Buffy the Vampire Slayer s04e22 Episode Script

The lnitiative created this and they can't stop it.
But we will.
Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": The power ofthe Slayer and all who wield it.
Last to ancient first, we invoke thee.
Make us mind and heart and spiritjoin.
- Spiritus: spirit.
- Animus: heart.
- Sophus: mind.
- And manus: the hand.
You could never hope to grasp the source of our power.
Are you sure you'll be all right? I can be there in the morning.
It's just a debriefing.
I won't disappear and they're not pinning anything on me.
Graham and the guys are testifying I'm the reason they're alive.
I might actually get an honourable discharge.
- In return for your silence, no doubt.
- Oh, yeah.
Having the scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs is an advantage.
It's like you're blackmailing the government.
In a patriotic way.
I'll call you when it's over.
Dinner is served.
And my very own recipe.
You pushed the button on the microwave that says popcorn? Actually, I pushed defrost, but Joyce was there in the clinch.
Well, you guys have fun tonight.
- It was very nice meeting you.
- It was nice meeting you finally.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Did you notice how pointedly I said finally? - No.
Let the vidfest begin.
- You sure you won'tjoin us? - No, you guys have your fun.
I'm tired.
I can't believe you're not exhausted.
Have you slept since? - Still feel a little bit too wired.
- Yeah, that spell was powerful.
- Don't think I could sleep.
- Well, we got plenty of vid.
And I'm putting in a pre-emptive bid for Apocalypse Now? Did you get anything less Heart-of-Darknessy? It's a gay romp! It's the feel-good movie ofwhatever year it was.
- What else? - Don't worry.
Got plenty of chick and British-guy flicks.
These puppies should last us all night.
I think it's strange.
I mean, I think I should worry that we haven't found her a name.
Who? Miss Kitty? You'd think she'd let us know her name by now.
She will.
She's not all grown yet.
You're not worried? I never worry here.
I'm safe here.
You don't know everything about me.
Have you told me your real name? You know that.
They will find out, you know.
About you.
I don't have time to think about that.
You know I have all this homework to finish.
- Are you gonna finish in time for class? - I can be late.
But you've never taken drama before.
You might miss something important.
I don't wanna leave here.
Why not? It's so bright.
And there's something out there.
- Hey! - Hey, guys.
Heard you're taking drama.
- It's a tough course.
- You took it? - I've been here for ever.
- So what you been doing? - Doing spells? She does spells with Tara.
- Yeah, I heard about that.
I'm gonna be late.
Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell, and then I do a spell by myself.
Isn't this exciting? Our first production! I can't wait till our scene! I love you! - Don't step on my cues.
- Production? Oh, my God! The place is packed.
Everybody's here.
Your family's in the front row.
They look angry.
- There's a production? - Somebody's got stage fright.
Isn't this the first class? Well, you showed up late, or you'd have a better part.
I'm Cowboy Guy.
Your costume is perfect.
Nobody's gonna know the truth.
You know, about you.
- Costume? - You're already in character.
I should've done that! But how come I was given to understand that a drama class would have, you know, drama class.
- We haven't even rehearsed! - Maybe some people haven't.
I showed up on time, so I got to be Cowboy Guy! I just think it's really early to be putting on a play.
I don't even know what It isn't Madame Butterfly, is it? I have a problem with opera.
All right, everyone! Pay attention! In just a few moments, that curtain is going to open on our very first production.
Everyone Willow's ever met is in that audience, including all of us.
That means we have to be perfect.
Stay in character, remember your lines, and energy, energy in the musical numbers! - Did anyone see that? - Acting is about hiding.
The audience wants to find you, strip you naked and eat you alive, so hide.
Stop that! Now, costumes, sets, the things that you, you know You hold them, you touch them, use them.
- Props? - No.
- Props? - Yes! It's all about subterfuge.
That's very annoying.
Now, go on out there, lie like dogs and have a wonderful time.
Ifwe stay in focus, keep our heads, and ifWillow doesn't step on cues, this'll be the best production of Death ofa Salesman we've done.
Stop it! Good luck, everyone! Break a leg! I've made a little space for the cheese slices.
- Things aren't going very well.
- No! This drama class is just They're not doing things in the proper way.
I'm in a play and my whole family's out there.
Why is there a cowboy in Death ofa Salesman anyway? You don't understand yet, do you? - Is there something following me? - Yes.
Well, what should I do? The play's gonna start soon and I don't even know my lines.
The play's already started.
That's not the point.
Why, hello, little lady.
Can I hold those milk pails for you? Why, thank you.
But they're not very heavy.
Why have you come to our lonely small town, which has no post office and very few exports? I've come looking for a man.
A salesman.
Everyone's starting to wonder about you.
The real you.
Ifthey find out, they'll punish you.
I can't help you with that.
What's after me? ls it something I was supposed to do? - Was I supposed to? - Shh! What was that? What else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes! You and your friends, your whole sex.
Throw 'em in the sea for all I care! Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles.
Men groping and spitting, all groin, no brain, three billion ofyou passing around the same worn-out urge.
Men! With your sales! Tara? Tara, this really isn't Will! - Buffy! Oh, God.
- Come on.
Stay low.
- What did it look like? - I don't know.
- I don't know what's after me.
- You must have done something.
No.
I never do anything.
I'm very seldom naughty.
I just came to class, and the play was starting.
The play is long over.
Why are you still in costume? OK, still having to explain, wearing this is just my outfit.
Willow, everybody already knows.
Take it off.
No.
I need it.
For God's sake, just take it off! That's better.
It's much more realistic.
See? ls everybody very clear on this now? Oh, my God, it's like a tragedy.
I tried to warn you.
It's exactly like a Greek tragedy.
There should only be Greeks.
My book report.
This summer I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
Oh, who cares! This book has many themes.
Help! Help! Help me! Help me! I'm awake.
I'm good.
- Did I miss anything? - Nothing much at all really.
Bunch of massacring.
We gotta keep going, men.
We gotta take thathill.
Damn this war! I have to say, I really feel that Apocalypse Now is overrated.
No, no.
It gets better.
- Men? - I remember that it gets better.
Oh, my God.
What's happened to mymen? - Want some corn? - Butter flavour? - New-car smell.
- Cool! - What's her deal? - Big faker.
I'm beginning to understand this now.
It's all about the journey, isn't it? Thanks for making me have to pee.
- You don't need any help with that, right? - I got a system.
Hey.
Hey, Joyce Mrs Summers.
We're not making too much noise down there? Oh, no.
Anyway, they all left a while ago.
Oh, I should probably go catch up.
- Heard that before.
- I move pretty fast.
- You know, a man's always after - Conquest? I'm a conquistador.
You sure it isn't comfort? I'm a comfortador also.
I do know the difference.
I've learned about boys.
That's cool about you.
It's very late.
Would you like to rest for a while? Yeah.
I'd like you.
I'm just gonna go to the bathroom first.
Don't get lost.
OK, I'm gonna find another bathroom.
I didn't order any vampires.
That's not the way out.
Hey, there you are.
Are you sure it's us you were looking for? Giles here is gonna teach me to be a watcher.
Says I got the stuff.
- Spike's like a son to me.
- That's good.
I was into that for a while, but I got other stuff going on.
You gotta have something.
Gotta be with moving forward.
Like a shark.
Like a shark with feet and much less fins.
- And on land.
- Very good! Buffy, are you sure you wanna play there? - It's a pretty big sandbox.
- I'm OK.
It's not coming for me yet.
I just mean you can't protect yourself from some stuff.
- I'm way ahead ofyou, big brother.
- Brother? Come on, put your back into it! A watcher scoffs at gravity.
Do you know where you're going? I've been thinking about getting back into vengeance.
- Is that right? - Well, you know how I miss it.
I'm so at loose ends since I quit.
I think this is going to be a very big year for vengeance.
But isn't vengeance kind of vengeful? - You don't want me to have a hobby.
- Not a vengeance hobby, no.
It's dangerous.
People can't do anything they want.
Society has rules and borders and an end zone.
It doesn't matter if Do you mind? I'm talking to my demon.
- Sorry.
- We just think you're really interesting.
- Oh, I'm going places.
- I'm way ahead ofyou.
Is that right? Watch this.
Do you wanna come in the back with us? Oh, go on.
- I don't have to.
- I'll be fine.
I think I've figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.
Girls? I know what's up there! These will not protect you.
Giles! - Xander, what are you doing here? - What's after me? It's because ofwhat we did, I know that.
What we did? The others have gone on ahead.
Now, listen very carefully.
Your life may depend on what I'm about to tell you.
You need What? Go where? I don't understand.
Honey, I don't I can't hear you.
Wait! Where are we going? Where? Hey! Let go! Hey! Where are you from, Harris? Well, the basement, mostly.
Were you born there? Possibly.
I walked by your guidance counsellor's office one time.
A bunch ofyou were sitting there, waiting to be shepherded.
I remember it smelled like dead flowers.
Like decay.
Then it hit me.
The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.
You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.
Where are you heading? Well, I'm supposed to meet Tara and Willow.
And possibly Buffy's mom.
Your time is running out.
No, I'm just trying to get away.
There's something I can't fight.
Are you a soldier? I'm a comfortador.
You're neither.
You're a whipping boy, raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.
I'm getting a cramp.
- Giles, it's here! - This is more serious than we thought.
- I can fight anything, right? - Maybe we should slap her.
Buffy? That's not the way out.
What the hell is wrong with you? You won't come upstairs? What are you, ashamed of us? - Your mother's crying her guts out! - You don't understand.
No.
You don't understand.
The line ends here with us.
And you're not gonna change that.
You haven't got the heart.
You have to stop thinking.
Let it wash over you.
Don't you think it's old-fashioned? This is the way women and men have behaved since the beginning.
Before time.
Now look into the light.
Step on up, step on up! Try your luck! Come on! Come on! - We'll miss the good stuff! - Does she always want to train so badly? - She's never heard the fable about patience.
- Which one is that? The one with the fox and the less patient fox.
- Here.
I want to, I want to! - Yes, go ahead.
I am a vampire! Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect mankind.
Don't stick out your elbow.
I am a vampire! You staked me! - I haven't got any treats.
- For God's sake, Rupert, go easy on the girl.
This is my business.
Blood ofthe lamb and all that.
Now you're gonna get that all over your face.
I know you.
I know you.
Hey! Come on! You're gonna miss everything! Don't push me around.
I have a great deal to do.
I've hired myself out as an attraction.
Sideshow freak? Well, at least it's showbiz.
- What do I do with all ofthis? - You gotta make up your mind, Rupes.
What are you wasting time for? Haven't you figured it all out yet with your enormous squishy frontal lobe? I still think Buffy should have killed you.
I wear the cheese.
It does not wear me.
Honestly, you meet the most appalling sort of people.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
There's a great deal going on.
And all at once! Don't we know it.
Only at death's door over here.
Look at Xander! Got the sucking chest wound swinging.
I promised Anya I'd be there for her big night.
Now I'll be pushing up daisies, in the sense of being in the ground and fertilising the soil with decomposition.
OK.
A man walks into the office of a doctor.
He's wearing on his head - Wait, there's a duck.
Is that right? - You suck! Quiet! You'll miss the humorous conclusion.
- She's doing quite well.
- Do you know this is your fault? We have to think ofthe facts, Willow.
I'm very busy.
I have a gig myself, you know.
Something's after us.
It's like some primal, animal force.
- That used to be us.
- Don't get linear on me now, man.
And then the duck tells the doctor that there's a man that's attached to my ass.
See, it was the duck and not the man that spoke.
Rupert, you've gotta focus.
You must have some kind of explanation.
Ifwe don't know what we're fighting, I don't think we stand a chance.
It's strange It's not like anything we've faced before It seems familiar somehow Of course! The spell we cast with Buffy Must have released Some primal evil that's come back seeking I'm not sure what Willow, look through the chronicles for some reference To a warrior beast I've got to warn Buffy There's every chance she might be next And Xander, help Willow And try not to bleed on my couch, I've just had it steam-cleaned No, wait Well, that was obvious.
I know who you are.
And I can defeat you with my intellect.
I can cripple you with my thoughts.
Of course, you underestimate me.
You couldn't know.
You never had a watcher.
Buffy, wake up! Buffy, you have to wake up right away! I'm not really in charge ofthese things.
Please wake up.
Oh, please! I need my beauty sleep.
So stop it, OK? Faith and I just made that bed.
For who? I thought you were here to tell me.
The guys aren't here, are they? We were gonna hang out and watch movies.
- You lost them.
- No.
No.
I think they need me to find them.
It's so late.
That clock's completely wrong.
Here.
- I'm never gonna use those.
- You think you know.
What's to come.
What you are.
You haven't even begun.
I think I need to go find the others.
Be back before dawn.
Have you seen my friends? They wouldn'tjust disappear.
- Mom? - Oh, hi, honey! Why are you living in the walls? Oh, sweetie, no, I'm fine here.
Don't worry about me.
- It looks dirty.
- Well, it seems that way to you.
I made some lemonade and I'm learning how to play mahjong.
- You go find your friends.
- I think they might be in danger.
I'm sorry, dear! A mouse is playing with my knees.
I really don't think you should live in there.
Well, you could probably break through the wall.
- Hey, there, killer.
- Riley? You're back? I never left.
- How did the debriefing go? - I told you not to worry about that.
It went great.
They made me surgeon general.
Why didn't you come and tell me? We could have celebrated.
We're drawing up a plan for world domination.
The key element? Coffee makers that think.
World domination? ls that a good? Baby, we're the government.
It's what we do.
She's uncomfortable with certain concepts.
It's understandable.
Aggression is a natural human tendency, though you and me come by it another way.
We're not demons.
Is that a fact? Buffy, we've got important work here.
A lot offiling, giving things names.
What was yours? Before Adam? Not a man among us can remember.
The demons have escaped.
Run foryourlives.
- This could be trouble.
- We'd better make a fort.
I'll get some pillows.
Wait! I have weapons! I thought you were looking for your friends.
OK, killer.
Ifthat's the way you want it, I guess you're on your own.
I'm never gonna find them here.
Of course not.
That's the reason you came.
You're not in my dream.
I was borrowed.
- Someone has to speak for her.
- Let her speak for herself.
That's what's done in polite circles.
- Why do you follow me? - I don't.
Where are my friends? You're asking the wrong questions.
Make her speak.
I have no speech.
No name.
I live in the action of death.
The blood cry.
The penetrating wound.
I am destruction.
Absolute.
Alone.
The Slayer? The first.
I am not alone.
The Slayer does not walk in this world.
I walk.
I talk.
I shop.
I sneeze.
I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back.
There's trees in the desert since you moved out.
And I don't sleep on a bed of bones.
Now give me back my friends.
No friends! Just the kill.
We are alone! That's it.
I'm waking up.
It's over.
We don't do this any more.
Enough!