Impractical Jokers (2017) s04e20 Episode Script
Smushed
narrator: Coming up Why is q gunning for sal? no! Why is q gunning for sal? no! [ laughter .]
no! [ laughter .]
narrator: Why is murr [ laughter .]
narrator: Why is murr spinning his wheels? narrator: Why is murr spinning his wheels? we're doing this together, Spinning his wheels? we're doing this together, man.
we're doing this together, man.
We're in this together.
Man.
We're in this together.
[ laughter .]
We're in this together.
[ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker [ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker will fall flat in tonight's big narrator: And which joker will fall flat in tonight's big punishment? Will fall flat in tonight's big punishment? [ children screaming .]
Punishment? [ children screaming .]
prepare for something [ children screaming .]
prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today we're teaming up as security consultants, presenting new technologies and innovations Security consultants, presenting new technologies and innovations in the field of security.
New technologies and innovations in the field of security.
unfortunately, the ridiculous In the field of security.
unfortunately, the ridiculous presentation has been written by unfortunately, the ridiculous presentation has been written by the other team.
Presentation has been written by the other team.
at the end, we'll ask the The other team.
at the end, we'll ask the group to raise their hands if at the end, we'll ask the group to raise their hands if they've learned anything of Group to raise their hands if they've learned anything of value.
whichever team gets the Fewest hands raised at the end, Uh, will lose.
that's how it works.
it will lose, yes.
That team will lose.
you and I are good at this Kind of stuff.
this is a home run.
hey.
How's it going? Welcome.
My name's james murray.
I'm joe gatto.
and we run a security Solutions company.
yep.
meet the team.
I'm james murray.
I was born in savannah.
I'm james murray.
I was born in savannah.
Yes, I'm a southern boy at I was born in savannah.
Yes, I'm a southern boy at heart.
Yes, I'm a southern boy at heart.
I moved up to new york a few Heart.
I moved up to new york a few years back, and we started our I moved up to new york a few years back, and we started our company.
Years back, and we started our company.
mm-hmm.
Company.
mm-hmm.
uh mm-hmm.
uh [ chuckles .]
uh [ chuckles .]
[ southern accent .]
your [ chuckles .]
[ southern accent .]
your securr'ity is my number-one [ southern accent .]
your securr'ity is my number-one priority.
Securr'ity is my number-one priority.
securr'ity.
Priority.
securr'ity.
[ normal voice .]
sometimes securr'ity.
[ normal voice .]
sometimes the south slips in.
[ normal voice .]
sometimes the south slips in.
A little more about us and what The south slips in.
A little more about us and what we do.
A little more about us and what we do.
We do.
assistance.
assistance.
[ laughs .]
Assistance.
[ laughs .]
so, sure, with other [ laughs .]
so, sure, with other companies, you'll have a faster so, sure, with other companies, you'll have a faster response, but most of the time Companies, you'll have a faster response, but most of the time you won't need it.
Response, but most of the time you won't need it.
What we do is a delayed You won't need it.
What we do is a delayed assistance, so we'll wait to What we do is a delayed assistance, so we'll wait to make sure that you're really in Assistance, so we'll wait to make sure that you're really in danger.
Make sure that you're really in danger.
[ laughter .]
Danger.
[ laughter .]
how is any delay good in [ laughter .]
how is any delay good in personal security? how is any delay good in personal security? right.
Personal security? right.
40% of the company has been right.
40% of the company has been in or around a jail.
40% of the company has been in or around a jail.
[ laughter .]
In or around a jail.
[ laughter .]
we go in and we get people [ laughter .]
we go in and we get people that have done the deed.
we go in and we get people that have done the deed.
I mean, who are you gonna trust That have done the deed.
I mean, who are you gonna trust around a house? I mean, who are you gonna trust around a house? Reformed criminals.
Around a house? Reformed criminals.
[ laughter .]
Reformed criminals.
[ laughter .]
we've actually made a few [ laughter .]
we've actually made a few innovations in the home-security we've actually made a few innovations in the home-security market.
Innovations in the home-security market.
So, these are products that we Market.
So, these are products that we actually sell to homeowners.
So, these are products that we actually sell to homeowners.
The best place to hide a safe? Actually sell to homeowners.
The best place to hide a safe? People always wonder, "where in The best place to hide a safe? People always wonder, "where in my house do I hide it?" People always wonder, "where in my house do I hide it?" can you spot the safe in this My house do I hide it?" can you spot the safe in this photo? under the bed.
no, no, no, no.
Not at our company because the Safe in this photo safe dogz.
safe dogz.
[ laughter .]
from the window, they look Like real dogs, right? and they are real dogs.
they're real dogs.
[ laughter .]
You feed them these digestible pouches.
It gets sorted inside them and Pouches.
It gets sorted inside them and [chuckling.]
keeps your valuables It gets sorted inside them and [chuckling.]
keeps your valuables safe at all times.
[chuckling.]
keeps your valuables safe at all times.
yeah, but the problem is Safe at all times.
yeah, but the problem is every three days you have to yeah, but the problem is every three days you have to restock your safes.
Every three days you have to restock your safes.
he's keeping himself awake.
Restock your safes.
he's keeping himself awake.
[ laughing .]
look at his face.
he's keeping himself awake.
[ laughing .]
look at his face.
another option we offer at [ laughing .]
look at his face.
another option we offer at jameseph security another option we offer at jameseph security mm-hmm.
Jameseph security mm-hmm.
Is a 24/7 live-cam mm-hmm.
Is a 24/7 live-cam bathroom feed.
Is a 24/7 live-cam bathroom feed.
[ laughter .]
Bathroom feed.
[ laughter .]
for instance, this is live right [ laughter .]
for instance, this is live right now.
For instance, this is live right now.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
no crime has happened, right? that's a lot.
no crime has happened, right? that's a lot.
[ laughter .]
that's a lot.
[ laughter .]
this is raising a few alarms.
[ laughter .]
this is raising a few alarms.
Why is he using so much paper? this is raising a few alarms.
Why is he using so much paper? why so much paper? Why is he using so much paper? why so much paper? [ laughter .]
why so much paper? [ laughter .]
he's gone through a whole [ laughter .]
he's gone through a whole spool.
he's gone through a whole spool.
Now he's wrapping it on his Spool.
Now he's wrapping it on his hand.
Now he's wrapping it on his hand.
Something is not right.
Hand.
Something is not right.
That would've raised red flags.
Something is not right.
That would've raised red flags.
The computer would've flagged That would've raised red flags.
The computer would've flagged that.
The computer would've flagged that.
yeah.
That.
yeah.
now, I hope he's going to yeah.
now, I hope he's going to Okay.
now, I hope he's going to Okay.
The computer would've identified Okay.
The computer would've identified that, too.
The computer would've identified that, too.
a problem, yeah.
That, too.
a problem, yeah.
[ laughter .]
a problem, yeah.
[ laughter .]
thank you, guys.
[ laughter .]
thank you, guys.
by show of hands, how many of Thank you, guys.
by show of hands, how many of you feel that you've learned a by show of hands, how many of you feel that you've learned a fair amount about securr'ity You feel that you've learned a fair amount about securr'ity today? Fair amount about securr'ity today? so, one, two, three, four.
Today? so, one, two, three, four.
Okay.
There you go.
so, one, two, three, four.
Okay.
There you go.
come on! Okay.
There you go.
come on! good.
come on! good.
they just watched a dude take good.
they just watched a dude take a [bleep.]
for two minutes! they just watched a dude take a [bleep.]
for two minutes! don't be scurred.
A [bleep.]
for two minutes! don't be scurred.
Be securred.
don't be scurred.
Be securred.
[ ding! .]
Be securred.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
is that? Oh, that's clearly something.
I mean, why -- that's clearly Something.
don't worry about what's under the sheet.
don't tell me not to worry Under the sheet.
don't tell me not to worry about what's under the sheets.
don't tell me not to worry about what's under the sheets.
[ laughs .]
About what's under the sheets.
[ laughs .]
here we go.
[ laughs .]
here we go.
hey, everybody.
Here we go.
hey, everybody.
how's it going, guys? hey, everybody.
how's it going, guys? how are you doing? how's it going, guys? how are you doing? My name is sal vulcano.
how are you doing? My name is sal vulcano.
I'm brian quinn.
My name is sal vulcano.
I'm brian quinn.
together we own a security I'm brian quinn.
together we own a security solutions company.
together we own a security solutions company.
Okay, so, let's go on.
Solutions company.
Okay, so, let's go on.
Hiring personal security is an Okay, so, let's go on.
Hiring personal security is an option.
Hiring personal security is an option.
it's a great option.
Option.
it's a great option.
a dedicated, like, personnel it's a great option.
a dedicated, like, personnel is what we provide.
a dedicated, like, personnel is what we provide.
it's an option.
Is what we provide.
it's an option.
meet brock.
it's an option.
meet brock.
We take turns hiring brock each meet brock.
We take turns hiring brock each night to personally protect us.
We take turns hiring brock each night to personally protect us.
really? Night to personally protect us.
really? look at those arms.
really? look at those arms.
Are you gonna mess with that look at those arms.
Are you gonna mess with that guy? Are you gonna mess with that guy? No.
Guy? No.
[ laughter .]
[ laughing .]
that's brock.
brock also has a soothing Voice, and, hey, so now you're Not just getting personal Security.
You're getting a sweet bedtime Story.
baby, don't go to sleep unless you got to go to sleep for awhile unless you got to go to sleep for awhile rock-a-bye, baby-bye For awhile rock-a-bye, baby-bye go to sleep now or die rock-a-bye, baby-bye go to sleep now or die that's -- that's brock.
go to sleep now or die that's -- that's brock.
[ laughter .]
that's -- that's brock.
[ laughter .]
we'll do some role-playing.
[ laughter .]
we'll do some role-playing.
And we'll show you how people's we'll do some role-playing.
And we'll show you how people's first instincts aren't always And we'll show you how people's first instincts aren't always the right ones.
First instincts aren't always the right ones.
I'll be the homeowner.
The right ones.
I'll be the homeowner.
and I'll be the burglar I'll be the homeowner.
and I'll be the burglar pretending to be a pizza and I'll be the burglar pretending to be a pizza delivery guy.
Pretending to be a pizza delivery guy.
[ seductive music playing .]
Delivery guy.
[ seductive music playing .]
[ laughter .]
[ seductive music playing .]
[ laughter .]
start role-playing.
[ laughter .]
start role-playing.
so, I'm doing dishes.
start role-playing.
so, I'm doing dishes.
ding, dong.
so, I'm doing dishes.
ding, dong.
oh, that must be the pizza I ding, dong.
oh, that must be the pizza I ordered.
oh, that must be the pizza I ordered.
[ laughter .]
Ordered.
[ laughter .]
what do I owe you? [ laughter .]
what do I owe you? is there anybody home? What do I owe you? is there anybody home? I mean, I ordered the pizza is there anybody home? I mean, I ordered the pizza for myself.
I mean, I ordered the pizza for myself.
[ laughs .]
For myself.
[ laughs .]
so, you're confirming that [ laughs .]
so, you're confirming that you're home by yourself.
so, you're confirming that you're home by yourself.
that's correct.
You're home by yourself.
that's correct.
No! that's correct.
No! [ laughter .]
No! [ laughter .]
the pizza.
[ laughter .]
the pizza.
[ laughter .]
The pizza.
[ laughter .]
okay, so, innovative [ laughter .]
okay, so, innovative home-security products that we Okay, so, innovative home-security products that we have brought to market.
Home-security products that we have brought to market.
[ gong crashes .]
Have brought to market.
[ gong crashes .]
this is exciting, guys.
[ gong crashes .]
this is exciting, guys.
[ laughter .]
This is exciting, guys.
[ laughter .]
it's tomfoolery.
[ laughter .]
it's tomfoolery.
It's trickery, right? It's tomfoolery.
It's trickery, right? See, he's like, "I don't know.
" [ gong crashes .]
[ laughter .]
like, a ninja lives here.
"could be a dojo.
" [ laughs .]
uh, a big-ass boulder.
[ laughs .]
uh, a big-ass boulder.
[ laughter .]
uh, a big-ass boulder.
[ laughter .]
let's see how it works.
[ laughter .]
let's see how it works.
[ laughter .]
Let's see how it works.
[ laughter .]
turn around, guys.
[ laughter .]
turn around, guys.
What's under the sheet? turn around, guys.
What's under the sheet? [ laughter .]
What's under the sheet? [ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
so, I'll be the burglar breaking [ chuckles .]
so, I'll be the burglar breaking in.
So, I'll be the burglar breaking in.
So, I'm like, "oh, yeah, I've In.
So, I'm like, "oh, yeah, I've been scoping out this house.
" So, I'm like, "oh, yeah, I've been scoping out this house.
" [ dramatic music plays .]
Been scoping out this house.
" [ dramatic music plays .]
uh-oh.
Who's that? [ dramatic music plays .]
uh-oh.
Who's that? oh, I see some diamonds I'm uh-oh.
Who's that? oh, I see some diamonds I'm gonna steal.
oh, I see some diamonds I'm gonna steal.
Creak! Gonna steal.
Creak! Creak! Creak! Creak! that's a telltale sign.
Creak! that's a telltale sign.
[ laughter .]
that's a telltale sign.
[ laughter .]
I push the button.
[ laughter .]
I push the button.
[ grunts .]
I push the button.
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
aah! [ laughs .]
aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
wh-- who's speaking chinese?! [ laughter .]
wh-- who's speaking chinese?! [ laughter .]
Wh-- who's speaking chinese?! [ laughter .]
I don't even deal with this.
[ laughter .]
I don't even deal with this.
We have a cleanup service.
I don't even deal with this.
We have a cleanup service.
[ laughter .]
We have a cleanup service.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
all right.
All right.
all right.
thanks.
all right.
thanks.
if you could -- if you feel thanks.
if you could -- if you feel you've learned anything of if you could -- if you feel you've learned anything of value, could you please just You've learned anything of value, could you please just raise your hand, show of hands? Value, could you please just raise your hand, show of hands? one, two, three.
Raise your hand, show of hands? one, two, three.
three.
Okay.
one, two, three.
three.
Okay.
We appreciate your time, guys.
three.
Okay.
We appreciate your time, guys.
[ buzzer .]
We appreciate your time, guys.
[ buzzer .]
aah! [ buzzer .]
aah! not enough.
aah! not enough.
narrator: Sal and q couldn't not enough.
narrator: Sal and q couldn't secure a win, so they're first narrator: Sal and q couldn't secure a win, so they're first up on the loser board.
what a beautiful day to make New friends.
so, we have to try and Convince strangers to hold our Hand.
if you can't get a stranger To hold your hand, you lose.
like the beatles said I want to live in a yellow Submarine that's right.
That's exactly it.
You're up, murr.
can we just review what you Have eaten today? Because they don't even know That that's like the hundredth Thing you've eaten.
So, today, a breakfast sandwich.
I had breakfast at home, too, before we came.
I had breakfast at home, too, before we came.
you had breakfast at home, Before we came.
you had breakfast at home, then a breakfast sandwich, then you had breakfast at home, then a breakfast sandwich, then two slices of pizza, then a bowl Then a breakfast sandwich, then two slices of pizza, then a bowl of macaroni and cheese, a full Two slices of pizza, then a bowl of macaroni and cheese, a full sandwich, a pickle, and an Of macaroni and cheese, a full sandwich, a pickle, and an apple, now you're eating that.
Sandwich, a pickle, and an apple, now you're eating that.
yeah.
What's your point? Apple, now you're eating that.
yeah.
What's your point? you're, like, rail-thin for yeah.
What's your point? you're, like, rail-thin for what you eat.
you're, like, rail-thin for what you eat.
[ laughter .]
What you eat.
[ laughter .]
you are.
[ laughter .]
you are.
you're like the kate moss of You are.
you're like the kate moss of fat [bleep.]
you're like the kate moss of fat [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
Fat [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
okay, here we go.
[ laughter .]
okay, here we go.
okay.
okay, here we go.
okay.
I got this one figured out.
okay.
I got this one figured out.
I have the foolproof idea.
I got this one figured out.
I have the foolproof idea.
People like to help others in I have the foolproof idea.
People like to help others in need.
People like to help others in need.
So I'm going to be in need, and Need.
So I'm going to be in need, and people will help me and hold my So I'm going to be in need, and people will help me and hold my hand.
People will help me and hold my hand.
okay.
Hand.
okay.
uh.
okay.
uh.
[ laughter .]
uh.
[ laughter .]
are you sure you haven't done [ laughter .]
are you sure you haven't done this before? are you sure you haven't done this before? uh.
This before? uh.
I feel like you've done this uh.
I feel like you've done this before.
I feel like you've done this before.
not even on the show.
Before.
not even on the show.
You mean in life? not even on the show.
You mean in life? yeah, I just mean in life.
You mean in life? yeah, I just mean in life.
just give me a hand real yeah, I just mean in life.
just give me a hand real quick? just give me a hand real quick? Thank you so much.
Quick? Thank you so much.
Here, thank you, thank you, Thank you so much.
Here, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Here, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I was walking this way and I Thank you.
I was walking this way and I hurt my -- [ laughter .]
not a hand, not a hand.
can I borrow your hand? Here we go.
can I borrow your hand? Here we go.
[ laughing .]
Here we go.
[ laughing .]
he can't fight back! [ laughing .]
he can't fight back! [ laughter .]
He can't fight back! [ laughter .]
let's do it.
Let's do it.
[ laughter .]
let's do it.
Let's do it.
aah! let's do it.
Let's do it.
aah! he's yelling.
aah! he's yelling.
The guy is yelling.
he's yelling.
The guy is yelling.
we're doing this together, The guy is yelling.
we're doing this together, man.
we're doing this together, man.
We're in this together.
Man.
We're in this together.
Go free! Go free! We're in this together.
Go free! Go free! good job, murr.
Go free! Go free! good job, murr.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna show you some Skills here, boys.
you gonna get sexy? yeah.
oh! oh! I'm gonna turn up the charm, And I'm gonna hold a lady's hand Unprotested.
I haven't seen that since high school.
[ laughs .]
High school.
[ laughs .]
hello.
[ laughs .]
hello.
[ laughter .]
Hello.
[ laughter .]
that's not happening.
holding hands.
No.
Okay.
[ laughter .]
Hold hands? Okay.
[ laughs .]
0 for 2.
[ laughing .]
all right, next time I'm just committing to it.
I'm grabbing a hand.
Committing to it.
I'm grabbing a hand.
and here comes the mace.
I'm grabbing a hand.
and here comes the mace.
[ whistles .]
and here comes the mace.
[ whistles .]
hey.
What's up? there he goes.
[ laughing .]
eh, to the end? [ laughter .]
Appreciate it.
You have a nice swing going.
[ ding! .]
You have a nice swing going.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
nicely done.
oh.
Uh, guys.
Bad news.
what's the matter? You okay? I'm lost in the city.
you're lost? I'm lost in the city.
you're lost? [ stammers .]
you're lost? [ stammers .]
[ foreign accent .]
I not from [ stammers .]
[ foreign accent .]
I not from 'round here.
[ foreign accent .]
I not from 'round here.
okay.
'round here.
okay.
What land do you come from? okay.
What land do you come from? oh, far, far away.
What land do you come from? oh, far, far away.
[ laughs .]
oh, far, far away.
[ laughs .]
very far away.
[ laughs .]
very far away.
[ laughter .]
very far away.
[ laughter .]
pardon.
Post -- post office? Ah.
Grazie.
does he have it? Ah! That was it.
The kiss was too much.
Ah! That was it.
The kiss was too much.
the kiss is too much with The kiss was too much.
the kiss is too much with the -- from my land, we kiss.
the kiss is too much with the -- from my land, we kiss.
[ laughs .]
The -- from my land, we kiss.
[ laughs .]
why would you kiss her? [ laughs .]
why would you kiss her? what happened? why would you kiss her? what happened? [ normal voice .]
I felt a what happened? [ normal voice .]
I felt a moment.
[ normal voice .]
I felt a moment.
I was in the moment.
Moment.
I was in the moment.
what moment? I was in the moment.
what moment? you idiot! what moment? you idiot! You almost had it.
[ hums .]
[ foreign accent .]
where are You going? Where are you going? In my land My land, we hold -- we hold from My land.
We hold hands in my land! We hold hands in my land! You hold my hand! You hold my hand from my land! Hold my hand! Hold my hand! Hold my hand! Don't say no! Hold my hand! Hold my hand! [ normal voice .]
no, he wouldn't do it.
[ laughter .]
Do it.
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
excuse me.
I'm not gonna [bleep.]
around Anymore.
You want to just hold hands and Walk for a little bit? [ laughter .]
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
We'll all be dead one day and It's gonna just be me and you With this beautiful memory.
It's only weird if we make it weird.
q, at this point, it's Weird.
q, at this point, it's harassment.
q, at this point, it's harassment.
[ laughs .]
Harassment.
[ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
shhh.
[ laughs .]
what is the guy doing? [ laughs .]
what is the guy doing? this guy has to have places what is the guy doing? this guy has to have places to go.
this guy has to have places to go.
ah.
No words exchanged.
To go.
ah.
No words exchanged.
ah.
No words exchanged.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
all right, we get it.
[ laughs .]
all right, we get it.
You did it.
all right, we get it.
You did it.
[ laughter .]
You did it.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
narrator: The only thing [ ding! .]
narrator: The only thing handed to joe was a loss.
narrator: The only thing handed to joe was a loss.
today we're at Handed to joe was a loss.
today we're at langdon florist playing a game today we're at langdon florist playing a game we like to call Langdon florist playing a game we like to call all: "stump the joker!" We like to call all: "stump the joker!" while helping customers, all: "stump the joker!" while helping customers, we're gonna be going while helping customers, we're gonna be going head-to-head.
We're gonna be going head-to-head.
one of us will be trying to Head-to-head.
one of us will be trying to stump the other by making up one of us will be trying to stump the other by making up ridiculous facts about his life.
if you can't go with the flow And back up with the story, you Lose.
I love you guys so much.
narrator: It's q and sal in a Joker vs.
Joker challenge.
[ door opens .]
here we go.
Q's got to try to trip up sal With the details.
hi.
How are you today? Oh, terrific.
Do you want to give us any Direction or do you want us to Just kind of go for it? yeah, you don't want to give direction anyway.
He's really bad at taking Direction anyway.
He's really bad at taking directions.
He's really bad at taking directions.
I'm horrible with directions Directions.
I'm horrible with directions because I have a bad short-term I'm horrible with directions because I have a bad short-term memory, and I hate myself for Because I have a bad short-term memory, and I hate myself for it.
Memory, and I hate myself for it.
speaking of people you It.
speaking of people you hate speaking of people you hate [ laughter .]
Hate [ laughter .]
oh, what's he got planned? [ laughter .]
oh, what's he got planned? yeah.
oh, what's he got planned? yeah.
I hate certain people.
yeah.
I hate certain people.
I hate -- I hate, uh I hate certain people.
I hate -- I hate, uh I hate the guy who, uh, killed I hate -- I hate, uh I hate the guy who, uh, killed my uncle.
I hate the guy who, uh, killed my uncle.
[ laughter .]
My uncle.
[ laughter .]
th-the guy who killed your [ laughter .]
th-the guy who killed your uncle? th-the guy who killed your uncle? yeah.
Uncle? yeah.
Can't stand him.
yeah.
Can't stand him.
you mean your father? Can't stand him.
you mean your father? yeah.
My father killed my you mean your father? yeah.
My father killed my uncle.
yeah.
My father killed my uncle.
[ laughter .]
Uncle.
[ laughter .]
your father killed his own [ laughter .]
your father killed his own brother? your father killed his own brother? and I-I-I hate my dad for Brother? and I-I-I hate my dad for doing that.
and I-I-I hate my dad for doing that.
I don't hate him as a person.
Doing that.
I don't hate him as a person.
He did what he had to do in the I don't hate him as a person.
He did what he had to do in the moment.
He did what he had to do in the moment.
well, what was the moment? Moment.
well, what was the moment? oh, my goodness.
well, what was the moment? oh, my goodness.
well, they were window oh, my goodness.
well, they were window washers, and something came well, they were window washers, and something came loose, and my father had to Washers, and something came loose, and my father had to choose to either save himself or Loose, and my father had to choose to either save himself or let my uncle ted go -- you know, Choose to either save himself or let my uncle ted go -- you know, let go of him.
Let my uncle ted go -- you know, let go of him.
I mean, all the news reports, Let go of him.
I mean, all the news reports, they had open windows that I mean, all the news reports, they had open windows that [ laughter .]
They had open windows that [ laughter .]
oh-ho! [ laughter .]
oh-ho! you know what? oh-ho! you know what? None of us were there.
you know what? None of us were there.
I'm not gonna judge.
None of us were there.
I'm not gonna judge.
well, you were there.
I'm not gonna judge.
well, you were there.
You were in the window handing well, you were there.
You were in the window handing them brushes and stuff like You were in the window handing them brushes and stuff like that.
Them brushes and stuff like that.
ohhhh! That.
ohhhh! [ laughter .]
ohhhh! [ laughter .]
where'd they bury him again? [ laughter .]
where'd they bury him again? saint where'd they bury him again? saint [ laughter .]
That's it.
and there's a cemetery right there, eh? and there's a cemetery right there, eh? yeah.
There, eh? yeah.
story checks out.
yeah.
story checks out.
[ laughter .]
story checks out.
[ laughter .]
saved by the guy.
[ laughter .]
saved by the guy.
have a great day.
saved by the guy.
have a great day.
and out the door walks sal's have a great day.
and out the door walks sal's win and q's loss.
and out the door walks sal's win and q's loss.
[ imitates gunshots .]
Win and q's loss.
[ imitates gunshots .]
[ buzzer, ding! .]
[ imitates gunshots .]
[ buzzer, ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer, ding! .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: Q couldn't stump [ laughter .]
narrator: Q couldn't stump sal, making him tonight's big narrator: Q couldn't stump sal, making him tonight's big loser.
Sal, making him tonight's big loser.
all right, q's our big loser, Loser.
all right, q's our big loser, and it's time for his all right, q's our big loser, and it's time for his punishment.
And it's time for his punishment.
so we came to the Punishment.
so we came to the liberty science center.
so we came to the liberty science center.
Such a great place.
Liberty science center.
Such a great place.
You can learn about science, the Such a great place.
You can learn about science, the earth.
You can learn about science, the earth.
you can throw a children's Earth.
you can throw a children's birthday party.
you can throw a children's birthday party.
ahhhha! Birthday party.
ahhhha! q, today, for your ahhhha! q, today, for your punishment, you are the party q, today, for your punishment, you are the party clown at a child's birthday Punishment, you are the party clown at a child's birthday party.
Clown at a child's birthday party.
You'll have to do and say Party.
You'll have to do and say whatever the hell we tell you.
You'll have to do and say whatever the hell we tell you.
oh, come on.
Whatever the hell we tell you.
oh, come on.
you know how people are oh, come on.
you know how people are afraid of clowns and nightmares? you know how people are afraid of clowns and nightmares? yeah.
Afraid of clowns and nightmares? yeah.
that's because of days like yeah.
that's because of days like today.
that's because of days like today.
[ laughter .]
Today.
[ laughter .]
[ up-tempo music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ up-tempo music plays .]
this is the moment kids live [ up-tempo music plays .]
this is the moment kids live for.
this is the moment kids live for.
You remember this birthday For.
You remember this birthday party, when you have a birthday You remember this birthday party, when you have a birthday party where you rent some place Party, when you have a birthday party where you rent some place out and there's a clown.
Party where you rent some place out and there's a clown.
q doesn't know that the Out and there's a clown.
q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child said it was okay, so they know, Parent of the birthday child said it was okay, so they know, but nobody else in the room Said it was okay, so they know, but nobody else in the room does.
But nobody else in the room does.
none of the other parents, Does.
none of the other parents, none of the other kids know none of the other parents, none of the other kids know what's about to happen.
None of the other kids know what's about to happen.
come on out, q.
What's about to happen.
come on out, q.
[ laughs .]
come on out, q.
[ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! Here he is! oh! Here he is! [ screaming .]
Here he is! [ screaming .]
[ laughter .]
[ screaming .]
[ laughter .]
he looks crazy! [ laughter .]
he looks crazy! Look at his beard! he looks crazy! Look at his beard! His beard! Look at his beard! His beard! how are ya? His beard! how are ya? you want to do a big how are ya? you want to do a big entrance, buddy, so do, like, a you want to do a big entrance, buddy, so do, like, a somersault and jump on the Entrance, buddy, so do, like, a somersault and jump on the trampoline.
Somersault and jump on the trampoline.
[ grunts .]
Trampoline.
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
you fat bastard! [ laughter .]
you fat bastard! You broke the trampoline! you fat bastard! You broke the trampoline! uh, I should've saw that one You broke the trampoline! uh, I should've saw that one coming.
uh, I should've saw that one coming.
[ laughing .]
oh, hey.
How are Coming.
[ laughing .]
oh, hey.
How are you doing, everybody? [ laughing .]
oh, hey.
How are you doing, everybody? "I'm smush the clown.
" You doing, everybody? "I'm smush the clown.
" I'm smush the clown.
"I'm smush the clown.
" I'm smush the clown.
How's everybody doing? I'm smush the clown.
How's everybody doing? [ laughing .]
look at her How's everybody doing? [ laughing .]
look at her face! [ laughing .]
look at her face! q, grab a hula-hoop and show Face! q, grab a hula-hoop and show them how you hula.
q, grab a hula-hoop and show them how you hula.
all right.
Them how you hula.
all right.
Who knows how to hula-hoop? all right.
Who knows how to hula-hoop? me! Who knows how to hula-hoop? me! oh, let smush the clown show me! oh, let smush the clown show you how it's done.
oh, let smush the clown show you how it's done.
All right, here we go.
I'm not gonna do it right? they're on to him already.
here we go! they're on to him already.
here we go! [ up-tempo music plays .]
here we go! [ up-tempo music plays .]
smush the clown! [ up-tempo music plays .]
smush the clown! [ laughter .]
Smush the clown! [ laughter .]
[ music stops .]
[ laughter .]
[ music stops .]
[ laughing .]
what is he [ music stops .]
[ laughing .]
what is he doing? [ laughing .]
what is he doing? [ music resumes .]
Doing? [ music resumes .]
all right! There we go.
[ music resumes .]
all right! There we go.
[ music stops .]
all right! There we go.
[ music stops .]
what? You don't like it? [ music stops .]
what? You don't like it? No? What? You don't like it? No? oh, my god! No? oh, my god! in the box, there's a thing oh, my god! in the box, there's a thing of prescription of pills.
in the box, there's a thing of prescription of pills.
Just take one and pop it.
Of prescription of pills.
Just take one and pop it.
[ laughter .]
all right.
q, ask for a volunteer right all right.
q, ask for a volunteer right now.
q, ask for a volunteer right now.
I need a volunteer.
Now.
I need a volunteer.
Who wants to volunteer? I need a volunteer.
Who wants to volunteer? Wow! Anybody? Who wants to volunteer? Wow! Anybody? All right, all right, all right.
Wow! Anybody? All right, all right, all right.
You, young lady, come on in.
All right, all right, all right.
You, young lady, come on in.
[ laughter .]
You, young lady, come on in.
[ laughter .]
it's time for a magic trick.
[ laughter .]
it's time for a magic trick.
yay! it's time for a magic trick.
yay! q, grab the box from the back yay! q, grab the box from the back there.
q, grab the box from the back there.
Okay.
There.
Okay.
I'm gonna show you a magic Okay.
I'm gonna show you a magic trick.
I'm gonna show you a magic trick.
All right.
Trick.
All right.
Oh, this is horrible.
All right.
Oh, this is horrible.
now, q, go into the toy chest Oh, this is horrible.
now, q, go into the toy chest and wrap her up in chains and now, q, go into the toy chest and wrap her up in chains and rope and duct tape.
And wrap her up in chains and rope and duct tape.
oh, god.
Rope and duct tape.
oh, god.
[ laughing .]
oh, god.
[ laughing .]
okay, are you ready for this? [ laughing .]
okay, are you ready for this? [ laughter .]
okay, are you ready for this? [ laughter .]
put your hands out.
[ laughter .]
put your hands out.
All right.
Yeah.
Put your hands out.
All right.
Yeah.
[ laughing .]
we're wrapping All right.
Yeah.
[ laughing .]
we're wrapping up children in duct tape.
[ laughing .]
we're wrapping up children in duct tape.
all right.
Up children in duct tape.
all right.
all right.
Yay! 2! Yay! 2! It's a magic trick! [ laughs .]
here we go.
[ screaming .]
yay! I'm gonna make all these chains yay! I'm gonna make all these chains disappear off her.
I'm gonna make all these chains disappear off her.
put the box over her head.
Disappear off her.
put the box over her head.
When she comes out of the box, put the box over her head.
When she comes out of the box, she'll be free.
When she comes out of the box, she'll be free.
all right.
She'll be free.
all right.
When she comes out of the box, all right.
When she comes out of the box, she's gonna be free.
When she comes out of the box, she's gonna be free.
Abracadabra! She's gonna be free.
Abracadabra! Ta-da! Abracadabra! Ta-da! [ laughter .]
Oh! Who just threw an egg at me? [ laughter .]
Who just threw an egg at me? [ laughter .]
we gave one kid one egg and [ laughter .]
we gave one kid one egg and said, "throw it whenever you we gave one kid one egg and said, "throw it whenever you want.
" Said, "throw it whenever you want.
" thanks a lot, kid.
Want.
" thanks a lot, kid.
[ laughter .]
thanks a lot, kid.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
Where's the birthday girl? All right.
Where's the birthday girl? Come here, birthday girl! Where's the birthday girl? Come here, birthday girl! q, you're gonna present her Come here, birthday girl! q, you're gonna present her cake to her.
q, you're gonna present her cake to her.
oh, boy.
Cake to her.
oh, boy.
Look at this beautiful cake.
oh, boy.
Look at this beautiful cake.
Please don't tell me Look at this beautiful cake.
Please don't tell me [ laughter .]
Please don't tell me [ laughter .]
q doesn't know that the [ laughter .]
q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child and q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child and the girl herself are in on the Parent of the birthday child and the girl herself are in on the joke.
The girl herself are in on the joke.
[ laughs .]
Joke.
[ laughs .]
what's my name, emily? [ laughs .]
what's my name, emily? smush.
what's my name, emily? smush.
"and why do they call me smush.
"and why do they call me smush?" "and why do they call me smush?" why do they call me smush? Smush?" why do they call me smush? go ahead.
why do they call me smush? go ahead.
Slowly smush and ruin that cake.
go ahead.
Slowly smush and ruin that cake.
Just lean on the cake.
Slowly smush and ruin that cake.
Just lean on the cake.
[ laughs .]
Just lean on the cake.
[ laughs .]
because I smush things! [ laughs .]
because I smush things! no! because I smush things! no! [ laughter .]
push, push.
[ children shouting .]
they're screaming at him.
[ children shouting .]
they're screaming at him.
It's a revolution! they're screaming at him.
It's a revolution! oh, god.
It's a revolution! oh, god.
"don't worry.
oh, god.
"don't worry.
Now you get to get your revenge "don't worry.
Now you get to get your revenge on smush.
" Now you get to get your revenge on smush.
" now you get to get your On smush.
" now you get to get your revenge on smush.
now you get to get your revenge on smush.
she takes that whole cake and Revenge on smush.
she takes that whole cake and just smushes it right in your she takes that whole cake and just smushes it right in your face.
Just smushes it right in your face.
you want to -- Face.
you want to -- [ sighs .]
you want to -- [ sighs .]
you want to smush this cake in [ sighs .]
you want to smush this cake in my face? You want to smush this cake in my face? Come on, kiddo.
My face? Come on, kiddo.
[ laughter .]
Come on, kiddo.
[ laughter .]
yes, q, you made it.
[ laughter .]
yes, q, you made it.
Way to go, smush.
ow! They're hitting me! They're hitting me! oh, my god.
They are slaughtering him.
[ laughter .]
[ laughing .]
he looks like Heath ledger as the joker.
happy birthday, emily.
[ laughter .]
that's how you do it.
no! [ laughter .]
narrator: Why is murr [ laughter .]
narrator: Why is murr spinning his wheels? narrator: Why is murr spinning his wheels? we're doing this together, Spinning his wheels? we're doing this together, man.
we're doing this together, man.
We're in this together.
Man.
We're in this together.
[ laughter .]
We're in this together.
[ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker [ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker will fall flat in tonight's big narrator: And which joker will fall flat in tonight's big punishment? Will fall flat in tonight's big punishment? [ children screaming .]
Punishment? [ children screaming .]
prepare for something [ children screaming .]
prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today we're teaming up as security consultants, presenting new technologies and innovations Security consultants, presenting new technologies and innovations in the field of security.
New technologies and innovations in the field of security.
unfortunately, the ridiculous In the field of security.
unfortunately, the ridiculous presentation has been written by unfortunately, the ridiculous presentation has been written by the other team.
Presentation has been written by the other team.
at the end, we'll ask the The other team.
at the end, we'll ask the group to raise their hands if at the end, we'll ask the group to raise their hands if they've learned anything of Group to raise their hands if they've learned anything of value.
whichever team gets the Fewest hands raised at the end, Uh, will lose.
that's how it works.
it will lose, yes.
That team will lose.
you and I are good at this Kind of stuff.
this is a home run.
hey.
How's it going? Welcome.
My name's james murray.
I'm joe gatto.
and we run a security Solutions company.
yep.
meet the team.
I'm james murray.
I was born in savannah.
I'm james murray.
I was born in savannah.
Yes, I'm a southern boy at I was born in savannah.
Yes, I'm a southern boy at heart.
Yes, I'm a southern boy at heart.
I moved up to new york a few Heart.
I moved up to new york a few years back, and we started our I moved up to new york a few years back, and we started our company.
Years back, and we started our company.
mm-hmm.
Company.
mm-hmm.
uh mm-hmm.
uh [ chuckles .]
uh [ chuckles .]
[ southern accent .]
your [ chuckles .]
[ southern accent .]
your securr'ity is my number-one [ southern accent .]
your securr'ity is my number-one priority.
Securr'ity is my number-one priority.
securr'ity.
Priority.
securr'ity.
[ normal voice .]
sometimes securr'ity.
[ normal voice .]
sometimes the south slips in.
[ normal voice .]
sometimes the south slips in.
A little more about us and what The south slips in.
A little more about us and what we do.
A little more about us and what we do.
We do.
assistance.
assistance.
[ laughs .]
Assistance.
[ laughs .]
so, sure, with other [ laughs .]
so, sure, with other companies, you'll have a faster so, sure, with other companies, you'll have a faster response, but most of the time Companies, you'll have a faster response, but most of the time you won't need it.
Response, but most of the time you won't need it.
What we do is a delayed You won't need it.
What we do is a delayed assistance, so we'll wait to What we do is a delayed assistance, so we'll wait to make sure that you're really in Assistance, so we'll wait to make sure that you're really in danger.
Make sure that you're really in danger.
[ laughter .]
Danger.
[ laughter .]
how is any delay good in [ laughter .]
how is any delay good in personal security? how is any delay good in personal security? right.
Personal security? right.
40% of the company has been right.
40% of the company has been in or around a jail.
40% of the company has been in or around a jail.
[ laughter .]
In or around a jail.
[ laughter .]
we go in and we get people [ laughter .]
we go in and we get people that have done the deed.
we go in and we get people that have done the deed.
I mean, who are you gonna trust That have done the deed.
I mean, who are you gonna trust around a house? I mean, who are you gonna trust around a house? Reformed criminals.
Around a house? Reformed criminals.
[ laughter .]
Reformed criminals.
[ laughter .]
we've actually made a few [ laughter .]
we've actually made a few innovations in the home-security we've actually made a few innovations in the home-security market.
Innovations in the home-security market.
So, these are products that we Market.
So, these are products that we actually sell to homeowners.
So, these are products that we actually sell to homeowners.
The best place to hide a safe? Actually sell to homeowners.
The best place to hide a safe? People always wonder, "where in The best place to hide a safe? People always wonder, "where in my house do I hide it?" People always wonder, "where in my house do I hide it?" can you spot the safe in this My house do I hide it?" can you spot the safe in this photo? under the bed.
no, no, no, no.
Not at our company because the Safe in this photo safe dogz.
safe dogz.
[ laughter .]
from the window, they look Like real dogs, right? and they are real dogs.
they're real dogs.
[ laughter .]
You feed them these digestible pouches.
It gets sorted inside them and Pouches.
It gets sorted inside them and [chuckling.]
keeps your valuables It gets sorted inside them and [chuckling.]
keeps your valuables safe at all times.
[chuckling.]
keeps your valuables safe at all times.
yeah, but the problem is Safe at all times.
yeah, but the problem is every three days you have to yeah, but the problem is every three days you have to restock your safes.
Every three days you have to restock your safes.
he's keeping himself awake.
Restock your safes.
he's keeping himself awake.
[ laughing .]
look at his face.
he's keeping himself awake.
[ laughing .]
look at his face.
another option we offer at [ laughing .]
look at his face.
another option we offer at jameseph security another option we offer at jameseph security mm-hmm.
Jameseph security mm-hmm.
Is a 24/7 live-cam mm-hmm.
Is a 24/7 live-cam bathroom feed.
Is a 24/7 live-cam bathroom feed.
[ laughter .]
Bathroom feed.
[ laughter .]
for instance, this is live right [ laughter .]
for instance, this is live right now.
For instance, this is live right now.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
no crime has happened, right? that's a lot.
no crime has happened, right? that's a lot.
[ laughter .]
that's a lot.
[ laughter .]
this is raising a few alarms.
[ laughter .]
this is raising a few alarms.
Why is he using so much paper? this is raising a few alarms.
Why is he using so much paper? why so much paper? Why is he using so much paper? why so much paper? [ laughter .]
why so much paper? [ laughter .]
he's gone through a whole [ laughter .]
he's gone through a whole spool.
he's gone through a whole spool.
Now he's wrapping it on his Spool.
Now he's wrapping it on his hand.
Now he's wrapping it on his hand.
Something is not right.
Hand.
Something is not right.
That would've raised red flags.
Something is not right.
That would've raised red flags.
The computer would've flagged That would've raised red flags.
The computer would've flagged that.
The computer would've flagged that.
yeah.
That.
yeah.
now, I hope he's going to yeah.
now, I hope he's going to Okay.
now, I hope he's going to Okay.
The computer would've identified Okay.
The computer would've identified that, too.
The computer would've identified that, too.
a problem, yeah.
That, too.
a problem, yeah.
[ laughter .]
a problem, yeah.
[ laughter .]
thank you, guys.
[ laughter .]
thank you, guys.
by show of hands, how many of Thank you, guys.
by show of hands, how many of you feel that you've learned a by show of hands, how many of you feel that you've learned a fair amount about securr'ity You feel that you've learned a fair amount about securr'ity today? Fair amount about securr'ity today? so, one, two, three, four.
Today? so, one, two, three, four.
Okay.
There you go.
so, one, two, three, four.
Okay.
There you go.
come on! Okay.
There you go.
come on! good.
come on! good.
they just watched a dude take good.
they just watched a dude take a [bleep.]
for two minutes! they just watched a dude take a [bleep.]
for two minutes! don't be scurred.
A [bleep.]
for two minutes! don't be scurred.
Be securred.
don't be scurred.
Be securred.
[ ding! .]
Be securred.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
is that? Oh, that's clearly something.
I mean, why -- that's clearly Something.
don't worry about what's under the sheet.
don't tell me not to worry Under the sheet.
don't tell me not to worry about what's under the sheets.
don't tell me not to worry about what's under the sheets.
[ laughs .]
About what's under the sheets.
[ laughs .]
here we go.
[ laughs .]
here we go.
hey, everybody.
Here we go.
hey, everybody.
how's it going, guys? hey, everybody.
how's it going, guys? how are you doing? how's it going, guys? how are you doing? My name is sal vulcano.
how are you doing? My name is sal vulcano.
I'm brian quinn.
My name is sal vulcano.
I'm brian quinn.
together we own a security I'm brian quinn.
together we own a security solutions company.
together we own a security solutions company.
Okay, so, let's go on.
Solutions company.
Okay, so, let's go on.
Hiring personal security is an Okay, so, let's go on.
Hiring personal security is an option.
Hiring personal security is an option.
it's a great option.
Option.
it's a great option.
a dedicated, like, personnel it's a great option.
a dedicated, like, personnel is what we provide.
a dedicated, like, personnel is what we provide.
it's an option.
Is what we provide.
it's an option.
meet brock.
it's an option.
meet brock.
We take turns hiring brock each meet brock.
We take turns hiring brock each night to personally protect us.
We take turns hiring brock each night to personally protect us.
really? Night to personally protect us.
really? look at those arms.
really? look at those arms.
Are you gonna mess with that look at those arms.
Are you gonna mess with that guy? Are you gonna mess with that guy? No.
Guy? No.
[ laughter .]
[ laughing .]
that's brock.
brock also has a soothing Voice, and, hey, so now you're Not just getting personal Security.
You're getting a sweet bedtime Story.
baby, don't go to sleep unless you got to go to sleep for awhile unless you got to go to sleep for awhile rock-a-bye, baby-bye For awhile rock-a-bye, baby-bye go to sleep now or die rock-a-bye, baby-bye go to sleep now or die that's -- that's brock.
go to sleep now or die that's -- that's brock.
[ laughter .]
that's -- that's brock.
[ laughter .]
we'll do some role-playing.
[ laughter .]
we'll do some role-playing.
And we'll show you how people's we'll do some role-playing.
And we'll show you how people's first instincts aren't always And we'll show you how people's first instincts aren't always the right ones.
First instincts aren't always the right ones.
I'll be the homeowner.
The right ones.
I'll be the homeowner.
and I'll be the burglar I'll be the homeowner.
and I'll be the burglar pretending to be a pizza and I'll be the burglar pretending to be a pizza delivery guy.
Pretending to be a pizza delivery guy.
[ seductive music playing .]
Delivery guy.
[ seductive music playing .]
[ laughter .]
[ seductive music playing .]
[ laughter .]
start role-playing.
[ laughter .]
start role-playing.
so, I'm doing dishes.
start role-playing.
so, I'm doing dishes.
ding, dong.
so, I'm doing dishes.
ding, dong.
oh, that must be the pizza I ding, dong.
oh, that must be the pizza I ordered.
oh, that must be the pizza I ordered.
[ laughter .]
Ordered.
[ laughter .]
what do I owe you? [ laughter .]
what do I owe you? is there anybody home? What do I owe you? is there anybody home? I mean, I ordered the pizza is there anybody home? I mean, I ordered the pizza for myself.
I mean, I ordered the pizza for myself.
[ laughs .]
For myself.
[ laughs .]
so, you're confirming that [ laughs .]
so, you're confirming that you're home by yourself.
so, you're confirming that you're home by yourself.
that's correct.
You're home by yourself.
that's correct.
No! that's correct.
No! [ laughter .]
No! [ laughter .]
the pizza.
[ laughter .]
the pizza.
[ laughter .]
The pizza.
[ laughter .]
okay, so, innovative [ laughter .]
okay, so, innovative home-security products that we Okay, so, innovative home-security products that we have brought to market.
Home-security products that we have brought to market.
[ gong crashes .]
Have brought to market.
[ gong crashes .]
this is exciting, guys.
[ gong crashes .]
this is exciting, guys.
[ laughter .]
This is exciting, guys.
[ laughter .]
it's tomfoolery.
[ laughter .]
it's tomfoolery.
It's trickery, right? It's tomfoolery.
It's trickery, right? See, he's like, "I don't know.
" [ gong crashes .]
[ laughter .]
like, a ninja lives here.
"could be a dojo.
" [ laughs .]
uh, a big-ass boulder.
[ laughs .]
uh, a big-ass boulder.
[ laughter .]
uh, a big-ass boulder.
[ laughter .]
let's see how it works.
[ laughter .]
let's see how it works.
[ laughter .]
Let's see how it works.
[ laughter .]
turn around, guys.
[ laughter .]
turn around, guys.
What's under the sheet? turn around, guys.
What's under the sheet? [ laughter .]
What's under the sheet? [ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
[ laughter .]
[ chuckles .]
so, I'll be the burglar breaking [ chuckles .]
so, I'll be the burglar breaking in.
So, I'll be the burglar breaking in.
So, I'm like, "oh, yeah, I've In.
So, I'm like, "oh, yeah, I've been scoping out this house.
" So, I'm like, "oh, yeah, I've been scoping out this house.
" [ dramatic music plays .]
Been scoping out this house.
" [ dramatic music plays .]
uh-oh.
Who's that? [ dramatic music plays .]
uh-oh.
Who's that? oh, I see some diamonds I'm uh-oh.
Who's that? oh, I see some diamonds I'm gonna steal.
oh, I see some diamonds I'm gonna steal.
Creak! Gonna steal.
Creak! Creak! Creak! Creak! that's a telltale sign.
Creak! that's a telltale sign.
[ laughter .]
that's a telltale sign.
[ laughter .]
I push the button.
[ laughter .]
I push the button.
[ grunts .]
I push the button.
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
aah! [ laughs .]
aah! [ laughter .]
aah! [ laughter .]
wh-- who's speaking chinese?! [ laughter .]
wh-- who's speaking chinese?! [ laughter .]
Wh-- who's speaking chinese?! [ laughter .]
I don't even deal with this.
[ laughter .]
I don't even deal with this.
We have a cleanup service.
I don't even deal with this.
We have a cleanup service.
[ laughter .]
We have a cleanup service.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
all right.
All right.
all right.
thanks.
all right.
thanks.
if you could -- if you feel thanks.
if you could -- if you feel you've learned anything of if you could -- if you feel you've learned anything of value, could you please just You've learned anything of value, could you please just raise your hand, show of hands? Value, could you please just raise your hand, show of hands? one, two, three.
Raise your hand, show of hands? one, two, three.
three.
Okay.
one, two, three.
three.
Okay.
We appreciate your time, guys.
three.
Okay.
We appreciate your time, guys.
[ buzzer .]
We appreciate your time, guys.
[ buzzer .]
aah! [ buzzer .]
aah! not enough.
aah! not enough.
narrator: Sal and q couldn't not enough.
narrator: Sal and q couldn't secure a win, so they're first narrator: Sal and q couldn't secure a win, so they're first up on the loser board.
what a beautiful day to make New friends.
so, we have to try and Convince strangers to hold our Hand.
if you can't get a stranger To hold your hand, you lose.
like the beatles said I want to live in a yellow Submarine that's right.
That's exactly it.
You're up, murr.
can we just review what you Have eaten today? Because they don't even know That that's like the hundredth Thing you've eaten.
So, today, a breakfast sandwich.
I had breakfast at home, too, before we came.
I had breakfast at home, too, before we came.
you had breakfast at home, Before we came.
you had breakfast at home, then a breakfast sandwich, then you had breakfast at home, then a breakfast sandwich, then two slices of pizza, then a bowl Then a breakfast sandwich, then two slices of pizza, then a bowl of macaroni and cheese, a full Two slices of pizza, then a bowl of macaroni and cheese, a full sandwich, a pickle, and an Of macaroni and cheese, a full sandwich, a pickle, and an apple, now you're eating that.
Sandwich, a pickle, and an apple, now you're eating that.
yeah.
What's your point? Apple, now you're eating that.
yeah.
What's your point? you're, like, rail-thin for yeah.
What's your point? you're, like, rail-thin for what you eat.
you're, like, rail-thin for what you eat.
[ laughter .]
What you eat.
[ laughter .]
you are.
[ laughter .]
you are.
you're like the kate moss of You are.
you're like the kate moss of fat [bleep.]
you're like the kate moss of fat [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
Fat [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
okay, here we go.
[ laughter .]
okay, here we go.
okay.
okay, here we go.
okay.
I got this one figured out.
okay.
I got this one figured out.
I have the foolproof idea.
I got this one figured out.
I have the foolproof idea.
People like to help others in I have the foolproof idea.
People like to help others in need.
People like to help others in need.
So I'm going to be in need, and Need.
So I'm going to be in need, and people will help me and hold my So I'm going to be in need, and people will help me and hold my hand.
People will help me and hold my hand.
okay.
Hand.
okay.
uh.
okay.
uh.
[ laughter .]
uh.
[ laughter .]
are you sure you haven't done [ laughter .]
are you sure you haven't done this before? are you sure you haven't done this before? uh.
This before? uh.
I feel like you've done this uh.
I feel like you've done this before.
I feel like you've done this before.
not even on the show.
Before.
not even on the show.
You mean in life? not even on the show.
You mean in life? yeah, I just mean in life.
You mean in life? yeah, I just mean in life.
just give me a hand real yeah, I just mean in life.
just give me a hand real quick? just give me a hand real quick? Thank you so much.
Quick? Thank you so much.
Here, thank you, thank you, Thank you so much.
Here, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Here, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I was walking this way and I Thank you.
I was walking this way and I hurt my -- [ laughter .]
not a hand, not a hand.
can I borrow your hand? Here we go.
can I borrow your hand? Here we go.
[ laughing .]
Here we go.
[ laughing .]
he can't fight back! [ laughing .]
he can't fight back! [ laughter .]
He can't fight back! [ laughter .]
let's do it.
Let's do it.
[ laughter .]
let's do it.
Let's do it.
aah! let's do it.
Let's do it.
aah! he's yelling.
aah! he's yelling.
The guy is yelling.
he's yelling.
The guy is yelling.
we're doing this together, The guy is yelling.
we're doing this together, man.
we're doing this together, man.
We're in this together.
Man.
We're in this together.
Go free! Go free! We're in this together.
Go free! Go free! good job, murr.
Go free! Go free! good job, murr.
[ laughter .]
I'm gonna show you some Skills here, boys.
you gonna get sexy? yeah.
oh! oh! I'm gonna turn up the charm, And I'm gonna hold a lady's hand Unprotested.
I haven't seen that since high school.
[ laughs .]
High school.
[ laughs .]
hello.
[ laughs .]
hello.
[ laughter .]
Hello.
[ laughter .]
that's not happening.
holding hands.
No.
Okay.
[ laughter .]
Hold hands? Okay.
[ laughs .]
0 for 2.
[ laughing .]
all right, next time I'm just committing to it.
I'm grabbing a hand.
Committing to it.
I'm grabbing a hand.
and here comes the mace.
I'm grabbing a hand.
and here comes the mace.
[ whistles .]
and here comes the mace.
[ whistles .]
hey.
What's up? there he goes.
[ laughing .]
eh, to the end? [ laughter .]
Appreciate it.
You have a nice swing going.
[ ding! .]
You have a nice swing going.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
nicely done.
oh.
Uh, guys.
Bad news.
what's the matter? You okay? I'm lost in the city.
you're lost? I'm lost in the city.
you're lost? [ stammers .]
you're lost? [ stammers .]
[ foreign accent .]
I not from [ stammers .]
[ foreign accent .]
I not from 'round here.
[ foreign accent .]
I not from 'round here.
okay.
'round here.
okay.
What land do you come from? okay.
What land do you come from? oh, far, far away.
What land do you come from? oh, far, far away.
[ laughs .]
oh, far, far away.
[ laughs .]
very far away.
[ laughs .]
very far away.
[ laughter .]
very far away.
[ laughter .]
pardon.
Post -- post office? Ah.
Grazie.
does he have it? Ah! That was it.
The kiss was too much.
Ah! That was it.
The kiss was too much.
the kiss is too much with The kiss was too much.
the kiss is too much with the -- from my land, we kiss.
the kiss is too much with the -- from my land, we kiss.
[ laughs .]
The -- from my land, we kiss.
[ laughs .]
why would you kiss her? [ laughs .]
why would you kiss her? what happened? why would you kiss her? what happened? [ normal voice .]
I felt a what happened? [ normal voice .]
I felt a moment.
[ normal voice .]
I felt a moment.
I was in the moment.
Moment.
I was in the moment.
what moment? I was in the moment.
what moment? you idiot! what moment? you idiot! You almost had it.
[ hums .]
[ foreign accent .]
where are You going? Where are you going? In my land My land, we hold -- we hold from My land.
We hold hands in my land! We hold hands in my land! You hold my hand! You hold my hand from my land! Hold my hand! Hold my hand! Hold my hand! Don't say no! Hold my hand! Hold my hand! [ normal voice .]
no, he wouldn't do it.
[ laughter .]
Do it.
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
what the [bleep.]
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
excuse me.
I'm not gonna [bleep.]
around Anymore.
You want to just hold hands and Walk for a little bit? [ laughter .]
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
We'll all be dead one day and It's gonna just be me and you With this beautiful memory.
It's only weird if we make it weird.
q, at this point, it's Weird.
q, at this point, it's harassment.
q, at this point, it's harassment.
[ laughs .]
Harassment.
[ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
shhh.
[ laughs .]
what is the guy doing? [ laughs .]
what is the guy doing? this guy has to have places what is the guy doing? this guy has to have places to go.
this guy has to have places to go.
ah.
No words exchanged.
To go.
ah.
No words exchanged.
ah.
No words exchanged.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
all right, we get it.
[ laughs .]
all right, we get it.
You did it.
all right, we get it.
You did it.
[ laughter .]
You did it.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
narrator: The only thing [ ding! .]
narrator: The only thing handed to joe was a loss.
narrator: The only thing handed to joe was a loss.
today we're at Handed to joe was a loss.
today we're at langdon florist playing a game today we're at langdon florist playing a game we like to call Langdon florist playing a game we like to call all: "stump the joker!" We like to call all: "stump the joker!" while helping customers, all: "stump the joker!" while helping customers, we're gonna be going while helping customers, we're gonna be going head-to-head.
We're gonna be going head-to-head.
one of us will be trying to Head-to-head.
one of us will be trying to stump the other by making up one of us will be trying to stump the other by making up ridiculous facts about his life.
if you can't go with the flow And back up with the story, you Lose.
I love you guys so much.
narrator: It's q and sal in a Joker vs.
Joker challenge.
[ door opens .]
here we go.
Q's got to try to trip up sal With the details.
hi.
How are you today? Oh, terrific.
Do you want to give us any Direction or do you want us to Just kind of go for it? yeah, you don't want to give direction anyway.
He's really bad at taking Direction anyway.
He's really bad at taking directions.
He's really bad at taking directions.
I'm horrible with directions Directions.
I'm horrible with directions because I have a bad short-term I'm horrible with directions because I have a bad short-term memory, and I hate myself for Because I have a bad short-term memory, and I hate myself for it.
Memory, and I hate myself for it.
speaking of people you It.
speaking of people you hate speaking of people you hate [ laughter .]
Hate [ laughter .]
oh, what's he got planned? [ laughter .]
oh, what's he got planned? yeah.
oh, what's he got planned? yeah.
I hate certain people.
yeah.
I hate certain people.
I hate -- I hate, uh I hate certain people.
I hate -- I hate, uh I hate the guy who, uh, killed I hate -- I hate, uh I hate the guy who, uh, killed my uncle.
I hate the guy who, uh, killed my uncle.
[ laughter .]
My uncle.
[ laughter .]
th-the guy who killed your [ laughter .]
th-the guy who killed your uncle? th-the guy who killed your uncle? yeah.
Uncle? yeah.
Can't stand him.
yeah.
Can't stand him.
you mean your father? Can't stand him.
you mean your father? yeah.
My father killed my you mean your father? yeah.
My father killed my uncle.
yeah.
My father killed my uncle.
[ laughter .]
Uncle.
[ laughter .]
your father killed his own [ laughter .]
your father killed his own brother? your father killed his own brother? and I-I-I hate my dad for Brother? and I-I-I hate my dad for doing that.
and I-I-I hate my dad for doing that.
I don't hate him as a person.
Doing that.
I don't hate him as a person.
He did what he had to do in the I don't hate him as a person.
He did what he had to do in the moment.
He did what he had to do in the moment.
well, what was the moment? Moment.
well, what was the moment? oh, my goodness.
well, what was the moment? oh, my goodness.
well, they were window oh, my goodness.
well, they were window washers, and something came well, they were window washers, and something came loose, and my father had to Washers, and something came loose, and my father had to choose to either save himself or Loose, and my father had to choose to either save himself or let my uncle ted go -- you know, Choose to either save himself or let my uncle ted go -- you know, let go of him.
Let my uncle ted go -- you know, let go of him.
I mean, all the news reports, Let go of him.
I mean, all the news reports, they had open windows that I mean, all the news reports, they had open windows that [ laughter .]
They had open windows that [ laughter .]
oh-ho! [ laughter .]
oh-ho! you know what? oh-ho! you know what? None of us were there.
you know what? None of us were there.
I'm not gonna judge.
None of us were there.
I'm not gonna judge.
well, you were there.
I'm not gonna judge.
well, you were there.
You were in the window handing well, you were there.
You were in the window handing them brushes and stuff like You were in the window handing them brushes and stuff like that.
Them brushes and stuff like that.
ohhhh! That.
ohhhh! [ laughter .]
ohhhh! [ laughter .]
where'd they bury him again? [ laughter .]
where'd they bury him again? saint where'd they bury him again? saint [ laughter .]
That's it.
and there's a cemetery right there, eh? and there's a cemetery right there, eh? yeah.
There, eh? yeah.
story checks out.
yeah.
story checks out.
[ laughter .]
story checks out.
[ laughter .]
saved by the guy.
[ laughter .]
saved by the guy.
have a great day.
saved by the guy.
have a great day.
and out the door walks sal's have a great day.
and out the door walks sal's win and q's loss.
and out the door walks sal's win and q's loss.
[ imitates gunshots .]
Win and q's loss.
[ imitates gunshots .]
[ buzzer, ding! .]
[ imitates gunshots .]
[ buzzer, ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer, ding! .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: Q couldn't stump [ laughter .]
narrator: Q couldn't stump sal, making him tonight's big narrator: Q couldn't stump sal, making him tonight's big loser.
Sal, making him tonight's big loser.
all right, q's our big loser, Loser.
all right, q's our big loser, and it's time for his all right, q's our big loser, and it's time for his punishment.
And it's time for his punishment.
so we came to the Punishment.
so we came to the liberty science center.
so we came to the liberty science center.
Such a great place.
Liberty science center.
Such a great place.
You can learn about science, the Such a great place.
You can learn about science, the earth.
You can learn about science, the earth.
you can throw a children's Earth.
you can throw a children's birthday party.
you can throw a children's birthday party.
ahhhha! Birthday party.
ahhhha! q, today, for your ahhhha! q, today, for your punishment, you are the party q, today, for your punishment, you are the party clown at a child's birthday Punishment, you are the party clown at a child's birthday party.
Clown at a child's birthday party.
You'll have to do and say Party.
You'll have to do and say whatever the hell we tell you.
You'll have to do and say whatever the hell we tell you.
oh, come on.
Whatever the hell we tell you.
oh, come on.
you know how people are oh, come on.
you know how people are afraid of clowns and nightmares? you know how people are afraid of clowns and nightmares? yeah.
Afraid of clowns and nightmares? yeah.
that's because of days like yeah.
that's because of days like today.
that's because of days like today.
[ laughter .]
Today.
[ laughter .]
[ up-tempo music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ up-tempo music plays .]
this is the moment kids live [ up-tempo music plays .]
this is the moment kids live for.
this is the moment kids live for.
You remember this birthday For.
You remember this birthday party, when you have a birthday You remember this birthday party, when you have a birthday party where you rent some place Party, when you have a birthday party where you rent some place out and there's a clown.
Party where you rent some place out and there's a clown.
q doesn't know that the Out and there's a clown.
q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child said it was okay, so they know, Parent of the birthday child said it was okay, so they know, but nobody else in the room Said it was okay, so they know, but nobody else in the room does.
But nobody else in the room does.
none of the other parents, Does.
none of the other parents, none of the other kids know none of the other parents, none of the other kids know what's about to happen.
None of the other kids know what's about to happen.
come on out, q.
What's about to happen.
come on out, q.
[ laughs .]
come on out, q.
[ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! Here he is! oh! Here he is! [ screaming .]
Here he is! [ screaming .]
[ laughter .]
[ screaming .]
[ laughter .]
he looks crazy! [ laughter .]
he looks crazy! Look at his beard! he looks crazy! Look at his beard! His beard! Look at his beard! His beard! how are ya? His beard! how are ya? you want to do a big how are ya? you want to do a big entrance, buddy, so do, like, a you want to do a big entrance, buddy, so do, like, a somersault and jump on the Entrance, buddy, so do, like, a somersault and jump on the trampoline.
Somersault and jump on the trampoline.
[ grunts .]
Trampoline.
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
you fat bastard! [ laughter .]
you fat bastard! You broke the trampoline! you fat bastard! You broke the trampoline! uh, I should've saw that one You broke the trampoline! uh, I should've saw that one coming.
uh, I should've saw that one coming.
[ laughing .]
oh, hey.
How are Coming.
[ laughing .]
oh, hey.
How are you doing, everybody? [ laughing .]
oh, hey.
How are you doing, everybody? "I'm smush the clown.
" You doing, everybody? "I'm smush the clown.
" I'm smush the clown.
"I'm smush the clown.
" I'm smush the clown.
How's everybody doing? I'm smush the clown.
How's everybody doing? [ laughing .]
look at her How's everybody doing? [ laughing .]
look at her face! [ laughing .]
look at her face! q, grab a hula-hoop and show Face! q, grab a hula-hoop and show them how you hula.
q, grab a hula-hoop and show them how you hula.
all right.
Them how you hula.
all right.
Who knows how to hula-hoop? all right.
Who knows how to hula-hoop? me! Who knows how to hula-hoop? me! oh, let smush the clown show me! oh, let smush the clown show you how it's done.
oh, let smush the clown show you how it's done.
All right, here we go.
I'm not gonna do it right? they're on to him already.
here we go! they're on to him already.
here we go! [ up-tempo music plays .]
here we go! [ up-tempo music plays .]
smush the clown! [ up-tempo music plays .]
smush the clown! [ laughter .]
Smush the clown! [ laughter .]
[ music stops .]
[ laughter .]
[ music stops .]
[ laughing .]
what is he [ music stops .]
[ laughing .]
what is he doing? [ laughing .]
what is he doing? [ music resumes .]
Doing? [ music resumes .]
all right! There we go.
[ music resumes .]
all right! There we go.
[ music stops .]
all right! There we go.
[ music stops .]
what? You don't like it? [ music stops .]
what? You don't like it? No? What? You don't like it? No? oh, my god! No? oh, my god! in the box, there's a thing oh, my god! in the box, there's a thing of prescription of pills.
in the box, there's a thing of prescription of pills.
Just take one and pop it.
Of prescription of pills.
Just take one and pop it.
[ laughter .]
all right.
q, ask for a volunteer right all right.
q, ask for a volunteer right now.
q, ask for a volunteer right now.
I need a volunteer.
Now.
I need a volunteer.
Who wants to volunteer? I need a volunteer.
Who wants to volunteer? Wow! Anybody? Who wants to volunteer? Wow! Anybody? All right, all right, all right.
Wow! Anybody? All right, all right, all right.
You, young lady, come on in.
All right, all right, all right.
You, young lady, come on in.
[ laughter .]
You, young lady, come on in.
[ laughter .]
it's time for a magic trick.
[ laughter .]
it's time for a magic trick.
yay! it's time for a magic trick.
yay! q, grab the box from the back yay! q, grab the box from the back there.
q, grab the box from the back there.
Okay.
There.
Okay.
I'm gonna show you a magic Okay.
I'm gonna show you a magic trick.
I'm gonna show you a magic trick.
All right.
Trick.
All right.
Oh, this is horrible.
All right.
Oh, this is horrible.
now, q, go into the toy chest Oh, this is horrible.
now, q, go into the toy chest and wrap her up in chains and now, q, go into the toy chest and wrap her up in chains and rope and duct tape.
And wrap her up in chains and rope and duct tape.
oh, god.
Rope and duct tape.
oh, god.
[ laughing .]
oh, god.
[ laughing .]
okay, are you ready for this? [ laughing .]
okay, are you ready for this? [ laughter .]
okay, are you ready for this? [ laughter .]
put your hands out.
[ laughter .]
put your hands out.
All right.
Yeah.
Put your hands out.
All right.
Yeah.
[ laughing .]
we're wrapping All right.
Yeah.
[ laughing .]
we're wrapping up children in duct tape.
[ laughing .]
we're wrapping up children in duct tape.
all right.
Up children in duct tape.
all right.
all right.
Yay! 2! Yay! 2! It's a magic trick! [ laughs .]
here we go.
[ screaming .]
yay! I'm gonna make all these chains yay! I'm gonna make all these chains disappear off her.
I'm gonna make all these chains disappear off her.
put the box over her head.
Disappear off her.
put the box over her head.
When she comes out of the box, put the box over her head.
When she comes out of the box, she'll be free.
When she comes out of the box, she'll be free.
all right.
She'll be free.
all right.
When she comes out of the box, all right.
When she comes out of the box, she's gonna be free.
When she comes out of the box, she's gonna be free.
Abracadabra! She's gonna be free.
Abracadabra! Ta-da! Abracadabra! Ta-da! [ laughter .]
Oh! Who just threw an egg at me? [ laughter .]
Who just threw an egg at me? [ laughter .]
we gave one kid one egg and [ laughter .]
we gave one kid one egg and said, "throw it whenever you we gave one kid one egg and said, "throw it whenever you want.
" Said, "throw it whenever you want.
" thanks a lot, kid.
Want.
" thanks a lot, kid.
[ laughter .]
thanks a lot, kid.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
Where's the birthday girl? All right.
Where's the birthday girl? Come here, birthday girl! Where's the birthday girl? Come here, birthday girl! q, you're gonna present her Come here, birthday girl! q, you're gonna present her cake to her.
q, you're gonna present her cake to her.
oh, boy.
Cake to her.
oh, boy.
Look at this beautiful cake.
oh, boy.
Look at this beautiful cake.
Please don't tell me Look at this beautiful cake.
Please don't tell me [ laughter .]
Please don't tell me [ laughter .]
q doesn't know that the [ laughter .]
q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child and q doesn't know that the parent of the birthday child and the girl herself are in on the Parent of the birthday child and the girl herself are in on the joke.
The girl herself are in on the joke.
[ laughs .]
Joke.
[ laughs .]
what's my name, emily? [ laughs .]
what's my name, emily? smush.
what's my name, emily? smush.
"and why do they call me smush.
"and why do they call me smush?" "and why do they call me smush?" why do they call me smush? Smush?" why do they call me smush? go ahead.
why do they call me smush? go ahead.
Slowly smush and ruin that cake.
go ahead.
Slowly smush and ruin that cake.
Just lean on the cake.
Slowly smush and ruin that cake.
Just lean on the cake.
[ laughs .]
Just lean on the cake.
[ laughs .]
because I smush things! [ laughs .]
because I smush things! no! because I smush things! no! [ laughter .]
push, push.
[ children shouting .]
they're screaming at him.
[ children shouting .]
they're screaming at him.
It's a revolution! they're screaming at him.
It's a revolution! oh, god.
It's a revolution! oh, god.
"don't worry.
oh, god.
"don't worry.
Now you get to get your revenge "don't worry.
Now you get to get your revenge on smush.
" Now you get to get your revenge on smush.
" now you get to get your On smush.
" now you get to get your revenge on smush.
now you get to get your revenge on smush.
she takes that whole cake and Revenge on smush.
she takes that whole cake and just smushes it right in your she takes that whole cake and just smushes it right in your face.
Just smushes it right in your face.
you want to -- Face.
you want to -- [ sighs .]
you want to -- [ sighs .]
you want to smush this cake in [ sighs .]
you want to smush this cake in my face? You want to smush this cake in my face? Come on, kiddo.
My face? Come on, kiddo.
[ laughter .]
Come on, kiddo.
[ laughter .]
yes, q, you made it.
[ laughter .]
yes, q, you made it.
Way to go, smush.
ow! They're hitting me! They're hitting me! oh, my god.
They are slaughtering him.
[ laughter .]
[ laughing .]
he looks like Heath ledger as the joker.
happy birthday, emily.
[ laughter .]
that's how you do it.