The Wonder Years s04e22 Episode Script
Graduation
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of key, yeah Oh, baby, I get by By with a little help from my friends All I need is my buddies High with a little help from my friends I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher - Try with a little help from my friends Whoa-oa-oa-oa Oh, oh, oh, oh Somebody who knows quite sure Baby By with a little help from my friends Said I'm gonna make it with my friends Try with a little help from my friends Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying High with a little help from my friends I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby Ooh, ooh, ooh [ The Byrds' "Turn! Turn! Turn!" Plays .]
1971 was a big year.
Hot pants were invented.
Denny McLain lost 22 games for the Washington senators.
And I graduated from junior high school.
But we'll get to that.
every purpose under heaven In the three years since I'd entered 7th grade, a lot of things had changed.
Still, in the suburbs where I lived, the currency of life remained about the same the whir of lawn mowers The cries of hide-and-seek The dreams of parents The struggles of children The grinding of very small minds.
"B.
" Um, honey, I think maybe it's "c.
" That's what I said.
"C.
" After a decade of hiding out in the cracks of the public school system, my brother was facing the hard choices.
Come on, now.
Try another one.
That would be, uh Not that he wasn't going down without a fight.
[ Mumbling .]
"A!" - Can we eat now? - Wayne! My mother, on the other hand, was standing guard between the rock Oh, welcome home, honey! And the hard place.
Eh.
Here's your drink.
Seemed my father had all but abandoned the concept of communication as we know it.
Jack? The contractor stopped by today.
About the foundation? I don't want to talk about it.
Well, he didn't seem to think it would be too bad.
Just a matter of repouring a few walls.
I don't want to talk about it.
My guess was the old man didn't want to talk about it.
Well, then, shall we have dinner? Good idea, Mom.
Good.
Have a seat.
And there you had it.
In the great scheme of Arnold family life, things were moving on.
For some of us, anyway.
Hi! [ Groans .]
[ Feedback .]
Students, parents, faculty, and friends, welcome! Eat it! [ Laughter .]
Who said that? The final week of junior high school.
Pbht! Kind of brought a lump to the old throat.
Shh.
Come on, guys.
This is serious.
- Yeah, come on.
- All right, people.
The Pfeiffster's got to make a speech.
[ Imitates snoring .]
When your names are called, you'll walk up the right-hand aisle to collect your diplomas.
Yes? Do I get one this year? [ Laughter .]
I fail to see the humor in that, Mr.
Barbella.
Just checkin'.
I don't get it.
This is a major moment in our lives.
Isn't anyone aware of that? But if Paul was looking for allies, he was in the wrong camp.
Get off it, Pfeiffer.
Yeah, come on Paul.
Lighten up.
It's just a stupid graduation.
To you, maybe.
Not to me.
Paul, what's the big deal? I mean, we're gonna see all these people next year in high school, right? Hey, the whole thing seemed pretty clear to me.
[ School bell rings .]
It was time to move on, time to bid goodbye to old times Watch it, Kevin! Old nightmares! What did I ever do to you?! As if I had to tell you.
On the other hand, maybe some things went beyond simple farewells.
Things like, say [ Choral music plays .]
Miss white! Miss white.
My old English teacher.
My secret flame.
[ Brahms' "lullaby" plays .]
Mrs.
Heimer.
Remember? Oh.
Right.
Boy.
What happened to her? Well, one thing was clear whatever was happening, it wasn't always a pretty sight.
Men.
I have good news.
And I have bad news.
Ed Cutlip the man, the educator, the cliché.
The good news is, after three years of long hours, backbreaking work, and total dedication on my part you men are ready to move on.
The bad news is I won't be going with you.
I'll be Here.
At the northeast college of the great plains, Indianapolis campus, Indianapolis, Indiana.
Post office box 248.
Beginning in August, I'll be assuming the position of assistant athletic director.
The big time, people.
[ Fanfare plays .]
But before I go, I'd like to leave you with a thought, one to carry with you years from now when you look back and think of coach Cutlip.
Free at last.
Thank God almighty, free At last.
We were witnessing the passing of an era.
Amen! An era that led directly from physical education To love.
[ Clears throat .]
Platonically speaking.
Kevin, what do you think's gonna happen to us? Us? Actually, I'd had more than a few thoughts on the matter.
All of us.
Oh.
I mean, next year, in high school.
Do you think we'll be okay? How do you mean? I don't know.
Sometimes I wonder if the good times are really all gone Whether they meant anything at all.
Good old Winnie.
You had to love her.
Those vulnerable Doe eyes reaching out for my manly reassurance.
Of course we'll be okay.
It's gonna be great! We're all gonna be going to the same school.
Me, you Paul God, that cast was driving me crazy.
Oh.
Then Paul hasn't told you.
Tell me what? Never mind.
No.
What is it? Has he got a girlfriend? He's getting contact lenses? After all, the guy was my best buddy.
There was nothin' he didn't tell me.
Kevin He's going away to school next year.
Prep school.
[ Thunder crashes .]
What? Paul, tell me this isn't true.
Look, Kev, I wanted to tell you, but I don't believe this prep school? Paul, nobody goes to prep school! Nobody who was my best friend, anyway.
Paul! Let's not make a bigger deal out of this than it is.
Oh, yeah.
What was this your parents' idea? This was your idea?! Kev It's just a country day-school.
I'll be back in the afternoons! "Country day-school"? What are you gonna wear little frilly dresses and parasols? Okay, that was mean.
I admit it.
I meant it to be mean.
I loved this guy.
Look, Paul, this is you and me we're talking about.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? Kev, it's not the end of the world.
Armageddon, the final frontier the splitting of atoms, the tearing apart of nature's closest bond.
Let's take a look.
Okay, I was mad.
I felt lost.
My best friend had betrayed me.
So, of course, there was really only one thing to say.
So, got your polo outfit all picked out? What? Maybe you should start smoking a pipe.
That'd be pretty stupid.
Yep.
Thought I'd be real adult about this.
And you'll need some new underwear.
I hear all those guys wear pink.
Please.
I need your complete attention.
But I didn't care.
I was on a roll.
One word of advice, prep-man Kev, I don't have to take this.
Whatever you do, never, ever, let them see you eat spaghetti.
[ Laughter .]
Okay.
I've had enough! Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Gentlemen, please.
Control yourselves.
But suddenly, I knew what I had to do the lasting thing, the caring thing.
Aah! [ Paul thuds .]
Oh, golly! And with that [ Explosion .]
[ Young people shouting .]
[ Fire alarm blares .]
9th grade ended with a bang.
[ Rooster crows .]
Graduation day.
I thought I'd get in a little practice on my jump shot.
I didn't feel like graduating.
I felt more like Shooting hoops.
At least with a basketball hoop you knew where you stood.
It didn't move around or go to prep school.
Nope, a hoop stayed put.
[ Metal creaking .]
[ Metal clangs .]
[ Doorbell rings .]
Paul? Happy graduation.
It's an underwater watch.
Hope you drown with it.
I went for a walk, traveled streets I'd once known Long ago, when life was Simple.
The sky streaked with gray Human kindness Is overflowing And I think it's going When life was New.
To rain today [ Children playing .]
Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles With frozen smiles To chase love away Human kindness Is overflowing And I think it's going to rain today I guess that's when I knew the old days were gone.
Things had changed, and they were never gonna be the same again.
[ Horn honks .]
Kevin? Miss Mrs.
Heimer.
Maybe it was coincidence.
Maybe it was fate.
In any event You seem troubled.
Can I give you a lift? I took the ride.
[ Parking brake engages, engine shuts off .]
It's pretty here, isn't it? I often come here to think.
The funny thing is, there was I time when I'd have given my right foot to be with this woman who used to teach me English.
But that was once upon a time In 7th grade.
So, how are things? Okay.
I see.
I graduate tonight, you know.
I know.
But that's pretty much it.
Is there anything else? Of course, I wanted to tell her.
More than anything, I wanted to tell her about Paul and Winnie About my family About how my years with them meant more to me than life About how no matter how long I lived, I would always, always treasure these precious days.
Nah.
It's just I don't think I'm ready for all this.
You know? But I guess change can't be stopped, no matter how you might wish otherwise.
Anyway That's when it happened.
Kevin? I think we'd better go.
Go where? To the hospital.
[ Brahms' "lullaby" plays .]
Oh, my gosh! You'll have to drive.
Me?! But I don't know how to drive! [ Exhales sharply .]
Oh, my gosh! Help! [ Echoing .]
H-e-e-e-e-e-e-elp! Help! Help! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh.
[ Moaning .]
Oh, my gosh.
[ Engine turns over .]
[ Gears grinding .]
[ Tires squeal .]
[ Car backfires .]
Members of the class of 1971 Oh, my gosh! Oh, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Ohh.
[ Tires squeal .]
Tonight, we meet to celebrate a very significant occasion.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! [ Horn honks .]
Oh, my gosh! A time to face new challenges.
[ Gears grinding .]
[ Siren wails .]
[ Car backfires .]
Be right back.
Help! A time for looking forward.
A time for looking back.
That June day of 1971, I faced a truth About myself, about my times.
The world I knew had changed.
And now there was no turning back.
[ Baby fusses .]
Suffice it to say that that afternoon I embraced the future.
I became a Dad.
Well, kind of.
And that night Ladies and gentlemen, the class of 1971! [ Cheers and applause .]
I graduated from junior high school.
Kevin Arnold.
[ Cheers and applause .]
Yeah! Whoo! Butthead! Well done, Kevin.
Not that I did it alone.
Clarence Barbella.
[ Cheers and applause .]
Randall Mitchell.
I did it among people who had filled my life Well done.
Douglas Porter.
Congratulations, Douglas.
Rebecca Slater.
Congratulations.
And in their own way, had made it richer.
The future rushes at us, and we, in turn, stand ready, armed with our hopes, our dreams, and our memories.
I did it among people I loved.
Therefore, as we stand here at the end of one journey, at the beginning of another, let us make a bond To never forget our times at R.
F.
K.
Junior high And to never forget the friends that we made here.
[ Cheers and applause .]
I couldn't really say what I did that summer.
It passed in kind of a blur.
Hi! [ Laughs .]
What I remember are green lawns and sprinklers And the smell of backyard grills And the nearness of friends.
Hey, butthead.
Dinner's ready.
In a minute.
There was time.
Ahead lay new places, other days.
But for now So, next year we get our driver's licenses, huh? - Do you need anybody? - Yeah.
I never wanted it to end.
Could it be anybody? - All I need is someone - Whoa-oa-oa-oa Oh, just where I'm goin', yeah Oh, oh, oh, oh Said I know that's what I'm sure to do Baby By with a little help from my friends Said I'm gonna make it with my friends
1971 was a big year.
Hot pants were invented.
Denny McLain lost 22 games for the Washington senators.
And I graduated from junior high school.
But we'll get to that.
every purpose under heaven In the three years since I'd entered 7th grade, a lot of things had changed.
Still, in the suburbs where I lived, the currency of life remained about the same the whir of lawn mowers The cries of hide-and-seek The dreams of parents The struggles of children The grinding of very small minds.
"B.
" Um, honey, I think maybe it's "c.
" That's what I said.
"C.
" After a decade of hiding out in the cracks of the public school system, my brother was facing the hard choices.
Come on, now.
Try another one.
That would be, uh Not that he wasn't going down without a fight.
[ Mumbling .]
"A!" - Can we eat now? - Wayne! My mother, on the other hand, was standing guard between the rock Oh, welcome home, honey! And the hard place.
Eh.
Here's your drink.
Seemed my father had all but abandoned the concept of communication as we know it.
Jack? The contractor stopped by today.
About the foundation? I don't want to talk about it.
Well, he didn't seem to think it would be too bad.
Just a matter of repouring a few walls.
I don't want to talk about it.
My guess was the old man didn't want to talk about it.
Well, then, shall we have dinner? Good idea, Mom.
Good.
Have a seat.
And there you had it.
In the great scheme of Arnold family life, things were moving on.
For some of us, anyway.
Hi! [ Groans .]
[ Feedback .]
Students, parents, faculty, and friends, welcome! Eat it! [ Laughter .]
Who said that? The final week of junior high school.
Pbht! Kind of brought a lump to the old throat.
Shh.
Come on, guys.
This is serious.
- Yeah, come on.
- All right, people.
The Pfeiffster's got to make a speech.
[ Imitates snoring .]
When your names are called, you'll walk up the right-hand aisle to collect your diplomas.
Yes? Do I get one this year? [ Laughter .]
I fail to see the humor in that, Mr.
Barbella.
Just checkin'.
I don't get it.
This is a major moment in our lives.
Isn't anyone aware of that? But if Paul was looking for allies, he was in the wrong camp.
Get off it, Pfeiffer.
Yeah, come on Paul.
Lighten up.
It's just a stupid graduation.
To you, maybe.
Not to me.
Paul, what's the big deal? I mean, we're gonna see all these people next year in high school, right? Hey, the whole thing seemed pretty clear to me.
[ School bell rings .]
It was time to move on, time to bid goodbye to old times Watch it, Kevin! Old nightmares! What did I ever do to you?! As if I had to tell you.
On the other hand, maybe some things went beyond simple farewells.
Things like, say [ Choral music plays .]
Miss white! Miss white.
My old English teacher.
My secret flame.
[ Brahms' "lullaby" plays .]
Mrs.
Heimer.
Remember? Oh.
Right.
Boy.
What happened to her? Well, one thing was clear whatever was happening, it wasn't always a pretty sight.
Men.
I have good news.
And I have bad news.
Ed Cutlip the man, the educator, the cliché.
The good news is, after three years of long hours, backbreaking work, and total dedication on my part you men are ready to move on.
The bad news is I won't be going with you.
I'll be Here.
At the northeast college of the great plains, Indianapolis campus, Indianapolis, Indiana.
Post office box 248.
Beginning in August, I'll be assuming the position of assistant athletic director.
The big time, people.
[ Fanfare plays .]
But before I go, I'd like to leave you with a thought, one to carry with you years from now when you look back and think of coach Cutlip.
Free at last.
Thank God almighty, free At last.
We were witnessing the passing of an era.
Amen! An era that led directly from physical education To love.
[ Clears throat .]
Platonically speaking.
Kevin, what do you think's gonna happen to us? Us? Actually, I'd had more than a few thoughts on the matter.
All of us.
Oh.
I mean, next year, in high school.
Do you think we'll be okay? How do you mean? I don't know.
Sometimes I wonder if the good times are really all gone Whether they meant anything at all.
Good old Winnie.
You had to love her.
Those vulnerable Doe eyes reaching out for my manly reassurance.
Of course we'll be okay.
It's gonna be great! We're all gonna be going to the same school.
Me, you Paul God, that cast was driving me crazy.
Oh.
Then Paul hasn't told you.
Tell me what? Never mind.
No.
What is it? Has he got a girlfriend? He's getting contact lenses? After all, the guy was my best buddy.
There was nothin' he didn't tell me.
Kevin He's going away to school next year.
Prep school.
[ Thunder crashes .]
What? Paul, tell me this isn't true.
Look, Kev, I wanted to tell you, but I don't believe this prep school? Paul, nobody goes to prep school! Nobody who was my best friend, anyway.
Paul! Let's not make a bigger deal out of this than it is.
Oh, yeah.
What was this your parents' idea? This was your idea?! Kev It's just a country day-school.
I'll be back in the afternoons! "Country day-school"? What are you gonna wear little frilly dresses and parasols? Okay, that was mean.
I admit it.
I meant it to be mean.
I loved this guy.
Look, Paul, this is you and me we're talking about.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? Kev, it's not the end of the world.
Armageddon, the final frontier the splitting of atoms, the tearing apart of nature's closest bond.
Let's take a look.
Okay, I was mad.
I felt lost.
My best friend had betrayed me.
So, of course, there was really only one thing to say.
So, got your polo outfit all picked out? What? Maybe you should start smoking a pipe.
That'd be pretty stupid.
Yep.
Thought I'd be real adult about this.
And you'll need some new underwear.
I hear all those guys wear pink.
Please.
I need your complete attention.
But I didn't care.
I was on a roll.
One word of advice, prep-man Kev, I don't have to take this.
Whatever you do, never, ever, let them see you eat spaghetti.
[ Laughter .]
Okay.
I've had enough! Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Gentlemen, please.
Control yourselves.
But suddenly, I knew what I had to do the lasting thing, the caring thing.
Aah! [ Paul thuds .]
Oh, golly! And with that [ Explosion .]
[ Young people shouting .]
[ Fire alarm blares .]
9th grade ended with a bang.
[ Rooster crows .]
Graduation day.
I thought I'd get in a little practice on my jump shot.
I didn't feel like graduating.
I felt more like Shooting hoops.
At least with a basketball hoop you knew where you stood.
It didn't move around or go to prep school.
Nope, a hoop stayed put.
[ Metal creaking .]
[ Metal clangs .]
[ Doorbell rings .]
Paul? Happy graduation.
It's an underwater watch.
Hope you drown with it.
I went for a walk, traveled streets I'd once known Long ago, when life was Simple.
The sky streaked with gray Human kindness Is overflowing And I think it's going When life was New.
To rain today [ Children playing .]
Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles With frozen smiles To chase love away Human kindness Is overflowing And I think it's going to rain today I guess that's when I knew the old days were gone.
Things had changed, and they were never gonna be the same again.
[ Horn honks .]
Kevin? Miss Mrs.
Heimer.
Maybe it was coincidence.
Maybe it was fate.
In any event You seem troubled.
Can I give you a lift? I took the ride.
[ Parking brake engages, engine shuts off .]
It's pretty here, isn't it? I often come here to think.
The funny thing is, there was I time when I'd have given my right foot to be with this woman who used to teach me English.
But that was once upon a time In 7th grade.
So, how are things? Okay.
I see.
I graduate tonight, you know.
I know.
But that's pretty much it.
Is there anything else? Of course, I wanted to tell her.
More than anything, I wanted to tell her about Paul and Winnie About my family About how my years with them meant more to me than life About how no matter how long I lived, I would always, always treasure these precious days.
Nah.
It's just I don't think I'm ready for all this.
You know? But I guess change can't be stopped, no matter how you might wish otherwise.
Anyway That's when it happened.
Kevin? I think we'd better go.
Go where? To the hospital.
[ Brahms' "lullaby" plays .]
Oh, my gosh! You'll have to drive.
Me?! But I don't know how to drive! [ Exhales sharply .]
Oh, my gosh! Help! [ Echoing .]
H-e-e-e-e-e-e-elp! Help! Help! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh.
[ Moaning .]
Oh, my gosh.
[ Engine turns over .]
[ Gears grinding .]
[ Tires squeal .]
[ Car backfires .]
Members of the class of 1971 Oh, my gosh! Oh, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Ohh.
[ Tires squeal .]
Tonight, we meet to celebrate a very significant occasion.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! [ Horn honks .]
Oh, my gosh! A time to face new challenges.
[ Gears grinding .]
[ Siren wails .]
[ Car backfires .]
Be right back.
Help! A time for looking forward.
A time for looking back.
That June day of 1971, I faced a truth About myself, about my times.
The world I knew had changed.
And now there was no turning back.
[ Baby fusses .]
Suffice it to say that that afternoon I embraced the future.
I became a Dad.
Well, kind of.
And that night Ladies and gentlemen, the class of 1971! [ Cheers and applause .]
I graduated from junior high school.
Kevin Arnold.
[ Cheers and applause .]
Yeah! Whoo! Butthead! Well done, Kevin.
Not that I did it alone.
Clarence Barbella.
[ Cheers and applause .]
Randall Mitchell.
I did it among people who had filled my life Well done.
Douglas Porter.
Congratulations, Douglas.
Rebecca Slater.
Congratulations.
And in their own way, had made it richer.
The future rushes at us, and we, in turn, stand ready, armed with our hopes, our dreams, and our memories.
I did it among people I loved.
Therefore, as we stand here at the end of one journey, at the beginning of another, let us make a bond To never forget our times at R.
F.
K.
Junior high And to never forget the friends that we made here.
[ Cheers and applause .]
I couldn't really say what I did that summer.
It passed in kind of a blur.
Hi! [ Laughs .]
What I remember are green lawns and sprinklers And the smell of backyard grills And the nearness of friends.
Hey, butthead.
Dinner's ready.
In a minute.
There was time.
Ahead lay new places, other days.
But for now So, next year we get our driver's licenses, huh? - Do you need anybody? - Yeah.
I never wanted it to end.
Could it be anybody? - All I need is someone - Whoa-oa-oa-oa Oh, just where I'm goin', yeah Oh, oh, oh, oh Said I know that's what I'm sure to do Baby By with a little help from my friends Said I'm gonna make it with my friends