Gilmore Girls s04e22 Episode Script

Hi! Great! I'm still on my finals sleep schedule,|and, man, am I wired.
What time is it? 3:00 in the morning? I cannot tell anymore.
|Want some mac and cheese? I love mac and cheese when I can't sleep.
Cool.
Individual cheese slices.
I've been making out my résumé|so I can try to get a summer job because there is no way that I am going to swipe cafeteria cards|again next year.
My whites are done.
Do you know that the best time|to do your laundry at Yale is in the middle of the night? You've your pick of washers,|the place has just been swept and the trash is completely empty.
So what do you think? The "Stars Hollow Gazette"|needs a facts checker but Rob's Tires|is offering way more money.
I know that now is the time|to suffer for my art but I was so broke by the end of the year that I had to dip|into Paris' green-tea stash which backfired on so many levels,|I can't even tell you.
Great to have you home, hon.
I think I've got all the rooms assigned|for the test run.
- Hit me.
|- Miss Patty is in Room 1 Babbette is in 2.
|I put Taylor in 3, the corner room.
The Siegels will go in 5,|you and Rory are in 6- - Wait, what happened to 4?|-4 is taken.
- By whom?|- By friends of mine.
- Sookie and Jackson are in-|- Which friends of yours? You said I could invite friends,|did you not? - I did.
|- Okay, so I did that.
I invited two of my friends,|and I put them in Room 4 and now Room 4 is taken|with my friends as you suggested, okay? Paw-Paw and Chin Chin cannot come|to the test run.
- Why not?|- Because they are dogs, Michel.
They cannot stay home by themselves.
They get lonely|and then they eat expensive Italian things.
Then get yourself a chow-sitter because Room 4 is for human beings only.
Terrific, they're on their way up.
Tom, I'm putting Post-its|where we need paint touch-ups.
- Got it.
|- And we got that test run Saturday.
I was hoping to have some doors by then.
- I told you, the doors are coming.
|- You told me that two weeks ago.
- And I'm sure I meant it.
|- Tom! I'm going right now.
I don't understand|why you get to bring Rory and I don't get to bring my chows.
- Because I'm mad with power.
|- They are cleaner than she is.
- They are quieter than she is.
|- Stop comparing your dogs to my kid.
As much as you love Rory that is how much I love|Paw-Paw and Chin Chin.
I gave birth to her!|I carried her inside me and nine months and 26 hours later,|she came out! If I could have given birth to them myself,|I would have.
But I didn't have that choice! I think that's enough wood there, Kirk.
I've put wood in all the guest rooms|and the living room.
I must just store the rest of the cord|you bought.
Michel'll take you outside|and show you where it goes.
Outside? Do you want to expose your wood|to the elements? - We'll get a tarp.
Michel?|- Any dogs, Kirk? Dogs urinate on wood.
I hate dogs.
Going with Kirk on his rounds again, Lulu? I just love it when he looks|like the Brawny paper towel guy.
- It is a good outfit.
|- The place looks absolutely wonderful.
- When does it open?|- Two weeks but we're having a test run on Saturday.
Just a bunch of friends who'll hopefully|still be friends on Monday.
Sounds wonderful.
- You and Kirk should come.
|- Really? Sure.
I'll give you|Paw-Paw and Chin Chin's room.
- We'd love to have you.
|- We would love to come.
And I know Kirk would feel better,|being able to check up on the wood.
Kirk's lucky to have found you, Lulu.
Pretty garnish! That's some good mincing there.
|Just enough walnut.
Is that fish done?|It should be done.
Perfect.
Man, it smells great in here.
This is the best kitchen staff|I've ever had, ever! I don't know how we got them,|but they're amazing! I've got to show you this mincing.
- Seriously.
|- No, I believe you.
They seem terrific.
But, Sookie,|there are seven workers in here - and we're only budgeted for five.
|- I know.
- That's a problem.
|- Yes.
See, I hired seven,|figuring that at least two would crap out and then we'd have five.
- And?|- And none did.
- So what do we do?|- I don't know.
Maybe the test run|will break a couple of them but if no one quits, honey,|you got to fire two of them.
There are all sorts of chromosomes|missing from that man.
- Put Kirk and Lulu in Room 4.
|- You cut me? - Is that it for the rooms?|- Basically, yes.
You and Rory in 6, Luke in 7.
- Luke?|- Yes, Luke.
So is he coming? Luke is coming? - Is he not supposed to?|- No, of course he was.
He was invited quite a while ago,|before anything happened.
I mean, I didn't know he was coming,|that's all.
Okay, so, good.
Luke's in Room 7.
Lucky number seven.
|Not that it's lucky for Luke.
- I don't know what's lucky for Luke, okay?|- Look at how he chopped these onions.
I want to shove a string through them|and wear them around my neck! - That wouldn't be at all eccentric.
|- Honey, come here.
What? - What is that for?|- In all the craziness I completely forgot|that today is your wedding anniversary.
Oh, my God! - Where'd he go?|- I don't know.
- What do I do?|- I don't know! - Did I lose?|- You have no head, so probably.
This is what teenage boys are doing - instead of watching television?|- Apparently.
Seems like a lateral move.
- Are you hungry?|- I'm starving.
Your timing is perfect,|because I went to the store yesterday.
Are you kidding me?|You just got away from the floorboard life.
Boys will eat everything.
I bought vanilla-almond body lotion|the other day.
- No.
|- On chips.
Mine, by the way.
So Jess came by to see me.
You've been here 20 minutes,|and you drop this now? He just showed up at my dorm|on Saturday night.
Why? What did he say? - Well-|- Wait.
- Go.
|- I got home from this awful setup.
- The guy your grandmother got?|- That's the one.
- He was that bad?|- James Spader in "Pretty in Pink.
" You could've stopped at James Spader.
I left the pub, got back to my dorm,|and Jess was there.
- What did he want?|- He wanted me to come away with him.
- My God! What did you say?|- I said I don't know.
It was so weird.
He was just Jess.
I mean, he shows up out of nowhere|with this crazy proposal.
- It was awful.
|- It doesn't sound awful.
What are you talking about?|He bailed on me twice.
I know, but how incredibly romantic|to have this guy show up out of the blue and want to take you away with him? When I first met Jess, I thought,|"What could be better than this?" He's smart, good taste in books,|and music, so cute.
But Jess is great one minute,|and then the next As far as I know,|I could have said yes, packed my bag and when I got to the car,|he'd have changed his mind.
It's part of why he's cute.
|He's unpredictable.
I guess.
You know, when I was with Dean I always knew|that no matter what happened he would be there.
- Dean was very dependable.
|- It was more than that.
He's Well, he was so I was safe, and he was so nice to me.
- He really loved you.
|- I think I really blew it there, you know? - I didn't appreciate it.
|- Every girl has to fall for a bad boy.
It's the rule.
It's the reason so many|accountants eventually get married.
I can't believe you didn't wake me up.
- Me and what army?|- I only have so much time off.
I don't want to waste it all|sleeping till noon.
There was no waking you.
|You were completely out.
We're talking Farrah on "Letterman.
" - Hey.
|- What? Luke is coming over here.
|Pay very close attention.
- To what?|- Coffee? Sure, coffee would be great.
Coffee, hon?|Yeah, she'll have coffee.
Thanks.
- You want a minute?|- Yes, a minute would be great.
- Well?|- What? - You notice anything?|- Anything? - Anything weird, anything different?|- About Luke? Of course about Luke.
- Did you notice anything different?|- Like what? Like a vibe, an attitude.
|Did he look at me differently? - Differently than what?|- Differently than he did.
- Differently than he did when?|- Before.
- Before what?|- Before, before.
- Before, before, what?|- Rory! How on earth can you be frustrated|with me, right now? Fine.
Come here.
"What's your damage, Heather?" I think I'm dating Luke.
- What?|- I'm not sure.
- It's just a possibility.
I could be wrong.
|- But how? When? I went with him to his sister's wedding,|and it was really nice.
We had a really good time.
We laughed a lot, and we ate,|and then we danced.
- Danced? How?|- We poplocked.
Was it a fast dance, slow dance,|group dance? It was a slow dance.
|What is "group dance"? - The hustle, the hora.
|- No hustle, no hora.
It was a slow dance.
A waltz.
- Luke can waltz.
|- Luke can waltz? Luke can waltz.
Look how you just said, "Luke can waltz.
" I'm just saying, I'm surprised|that Luke can waltz.
That sounded more like "I'm surprised I have my clothes on.
" - Oh, stop.
|- What else happened? Nothing.
We spent the evening together.
We danced, he walked me home,|then he asked me to a movie.
These things individually do not add up|to dating but together, I don't know.
And there was this moment|when he walked me home where I thought I don't know.
- Did you say yes?|- When? - To the movie.
Did you say yes?|- Yes.
- That sounds like dating to me.
|- Maybe he didn't mean it as a date.
Maybe he needs to get out of the house and since I'm now one|of the women sitting home thinking, "If I could only find a man|like Aragorn," he chose me.
- Okay, this is Luke.
|- I know.
Our Luke.
The town Luke.
|We see him every day.
- He's a part of our lives.
|- I know.
Everyone will know if you're together.
|They'll know if you're not together.
- I know.
|- You can't just date Luke.
When you're with Luke, you're with Luke.
And if it doesn't work out,|it will be really bad for both of us.
How do you feel about this?|Do you want to be dating Luke? We're getting ahead of ourselves.
|I don't even know if he thinks the same.
This could be a totally innocent situation and then we've done|all this what-ifing for nothing.
Let's just go back in there|and see if anything's weird, okay? - Okay.
|- Okay.
- Is everything okay?|- Yes.
- I'll get the broom.
|- That was a little weird.
- Two radish roses for a carrot curl?|- Deal.
- You're trading garnish?|- Yes, but only because the dinner's gross.
- Very nice.
|- I don't like rabbit.
How convenient, you're not eating rabbit.
- But this is rabbit sauce.
|- It is rabbit sauce.
It is not rabbit sauce.
|Do not tell her that it's rabbit sauce.
It tastes like rabbit sauce to me.
That just shows|how much attention you give to meals that are prepared for you.
- If it isn't rabbit, then what is it?|- It's duck.
Where's that carrot curl? - I haven't seen a radish rose.
|- Never mind.
Don't eat it.
- Sriva, come get the plates.
We're done.
|- Not everyone is done.
Just bring out the dessert, please.
So, Rory, I was thinking maybe|we should go away this summer just you and me.
You should do Europe right at least once,|and this seems like the perfect time.
Oh, well, Grandma I don't know|what I'm doing this summer yet but that sounds really nice.
- And really out of the blue.
|- I agree.
- Were you going to mention this to me?|- I just did.
No, I mean before you opened the peanuts.
The plans aren't made, Lorelai.
|It was just an idea.
If Rory doesn't want to go,|then Rory doesn't have to go.
Rory didn't say she didn't want to go.
That's right,|Rory's mother was just marveling at the "look over here" approach|to the invitation.
- You okay, Dad?|- I'm fine.
When is dessert? - I have work to do.
|- It's coming as quickly as the woman can spoon fruit|over ice cream.
Clearly, she has carpal tunnel|or some other modern disease which is slowing her down.
If she's going too slow for you why don't you just go|into the kitchen and give her a hand? I forgot to mention, we're doing a test run|at the Inn this weekend.
- What?|- Yeah.
We're inviting friends|to spend the weekend just to make sure we're ready to open.
- That sounds sensible.
|- You know what would be great? - If the two of you came.
|- What? For the weekend.
I've been working|toward this goal for, my God - what is it, Rory, now, 20 years?|- Twenty years.
Twenty years, wow.
|So, basically, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to me in my life,|except for Rory being born.
And I'm sure my parents wouldn't want|to miss it.
I mean,|unless there's some specific reason why you guys can't come,|both of you, together.
No? Okay, good.
So you'll be there.
Fantastic.
Isn't that great, Rory? Grandma and Grandpa are coming|to the test run together.
Lorelai- Dad, seriously, you have no idea|how much this means to me.
We wouldn't miss it for the world.
So inviting them to stay|in the Inn is going to do what? I'm not inviting them to stay in the Inn.
I'm inviting them to the bungalow,|150 feet away from the Inn.
- Diabolical.
|- I'm going to lock those two in a room and they are coming out reconciled|or in a body bag.
And, believe me, I'm fine either way.
Look who died and made you Hayley Mills.
Hey, Kirk, just sit- - We need to talk.
|- Where are you going? - Get out of my apartment.
|- This place is small.
- I always pictured you in a bigger place.
|- Don't picture me in any place, okay, Kirk? You have nice windows, though.
|I don't have windows.
My room at my mom's house|used to be a bomb shelter.
It's very cold but great for racquetball.
- Kirk, what do you want?|- I need to talk to you.
- You're the only one I can confide in.
|- Goody.
Lorelai invited Lulu and me|to the test run of the Inn.
Lulu is very excited about the invitation.
|It's all she talks about.
A romantic weekend at the Inn with me.
Anyhow, I'm a little concerned|about this invitation because Lulu and I|have never spent the night together.
- This is not a comfortable area for me.
|- We've had sex, lots and lots of sex.
And this is even more uncomfortable.
We just haven't actually|spent the night together.
- Why not?|- I have night terrors.
- Night terrors?|- Basically, I freak out at beddy-bye.
About an hour after I fall asleep,|I wake up in panic.
Everything around me seems threatening,|scary, out to get me.
Two nights ago, I was suddenly gripped|with the overwhelming feeling that there was an assassin in my house.
I had to get out of the room|before he got me.
So I jumped out of bed - and locked my pillow in the bathroom.
|- Why? - Because it was a bomb.
|- Of course.
After neutralizing my pillow,|I ran up the stairs climbed out the bathroom window scaled the trellis|up the side of the house and hid on the roof, completely naked.
The worst part of night terrors is it always ends up with me|on top of the roof completely naked or running down the street|completely naked or swimming in the community-center|pool completely naked.
- That was the time I thought I was on fire.
|- That's terrible.
I'm used to it now,|so it's kind of second nature to me, but - Lulu|- Right, Lulu.
How is she going to take it? I mean, I could scare her|or ninja-kick her and lock her up with a pillow.
I think I love her, Luke.
|And I haven't even told her that I love her.
I spelled it out|in chocolate-covered Oreos once but she was really hungry,|and I'm not sure if she read it first.
I can't assault her|before I tell her I love her.
- What do you want me to do about it?|- I called the Dragonfly and had them put me and Lulu|in the room right next to yours.
That way, if you hear anything,|screaming or Russian you can come in and pull me off of Lulu.
|Unless, when you come in it looks like you shouldn't pull me|off of Lulu.
- Kirk.
|- You can use your judgment on that one.
- Kirk, I don't know about this.
|- Please! This weekend means so much to her.
- I can't tell her we're not going.
|- Fine.
Thank you, Luke.
Remember, anything weird,|just jump on in.
I got it, Kirk.
Just don't touch my bottom,|or I'll think you have a machete.
If you want this to happen do not use the word "bottom"|with me again, Kirk.
- Right.
|- See you later.
- Luke?|- What, Kirk? What kind of clothes are you bringing? My kitchen staff's great.
|All seven of them! Hang in there, Sookie.
If only one would suck,|maybe it would rub off on the rest.
Plenty of sucking potential's|still out there.
Have some faith.
Tom, where are my doors? - They were supposed to be here by now.
|- I know.
They took a wrong turn|and headed to Woodbridge.
- What?|- Relax, I'm trying to track them down.
Tom, guests are showing up here|any second.
They have no doors.
People will have to get very friendly,|very quickly.
I got the guy on the phone.
|I'll get right back to you.
Tom? I've changed my mind.
|I want to be a ballerina.
Good timing.
We don't have doors,|and every single person I hired is fantastic.
- We're doomed.
|- The guests are arriving.
- I repeat, the guests are arriving.
|- No, Michel, we still don't have doors.
- Can you do anything to stall them?|- No.
I'm bringing them up now.
If he was on my kitchen staff,|we'd be home free by now.
- I got them.
|- Doors, you got the doors? They're on their way up.
|My guys will be standing by to get them.
- I'm loving you like a $2 whore.
|- Terrific.
I'll tell the wife.
Everybody, the doors are on the way,|guests are coming.
Everybody outside to greet them.
|It's showtime.
Let's go! Everyone, remember,|these people are not our friends.
They are customers.
Just relax, don't rush,|and don't kill anybody.
Here they come! Look at the flowers! Hi, everyone.
|Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn.
- Will you look at this place.
|- It's a paradise.
Lorelai, the babies that are going|to be conceived on this property! Are those horses?|Babbette, look at the horses.
That's Cletus and Desdemona,|and if anyone would like to go for a ride Michel can set it up for you.
The ride up here was very dusty, Lorelai.
You should warn people|not to wear their white pants upon arrival.
- I will do that, Taylor.
|- So do I bring my own bags or- No, you don't.
|Eric, Jeremy, Sam, these bags, please.
- The blue one has breakables.
|- Okay, they're unloading them in the back.
I already sent Dean in|to start putting them up.
Great.
Thank you, Tom.
- I'll be right back.
|- Make sure the keys are ready.
- Hey, there, you two.
Good to see you.
|- I am so excited to be here.
- Thank you so much for the invitation.
|- You're welcome, have a good time.
Oh, horses.
- Is Luke here yet?|- No, he's not, Kirk.
But he's coming, right?|And he'll be here before I go to sleep? - I have no idea, Kirk.
Why?|- It's a guy thing.
Hi.
Hey.
I have to get this upstairs.
- Can't we talk?|- What about? - He didn't stay.
|- Yeah, I don't care.
- I told him to go.
He went.
He's gone.
|- Well, great.
- Why are you so mad?|- I'm not mad.
I'm working.
I left you three messages.
|You didn't answer any of them.
You blew me off at Luke's today.
|You won't look me in the eye.
I have to go.
- I told him to leave.
|- You told me to leave, also.
I told you to leave|so I could tell him to leave.
- That makes sense.
|- It does make sense, Dean.
I didn't ask him to come.
|I did ask you to come, remember? I know.
I just What? Why are you so mad? I thought you were back with him|or something.
- No, I'm not back with him.
|- I thought you were.
Well, I'm not.
But even if I was back with him why would it bother you so much? - I don't like him.
|- Okay.
And I don't want you with him.
Right.
Because he doesn't treat me right, right? Right.
And you wouldn't want me|to be with someone who doesn't treat me right,|because you're my friend, right? Right.
I'm your friend.
Dean! How we doing with those doors? We're doing fine, Tom.
There you go, Freddy.
You're in Room 9.
|Just follow your door.
Honey, this place is spectacular.
Thanks, Patty.
You're in Room 1.
|I hope you like it.
I just know|everything's going to be perfect.
There is nothing that you could do|that I wouldn't love.
No, that is not the point here.
|This is a test run.
We need to work out all the kinks|this weekend so they don't happen again.
|We need your feedback and especially your criticism.
- All right, I promise to be a pain.
|- I appreciate that.
Just follow your door to your room.
After you, sweetheart.
You can count on me|for my feedback, Lorelai.
I promise you that.
In fact, I've already|got 14 complaints written down.
Most of them are small infractions,|but it's the little things, the details that distinguish the Barbra Streisands|from the Rosalyn Kinds.
Absolutely, Taylor.
I even took it upon myself|to bring my own comment cards just in case you didn't think|to supply them.
We did supply comment cards,|but I'm sure yours are even better.
That was a very polite response.
|I'm writing that down.
Excuse me, I need some stuff taken|out of my room.
What stuff? The lamp, the bronze bookends,|the books, the shoehorns, the sewing kit.
- Are the paintings bolted to the walls?|- Yes.
Bring some pliers|in case simple yanking doesn't do it.
I am not yanking the pictures off the wall.
Apparently, you've never been in love.
There you go, Room 8.
|Just follow your door.
You know,|this door thing is actually pretty fun.
Michel said to fill in for him.
Kirk has him taking the light bulbs|out of the sconces.
What? Mom, Dad! Look, Rory, there are your grandparents|and everything they own.
You didn't tell us what attire was required,|so I had to pack everything.
Hi, Grandma, Grandpa.
|We're so glad you could come.
We're delighted to be here.
|May we have our key? - I'm tired from the drive.
|- It takes 20 minutes to get here.
- It felt longer.
|- Which way do we go, upstairs? No, Mom.
You and Dad aren't upstairs.
|You're in our nicest room.
Guys, will you take my parents|to Room 12? - The boys will take you there.
|- Where are they going? - Just follow them, Mom.
|- They're heading outside.
Yes.
Your room has its own entrance,|for privacy.
- Fine.
We'll see you later, Rory.
|- Bye.
You are the bad seed.
"I have the prettiest mother.
|Everybody thinks so.
" Hi.
You came.
Sure.
I RSVP'd.
Here, these are for you,|a little congratulations.
Oh, my God, they're beautiful.
|Thank you.
I was Okay, so we should get you all checked in.
And that's over there.
- You okay?|- God, yeah.
Me? I'm totally fine.
- Lorelai!|- God.
I'm fine.
No problem.
That was your door,|so you could just follow that on up and we'll see you at dinner.
Rory? - Are you sure you're okay?|- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's like the third time I did that today.
It's a bit.
|We're going to be the Comedy Inn.
We finally found our theme.
|So you got your key and bye-bye.
I've locked you in before,|and I will do it again.
- How's it going?|- It's going very well.
- Very, very well.
|- Jackson, I love the shirt.
Isn't it great?|It's an anniversary gift from Sookie.
Sweet, these two kids.
I got to tell you,|I was completely surprised.
I figured, with the test run,|she'd be way too busy to remember.
What are you talking about? Sookie could never forget|her Mushroom Man.
- I'd love her to forget that nickname.
|- The food's great, Mom.
Yes, it is great.
Although, I know the chef,|so I'm a little biased.
You're a little biased.
|I'm sleeping with her.
- You also grew the vegetables.
|- I did.
I can't be trusted at all.
Tom, I have never seen you|in a suit before.
Really? Because I'm more a suit guy|than anything else.
- I'm going to make the rounds.
|- We'll be here.
Hi.
How is everything this evening? - Oh, my God, these robes!|- What are they made of? Because I am never getting dressed again.
- How are you doing?|- I'm just staring at my plate.
He's shy.
My bathrobe slipped earlier,|and his poor little heart couldn't take it.
- He's been staring at his salad ever since.
|- I like salad.
- Patty, you want to try my fish?|- Fish has too much mercury.
- For this fish, you'll eat the mercury.
|- Oh, yeah? Okay, you two, go easy on him now.
- We'll try.
|- I'm sorry, Derek.
- You okay?|- There's a debate going on about that.
- We're all set up.
|- Stop whispering in my ear, Kirk.
- I'm just saying-|- You're still doing it, Kirk.
- Can I get you anything, Mr.
Doose?|- Another pen would be nice.
- You've enough paper?|- Yeah, just a pen will be fine.
Coming right up.
- Taylor, how is he?|- Who? The kid, Derek.
He's rude, slow, stupid.
No, actually,|he's been an excellent waiter all evening.
Crap.
I have no need of salad in my life ever,|but this is amazing.
He's great.
They're all great.
What happened|to the disenfranchised youth of America? Where did all these worker bees|come from? Cheer up, Sookie.
|The food's going over like gangbusters.
- Yeah.
|- I went to check on the backup generators.
- Everything is fine.
|- And the dinner's going great.
Everyone's settled, the doors are up.
- Everyone seems happy.
|- They do, don't they? This is gonna work.
- What are you doing here?|- The place looks great.
Thank you.
What are you doing here? - We need to talk.
|- Not now, we don't.
- I stayed away.
I gave you space.
|- You gave me space? We broke up.
I didn't look at it that way.
|To me it was a cooling-off period.
How very revisionist of you.
|Jason, I'm working.
- Ten minutes.
|- No! Lorelai, we were doing great.
Until you decided to sue my father,|yeah, we rocked.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
I am not leaving.
Jason, please,|I have an inn full of people here.
- Okay.
One room, please.
|- What? I would like a room.
How much is a room? Jason, you can't stay here.
|Every room is taken.
Please go.
I will call you on Monday.
I can't wait.
Gives you too much time|to talk yourself out of trying.
First I'd have|to talk myself into trying again.
- So let's make it Tuesday.
|- I'll wait.
I won't be done for two days.
- I'll wait till you take a break.
|- No break for two days.
This is a terrible job.
I would like a word with your boss.
|Who is above you? Jason, I can't do this.
Lorelai, I've been sitting|in my apartment for two weeks staring at a dead plant that you gave me.
I know we can work this out,|and I am not leaving until we do.
- Oh, boy.
|- Just go about your business and when you're ready to talk,|I will be here.
Look, "Above Connecticut.
"|I've been looking for that.
- Kirk, I'm getting tired.
|- You are? - Would you mind if we went to bed?|- No, that's fine.
You're tired.
So, then, let's go upstairs and go to bed! Okay.
Good night, everyone.
I'm right behind you.
I think Kirk wants you to go upstairs|and make love to him.
Will you just roll? - How's it going here?|- She's letting me win.
It's very annoying.
How's it going with you? We locked the kitchen crew|in with Michel for 20 minutes and it backfired a little.
Six of them quit, and we have|to start hiring again tomorrow.
When you're done here,|would you run home and grab some CDs? I forgot to have them|in case one of the guests - wants to play something.
|- Sure, no problem.
You do notice that Jason's sitting|in the other room, right? - Yeah, I'm handling it.
|- Okay.
- Here.
|- What's this? You've been sitting there all night.
|You must be hungry.
Eat something.
Thanks.
Here, sit and have dinner with me.
|I'll feed you.
It'll be adorable.
- How much longer are you going to stay?|- Just long enough to fix everything|that went wrong between us.
Luckily, I'm unemployed.
|I have plenty of time.
You're very stubborn.
I just refuse to lose the things|that are important to me.
Full house!|Oh, my God, I'm kicking your ass! - Babbette, who's that?|- Who's what? That's Jason Stiles.
He was Lorelai's boyfriend|for the last six months.
- Yeah?|- Yeah.
Not exactly who I pictured her with,|but he does have a very nice car.
Anyhow, they were hiding|their relationship from her parents because Jason|was her father's business partner.
Of course, the parents found out about it,|and all hell broke loose.
- Jason wound up suing Lorelai's father.
|- They still together? I don't know.
I thought they broke up but he's here, so maybe I could ask Patty for you, if you want.
|Sometimes she gets the news first 'cause her phone line|picks up other people's conversations.
Something about proximity|to the power lines.
I tell you, location, location, location.
- I have to get back to work.
|- Go.
I'm fine.
I'm comfortable.
I have food, Sookie brought me wine and I've moved on|to "Gnomes of the West.
" I'll have someone bring you out|some dessert.
- Lorelai Gilmore, why would you do that?|- Do what? You stuck your father and me out|in that godforsaken cabin! It's the honeymoon suite.
One room, no access to the main building,|pitch-black at night.
- It's romantic.
|- No television, no radio.
There is a television.
It's in the cabinet- - And then the room service.
|- Roast beef and champagne.
The one chance to get out of there away from each other,|and you yank it away! Why would you want|to get away from each other? Are you and Dad fighting? Stop it! You know! You know your father|and I are separated and you brought us here|and stuck us in the woods to stare at each other for 48 hours! What was I to do?|You weren't saying anything.
Dad wasn't saying anything.
Of all the cruel, insensitive- How was I supposed to know|I was supposed to know? - You did know!|- But you didn't want me to know.
- Of course, I didn't want you to know.
|- Exactly.
- Exactly, what?|- You didn't want me to know, so I didn't - and you're mad I didn't know?|- Because you knew.
But I wasn't supposed to know,|so I acted like I didn't know! And you forced your father and me|to come here tonight under pretense of family obligation.
Hello, that's the Gilmore way.
I won't stay out|in that cabin one more second.
- I demand a room in here.
|- We don't have any rooms in here.
- They're all taken.
|- Then bump someone.
Can't you and Dad just talk about- No, you stop it right now!|This is none of your business.
What happened? Was it Floyd's lawsuit? Lorelai, just give me a room.
- I don't have a room, Mom.
|- You don't have a room for your mother? I have a room for my mother.
|It's the room my mother's in.
That's not a room.
That's a practical joke.
No, it was a chance for you and Dad|to do something special.
Fine.
If you won't find me another room,|then I'll just sit in there until tomorrow.
- Jason.
|- Emily.
- Do you have a room?|- No, Mom, he doesn't.
He just showed up, because, apparently it's Blake Edwards night at the Dragonfly.
Emily.
- Jason.
|- Richard.
He has a room.
- Are you trying to kill us?|- Oh, my God.
I packed our things.
I think it's time to go.
- I hope you had your fun.
|- Yeah, it's been a blast.
Can I get their room? - How did you know I was here?|- Your mom said she sent you on an errand.
You went right to the source.
- Can I-|- Sure.
Thanks.
I'm just trying to find some CDs|for the Dragonfly.
- I hear Taylor's a big hip-hop fan.
|- He hops with the hippest of them.
Your room looks the same.
Yeah, I tried|that whole French-revival thing but it didn't really work for me.
So is it weird being back at home after being away for a while? No, it feels completely normal.
Today Yes, today.
An interesting day.
I'd authorize a case study if I could.
You know, I could be wrong,|but somehow I had a feeling that maybe if Tom hadn't have come in|when he did- - Dean?|- Yeah? - Lindsay.
|- It's not working with Lindsay.
- I can't make it work.
I've tried.
|- Are you sure? Because I've heard that the first two years|of marriage are the hardest.
We're not happy.
She's not happy,|and I can't make her happy.
- I can't imagine that.
|- It was a mistake, and I know that now.
- From the very beginning, it wasn't-|- It wasn't what? It wasn't Maybe you could go see a counselor|or go away together.
No, it's just It's over.
We both feel it.
I know we both feel it.
- You and Lindsay?|- Yeah, me and Lindsay.
- You both feel it's over?|- I tried.
We tried.
If it's over, I'm sorry.
- You are?|- I'm sorry you're not happy.
I'll be happy again.
- Things happen for a reason, right?|- Right.
I can't believe this is - That we're|- I can.
- Hey, how you doing?|- Good.
- Luke Danes.
|- Jason Stiles.
- So I see you had the pot roast.
|- Yeah.
- Good?|- Yeah, very good.
All the food was great tonight.
So, Jason Stiles.
- That name is familiar.
|- I'm a friend of Lorelai's.
- Me, too.
I own the diner in town.
|- She's mentioned you.
Has she? It's nice to be mentioned.
So you know Lorelai from where? - Actually, we're dating.
|- You're dating? - Going on six months.
|- You're dating now? - Yeah.
|- Sorry, my mistake.
I thought you two had We hit a rough patch,|but we're working through it.
Good for you.
When it's right, it's right,|and Lorelai and I are right.
- That's great.
I'm very happy for you.
|- Thanks.
You have any idea|where the men's room is? - It's through the dining room.
|- Nice meeting you.
Sure.
You, too.
Hey, you're the last one up.
- No, not the last one.
|- You okay? I heard Babbette was kicking your butt|at Yahtzee.
Actually, I'm feeling pretty stupid|right now.
- Why?|- I'm not a mysterious man, am I? The wardrobe's a bit of a head-scratcher.
I think I've been very, very clear|with my intentions.
You know, the wedding,|the movie invite, the flowers.
- Luke-|- You knew what I was doing! - No, not officially.
|- Not officially? Come on.
I didn't have a ref present,|but other than that- - You didn't say anything official.
|- What was I supposed to say? I did things.
I let my actions speak.
|That's what you're supposed to do.
That's the romantic way to do this,|damn it.
- Okay, you're right.
I'm sorry.
|- And you went along with all of it.
So, naturally, I assumed we were|on the same page and then your boyfriend shows up here,|at the Inn that I invested in.
What boyfriend?|Are you talking about Jason? - No, Tom.
Yes, Jason.
|- You guys were talking? What did he say? He said you were together.
I was sitting there listening to this guy|spout on and on about how it's right you're right, he's right.
The whole time, I'm thinking what the hell have I been doing|all this for? She's taken.
I'm not taken! - We broke up!|- He doesn't know that! - Just calm down!|- I don't want to calm down! I did everything right.
- I did exactly what the book said!|- The book? I thought we were on track and now you're standing there|looking at me like I'm crazy.
I'm not looking at you like you're crazy! You know the last time I bought flowers|for someone? Never! That's when!|Very easy stat to remember.
I loved the flowers! When I walked you home|after the wedding, there was a moment.
- I thought there was a moment.
|- There was! There was a moment.
- What are you doing?|- Will you just stand still? - What are you doing?|- Will you just stand still? I'll be right back.
I'll explain later.
Rory! Oh, my God.
You're missing everything.
Grab those CDs and head back to the Inn before you miss|the cross-dressing midgets 'cause that's where the night is headed.
|Things are happening.
Big things, wild things.
I have so much to tell you.
|Let me just open with this little tidbit: Kirk running naked through the square.
Of course, with all of my careful planning|and preparation I forgot to bring BAND-AIDs and a camera.
I have got to learn that always,|without fail Kirk equals camera.
- What's going on?|- Dean came over to borrow something.
Yeah.
- Thanks.
|- You're welcome.
So I should go.
- Bye, Lorelai.
|- Bye, Dean.
I'm almost done getting the CDs together.
I picked a wide selection|so we'd have choices.
And then I picked a bunch|that probably only you will like but it's good to have options.
What did he borrow? I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first.
I know I promised I would, but I swear I didn't know|that this was going to happen.
I mean, I didn't know he was going|to show up tonight and it just happened.
It's awful for you|to find out like this, I know but everything's okay.
|I'm okay, and we were, you know, safe.
So all those Trojan-man jokes|all these years really apparently stuck.
And I'm lucky, too, because Dean, he's Well, aren't you glad that it happened|with someone who's good and really loves me? But he's married.
- You don't understand the situation.
|- Is he still married? - Yes, but-|- Then I understand the situation.
It's not working out between them.
- They're not happy.
|- Oh, Rory.
He tried the best he could,|but it didn't work.
- It's over.
|- He told you that? - Yes.
|- He told you he's leaving her? - Well-|- He told you he's moving out they're getting divorced,|he's got a lawyer they've divided up|the Monster Truck season tickets? We didn't get around|to discussing everything.
You didn't get around|to discussing everything? - It was a crazy night.
|- You, of all people.
The girl who thinks everything through,|the list-maker.
You didn't bother|to discuss those things before jumping into bed|with a married guy? He's not a married guy.
|He's Dean, my Dean.
He's not your Dean.
He's Lindsay's Dean.
- You're the other woman.
|- I told you, it's over.
It's not over until he's out of the house|with the ring off.
- He took the ring off.
|- Oh, my God, I don't believe this.
He's in love with me, not Lindsay.
- Does Lindsay know that?|- She's not good for him, okay? She lets him quit school|and work himself to death and- No, Rory, you can't be one of those girls|who blames the wife for forcing the husband to cheat.
- He wasn't cheating.
|- He was cheating, Rory.
He was cheating,|and you were cheating with him.
- There's no other way to spin that, kid.
|- I'm not spinning it, and I'm not a kid.
- I'm 19.
|- This is your first time.
It's just not the way|your first time was supposed to be.
And how was|my first time supposed to be? First of all, it was supposed|to be in a retirement home.
And secondly, ideally, it was supposed|to be with someone single.
My first time was with someone sweet|and kind who loves me.
I didn't raise you to be like this.
I didn't raise you to be the girl|who sleeps with someone else's husband.
You slept with Dad|when he was with Sherry.
- He wasn't married to Sherry.
|- He was engaged, and she was pregnant.
So, this is all my fault?|I set one crappy example for you and you have no choice|but to follow in my footsteps? Rory, what are you going to do now?|Is there a plan? - I don't want to talk about it anymore.
|- I just want what's best for you, that's all! - I don't want to talk about it!|- I just don't want you to get hurt.
What if he doesn't leave her?|Now you're all emotionally involved.
You're mad|because I didn't come running to you to discuss whether or not I was ready|for this step.
- I decided it on my own.
|- Obviously, you weren't ready.
The very fact|that you chose another girl's guy to sleep with, proves that.
- He was my boyfriend first!|- But you dumped him! You rejected him.
|You picked someone else.
- Stop it!|- Rory! I hate you for ruining this for me.
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