Party of Five s04e19 Episode Script
Go Away
Whoa.
What are you doing up? It's it's late.
I figured you'd have where you been? Um Just Saw this b-bad double feature Tony picked.
Hmm.
I, um I found this in your jacket pocket.
"Something's happening.
" What does that mean? I don't know.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Let me see.
I don't know.
It's Looks like it's Piece of paper, I, uh I must've found somewhere and put it in my pocket.
It's a girl's handwriting, and someone drew a flower on it.
Yeah? So? What movie did you see? What? Tell me the name of the movie and where it was playing.
I might want to go see it tomorrow.
Piece of advice.
Tell your friend Tony not to answer the phone if he's supposed to be your alibi.
Julia Who wrote you this note, Griffin? Who wrote you this note?! Rosalie.
Rosalie.
The girl from the shop? God! That's where you were tonight? We're We're just friends.
Then why would you lie to me? Huh? Why would you lie about where you were if you're just friends?! What are you doing, Griffin? Are you cheating on me? No! I don't believe you.
I mean she's a little flirtatious.
I mean, I might've flirted back, but Until 2:00 in the morning.
Nothing happened! I'm not sleeping with her.
I swear to god! Get away from me.
Go away.
I don't want to see you.
Come on.
We were just spending some time together.
Things have been going so bad around here, it really just kinda Happened.
Oh.
The nurse said that you guys were Oh, that's ok.
We're finished here.
This was tough.
Go home.
Get some rest, ok? Yeah.
Like I'm gonna sleep tonight.
Look.
I'm gonna tell you what I tell everyone in your position.
This is not the final answer, Charlie.
I could call and say, "we still haven't gotten everything.
" But that's not a death sentence.
We just Redouble our efforts.
Meaning Chemotherapy and a lot more radiation.
Let's cross that bridge a little later.
Right.
Heh.
There's no way I'm gonna sleep tonight.
When will we know? Mmm, tomorrow.
Day after.
Look.
Take him home.
Pamper him a little.
Rent a ton of movies.
I'll call you as soon as I know.
Ok.
Keep your fingers crossed, ok? All right.
Everybody wants to live Like they wanna live And everybody wants to love Like they wanna love And everybody wants to be Closer to free Hey.
How's he doing? Is he Tired.
He's tired.
Well, what'd the doctor say? Look, I don't want to talk about it, ok? Ok.
So how're you doing? I mean I don't want to talk.
Julia I mean I don't want to talk to you.
I just came to get some of my stuff.
He's gonna be ok, Bailey.
God.
Listen to me.
I mean How do I know that? Right? I mean, i i don't.
I don't have anything to base that on except how much I want for it to be true.
Thank you For saying that.
I'm gonna head upstairs and check on Hey.
I was just on my way up God.
You're here? I i thought you said he wasn't here.
Well, he wasn't when you called.
You called? Why? What's You said you'd be home by 5:30.
Well, I just i got home a few minutes ago, and I came to get a shirt for work.
What's wrong? I've been up there watching the hands go around the clock, and I've just been thinking I just had to make it until you got home.
My god, do you have any idea how much people drink on soap operas? And it's, like I was just waiting for You to come home so that you could What? I don't know.
Like, take the cash out of my wallet so I can't go to a bar.
You can't do that.
You can't put that on me.
I can't need you? Look, let's go upstairs no! Answer me! I'm not allowed to need you? You can't need me to stay sober Because what if Charlie gets bad news.
Huh? What if those test results come back and they say that the cancer is still there? What then? Huh? When when I can't be with you because I have to be there with him? Look, I just, uh I can't do it without you, Bailey.
Listen to me.
You have to.
You have to because I can't make you better, Annie.
Yes, you can.
No, I can't! That isn't the way it works, so stop asking me to! I just Just stop.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Me.
You? No.
See, Owen, the whole point of knock-knock jokes is Knock knock.
Owen, cut it out.
Who's there? Rabbits.
Rabbits.
Very funny.
Hello.
Oh.
Dr.
rabin.
I An irregularity? What What does that mean? It means we have to run a gallium scan, run a few more tests to get a clearer picture.
No.
I mean What what could a spot on the cat scan indicate? Well, it could be evidence of some remaining scar tissue The tissue that held the tumor in place before it was radiated.
Or it could mean The cancer's still there.
The radiation didn't work.
It would be premature to conclude that.
But it's possible.
Charlie, there's no point going down that road until I'm asking you.
Is it possible? It's possible.
But it's unlikely.
I'm 28 years old, doctor.
Getting cancer in the first place was unlikely.
Unlikely's not much of a comfort anymore.
What are you doing here? What? II don't want to see you right now.
Gotta go to the bathroom, Julia.
What do you want me to do, pee out in the backyard? Hide in the shed? Hey, I'm hiding in the house.
You can hide in the shed.
I have to eat.
I have to shower and do my laundry.
Right.
Right.
That's true.
So I don't know, um, maybe you should Leave.
Leave.
Well, I can't be in the same room with you right now, and you're right.
You can't lock yourself in the shed, so Wait.
Aren't aren't we even gonna talk about this? Look, I want you to know what happened with me and Rosalie And why.
You're the one that's always saying we should talk things out.
Please? Don't! Don't touch me after you've been with someone else.
God! Why are you doing this? 'Cause I have got There is too much going on right now.
All of this stuff with Charlie, and I have to worry about that.
And I have to take care of myself, and being near you makes it so much worse.
So, what? What, we're just done? I have no idea.
I can't think about that.
All I want is for you to leave, and I'll figure the rest out later.
Bailey: Hey, man.
Claudia: Where you been? Noplace.
Just Out.
So You hear anything from the doctor yet? What? No.
It's pretty late.
Guess you're gonna have to wait another day, huh? Yeah.
So are you ok with that? No, I'm not.
I'm going crazy.
I just I gotta I don't know.
I gotta do more than just hang out and wait for the phone and sit up in that room all night long.
So why don't you get outta here then, man? Why don't you go see a movie or take a drive or something? I'll stay here.
Besides, Julia and Griffin will be here.
What? I was just telling Charlie that he should get outta here for a while if he wants Take a night out.
That's not what I mean.
That's not enough.
I mean, I need to really get away.
Away away, like, just drive until I run outta gas.
You know? Go someplace in the middle of nowhere.
Yeah, like that cabin we used to go to when we were kids, outside Tahoe.
Oh, man, that's exactly it.
Well, so? You should go.
If you want, I'd go with you, 'cause I'm with you, man.
I would love to get outta here for a little while.
Me, too.
Somewhere where no one can find us in, like, a second.
Ok.
So, let's Let's just do it.
That cabin's gotta still be there, right? Yeah.
Start packing, claud.
No.
I mean, I can't.
I mean, I'm busy.
I've got lots of stuff to do.
Claud, come on.
Charlie, we talked about this.
Now I Need some time to myself.
You guys should definitely go.
I'll get Kirsten to stay with me and Owen, and I don't care.
Actually, I might kinda like it.
So? We going away? Far away.
Whoa.
Blast from the past, huh? God.
It is exactly the same.
Actually, I think the couch is new.
Nope.
Ha ha! Look at this.
Monopoly, parcheesi, scrabble.
I bet you they still have, um Yep.
Valley of the dolls.
My introduction to adult fiction.
You didn't come out of your room for 3 days.
Ok.
Groceries, beds, firewood.
Who does what? Uhh! You gotta pack it down real hard.
Yeah, like that.
That's good.
That's really good.
Ha ha ha! Ahh Oh, yeah? Owen, you want to help me open the mail? Hey, anything for me? Uh I'll check.
An application to own a new credit card An application to refinance your home "Phillips academy.
" That's for me.
Andover, huh? Isn't that a prep school? Uh-huh.
That looks like an application.
It is.
I, uh I sent away.
Thanks.
Massachusetts, right? Yep.
What kind of nimrod names a food product "gorp"? Like, that's supposed to be appetizing? I might as well just have just named it "Zard" or "Quif.
" Hell, "barf" would be a better name than Wha hey! Charlie.
Wasn't me, man.
You hooked it.
I did? Yeah.
See, it's all in the wrist.
You gotta Aah! Oh, that's funny, that? That's very funny.
Hey, hey, hey! Bay, bay, bay, bay, bay! She started it.
I was just helping her with her technique.
No! Aah! Some big brother you are.
You are gettin' it.
No fair.
No way! No way! You can't hit me! I've got can Cer! Ha ha ha! Ow! Ha ha! Aah! Aah! Ha ha ha ha! Ohh! Ha ha ha! Aah! Aah! Uhh! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Uh, it it's Sarah.
I i was just Well, I had some Some rent notices to deliver on this floor, so I just thought I'd You thought you'd what? Check up on me? Uh, no.
No.
Why would i Bailey's gone.
I know.
I called the house, and Kirsten told me.
Ok, so I just wanted to see how you are.
Can I, um Can I come in? N-no.
Annie, look, I'm I'm worried about you And about Natalie.
No, Natalie is fine.
Look, I do have some idea of what you're going through, you know.
I mean, i I was with Bailey all last year through pretty much everything.
And I know that this is something that you can't fight all by yourself.
That's not what Bailey thinks.
Look, can I just, um At least drive you to a meeting? Or something, you know? Or look after Natalie while you're there? No.
Look, why don't you just go find yourself some other little project to do? Ok? Like help somebody with their lock or Or their plumbing or something? Ok? Could I, uh Hi.
So I didn't really know where else to go.
What's going on? I've just Just been walking.
Been walking around all night.
I haven't sle I haven't slept.
She kicked me out.
What? Yeah.
Julia.
She, uh She found that thing, that note you wrote.
Oh, man.
Wow.
I don't know how to make her understand what's going on here With you and me.
And I told her it's not what she thought it was, but she she didn't want to hear it.
It's like she she wants to believe the worst.
So she thinks that you and me are No, it's not like she hasn't done some things, too Things that I forgave her for.
Or at least Tried to understand.
Nothing's entirely the other person's fault.
God.
She hasn't wanted me in such a long time.
And then there you were, and you You And I did.
And I do.
Want you.
Yours good? Really good.
Yours? Great schlock.
The schlockiest.
Mm-hmm.
Time check.
It is not.
Yeah! It is not 7:00.
It is.
It's 7:00? Where did the day go, huh? It's dinnertime.
Mmm.
You think we should call home Check in? I don't know.
They've got the number here.
Don't they? So if there's a real problem, somebody could call.
Kirsten would call.
Definitely.
So Let's not call.
Let's just leave it alone for a little while.
That's not so horrible, is it? Charlie: No.
That is a good fire, bay.
I don't see why a big deal out of this.
I just i want to understand why you're applying now.
'Cause now's when the applications are due.
You know what I mean.
Here I come! Why are you making plans to leave before we know? Before we know what's gonna happen with Charlie? Where are you? You better be upstairs! Charlie'd want me to go to a good school.
Not one that's 3,000 miles away.
Am I getting hot Or cold? I can't help it it's in Massachusetts.
Unless that's the appeal.
I mean There's going away to school, claud And there's running away Which is what you might do when it's too scary to stay here and not know how things are gonna turn out Not know if your brother's gonna be ok.
Where'd you guys go? Claudia.
Where are you? We're in here, Owen! My mommy fell asleep On the floor.
She fell asleep, and I can't wake her up.
So? What? This as good as dad's? Better, if you ask me.
Twice the garlic.
You guys want any more? Uhh, pass.
You ok, Charlie? Just Getting tired, that's all.
Yeah? Well, then we're gonna have to do something to wake your butt up, then.
How about a game of risk? No.
You guys play.
The whole reason for coming up here was to get your mind off stuff.
Yeah, but I'm just I'm just not really feeling that great.
I got it.
Remember the first time Charlie baby-sat for us? The snowstorm.
mom and dad left, it starts blizzarding out.
And all the lights went out.
Where did they go again? To the movies.
And we couldn't reach them, remember? And we freaked on you.
And you tried everything to distract us.
You tried food, stories, everything.
You remember what you finally did? Mm-mmm.
How about a little indoor laser beam snowball war? The cabin was a soaking mess, but we laughed till the electricity came back on.
I'm just I'm just not really in the mood, you guys.
I know.
Well, maybe this'll change your mood.
It's not that simple.
Well, can't you just try? I mean, it worked before.
It's not like before.
Ok? It doesn't It doesn't work like it worked when we were kids.
You can't you can't just distract me.
I I'm sick now.
We know that.
No, you don't.
No idea.
I got some bad news.
The, um The test results.
They found something.
They don't know what it is, but it's something.
And It could be bad.
What? So I don't want to play any more games.
Ok? I'm not some little kid who's afraid of the dark.
I mean, I wish I wish I wish that's all there was to be afraid of.
Wouldn't that be simple? Annie.
Mommy, please wake up.
Sweetheart.
Do you know how to make coffee? Instant.
Ok.
Make some.
A whole pot.
Lots and lots of scoops.
And, Natalie, get some towels.
Why? What are you gonna do? This.
Uhh! Aah! Stop! Uhh! Claudia? Claudia? I'm sleeping.
Go away.
I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to set up another appointment for you to talk to someone.
I'm already doing that.
I know.
I think you need to see a new therapist.
Yeah, well What's this new therapist gonna do for me? Talk, mainly.
About whatever you're afraid of.
About Charlie dying? Maybe.
Probably.
Talk about how I'm gonna handle things? You know, how I'm gonna cope with things if if he dies? Yes.
Maybe even make me ok with it? In time, claud.
I hope so.
Well I don't want to be ok with it.
'Cause it's not ok.
And it's never gonna be, so I'm not just gonna sit there and let someone try and tell me that it is, so you can just forget about it.
That's exactly what everyone said when my mom and dad left.
"Try and get back to normal, Claudia.
" So So I tried that.
I mean, I really tried that, and I was doing pretty good at it, but That's it.
That's That's it.
I'm not doing it anymore.
I'm not gonna try and be ok with people leaving me Ever again.
How is he? Is he asleep? Drifting off.
Bay, did you know about this? About the cat scan? No.
Did you? God, what was he thinking? That he could just walk out of the house and get in the car and drive away from all this? Just leave it all behind? Hey, I thought the same thing.
Idiot.
Like, a change of scenery was really gonna change anything.
What did you want it to change? What do you mean? All this stuff with Charlie.
But you just said you didn't know about that till now.
Bailey? We need some more firewood.
Bailey? Bay.
What's going on with you? Nothing.
Annie's drinking again.
Oh, no.
Bay.
Yeah, and And it's bad.
It's really bad.
And Look at me.
I'm up here.
I just i just Left.
Yeah, well, come on.
It's a lot to handle, especially for someone who No.
I know.
I had to get outta there.
It was self-preservation for me to get outta there.
And I was taking care of myself Which is a good thing.
Only Only? Only why do I feel like I did something wrong? 'Cause that's you, bay.
Why? Why is that me? Because I wasn't always like this Jule.
I mean, you remember.
When I was, like When I was, like, 15 years old, I was getting in trouble all the time Blowing off my curfew Well, that's just being a kid.
You were a kid.
Right.
And then they died.
They checked out, and the next day, I was I was this Adult.
I went from being 15 one day to 45 the next.
Bailey And you know what? To hell with them.
Because maybe I could've been someone else.
And then maybe I wouldn't be beating myself up over this thing Over leaving her.
And and maybe For a second I could actually believe that it's ok for me to take care of myself.
I get what you're saying.
I do.
I mean, maybe it's the same with me.
Maybe if they were still here, I wouldn't be in such a rush to do everything.
A rush to do what? Anything.
Everything.
And how did that happen? Huh? I mean, god, do you remember me in junior high? I was always looking 5 years ahead.
And now Now it's like even immediate gratification takes too long.
I want what I want now, today, 'cause who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow? So it's like I stopped thinking things through.
You know? I went off to Europe Turned down Stanford, I got married.
You don't regret that, do you? I did that So fast, Bailey.
Too fast.
So what are you saying? Do you think you made a mistake? I didn't ever think of what it would really be like What it really meant to get married.
I just Loved him.
So I said yes.
So I guess me and Charlie aren't the only ones running away Huh? Look, Annie, it's not like I wanted this job, ok? But now I kinda feel like it's mine by default.
Yeah, well are you gonna promise me you're not gonna get in a car with Natalie? You gonna promise me that you're not gonna go to light up the stove and cook something and pass out like you did tonight? 'Cause I'm scared For Natalie.
You need help.
I know that.
You don't think I hate myself for that? You don't think I hate myself for being this way in front of my daughter? But all that does is make me want to drink so I can stop that feeling.
And all that does is make me want to hate myself even more.
I can't even get myself to a meeting.
Well Well, then you need to go somewhere.
You know? You need to I don't know, check yourself into one of those programs or something.
You really think so? Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, that's great.
I mean, where am I gonna leave nat? Home Alone? Or maybe I should just send her off to be with her alcoholic father.
Maybe I should just check her into a hotel.
God.
You You think everything is just neat and simple, don't you? No, I don't.
Listen to me.
There are good answers for people who have money.
And there are good answers for people who have people to take care of them.
But there are no good answers for me.
It's cold.
You barely touched it.
You want me to, uh, reheat it for you? What? Uh, no.
No, I, uh It's it's late.
I better get going.
Where are you gonna go? I don't know.
I gotta find a place.
Why? Why do you have to find a place? No.
I am not staying here with you.
Why? Because.
Uh Forget it.
'Cause I don't trust myself.
Why? What don't you trust yourself about? Come on.
Oh Oh, Rosalie, I What? What are you afraid of? Hurting her? I don't know.
Well I don't know.
It's It's crazy.
I mean I i didn't do anything, and she's treating me like I did, right? Right.
I mean, she kicked me out, right? I mean She kicked me out.
She knew where I was gonna go.
I mean, she already thinks that we're doing it, right? So So? So Mmm Mmm It's 3:00 in the morning.
Who could that be? Something's happened.
Charlie, you gonna get it? Hello? I'm sorry.
Who? Bailey? No.
There's no one here by that name.
What number were you trying to call? You have the wrong number.
Yeah.
Wrong number.
My heart is pounding.
God.
Phone calls in the middle of the night, huh? The phone used to ring all the time in the middle of the night.
Just meant Dad was hung up at the restaurant or mom's car battery died after rehearsal, that's all.
Till that night.
Charlie: Some Police officer Sergeant dubrowski.
Darryl dubrowski Saying "There's been an accident, son.
" Saying it real slow.
Saying it twice.
March 22, 1994, at 11:45.
That's when phone calls in the middle of the night stop being nothing.
And nothing's ever been nothing since, you know? Don't see your brother when you pull up to daycare.
He's been kidnapped.
Your sister gets home late from a from a music lesson.
She got hit by a bus.
Doctor tells you your test results turned up an irregularity And you're gonna die.
'Cause that's the way life works, you know? I know that now.
Charlie Come on, man.
Don't do this to yourself.
Did I do it to myself? I don't know, bay.
For 24 years, I believed that everything always turned out ok.
And then march 22, And now I don't.
Paper got wet.
Says it snowed in Tahoe last night.
I bet you it's pretty up there, don't you think? You know what, Claudia? I spent 5 years doing graduate work in child psychology.
And I have no idea how to make this better for you.
I've been doing this thing lately.
I wake up in the morning, and I tell myself That he's gone.
Charlie.
I tell myself that he's dead.
Then I go about my day Seeing how that feels.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do that all the time Every day.
It's like if we get to that bad place first, we can get used to how it feels to be there.
We can prepare ourselves.
The truth is We can't.
We can't know how it's gonna feel until it happens.
The only thing that's That's gonna make it better Is if we know that he's gonna be ok.
But you can't say that he will.
No, I can't.
So I won't.
Bailey: That's everything? It's everything we came with.
What's he doing? He's making one last check.
Oh.
Well, we really crapped up our memories of this place, huh? Mmm.
Mom and dad would be pleased.
Yeah, well, it serves 'em right.
Bailey, enough.
Let's stop doing that, ok? I don't want to i don't want to feel that way about them.
I'm tired of it.
Aren't you tired of it? I don't know.
You know what I've always thought? I thought that when I get to be 30 years old, I will have been alive as long without them as I was with them.
And then everything will change Because all of a sudden, my life will be about what happened after they died, not about losing them.
And then after that Then whatever happens is up to me.
But that's Stupid.
I mean, what am I waiting for? It's empty.
I checked.
So you ready to take off, man? Yeah.
Hey.
I'm sorry about this.
We shouldn't have brought you out here.
Come on.
That's We had great times here.
So We went for it again.
I was into that.
Just Just won't come back here anymore.
It's weird, huh? It's like you have this This great time in your life before the first really bad thing happens.
And you have that That kid feeling, like the world is completely open and And safe.
Once you lose that, once that first bad thing happens You never get it back.
I guess everybody loses it sometime.
Yeah.
We just lost it sooner than most.
I'll drive.
Ow! Annie.
Annie, it's me.
Are you there? Come on, open up.
Ok, look, Annie, I'm back.
I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere, so let's just deal with this, ok? Annie? Annie? Hey.
Hey.
You're back.
Yeah.
Sarah.
Do you have any idea where Annie? Yeah.
She left about an hour ago.
She left.
Left for where? To haledon.
You know, down the coast? It's supposed to have a really good in-patient program for alcoholism.
She checked herself into a rehab? Ohhh God.
That's And and without she took Natalie with her? No.
N No? She She conked out kinda early.
She's had a rough couple of days.
Annie asked if you'd watch her? Actually I volunteered.
Can I help Is he here? He's in the back.
Julia.
What are you i don't, uh, know what I'm doing, ok? And, um I don't know how I feel about anything, but I've been thinking a lot, and I think that whatever happened It's complicated.
It's probably not just your fault.
Oh, Julia No, let me finish.
It's probably my fault, too.
I don't want to keep blaming everybody for things that happen to me.
I do that too much.
Anyways, um Heh I'm not saying I forgive you But you said you didn't sleep with her, so I want you to come home with me so we can figure stuff out.
Come home with me.
Please.
Charlie: Hey, I'm home! Kirsten: Hi, Charlie, if you're beeping in, I took the kids for Chinese.
We should be back by 7:00.
Owen, no, don't play with the The least you could've done is remember the doggy bag.
Charlie.
Hey.
You're back.
Wh Is everything ok? Everything's fine.
We just, uh, decided it was time to come home.
Answering machine: Hello, Charlie, it's Dr.
rabin.
It's, let's see, 5:45, and I just got off the phone with the lab.
Now you can reach me at the office until 6:30, or, uh, tell you what, let me give you my home number if you're back after that.
It's 555-6827.
You gonna call? Kirsten: Do you want us to No.
Um I'm gonna Dr.
rabin, it's, uh, it's Charlie salinger.
Yes, i Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry.
Could you, uh, could you say that again? No, it's just, um Right.
Right.
Could you I'm sorry.
C-could you just give me a second here? I'm back.
No, it's I'm ok.
In fact, uh, never better.
Never better.
What are you doing up? It's it's late.
I figured you'd have where you been? Um Just Saw this b-bad double feature Tony picked.
Hmm.
I, um I found this in your jacket pocket.
"Something's happening.
" What does that mean? I don't know.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Let me see.
I don't know.
It's Looks like it's Piece of paper, I, uh I must've found somewhere and put it in my pocket.
It's a girl's handwriting, and someone drew a flower on it.
Yeah? So? What movie did you see? What? Tell me the name of the movie and where it was playing.
I might want to go see it tomorrow.
Piece of advice.
Tell your friend Tony not to answer the phone if he's supposed to be your alibi.
Julia Who wrote you this note, Griffin? Who wrote you this note?! Rosalie.
Rosalie.
The girl from the shop? God! That's where you were tonight? We're We're just friends.
Then why would you lie to me? Huh? Why would you lie about where you were if you're just friends?! What are you doing, Griffin? Are you cheating on me? No! I don't believe you.
I mean she's a little flirtatious.
I mean, I might've flirted back, but Until 2:00 in the morning.
Nothing happened! I'm not sleeping with her.
I swear to god! Get away from me.
Go away.
I don't want to see you.
Come on.
We were just spending some time together.
Things have been going so bad around here, it really just kinda Happened.
Oh.
The nurse said that you guys were Oh, that's ok.
We're finished here.
This was tough.
Go home.
Get some rest, ok? Yeah.
Like I'm gonna sleep tonight.
Look.
I'm gonna tell you what I tell everyone in your position.
This is not the final answer, Charlie.
I could call and say, "we still haven't gotten everything.
" But that's not a death sentence.
We just Redouble our efforts.
Meaning Chemotherapy and a lot more radiation.
Let's cross that bridge a little later.
Right.
Heh.
There's no way I'm gonna sleep tonight.
When will we know? Mmm, tomorrow.
Day after.
Look.
Take him home.
Pamper him a little.
Rent a ton of movies.
I'll call you as soon as I know.
Ok.
Keep your fingers crossed, ok? All right.
Everybody wants to live Like they wanna live And everybody wants to love Like they wanna love And everybody wants to be Closer to free Hey.
How's he doing? Is he Tired.
He's tired.
Well, what'd the doctor say? Look, I don't want to talk about it, ok? Ok.
So how're you doing? I mean I don't want to talk.
Julia I mean I don't want to talk to you.
I just came to get some of my stuff.
He's gonna be ok, Bailey.
God.
Listen to me.
I mean How do I know that? Right? I mean, i i don't.
I don't have anything to base that on except how much I want for it to be true.
Thank you For saying that.
I'm gonna head upstairs and check on Hey.
I was just on my way up God.
You're here? I i thought you said he wasn't here.
Well, he wasn't when you called.
You called? Why? What's You said you'd be home by 5:30.
Well, I just i got home a few minutes ago, and I came to get a shirt for work.
What's wrong? I've been up there watching the hands go around the clock, and I've just been thinking I just had to make it until you got home.
My god, do you have any idea how much people drink on soap operas? And it's, like I was just waiting for You to come home so that you could What? I don't know.
Like, take the cash out of my wallet so I can't go to a bar.
You can't do that.
You can't put that on me.
I can't need you? Look, let's go upstairs no! Answer me! I'm not allowed to need you? You can't need me to stay sober Because what if Charlie gets bad news.
Huh? What if those test results come back and they say that the cancer is still there? What then? Huh? When when I can't be with you because I have to be there with him? Look, I just, uh I can't do it without you, Bailey.
Listen to me.
You have to.
You have to because I can't make you better, Annie.
Yes, you can.
No, I can't! That isn't the way it works, so stop asking me to! I just Just stop.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Me.
You? No.
See, Owen, the whole point of knock-knock jokes is Knock knock.
Owen, cut it out.
Who's there? Rabbits.
Rabbits.
Very funny.
Hello.
Oh.
Dr.
rabin.
I An irregularity? What What does that mean? It means we have to run a gallium scan, run a few more tests to get a clearer picture.
No.
I mean What what could a spot on the cat scan indicate? Well, it could be evidence of some remaining scar tissue The tissue that held the tumor in place before it was radiated.
Or it could mean The cancer's still there.
The radiation didn't work.
It would be premature to conclude that.
But it's possible.
Charlie, there's no point going down that road until I'm asking you.
Is it possible? It's possible.
But it's unlikely.
I'm 28 years old, doctor.
Getting cancer in the first place was unlikely.
Unlikely's not much of a comfort anymore.
What are you doing here? What? II don't want to see you right now.
Gotta go to the bathroom, Julia.
What do you want me to do, pee out in the backyard? Hide in the shed? Hey, I'm hiding in the house.
You can hide in the shed.
I have to eat.
I have to shower and do my laundry.
Right.
Right.
That's true.
So I don't know, um, maybe you should Leave.
Leave.
Well, I can't be in the same room with you right now, and you're right.
You can't lock yourself in the shed, so Wait.
Aren't aren't we even gonna talk about this? Look, I want you to know what happened with me and Rosalie And why.
You're the one that's always saying we should talk things out.
Please? Don't! Don't touch me after you've been with someone else.
God! Why are you doing this? 'Cause I have got There is too much going on right now.
All of this stuff with Charlie, and I have to worry about that.
And I have to take care of myself, and being near you makes it so much worse.
So, what? What, we're just done? I have no idea.
I can't think about that.
All I want is for you to leave, and I'll figure the rest out later.
Bailey: Hey, man.
Claudia: Where you been? Noplace.
Just Out.
So You hear anything from the doctor yet? What? No.
It's pretty late.
Guess you're gonna have to wait another day, huh? Yeah.
So are you ok with that? No, I'm not.
I'm going crazy.
I just I gotta I don't know.
I gotta do more than just hang out and wait for the phone and sit up in that room all night long.
So why don't you get outta here then, man? Why don't you go see a movie or take a drive or something? I'll stay here.
Besides, Julia and Griffin will be here.
What? I was just telling Charlie that he should get outta here for a while if he wants Take a night out.
That's not what I mean.
That's not enough.
I mean, I need to really get away.
Away away, like, just drive until I run outta gas.
You know? Go someplace in the middle of nowhere.
Yeah, like that cabin we used to go to when we were kids, outside Tahoe.
Oh, man, that's exactly it.
Well, so? You should go.
If you want, I'd go with you, 'cause I'm with you, man.
I would love to get outta here for a little while.
Me, too.
Somewhere where no one can find us in, like, a second.
Ok.
So, let's Let's just do it.
That cabin's gotta still be there, right? Yeah.
Start packing, claud.
No.
I mean, I can't.
I mean, I'm busy.
I've got lots of stuff to do.
Claud, come on.
Charlie, we talked about this.
Now I Need some time to myself.
You guys should definitely go.
I'll get Kirsten to stay with me and Owen, and I don't care.
Actually, I might kinda like it.
So? We going away? Far away.
Whoa.
Blast from the past, huh? God.
It is exactly the same.
Actually, I think the couch is new.
Nope.
Ha ha! Look at this.
Monopoly, parcheesi, scrabble.
I bet you they still have, um Yep.
Valley of the dolls.
My introduction to adult fiction.
You didn't come out of your room for 3 days.
Ok.
Groceries, beds, firewood.
Who does what? Uhh! You gotta pack it down real hard.
Yeah, like that.
That's good.
That's really good.
Ha ha ha! Ahh Oh, yeah? Owen, you want to help me open the mail? Hey, anything for me? Uh I'll check.
An application to own a new credit card An application to refinance your home "Phillips academy.
" That's for me.
Andover, huh? Isn't that a prep school? Uh-huh.
That looks like an application.
It is.
I, uh I sent away.
Thanks.
Massachusetts, right? Yep.
What kind of nimrod names a food product "gorp"? Like, that's supposed to be appetizing? I might as well just have just named it "Zard" or "Quif.
" Hell, "barf" would be a better name than Wha hey! Charlie.
Wasn't me, man.
You hooked it.
I did? Yeah.
See, it's all in the wrist.
You gotta Aah! Oh, that's funny, that? That's very funny.
Hey, hey, hey! Bay, bay, bay, bay, bay! She started it.
I was just helping her with her technique.
No! Aah! Some big brother you are.
You are gettin' it.
No fair.
No way! No way! You can't hit me! I've got can Cer! Ha ha ha! Ow! Ha ha! Aah! Aah! Ha ha ha ha! Ohh! Ha ha ha! Aah! Aah! Uhh! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Uh, it it's Sarah.
I i was just Well, I had some Some rent notices to deliver on this floor, so I just thought I'd You thought you'd what? Check up on me? Uh, no.
No.
Why would i Bailey's gone.
I know.
I called the house, and Kirsten told me.
Ok, so I just wanted to see how you are.
Can I, um Can I come in? N-no.
Annie, look, I'm I'm worried about you And about Natalie.
No, Natalie is fine.
Look, I do have some idea of what you're going through, you know.
I mean, i I was with Bailey all last year through pretty much everything.
And I know that this is something that you can't fight all by yourself.
That's not what Bailey thinks.
Look, can I just, um At least drive you to a meeting? Or something, you know? Or look after Natalie while you're there? No.
Look, why don't you just go find yourself some other little project to do? Ok? Like help somebody with their lock or Or their plumbing or something? Ok? Could I, uh Hi.
So I didn't really know where else to go.
What's going on? I've just Just been walking.
Been walking around all night.
I haven't sle I haven't slept.
She kicked me out.
What? Yeah.
Julia.
She, uh She found that thing, that note you wrote.
Oh, man.
Wow.
I don't know how to make her understand what's going on here With you and me.
And I told her it's not what she thought it was, but she she didn't want to hear it.
It's like she she wants to believe the worst.
So she thinks that you and me are No, it's not like she hasn't done some things, too Things that I forgave her for.
Or at least Tried to understand.
Nothing's entirely the other person's fault.
God.
She hasn't wanted me in such a long time.
And then there you were, and you You And I did.
And I do.
Want you.
Yours good? Really good.
Yours? Great schlock.
The schlockiest.
Mm-hmm.
Time check.
It is not.
Yeah! It is not 7:00.
It is.
It's 7:00? Where did the day go, huh? It's dinnertime.
Mmm.
You think we should call home Check in? I don't know.
They've got the number here.
Don't they? So if there's a real problem, somebody could call.
Kirsten would call.
Definitely.
So Let's not call.
Let's just leave it alone for a little while.
That's not so horrible, is it? Charlie: No.
That is a good fire, bay.
I don't see why a big deal out of this.
I just i want to understand why you're applying now.
'Cause now's when the applications are due.
You know what I mean.
Here I come! Why are you making plans to leave before we know? Before we know what's gonna happen with Charlie? Where are you? You better be upstairs! Charlie'd want me to go to a good school.
Not one that's 3,000 miles away.
Am I getting hot Or cold? I can't help it it's in Massachusetts.
Unless that's the appeal.
I mean There's going away to school, claud And there's running away Which is what you might do when it's too scary to stay here and not know how things are gonna turn out Not know if your brother's gonna be ok.
Where'd you guys go? Claudia.
Where are you? We're in here, Owen! My mommy fell asleep On the floor.
She fell asleep, and I can't wake her up.
So? What? This as good as dad's? Better, if you ask me.
Twice the garlic.
You guys want any more? Uhh, pass.
You ok, Charlie? Just Getting tired, that's all.
Yeah? Well, then we're gonna have to do something to wake your butt up, then.
How about a game of risk? No.
You guys play.
The whole reason for coming up here was to get your mind off stuff.
Yeah, but I'm just I'm just not really feeling that great.
I got it.
Remember the first time Charlie baby-sat for us? The snowstorm.
mom and dad left, it starts blizzarding out.
And all the lights went out.
Where did they go again? To the movies.
And we couldn't reach them, remember? And we freaked on you.
And you tried everything to distract us.
You tried food, stories, everything.
You remember what you finally did? Mm-mmm.
How about a little indoor laser beam snowball war? The cabin was a soaking mess, but we laughed till the electricity came back on.
I'm just I'm just not really in the mood, you guys.
I know.
Well, maybe this'll change your mood.
It's not that simple.
Well, can't you just try? I mean, it worked before.
It's not like before.
Ok? It doesn't It doesn't work like it worked when we were kids.
You can't you can't just distract me.
I I'm sick now.
We know that.
No, you don't.
No idea.
I got some bad news.
The, um The test results.
They found something.
They don't know what it is, but it's something.
And It could be bad.
What? So I don't want to play any more games.
Ok? I'm not some little kid who's afraid of the dark.
I mean, I wish I wish I wish that's all there was to be afraid of.
Wouldn't that be simple? Annie.
Mommy, please wake up.
Sweetheart.
Do you know how to make coffee? Instant.
Ok.
Make some.
A whole pot.
Lots and lots of scoops.
And, Natalie, get some towels.
Why? What are you gonna do? This.
Uhh! Aah! Stop! Uhh! Claudia? Claudia? I'm sleeping.
Go away.
I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to set up another appointment for you to talk to someone.
I'm already doing that.
I know.
I think you need to see a new therapist.
Yeah, well What's this new therapist gonna do for me? Talk, mainly.
About whatever you're afraid of.
About Charlie dying? Maybe.
Probably.
Talk about how I'm gonna handle things? You know, how I'm gonna cope with things if if he dies? Yes.
Maybe even make me ok with it? In time, claud.
I hope so.
Well I don't want to be ok with it.
'Cause it's not ok.
And it's never gonna be, so I'm not just gonna sit there and let someone try and tell me that it is, so you can just forget about it.
That's exactly what everyone said when my mom and dad left.
"Try and get back to normal, Claudia.
" So So I tried that.
I mean, I really tried that, and I was doing pretty good at it, but That's it.
That's That's it.
I'm not doing it anymore.
I'm not gonna try and be ok with people leaving me Ever again.
How is he? Is he asleep? Drifting off.
Bay, did you know about this? About the cat scan? No.
Did you? God, what was he thinking? That he could just walk out of the house and get in the car and drive away from all this? Just leave it all behind? Hey, I thought the same thing.
Idiot.
Like, a change of scenery was really gonna change anything.
What did you want it to change? What do you mean? All this stuff with Charlie.
But you just said you didn't know about that till now.
Bailey? We need some more firewood.
Bailey? Bay.
What's going on with you? Nothing.
Annie's drinking again.
Oh, no.
Bay.
Yeah, and And it's bad.
It's really bad.
And Look at me.
I'm up here.
I just i just Left.
Yeah, well, come on.
It's a lot to handle, especially for someone who No.
I know.
I had to get outta there.
It was self-preservation for me to get outta there.
And I was taking care of myself Which is a good thing.
Only Only? Only why do I feel like I did something wrong? 'Cause that's you, bay.
Why? Why is that me? Because I wasn't always like this Jule.
I mean, you remember.
When I was, like When I was, like, 15 years old, I was getting in trouble all the time Blowing off my curfew Well, that's just being a kid.
You were a kid.
Right.
And then they died.
They checked out, and the next day, I was I was this Adult.
I went from being 15 one day to 45 the next.
Bailey And you know what? To hell with them.
Because maybe I could've been someone else.
And then maybe I wouldn't be beating myself up over this thing Over leaving her.
And and maybe For a second I could actually believe that it's ok for me to take care of myself.
I get what you're saying.
I do.
I mean, maybe it's the same with me.
Maybe if they were still here, I wouldn't be in such a rush to do everything.
A rush to do what? Anything.
Everything.
And how did that happen? Huh? I mean, god, do you remember me in junior high? I was always looking 5 years ahead.
And now Now it's like even immediate gratification takes too long.
I want what I want now, today, 'cause who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow? So it's like I stopped thinking things through.
You know? I went off to Europe Turned down Stanford, I got married.
You don't regret that, do you? I did that So fast, Bailey.
Too fast.
So what are you saying? Do you think you made a mistake? I didn't ever think of what it would really be like What it really meant to get married.
I just Loved him.
So I said yes.
So I guess me and Charlie aren't the only ones running away Huh? Look, Annie, it's not like I wanted this job, ok? But now I kinda feel like it's mine by default.
Yeah, well are you gonna promise me you're not gonna get in a car with Natalie? You gonna promise me that you're not gonna go to light up the stove and cook something and pass out like you did tonight? 'Cause I'm scared For Natalie.
You need help.
I know that.
You don't think I hate myself for that? You don't think I hate myself for being this way in front of my daughter? But all that does is make me want to drink so I can stop that feeling.
And all that does is make me want to hate myself even more.
I can't even get myself to a meeting.
Well Well, then you need to go somewhere.
You know? You need to I don't know, check yourself into one of those programs or something.
You really think so? Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, that's great.
I mean, where am I gonna leave nat? Home Alone? Or maybe I should just send her off to be with her alcoholic father.
Maybe I should just check her into a hotel.
God.
You You think everything is just neat and simple, don't you? No, I don't.
Listen to me.
There are good answers for people who have money.
And there are good answers for people who have people to take care of them.
But there are no good answers for me.
It's cold.
You barely touched it.
You want me to, uh, reheat it for you? What? Uh, no.
No, I, uh It's it's late.
I better get going.
Where are you gonna go? I don't know.
I gotta find a place.
Why? Why do you have to find a place? No.
I am not staying here with you.
Why? Because.
Uh Forget it.
'Cause I don't trust myself.
Why? What don't you trust yourself about? Come on.
Oh Oh, Rosalie, I What? What are you afraid of? Hurting her? I don't know.
Well I don't know.
It's It's crazy.
I mean I i didn't do anything, and she's treating me like I did, right? Right.
I mean, she kicked me out, right? I mean She kicked me out.
She knew where I was gonna go.
I mean, she already thinks that we're doing it, right? So So? So Mmm Mmm It's 3:00 in the morning.
Who could that be? Something's happened.
Charlie, you gonna get it? Hello? I'm sorry.
Who? Bailey? No.
There's no one here by that name.
What number were you trying to call? You have the wrong number.
Yeah.
Wrong number.
My heart is pounding.
God.
Phone calls in the middle of the night, huh? The phone used to ring all the time in the middle of the night.
Just meant Dad was hung up at the restaurant or mom's car battery died after rehearsal, that's all.
Till that night.
Charlie: Some Police officer Sergeant dubrowski.
Darryl dubrowski Saying "There's been an accident, son.
" Saying it real slow.
Saying it twice.
March 22, 1994, at 11:45.
That's when phone calls in the middle of the night stop being nothing.
And nothing's ever been nothing since, you know? Don't see your brother when you pull up to daycare.
He's been kidnapped.
Your sister gets home late from a from a music lesson.
She got hit by a bus.
Doctor tells you your test results turned up an irregularity And you're gonna die.
'Cause that's the way life works, you know? I know that now.
Charlie Come on, man.
Don't do this to yourself.
Did I do it to myself? I don't know, bay.
For 24 years, I believed that everything always turned out ok.
And then march 22, And now I don't.
Paper got wet.
Says it snowed in Tahoe last night.
I bet you it's pretty up there, don't you think? You know what, Claudia? I spent 5 years doing graduate work in child psychology.
And I have no idea how to make this better for you.
I've been doing this thing lately.
I wake up in the morning, and I tell myself That he's gone.
Charlie.
I tell myself that he's dead.
Then I go about my day Seeing how that feels.
Yeah.
Yeah, I do that all the time Every day.
It's like if we get to that bad place first, we can get used to how it feels to be there.
We can prepare ourselves.
The truth is We can't.
We can't know how it's gonna feel until it happens.
The only thing that's That's gonna make it better Is if we know that he's gonna be ok.
But you can't say that he will.
No, I can't.
So I won't.
Bailey: That's everything? It's everything we came with.
What's he doing? He's making one last check.
Oh.
Well, we really crapped up our memories of this place, huh? Mmm.
Mom and dad would be pleased.
Yeah, well, it serves 'em right.
Bailey, enough.
Let's stop doing that, ok? I don't want to i don't want to feel that way about them.
I'm tired of it.
Aren't you tired of it? I don't know.
You know what I've always thought? I thought that when I get to be 30 years old, I will have been alive as long without them as I was with them.
And then everything will change Because all of a sudden, my life will be about what happened after they died, not about losing them.
And then after that Then whatever happens is up to me.
But that's Stupid.
I mean, what am I waiting for? It's empty.
I checked.
So you ready to take off, man? Yeah.
Hey.
I'm sorry about this.
We shouldn't have brought you out here.
Come on.
That's We had great times here.
So We went for it again.
I was into that.
Just Just won't come back here anymore.
It's weird, huh? It's like you have this This great time in your life before the first really bad thing happens.
And you have that That kid feeling, like the world is completely open and And safe.
Once you lose that, once that first bad thing happens You never get it back.
I guess everybody loses it sometime.
Yeah.
We just lost it sooner than most.
I'll drive.
Ow! Annie.
Annie, it's me.
Are you there? Come on, open up.
Ok, look, Annie, I'm back.
I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere, so let's just deal with this, ok? Annie? Annie? Hey.
Hey.
You're back.
Yeah.
Sarah.
Do you have any idea where Annie? Yeah.
She left about an hour ago.
She left.
Left for where? To haledon.
You know, down the coast? It's supposed to have a really good in-patient program for alcoholism.
She checked herself into a rehab? Ohhh God.
That's And and without she took Natalie with her? No.
N No? She She conked out kinda early.
She's had a rough couple of days.
Annie asked if you'd watch her? Actually I volunteered.
Can I help Is he here? He's in the back.
Julia.
What are you i don't, uh, know what I'm doing, ok? And, um I don't know how I feel about anything, but I've been thinking a lot, and I think that whatever happened It's complicated.
It's probably not just your fault.
Oh, Julia No, let me finish.
It's probably my fault, too.
I don't want to keep blaming everybody for things that happen to me.
I do that too much.
Anyways, um Heh I'm not saying I forgive you But you said you didn't sleep with her, so I want you to come home with me so we can figure stuff out.
Come home with me.
Please.
Charlie: Hey, I'm home! Kirsten: Hi, Charlie, if you're beeping in, I took the kids for Chinese.
We should be back by 7:00.
Owen, no, don't play with the The least you could've done is remember the doggy bag.
Charlie.
Hey.
You're back.
Wh Is everything ok? Everything's fine.
We just, uh, decided it was time to come home.
Answering machine: Hello, Charlie, it's Dr.
rabin.
It's, let's see, 5:45, and I just got off the phone with the lab.
Now you can reach me at the office until 6:30, or, uh, tell you what, let me give you my home number if you're back after that.
It's 555-6827.
You gonna call? Kirsten: Do you want us to No.
Um I'm gonna Dr.
rabin, it's, uh, it's Charlie salinger.
Yes, i Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry.
Could you, uh, could you say that again? No, it's just, um Right.
Right.
Could you I'm sorry.
C-could you just give me a second here? I'm back.
No, it's I'm ok.
In fact, uh, never better.
Never better.