Gilmore Girls s04e19 Episode Script

"Previously on" Gilmore Girls: Rory Gilmore.
- You're taking this class?|- Yes, I am.
Wonderful.
I look forward to it.
I'm suing your company.
My lawyers will be contacting you|Monday morning.
Floyd, you're not serious.
Which P.
I.
did you have on me, Dad?|Paluso, I assume? He's the best.
He gets everything.
It's how I found out|your daughter is dating my son.
That's not true.
You'll come back to the firm.
Have your own company|under our umbrella.
- And Jason is out.
|- Jason's out.
I left a tip this time.
And I didn't put it under the glass,|I know you hate it, I made sure it didn't touch the syrup,|that makes it sticky and I didn't leave|the last dollar in pennies - just to get rid of them.
|- I know.
Why are you running down the street,|yelling at me? I wasn't running, I was walking.
|I wasn't yelling, I was talking.
- What did you say?|- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
|- You are a lot of work.
No, you are a lot of work.
- You're heading in there?|- Yes.
I need stamps.
- You heading in there?|- Yes.
I'm getting my divorce.
What? - Yeah.
|- You're getting a mail-order divorce? These are the papers|we had drawn up before.
- I just have to sign them.
|- And you're signing them in there? - There's a notary in there.
|- Luke, that is a Mail Boxes, Etc.
So? You buy envelopes at a Mail Boxes, Etc.
|You don't get divorced there.
- Why not?|- Because it's not dignified.
Crapping out in a marriage isn't|that dignified, either, but I did that.
I just want to get this over with.
|It's not a big deal.
- I just need to sign a paper.
|- You're ending a marriage.
- I'm signing a paper.
|- That says you're ending a marriage.
Please let me do this.
- Why don't you go to a lawyer's office?|- I hate lawyers.
- How about a friend's house?|- Dougie and Scooter are off at camp.
- This is wrong.
|- This is fine.
This is practical.
Getting a divorce should not be practical.
I only have 20 minutes|until I have to be back at work.
A divorce should not be rushed.
For someone who's never actually|been through a divorce you sure know a lot about it.
- You should take a few minutes to think.
|- I have thought.
It's over.
I know it's over.
And all I have to do is go in there|and sign this paper in front of a notary and then it's officially over.
|I'm fine.
Please, I'm begging you.
Let me get divorced.
- All right, then.
Go ahead.
|- Thank you.
- I thought you needed stamps.
|- I can get them later.
- What are you doing?|- I just thought I'd give you some privacy.
I'm not taking a shower,|I'm signing a paper.
- I'll come back later.
|- Will you please get in there - and buy your stamps?|- Okay, fine.
Lots and lots of work.
Welcome to Mail Boxes, Etc.
|How may I help you? - You go ahead.
|- I need to get something notarized.
Terrific.
We are happy to help you with all of your mailing|and notarizing needs.
I will need you to fill out|your name and address and then I will need a thumbprint.
- I know how it works, Kirk.
|- You have a pen? I have a pen.
- What can I do for you today?|- I can wait till he's done.
- She needs stamps.
|- I can wait- - Just get your stamps.
|- But- Oh, my God, the work.
- I need stamps.
|- Your timing is perfect.
The breakfast-food series|just came out last week.
Look at the dancing toast.
Aren't they a kick?|And here is our cartoon series.
Do you have any Lucille Balls left? Yes, I have some Balls.
I'm sorry.
Are you a fan of the|'50s/mid '60s sitcom heroines? - I don't know.
Am I?|- I think you are.
"Bewitched?" I love "Bewitched.
" Me, too.
Dr.
Bombay|was a big influence on me.
Oh, my God.
Serena?|I wanted to be Serena with that hair.
And the miniskirts.
And the groovy, psychedelic music.
- Did you practice the twitch?|- Who didn't practice it? Tabitha was so lucky.
And what ever happened|to her little brother, Adam? They determined in Episode 242|that he was a warlock, and then- I'm trying to get divorced here.
- Sorry.
|- I'm sorry.
Remember when Endora|called him Derwood? Sorry.
Oh, man.
Beat up the toaster again? The damn thing stopped working.
- You could get another one.
|- This'll be fine.
Sure.
As soon as it learns its place.
You gonna go 10 rounds|with the coffee maker, or Thank you.
- What happened to your thumb?|- It's from the thumbprint yesterday.
I thought they had inkless pads now.
- They do, Kirk doesn't.
|- Right.
He hasn't even heard of them.
|He uses the stuff that came in the notary kit he sent away for.
I've been scrubbing my thumb|for two days.
- I've tried soap, cleaning fluid.
|- Have you tried fire? Now, not only am I divorced,|every time I look at my black thumb I'm reminded that I'm divorced.
- Sorry about your thumb.
|- It's okay.
I have another one.
You know what might|make you feel better? - What?|- Handing me a cherry Danish.
It's certainly worth a try.
- Out.
|- But I just got my coffee.
Follow the thumb.
- Hello?|- Who is this? - This is Lorelai Gilmore.
|- No, this is Lorelai Gilmore.
Ghastly.
So you have my phone.
Yes, you left it in the kitchen.
You know what that means, don't you?|You miss Mommy.
Yes, or that the refrigerator|was empty, and I ordered food.
That makes much more sense.
Hold onto it.
|I'll get it from you when I see you.
Okay.
Hold on, hon.
Hello? I'm officially taking|the one hour I have off to go to the driving range to hit golf balls|to try to improve my sucky game thereby redeeming myself|in your father's eyes.
I like the use of "sucky" and|"thereby" in the same sentence.
- Who's that?|- It's Jason.
- Tell him hi.
|- Rory says hi.
Tell her hi back.
He says hi back.
Hi.
- This is a sickness.
|- I'll be in, in a minute.
- Who are you talking to?|- My other two personalities.
- I'll bring this back inside.
|- Wait, bite.
A frightening picture of things to come.
- Did you talk to anyone yet?|- I left a message for Dad.
I talked to Mom, but|she took her morning Mr.
Happy pill so of course, she was having|a happy morning and was absolutely no help.
But I'm on it.
- A man on a mission.
|- That's me.
- Fire!|- What? - Nothing.
I was just feeling left out.
|- Sorry.
I figure, if he doesn't call me back|by 4:00, I'll just go over there.
Okay, I'm at the club.
|I'm gonna hang up now.
- Call me later.
|- Me? - No.
|- No? - Not you.
|- Not me? I'm confused.
Who's hanging up now? - That would be me.
|- Good.
Okay.
I'll talk to you later.
- Jason's gone.
|- Finally had enough of you.
Yeah.
It took three hours|of my hula-dancing "Small World" doll impressions,|but I broke him.
So, how's World War lll going? The first boys off the boat|were mowed down - but the next platoon is moving in.
|- Which means? Jason's making the lawsuit go away.
- Have you talked to Grandma or Grandpa?|- No.
Have you tried to talk|to Grandma or Grandpa yet? No.
That's my little Kofi Annan.
- Jason will fix it.
|- Jason's not their daughter.
Then he might have better luck.
Why didn't you tell them|you guys were dating? Come on.
You know why.
We were going to tell them|when the time was right.
I had no idea we were|dealing with the Carringtons.
All we needed was a swimming pool|and some ball gowns to really end the evening right.
This is unbelievable.
I leave you people alone for an hour|and all hell breaks loose.
Let's talk about something happy.
|How was your paper? - It sucked.
|- Why did it suck? I just couldn't find the right hook.
It didn't feel focused enough.
I don't know.
|Professor Fleming's class is so hard.
Hon, I bet it was great.
You have to say that|'cause you're my mother.
No.
I'm not.
I've been looking|for the right time to tell you.
- Okay, I have to go now.
|- Yeah, me too.
Danish calls.
- Talk to parents.
|- I'll take advice from you - after that paper you turned in?|- Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Come on, I want to do a Heavenly Prayer.
Hold on.
I'm trying to do a Vulcan Sting and I just let you do|a Half Moon Death combo.
You didn't let me, I used my Soul Charge.
Guys, the band meeting|started 10 minutes ago.
We can hear and play|at the same time, Lane.
- What?|- What? Okay, fine.
I'm going to decide|the set list without you.
Gil, I think now would be a great time to add a little matchbox twenty|to our sound, don't you? - Thank you, Lane.
|- You're welcome, Zach.
Okay, let's do this.
- The gig is Friday night.
|- Who's taking care of the guest list? I need to put my wife down.
We got a sitter that night,|so we are free to party.
How many people|are we allowed to invite? My aunt Susan left my uncle Sid,|and she's staying with my parents and she's bringing my cousin, Turner.
- I'm sure that's fine.
|- He's always dressed like Zorro.
That still seems fine.
- He's 16.
|- One less wedding you're gonna - have to go to, my friend.
|- You don't know that.
Here.
What's this? It's the names of a couple of chicks|I met last night.
Put them on the list.
Why am I suddenly|in charge of the guest list? - Because you're the most reliable.
|- How very rock 'n' roll.
- Wait.
Is one of those names Dixie?|- Yes.
Wrong night.
I want you guys to see something.
I've been working on the flier for the gig.
Why is there a sandwich on it? I used a flier from the sandwich shop|to get the dimensions right.
It's just a prototype.
The real one won't|have the sandwich on it.
So, would there be a picture of us instead? Or put the band name|where the sandwich is.
Just the name, I think.
|Diagonal.
Across where the sandwich is.
Everyone needs to stop saying|"sandwich.
" I'm getting hungry.
- Me, too.
Do we have anything to eat?|- It was your turn to shop.
- Then, no.
|- Great.
What kind of sandwich is that? That's the Meatball Explosion.
That sounds fantastic.
I would dress up like Zorro|for a Meatball Explosion.
- Why would those be connected?|- It'd be like a dare.
- I ate cheesecake off the floor on a dare.
|- Cheesecake.
Cheesecake would be good|with the Meatball Explosion.
- Okay, fine.
|- Where are you going? I'm going to go to the store,|and I'm going to get us some food so maybe we can get back to work.
Okay? Thanks, Mom! Yeah, sure, that's exactly|what I meant to do.
Owen, good to see you.
- Yes.
Good to see you too, Jason.
|- You know, I was gonna call you about the changes|in those contracts I sent.
I'll call Richard about them tomorrow.
- Okay, or-|- Goodbye, Jason.
All of the woodwork was|hand-carved by a Union soldier that the owner, Mrs.
Tinley, took pity on|and nursed back to health.
He got better, went off slaughtered a few dozen|Confederate soldiers came back, and made the stairs.
Nice story, yes? Yes, your American history|is all over this inn.
Look, a deer.
I think I know that little guy.
He was here for breakfast this morning.
|Creep up quietly.
Take a better look.
I have these people|in the palm of my hand.
Travel agents are so easy.
|Are the horses washed? They're washed.
Because I don't want them|to be disgusted by smelly horses.
Trust me.
They've been hosed down|with New Car Scent.
They're great.
Okay, let's see.
They saw the deer,|we released the doves I've got the Stevens boy whitewashing the fence,|in short pants and a straw hat.
No one can manufacture a quaint,|small-town moment like you, Michel.
- Travel agents are coming back.
|- Adorable, yes? Okay, let me show you|the upstairs, the bedrooms.
What is that delicious scent? Why, I bet our amazing chef,|Sookie St.
James is experimenting with|her cookie recipe again.
Why don't we sneak into the kitchen and see if we can convince her|to give us a taste? Okay? Follow me.
- Coming through!|- Coming through! - Sookie.
|- I'm okay.
- What happened?|- Did you make your cookies? - Is it your foot?|- I don't think I broke it.
I didn't even hear a snap this time.
- What about the cookies?|- The cookies are on the counter.
Caramel-marshmallow-chocolate-chunk.
- Where are you taking her?|- Dr.
Su.
Great.
He's the best.
- Call me the minute you get there.
|- Okay.
God, I love having a kitchen again.
- Put the doctor on so I can talk to him.
|- I will.
- Hey.
|- What? - I'm back.
|- Okay.
- This is a nice surprise.
|- Apparently this is a day for surprises.
What's the matter? I spent the entire day|trying to track down your father.
Do you want to sit or plant or- I left messages at his house,|on his cell phone finally, I went to the office,|and he wasn't there.
Okay.
The only people that were there were two extremely uncomfortable|looking secretaries who practically threw their back out|to avoid eye contact with me.
- Why?|- Why? Yes.
A good question.
I asked myself the same thing.
And then|I got a call from Richard's lawyer.
- What did he want?|- To tell me that Richard is going back into business|with my father.
What? Jason, no,|my father wouldn't do that.
He did it.
- No, that company forced him out.
|- Now they have welcomed him back in.
He has his own boutique company|under their banner a big office, no overhead.
- There must be some-|- And he is taking all our clients with him.
I couldn't believe it.
I thought it was one of those|crazy, not-so-funny Billy-Crystal-at-the-Oscars kind of jokes so I spent the last two hours|calling every client I could and they're all gone.
The ones I brought in|from my father's company the ones I've brought in since.
All gone.
How could he do this? How could my father|just take the business from you? No.
He left me the business,|but without the clients the business consists of some stationery,|a coffee maker and some rubber pencil grips.
I don't understand.
|Why would my father do that? Because it's brilliant.
It's perfect.
|He gets my dad to drop the lawsuit he makes some extra cash,|and he's sitting pretty.
- Makes sense.
|- But he was your partner.
And now he's the guy running|around town, badmouthing me.
It is amazing.
|Your father has done a very thorough job.
I've got nothing.
|He has ruined my reputation.
What do I do now? I don't know.
Move? - Start over somewhere else? What?|- You can't move.
I have to work.
And he's making it pretty impossible|for me to work here.
Oh, my God.
|I'm gonna end up in Houston where all the financial wash-ups wash up.
It's gonna be me and the Enron boys smoking cigars while their|ankle cuffs beep in the background.
- What can I do?|- Nothing.
I just needed to vent.
I'm okay.
Thank you.
- Come in.
|- No, I can't.
I'll call you later.
"I saw then what I had not seen before.
"I saw the stoop of his shoulders,|the lines on his face "like a map of a country|I had once traveled with him.
"I hoped these marks of age|reflected wisdom "but I feared they were merely tokens,|purchased with lack of sleep "and the kind of artificial goodwill "that's squeezed from a man|in the public eye "like oil from a rag.
" Thank you.
You're very kind.
Thank you, Asher Fleming for that very moving excerpt|from your new novel, "Jaglon.
" It is an absolutely electric book.
Now, Professor Fleming has been|kind enough to give us one hour so if you line up behind the table,|you can get your book signed and then take them to|the cash register to purchase them.
- If you'll just follow me.
|- My pleasure.
God, he was great.
Wasn't he great? - He was very impressive.
|- He is so commanding.
It's obviously not necessary|for a brilliant novelist to also be an extraordinary public speaker,|but he is.
Yes, he is.
- And he's sexy as hell.
|- Teacher.
Mine.
Thanks.
Look at all these girls,|just flocking around him.
- They're so obvious.
|- Hello, there.
Hello, Professor Fleming.
|I can't tell you what a thrill this is.
- I'm flattered.
|- You're a genius.
Am I? How delightful.
- I'm buying a copy for everyone I know.
|- Then you should meet more people.
You'll make my publisher's day.
Who is she kidding? Like he can't see right through|the multiple-book-buying ploy? - What girl hasn't used that one?|- God knows I have.
- You want to go up and say hi?|- No, thanks.
You go.
We won't be disturbing him.
|I'm his girlfriend.
It's okay.
Really.
Are you hiding from him|because of your paper? I'm not hiding.
I just don't need to know how|much it sucks before it's time.
You might be overreacting.
No.
Smell that? What's that? Yeah.
I believe that's my paper.
|Thanks.
I'll stay here.
Please.
She's going to hover.
Pathetic.
Did I show you this? Look.
"To a wise, willful, wonderful woman.
" That's me.
He dedicated it to me.
- Wow.
That's very nice.
|- I know.
It's not very specific, but it's very nice.
What's he supposed to do,|write my name? - Perish the thought.
|- You know the situation.
I do.
As long as I know the "wise, willful,|wonderful woman" is me - who cares who else knows?|- You're right.
I'm sorry.
- I'm just stressed about my paper.
|- Don't take your loser paper out on me.
Is he out of water?|I'm going to get him some water.
- Paris, I'm sorry.
The dedication's nice.
|- Thanks.
Oh, yes.
Like they read.
This was a royal waste of my time.
|However, there were cookies.
- Hold some so I don't look like a pig.
|- You didn't enjoy the reading? I wasn't here to enjoy it.
I was here to cover it, for the paper|to go with the review of the book.
And then I arrive only to realize that every single|available girl at Yale is here - including four of my reporters.
|- I'm not here on paper business.
I'm here because I enjoy books,|and because I read books.
- Please.
|- I do.
- And Paris?|- She's with me.
- And Anna and Cassie?|- Point, Doyle? Everybody's here because Fleming's|an intellectual dreamboat.
- I'm not here for the dreamboat.
|- God, that man.
He's got a constant rotation going.
A new girl every year.
|Very young, of course.
Last year it was Trey Myers.
|God, was she beautiful.
She looked like a Swedish stewardess.
- Really?|- Yes.
Then they broke up at the end of the term,|and she rebounded with a drama major.
- So, any idea who he's seeing now?|- Actually, no.
This year's girl is a bit of a mystery.
Maybe he's already broken up with one,|and he's trolling for another.
My money's on the redhead.
Hi.
I'm looking for my father.
- Big guy, bow tie.
|- Mr.
Gilmore's in the living room.
Thank you.
- You're here.
|- Lorelai.
- I didn't know you were coming over.
|- I called.
Yes.
I haven't been in the mood to talk.
- We need to.
|- I felt like reading.
- Why are you doing this, Dad?|- Reading is good for you.
You learn things.
Jason was your partner.
If we are going to discuss this,|let's go into my office.
Jason was your partner,|and he said he was gonna take care of it.
- Lorelai-|- No, I'm fine talking right here.
Jason said he was|taking care of everything and you didn't even give him a chance|before you cut him out- - This is business.
|- No, you took everything from him, Dad.
You're ruining his reputation.
You're making it impossible|for him to work.
I did what I had to do.
- You didn't have to do this.
|- Thank you for your opinion.
That company was so horrible to you.
They treated you like dirt,|they forced you out - and you chose them over him?|- I am not choosing- I just don't understand|why you would do this.
Is it because of me? - Are you taking this out on him because-|- Did you not hear what the man said? Did you not hear Floyd threaten to go|after everything your mother and I have? - Yes-|- Everything I've worked for.
This house our livelihood.
There has to be something else|you can do.
- Go home, Lorelai.
|- No, Dad, please I'm sorry that I lied to you|about dating Jason but you can't destroy him like this.
I'm hardly destroying him.
You took his entire business.
|You've left him with nothing.
- He's talking about moving.
Leaving.
|- So what? So? I'm in a relationship with him.
- Then go with him.
|- You know I can't go with him.
I have a business,|I have a house, I have Rory.
I can't just pick up and leave.
- Then, you've made your choice.
|- Dad, stop it.
I am tired of this, Lorelai.
You've shown absolutely no concern|about what happens to me what happens to your mother.
You only care about|what happens to your boyfriend! And the worst part of it is that I never expected you|to act any differently.
Is it really necessary? - Is what really necessary?|- Going after Jason like this.
- I didn't know you were a fan of Jason's.
|- I'm not.
I'm just concerned.
What are you concerned about, Emily? It took us a long time to get|Lorelai back into this house and she is dating Jason.
What are you saying? I worry that if you do this,|you'll drive Lorelai away again.
- And if she goes, Rory might go.
|- She lied to us.
To you.
To me.
I am very well aware of what she did.
The last time I checked,|you didn't care for being lied to.
Don't be condescending.
|I don't like being lied to.
We can't control what Lorelai will do.
|Rory won't go away.
I'm doing what I have to do.
Who does she think she is? Walking out of my house|like she owned the place.
Your mom didn't just go out|and get another kid.
Korea is where you go|to get new kids.
Ask anyone.
There has to be another explanation.
The explanation is, I've been replaced.
- You have not been replaced.
|- She was wearing my bunny sweater.
You hated that sweater.
|That's why you left it there.
She also had|my second-least-favorite scarf and she was eating my apple.
What apple? The one my mom would give me|if I was still there.
Which you don't.
|By your own choice, might I add.
- Now you're taking her side.
|- I'm not taking her side.
I've been replaced.
Drop by when you're in town,|meet your new best friend.
Tip her well when she waits on you|at Luke's.
Head over to the church|with her, share a pew.
My mom has found a new daughter.
I bet this one can needlepoint.
I've got to go.
Paris said I could use|10 daytime minutes on her phone and then, her exorbitant|prevailing rates apply.
I'll call you back when I get to my room.
- Are you coming to the gig on Friday?|- Yes.
What time do you go on? -8:00, which means 8:30.
|- Shoot.
Friday night dinner.
- I forgot.
|- I don't think I'll make it in time.
That's okay.
- But I want to see your gig.
|- We will have other gigs.
By then the other Lane|will be drumming in the band.
As long as she's got a good downbeat Have you gone out for the pep squad yet? - I'll call you in a little while.
Bye.
|- Bye.
- Excuse me.
|- Right.
A B-minus.
Thank God.
- Not bad.
|- Are you kidding? A B-minus in Fleming's class is like|an "A" anywhere else in sane America.
Let's celebrate.
- College is loud!|- Yes, it's part of our training.
It's right up there with the bad food,|the sleep deprivation and how to hold your own hair|while throwing up.
- What are you doing here?|- Inn stuff.
I had to pick up hinges|and doorknobs and faucets.
And I figured, while I was|in the 'hood, I'd drop this off.
- Thanks.
|- You're welcome.
You didn't have to do that.
You could've given it to me|at Friday night dinner.
I could have.
Unless you're not going for it.
- You're not going to Friday night dinner.
|- Rory? - Why?|- Things have gotten worse.
How could they be worse?|They were already at worse.
Dad is going after Jason, and it's complicated, but it's really bad.
And I went there|to try to talk to him about it and he was horrible.
|He said awful things to me.
- Like what?|- Like things.
It doesn't matter,|but I can't just go and sit there and make small talk and|pretend that everything's okay.
- Mom-|- Because it's not okay.
You were mad, he was mad,|you said some things- - No, Rory.
|- No.
Now, I don't doubt that it was bad.
You and Grandpa|can make each other crazy but maybe once he calmed down,|he was sorry.
- He is not sorry.
|- You could be wrong.
Maybe if we go over there and give him a chance|to make it right, he would.
Boy, honey, you're living|in fuzzy-puppy land.
It's important to me|you don't back out of these dinners.
It's the only time|the whole family gets together.
Sometimes, it's the only time|that I get to see you and I like having it there.
- It's really important to me.
|- Rory, come on.
I'm serious.
Please, just give him a chance|to make it up to you.
Please.
I'll be there.
I'll be your buffer.
- You will?|- Absolutely.
They can focus on me,|you can focus on me.
What about when he throws|his glass of water in my face? Then I will get very wet.
- I'm holding you to that.
|- Yes.
Wow.
Caesar, I need a turkey burger,|fries, well done and I'm still waiting for|that grilled cheese and tomato.
- Patience is a virtue.
|- Light a candle, and tell it to the pope.
- I want my grilled cheese, "pronto.
"|- Excuse me, Lane? Yes, Kirk.
- I'm a little confused.
|- About what, Kirk? I'm looking at this flier you gave me and what exactly do you|have to do to get the sandwich? What? Does everyone who shows up|get a sandwich? Or is it first come, first sandwich? That's a mistake.
|The sandwich isn't supposed to be there.
- What are you saying?|- I'm saying that's just a flier for our band.
- We're playing Friday at 8:30.
|- So, there's no sandwiches? - No.
|- Then, why would I go? To hear some great music.
- Can I bring my own sandwich?|- Lane.
I know it's time for your break now but is it okay if I let Caesar take his? He owes me a grilled cheese.
I'll do it.
He's gotta go|to the bank or something.
To be honest, I wasn't paying|too much attention - because he was bugging me.
|- No problem.
Thanks.
I'm taking my 10! That looks like it travels well.
- Who are you?|- Hi.
- What are you doing here?|- Where? - Why are you living in my house?|- Your house? - That house right there.
It's mine.
|- I'm staying there.
- Why? Are we related?|- I hope not.
- How do you know Mrs.
Kim?|- I am exchange student from Seoul.
I'm here for three months,|and Mrs.
Kim is my host.
- Exchange student?|- Yes.
- Who are you?|- I'm Mrs.
Kim's daughter.
- She did tell you she had a daughter?|- Yes.
She does, and it's me.
You can try whatever you want.
|I will still be her daughter.
Why are you so mad? - Because you stole my life.
|- I did not steal your life.
You're living in my room.
|You're wearing my clothes.
And don't tell me|you always looked like that.
I'm not very crazy! How'd you like it|if I moved into your house? Why don't you just go back home? You don't have to feel sorry for Mrs.
Kim!|Mrs.
Kim is fine! And give me back my sweater,|and my second-least-favorite scarf! On Tuesday we'll continue our look|at neglect of the individual as a hallmark of modern government.
Be prepared to discuss Kafka's "The TriaI.
" Yes, if all goes well, it'll get very ugly.
Thank you, everyone.
Very nice job on your paper, Miss Gilmore.
Thank you.
You know, Professor Fleming I was actually a little|surprised by my grade.
Were you? You deserved it.
You did good work.
To be honest, I don't feel like I did.
- A perfectionist.
|- No, I'm not a perfectionist.
I just know when I do well|and when I don't.
You know, this sounds as if|you're questioning your grade.
Maybe I am.
This is a first.
Today alone, I've heard complaints|from two "Ds" four "Cs", and an "F", but not from an "A.
" In fact, in 35 years of teaching I've never heard from an "A.
" I just want to be sure|that the grade I got is what I deserve.
What exactly are you saying? Just that if the grade I got wasn't legitimately earned,|then I have no interest in it.
How very noble of you.
I intend to earn all of my grades.
|I don't want any favors.
And why exactly would you think that I'd be inclined|to grant you any favors? - I'm not saying that you are.
|- You're not? Then I must have|misunderstood this conversation.
- I'm just saying that-|- Yes? That I want to earn all of my grades.
- Yes, you've already said that.
|- No matter how many "wise, willful, and wonderful women"|I know.
Have you quite finished? I suppose I have.
Before you go any further let me assure you that I do not|give grades that are not earned.
I gave you an "A" because|your argument was well structured your writing was clear and concise and you drew a connection|from Marsilius of Padua to Machiavelli|to the modern age of media that Ph.
D.
candidates would envy.
In fact, no one else's paper|was that thoroughly researched.
Except for the other person|who also got an "A.
" You did what was demanded,|and you did it well.
And I would seriously caution you|not to question my grading tactics again.
Okay.
Thanks for the "A.
" And the redhead has fat thighs.
- Come on.
|- There's no hurry.
We're early.
But we're here, we might as well|go in and get it over with.
Okay, just relax, why don't you? I would like to stop and smell|the roses, if you don't mind.
- Mom.
|- You're young and you don't understand.
I'm old, I'm dying, I'm gonna smell a rose.
I don't see a rose.
|I think there's one next door.
You're being a tad ridiculous.
Come on.
On a scale of one to a million how awful do you think tonight will be? How high a number did you think the walk up the driveway was? You know, I wonder which tack|my dad's gonna pick tonight.
I bet he goes with the silent treatment.
- Or maybe he won't.
|- Yeah, you're right.
He might prefer the full-on frontal assault.
You know, just constant mental flogging right from "ding-dong"|through till "drive safe.
" - At least he said "drive safe.
"|- No.
It wasn't him.
It was the maid.
Right.
Or maybe dad will be fine,|and Emily will be on the attack.
Yeah, a little "good cop-bad cop",|if you know what I mean.
Keep me on my toes.
|I won't be expecting that.
Except that you are.
Ready? Okay.
Wait, just wait.
We can still leave.
No.
Right now|is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience yells,|"Don't go in there! " I will be right beside you, okay? Okay.
But I'm telling you if my dad gets ugly, I'm out of there.
Lorelai.
Rory.
You're early.
- Yeah, no traffic.
|- No? That's very Come in.
- Did you hit much traffic?|- No.
No traffic at all.
Good.
Nothing like an hour stuck in traffic|to ruin your complete day.
Should I take your coats? - That's okay.
We can just put them here.
|- All right.
You're early,|so I'm not quite organized yet but, shall we have some drinks? - Okay.
|- All right.
There's no ice.
Do we need ice? Of course we need ice.
- There's some in the kitchen.
I'll go get it.
|- Okay.
He doesn't seem mad.
All depends on which definition|of "mad" you're going with.
Mom.
Lorelai.
Rory.
You're early.
Yeah, we didn't hit any traffic, so It's nice to see you.
- Where were you?|- When? - Just now.
|- I had to run out to the store.
- To get what?|- They were out.
- Emily, the girls are early.
|- I see that.
- Is that ice?|- Yes.
We need it to make the drinks.
Shoot.
You should take the bucket|into the kitchen the next time.
Yes, that would've been|the smart thing to do.
I was making drinks.
- So, Rory, how is school?|- It's fine.
- I just got an "A" on a paper.
|- That's wonderful.
- You gonna let go of that purse, Mom?|- What? You're holding pretty tightly|to your purse there.
- You look like someone's Tante Flickman.
|- I just - There.
|- Okay.
- It's new.
|- The purse? Yes, it's new.
I'm trying to break it in.
- Sure.
Otherwise, you'd get blisters.
|- Here we are.
- Lorelai.
|- Thank you.
Soda for Rory.
Emily.
Good.
Cheers.
So, Rory, how's school? Fine.
I just got an "A" on a paper.
- Has she told you about the traffic?|- Dinner's ready.
It is? It's only just 7:00 now.
I'm sorry.
What time did you want dinner? You didn't tell me, so- You know what? It's all right.
|We'll just eat now.
- Now?|- Okay.
- What do we do with-|- Just take your drinks to the table.
- Take our drinks to the|- I'll grab the cocktail napkins.
- Mom, you left your purse.
|- Yes.
- Mom.
|- What? - I was just kidding, Mom.
|- You.
Okay, so every time they ask you|about school or traffic just do a shot.
Thank you.
So what's for dessert? - We're not having dessert.
|- We're not? - I'm on a diet.
|- Americans are extremely fat.
- I think they prefer "Rubenesque.
"|- You're not fat, Grandma.
Thank you, Lorelai.
She was close.
Well, okay.
If we're not having dessert,|then we should go.
- All right.
|- See you next Friday.
Thank you for coming.
- Thank you for having us.
|- Wait.
The Gordons gave us some|wonderful chocolate last week.
They brought it back from Belgium.
- You can take it with you.
|- No, Mom.
That's okay.
- We're fine.
|- These are really good chocolates, Lorelai.
- I'm sure they are, Dad.
|- Did you find them, Emily? - We can just get them next time.
|- Nonsense.
- You can eat them on the way home.
|- Here they are.
I've got them.
One for you and one for you.
- Enjoy.
|- We will.
Okay, we're leaving now.
- Have a good evening and get some sleep.
|- All right.
Good night.
- What the hell was that?|- I don't know.
Jack Nicholson and Angelina Jolie|just kicked us out with parting gifts.
Dessert to go.
As much as an early end|to Friday night dinner appeals to me that was just weird.
She made a tinfoil swan.
What was with the drinks and the|dinner? Where was she coming from? - I don't know.
|- She had to "run to the store" since when? - I don't know.
|- She came back with nothing.
And the purse.
Did you notice the purse? They say people change as they get older.
- I just didn't think it was all in one week.
|- There is something wrong here.
- Why is my mother's car here?|- She was in a hurry? My mother never parks her car|in the driveway because the car might drip oil|and make a spot on the concrete and then life as we know it would end.
- What are you doing?|- Just seeing what's in her car.
- Why?|- Because.
I don't know.
I just feel like something's up.
- She's coming.
|- Who? - Mom.
Hurry.
|- What are you doing? Good shoes.
- She's leaving.
Where's she going?|- I don't know.
She left her house with|dry cleaning, and she drove off? - She's meeting friends?|- Tonight, after dinner? Maybe.
I'm sorry.
This might be crazy, but is my mom not staying here tonight? Well Great gig.
Awesome gig.
You're starting to wheeze|on the beat, dude.
I've been practicing.
Man, I am feeling it.
|We have hit the next level.
- We have, haven't we?|- You heard the crowd.
Dude, what was with the shirt raise? When I'm playing like that,|there is no room for clothes.
We need a sign, because I was staring|right at you when you took it off.
I felt like putting $1 in your pants.
- I wouldn't turn it down.
|- Brian, honey.
Mom.
- You kids were excellent.
|- Thanks, Dad.
- Aunt Susan.
Turner.
|- Brian.
I brought carrot sticks.
- You want a carrot stick, Brian?|- Yeah, thanks.
- He really does wear a Zorro costume.
|- I got to go find my wife.
I'm so jazzed right now.
That was great! We have never played that good.
- You've never played that good.
|- Really? You've never given me|a compliment, ever.
What am I, your mother? What? - Who is that?|- I think it's his wife.
Seriously, that is just wrong.
He should celebrate.
|We all should celebrate.
Stay out all night, hit the clubs,|and talk about our "Rolling Stone" cover I'm thinking, the Garden of Eden theme.
Hi, Zach.
Shannon.
- You remembered?|- I can read a napkin, sweetheart.
- Nice pants.
|- You're a god.
And we shall discuss|this further at the bar.
So, what did you think of the lyrics? So I spent all morning on the phone calling every hotel in the area|with a decent high tea and there she was.
Grafton Hotel, Room 421.
|Check-out date: Indefinite.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe my parents are separated.
I dreamed about this as a kid.
Of course, my scenario also involved my mother finding|her inner Timothy Leary and moving us all out|to a commune in Berkeley, but still I was convinced that|these people should not be together but you know what? I was wrong.
Richard and Emily Gilmore|were made for each other.
God, this is so freaky.
And I'm not supposed to know,|and we won't talk about it because we don't do that in our family.
We repress everything,|and we refuse to go to therapy because why tell|a stranger your problems when you can use them|to punish those around you? So what now? Every Friday I'm supposed to pretend|that they still live together and then after we leave my mother will get in her car|and drive back to the hotel? The hotel.
My mother's living in a hotel.
|It's weird.
It's just incredibly weird.
I'm sorry.
I just needed to vent.
- You have every right.
|- I'm done now.
There's nothing I can do about them, so Talk to me.
|You were gonna tell me something.
I'm suing your father.
I have to, Lorelai.
No, you don't.
I've gone over it.
|I've weighed every option.
I have to respond.
I cannot just sit here and do nothing when my entire career|is going up in flames.
Jason, please.
Don't do this.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
|Maybe he'll settle.
- He won't settle.
|- It's just business.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sick of|hearing people say that.
You know I wouldn't do this|if I didn't have to.
You don't have to.
If I intend to continue working|in my chosen profession then, yeah, I have to.
Don't be just a business guy.
|Put this on another level.
Please.
- I can't.
|- Unbelievable.
Lorelai, I have no choice.
|I have to fight back.
- Jason.
|- I will keep you out of this.
I promise.
I can't be with someone|who's suing my family.
- Lorelai, come on.
|- I'm sorry.
- You saw what your father did to me.
|- I know what he did to you.
And he is not gonna stop|until there's nothing left.
- I'm asking you not to do this.
|- Ask me something else.
Anything else.
- This is what I want.
|- You know how hard I work.
My job is who I am.
I can't lose everything.
You have to understand|why I'm doing this.
I do understand.
But I can't be with someone|who's suing my family.
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