Impractical Jokers (2017) s04e19 Episode Script
Tied and Feathered
narrator: Coming up, why is sal involved in a low-speed chase? Sal involved in a low-speed chase? [ laughter .]
Chase? [ laughter .]
what's got joe hitting below the [ laughter .]
what's got joe hitting below the belt? What's got joe hitting below the belt? oh, my god! Belt? oh, my god! [ laughs .]
oh, my god! [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's getting benched in tonight's narrator: And which joker's getting benched in tonight's punishment? Getting benched in tonight's punishment? salad! Punishment? salad! prepare for something salad! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today, we're on the streets with this remote-control car and this remote.
With this remote-control car and this remote.
the catch is that's a fake This remote.
the catch is that's a fake remote.
the catch is that's a fake remote.
this is the real remote, and Remote.
this is the real remote, and the car will be controlled by this is the real remote, and the car will be controlled by the other guys.
no matter what happens with the remote-control car, the rule The remote-control car, the rule is you cannot say you're sorry.
Is you cannot say you're sorry.
if you say "sorry," you'll be if you say "sorry," you'll be sorry.
Sorry.
Wheel.
Wheel.
[ laughter .]
q, you ready with your fake remote? Remote? oh, my fake remote's ready.
oh, my fake remote's ready.
the game's easy.
the game's easy.
You just can't say "sorry.
" You just can't say "sorry.
" that's right.
that's right.
no matter what your car does, no matter what your car does, you can't say sorry.
all right.
You can't say sorry.
all right.
you know what I'm gonna do, all right.
you know what I'm gonna do, q.
you know what I'm gonna do, q.
[ laughter .]
Q.
[ laughter .]
come on! [ laughter .]
come on! back up and do it again.
Come on! back up and do it again.
oh! back up and do it again.
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! oh, god.
Oh, my god! oh, god.
Ugh.
oh, god.
Ugh.
[ laughter .]
Ugh.
[ laughter .]
he's not saying "sorry.
" [ laughter .]
he's not saying "sorry.
" your mother watches the show.
he's not saying "sorry.
" your mother watches the show.
Say you're sorry.
your mother watches the show.
Say you're sorry.
who's -- who's driving now? Say you're sorry.
who's -- who's driving now? joe -- joe's driving.
It's like you're taunting these poor people.
[ laughs .]
These poor people.
[ laughs .]
look at that guy's face.
[ laughs .]
look at that guy's face.
what's he waiting for? look at that guy's face.
what's he waiting for? he's staring at it, not q.
what's he waiting for? he's staring at it, not q.
yeah.
he's staring at it, not q.
yeah.
[ laughter .]
yeah.
[ laughter .]
oh.
Contact.
[ laughter .]
oh.
Contact.
you're an extremely patient oh.
Contact.
you're an extremely patient human being.
you're an extremely patient human being.
I don't know what to tell you.
Human being.
I don't know what to tell you.
[ laughter .]
I don't know what to tell you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
what an odd interaction.
Thank you.
what an odd interaction.
he's a nice guy.
what an odd interaction.
he's a nice guy.
but he's not saying, "I'm he's a nice guy.
but he's not saying, "I'm sorry.
" but he's not saying, "I'm sorry.
" [ ding! .]
sick trick.
Sick trick.
it's "sick trick" gatto in it's "sick trick" gatto in the house.
The house.
sick trick.
sick trick.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
sick trick.
Sick trick.
I'm out here all day.
I'm out here all day.
I do 'em.
I do 'em.
Sick trick! Sick trick! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
sick trick! Sick trick! Okay.
I do sick tricks! Okay.
I do sick tricks! Toe touch! Sick trick! Toe touch! Sick trick! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
this is a joe gatto trick.
this is a joe gatto trick.
This isn't gonna -- what he's done is he's distracted us from This isn't gonna -- what he's done is he's distracted us from going to other people by making Done is he's distracted us from going to other people by making us laugh.
Going to other people by making us laugh.
what? Us laugh.
what? What are you talking about? what? What are you talking about? yeah, yeah, exactly.
What are you talking about? yeah, yeah, exactly.
So we're gonna spend all our yeah, yeah, exactly.
So we're gonna spend all our time making you do sick tricks So we're gonna spend all our time making you do sick tricks and not harassing anybody.
Time making you do sick tricks and not harassing anybody.
whew! And not harassing anybody.
whew! Finally got some good weather.
whew! Finally got some good weather.
Can take out wheels.
Finally got some good weather.
Can take out wheels.
[ laughs .]
Can take out wheels.
[ laughs .]
"I can take out wheels.
" you normally comes out to the union square, no? Union square, no? yeah.
I work around here.
yeah.
I work around here.
oh, do you? oh, do you? yeah.
yeah.
cool.
cool.
This is my favorite, 'cause the This is my favorite, 'cause the people watching here, you can't People watching here, you can't beat.
Beat.
What do you think about the new What do you think about the new Yeah? Yeah? I mean, I got -- I got this guy I mean, I got -- I got this guy at radio shack, not best buy.
At radio shack, not best buy.
Um Um I'm an enthusiast.
I'm an enthusiast.
an enthusiast of what? I'm a radio-car enthusiast.
an enthusiast of what? I'm a radio-car enthusiast.
[ laughs .]
I'm a radio-car enthusiast.
[ laughs .]
watch this sick trick.
[ laughs .]
watch this sick trick.
[ laughs .]
watch this sick trick.
[ laughs .]
call me! [ laughs .]
call me! You see that? Call me! You see that? That's how I get the girls.
You see that? That's how I get the girls.
Now she knows.
That's how I get the girls.
Now she knows.
Now I'm on her radar.
Now she knows.
Now I'm on her radar.
what does she know? Now I'm on her radar.
what does she know? She knows you're a lunatic.
yo, enjoy yourself, all right? Right? I will.
I will.
if you ever want to hang out, if you ever want to hang out, I'm out here all the time.
I'm out here all the time.
Gotcha.
Gotcha on the way out, Gotcha.
Gotcha on the way out, too.
Too.
Keep -- keep sharp.
Keep -- keep sharp.
[ ding! .]
we got to borrow this car one second.
Second.
we're gonna bring the car we're gonna bring the car back in, buddy.
Back in, buddy.
the car's got to come in to the car's got to come in to the shop.
The shop.
what's going on? what's going on? You got hijinks going on? yeah, we got hijinks.
You got hijinks going on? yeah, we got hijinks.
shut him off.
Shut him off.
yeah, we got hijinks.
shut him off.
Shut him off.
the note says, "read me," and shut him off.
Shut him off.
the note says, "read me," and it says "sick bod, bro.
the note says, "read me," and it says "sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" It says "sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" [ laughs .]
Brunch?" [ laughs .]
we're gonna send that to our [ laughs .]
we're gonna send that to our friend there.
we're gonna send that to our friend there.
what's taped to the car? Friend there.
what's taped to the car? there's been an upgrade.
what's taped to the car? there's been an upgrade.
There's been an upgrade to the there's been an upgrade.
There's been an upgrade to the machinery.
There's been an upgrade to the machinery.
it's now a message-delivery Machinery.
it's now a message-delivery service, my friend.
it's now a message-delivery service, my friend.
come on.
Guys, this is awful.
here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
what's it -- no? what's it -- no? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
let me see what it says.
Let me see what it says.
"sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" no.
"sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" no.
I'm sorry.
No.
I'm sorry.
Ah! I'm sorry.
Ah! [ laughter .]
Ah! [ laughter .]
I suck at this.
[ laughter .]
I suck at this.
[ buzzer .]
I suck at this.
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
make sal run for it.
Go, go.
Go, go.
no, no.
no, no.
[ laughter .]
I wasn't sorry.
field-trip time, buddy.
let's take a field trip.
field-trip time, buddy.
let's take a field trip.
Come on.
let's take a field trip.
Come on.
follow that car.
Come on.
follow that car.
[ laughs .]
follow that car.
[ laughs .]
don't do nothing crazy.
[ laughs .]
don't do nothing crazy.
no, of course not.
don't do nothing crazy.
no, of course not.
[ laughs .]
no, of course not.
[ laughs .]
I don't like this at all.
[ laughs .]
I don't like this at all.
just follow the car.
I don't like this at all.
just follow the car.
follow that car.
Just follow the car.
wait.
Where are you going? go.
Follow it.
E you going? follow the car.
follow the car.
oh, no.
oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
[ horns honking .]
[ horns honking .]
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
He's gonna get killed.
He's gonna get killed.
sal, look out, buddy.
sal, look out, buddy.
[ horns honking .]
[ horns honking .]
uh Uh Uh Uh [ horn honks .]
[ horn honks .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh.
Oh.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! [ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Murr and sal were narrator: Murr and sal were two sorry sights, so they're first up on the loser board.
Two sorry sights, so they're first up on the loser board.
today, we're at First up on the loser board.
today, we're at buddy's small lots going head to today, we're at buddy's small lots going head to head, tournament style, asking Buddy's small lots going head to head, tournament style, asking customers to settle a ridiculous Head, tournament style, asking customers to settle a ridiculous debate.
Customers to settle a ridiculous debate.
but the topics that we're Debate.
but the topics that we're debating will be given to us by but the topics that we're debating will be given to us by the other guys.
we'll have to get the customer to take our side, no Customer to take our side, no matter how bizarre our stance Matter how bizarre our stance is.
Is.
if you can't get a stranger if you can't get a stranger to take your side, you lose.
To take your side, you lose.
have you guys seen this? have you guys seen this? what's that? what's that? my shiney hiney my shiney hiney anal-bleaching kit.
Anal-bleaching kit.
no.
no.
yes.
yes.
This is passion fruit.
This is passion fruit.
And this is, uh -- this is a And this is, uh -- this is a whitening cream.
And then they have a lemon -- Whitening cream.
And then they have a lemon -- they have lemon -- lemon And then they have a lemon -- they have lemon -- lemon vinaigrette.
They have lemon -- lemon vinaigrette.
lemon vinaigrette?! Vinaigrette.
lemon vinaigrette?! that's what they have.
lemon vinaigrette?! that's what they have.
that's not true.
that's what they have.
that's not true.
wait a minute.
that's not true.
wait a minute.
Now I'm interested.
wait a minute.
Now I'm interested.
lemon vinaigrette.
Now I'm interested.
lemon vinaigrette.
show the camera right now.
lemon vinaigrette.
show the camera right now.
lemon -- oh, it's lemon show the camera right now.
lemon -- oh, it's lemon verbena.
lemon -- oh, it's lemon verbena.
oh! Verbena.
oh! lemon vinaigrette for your oh! lemon vinaigrette for your ass[bleep.]
lemon vinaigrette for your ass[bleep.]
[ chuckles .]
hi, ma'am.
We can help you over here.
We can help you over here.
how are you? how are you? Cold.
I know.
Cold.
I know.
we're having a little debate.
we're having a little debate.
I'm hoping maybe you could help I'm hoping maybe you could help us out.
Us out.
murr, "I say I'm more of a murr, "I say I'm more of a hopeless romantic.
" Hopeless romantic.
" I say that I'm more of a I say that I'm more of a hopeless romantic.
Hopeless romantic.
"and I say he should tell his "and I say he should tell his wife about his affairs.
" Wife about his affairs.
" and I say he should tell his and I say he should tell his wife about his affairs.
Wife about his affairs.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
look at murr already.
look at murr already.
[ chuckles .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
let me explain, okay? I am romantic.
let me explain, okay? I am romantic.
I-I fall in love at the drop of I am romantic.
I-I fall in love at the drop of a coin.
I-I fall in love at the drop of a coin.
My wife's at home raising the A coin.
My wife's at home raising the kids and doing a swell job at My wife's at home raising the kids and doing a swell job at it.
Kids and doing a swell job at it.
[ laughter .]
It.
[ laughter .]
I-I'm too much of a romantic [ laughter .]
I-I'm too much of a romantic to -- to be limited to one I-I'm too much of a romantic to -- to be limited to one single woman.
To -- to be limited to one single woman.
and I say if that's how you Single woman.
and I say if that's how you feel, one, why did you get and I say if that's how you feel, one, why did you get married, two, why are you still Feel, one, why did you get married, two, why are you still married, three, tell your wife Married, two, why are you still married, three, tell your wife so she can make her own Married, three, tell your wife so she can make her own decision, four, he's a dirty So she can make her own decision, four, he's a dirty scumbag.
Decision, four, he's a dirty scumbag.
[ laughter .]
Scumbag.
[ laughter .]
so -- so, would you say he's a [ laughter .]
so -- so, would you say he's a hopeless romantic or would you So -- so, would you say he's a hopeless romantic or would you say he should tell his wife Hopeless romantic or would you say he should tell his wife about the multiple, multiple Say he should tell his wife about the multiple, multiple affairs? [ ding! .]
yeah! Yeah! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
please, I'll buy it right please, I'll buy it right now.
Now.
Can you bleach your ass[bleep.]
Can you bleach your ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
please? Please? no.
no.
dude, I will buy this right dude, I will buy this right now.
Now.
murray bought it.
murray bought it.
no, he didn't.
no, he didn't.
murray bought it.
murray bought it.
It's his.
In the back.
It's his.
In the back.
for what? for what? for my ass[bleep.]
for my ass[bleep.]
I wish I could say that this I wish I could say that this was the weirdest moment in my Was the weirdest moment in my friendship with you.
Friendship with you.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
I really wish I could say.
I really wish I could say.
there's different brushes.
there's different brushes.
well, not all ass[bleep.]
are well, not all ass[bleep.]
are the same.
The same.
wow.
wow.
I'm glad I'm on the floor.
maybe he can help us.
we're in the middle of a debate, my friend and I.
we're in the middle of a debate, my friend and I.
what's the worst injury Debate, my friend and I.
what's the worst injury what is the worst injury what's the worst injury what is the worst injury the time I pulled my gloop.
what is the worst injury the time I pulled my gloop.
the time I pulled my gloop.
the time I pulled my gloop.
the time I pulled my gloop.
"or," sal, "the time I tore the time I pulled my gloop.
"or," sal, "the time I tore my flubs.
" "or," sal, "the time I tore my flubs.
" I think it's the time I tore My flubs.
" I think it's the time I tore my flubs.
[ laughter .]
when I get out of bed in the morning, my gloop acts up.
When I get out of bed in the morning, my gloop acts up.
I'm done.
Yeah, gloop.
Right up in here.
This part here.
This part here.
he can have his gloop removed.
he can have his gloop removed.
You don't need your gloop.
Removed.
You don't need your gloop.
You don't need your gloop to You don't need your gloop.
You don't need your gloop to live.
You don't need your gloop to live.
ah! Live.
ah! you don't need a gloop.
ah! you don't need a gloop.
nice.
you don't need a gloop.
nice.
I was skiing, and I hit, nice.
I was skiing, and I hit, like, a mini-mogul, and I did -- I was skiing, and I hit, like, a mini-mogul, and I did -- I did a thing.
Like, a mini-mogul, and I did -- I did a thing.
I pulled my flubs.
I did a thing.
I pulled my flubs.
I used to work stock here, I pulled my flubs.
I used to work stock here, but then I couldn't get to the I used to work stock here, but then I couldn't get to the top 'cause the gloop But then I couldn't get to the top 'cause the gloop [ laughter .]
Top 'cause the gloop [ laughter .]
you know what else? [ laughter .]
you know what else? Insurance doesn't cover flubs.
you know what else? Insurance doesn't cover flubs.
or gloops.
Insurance doesn't cover flubs.
or gloops.
no, they do.
or gloops.
no, they do.
My sister is the biggest gloop no, they do.
My sister is the biggest gloop doctor on staten island.
My sister is the biggest gloop doctor on staten island.
your sister knows how I Doctor on staten island.
your sister knows how I pulled the gloop, too.
your sister knows how I pulled the gloop, too.
hey, hey, hey! Pulled the gloop, too.
hey, hey, hey! [ laughter .]
hey, hey, hey! [ laughter .]
in your opinion, gloop or [ laughter .]
in your opinion, gloop or flub -- what's worse? Right.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
Oh, my gloop! Okay.
Oh, my gloop! flub! Oh, my gloop! flub! gloop.
flub! gloop.
my flub.
gloop.
my flub.
my gloop.
my flub.
my gloop.
[ laughter .]
my gloop.
[ laughter .]
gloop! [ laughter .]
gloop! flub! Gloop! flub! Oh, my god.
My flub.
flub! Oh, my god.
My flub.
You got the 20% off, then? Oh, my god.
My flub.
You got the 20% off, then? Oh, flub! You got the 20% off, then? Oh, flub! gloop! Oh, flub! gloop! [ laughter .]
gloop! [ laughter .]
you got to get a decision [ laughter .]
you got to get a decision guys.
so, you would say the flub is worse, then? Worse, then? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
I flubbed that one.
I flubbed that one.
flub for the win.
flub for the win.
[ dramatic music plays .]
[ dramatic music plays .]
maybe you should have read maybe you should have read the instructions.
The instructions.
[ screams .]
[ screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh! Oh! oh! oh, my god! oh! oh, my god! I go out there for a minute.
oh, my god! I go out there for a minute.
I leave you two alone for a I go out there for a minute.
I leave you two alone for a minute! I leave you two alone for a minute! what did you do? Minute! what did you do? You do -- what did you do? You do -- oh, my god.
You do -- oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god! Murray! [ laughs .]
oh, my god! Murray! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Murray! Oh, my god! I'm never gonna unsee what I Oh, my god! I'm never gonna unsee what I saw.
whoa! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh! oh! that's what you get for that's what you get for taking your ass out.
all righty.
How you doing today? All right? How you doing today? All right? it's q versus sal in the it's q versus sal in the championship round.
Championship round.
the championship round.
the championship round.
It all comes down to this.
It all comes down to this.
maybe he could help us out.
maybe he could help us out.
oh, yeah, yeah.
oh, yeah, yeah.
who's the better poet? who's the better poet? we've been debating who is we've been debating who is the better poet.
I think I'm the better poet.
The better poet.
I think I'm the better poet.
I think it's me.
I think I'm the better poet.
I think it's me.
I think I'm the better poet, of I think it's me.
I think I'm the better poet, of course.
I think I'm the better poet, of course.
how do we prove Course.
how do we prove well, why don't you, uh, tell how do we prove well, why don't you, uh, tell him your latest poem? well, why don't you, uh, tell him your latest poem? [ laughter .]
Him your latest poem? [ laughter .]
my latest poem, uh -- it goes [ laughter .]
my latest poem, uh -- it goes like this, uh -- look at those my latest poem, uh -- it goes like this, uh -- look at those eyes, though.
Like this, uh -- look at those eyes, though.
Is that the girl that I know? Eyes, though.
Is that the girl that I know? Maybe, maybe not.
Is that the girl that I know? Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that she's hot.
Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that she's hot.
[ laughter .]
All I know is that she's hot.
[ laughter .]
and she has green eyes like a [ laughter .]
and she has green eyes like a flower.
And she has green eyes like a flower.
And, oh, if she wanted to do Flower.
And, oh, if she wanted to do anything, I'd allow her.
And, oh, if she wanted to do anything, I'd allow her.
Including stuff in the front and Anything, I'd allow her.
Including stuff in the front and back.
Including stuff in the front and back.
[ chuckles .]
what? Back.
[ chuckles .]
what? UhI know.
[ chuckles .]
what? UhI know.
This is like a romance attack.
UhI know.
This is like a romance attack.
[ laughter .]
This is like a romance attack.
[ laughter .]
what do you got, man? [ laughter .]
what do you got, man? q, you're up.
what do you got, man? q, you're up.
here's my latest poem.
q, you're up.
here's my latest poem.
[ chuckles .]
here's my latest poem.
[ chuckles .]
backa, backa.
[ chuckles .]
backa, backa.
You in my way? Backa, backa.
You in my way? Gunshots, yo.
You in my way? Gunshots, yo.
I ain't no ho.
Gunshots, yo.
I ain't no ho.
[ laughter .]
I ain't no ho.
[ laughter .]
you talk to me like that? [ laughter .]
you talk to me like that? I hope someone's got your back.
You talk to me like that? I hope someone's got your back.
Because I'm here to say, I ain't I hope someone's got your back.
Because I'm here to say, I ain't scared of ray-ray.
Because I'm here to say, I ain't scared of ray-ray.
[ laughter .]
Scared of ray-ray.
[ laughter .]
also, who forgot to fill the [ laughter .]
also, who forgot to fill the ice-cube tray? Also, who forgot to fill the ice-cube tray? Milton did.
Ice-cube tray? Milton did.
[ laughter .]
My roommate.
oh.
oh.
so, who's the better poet? so, who's the better poet? Yes! Yes! [ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
he got it.
he got it.
sal's the best poet in town.
Sorry, q.
sal's the best poet in town.
Sorry, q.
There's a thumbs down.
Sorry, q.
There's a thumbs down.
[ buzzer .]
There's a thumbs down.
[ buzzer .]
[ chuckles .]
nice.
[ buzzer .]
[ chuckles .]
nice.
narrator: Sal had his poetry [ chuckles .]
nice.
narrator: Sal had his poetry in motion, landing everyone else narrator: Sal had his poetry in motion, landing everyone else on the loser board.
In motion, landing everyone else on the loser board.
today, we're at the On the loser board.
today, we're at the jersey gardens mall telling today, we're at the jersey gardens mall telling shoppers that we have the best Jersey gardens mall telling shoppers that we have the best news.
Shoppers that we have the best news.
except it's not gonna be good News.
except it's not gonna be good news, because it's gonna be except it's not gonna be good news, because it's gonna be given to us by the other guys.
the goal is to convince these people that your bad news is People that your bad news is actually good news.
Actually good news.
if you can't get them to say if you can't get them to say it's good news, you lose.
It's good news, you lose.
Have you heard the news, boys? Have you heard the news, boys? what's that? what's that? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
joker vs.
Joker challenge.
joker vs.
Joker challenge.
[ laughter .]
guys, I have the perfect approach.
Approach.
It's "shut up!" It's "shut up!" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
my nieces say it.
My nieces say it.
your nieces say, "shut up?" your nieces say, "shut up?" it doesn't mean to be quiet.
it doesn't mean to be quiet.
It just means, like, "oh, wow!" It just means, like, "oh, wow!" like "oh, snap.
" like "oh, snap.
" it's our "oh, snap.
" It's our "oh, snap.
" yeah.
It's our "oh, snap.
" yeah.
It's our "oh, snap.
" shut up! You got uggs? shut up! You got uggs? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
you told her to shut up, to be fair to her.
you told her to shut up, to be fair to her.
what?! I love teal.
Be fair to her.
what?! I love teal.
[ laughter .]
what?! I love teal.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! [ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! You got that scarf? [bleep.]
you! You got that scarf? [ laughter .]
You got that scarf? [ laughter .]
you got to rethink your [ laughter .]
you got to rethink your approach, buddy.
you got to rethink your approach, buddy.
yeah, man.
Approach, buddy.
yeah, man.
what? yeah, man.
what? Is there a victoria's secret in what? Is there a victoria's secret in here? Is there a victoria's secret in here? yes.
Here? yes.
where is that? yes.
where is that? over there.
where is that? over there.
is it? That's good news.
over there.
is it? That's good news.
That's awesome.
is it? That's good news.
That's awesome.
I actually have good news, too.
That's awesome.
I actually have good news, too.
yeah? I actually have good news, too.
yeah? yeah.
yeah? yeah.
"my parish burned to the yeah.
"my parish burned to the ground.
" "my parish burned to the ground.
" [ laughter .]
Ground.
" [ laughter .]
the whole parish.
[ laughter .]
the whole parish.
my parish burned to the the whole parish.
my parish burned to the ground.
my parish burned to the ground.
[ laughter .]
It was old.
No, no.
It was old, and now they're It was old, and now they're gonna rebuild it.
oh.
Gonna rebuild it.
oh.
unfortunately, it was during oh.
unfortunately, it was during mass.
unfortunately, it was during mass.
Everybody's -- everybody's gone.
Mass.
Everybody's -- everybody's gone.
[ laughter .]
Everybody's -- everybody's gone.
[ laughter .]
unfortunately, it was when [ laughter .]
unfortunately, it was when they lit the incense during unfortunately, it was when they lit the incense during mass.
They lit the incense during mass.
And, uh, I know you're looking Mass.
And, uh, I know you're looking at me like I'm a And, uh, I know you're looking at me like I'm a But you know what? At me like I'm a But you know what? I-I just -- I just learned a lot But you know what? I-I just -- I just learned a lot from the incident.
I-I just -- I just learned a lot from the incident.
"like I shouldn't set From the incident.
"like I shouldn't set parishes on fire.
" "like I shouldn't set parishes on fire.
" [ laughter .]
Parishes on fire.
" [ laughter .]
like I shouldn't set parishes [ laughter .]
like I shouldn't set parishes on fire.
I lit the incense.
But whatever happened next, actually, was up to a higher But whatever happened next, actually, was up to a higher power.
Actually, was up to a higher power.
So, good news, right? [ laughter .]
it'll be victoria's little secret.
It'll be victoria's little secret.
[ buzzer .]
Secret.
[ buzzer .]
nice try, sucker.
those eyebrows -- he really went overboard on those things.
Went overboard on those things.
go overboard.
go overboard.
They look [bleep.]
awesome.
They look [bleep.]
awesome.
yeah, for a teen girl.
yeah, for a teen girl.
what are you talking about, joe? what are you talking about, joe? Not only do you get your Joe? Not only do you get your eyebrows done.
Not only do you get your eyebrows done.
You got them done months before Eyebrows done.
You got them done months before I did, and you're the one who You got them done months before I did, and you're the one who told me to get mine done.
I did, and you're the one who told me to get mine done.
Boom! Told me to get mine done.
Boom! yeah, but you take it too Boom! yeah, but you take it too far.
yeah, but you take it too far.
yeah, you get manicured too Far.
yeah, you get manicured too much.
yeah, you get manicured too much.
my eyebrows look -- look Much.
my eyebrows look -- look popping.
my eyebrows look -- look popping.
oh, god.
I can't.
I can't.
[ laughter .]
guys, do you know where the guys, do you know where the food court is in this mall? Food court is in this mall? Oh, thank you so much.
Oh, thank you so much.
I've been lost for, like, 20 I've been lost for, like, 20 minutes.
Minutes.
I can tell you, by the way -- I can tell you, by the way -- I got to tell you, by the way -- I got to tell you, by the way -- I heard the best news today.
I heard the best news today.
"my eyebrows are popping.
" "my eyebrows are popping.
" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
my eyebrows are popping.
my eyebrows are popping.
Isn't that great news? You see how they have that Isn't that great news? You see how they have that threading? You see how they have that threading? yeah.
Threading? yeah.
and they look great.
yeah.
and they look great.
"even though they look like and they look great.
"even though they look like richard grieco's.
" "even though they look like richard grieco's.
" even though they look a Richard grieco's.
" even though they look a little bit like richard grieco.
even though they look a little bit like richard grieco.
You don't remember him from Little bit like richard grieco.
You don't remember him from "21 jump street?" You don't remember him from "21 jump street?" "not exactly like "21 jump street?" "not exactly like richard grieco.
" "not exactly like richard grieco.
" I mean, not exactly like Richard grieco.
" I mean, not exactly like richard grieco.
I mean, not exactly like richard grieco.
"he still has all his hair.
" Richard grieco.
"he still has all his hair.
" he -- [ sighs .]
"he still has all his hair.
" he -- [ sighs .]
[ laughter .]
he -- [ sighs .]
[ laughter .]
richard grieco still has his [ laughter .]
richard grieco still has his hair, though.
Richard grieco still has his hair, though.
Which I do, too, just less of Hair, though.
Which I do, too, just less of it.
Which I do, too, just less of it.
[ laughter .]
Thank you so much.
You two are two beautiful You two are two beautiful ladies.
Ladies.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
ah, but they never said it ah, but they never said it was good news.
Was good news.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
come on, man! come on, man! narrator: Murr just heard the narrator: Murr just heard the worst news.
He's tonight's big loser.
Worst news.
He's tonight's big loser.
james murray has lost, and He's tonight's big loser.
james murray has lost, and for his punishment, all he has james murray has lost, and for his punishment, all he has to do is enjoy a day in the For his punishment, all he has to do is enjoy a day in the park.
To do is enjoy a day in the park.
[ laughter .]
Park.
[ laughter .]
he's like king kong.
[ laughter .]
he's like king kong.
what's going on? he's like king kong.
what's going on? it's not gonna be good.
what's going on? it's not gonna be good.
oh, you wore your new it's not gonna be good.
oh, you wore your new sneakers today.
oh, you wore your new sneakers today.
Oh, that was a mistake.
Sneakers today.
Oh, that was a mistake.
[ laughter .]
Oh, that was a mistake.
[ laughter .]
it's a beautiful day in the [ laughter .]
it's a beautiful day in the park.
it's a beautiful day in the park.
There's a lot of people hanging yeah, a lot of characters, one might say, in the park.
A lot of characters.
One might say, in the park.
A lot of characters.
[ screams .]
A lot of characters.
[ screams .]
don't put that near me! [ screams .]
don't put that near me! I'm serious! Don't put that near me! I'm serious! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! I'm serious! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! Don't put that near me! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! Don't put that near me! sorry.
Don't put that near me! sorry.
Can you hold this for a minute? sorry.
Can you hold this for a minute? no, no, no.
Can you hold this for a minute? no, no, no.
no.
Just for a minute.
no, no, no.
no.
Just for a minute.
I got to take a phone call.
no.
Just for a minute.
I got to take a phone call.
Just for a minute.
I got to take a phone call.
Just for a minute.
[ laughter .]
Just for a minute.
[ laughter .]
[ screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ screams .]
oh, my god! [ screams .]
oh, my god! I just got to take a call.
Oh, my god! I just got to take a call.
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
I just got to take a call.
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
Don't put that near me.
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
Don't put that near me.
murr, they smell fear.
Relax.
Don't put that near me.
murr, they smell fear.
Relax.
aah! No! murr, they smell fear.
Relax.
aah! No! I just need to take this aah! No! I just need to take this call.
I just need to take this call.
what is -- Call.
what is -- yeah, I'm sorry.
what is -- yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no.
I can't -- yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no.
I can't -- he's got a phone call.
Yeah, no.
I can't -- he's got a phone call.
aah! he's got a phone call.
aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
[ whimpers, screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ whimpers, screams .]
get it off of my legs! [ whimpers, screams .]
get it off of my legs! you are a grown man! Get it off of my legs! you are a grown man! aah! you are a grown man! aah! It's between my legs! aah! It's between my legs! It's gonna bite me! It's between my legs! It's gonna bite me! bro, it's gonna think that It's gonna bite me! bro, it's gonna think that your balls are a mouse.
bro, it's gonna think that your balls are a mouse.
[ laughter .]
Your balls are a mouse.
[ laughter .]
take your [bleep.]
snakes! [ laughter .]
take your [bleep.]
snakes! I guess it's true -- ferrets take your [bleep.]
snakes! I guess it's true -- ferrets have a natural fear of snakes.
I guess it's true -- ferrets have a natural fear of snakes.
[ laughter .]
Have a natural fear of snakes.
[ laughter .]
oh, man.
I'm drenched -- [ laughter .]
oh, man.
I'm drenched -- drenched in sweat.
oh, man.
I'm drenched -- drenched in sweat.
almost like you played some Drenched in sweat.
almost like you played some sports? almost like you played some sports? yeah.
Sports? yeah.
almost like you ran a yeah.
almost like you ran a marathon? almost like you ran a marathon? ran a marathon or had a -- Marathon? ran a marathon or had a -- had a nice round of, uh ran a marathon or had a -- had a nice round of, uh nice workout.
Had a nice round of, uh nice workout.
Tennis, perhaps? nice workout.
Tennis, perhaps? you mind I practice some shot Tennis, perhaps? you mind I practice some shot in you? you mind I practice some shot in you? [ laughter .]
In you? [ laughter .]
yeah, I mind.
[ laughter .]
yeah, I mind.
I'm a human being.
yeah, I mind.
I'm a human being.
watch your balls, murr.
I'm a human being.
watch your balls, murr.
oh! watch your balls, murr.
oh! What an ass[bleep.]
oh! What an ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
What an ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! [ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! light him up! [bleep.]
you! light him up! ow! light him up! ow! [ screams .]
ow! [ screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ screams .]
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
get him! Oh [bleep.]
get him! oh! get him! oh! that got him! oh! that got him! how long does this punishment that got him! how long does this punishment go? how long does this punishment go? you know what? Go? you know what? Let's invite a friend that you you know what? Let's invite a friend that you guys introduce me to.
Let's invite a friend that you guys introduce me to.
right.
Guys introduce me to.
right.
aah! right.
aah! it's sloppy joe! aah! it's sloppy joe! sloppy joe! it's sloppy joe! sloppy joe! he's milk drunk.
sloppy joe! he's milk drunk.
sloppy joe! he's milk drunk.
sloppy joe! no, no, no, no.
Stop! sloppy joe! no, no, no, no.
Stop! Oh, my god.
no, no, no, no.
Stop! Oh, my god.
[ screams .]
Oh, my god.
[ screams .]
all: [ chanting.]
sloppy joe! [ screams .]
all: [ chanting.]
sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! all: [ chanting.]
sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! [ screams .]
Sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! [ screams .]
all: [ chanting .]
chug! Chug! [ screams .]
all: [ chanting .]
chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! all: [ chanting .]
chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! aah! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
all: Bye, sloppy joe! [ laughter .]
all: Bye, sloppy joe! oh, my god.
He's disgusting.
all: Bye, sloppy joe! oh, my god.
He's disgusting.
oh, we made a mess in the oh, my god.
He's disgusting.
oh, we made a mess in the park, guys.
oh, we made a mess in the park, guys.
and that's irresponsible of Park, guys.
and that's irresponsible of us as, uh, citizens.
and that's irresponsible of us as, uh, citizens.
let's send in the cleanup Us as, uh, citizens.
let's send in the cleanup crew.
let's send in the cleanup crew.
[ laughter .]
Crew.
[ laughter .]
oh, come on.
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
oh, come on.
[ laughs .]
murr, we got to wash the oh, come on.
[ laughs .]
murr, we got to wash the sloppy joe off you.
murr, we got to wash the sloppy joe off you.
aah! Sloppy joe off you.
aah! get him! Get him! aah! get him! Get him! at the ball wash get him! Get him! at the ball wash [ screams .]
at the ball wash [ screams .]
[ laughs .]
[ screams .]
[ laughs .]
all right! All right! [ laughs .]
all right! All right! well done, murr.
All right! All right! well done, murr.
You're all cleaned up.
well done, murr.
You're all cleaned up.
nice.
You're all cleaned up.
nice.
you know, murr, uh, back in nice.
you know, murr, uh, back in the day, they used to -- you you know, murr, uh, back in the day, they used to -- you know, they used to tar and The day, they used to -- you know, they used to tar and feather people.
Know, they used to tar and feather people.
[ chuckles .]
Feather people.
[ chuckles .]
come on.
[ chuckles .]
come on.
we couldn't find any tar.
Come on.
we couldn't find any tar.
oh [bleep.]
we couldn't find any tar.
oh [bleep.]
guys, these are my new shorts.
oh [bleep.]
guys, these are my new shorts.
Stop.
Guys, these are my new shorts.
Stop.
That's not funny, man.
Stop.
That's not funny, man.
Ah! That's not funny, man.
Ah! Come on! Ah! Come on! No, it's -- [ laughs .]
Come on! No, it's -- [ laughs .]
he looks like he was just No, it's -- [ laughs .]
he looks like he was just born.
he looks like he was just born.
[ laughter .]
Born.
[ laughter .]
here you go, fellas.
[ laughter .]
here you go, fellas.
all right.
All right.
here you go, fellas.
all right.
All right.
Here we go.
Ready? all right.
All right.
Here we go.
Ready? guys, guys, guys, guys.
Here we go.
Ready? guys, guys, guys, guys.
Aah! guys, guys, guys, guys.
Aah! [ laughter .]
Aah! [ laughter .]
[ screaming .]
[ screaming continues .]
finally you have your chicken legs.
[ laughter .]
Legs.
[ laughter .]
all right, murr.
[ laughter .]
all right, murr.
Now -- now your punishment's all right, murr.
Now -- now your punishment's about to start.
Now -- now your punishment's about to start.
what?! About to start.
what?! [ laughter .]
what?! [ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
this is the, uh, What the [bleep.]
this is the, uh, fruit salad 2000, my friend.
this is the, uh, fruit salad 2000, my friend.
is this dangerous? Fruit salad 2000, my friend.
is this dangerous? we got you, bud.
is this dangerous? we got you, bud.
[ chuckles .]
we got you, bud.
[ chuckles .]
how is this allowed in a [ chuckles .]
how is this allowed in a public park? how is this allowed in a public park? Oh, that helps.
Public park? Oh, that helps.
Oh Oh, that helps.
Oh [ laughs .]
there you go! [ screaming .]
[ screaming continues .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
we forgot the strawberries.
we forgot the strawberries.
no.
no.
Actually, what we forgot is the Actually, what we forgot is the keys to unlock those handcuffs.
Keys to unlock those handcuffs.
we got to go get the key.
we got to go get the key.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
guys, guys, come on.
guys, guys, come on.
later, buddy.
later, buddy.
guys! guys! I think that was very I think that was very well-done, fellas.
Well-done, fellas.
you know what, guys? you know what, guys? We're gonna be best friends We're gonna be best friends forever.
Chase? [ laughter .]
what's got joe hitting below the [ laughter .]
what's got joe hitting below the belt? What's got joe hitting below the belt? oh, my god! Belt? oh, my god! [ laughs .]
oh, my god! [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's [ laughs .]
narrator: And which joker's getting benched in tonight's narrator: And which joker's getting benched in tonight's punishment? Getting benched in tonight's punishment? salad! Punishment? salad! prepare for something salad! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today, we're on the streets with this remote-control car and this remote.
With this remote-control car and this remote.
the catch is that's a fake This remote.
the catch is that's a fake remote.
the catch is that's a fake remote.
this is the real remote, and Remote.
this is the real remote, and the car will be controlled by this is the real remote, and the car will be controlled by the other guys.
no matter what happens with the remote-control car, the rule The remote-control car, the rule is you cannot say you're sorry.
Is you cannot say you're sorry.
if you say "sorry," you'll be if you say "sorry," you'll be sorry.
Sorry.
Wheel.
Wheel.
[ laughter .]
q, you ready with your fake remote? Remote? oh, my fake remote's ready.
oh, my fake remote's ready.
the game's easy.
the game's easy.
You just can't say "sorry.
" You just can't say "sorry.
" that's right.
that's right.
no matter what your car does, no matter what your car does, you can't say sorry.
all right.
You can't say sorry.
all right.
you know what I'm gonna do, all right.
you know what I'm gonna do, q.
you know what I'm gonna do, q.
[ laughter .]
Q.
[ laughter .]
come on! [ laughter .]
come on! back up and do it again.
Come on! back up and do it again.
oh! back up and do it again.
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! oh, god.
Oh, my god! oh, god.
Ugh.
oh, god.
Ugh.
[ laughter .]
Ugh.
[ laughter .]
he's not saying "sorry.
" [ laughter .]
he's not saying "sorry.
" your mother watches the show.
he's not saying "sorry.
" your mother watches the show.
Say you're sorry.
your mother watches the show.
Say you're sorry.
who's -- who's driving now? Say you're sorry.
who's -- who's driving now? joe -- joe's driving.
It's like you're taunting these poor people.
[ laughs .]
These poor people.
[ laughs .]
look at that guy's face.
[ laughs .]
look at that guy's face.
what's he waiting for? look at that guy's face.
what's he waiting for? he's staring at it, not q.
what's he waiting for? he's staring at it, not q.
yeah.
he's staring at it, not q.
yeah.
[ laughter .]
yeah.
[ laughter .]
oh.
Contact.
[ laughter .]
oh.
Contact.
you're an extremely patient oh.
Contact.
you're an extremely patient human being.
you're an extremely patient human being.
I don't know what to tell you.
Human being.
I don't know what to tell you.
[ laughter .]
I don't know what to tell you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
what an odd interaction.
Thank you.
what an odd interaction.
he's a nice guy.
what an odd interaction.
he's a nice guy.
but he's not saying, "I'm he's a nice guy.
but he's not saying, "I'm sorry.
" but he's not saying, "I'm sorry.
" [ ding! .]
sick trick.
Sick trick.
it's "sick trick" gatto in it's "sick trick" gatto in the house.
The house.
sick trick.
sick trick.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
sick trick.
Sick trick.
I'm out here all day.
I'm out here all day.
I do 'em.
I do 'em.
Sick trick! Sick trick! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
sick trick! Sick trick! Okay.
I do sick tricks! Okay.
I do sick tricks! Toe touch! Sick trick! Toe touch! Sick trick! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
this is a joe gatto trick.
this is a joe gatto trick.
This isn't gonna -- what he's done is he's distracted us from This isn't gonna -- what he's done is he's distracted us from going to other people by making Done is he's distracted us from going to other people by making us laugh.
Going to other people by making us laugh.
what? Us laugh.
what? What are you talking about? what? What are you talking about? yeah, yeah, exactly.
What are you talking about? yeah, yeah, exactly.
So we're gonna spend all our yeah, yeah, exactly.
So we're gonna spend all our time making you do sick tricks So we're gonna spend all our time making you do sick tricks and not harassing anybody.
Time making you do sick tricks and not harassing anybody.
whew! And not harassing anybody.
whew! Finally got some good weather.
whew! Finally got some good weather.
Can take out wheels.
Finally got some good weather.
Can take out wheels.
[ laughs .]
Can take out wheels.
[ laughs .]
"I can take out wheels.
" you normally comes out to the union square, no? Union square, no? yeah.
I work around here.
yeah.
I work around here.
oh, do you? oh, do you? yeah.
yeah.
cool.
cool.
This is my favorite, 'cause the This is my favorite, 'cause the people watching here, you can't People watching here, you can't beat.
Beat.
What do you think about the new What do you think about the new Yeah? Yeah? I mean, I got -- I got this guy I mean, I got -- I got this guy at radio shack, not best buy.
At radio shack, not best buy.
Um Um I'm an enthusiast.
I'm an enthusiast.
an enthusiast of what? I'm a radio-car enthusiast.
an enthusiast of what? I'm a radio-car enthusiast.
[ laughs .]
I'm a radio-car enthusiast.
[ laughs .]
watch this sick trick.
[ laughs .]
watch this sick trick.
[ laughs .]
watch this sick trick.
[ laughs .]
call me! [ laughs .]
call me! You see that? Call me! You see that? That's how I get the girls.
You see that? That's how I get the girls.
Now she knows.
That's how I get the girls.
Now she knows.
Now I'm on her radar.
Now she knows.
Now I'm on her radar.
what does she know? Now I'm on her radar.
what does she know? She knows you're a lunatic.
yo, enjoy yourself, all right? Right? I will.
I will.
if you ever want to hang out, if you ever want to hang out, I'm out here all the time.
I'm out here all the time.
Gotcha.
Gotcha on the way out, Gotcha.
Gotcha on the way out, too.
Too.
Keep -- keep sharp.
Keep -- keep sharp.
[ ding! .]
we got to borrow this car one second.
Second.
we're gonna bring the car we're gonna bring the car back in, buddy.
Back in, buddy.
the car's got to come in to the car's got to come in to the shop.
The shop.
what's going on? what's going on? You got hijinks going on? yeah, we got hijinks.
You got hijinks going on? yeah, we got hijinks.
shut him off.
Shut him off.
yeah, we got hijinks.
shut him off.
Shut him off.
the note says, "read me," and shut him off.
Shut him off.
the note says, "read me," and it says "sick bod, bro.
the note says, "read me," and it says "sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" It says "sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" [ laughs .]
Brunch?" [ laughs .]
we're gonna send that to our [ laughs .]
we're gonna send that to our friend there.
we're gonna send that to our friend there.
what's taped to the car? Friend there.
what's taped to the car? there's been an upgrade.
what's taped to the car? there's been an upgrade.
There's been an upgrade to the there's been an upgrade.
There's been an upgrade to the machinery.
There's been an upgrade to the machinery.
it's now a message-delivery Machinery.
it's now a message-delivery service, my friend.
it's now a message-delivery service, my friend.
come on.
Guys, this is awful.
here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
what's it -- no? what's it -- no? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
let me see what it says.
Let me see what it says.
"sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" no.
"sick bod, bro.
Brunch?" no.
I'm sorry.
No.
I'm sorry.
Ah! I'm sorry.
Ah! [ laughter .]
Ah! [ laughter .]
I suck at this.
[ laughter .]
I suck at this.
[ buzzer .]
I suck at this.
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
make sal run for it.
Go, go.
Go, go.
no, no.
no, no.
[ laughter .]
I wasn't sorry.
field-trip time, buddy.
let's take a field trip.
field-trip time, buddy.
let's take a field trip.
Come on.
let's take a field trip.
Come on.
follow that car.
Come on.
follow that car.
[ laughs .]
follow that car.
[ laughs .]
don't do nothing crazy.
[ laughs .]
don't do nothing crazy.
no, of course not.
don't do nothing crazy.
no, of course not.
[ laughs .]
no, of course not.
[ laughs .]
I don't like this at all.
[ laughs .]
I don't like this at all.
just follow the car.
I don't like this at all.
just follow the car.
follow that car.
Just follow the car.
wait.
Where are you going? go.
Follow it.
E you going? follow the car.
follow the car.
oh, no.
oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
[ horns honking .]
[ horns honking .]
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
He's gonna get killed.
He's gonna get killed.
sal, look out, buddy.
sal, look out, buddy.
[ horns honking .]
[ horns honking .]
uh Uh Uh Uh [ horn honks .]
[ horn honks .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh.
Oh.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! [ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Murr and sal were narrator: Murr and sal were two sorry sights, so they're first up on the loser board.
Two sorry sights, so they're first up on the loser board.
today, we're at First up on the loser board.
today, we're at buddy's small lots going head to today, we're at buddy's small lots going head to head, tournament style, asking Buddy's small lots going head to head, tournament style, asking customers to settle a ridiculous Head, tournament style, asking customers to settle a ridiculous debate.
Customers to settle a ridiculous debate.
but the topics that we're Debate.
but the topics that we're debating will be given to us by but the topics that we're debating will be given to us by the other guys.
we'll have to get the customer to take our side, no Customer to take our side, no matter how bizarre our stance Matter how bizarre our stance is.
Is.
if you can't get a stranger if you can't get a stranger to take your side, you lose.
To take your side, you lose.
have you guys seen this? have you guys seen this? what's that? what's that? my shiney hiney my shiney hiney anal-bleaching kit.
Anal-bleaching kit.
no.
no.
yes.
yes.
This is passion fruit.
This is passion fruit.
And this is, uh -- this is a And this is, uh -- this is a whitening cream.
And then they have a lemon -- Whitening cream.
And then they have a lemon -- they have lemon -- lemon And then they have a lemon -- they have lemon -- lemon vinaigrette.
They have lemon -- lemon vinaigrette.
lemon vinaigrette?! Vinaigrette.
lemon vinaigrette?! that's what they have.
lemon vinaigrette?! that's what they have.
that's not true.
that's what they have.
that's not true.
wait a minute.
that's not true.
wait a minute.
Now I'm interested.
wait a minute.
Now I'm interested.
lemon vinaigrette.
Now I'm interested.
lemon vinaigrette.
show the camera right now.
lemon vinaigrette.
show the camera right now.
lemon -- oh, it's lemon show the camera right now.
lemon -- oh, it's lemon verbena.
lemon -- oh, it's lemon verbena.
oh! Verbena.
oh! lemon vinaigrette for your oh! lemon vinaigrette for your ass[bleep.]
lemon vinaigrette for your ass[bleep.]
[ chuckles .]
hi, ma'am.
We can help you over here.
We can help you over here.
how are you? how are you? Cold.
I know.
Cold.
I know.
we're having a little debate.
we're having a little debate.
I'm hoping maybe you could help I'm hoping maybe you could help us out.
Us out.
murr, "I say I'm more of a murr, "I say I'm more of a hopeless romantic.
" Hopeless romantic.
" I say that I'm more of a I say that I'm more of a hopeless romantic.
Hopeless romantic.
"and I say he should tell his "and I say he should tell his wife about his affairs.
" Wife about his affairs.
" and I say he should tell his and I say he should tell his wife about his affairs.
Wife about his affairs.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
look at murr already.
look at murr already.
[ chuckles .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
let me explain, okay? I am romantic.
let me explain, okay? I am romantic.
I-I fall in love at the drop of I am romantic.
I-I fall in love at the drop of a coin.
I-I fall in love at the drop of a coin.
My wife's at home raising the A coin.
My wife's at home raising the kids and doing a swell job at My wife's at home raising the kids and doing a swell job at it.
Kids and doing a swell job at it.
[ laughter .]
It.
[ laughter .]
I-I'm too much of a romantic [ laughter .]
I-I'm too much of a romantic to -- to be limited to one I-I'm too much of a romantic to -- to be limited to one single woman.
To -- to be limited to one single woman.
and I say if that's how you Single woman.
and I say if that's how you feel, one, why did you get and I say if that's how you feel, one, why did you get married, two, why are you still Feel, one, why did you get married, two, why are you still married, three, tell your wife Married, two, why are you still married, three, tell your wife so she can make her own Married, three, tell your wife so she can make her own decision, four, he's a dirty So she can make her own decision, four, he's a dirty scumbag.
Decision, four, he's a dirty scumbag.
[ laughter .]
Scumbag.
[ laughter .]
so -- so, would you say he's a [ laughter .]
so -- so, would you say he's a hopeless romantic or would you So -- so, would you say he's a hopeless romantic or would you say he should tell his wife Hopeless romantic or would you say he should tell his wife about the multiple, multiple Say he should tell his wife about the multiple, multiple affairs? [ ding! .]
yeah! Yeah! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
please, I'll buy it right please, I'll buy it right now.
Now.
Can you bleach your ass[bleep.]
Can you bleach your ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
please? Please? no.
no.
dude, I will buy this right dude, I will buy this right now.
Now.
murray bought it.
murray bought it.
no, he didn't.
no, he didn't.
murray bought it.
murray bought it.
It's his.
In the back.
It's his.
In the back.
for what? for what? for my ass[bleep.]
for my ass[bleep.]
I wish I could say that this I wish I could say that this was the weirdest moment in my Was the weirdest moment in my friendship with you.
Friendship with you.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
I really wish I could say.
I really wish I could say.
there's different brushes.
there's different brushes.
well, not all ass[bleep.]
are well, not all ass[bleep.]
are the same.
The same.
wow.
wow.
I'm glad I'm on the floor.
maybe he can help us.
we're in the middle of a debate, my friend and I.
we're in the middle of a debate, my friend and I.
what's the worst injury Debate, my friend and I.
what's the worst injury what is the worst injury what's the worst injury what is the worst injury the time I pulled my gloop.
what is the worst injury the time I pulled my gloop.
the time I pulled my gloop.
the time I pulled my gloop.
the time I pulled my gloop.
"or," sal, "the time I tore the time I pulled my gloop.
"or," sal, "the time I tore my flubs.
" "or," sal, "the time I tore my flubs.
" I think it's the time I tore My flubs.
" I think it's the time I tore my flubs.
[ laughter .]
when I get out of bed in the morning, my gloop acts up.
When I get out of bed in the morning, my gloop acts up.
I'm done.
Yeah, gloop.
Right up in here.
This part here.
This part here.
he can have his gloop removed.
he can have his gloop removed.
You don't need your gloop.
Removed.
You don't need your gloop.
You don't need your gloop to You don't need your gloop.
You don't need your gloop to live.
You don't need your gloop to live.
ah! Live.
ah! you don't need a gloop.
ah! you don't need a gloop.
nice.
you don't need a gloop.
nice.
I was skiing, and I hit, nice.
I was skiing, and I hit, like, a mini-mogul, and I did -- I was skiing, and I hit, like, a mini-mogul, and I did -- I did a thing.
Like, a mini-mogul, and I did -- I did a thing.
I pulled my flubs.
I did a thing.
I pulled my flubs.
I used to work stock here, I pulled my flubs.
I used to work stock here, but then I couldn't get to the I used to work stock here, but then I couldn't get to the top 'cause the gloop But then I couldn't get to the top 'cause the gloop [ laughter .]
Top 'cause the gloop [ laughter .]
you know what else? [ laughter .]
you know what else? Insurance doesn't cover flubs.
you know what else? Insurance doesn't cover flubs.
or gloops.
Insurance doesn't cover flubs.
or gloops.
no, they do.
or gloops.
no, they do.
My sister is the biggest gloop no, they do.
My sister is the biggest gloop doctor on staten island.
My sister is the biggest gloop doctor on staten island.
your sister knows how I Doctor on staten island.
your sister knows how I pulled the gloop, too.
your sister knows how I pulled the gloop, too.
hey, hey, hey! Pulled the gloop, too.
hey, hey, hey! [ laughter .]
hey, hey, hey! [ laughter .]
in your opinion, gloop or [ laughter .]
in your opinion, gloop or flub -- what's worse? Right.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
Oh, my gloop! Okay.
Oh, my gloop! flub! Oh, my gloop! flub! gloop.
flub! gloop.
my flub.
gloop.
my flub.
my gloop.
my flub.
my gloop.
[ laughter .]
my gloop.
[ laughter .]
gloop! [ laughter .]
gloop! flub! Gloop! flub! Oh, my god.
My flub.
flub! Oh, my god.
My flub.
You got the 20% off, then? Oh, my god.
My flub.
You got the 20% off, then? Oh, flub! You got the 20% off, then? Oh, flub! gloop! Oh, flub! gloop! [ laughter .]
gloop! [ laughter .]
you got to get a decision [ laughter .]
you got to get a decision guys.
so, you would say the flub is worse, then? Worse, then? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
I flubbed that one.
I flubbed that one.
flub for the win.
flub for the win.
[ dramatic music plays .]
[ dramatic music plays .]
maybe you should have read maybe you should have read the instructions.
The instructions.
[ screams .]
[ screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh! Oh! oh! oh, my god! oh! oh, my god! I go out there for a minute.
oh, my god! I go out there for a minute.
I leave you two alone for a I go out there for a minute.
I leave you two alone for a minute! I leave you two alone for a minute! what did you do? Minute! what did you do? You do -- what did you do? You do -- oh, my god.
You do -- oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god! Murray! [ laughs .]
oh, my god! Murray! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Murray! Oh, my god! I'm never gonna unsee what I Oh, my god! I'm never gonna unsee what I saw.
whoa! [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh! oh! that's what you get for that's what you get for taking your ass out.
all righty.
How you doing today? All right? How you doing today? All right? it's q versus sal in the it's q versus sal in the championship round.
Championship round.
the championship round.
the championship round.
It all comes down to this.
It all comes down to this.
maybe he could help us out.
maybe he could help us out.
oh, yeah, yeah.
oh, yeah, yeah.
who's the better poet? who's the better poet? we've been debating who is we've been debating who is the better poet.
I think I'm the better poet.
The better poet.
I think I'm the better poet.
I think it's me.
I think I'm the better poet.
I think it's me.
I think I'm the better poet, of I think it's me.
I think I'm the better poet, of course.
I think I'm the better poet, of course.
how do we prove Course.
how do we prove well, why don't you, uh, tell how do we prove well, why don't you, uh, tell him your latest poem? well, why don't you, uh, tell him your latest poem? [ laughter .]
Him your latest poem? [ laughter .]
my latest poem, uh -- it goes [ laughter .]
my latest poem, uh -- it goes like this, uh -- look at those my latest poem, uh -- it goes like this, uh -- look at those eyes, though.
Like this, uh -- look at those eyes, though.
Is that the girl that I know? Eyes, though.
Is that the girl that I know? Maybe, maybe not.
Is that the girl that I know? Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that she's hot.
Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that she's hot.
[ laughter .]
All I know is that she's hot.
[ laughter .]
and she has green eyes like a [ laughter .]
and she has green eyes like a flower.
And she has green eyes like a flower.
And, oh, if she wanted to do Flower.
And, oh, if she wanted to do anything, I'd allow her.
And, oh, if she wanted to do anything, I'd allow her.
Including stuff in the front and Anything, I'd allow her.
Including stuff in the front and back.
Including stuff in the front and back.
[ chuckles .]
what? Back.
[ chuckles .]
what? UhI know.
[ chuckles .]
what? UhI know.
This is like a romance attack.
UhI know.
This is like a romance attack.
[ laughter .]
This is like a romance attack.
[ laughter .]
what do you got, man? [ laughter .]
what do you got, man? q, you're up.
what do you got, man? q, you're up.
here's my latest poem.
q, you're up.
here's my latest poem.
[ chuckles .]
here's my latest poem.
[ chuckles .]
backa, backa.
[ chuckles .]
backa, backa.
You in my way? Backa, backa.
You in my way? Gunshots, yo.
You in my way? Gunshots, yo.
I ain't no ho.
Gunshots, yo.
I ain't no ho.
[ laughter .]
I ain't no ho.
[ laughter .]
you talk to me like that? [ laughter .]
you talk to me like that? I hope someone's got your back.
You talk to me like that? I hope someone's got your back.
Because I'm here to say, I ain't I hope someone's got your back.
Because I'm here to say, I ain't scared of ray-ray.
Because I'm here to say, I ain't scared of ray-ray.
[ laughter .]
Scared of ray-ray.
[ laughter .]
also, who forgot to fill the [ laughter .]
also, who forgot to fill the ice-cube tray? Also, who forgot to fill the ice-cube tray? Milton did.
Ice-cube tray? Milton did.
[ laughter .]
My roommate.
oh.
oh.
so, who's the better poet? so, who's the better poet? Yes! Yes! [ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
he got it.
he got it.
sal's the best poet in town.
Sorry, q.
sal's the best poet in town.
Sorry, q.
There's a thumbs down.
Sorry, q.
There's a thumbs down.
[ buzzer .]
There's a thumbs down.
[ buzzer .]
[ chuckles .]
nice.
[ buzzer .]
[ chuckles .]
nice.
narrator: Sal had his poetry [ chuckles .]
nice.
narrator: Sal had his poetry in motion, landing everyone else narrator: Sal had his poetry in motion, landing everyone else on the loser board.
In motion, landing everyone else on the loser board.
today, we're at the On the loser board.
today, we're at the jersey gardens mall telling today, we're at the jersey gardens mall telling shoppers that we have the best Jersey gardens mall telling shoppers that we have the best news.
Shoppers that we have the best news.
except it's not gonna be good News.
except it's not gonna be good news, because it's gonna be except it's not gonna be good news, because it's gonna be given to us by the other guys.
the goal is to convince these people that your bad news is People that your bad news is actually good news.
Actually good news.
if you can't get them to say if you can't get them to say it's good news, you lose.
It's good news, you lose.
Have you heard the news, boys? Have you heard the news, boys? what's that? what's that? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
joker vs.
Joker challenge.
joker vs.
Joker challenge.
[ laughter .]
guys, I have the perfect approach.
Approach.
It's "shut up!" It's "shut up!" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
my nieces say it.
My nieces say it.
your nieces say, "shut up?" your nieces say, "shut up?" it doesn't mean to be quiet.
it doesn't mean to be quiet.
It just means, like, "oh, wow!" It just means, like, "oh, wow!" like "oh, snap.
" like "oh, snap.
" it's our "oh, snap.
" It's our "oh, snap.
" yeah.
It's our "oh, snap.
" yeah.
It's our "oh, snap.
" shut up! You got uggs? shut up! You got uggs? [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
you told her to shut up, to be fair to her.
you told her to shut up, to be fair to her.
what?! I love teal.
Be fair to her.
what?! I love teal.
[ laughter .]
what?! I love teal.
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! [ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! You got that scarf? [bleep.]
you! You got that scarf? [ laughter .]
You got that scarf? [ laughter .]
you got to rethink your [ laughter .]
you got to rethink your approach, buddy.
you got to rethink your approach, buddy.
yeah, man.
Approach, buddy.
yeah, man.
what? yeah, man.
what? Is there a victoria's secret in what? Is there a victoria's secret in here? Is there a victoria's secret in here? yes.
Here? yes.
where is that? yes.
where is that? over there.
where is that? over there.
is it? That's good news.
over there.
is it? That's good news.
That's awesome.
is it? That's good news.
That's awesome.
I actually have good news, too.
That's awesome.
I actually have good news, too.
yeah? I actually have good news, too.
yeah? yeah.
yeah? yeah.
"my parish burned to the yeah.
"my parish burned to the ground.
" "my parish burned to the ground.
" [ laughter .]
Ground.
" [ laughter .]
the whole parish.
[ laughter .]
the whole parish.
my parish burned to the the whole parish.
my parish burned to the ground.
my parish burned to the ground.
[ laughter .]
It was old.
No, no.
It was old, and now they're It was old, and now they're gonna rebuild it.
oh.
Gonna rebuild it.
oh.
unfortunately, it was during oh.
unfortunately, it was during mass.
unfortunately, it was during mass.
Everybody's -- everybody's gone.
Mass.
Everybody's -- everybody's gone.
[ laughter .]
Everybody's -- everybody's gone.
[ laughter .]
unfortunately, it was when [ laughter .]
unfortunately, it was when they lit the incense during unfortunately, it was when they lit the incense during mass.
They lit the incense during mass.
And, uh, I know you're looking Mass.
And, uh, I know you're looking at me like I'm a And, uh, I know you're looking at me like I'm a But you know what? At me like I'm a But you know what? I-I just -- I just learned a lot But you know what? I-I just -- I just learned a lot from the incident.
I-I just -- I just learned a lot from the incident.
"like I shouldn't set From the incident.
"like I shouldn't set parishes on fire.
" "like I shouldn't set parishes on fire.
" [ laughter .]
Parishes on fire.
" [ laughter .]
like I shouldn't set parishes [ laughter .]
like I shouldn't set parishes on fire.
I lit the incense.
But whatever happened next, actually, was up to a higher But whatever happened next, actually, was up to a higher power.
Actually, was up to a higher power.
So, good news, right? [ laughter .]
it'll be victoria's little secret.
It'll be victoria's little secret.
[ buzzer .]
Secret.
[ buzzer .]
nice try, sucker.
those eyebrows -- he really went overboard on those things.
Went overboard on those things.
go overboard.
go overboard.
They look [bleep.]
awesome.
They look [bleep.]
awesome.
yeah, for a teen girl.
yeah, for a teen girl.
what are you talking about, joe? what are you talking about, joe? Not only do you get your Joe? Not only do you get your eyebrows done.
Not only do you get your eyebrows done.
You got them done months before Eyebrows done.
You got them done months before I did, and you're the one who You got them done months before I did, and you're the one who told me to get mine done.
I did, and you're the one who told me to get mine done.
Boom! Told me to get mine done.
Boom! yeah, but you take it too Boom! yeah, but you take it too far.
yeah, but you take it too far.
yeah, you get manicured too Far.
yeah, you get manicured too much.
yeah, you get manicured too much.
my eyebrows look -- look Much.
my eyebrows look -- look popping.
my eyebrows look -- look popping.
oh, god.
I can't.
I can't.
[ laughter .]
guys, do you know where the guys, do you know where the food court is in this mall? Food court is in this mall? Oh, thank you so much.
Oh, thank you so much.
I've been lost for, like, 20 I've been lost for, like, 20 minutes.
Minutes.
I can tell you, by the way -- I can tell you, by the way -- I got to tell you, by the way -- I got to tell you, by the way -- I heard the best news today.
I heard the best news today.
"my eyebrows are popping.
" "my eyebrows are popping.
" [ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
my eyebrows are popping.
my eyebrows are popping.
Isn't that great news? You see how they have that Isn't that great news? You see how they have that threading? You see how they have that threading? yeah.
Threading? yeah.
and they look great.
yeah.
and they look great.
"even though they look like and they look great.
"even though they look like richard grieco's.
" "even though they look like richard grieco's.
" even though they look a Richard grieco's.
" even though they look a little bit like richard grieco.
even though they look a little bit like richard grieco.
You don't remember him from Little bit like richard grieco.
You don't remember him from "21 jump street?" You don't remember him from "21 jump street?" "not exactly like "21 jump street?" "not exactly like richard grieco.
" "not exactly like richard grieco.
" I mean, not exactly like Richard grieco.
" I mean, not exactly like richard grieco.
I mean, not exactly like richard grieco.
"he still has all his hair.
" Richard grieco.
"he still has all his hair.
" he -- [ sighs .]
"he still has all his hair.
" he -- [ sighs .]
[ laughter .]
he -- [ sighs .]
[ laughter .]
richard grieco still has his [ laughter .]
richard grieco still has his hair, though.
Richard grieco still has his hair, though.
Which I do, too, just less of Hair, though.
Which I do, too, just less of it.
Which I do, too, just less of it.
[ laughter .]
Thank you so much.
You two are two beautiful You two are two beautiful ladies.
Ladies.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
ah, but they never said it ah, but they never said it was good news.
Was good news.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ buzzer .]
come on, man! come on, man! narrator: Murr just heard the narrator: Murr just heard the worst news.
He's tonight's big loser.
Worst news.
He's tonight's big loser.
james murray has lost, and He's tonight's big loser.
james murray has lost, and for his punishment, all he has james murray has lost, and for his punishment, all he has to do is enjoy a day in the For his punishment, all he has to do is enjoy a day in the park.
To do is enjoy a day in the park.
[ laughter .]
Park.
[ laughter .]
he's like king kong.
[ laughter .]
he's like king kong.
what's going on? he's like king kong.
what's going on? it's not gonna be good.
what's going on? it's not gonna be good.
oh, you wore your new it's not gonna be good.
oh, you wore your new sneakers today.
oh, you wore your new sneakers today.
Oh, that was a mistake.
Sneakers today.
Oh, that was a mistake.
[ laughter .]
Oh, that was a mistake.
[ laughter .]
it's a beautiful day in the [ laughter .]
it's a beautiful day in the park.
it's a beautiful day in the park.
There's a lot of people hanging yeah, a lot of characters, one might say, in the park.
A lot of characters.
One might say, in the park.
A lot of characters.
[ screams .]
A lot of characters.
[ screams .]
don't put that near me! [ screams .]
don't put that near me! I'm serious! Don't put that near me! I'm serious! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! I'm serious! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! Don't put that near me! No, no! No, no, no, no, no! Don't put that near me! sorry.
Don't put that near me! sorry.
Can you hold this for a minute? sorry.
Can you hold this for a minute? no, no, no.
Can you hold this for a minute? no, no, no.
no.
Just for a minute.
no, no, no.
no.
Just for a minute.
I got to take a phone call.
no.
Just for a minute.
I got to take a phone call.
Just for a minute.
I got to take a phone call.
Just for a minute.
[ laughter .]
Just for a minute.
[ laughter .]
[ screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ screams .]
oh, my god! [ screams .]
oh, my god! I just got to take a call.
Oh, my god! I just got to take a call.
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
I just got to take a call.
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
Don't put that near me.
I'm serious.
I'm serious.
Don't put that near me.
murr, they smell fear.
Relax.
Don't put that near me.
murr, they smell fear.
Relax.
aah! No! murr, they smell fear.
Relax.
aah! No! I just need to take this aah! No! I just need to take this call.
I just need to take this call.
what is -- Call.
what is -- yeah, I'm sorry.
what is -- yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no.
I can't -- yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no.
I can't -- he's got a phone call.
Yeah, no.
I can't -- he's got a phone call.
aah! he's got a phone call.
aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
[ whimpers, screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ whimpers, screams .]
get it off of my legs! [ whimpers, screams .]
get it off of my legs! you are a grown man! Get it off of my legs! you are a grown man! aah! you are a grown man! aah! It's between my legs! aah! It's between my legs! It's gonna bite me! It's between my legs! It's gonna bite me! bro, it's gonna think that It's gonna bite me! bro, it's gonna think that your balls are a mouse.
bro, it's gonna think that your balls are a mouse.
[ laughter .]
Your balls are a mouse.
[ laughter .]
take your [bleep.]
snakes! [ laughter .]
take your [bleep.]
snakes! I guess it's true -- ferrets take your [bleep.]
snakes! I guess it's true -- ferrets have a natural fear of snakes.
I guess it's true -- ferrets have a natural fear of snakes.
[ laughter .]
Have a natural fear of snakes.
[ laughter .]
oh, man.
I'm drenched -- [ laughter .]
oh, man.
I'm drenched -- drenched in sweat.
oh, man.
I'm drenched -- drenched in sweat.
almost like you played some Drenched in sweat.
almost like you played some sports? almost like you played some sports? yeah.
Sports? yeah.
almost like you ran a yeah.
almost like you ran a marathon? almost like you ran a marathon? ran a marathon or had a -- Marathon? ran a marathon or had a -- had a nice round of, uh ran a marathon or had a -- had a nice round of, uh nice workout.
Had a nice round of, uh nice workout.
Tennis, perhaps? nice workout.
Tennis, perhaps? you mind I practice some shot Tennis, perhaps? you mind I practice some shot in you? you mind I practice some shot in you? [ laughter .]
In you? [ laughter .]
yeah, I mind.
[ laughter .]
yeah, I mind.
I'm a human being.
yeah, I mind.
I'm a human being.
watch your balls, murr.
I'm a human being.
watch your balls, murr.
oh! watch your balls, murr.
oh! What an ass[bleep.]
oh! What an ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
What an ass[bleep.]
[ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! [ laughter .]
[bleep.]
you! light him up! [bleep.]
you! light him up! ow! light him up! ow! [ screams .]
ow! [ screams .]
[ laughter .]
[ screams .]
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
get him! Oh [bleep.]
get him! oh! get him! oh! that got him! oh! that got him! how long does this punishment that got him! how long does this punishment go? how long does this punishment go? you know what? Go? you know what? Let's invite a friend that you you know what? Let's invite a friend that you guys introduce me to.
Let's invite a friend that you guys introduce me to.
right.
Guys introduce me to.
right.
aah! right.
aah! it's sloppy joe! aah! it's sloppy joe! sloppy joe! it's sloppy joe! sloppy joe! he's milk drunk.
sloppy joe! he's milk drunk.
sloppy joe! he's milk drunk.
sloppy joe! no, no, no, no.
Stop! sloppy joe! no, no, no, no.
Stop! Oh, my god.
no, no, no, no.
Stop! Oh, my god.
[ screams .]
Oh, my god.
[ screams .]
all: [ chanting.]
sloppy joe! [ screams .]
all: [ chanting.]
sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! all: [ chanting.]
sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! [ screams .]
Sloppy joe! Sloppy joe! [ screams .]
all: [ chanting .]
chug! Chug! [ screams .]
all: [ chanting .]
chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! all: [ chanting .]
chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! aah! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
all: Bye, sloppy joe! [ laughter .]
all: Bye, sloppy joe! oh, my god.
He's disgusting.
all: Bye, sloppy joe! oh, my god.
He's disgusting.
oh, we made a mess in the oh, my god.
He's disgusting.
oh, we made a mess in the park, guys.
oh, we made a mess in the park, guys.
and that's irresponsible of Park, guys.
and that's irresponsible of us as, uh, citizens.
and that's irresponsible of us as, uh, citizens.
let's send in the cleanup Us as, uh, citizens.
let's send in the cleanup crew.
let's send in the cleanup crew.
[ laughter .]
Crew.
[ laughter .]
oh, come on.
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
oh, come on.
[ laughs .]
murr, we got to wash the oh, come on.
[ laughs .]
murr, we got to wash the sloppy joe off you.
murr, we got to wash the sloppy joe off you.
aah! Sloppy joe off you.
aah! get him! Get him! aah! get him! Get him! at the ball wash get him! Get him! at the ball wash [ screams .]
at the ball wash [ screams .]
[ laughs .]
[ screams .]
[ laughs .]
all right! All right! [ laughs .]
all right! All right! well done, murr.
All right! All right! well done, murr.
You're all cleaned up.
well done, murr.
You're all cleaned up.
nice.
You're all cleaned up.
nice.
you know, murr, uh, back in nice.
you know, murr, uh, back in the day, they used to -- you you know, murr, uh, back in the day, they used to -- you know, they used to tar and The day, they used to -- you know, they used to tar and feather people.
Know, they used to tar and feather people.
[ chuckles .]
Feather people.
[ chuckles .]
come on.
[ chuckles .]
come on.
we couldn't find any tar.
Come on.
we couldn't find any tar.
oh [bleep.]
we couldn't find any tar.
oh [bleep.]
guys, these are my new shorts.
oh [bleep.]
guys, these are my new shorts.
Stop.
Guys, these are my new shorts.
Stop.
That's not funny, man.
Stop.
That's not funny, man.
Ah! That's not funny, man.
Ah! Come on! Ah! Come on! No, it's -- [ laughs .]
Come on! No, it's -- [ laughs .]
he looks like he was just No, it's -- [ laughs .]
he looks like he was just born.
he looks like he was just born.
[ laughter .]
Born.
[ laughter .]
here you go, fellas.
[ laughter .]
here you go, fellas.
all right.
All right.
here you go, fellas.
all right.
All right.
Here we go.
Ready? all right.
All right.
Here we go.
Ready? guys, guys, guys, guys.
Here we go.
Ready? guys, guys, guys, guys.
Aah! guys, guys, guys, guys.
Aah! [ laughter .]
Aah! [ laughter .]
[ screaming .]
[ screaming continues .]
finally you have your chicken legs.
[ laughter .]
Legs.
[ laughter .]
all right, murr.
[ laughter .]
all right, murr.
Now -- now your punishment's all right, murr.
Now -- now your punishment's about to start.
Now -- now your punishment's about to start.
what?! About to start.
what?! [ laughter .]
what?! [ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
this is the, uh, What the [bleep.]
this is the, uh, fruit salad 2000, my friend.
this is the, uh, fruit salad 2000, my friend.
is this dangerous? Fruit salad 2000, my friend.
is this dangerous? we got you, bud.
is this dangerous? we got you, bud.
[ chuckles .]
we got you, bud.
[ chuckles .]
how is this allowed in a [ chuckles .]
how is this allowed in a public park? how is this allowed in a public park? Oh, that helps.
Public park? Oh, that helps.
Oh Oh, that helps.
Oh [ laughs .]
there you go! [ screaming .]
[ screaming continues .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
we forgot the strawberries.
we forgot the strawberries.
no.
no.
Actually, what we forgot is the Actually, what we forgot is the keys to unlock those handcuffs.
Keys to unlock those handcuffs.
we got to go get the key.
we got to go get the key.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
guys, guys, come on.
guys, guys, come on.
later, buddy.
later, buddy.
guys! guys! I think that was very I think that was very well-done, fellas.
Well-done, fellas.
you know what, guys? you know what, guys? We're gonna be best friends We're gonna be best friends forever.