Remington Steele (1982) s04e19 Episode Script

Jelly doughnuts, chocolate éclairs, cinnamon toast.
With a set routine and some self-discipline you should be able to enter the next triathlon with me.
Oh, Laura, I'm ruining my shoes, not to mention my feet.
- Blood doping? - Some athletes will do anything to get that extra edge.
Come, come, now, Laura! No time to rest.
We've got a race to finish.
Come on! Oh! Wait! I'm trying to help! Oh! This is getting to be an expensive habit.
How is it that when I do something dangerous, it's reckless but when you do something suicidal, it's a good idea? - I'm waiting for you to make a brilliant suggestion.
- How about lunch? Hello? Who's there? - Good morning.
- Good morning.
He wants to see you pronto.
That's a switch.
You wanted to see me? Sir? Bit early for you, isn't it, Miss Holt? I mean, it's only 10:30.
Come on, Ebenezer.
Give a working girl a break.
- You're reviewing the O'Donnell contract? - Someone has to.
O'Donnell's expected at noon.
I don't suppose you'd care to be here.
The Hofstadter case.
The Davis investig- Mr.
Steele, if I didn't know you better I'd swear you were immersed in paperwork.
Hmm? Swamped is a more accurate appraisal.
- Well, then I'll let you get on with it.
- What's going on, Laura? Hmm? For two weeks now, you've come in late taken two-hour lunches, and left at 4:00.
I've had to make excuses for you, juggle the clients, handle the paperwork.
I can't reach you when I need to.
- The shoe seems to be on the other foot.
- Yes.
And it's an excruciatingly tight fit.
You're acting more like me.
- There's only room for one me in this office.
- In any office.
I- I wasn't born for desk work, Laura.
I mean, my fingers are shredded with paper cuts my skin's turning a fluorescent green.
Maître d's around town are beginning to forget my face.
Whatever it is you're doing, Laura, it's destroying me.
Thank you very much, Mildred.
- You'd better tell him, hon.
- What? You're in on this, Mildred? You know what Miss Holt's up to, and you haven't told me? Sisterhood is powerful, chief.
I suppose I have been a little unfair, but I didn't think you'd understand.
Understand? Understand what? Look, um- Look, Laura, if- if there's another man here, um- I'm competing in a triathlon tomorrow.
Oh! A triathlon? It's a three-event race.
The lengths can vary.
In this one, you swim two kilometers in the ocean you ride a bike 40 kilometers, and then you run a 10K race.
- Voluntarily? - It's a challenge.
You need to train seriously.
So in the morning, I've been biking.
At lunch, I've been swimming.
And at night, I've been running.
I see.
This has got something to do with a case.
- No.
- It's a charity event? No.
I just wanted to see if I could do it.
If I were a man, would you question it if I told you I was going to enter the Boston Marathon? I would question why anyone would want to run 26 miles without being chased.
I'm doing it for me.
- Oh.
- It's a whole new world, boss.
Women are doing things because they want to.
Thank you, Mildred.
I'm all for women's rights especially their right to work.
The office will return to normal next week.
I promise.
Yes, well, in that case I'll pick you up in the morning.
- What time is this folly of yours? - Registration begins at 7:00.
So if you come at 6:00, that should leave plenty of margin.
What a sport.
Right on time.
He brought the limo? Thanks, Fred.
Oh.
Good morning.
- Morning, morning, morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mildred.
- I thought you were going to pick us up.
Fred gets triple golden time for this.
What's a few dollars more? The man has a family to support.
Children to put through college.
Thank you.
- Fred's not married.
- Shh! Now, what have we here? Ah! Jelly doughnuts, chocolate éclairs, cinnamon toast.
Thanks, but it's not on my training diet.
Mmm.
Pity.
Pull over, Fred.
I'll get out here.
I really don't wanna be seen coming out of a chauffeured limo.
- If you've got it, flaunt it.
- Hmm.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Sure are a lot of people here.
- Yeah.
Wonder how many'll finish? Well, I don't know, but I intend to be one of them.
Well, good for you.
Joan Grey.
- Laura Holt.
- Is this your first triathlon? Yeah.
You? I've done a few.
Just stick to your own pace, and you'll do fine.
- Well, thanks.
You too.
- Well, good luck.
Thanks.
Laura Holt.
Where are the H's? Out of order, of course.
Ah, Holt.
Here we are.
Have a good race.
Thanks.
Just checked out your bike, and everything's A-okay.
- Great.
- Feel all right? Ready.
Good.
Swimmers, on your mark.
Get set.
- Yes, Miss Holt! Come on! Yes! - Come on, Laura! - It's exciting, huh? - Ah, yes, like watching grass grow.
Ajoke, Mildred.
Ajoke.
I'm fraught with anticipation.
Really, really.
Come on! That's her- number 47.
Let's go.
Let's go.
- That's it.
! Come on, honey.
! Come on.
! Go get 'em.
! - Ah! - Go get 'em! - You're the best.
Come on, chief.
There's a better vantage point up the road.
- Can't we just see her from here, Mildred? - Come on! What? Well, go ahead and pass! - Two men came out of nowhere.
- What? Tried to run me off the road.
- I never saw them before.
- Two men what? - In a minute.
- Here's a towel.
- You okay? Yes? - Yeah.
Laura, what about the two men? - Tried to run me off the road.
- Why? - Laura, could we slow down? - Can't.
- Lose my time.
You have to keep up.
- Oh! - Well, what did they want with you? - I don't know.
Maybe you could shadow me for a while, huh? Oh, yeah.
Oh, Laura, I'm ruining my shoes not to mention my feet, my lungs, my heart.
Can't slow down.
- Catch up with me later, huh? - Oh! Oh! Uh.
- It's not her.
- Kendall, you said she was wearing- I said it's not her.
Now get her out of here.
Come, come, now, Laura.
No time to rest.
We've got a race to finish.
Come on.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
The police haven't found the van.
Why would someone enter a public event if she knew she was in trouble? Obviously, she didn't know she was in trouble until she got there.
Here's the dope on that girl that switched numbers with you.
Her name is Joan Grey.
Address is a Venice beach apartment.
Occupation: an exercise instructor.
- And that's all the race committee had.
- Okay.
I'll take the apartment.
Mr.
Steele, you take the exercise club.
- Mildred, you dig for more data on Joan Grey.
- Okay.
Laura, I don't suppose it would do any good to point out that we don't have a client here.
A woman is on the run, two goons try to kidnap me and you worry about getting paid.
Brilliant observation.
Lookin' for someone, honey? Yes.
My sisterJoan-Joan Grey.
She's in 23.
- She ain't here.
- You're the manager? Perhaps you could let me in, and I could wait for her.
Maybe she ain't comin' back.
She didn't come in last night.
And she owes me rent.
Perhaps I could pay it for her.
Do you think I could get in then? - Maybe.
- How much? Two hundred.
- That's her rent? - You're her sister? Let's say this building is rent-controlled and make it 50.
Let's say I repaired her apartment, which makes it 75.
Let's say you only put in new carpeting and make it 60.
You can owe me the rest.
May I have a little privacy? No, no, no.
I got first claims to her stuff if she don't come back.
I gotta protect my investment.
Funny thing about your sister.
She comes to this dive but she's got designer clothes- Gucci bags, silk blouses.
So, uh, what kind of trouble is your sister in? Who said anything about trouble? Get off it, honey.
I knew she was bad news when she first came here.
Oh? And when was that? You know, um the new drapes haven't been paid for yet.
Then maybe you'd better return them.
Thank you for coming.
- Sandra Jenkins? - Yes.
- Remington Steele.
- Hi.
It's a wonderful establishment you have here.
Oh, thank you.
What can I do for you, Mr.
Steele? Oh, I just breezed in from New Zealand.
Auckland Triathlon.
Outstanding.
I'm looking for a friend of mine- Joan Grey.
I thought I might work out with her.
Joan has a lot of friends all of a sudden.
Uh, I don't, um, understand.
- You see that gentleman sitting over there? - Mm-hmm.
He's been waiting for her all morning.
He says he's on the Olympic Advisory Committee.
Pretty funny, huh? Well, like I told him I really don't know whereJoan is.
Sorry.
And, um, Mr.
Steele, there is no Auckland Triathlon.
Mm-hmm.
So much for that brilliant deception.
- Miss Jenkins, permit me to start over.
- Why? Perhaps because you're concerned aboutJoan.
The girl at the desk told me you were friends.
- Yeah? So? - Joan disappeared at the Westside Triathlon.
- I was there.
- Then you must be wondering what happened to her.
She's being followed.
At the race she exchanged numbers with Laura Holt who was subsequently batted around by two gentlemen who obviously thought that she was Joan.
Laura Holt is a private investigator and she tends to get curious about things like this.
- So do I.
- She's your girlfriend? She works for Remington Steele Investigations.
I see.
And you're her boss? Something like that.
The point is, we'd like to know exactly what's going on.
Well, so would I.
Now who's he? Don't know.
But only one of us is telling you the truth.
Joan's in trouble, and we'd better find her before they do.
Okay.
Why don't you come into my office? Hmm.
What do you think of the jacket? Let's talk, shall we, eh? You should be more careful, mate.
Now what do you want with me? Or should I say, Joan Grey? Eh? Come on.
Speak to me! Can it, Ivory! Let's get out of here! What did you hope to accomplish by confronting two men alone in an alley? You're a remarkable source of comfort at times like these, Laura.
Just being honest.
We're obviously dealing with desperate people here.
What was I supposed to do, invite the man to dinner? No need to get testy.
Laura, how is it that whenever you lose your temper, it's being honest but whenever I lose my temper, it's being testy? Okay.
I got some bad news, some good news and some bad news.
- Lay it on us, Mildred.
- The bad news is thatJoan Grey is an alias.
The good news is that she's reallyJoan Black who came here six weeks ago from San Diego.
The bad news is thatJoan Black is also an alias, and that's where the trail goes cold.
Hmm.
It appears our mystery woman's been on the run for quite some time.
I started a check on anyone with the name Ivory fitting the description you gave me, chief.
What about the name on that credit card receipt I found? Joan Kendall? Still trying.
But my contact at the credit bureau needs a little sweetening, if you get my drift.
- He's a Raiders fan.
- Offer him Mr.
Steele's seats for the San Francisco game.
You got it.
Laura, this case is getting very costly, don't you think? Oh, come on, Mr.
Steele.
You still don't know the difference between a double reverse and a double scotch.
- Nevertheless, I mean- - Now, where were we? Sandra at the health club told you thatJoan came to work there about six weeks ago.
That checks with Mildred's description.
Mm-hmm.
Apparently, Joan's got marital problems.
Well, at least, that's Sandra's impression.
They're good friends, but Joan doesn't talk about herself very much.
And Sandra hasn't seen Joan since the race? Mmm.
That fellow who looked you over in the van- His name is Kendall? Right.
My guess is that Joan Grey is really Mrs.
Kendall and the man chasing her is her husband.
What about Ivory and his two cohorts? I've made my breakthrough for the day, Mr.
Steele.
I'm waiting for you to make a brilliant suggestion.
How about lunch? Hmm? Not exactly what I had in mind.
This isn't working out like you said, Gullickson.
Let go of me, Ivory.
Let go! I'm just as frustrated as you are.
Obviously, Kendall lied to me about his wife being away on a vacation.
But the fact remains, Kendall adores her.
I've worked with the guy long enough to know that.
No, she's still the key.
- So how are we gonna find her? - Same as before.
Hard work.
Well, how long is this gonna take? I got a team to coach.
That's right.
We're athletes, not bloodhounds.
Were.
You were athletes.
Now you're just businessmen like everybody else.
You guys make me sick.
You should have been set for life, but you blew it.
And now you're crying because you might have to actually do some work to earn your money.
You came to me, remember? It's a little late for second thoughts.
All right.
How do we find the girl? So what does the Remington Steele Agency have to do with my wife? - Beats me.
- I'm not surprised.
At least I can understand how you and your partner screwed up.
From a distance, she does look a little bit like my wife.
Look, pal, we've been workin' from a few lousy photographs.
If you weren't so afraid to show your face, we probably could have grabbed her at the race.
Just drive.
It's one of the men who chased me in the race.
Wow.
Check this out.
Uh-oh.
New York City Police.
I hope you know more about this than I do.
Fill us in again on what happened.
Joan called me an hour ago.
She sounded really frightened.
I have a key to her apartment, so she asked me to come over here and collect a few things and then meet her at Union Station.
Then I called you and asked you to meet me here.
And then I came over.
Where he was waiting for you.
What'd you use on him? Karate? No, a- a well-placed knee and a cast-iron frying pan.
Also effective.
Did you tellJoan we're trying to help her? No, she hung up too fast.
Look, you guys, I'm a little freaked out by all this and I don't wanna go to Union Station by myself.
You can ride with us.
Oh.
Great.
Out of the way! - I need the police! - I am the police.
- What? - We've been tracking a known felon calling herselfJoan Grey.
I knew it.
I knew it! Right now, I need to find Joan Grey.
They're all going to Union Station.
Thank you.
Hey! Hey! She's behind in her rent.
How am I gonna get paid? I'm tellin' ya, Ernie should've been back there at that apartment building.
- I'm turnin' around to find out what happened to him.
- You'll do nothing of the kind.
What probably happened to him is he got a sudden urge to get something to eat.
We don't work that way.
Look for him on your own time.
Right now, I'm paying you to follow them.
There she is.
Joan.
! Look.
- That's her! - And that's the guy from the health club! - There's the other guy who was chasing me.
- Come on.
Let's slow 'em down.
Wait! I'm trying to help! Get up.
You've got a lot of explaining to do.
Come on.
Oh! This is getting to be an expensive habit.
- Wait! - Let me- I'm only trying to help you! Go on! Run! Take off! That's it! I mean, what difference does it make to you that you almost got someone killed at the triathlon, eh? No, no.
No, don't stop.
I mean, it's clear you don't care about anybody else but yourself.
Go.
You're talking about the girl I switched numbers with.
Is she okay? I couldn't think of anything- I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Ah.
Yes.
Well, why don't you tell her yourself? Who are you? Uh, my name's Remington Steele.
I'm a private investigator and the woman you jeopardized is my associate, Laura Holt.
Look, look, look.
I know you're frightened.
A lot of strange things have been happening.
But I'm only here to help you and to sort out what's going on.
That's all.
I don't know if I believe you.
- I don't know if I believe anybody anymore.
- All right.
All right.
Then we'll just, uh- We'll just stay here until you get comfortable.
You're safe.
No one's gonna harm you.
And, besides, I don't think I could run another step.
Are you really a detective? How long have you and your wife been separated? Two months.
She said I was too possessive.
Maybe she was right.
That's why I promised her I wouldn't try to contact her while she was away.
Oh.
So you sent two off-duty cops instead? No.
I kept up my end.
It wasn't until she called me that I did that.
We love each other, but, uh- but it wasn't working for me.
So he promised I could get away for a while without him interfering.
So you left New York to go to San Diego.
I love athletics, and it's a great town for it.
I just wanted to train and try to forget about things for a while.
But, uh- But then my friend told me that two men had come looking for me.
- A black and a Latino.
- Right.
She called out of the blue, crying and calling me all sorts of names.
I tried to calm her down, but all she would say was how could I send people after her? It didn't make any sense.
I mean, who would be after my wife? I decided to hire some people to find her so I could figure out what was going on.
So why theJames Bond routine at the triathlon? That was their idea.
They were supposed to just contact her and then bring her to me.
You see, I thought she'd run away if she saw me first.
Not that it made any difference.
I don't agree with what you did, but at least now I understand why you did it.
Can I have my gun back now? I'm gonna go and find my partner.
- I'll send you a bill.
- I'm sure you will.
I can't believe how badly I screwed things up.
You're not the one who set all this in motion.
When Mr.
Steele returns with your wife perhaps we can finally solve the mystery here.
So you don't think Allan had anything to do with those two men in San Diego? No.
God, I've been so unfair.
Come on.
We'll go back together get in touch with your husband and the two of you can talk it all out.
Come on.
Oh! Oh! Oh, no.
Forget him! We want the girl! She's getting away! Move it! Remington Steele Investigations.
No, I'm sorry, he's not here.
No.
Yes.
Yes, I'll tell him as soon as I see him.
Mr.
Steele's tailor.
His suit is ready.
Four hours.
I think I got something.
Several references to an athlete named Thomas Ivory a former world-class sprinter.
Now, he did pretty well for a while.
Then he got involved with a blood-doping scandal about five years ago.
- Blood doping? - Yeah.
That's when they supercharge the blood to get a better performance.
Some athletes will do anything just to get that extra edge, especially at that level.
Whoa.
Fantastic work, Mildred.
Anything else? - A couple of articles.
Don't add to much.
- Mm-hmm.
That picture- That guy there next to Ivory that's Joe Gullickson, our company's public relations director.
The man on the other side- "Cesar Aguayo Argentinean soccer captain.
" Well, maybe that's the man that Mr.
Steele encountered earlier.
- So what does that mean? - I think I know.
I'm a chemical engineer researching steroids.
You've probably heard about steroids because a lot of athletes have been using them to bulk up.
It's very controversial right now because of all the side effects.
Anyway, a few months ago, I inadvertently developed a formula for a steroid that cannot be detected by blood tests.
I even joked with Gullickson about it because it has no bearing on my research.
But it would be worth a fortune on the black market for athletes.
Well, it looks as if your wife is just an innocent dupe in all this.
Apparently, Gullickson and his friends want to ransom her for your formula.
Where is she? Speaking about missing persons, where's the boss? Bet you thought I'd run off with another woman, eh? Thank God you're all right.
Where are you? What happened? I caught up with Joan Kendall.
Everything was fine until those two lovely chaps I met before appeared.
We played Red Rover.
I lost.
- Did they getJoan? - I don't think so.
Looked like she had a pretty good lead before the lights went out.
You better come down here and help me try to find her.
I'm on the corner of 17 th and Sheridan.
And bring a jacket, will you? We're on our way.
And don't do anything reckless in the meantime.
I might just to annoy you.
Remington Steele Investigations.
Whoa.
Slow down, honey.
Where is Mr.
Steele? I need to talk to him.
This is Joan Kendall.
He's out there looking for you.
Listen, honey, where are you? Give me your address.
Hello? Joan? Best I could do on short notice.
Oh, what am I gonna do with you? - Allan Kendall, I presume.
- Mr.
Steele, look, I'm really sorry.
We'll exchange regrets later.
Right now, I suggest we fan out and look for your wife.
What we should do is flush out Ivory and the others before they can get toJoan.
- And how are we gonna do that? - By giving them anotherJoan to follow.
Hmm? You're gonna go out there as a decoy? It's a good idea.
It worked once.
We can do it again.
Laura, how is it that when I do something dangerous, it's reckless but when you do something suicidal, it's a good idea? Mr.
Steele, this is no time to argue semantics.
- Strong woman.
- Headstrong is what comes to mind.
Headstrong.
Come on.
There she is! Let's not blow it this time.
Kendall! Damn! - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah.
That guy packs a mean wallop.
What took you so long? Missed my train.
- Oh.
How'd it go? - Fine.
There are enough charges against Gullickson, Ivory and Aguayo to keep them behind bars for a long time.
And you of the happy ending school, Mildred, will be pleased to know thatJoan and Allan have been reconciled.
Oh! Good for them.
Oh, Miss Holt, there's a package for you in your office.
Follow me, Mr.
Steele.
Mildred, why do I get the sinking feeling that I'm in for an unpleasant surprise? Relax, chief.
You'll get a lot of mileage out of it.
Right.
You earned it.
Running shoes? With a set routine and some self-discipline you should be able to enter the next triathlon with me.
Thanks.
But pursuing you is all the exercise I need.