Glee s04e21 Episode Script
Wonder-ful
Hey, Mr.
Shue, it's Rachel, how are you? Rachel, hey, good.
Yeah, just, uh, getting ready for regionals.
Well, I wanted you to be the first that I told even before Kurt, before my dads, or even before Finn that I had my callback for Funny Girl this morning.
Wait, did you get Fanny Brice? Not yet, but it's between me and two other girls.
Oh, that is incredible news, Rachel.
Y-You're a shoo-in.
Aw, I just want you to know that if it does happen, it's because of you.
Well, if, if I contributed even a little bit Well, you contributed more than a little.
I sang "Don't Stop Believin'" for my audition, and when I sang it, I thought about that first week that we were all in Glee Club and how amazing we all were together, and it just brought back so many emotions, it made my performance so powerful, and, well, you were the one that put that all together, so You okay, Mr.
Shue? Yeah, fine, just allergies.
Rachel I'm so proud of you.
Y-You're one of our biggest success stories, a-and no matter what happens with Funny Girl, I mean, you're in New York, you're living your dream.
Not many people can say that.
I know, it's a special and wonderful thing, so And when I'm at Radio City and I'm accepting my Tony Award and I forget to thank you, well, thank you.
Thank you.
Wonderful.
All right, guys, I just got some wonderful news from Rachel.
She's got a second callback for Funny Girl.
And that's not our only good news.
Brittany is at M.
I.
T.
touring the campus because she's got an early acceptance.
That can't be true.
And I re-proposed to Emma.
She reaccepted, and we're getting married after regionals.
Yay! We're excited.
I've got good news, too.
I'm wait-listed at the Columbus College of Veterinary Medicine.
It's a fallback if I don't pursue acting.
Bless her heart.
Tina, that's not just good news.
It's wonderful, and that's what this week is all about.
We're taking a lesson from one of the greatest musical artists of all time.
Despite facing a ton of obstacles, he's a living example of embracing n-n-no, celebrating joy and optimism, and he's collected So don't you worry 'bout a thing because whether you're ebony or ivory, you are the sunshine of my life.
Yes.
And next week at regionals we will be jammin' on higher ground.
Yay! Yeah-yeah, it's a Stevie Wonder week.
Hey, Crippy Longstocking, wait up.
You know what? That's offensive.
Aw, boo hoo.
I have a disability, too.
My disability is that I can't tell when something's offensive, and for you to point that out is bullying.
Care to share why you're so depressed? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Nice try, liar.
You're depressed and I know why.
When the girls were performing during Guilty Pleasures Week, you used those googly, thyroid-conditioned eyeballs of yours and ogled me like I was a Taiwanese streetwalker.
Well, I regret to inform you that you will never be climbing all up on this.
Actually that's not what I was upset about, but thank you for giving me something else to make me depressed.
Aha! I knew you were depressed about something.
Yesterday when I got home, there was an envelope waiting for me, and inside was the news that I got accepted into the Brooklyn Film Academy.
Wait, are you serious? Yes, actually I am.
But you know what? I'm not going.
Why? Believe it or not, I don't want to talk about it, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone.
Two more days until Dad gets his test results.
Either all of the stuff the doctors have been doing has worked and he's cancer free or it hasn't.
I have to be there for the appointment mostly to translate for Dad.
Why do perfectly intelligent parents become completely unreliable when they have to go to the doctor? I'm only packing light blue socks because light blue is the color of clear skies, and that's what I'm hoping for.
Yes, I'm getting a little OCD leading up to this appointment.
Rachel said it was a natural response, just me looking to control my anxiety in some way.
I figure I need to cut myself some slack.
So what if I have a few new rituals to get me through the day? Oh, crap, it's 4:14.
I touch my nose three times at 14 and 28 past the hour for good luck.
I know every kid is scared of losing their dad, but he's the only thing that got me through my mom dying, and if I have to say good-bye to him, too, well, I'm not going to think about it.
Coming back for Dad is also a perfect excuse to come see everyone and Blaine, of course.
Don't worry, we're not hooking up this time.
Feels weird seeing him, still, but not as weird.
I can't tell if that makes me feel sad or not.
At least I know I won't have to face this all alone.
Lucky for me, there are a few other people in town this week to walk alongside me.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello there.
Oh, hey! Oh, yeah, baby Like a fool I went and stayed too long Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong Ooh, baby Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours Hmm Then that time I went and said good-bye Now I'm back and not ashamed to cry Ooh, baby Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours Oh Here I am, baby, oh Signed Sealed, delivered, I'm yours You got my future in your hands Baby I Here I am, baby, I Signed You got my future in your hands Sealed, delivered, I'm yours Baby Yeah I've done a lot of foolish things Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba That I really didn't mean, oh, yeah Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Yeah, didn't I? Oh, baby Oowee, baby, set my soul on fire Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh That's why I know you're my heart's only desire Ooh, baby Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours Oh Here I am, baby, oh Signed Sealed, delivered, I'm yours You got my future in your hands, baby Baby Ah Here I am, baby Yeah, yeah Signed, sealed, delivered Delivered, oh, oh, oh, yeah I'm yours, baby Ooh, here I am Signed, sealed, delivered Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Yeah, oh I'm yours.
Seemed like the perfect Stevie song to celebrate Artie getting his acceptance letter into film school.
Yeah, bring it.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
That's right.
Well, you know, that may have been the perfect song, but that performance was just one package that I'm not signing for.
I mean, honestly, it was good, but you guys have got to be great for regionals.
Yeah, clearly we should be taking our advice from someone who came crawling back to Ohio after apparently having her L.
A.
dream shattered.
You learn your new lyrics yet? Do you want fries with that? Oh, well, maybe if you put some of that sass in your performance, your teacher wouldn't have begged me to come here and be your new vocal coach.
Mercedes is one of the strongest vocalists in McKinley Glee Club history.
So get on point, Kitty, your little theory about Mercedes' shattered dreams, like most of the garbage that comes out of your mouth, is wrong.
All right, Mercedes is back because she has a new album coming out, all about home, and she's come back to film a video for it.
Wow, Mercedes, that's awesome.
And Mr.
Shue asked me to help choreograph for regionals.
I love you, Mike, I love all my exes.
But this isn't wonderful news, it's shocking.
Now we need some guy to help us dance? Hashtag Glee Hates Girls.
And what are you here to lecture us about, Kurt, our horrible taste in clothing? My dad has cancer.
Thanks, Tina.
All right, let's take this whole thing from the top.
Kitty in the back.
Marley, I want you on lead vocals.
All right, come on let's go.
Artie.
I told you not to say anything.
Come on, Artie, I just gave you a big shout-out in the choir room because you have a lot to be proud of.
I'm not going, so I have nothing to be proud of, Kitty.
Thank you for the effort, though.
Isn't a big film school like your dream or something? Tap the brakes, buddy.
My mom is freaking out.
She's taken care of me my whole life, and it's scary for her to think of me in the big city all alone.
New York isn't exactly wheel-friendly unless you're a bike messenger.
And why are you being so nice? Why do you even care? Duh, I'm trying to be wonderful.
I like to switch it up, be unpredictable.
Sometimes I'm sweet, sometimes I'm sour.
Keeps it interesting.
Besides, I know how important you are to your mom, but you'd be amazing in film school.
Just think about it.
All this marriage equality news is so exciting.
New York.
It's just it's gonna be insane.
Isabelle's already consulting on like, seven different gay weddings.
It's historic, and soon I'm going to be in New York to see it.
By the way, you look cute today.
And I mean like, like, dirty-cute.
The album is called Hell 2 The No, based off of the soon-to-be hit single.
I love it.
But for the music video, Mike, you know, it's got to be bumping, and fast and furious, but also soulful and smooth, but like "smoov," you know, like smooth with a "V.
" And I want eleganza, I want club kid sickness, I want fresh, fresh, fresh.
It's got to pop.
You are so L.
A.
right now it's breathless.
Mike knows what I'm talking about, right? Oh, I totally know what you mean.
Don't worry.
I'm all over it.
With what I've learned at the Joffrey, I've got new moves so hot you're gonna want to say.
"Hell to the yes.
" Yeah, don't change the brand.
No.
I'm so glad you guys are back here just before regionals.
We really need you around.
You're gonna nail it, no sweat.
All right, so what's ing on between you two? Because it was pretty boy-on-boy heavy at the wedding.
We're not together.
Um, but it's cool.
Why did I hear that Tina did something to you called the vapo Okay, dude, is that really important right now? This doesn't matter.
Kurt, your dad is gonna be fine.
Everything is gonna be okay.
We're here.
Trust.
Wow.
Well, Blaine's right, thank God you guys are here because we both need you right now.
I don't know, Bernard.
Sure smells like someone's getting ready for a second Funny Girl callback.
Who told you guys about that? We also know who your competish is, and bitches be formidable.
The latest postings on BroadwayWorld.
com have you neck and neck with two-time Tony winner Sutton Foster.
No, that's impossible.
First of all, she's on Bunheads, and she has the wrong nose.
This would be during her hiatus, and word around Shubert Alley is she's looking into prosthetics, as is Miss Mamie Gummer, daughter of the legendary legend, Meryl Streep.
What? Can she even sing? Point is, you better bring your A game, and you better hope no one tells Cassandra about your extracurricular activities.
Why? NYADA's students are allowed to explore outside acting opportunities.
Technically, but you need a teacher to sign of.
And Cassie July's been looking for a reason to destroy and expel you since day one.
So from where we're standing, you're not just risking humiliation at the hands of one of the Streep girls by going after Fanny You're also risking the Greek-like wrath of Cassandra July.
But don't worry, we sincerely doubt Cassie July's trolling the Broadway chat rooms, keeping tabs on her most hated student.
Just confirmed, Rachel Berry is a finalist for Fanny Brice.
We thought you'd want to know and pray this wins us your favor.
Mm.
Alright everybody, let's give it up for Island Beetz recording artist extraordinaire, Mercedes Jones.
All right, all right.
Now, I know that Kurt is going through a lot this week, but in spite of that, we are all very happy to be here.
As you may remember, we saw you guys at sectionals, and there's a reason that you guys lost.
Fear.
For instance, Marley.
You have got killer vocals, homegirl, so why is it that I've never heard you do a Mercedes Jones-style vocal run? I don't know.
I-I guess I've just been scared to try.
Exactly.
You're scared to belt it out.
And you're probably afraid that when you do, I'm gonna test your breath control by hitting you in the solar plexus with this maraca.
All right, give this girl a note to do a little runnin' with.
Oh See? If you had better breath control, you could probably hold that note every time.
All right, floppy-headed bass player, why don't you give us a little bit of that spooky Stevie Wonder bass line to get us moving.
And all of y'all need to shake out your nerves and stop being so scared, and that includes you, Kurt.
I know what you're going through, and this one's for you, baby.
And, Marley, I want to hear those high notes, and don't be stingy with those runs.
Very superstitious Writing's on the wall Very superstitious Ladders 'bout to fall Thirteen-month-old baby, yeah Broke the looking glass Yeah Seven years of bad luck, yeah The good things in your past Oh When you believe in things That you don't understand, then you suffer Don't understand Superstition ain't the way Hey, yeah Ooh, very superstitious Wash your face and hands Rid me of the problems Do all that you can Keep me in a daydream Keep me going strong You don't want to save me Sad is my song Oh, whoa When you believe in things you don't understand Then you suffer Superstition ain't the way No, no, no, no, no When you believe in things That you don't understand Then you suffer Superstition ain't the way.
Hey.
Hold up.
Take a big, deep breath and remember this moment, Little Puckerman, because your life is about to change forever.
Mercedes wants you and me to be her featured dancers.
You're a triple threat, dude you're an amazing singer, you've got sick dance moves And you're sexy as hell.
We think you're Glee Club's secret weapon.
You've got to start being a leader.
I'm just a sophomore.
No.
You're gonna twiddle your sexy thumbs waiting for some upperclassman to order you around? Hell to the no.
You know, Jesus wrote in the Bible somewhere, "Do not hide your light under a bushel.
" You've got to let it shine! Are you gonna argue with our Lord and Savior Jesus? I mean, I'm Jewish.
So was he.
You're gonna be in my music video, and you're gonna start taking your God-given talent seriously because, baby, you're a damn superstar.
How long have we been waiting? I don't know.
Like 15 minutes.
After a half hour in the waiting room? Please tell me that is not a dark blue T-shirt under your flannel.
All right, I asked you not to wear dark colors.
Okay, dark blue is close to black, and we all know what black means.
I don't think my wardrobe is gonna have any impact on what the results are.
But you don't know for sure, okay? I mean, I asked you to do one thing.
I am barely keeping it together, Kurt! Can you just knock it off please and sit down? Hey, Doc, what's the good word? You know, I'm gonna skip the cliches about my golf game and get right to it.
As you know, we were mildly aggressive with your treatment considering you were still in stage I.
We used implant radiation therapy.
And he completely changed his diet.
Well, whatever you were doing, it worked.
The tumor's gone.
What? Your PSA levels are back to normal, and you have the prostate of a 20-year-old according to your Gleason scores.
Okay, wait, s-so you're saying he's cured? We prefer "in remission" but in layman's terms, yeah.
Hey! Hey! Looks like I picked the right shirt, huh, buddy? Come on, man! Oh! Doc, thank you so much.
Thank you.
Take a moment.
Oh, my God.
I just I wasn't ready to leave you guys yet.
Things aren't finished, right? So much to do.
You getting married, grandbabies, having old people sex with Carole.
Ugh.
I'm just so happy.
I'm not going to miss it.
I love you guys.
Oh, I love you.
Love you.
I don't have cancer.
All right.
He'll be here.
Any minute, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Dad! Hey.
Hi, everybody.
Good to see you.
Shue.
Good to see you, buddy.
Likewise.
How you doing? What's up, Blaine? Well, it's probably not a surprise why I asked you to come here today.
I'm guessing it has something to do with a song? Yes.
But not just any song.
See, the last time I dedicated a song to you in this room, you were in the hospital.
But today we are celebrating life's most treasured and wonderful gift a second chance.
See, when I was little, you used to sing this song to me in the car all the time and it always put a smile on my face.
So today it's my turn to sing, and your turn to smile.
I'm already there, kiddo.
You are the sunshine of my life That's why I'll always be around You are the apple of my eye Ooh ooh Ooh ooh Forever you'll stay in my heart Ooh ooh You must have known that I was lonely Yeah Because you came to my rescue Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh And I know that this must be heaven How could so much love Be inside of you? Whoa, oh-oh, oh You are the sunshine of my life Yeah That's why I'll always stay around Mm, mm-mm, mm You are the apple of my eye Ah, ah, ah Ah Forever you'll stay in my heart Yeah, yeah, oh, oh Yeah Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do Uh huh Whoa! Yeah! Thank you so much.
I've had a lot of experience, honest! Why, I've been on the stage since I was ten, amateur contests, Gottlieb's Southern Repertory Well, well, if it isn't Little Miss David Schwimmer.
I'm sorry, I thought that I reserved this room.
So you could stare at yourself in the mirror and run lines for your Funny Girl callback? You know this isn't normal, right? Running lines in the mirror isn't a typical step in the acting process.
Actors less narcissistic than yourself actually prefer to rehearse with other actors.
Who told you about my callback? Barbra Streisand, a very close personal friend.
See, I ran into her at Target, and then in passing she just said that a NYADA freshman who looked like a troll was slated to read for producers on Wednesday.
And then I thought to myself, "Babs can't be talking about Schwimmer.
Schwimmer has her dance midterm that day.
" Please, Ms.
July Mm-hmm? I cannot miss this callback, okay? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity Right.
I wouldn't dream of you missing it.
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, too.
And I plan on attending that callback.
Because you have a tendency to choke under pressure, and so I'm going to be there with Barbra and her husband, James Brolin to watch you blow your first big Broadway audition.
In the meantime, I'm gonna change your midterm to tomorrow morning.
What? You heard me, David.
you will perform the solo of the second act of Balanchine's "Concerto Barocco," which is widely regarded as the most difficult ballet routine ever devised, while you're widely regarded as of having one of the puffiest morning faces of any known human.
It's gonna be a great combination.
Since this week is about wonderful things, I want to celebrate a wonderful talent.
He's new to Glee Club this year, but I think if we all help him with his confidence, he can lead us all the way to nationals.
Stop being so modest and get your butt up here, Jake! Looking back on when I Was a little nappy-headed boy Then my only worry Was for Christmas, what would be my toy Trying your best to bring the Water to your eyes hinking it might stop her From whooping your behind I wish those days Could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go I wish those days could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go 'Cause I loved them so Doo-doo, doo-doo Do, do, do, do, do-do-do Doo-doo, doo-doo Do, do, do, do-do-do Smoking cigarettes And writing something nasty On the wall Do, do, do-do-do-do You nasty boy Ba, ba, bap Teacher sends you to the principal's office Down the hall Do, do, do-do-do-do Do, da-na-na-na Ba, ba, bap You grow up and learn that Kind of thing ain't right But while you were doin' it It sure felt out of sight I wish those days Could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go I wish Those days Could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go Ba, ba, ba Ba, ba-dap-ba Bap-ba, da-bap Bap-ba-ba, da-bap Wow! Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba-dap-ba Oh, oh Bap-ba, da-bap Bap-ba-ba, da-bap Yeah Ba, ba, ba Ba, ba-dap-ba Hey Bap-ba, da-bap Ba, ba, ba-dap-ba Whoa, oh Do-do, do-do Do, do, do, do, do-do-do Do, do, do, do do-do do-do-do-do.
This is gonna work.
I just wish Mercedes was here to see it.
Where is she? What? Oh, you can try that, but my uncle Julius is an attorney and we will sue you right back.
No, I don't need a night to think about it.
Look, I cannot believe what just happened.
Who was that? Just my useless "producer.
" I thought you liked him.
I did.
When we were in the studio.
Whoa-oh.
I'd say let's have another go, Mercedes, but honestly, your voice was perfection.
So, let's move on with "Lover on the DL" if we can, please.
Then I got a little skeptical when we were doing the photo shoot for my CD's cover art.
Could you just lean forward a bit there, Mercedes? And drop that shoulder wrap.
Look, I'm not comfortable with that, Martin.
You look like a girl going to church or the prom.
Not like a girl who needs to move 100,000 units just to make a minor splash in this marketplace.
This is the look.
This is what I'm wearing.
All right.
You heard the lady.
She's the boss.
Now they're saying my CD is off of their release schedule until I agree to another photo shoot.
One showing more skin.
What? Screw him.
Oh, and he said he'd be happy to use another girl's picture.
On your CD? The one that you are singing on? Oh, hell to the no.
They don't want me.
They just want my voice, not my whole person.
You know, it's crazy, guys.
I'm going to be dealing with this the rest of my career.
Everyone is gonna want me to look like Beyoncé, and no one is gonna be satisfied with me, Mercedes Jones.
And they're crazy, and you don't want to be in business with people like that.
You're not actually considering it, are you? I've been working on this album for a year.
I need it to come out.
Look, I'm sorry, guys.
I don't what I'm gonna do, but I need to talk to my mom about this hot mess.
Mom, I'm home.
Hi, Artie.
Yeah, hey, Artie.
Guess I beat you here, and I guess I beat you to telling your mom about your good news.
Honey, why would you hide something like that from me? So much for your lies.
Your mom's completely on board with you going to Brooklyn Film Academy, by the way.
I thought you were a lot of things, but I didn't peg you for a wuss.
I guess you two have a lot to talk about.
All right, why would you tell people that I'm afraid to let you go to New York? Because I'm afraid to go, okay? I just thought it'd be easier to blame it on you.
Well, you've never been afraid of anything in your life.
Because my life has been pretty sheltered.
Because you built that ramp that I just rolled down so I could get in the living room.
Because you converted the den into my bedroom so I didn't have to go upstairs.
Because you built that bathroom add-on Artie, you did those things.
They were all your suggestions.
I didn't know how to handle your needs.
So you adapted and you will adapt in New York.
So what's the real reason you don't want to go? I don't want to leave you alone.
Ever since the accident, you've devoted every spare moment to taking care of me.
And it just feels selfish that the thanks I give is packing up and leaving.
Oh, honey, that's exactly what I want.
You have been dreaming about making movies since you were a kid.
You're going.
I love you.
I love you, too.
And if you ever imply again that I'm an old hag I'm gonna tip you over.
Right.
Going to New York.
I don't know what to say, Schwimmer, I'm in a hell of a mood today.
So when you do inevitably faceflop like a ragdoll, at least, I don't know, try to make me laugh.
You know what? You've been wrong about me all year, and you're gonna be wrong about me again.
What's this? This is your midterm.
I don't understand.
This is NYADA.
We are the best of the best, and make no mistake, will crush you to get the role ourselves.
But we are also family, we get through it together, and we celebrate each other when there's big news.
And this is big news.
You've danced your way through the fire all year, and you're still standing tall.
So we are gonna get you through this midterm so you can go kick some NYADA ass at your first big Broadway callback! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, out of sight Baby, everything is all right Uptight, out of sight I'm a poor man's son from across the railroad track The only shirt I own is hanging on my back But I'm the envy of every single guy Since I'm the apple of my girl's eye When we go out stepping on the town for a while My money's low and my suit's out of style But it's all right if my clothes aren't new Out of sight, because my heart is true She says, "Baby, everything is all right " Uptight, out of sight" Baby, everything is all right Uptight, clean out of sight Whoo whoo-oo-oo Whoo-oo-oo She's a pearl of a girl I guess that's what you might say I guess her folks brought her up that way The right side of the tracks, she was born and raised In a great big old house, full of butlers and maids She says, "Baby, everything is all right " Uptight, clean out of sight" Whoo! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, clean out of sight Whoo! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, ah-ha-ha-ha, yeah Whoo! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, way out of sight Baby! Oh, my God, I was so surprise.
All right, everyone.
Ah, all right.
Sit down.
So, today's lesson Well, I was gonna say "truth," but it's about this crazy-ass business that a lot of us want to get into.
If you're gonna tell us to not even try 'cause it's too hard No, no, I'm just saying be ready.
You know, when I graduated, a producer said he wanted to do a CD of my music, which, oh, my God, that's been my dream since before I even sat in this room.
Turns out, he only wanted to do that on his terms.
So I had a choice to make: I could do it his way and get there a lot faster, or I could do it my way, and maybe never, never even make it.
So I talked go my parents and my friends, and I made a decision.
It's my voice, Martin.
Those are my songs.
They tell my story.
I'm not gonna spend all this time working on my truth, and then have you slap something that doesn't even represent the real me on its cover.
So, I don't have a record deal anymore, but I do have a record, which I'll be giving to all of you, and selling at a table in front of my church and out of my car, and on Amazon, so, whatever happens, at least I was true to myself.
And you will have gotten there by taking and you know it's coming the higher ground.
Hit it! Ooh, child this is happiness.
People keep on learnin' Soldiers keep on warrin' World keep on turnin' 'Cause it won't be too long Oh, no No-oh, oh-oh I'm so darn glad he let me try it again 'Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then Gonna keep on tryin' Till I reach the highest ground Oh, oh-, whoa-oh, oh-oh, yeah Lovers keep on lovin' Believers keep on believin', yeah Sleepers just stop sleepin' 'Cause it won't be too long Oh, no Yeah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah I'm so darn glad he let me try it again 'Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then Gonna keep on tryin' Till I reach my highest ground Yeah, ah-ah, yeah Oh Till I reach my highest ground Oh, yeah, no God is gonna show you higher ground.
Oh, she's back! She's back! Oh, thank you, everybody.
Anderson, you wanted to see me? You're not going to sing to me, too, are you? I just wanted to give you this.
You can open it.
I thought maybe you could wear it at work to show support for gay marriage.
Oh, it's really sweet of you.
Gay rights has been my top issue, even though it makes me wildly unpopular with my distinguished colleagues.
They're on the wrong side of history, so screw 'em.
I am so glad that you feel that way, because assuming that we legally can, um, I wanted to formally ask for your permission to ask Kurt to marry me.
You kidding, or you nuts? Kurt is my soul mate.
I know that I've hurt him badly, but I also know that if I want to get him back, I have to do something bold.
Blaine, it means a lot to me that you love Kurt, and you know, you've been like family to me So, you' saying that you're okay with me asking for his hand? Oh, of course not.
No, you're still kids.
Did you learn anything from Finn and Rachel? They are completely different.
Completely different.
I don't think that you understand how it feels to finally be able to legally get married.
And you don't really get what it is to be married.
Straight, gay, whatever.
It's not the same as living together.
Blaine, listen, let's sit down for a second.
Seriously, come here.
Look, I can't tell you why, but something happens when you exchange vows.
It's a big deal.
It's why getting divorce is so much harder than breaking up.
There's just a really big difference between marrying a person and marrying an idea.
What if he meets someone else? You think you two were meant to be? Yes.
Do you think you two have a true love? Yes! Then stop worrying.
I got to go.
Thanks for the pin.
Sure.
Hey it's gonna be okay.
How do you know that, though? When two people love each other like you two do everything works out.
Yes.
All right, let's review.
What are y'all gonna do at regionals? Riff, run and grunt! Emote! Commit! Step up to the plate and embrace our talent.
And just like my boo Miss Mercedes Jones, we're gonna treat every note we sing and every breath we take with a little something-something we in the business of show simply call "passion.
" And passion can be a scary thing, but we shouldn't run or hide from it because passion is it's wonderful, yo.
Auditorium, I got a little jam I'm gonna sing for all y'alls! And you best believe it's gonna be sung with say what?! Passion! Yes! Thank you.
Yes! What's that? It's a gift.
I got it at the Broadway Flea Market.
It is Debbie Allen's original cane from Fame the movie.
Hmm.
I wanted to thank you for what you did.
The number? That's NYADA tradition.
We do that when one of the tribe gets a Broadway audition.
Not the number.
I wanted to thank you for everything that you've done for me this year.
So thank you.
I've busted your ass since September.
You made me a better dancer.
And that's why I came to NYADA, to learn and be challenged, and to work with the best of the best.
I saw something in you.
That first day, and I thought to myself, "This one's special.
This one might make it.
" And that's why I'm so relentless.
Even the whole Brody thing? Well, that was because of his abs.
What? But yours are so much better.
When's your callback? Oh, it's next week.
I am so nervous, Miss July.
I've never wanted anything more in my whole life.
You're gonna get it.
I know you will, Rachel.
What's up? This is going to take a lot of courage, considering our, um, complicated history, and all the emotions involved, so um, I'm-I'm just gonna say it.
Go ahead, you get kind of cute when you get nervous.
Hmm I wanted to ask you if well, will you maybe s-stick around for regionals? Oh! Oh, yeah, of course.
Yeah, Mercedes and I already talked about it.
We want to stick around and root you guys on at the competition.
Yeah, we wouldn't miss it for the world.
Great.
Yeah.
You know I would've said yes.
Right? I know What a wonderful, wonderful week.
And with you in it, a wonderful life.
For once in my life I have someone who needs me Someone I've needed so long For once unafraid I can go where life leads me Somehow I know I'll be strong For once I can touch What my heart used to dream of Long before I knew Whoa-oh Someone warm like you Would make my dreams come true Yeah, yeah, yeah For once in my life For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me Not like it's hurt me before Not like it's hurt before For once I have something I know won't desert me I'm not alone anymore I'm not alone anymore For once I can say This is mine you can't take it As long as I know I have love I can make it For oe in my life I have someone who needs me Someone who needs me Ha, ha, hey, yeah Someone who needs me Oh, baby, love, for once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me Not like it's hurt me before Not like it's hurt before For once I have something I know won't desert me I'm not alone anymore I'm not alone anymore For once I can say This is mine you can't take it As long as I know I have love I can make it For once in my life I have someone who needs me Someone who needs me Oh For once in my life Someone who needs me Yeah Somebody that needs me Someone who needs me Ooh, baby For once in my life Someone who needs me Oh, baby, for once in my life.
Shue, it's Rachel, how are you? Rachel, hey, good.
Yeah, just, uh, getting ready for regionals.
Well, I wanted you to be the first that I told even before Kurt, before my dads, or even before Finn that I had my callback for Funny Girl this morning.
Wait, did you get Fanny Brice? Not yet, but it's between me and two other girls.
Oh, that is incredible news, Rachel.
Y-You're a shoo-in.
Aw, I just want you to know that if it does happen, it's because of you.
Well, if, if I contributed even a little bit Well, you contributed more than a little.
I sang "Don't Stop Believin'" for my audition, and when I sang it, I thought about that first week that we were all in Glee Club and how amazing we all were together, and it just brought back so many emotions, it made my performance so powerful, and, well, you were the one that put that all together, so You okay, Mr.
Shue? Yeah, fine, just allergies.
Rachel I'm so proud of you.
Y-You're one of our biggest success stories, a-and no matter what happens with Funny Girl, I mean, you're in New York, you're living your dream.
Not many people can say that.
I know, it's a special and wonderful thing, so And when I'm at Radio City and I'm accepting my Tony Award and I forget to thank you, well, thank you.
Thank you.
Wonderful.
All right, guys, I just got some wonderful news from Rachel.
She's got a second callback for Funny Girl.
And that's not our only good news.
Brittany is at M.
I.
T.
touring the campus because she's got an early acceptance.
That can't be true.
And I re-proposed to Emma.
She reaccepted, and we're getting married after regionals.
Yay! We're excited.
I've got good news, too.
I'm wait-listed at the Columbus College of Veterinary Medicine.
It's a fallback if I don't pursue acting.
Bless her heart.
Tina, that's not just good news.
It's wonderful, and that's what this week is all about.
We're taking a lesson from one of the greatest musical artists of all time.
Despite facing a ton of obstacles, he's a living example of embracing n-n-no, celebrating joy and optimism, and he's collected So don't you worry 'bout a thing because whether you're ebony or ivory, you are the sunshine of my life.
Yes.
And next week at regionals we will be jammin' on higher ground.
Yay! Yeah-yeah, it's a Stevie Wonder week.
Hey, Crippy Longstocking, wait up.
You know what? That's offensive.
Aw, boo hoo.
I have a disability, too.
My disability is that I can't tell when something's offensive, and for you to point that out is bullying.
Care to share why you're so depressed? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Nice try, liar.
You're depressed and I know why.
When the girls were performing during Guilty Pleasures Week, you used those googly, thyroid-conditioned eyeballs of yours and ogled me like I was a Taiwanese streetwalker.
Well, I regret to inform you that you will never be climbing all up on this.
Actually that's not what I was upset about, but thank you for giving me something else to make me depressed.
Aha! I knew you were depressed about something.
Yesterday when I got home, there was an envelope waiting for me, and inside was the news that I got accepted into the Brooklyn Film Academy.
Wait, are you serious? Yes, actually I am.
But you know what? I'm not going.
Why? Believe it or not, I don't want to talk about it, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone.
Two more days until Dad gets his test results.
Either all of the stuff the doctors have been doing has worked and he's cancer free or it hasn't.
I have to be there for the appointment mostly to translate for Dad.
Why do perfectly intelligent parents become completely unreliable when they have to go to the doctor? I'm only packing light blue socks because light blue is the color of clear skies, and that's what I'm hoping for.
Yes, I'm getting a little OCD leading up to this appointment.
Rachel said it was a natural response, just me looking to control my anxiety in some way.
I figure I need to cut myself some slack.
So what if I have a few new rituals to get me through the day? Oh, crap, it's 4:14.
I touch my nose three times at 14 and 28 past the hour for good luck.
I know every kid is scared of losing their dad, but he's the only thing that got me through my mom dying, and if I have to say good-bye to him, too, well, I'm not going to think about it.
Coming back for Dad is also a perfect excuse to come see everyone and Blaine, of course.
Don't worry, we're not hooking up this time.
Feels weird seeing him, still, but not as weird.
I can't tell if that makes me feel sad or not.
At least I know I won't have to face this all alone.
Lucky for me, there are a few other people in town this week to walk alongside me.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello there.
Oh, hey! Oh, yeah, baby Like a fool I went and stayed too long Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong Ooh, baby Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours Hmm Then that time I went and said good-bye Now I'm back and not ashamed to cry Ooh, baby Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours Oh Here I am, baby, oh Signed Sealed, delivered, I'm yours You got my future in your hands Baby I Here I am, baby, I Signed You got my future in your hands Sealed, delivered, I'm yours Baby Yeah I've done a lot of foolish things Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba That I really didn't mean, oh, yeah Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Yeah, didn't I? Oh, baby Oowee, baby, set my soul on fire Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh That's why I know you're my heart's only desire Ooh, baby Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours Oh Here I am, baby, oh Signed Sealed, delivered, I'm yours You got my future in your hands, baby Baby Ah Here I am, baby Yeah, yeah Signed, sealed, delivered Delivered, oh, oh, oh, yeah I'm yours, baby Ooh, here I am Signed, sealed, delivered Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Yeah, oh I'm yours.
Seemed like the perfect Stevie song to celebrate Artie getting his acceptance letter into film school.
Yeah, bring it.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
That's right.
Well, you know, that may have been the perfect song, but that performance was just one package that I'm not signing for.
I mean, honestly, it was good, but you guys have got to be great for regionals.
Yeah, clearly we should be taking our advice from someone who came crawling back to Ohio after apparently having her L.
A.
dream shattered.
You learn your new lyrics yet? Do you want fries with that? Oh, well, maybe if you put some of that sass in your performance, your teacher wouldn't have begged me to come here and be your new vocal coach.
Mercedes is one of the strongest vocalists in McKinley Glee Club history.
So get on point, Kitty, your little theory about Mercedes' shattered dreams, like most of the garbage that comes out of your mouth, is wrong.
All right, Mercedes is back because she has a new album coming out, all about home, and she's come back to film a video for it.
Wow, Mercedes, that's awesome.
And Mr.
Shue asked me to help choreograph for regionals.
I love you, Mike, I love all my exes.
But this isn't wonderful news, it's shocking.
Now we need some guy to help us dance? Hashtag Glee Hates Girls.
And what are you here to lecture us about, Kurt, our horrible taste in clothing? My dad has cancer.
Thanks, Tina.
All right, let's take this whole thing from the top.
Kitty in the back.
Marley, I want you on lead vocals.
All right, come on let's go.
Artie.
I told you not to say anything.
Come on, Artie, I just gave you a big shout-out in the choir room because you have a lot to be proud of.
I'm not going, so I have nothing to be proud of, Kitty.
Thank you for the effort, though.
Isn't a big film school like your dream or something? Tap the brakes, buddy.
My mom is freaking out.
She's taken care of me my whole life, and it's scary for her to think of me in the big city all alone.
New York isn't exactly wheel-friendly unless you're a bike messenger.
And why are you being so nice? Why do you even care? Duh, I'm trying to be wonderful.
I like to switch it up, be unpredictable.
Sometimes I'm sweet, sometimes I'm sour.
Keeps it interesting.
Besides, I know how important you are to your mom, but you'd be amazing in film school.
Just think about it.
All this marriage equality news is so exciting.
New York.
It's just it's gonna be insane.
Isabelle's already consulting on like, seven different gay weddings.
It's historic, and soon I'm going to be in New York to see it.
By the way, you look cute today.
And I mean like, like, dirty-cute.
The album is called Hell 2 The No, based off of the soon-to-be hit single.
I love it.
But for the music video, Mike, you know, it's got to be bumping, and fast and furious, but also soulful and smooth, but like "smoov," you know, like smooth with a "V.
" And I want eleganza, I want club kid sickness, I want fresh, fresh, fresh.
It's got to pop.
You are so L.
A.
right now it's breathless.
Mike knows what I'm talking about, right? Oh, I totally know what you mean.
Don't worry.
I'm all over it.
With what I've learned at the Joffrey, I've got new moves so hot you're gonna want to say.
"Hell to the yes.
" Yeah, don't change the brand.
No.
I'm so glad you guys are back here just before regionals.
We really need you around.
You're gonna nail it, no sweat.
All right, so what's ing on between you two? Because it was pretty boy-on-boy heavy at the wedding.
We're not together.
Um, but it's cool.
Why did I hear that Tina did something to you called the vapo Okay, dude, is that really important right now? This doesn't matter.
Kurt, your dad is gonna be fine.
Everything is gonna be okay.
We're here.
Trust.
Wow.
Well, Blaine's right, thank God you guys are here because we both need you right now.
I don't know, Bernard.
Sure smells like someone's getting ready for a second Funny Girl callback.
Who told you guys about that? We also know who your competish is, and bitches be formidable.
The latest postings on BroadwayWorld.
com have you neck and neck with two-time Tony winner Sutton Foster.
No, that's impossible.
First of all, she's on Bunheads, and she has the wrong nose.
This would be during her hiatus, and word around Shubert Alley is she's looking into prosthetics, as is Miss Mamie Gummer, daughter of the legendary legend, Meryl Streep.
What? Can she even sing? Point is, you better bring your A game, and you better hope no one tells Cassandra about your extracurricular activities.
Why? NYADA's students are allowed to explore outside acting opportunities.
Technically, but you need a teacher to sign of.
And Cassie July's been looking for a reason to destroy and expel you since day one.
So from where we're standing, you're not just risking humiliation at the hands of one of the Streep girls by going after Fanny You're also risking the Greek-like wrath of Cassandra July.
But don't worry, we sincerely doubt Cassie July's trolling the Broadway chat rooms, keeping tabs on her most hated student.
Just confirmed, Rachel Berry is a finalist for Fanny Brice.
We thought you'd want to know and pray this wins us your favor.
Mm.
Alright everybody, let's give it up for Island Beetz recording artist extraordinaire, Mercedes Jones.
All right, all right.
Now, I know that Kurt is going through a lot this week, but in spite of that, we are all very happy to be here.
As you may remember, we saw you guys at sectionals, and there's a reason that you guys lost.
Fear.
For instance, Marley.
You have got killer vocals, homegirl, so why is it that I've never heard you do a Mercedes Jones-style vocal run? I don't know.
I-I guess I've just been scared to try.
Exactly.
You're scared to belt it out.
And you're probably afraid that when you do, I'm gonna test your breath control by hitting you in the solar plexus with this maraca.
All right, give this girl a note to do a little runnin' with.
Oh See? If you had better breath control, you could probably hold that note every time.
All right, floppy-headed bass player, why don't you give us a little bit of that spooky Stevie Wonder bass line to get us moving.
And all of y'all need to shake out your nerves and stop being so scared, and that includes you, Kurt.
I know what you're going through, and this one's for you, baby.
And, Marley, I want to hear those high notes, and don't be stingy with those runs.
Very superstitious Writing's on the wall Very superstitious Ladders 'bout to fall Thirteen-month-old baby, yeah Broke the looking glass Yeah Seven years of bad luck, yeah The good things in your past Oh When you believe in things That you don't understand, then you suffer Don't understand Superstition ain't the way Hey, yeah Ooh, very superstitious Wash your face and hands Rid me of the problems Do all that you can Keep me in a daydream Keep me going strong You don't want to save me Sad is my song Oh, whoa When you believe in things you don't understand Then you suffer Superstition ain't the way No, no, no, no, no When you believe in things That you don't understand Then you suffer Superstition ain't the way.
Hey.
Hold up.
Take a big, deep breath and remember this moment, Little Puckerman, because your life is about to change forever.
Mercedes wants you and me to be her featured dancers.
You're a triple threat, dude you're an amazing singer, you've got sick dance moves And you're sexy as hell.
We think you're Glee Club's secret weapon.
You've got to start being a leader.
I'm just a sophomore.
No.
You're gonna twiddle your sexy thumbs waiting for some upperclassman to order you around? Hell to the no.
You know, Jesus wrote in the Bible somewhere, "Do not hide your light under a bushel.
" You've got to let it shine! Are you gonna argue with our Lord and Savior Jesus? I mean, I'm Jewish.
So was he.
You're gonna be in my music video, and you're gonna start taking your God-given talent seriously because, baby, you're a damn superstar.
How long have we been waiting? I don't know.
Like 15 minutes.
After a half hour in the waiting room? Please tell me that is not a dark blue T-shirt under your flannel.
All right, I asked you not to wear dark colors.
Okay, dark blue is close to black, and we all know what black means.
I don't think my wardrobe is gonna have any impact on what the results are.
But you don't know for sure, okay? I mean, I asked you to do one thing.
I am barely keeping it together, Kurt! Can you just knock it off please and sit down? Hey, Doc, what's the good word? You know, I'm gonna skip the cliches about my golf game and get right to it.
As you know, we were mildly aggressive with your treatment considering you were still in stage I.
We used implant radiation therapy.
And he completely changed his diet.
Well, whatever you were doing, it worked.
The tumor's gone.
What? Your PSA levels are back to normal, and you have the prostate of a 20-year-old according to your Gleason scores.
Okay, wait, s-so you're saying he's cured? We prefer "in remission" but in layman's terms, yeah.
Hey! Hey! Looks like I picked the right shirt, huh, buddy? Come on, man! Oh! Doc, thank you so much.
Thank you.
Take a moment.
Oh, my God.
I just I wasn't ready to leave you guys yet.
Things aren't finished, right? So much to do.
You getting married, grandbabies, having old people sex with Carole.
Ugh.
I'm just so happy.
I'm not going to miss it.
I love you guys.
Oh, I love you.
Love you.
I don't have cancer.
All right.
He'll be here.
Any minute, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Dad! Hey.
Hi, everybody.
Good to see you.
Shue.
Good to see you, buddy.
Likewise.
How you doing? What's up, Blaine? Well, it's probably not a surprise why I asked you to come here today.
I'm guessing it has something to do with a song? Yes.
But not just any song.
See, the last time I dedicated a song to you in this room, you were in the hospital.
But today we are celebrating life's most treasured and wonderful gift a second chance.
See, when I was little, you used to sing this song to me in the car all the time and it always put a smile on my face.
So today it's my turn to sing, and your turn to smile.
I'm already there, kiddo.
You are the sunshine of my life That's why I'll always be around You are the apple of my eye Ooh ooh Ooh ooh Forever you'll stay in my heart Ooh ooh You must have known that I was lonely Yeah Because you came to my rescue Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh And I know that this must be heaven How could so much love Be inside of you? Whoa, oh-oh, oh You are the sunshine of my life Yeah That's why I'll always stay around Mm, mm-mm, mm You are the apple of my eye Ah, ah, ah Ah Forever you'll stay in my heart Yeah, yeah, oh, oh Yeah Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do Uh huh Whoa! Yeah! Thank you so much.
I've had a lot of experience, honest! Why, I've been on the stage since I was ten, amateur contests, Gottlieb's Southern Repertory Well, well, if it isn't Little Miss David Schwimmer.
I'm sorry, I thought that I reserved this room.
So you could stare at yourself in the mirror and run lines for your Funny Girl callback? You know this isn't normal, right? Running lines in the mirror isn't a typical step in the acting process.
Actors less narcissistic than yourself actually prefer to rehearse with other actors.
Who told you about my callback? Barbra Streisand, a very close personal friend.
See, I ran into her at Target, and then in passing she just said that a NYADA freshman who looked like a troll was slated to read for producers on Wednesday.
And then I thought to myself, "Babs can't be talking about Schwimmer.
Schwimmer has her dance midterm that day.
" Please, Ms.
July Mm-hmm? I cannot miss this callback, okay? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity Right.
I wouldn't dream of you missing it.
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for me, too.
And I plan on attending that callback.
Because you have a tendency to choke under pressure, and so I'm going to be there with Barbra and her husband, James Brolin to watch you blow your first big Broadway audition.
In the meantime, I'm gonna change your midterm to tomorrow morning.
What? You heard me, David.
you will perform the solo of the second act of Balanchine's "Concerto Barocco," which is widely regarded as the most difficult ballet routine ever devised, while you're widely regarded as of having one of the puffiest morning faces of any known human.
It's gonna be a great combination.
Since this week is about wonderful things, I want to celebrate a wonderful talent.
He's new to Glee Club this year, but I think if we all help him with his confidence, he can lead us all the way to nationals.
Stop being so modest and get your butt up here, Jake! Looking back on when I Was a little nappy-headed boy Then my only worry Was for Christmas, what would be my toy Trying your best to bring the Water to your eyes hinking it might stop her From whooping your behind I wish those days Could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go I wish those days could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go 'Cause I loved them so Doo-doo, doo-doo Do, do, do, do, do-do-do Doo-doo, doo-doo Do, do, do, do-do-do Smoking cigarettes And writing something nasty On the wall Do, do, do-do-do-do You nasty boy Ba, ba, bap Teacher sends you to the principal's office Down the hall Do, do, do-do-do-do Do, da-na-na-na Ba, ba, bap You grow up and learn that Kind of thing ain't right But while you were doin' it It sure felt out of sight I wish those days Could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go I wish Those days Could Come back once more Why did those days Ever have to go Ba, ba, ba Ba, ba-dap-ba Bap-ba, da-bap Bap-ba-ba, da-bap Wow! Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba-dap-ba Oh, oh Bap-ba, da-bap Bap-ba-ba, da-bap Yeah Ba, ba, ba Ba, ba-dap-ba Hey Bap-ba, da-bap Ba, ba, ba-dap-ba Whoa, oh Do-do, do-do Do, do, do, do, do-do-do Do, do, do, do do-do do-do-do-do.
This is gonna work.
I just wish Mercedes was here to see it.
Where is she? What? Oh, you can try that, but my uncle Julius is an attorney and we will sue you right back.
No, I don't need a night to think about it.
Look, I cannot believe what just happened.
Who was that? Just my useless "producer.
" I thought you liked him.
I did.
When we were in the studio.
Whoa-oh.
I'd say let's have another go, Mercedes, but honestly, your voice was perfection.
So, let's move on with "Lover on the DL" if we can, please.
Then I got a little skeptical when we were doing the photo shoot for my CD's cover art.
Could you just lean forward a bit there, Mercedes? And drop that shoulder wrap.
Look, I'm not comfortable with that, Martin.
You look like a girl going to church or the prom.
Not like a girl who needs to move 100,000 units just to make a minor splash in this marketplace.
This is the look.
This is what I'm wearing.
All right.
You heard the lady.
She's the boss.
Now they're saying my CD is off of their release schedule until I agree to another photo shoot.
One showing more skin.
What? Screw him.
Oh, and he said he'd be happy to use another girl's picture.
On your CD? The one that you are singing on? Oh, hell to the no.
They don't want me.
They just want my voice, not my whole person.
You know, it's crazy, guys.
I'm going to be dealing with this the rest of my career.
Everyone is gonna want me to look like Beyoncé, and no one is gonna be satisfied with me, Mercedes Jones.
And they're crazy, and you don't want to be in business with people like that.
You're not actually considering it, are you? I've been working on this album for a year.
I need it to come out.
Look, I'm sorry, guys.
I don't what I'm gonna do, but I need to talk to my mom about this hot mess.
Mom, I'm home.
Hi, Artie.
Yeah, hey, Artie.
Guess I beat you here, and I guess I beat you to telling your mom about your good news.
Honey, why would you hide something like that from me? So much for your lies.
Your mom's completely on board with you going to Brooklyn Film Academy, by the way.
I thought you were a lot of things, but I didn't peg you for a wuss.
I guess you two have a lot to talk about.
All right, why would you tell people that I'm afraid to let you go to New York? Because I'm afraid to go, okay? I just thought it'd be easier to blame it on you.
Well, you've never been afraid of anything in your life.
Because my life has been pretty sheltered.
Because you built that ramp that I just rolled down so I could get in the living room.
Because you converted the den into my bedroom so I didn't have to go upstairs.
Because you built that bathroom add-on Artie, you did those things.
They were all your suggestions.
I didn't know how to handle your needs.
So you adapted and you will adapt in New York.
So what's the real reason you don't want to go? I don't want to leave you alone.
Ever since the accident, you've devoted every spare moment to taking care of me.
And it just feels selfish that the thanks I give is packing up and leaving.
Oh, honey, that's exactly what I want.
You have been dreaming about making movies since you were a kid.
You're going.
I love you.
I love you, too.
And if you ever imply again that I'm an old hag I'm gonna tip you over.
Right.
Going to New York.
I don't know what to say, Schwimmer, I'm in a hell of a mood today.
So when you do inevitably faceflop like a ragdoll, at least, I don't know, try to make me laugh.
You know what? You've been wrong about me all year, and you're gonna be wrong about me again.
What's this? This is your midterm.
I don't understand.
This is NYADA.
We are the best of the best, and make no mistake, will crush you to get the role ourselves.
But we are also family, we get through it together, and we celebrate each other when there's big news.
And this is big news.
You've danced your way through the fire all year, and you're still standing tall.
So we are gonna get you through this midterm so you can go kick some NYADA ass at your first big Broadway callback! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, out of sight Baby, everything is all right Uptight, out of sight I'm a poor man's son from across the railroad track The only shirt I own is hanging on my back But I'm the envy of every single guy Since I'm the apple of my girl's eye When we go out stepping on the town for a while My money's low and my suit's out of style But it's all right if my clothes aren't new Out of sight, because my heart is true She says, "Baby, everything is all right " Uptight, out of sight" Baby, everything is all right Uptight, clean out of sight Whoo whoo-oo-oo Whoo-oo-oo She's a pearl of a girl I guess that's what you might say I guess her folks brought her up that way The right side of the tracks, she was born and raised In a great big old house, full of butlers and maids She says, "Baby, everything is all right " Uptight, clean out of sight" Whoo! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, clean out of sight Whoo! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, ah-ha-ha-ha, yeah Whoo! Baby, everything is all right Uptight, way out of sight Baby! Oh, my God, I was so surprise.
All right, everyone.
Ah, all right.
Sit down.
So, today's lesson Well, I was gonna say "truth," but it's about this crazy-ass business that a lot of us want to get into.
If you're gonna tell us to not even try 'cause it's too hard No, no, I'm just saying be ready.
You know, when I graduated, a producer said he wanted to do a CD of my music, which, oh, my God, that's been my dream since before I even sat in this room.
Turns out, he only wanted to do that on his terms.
So I had a choice to make: I could do it his way and get there a lot faster, or I could do it my way, and maybe never, never even make it.
So I talked go my parents and my friends, and I made a decision.
It's my voice, Martin.
Those are my songs.
They tell my story.
I'm not gonna spend all this time working on my truth, and then have you slap something that doesn't even represent the real me on its cover.
So, I don't have a record deal anymore, but I do have a record, which I'll be giving to all of you, and selling at a table in front of my church and out of my car, and on Amazon, so, whatever happens, at least I was true to myself.
And you will have gotten there by taking and you know it's coming the higher ground.
Hit it! Ooh, child this is happiness.
People keep on learnin' Soldiers keep on warrin' World keep on turnin' 'Cause it won't be too long Oh, no No-oh, oh-oh I'm so darn glad he let me try it again 'Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then Gonna keep on tryin' Till I reach the highest ground Oh, oh-, whoa-oh, oh-oh, yeah Lovers keep on lovin' Believers keep on believin', yeah Sleepers just stop sleepin' 'Cause it won't be too long Oh, no Yeah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah I'm so darn glad he let me try it again 'Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then Gonna keep on tryin' Till I reach my highest ground Yeah, ah-ah, yeah Oh Till I reach my highest ground Oh, yeah, no God is gonna show you higher ground.
Oh, she's back! She's back! Oh, thank you, everybody.
Anderson, you wanted to see me? You're not going to sing to me, too, are you? I just wanted to give you this.
You can open it.
I thought maybe you could wear it at work to show support for gay marriage.
Oh, it's really sweet of you.
Gay rights has been my top issue, even though it makes me wildly unpopular with my distinguished colleagues.
They're on the wrong side of history, so screw 'em.
I am so glad that you feel that way, because assuming that we legally can, um, I wanted to formally ask for your permission to ask Kurt to marry me.
You kidding, or you nuts? Kurt is my soul mate.
I know that I've hurt him badly, but I also know that if I want to get him back, I have to do something bold.
Blaine, it means a lot to me that you love Kurt, and you know, you've been like family to me So, you' saying that you're okay with me asking for his hand? Oh, of course not.
No, you're still kids.
Did you learn anything from Finn and Rachel? They are completely different.
Completely different.
I don't think that you understand how it feels to finally be able to legally get married.
And you don't really get what it is to be married.
Straight, gay, whatever.
It's not the same as living together.
Blaine, listen, let's sit down for a second.
Seriously, come here.
Look, I can't tell you why, but something happens when you exchange vows.
It's a big deal.
It's why getting divorce is so much harder than breaking up.
There's just a really big difference between marrying a person and marrying an idea.
What if he meets someone else? You think you two were meant to be? Yes.
Do you think you two have a true love? Yes! Then stop worrying.
I got to go.
Thanks for the pin.
Sure.
Hey it's gonna be okay.
How do you know that, though? When two people love each other like you two do everything works out.
Yes.
All right, let's review.
What are y'all gonna do at regionals? Riff, run and grunt! Emote! Commit! Step up to the plate and embrace our talent.
And just like my boo Miss Mercedes Jones, we're gonna treat every note we sing and every breath we take with a little something-something we in the business of show simply call "passion.
" And passion can be a scary thing, but we shouldn't run or hide from it because passion is it's wonderful, yo.
Auditorium, I got a little jam I'm gonna sing for all y'alls! And you best believe it's gonna be sung with say what?! Passion! Yes! Thank you.
Yes! What's that? It's a gift.
I got it at the Broadway Flea Market.
It is Debbie Allen's original cane from Fame the movie.
Hmm.
I wanted to thank you for what you did.
The number? That's NYADA tradition.
We do that when one of the tribe gets a Broadway audition.
Not the number.
I wanted to thank you for everything that you've done for me this year.
So thank you.
I've busted your ass since September.
You made me a better dancer.
And that's why I came to NYADA, to learn and be challenged, and to work with the best of the best.
I saw something in you.
That first day, and I thought to myself, "This one's special.
This one might make it.
" And that's why I'm so relentless.
Even the whole Brody thing? Well, that was because of his abs.
What? But yours are so much better.
When's your callback? Oh, it's next week.
I am so nervous, Miss July.
I've never wanted anything more in my whole life.
You're gonna get it.
I know you will, Rachel.
What's up? This is going to take a lot of courage, considering our, um, complicated history, and all the emotions involved, so um, I'm-I'm just gonna say it.
Go ahead, you get kind of cute when you get nervous.
Hmm I wanted to ask you if well, will you maybe s-stick around for regionals? Oh! Oh, yeah, of course.
Yeah, Mercedes and I already talked about it.
We want to stick around and root you guys on at the competition.
Yeah, we wouldn't miss it for the world.
Great.
Yeah.
You know I would've said yes.
Right? I know What a wonderful, wonderful week.
And with you in it, a wonderful life.
For once in my life I have someone who needs me Someone I've needed so long For once unafraid I can go where life leads me Somehow I know I'll be strong For once I can touch What my heart used to dream of Long before I knew Whoa-oh Someone warm like you Would make my dreams come true Yeah, yeah, yeah For once in my life For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me Not like it's hurt me before Not like it's hurt before For once I have something I know won't desert me I'm not alone anymore I'm not alone anymore For once I can say This is mine you can't take it As long as I know I have love I can make it For oe in my life I have someone who needs me Someone who needs me Ha, ha, hey, yeah Someone who needs me Oh, baby, love, for once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me Not like it's hurt me before Not like it's hurt before For once I have something I know won't desert me I'm not alone anymore I'm not alone anymore For once I can say This is mine you can't take it As long as I know I have love I can make it For once in my life I have someone who needs me Someone who needs me Oh For once in my life Someone who needs me Yeah Somebody that needs me Someone who needs me Ooh, baby For once in my life Someone who needs me Oh, baby, for once in my life.