided to throw
myself out on the street
before you do.
I don't think it was unreasonable
to ask my mom for some space.
You have made sacrifices
since her stroke.
- Yes.
- You invited her
into your home.
You rearranged your life for her.
- Thank you.
- But
Here it comes.
have you ever thought about
what your mother has given up?
Pretty sure you're gonna tell me.
Now that she is healthy,
she spends much of her time alone.
Well, I can't devote every
second of my life to her.
She knows that, which is why she went
- searching for fellowship.
- Well why does she
have to find it at my church?
I just got them to stop
calling me White Bob.
It is not easy to have
your circumstances change suddenly
and find yourself as a permanent guest
in your child's home.
We're not just talking about
my mom anymore, are we?
Who else would we be talking about?
Well, it sounds like you're
feeling a little unwanted.
So you are kicking me out?
No, I'm trying to be sensitive.
- Go get the suitcase!
- I'm not doing it!
You're here till you die!
Mm, let's have some more.
It's a slumber party. We can be bad.
What are you, 12?
[KNOCKING]
You know, you wouldn't let me have
any more ice cream then, either.
You're welcome.
Someone had to save
you from the chub club.
Oh, hey, guys. Come on in.
What, moving across town
wasn't far enough for you?
Well, I'm not going to Canada.
Those people give me the creeps.
Did you miss this?
I'm sorry about what I said.
I was being selfish.
And disrespectful. And blasphemous.
Honey, I got this.
If you want to go to church,
you can do that.
I love you and I'm always happy
to have you around.
Please come home, Mom.
Oh, that is so nice.
I'll get your bag.
Thank you for saying that, Bobby,
but I'm gonna stay.
- What?
- What?
You deserve to live your life
without me being around 24-7.
Only if that's what you really want.
You've taken care of me long enough.
We're gonna have a blast,
aren't we honey?
[WEAKLY]: Uh-huh.
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy ♪
Down in my heart. ♪
What the hell just happened?
I got my house back.
No, wait, come on. Can't we do, like,
a joint custody thing?
Like, every other weekend?
You'll be fine.
Please reach out if you need any advice.
Yeah, or don't.
Please, don't leave me.
Want to grab some dinner?
I could go for something with cheese.
Oh, my God.
DOTTIE: Look, everybody,
I rounded up another soul.
It's like I'm looking at the past
and the future at the same time.
Be nice, that could have been you.
Oh, you both look wonderful.
We spent my whole Saturday
shopping for church outfits.
Who needs to see friends
when you have a dressing
room at Chico's?
Next week we're doing fuchsia.
[GASPS] Tunde, next week,
we are all doing fuchsia.
The one color that makes me look puffy.
♪
What a friend ♪
We have in Jesus ♪
All our sins ♪
And griefs to bear ♪
You're a guest here, honey.
You don't sing.
What a privilege ♪
Can I get a hallelujah?
Hallelujah.
Carry ♪
Everything to God ♪
In prayer. ♪