Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s04e19 Episode Script

I'm putting you idiots on notice.
I want tonight's show to go
off like clockwork, or else.
Or else what?
I'll heave you into the moat.
We have a moat?
Is it one of those above-ground redwood jobs?
Nope. It's 8-foot deep steel-reinforced concrete
with a smooth gunnite surface.
Did you have that installed with a permaflex?
You got the polyurethane coat?
If you didn't, you got robbed.
Listen, we have 2 of tv's movers
and shakers on the show tonight.
If we play our cards right,
we'll all be frolicking on the dock
as we drink from the sweet gravy boat of success.
Mmm, gravy.
I can almost taste it.
Well, why don't you go on up
and order a big bowl of it?
Hey, uh, get me one, too.
Yes, get us all one.
Greetings. I'm Space Ghost.
We've all been drinking gravy
and preparing to suck up
mightily to tonight's guests
talk show soup person John host henson
and goenBob Entertainment person tonight.
I heard hanson was here!
Not hanson.
Henson. John henson.
Henson. John henson.
OhOh.
Hey, Space Ghost, you got something on your face.
Hey, Space Ghost, you got something on your face.
It's gravy.
Where did you get gravy?!
In the commissary.
What is it, giblet?
What is it, giblet?
No. It's brown.
Brown!
I'm going down there now!
I'm going down there now!
Zorak, play something funky.
I need to go get a wet wipe.
All righty, then.
Please say hello to our
first guest Mr. John henson.
Hey, how are you?
No, Mr. henson. The question is,
how are you? You comfy? You know,
you look quite beautiful tonight.
I'm sorry?
I said, you look very handsome tonight.
You know, I know this girl.
She'd be perfect for you.
You know, I know this girl.
She'd be perfect for you.
Do you?
She's really nice.
Actually, she's my sister Judy.
Actually, she's my sister Judy.
Actually, she's my sister Judy.
You'd like her a lot.
Right.
She's so nice.
Right.
Hey, Space Ghost, not Judy. No, no, no. Bad.
Hey, Space Ghost, not Judy. No, no, no. Bad.
You trying to scare him away?
We'll find somebody else to play my sister
you're gonna screw up this whole deal
don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
Because we want you to have a
pleasant time on the show Ok.
And after the show.
And after the show.
Oh.
All righty, then. It's a date.
All righty, then. It's a date.
Now, back to your stunning good looks.
Now, back to your stunning good looks.
Do you use a conditioner or a
creme rinse for your defect?
I mean, hair. "Hair" is what I said.
Uh, well I have a skunk spot.
Ahh! You're kidding!
We wouldn't have even noticed
if you hadn't pointed it out.
Really? Uh, which si oh, yeah. Right there.
Looks like a third eye to me.
Zorak!
Hey, hey, hey.
Ix-nay on the ot-spay.
You idiot!
Uh, I mean, I like it.
I like the third eye. It's neat.
I like the third eye. It's neat.
That's the nicest third eye I've ever seen.
You like that, don't you?
Love it.
Big with the chicks.
Oh, you're money, baby.
Am I?
Zorak, please.
You know, Mr. henson, around these parts,
we often refer to your show
as "the greatest program ever
in the history of television."
As "the greatest program ever
in the history of television."
Do you have any pet names for my show?
Uh"That freaky cartoon thing,"
and, umSometimes we just call it
"the zorak hour."
What?
Oh, yeah!
And so I crushed it in my bare hands!
Hey, shut up, fat boy!
As you wish, my green lord.
Now, play me some music, and it better be good.
Now, play me some music, and it better be good.
Don't hurt me, master.
I'm coming to get you!
No! Put that down! Not that! No!
"The zorak hour?"
I shouldn't have said that.
I I shouldn't have said that. I
How do you feel about "the zorak hour now?
OhUm
I'd feel fear.
Space Ghost, don't do this.
You're blowing it.
I'm blowing it.
John! Buddy! Hold on!
John! Buddy! Hold on!
I wasn't going to shoot you.
I wasn't going to shoot you.
Just kidding!
We do that with everybody here.
We're still friends, right?
Yeah, I would consider you and I
to be very good friends, very close friends.
In fact, I don't know if I'm
moving too quickly for you,
but I think you might be my
best friend at this point.
Really?
Yeah.
So you'll let me host your show sometime.
Yeah.
Which will, of course,
lead to a lucrative picture deal.
Absolutely.
Can we go to the fun place?
The fun time place? Sure. Sure.
I'm going to drop your name at parties.
Ha ha! Drop it, man!
Let it fall.
Drop that name and see where it gets you.
We're a team now, Johnny.
Let's go kick some butt.
Ok. Deal.
Starting with Oprah.
I don't think anybody's beating Oprah, man.
Wait until she tastes my vanilla thunder!
Wait until she tastes my vanilla thunder!
I'd like to see you dunk over Oprah.
You think you could post her up?
Oh, I'd post her up, all right.
You don't have to worry about that, my man.
Take Oprah to the hole. I dare you!
Take Oprah to the hole. I dare you!
I'm off to take Oprah to the hole.
I'll never be able to take Oprah to the hole.
I'll just fly around awhile and lie about it later.
I'll just fly around awhile and lie about it later.
Um, I've often thought that deep inside me,
there's a big slavic nurse just waiting to get out.
Whoa! Where did that come from?
Is that true?
No. I just made that up.
Oh. Because I was going to ask
you to release her, if you could.
To release her, if you could.
Release her! Release the big slavic nurse!
Release her! Release the big slavic nurse!
Yeah. I bet you'd like me to, wouldn't you?
Yeah. I bet you'd like me to, wouldn't you?
WellSure.
Of course.
You and everybody else, pal.
Sorry. You don't have the money.
Oprah's outside game was a shambles.
Oprah's outside game was a shambles.
I exploited her weaknesses time and again.
You just flew around for a while, didn't you?
UmOprah and I dribbled the ball.
Didn't you?!
Yes.
Mr. henson, does your tongue ever get sore?
I'm sorry?
From talking because mine sure does.
After 15 minutes of this,"does my tongue get sore?"
UhDid I say something wrong?
Yeah.
Backpedal. Rephrase question.
Hey, John. Want to see my tongue?
No!
Oh, no. I've lost it.
Is it me?
It's not you, John. You're great.
It's him.
John, I thought we were friends.
You know that I promote you, right?
Yes, sir.
Right. SoCareful.
I made you, and I can break you.
Yeah. But I still get to host your show, right?
I don't know if you could carry one off.
Hey, no fair! You said I could
Aah! A bee! A bee!
There's a bee in the studio! Aah!
This is fun. You ready for this?
Mr. henson and I were actually co-presenters
Mr. henson and I were actually co-presenters
at the Dallas local ace awards.
Real good guy.
Yep. Real good guy.
That's um Oh, thank heavens.
I thought he would never leave.
Uh, Bob, can you hear me?
Uh, Bob, can you hear me?
You, either.
Bob!
Hey. How you doing? Is this David?
No, Bob. It's Moltar.
How you doing, Space Ghost?
Uh, no, no, Bob. Moltar.
I'm going to patch you through to Space Ghost.
I'm going to patch you through to Space Ghost.
Ok. I'll refer to him as
Space Ghost. Space Ghost?
Space Ghost.
Ok. Great.
10 seconds, Bob.
Uh, you know, I enjoy the work you do, and Bob?
You know, interviewing celebrities you know,
interviewing celebrities Bob.
And watching you do it Bob!
Pardon?
I'm Moltar.
Ladies and gentlemen, host of
entertainment tonight, Bob goen!
Hey, Bob. How's it goen?
Hey, Bob. How's it goen?
Ha ha! Get it?
Ha ha! Get it?
Yeah. Yeah, life's pretty cool.
Yeah. Yeah, life's pretty cool.
You know what I think, Bob?
I think you're pretty cool.
Why is that?
Oh, you know. A lot of different reasons.
You are one pretty man.
Yeah.
Aren't you envious?
Really? That's an interesting response.
Interesting is my middle name, Bob.
That's why you should have me on
your show as soon as possible.
You know, see you're thinking.
You have a big a grand career plan, don't you?
I'm only thinking of you, Bob.
You are?
And me, being on entertainment tonight.
You know, we get a lot of letters
asking about, uh, when we're going to have
an animated talk show from outer space on the show.
And?
And, so, now that you're here
Hey, what about us?
Yeah, you guys, too.
You were going to leave us out, weren't you?
Yeah, and take all the glory for yourself.
Yeah, and take all the glory for yourself.
Oh, no. We're a team!
Oh, no. We're a team!
They mean nothing to me, Bob.
Yeah. I could understand.
Dead weight.
Is your, uhSchedule is pretty open?
Well, let me tell you, Bob.
I'm busy for about 15 minutes a week,
but outside of that, I'm all yours.
Oh. Wow. Ok.
All I ask in return is a couple of tickets
to see your predecessor, my man tesh.
I can get you there. I can get you in the door.
Bob, you're the best.
I'll have my people call your people.
Really?
Actually, I'll probably just
call you myself from a pay phone.
I see.
Hey, I have an idea.
Why don't you practice interviewing me now?
Then it will be more spontaneous
when we do it for real later.
That's right. Yeah.
UhSo, uh, Space Ghost,
uh So, uh, Space Ghost,
if you could be any animal in the world,
if you could be any animal in the world,
what would it be and why?
Um I would think
An eel.
Why would you say an eel?
Just because they're so neat.
Ok. Great.
Ok. Great.
Uh Space Ghost!
What is it, Moltar?
There's a flood in the commissary!
What?
Brak left the gravy faucet on.
Ahh! The gravy!
It's a brown, onion-flavored nightmare down there.
Send me some biscuits, quick!
Send me some biscuits, quick!
Moltar, seal the bulkhead.
It's too late for that.
Bilge out the bow and port thrusters.
There's too much gravy! The pumps can't take it!
It's flooding like you wouldn't
Bob, I need to get down there before Brak
drowns in rich, creamy coagulated meat juices!
Oh.
Thanks, Space Ghost.
I really enjoyed myself.
No, Bob. It's Moltar.
Exactly. Yeah. Um Save your breath, chief.
Space Ghost is gone.
Oh, really?
He blew you off!
You know what? That tesh concert, forget it.
He's not going.