I Love Lucy (1951) s04e25 Episode Script

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) Hi.
Hi, girl.
I just saw your mother and Little Ricky on the way to the park again.
Isn't that wonderful? They can go outside every day in California.
What are you doing? Writing in my trip diary.
Let's see now.
"Friday, we went to Farmers Market.
Saw Robert Taylor squeezing oranges.
" Yeah, some oranges have all the luck.
Wait till the girls back home see the orange I have that Robert Taylor touched.
And you've got his autograph to prove it.
Yeah.
Wasn't he cute when he said he'd never signed an orange before? (laughing) Too bad you didn't get him to autograph something more permanent.
You'll have to throw that orange away eventually.
Never.
That orange and I are going to grow old and wrinkled together.
How many movie stars does that make we've seen? Well, let's see now.
I got them all right back here.
Eighty-four Ninety-nine! We just need one more to make a hundred.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
ETHEL: Hi, Rick.
Hey, Lucy.
Listen to this item in Sheila Graham's column.
"A well-known star has been ordered by the doctor "to get away from it all "and has taken a room at one of our local hotels.
"I wouldn't give away the secret hiding place, but the hotel's first name is Beverly.
" Beverly! I'll bet that movie star's hiding right here at the Beverly Palms.
Or the Beverly Hills Hotel Let's see now.
Well-known star.
I wonder who it is.
I just got to find out.
Why is it such a matter of life and death? Because we've already found 99 movie stars since we came to Hollywood.
We need one more to make an even hundred.
(doorbell buzzing) Oh, hi, Bobby.
Hi, Mrs.
Ricardo.
Oh, Mr.
Ricardo, I brought up the trade papers.
You got a mention today.
Variety, page eight, column three.
I circled it.
Thank you.
Well, I'll say that's real service.
Oh, I'm always looking for items about guests here in the hotel.
Oh, say Bobby, I'll bet you'd know.
What's that? About that item in Sheila Graham's column.
Is some movie star hiding out in this hotel? Um, um I don't know anything about it.
Not much you don't.
No, honest, I haven't the slightest idea who's up in the penthouse.
The penthouse! I was right.
Who is it, Bobby? Who is it? No, no, I've said too much already.
Aw, come on now, Bobby.
All we want to know is, is it a man or woman? Aw, come on, Bobby.
You can trust us.
We're your friends.
Yeah.
Come on.
All we want to know is, is it a man or a woman? Now, the manager's not allowed us to discuss him.
Then it's a man! What's his name? Bobby, what's his name? Oh, come on, Bobby.
Mr.
Ricardo, help! All right.
All right, girls.
Help! All right, girls.
Lay off of him.
Why don't you pick on somebody your own size? Yeah! LUCY: All we want to know is the name.
For heaven's sake, what's wrong with that? Don't you tell them anything that you're not supposed to.
I won't.
Come on, I'll convoy you to the door.
Thank you, Mr.
Ricardo.
If anybody finds out that Cornel Wilde is Cornel Wilde! Right here in our hotel.
Yeah! Oh, well, I can always get a job at the new Beverly Hilton.
Oh, don't worry, Bobby, your secret's safe with us.
LUCY: Sure, sure.
Yeah, I bet.
Good-bye.
Good-bye, Bobby.
Cornel Wilde, right up there in that penthouse.
Boy! All we have to do now is figure out how to get a look at him.
Wup-up-up-up-up.
What are you wup-up-upping about? Now, we're gonna nip this thing in the bud right now.
Cornel Wilde came here to get away from people, remember? I don't want to bother him.
All I want to do is see him.
Oh well, that I can arrange.
You can? Sure.
Oh, you know him from the studio.
Will you really arrange so I can see him? Sure.
Tonight we'll go see his new picture The Big Combo.
Got wonderful reviews.
Oh you know what I mean.
I want to see him up close.
All right, we'll sit in the front row.
Oh, Ricky, now, you can't do this to me.
One of the biggest movie stars in Hollywood is right over my head, under my nose.
Now, look, Lucy, I've got a message for you.
Well, slip it under the door.
I'll read it later.
I'm telling you, I want you to forget that he's up there.
Forget it? But Ricky, why should But Yeah, but Hi.
What are you doing? Trying to hear Cornel Wilde up there.
Oh, any luck? No.
If he's walking around, he's wearing bunny fur scuffies.
I got another idea cooking, though.
I'll bet you have.
I told Bobby to bring some ice water up here.
When he gets up here, Lucy I'm going to ask him if he could possibly Lucy tell me just when Lucille! he goes in and out What?! I hate to point this out, but Ricky told you to just forget that Cornel Wilde is up there.
Well, for once in my life, I'm not gonna do what Ricky tells me.
For once in your life!? You never do what he tells you.
So why spoil a perfect record? (doorbell buzzing) Oh, I can't keep up with you.
Here's your ice water.
Won't you bring it in, Bobby? Would you set it on the coffee table, please? Bobby Miss Ricardo, I'm pretty busy.
Bobby, I just want to ask a little favor of you.
The answer is no.
Bobby, all I want to know is when he goes in or out so I can take a little peek at him.
He doesn't come in; he doesn't go out.
He just stays there.
Oh Look, please let me go.
I got to take this up to you-know-who right now.
Why don't you give up, Lucy? Because I just got to see him.
Well, I'm sorry, Mrs.
Ricardo, but the only person who's allowed in to see him is me.
Now, he came here for a rest.
And the manager says if there are any calls from.
that I am to Oh, no! Not that! Let me borrow your outfit, Bobby.
Absolutely not! Bobby, all I want to do is take the paper up, rap on the door.
When he opens the door, I'll hand him the paper and I'll take a little look and I'll slam the door and he'll never know the difference.
Absolutely impossible.
Bobby Bobby, I'd hate to have to tell the manager that you were the one who blabbed all over town that Cornel Wilde was there.
You wouldn't! Oh, wouldn't I? (screaming): Bobby told everybody that Cornel Wilde was in the penthouse! Mrs.
Ricardo Cornel Wilde! Corn Mrs.
Ricardo please! Gosh! How can anybody look so pretty on the outside and be so sneaky on the inside? Isn't it awful? It's like smelling a rose, getting stung by a bee.
Bobby, let me borrow your outfit.
No, ma'am.
Bobby.
No, Mrs Bobby.
Mrs.
Ricardo, please! (singing quietly) (humming) Turn around, fire Be quick on the draw Or else one shot, there ain't no more (shower running) (humming) (doorbell buzzing) Come on in! The door's open.
Bellboy.
Come in.
Bobby? Yes, sir? Oh, you got the paper? Yes, sir.
Oh, good.
Well, uh, bring it in.
I want to have something to read in the bathtub.
Come on, Bobby, let's have it.
What's the matter with you? I can't reach it from the bathtub.
Bring it in.
(splash) Hey! (doorbell buzzing) Come in! Mrs.
Ricardo? Yeah, Bobby? Oh, here's your broom.
Oh.
Thanks.
I need it for an extension.
This thing doesn't reach far enough for me to see him.
Thanks.
Uh, Mrs.
Ricardo Huh? Could I ask you something? Sure.
Why do you hate me? I don't hate you.
Then why are you trying to get me fired? Mr.
Wilde doesn't like his newspaper wet.
I am not trying to get you fired, Bobby.
It's just that I want to see him.
Well, just keep me out of it.
Whose lunch is that? Uh, nobody's.
Bobby Honestly, honestly, it's a practice meal.
I'm gonna eat it myself.
(doorbell buzzing) Come on in.
Mr.
Wilde, I brought up your lunch and a fresh newspaper.
That's good.
This one's so wet, you can read one page right through the other.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that.
For a minute I thought President Eisenhower was playing golf with Little Orphan Annie.
(chuckling) Uh, where would you like the table set, sir? Oh, I guess over here's fine.
All right.
There we are.
Oh, uh, anything else, sir? Uh, oh, no, thank you.
I'll just sign that now.
Yes, sir.
I put your tip on there too, Bobby.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Thank you.
(doorbell buzzing) Come in.
Uh, Mr.
Wilde, you, uh, finished with your lunch? Yep.
All set, thank you.
Okay.
All right.
Ow! What's the matter, Bobby? Oh, sometimes the wheels stick and you sort of get it in the shin.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry, sir, I'm very clumsy today.
Bobby.
Yes, sir.
I seem to be all out of ink.
Do you know where there's any more around here? Oh, there should be some in the desk.
Let's see.
There you are, sir.
Oh, thank you very much.
Uh-huh.
Anything else? No, fine.
That's all.
Thank you.
Okay, sir.
Now, what's the matter? Oh The wheels seem to be caught on the furniture.
I'll, I'll fix it, sir.
LUCY: Ouch! That hurt.
Well, I meant it to! Bobby! Now, what's going on? Uh, well uh, nothing, sir.
Nothing.
I I'm just talking to myself.
I do it all the time.
My mother worries about me.
Yeah, but I I heard two different voices.
Well, there couldn't have been two voices when I'm the only one here, see? Oh, I get it.
Well, I never expected it of you, Bobby.
What? Trying to audition.
Well, I guess everybody wants into show business.
Where did you ever learn ventriloquism? Ventriloquism? Why, I don't know the Oh, ventriloquism! Oh, yeah.
Well, I don't do it very well.
Oh, what I heard sounded darn good.
Sounded just like a voice coming from under the cart.
Well, that's not too hard.
Do it again.
No, I'd rather not.
Oh, come on.
Go ahead.
LUCY: Yeah.
Go ahead, Bobby, do it again.
Bobby, that's absolutely marvelous.
I didn't even see your lips move.
Well, it takes practice.
Yeah, I've got to go now.
Oh, no, don't go.
Do some more.
No, don't go, Bobby.
Do some more.
Ah, I saw your lips move that time.
Well, I've really got to go now.
Go ahead and go, but leave me here.
Bobby, that's, that's fantastic.
You're the best ventriloquist I've ever seen.
Thank you.
Warm.
Uh, can I have a sip of your water? Oh, sure.
Go ahead.
LUCY: When Irish eyes are smiling Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay Well, Bobby, wonderful.
Absolutely wonderful.
Bobby, I'm gonna call my agent and tell him about you.
Well, I wouldn't want you to go to too much trouble.
It's no trouble at all.
I'll be doing him a favor.
You're sensational.
BOBBY: Well, if he is interested, he could call me here at the, at the hotel.
Okay, I'll have him call you here.
Okay, thank you, sir.
Hey, Bobby.
Yes, sir? Just do that little voice for me once more, will you? Okay.
(clearing throat) We have to go now.
Say good-bye.
(animated voice): Bye.
We have to go now.
Bobby, it's absolutely incredible.
I-I could have sworn your voice was coming from behind the couch.
Yeah.
I can't believe it.
I've got to hand it to you, Bobby.
I'm certainly gonna tell my agent.
Yeah, well, well, thank you, sir.
LUCY: Thank you, sir.
(chuckling) Oh, wonderful.
Uh, I won't forget to tell him, Bobby.
No, no, I thank you.
I know.
Well, good-bye.
Bye.
(sighing) (humming) Lucy? Lucy? LUCY (whispering): Ethel? Ethel, are you down there? Lucy? Where are you? I'm up here.
What are you doing up there?! Shh! I'm locked out on the balcony.
Locked out on the balcony? Shh! Be quiet.
I'll explain later.
Is Ricky there? No.
Good.
I want you to help me down.
Help you down? Yeah.
I figured a way to lower myself over the side and I want you to pull me in when I go by.
I won't do it.
It's a long ways down there.
You might fall.
Never mind that.
Now, do as I say.
I need some scissors.
Put it on the end of that broom.
What broom? It's over by the coffee table.
Where are the scissors? In that desk.
The broom Shoot.
I ought to be used to this type thing.
Here they come.
Okay.
Here I come.
Honey, I'm home.
Hi, Rick! Oh, hi, Ethel.
Where's Lucy? Uh, I don't know.
Oh, she's probably hanging around the hotel somewhere.
You can say that again.
Uh, what's new, Rick? What's the matter with you, Ethel? Oh, nothing.
If-if Lucy isn't here, I I'd like to listen to what's happened to you because you've been so nice to me, Ricky.
I wouldn't even be in California if it wasn't for you and your career.
That's true.
Yeah.
(stammering): Rick, I Would you like to know about a new cake I've learned how to bake? You-you take a half a cup of butter for this cake and you cream it.
And then and then you Ethel! Oh, then you add the frosting! What's the matter with you, Ethel? Are you crazy or something? No, no, no.
Well, I got to go now.
I hate to eat and run.
We didn't eat.
Well, some other time.
Where are you going? Oh, I got to pick up a friend.
(laughing nervously) (phone ringing) I'm telling you.
Hmm.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Cornel.
Yeah.
I thought you were hiding out.
Sure.
I'd love to play some gin.
Okay.
I'll come up.
Okay.
Oh! Oh, Lucy, you're here! Oh, thank goodness.
I've been looking all over the grounds for you.
Are you all right? (mumbling) Oh, poor little thing.
What broke your fall? One of the most uncomfortable palm trees in California.
Well, bless its little heart.
Yeah.
Well (phone ringing) (groaning) Hello? Hi, honey.
This is Ricky.
Oh, hi.
Hey, Ricky? Just a minute.
You want some cream in your coffee? No, just black.
All right.
Listen, honey, I'm up in Cornel Wilde's apartment.
You're what? I'm up in Cornel Wilde's apartment and I want you to come up and meet him.
Are you sure this is Ricky? Yes, honey.
You see, you were so nice about about not bothering him that I want to give you a reward.
Oh.
Now, you see how well things work out when you do what I tell you? Yes, sir.
Well, you want to come up? Oh, yes.
Yes, I Yes, sir.
Uh, uh I'll be right up as soon as I powder my nose.
Bye.
What happened? Ricky's with Cornel Wilde and he wants me to come up.
At last you're gonna get to meet him face-to-face! Finally.
You want to come with me? Can I? Sure.
H-H-Help me g-g-get de-palmed, will you? Okay.
Do I look all right? Oh, you look wonderful.
Hey, what took you so long? Oh, well, I I had to to change my clothes, but I'm ready now.
Come on.
It's too late now.
He's gone.
Gone? Where? He moved to another hotel.
Why? I don't know.
I guess the news of him being here leaked out.
We just found evidence of a prowler in his balcony.
Ew ANNOUNCER: Next week, I Love Lucy will be brought to you by Lilt Home Permanents.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) The bellboy was played by Bobby Jellison and Cornel Wilde portrayed himself.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.