Melrose Place s04e25 Episode Script

Kimberly, where the hell is all my underwear and T-shirts? I don't know, dear.
Maybe they're still in the wash.
Do you want me to check? Wow.
You ironed my underwear.
That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard of.
Thank you.
You must have been up all night.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
It's all starting to make sense.
You still have keys.
My position requires that I have complete access to the doctors at all times.
Besides, Michael and I are going over receipts for the accountant this morning.
Sydney, I am referring to your sneaky little tricks like rearranging the furniture, ironing Michael's clothes.
Um, I have a news flash for you.
I'm his office manager, not his maid.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Oh, you don't.
I'm talking about your residual anger at our therapy sessions, along with your own inability to sustain a relationship.
It all adds up to one thing, your wanting Michael back.
And what better way to do that than to try to drive me over the edge.
Okay, this is all sounding a little too nostalgic for me.
It makes me think bombs are tick-tocking nearby.
I've got a news flash for you, Sydney.
It's not gonna work because I'm perfectly sane and perfectly capable of satisfying all of Michael's needs.
Mm-hmm.
We both know that would take an army of very sick women.
And for the record, I would rather drink bleach than touch that man's briefs.
Please keep me company Oh, oh 'Cause I don't want to be alone tonight Will you be my candlelight? I need you to stay with me tonight Till my room is full of light Heart is waiting My head is aching Fine.
Just get me out before it gets uglier.
If I knew how, I wouldn't need a lawyer, would I? Still having legal problems? Let's just say Bobby's dirty work isn't reflecting too kindly on me.
Anything I can do to help? Not pursuing a conversation about it would be nice.
How about discussing three-point shoes and my repping it? Despite your recent successes, you're not in that league yet.
That account is mine exclusively.
I intend to keep it that way.
I have something else for you.
Alison, midnight sun vodka.
Its owner is in this country and being courted by every major agency, including ours.
The only difference is, we're gonna land him, or more precisely, you will.
I'm not sure I'm the right choice for this, for obvious reasons.
I don't have a problem with it.
This isn't open to negotiations.
Regardless of what you want, I expect a signed, sealed, and delivered contract on my desk by week's end.
Now get on it.
We may be stuck together on this account, Billy, but I won't tolerate any unethical behavior.
That's funny, I don't remember Amanda mentioning ethics at all.
You didn't answer any of my phone calls.
I didn't feel much like talking.
Sorry.
No, I wasn't looking for an apology.
How are you? Well, maybe this'll give you some idea.
"Richard Hart thought of everything last night-- "music, lights, models, "and even an on-stage volcano.
"Too bad he forgot the umbrellas.
The result, a total wash-out.
" That's just one stupid review.
No, no, there's six others just like it.
All right, so a bunch of critics chose to focus on that accident.
It doesn't mean you don't have great designs.
You don't get it, do you? I sunk everything into this show.
Every dime, my entire reputation.
Now it's gone.
I'm worthless.
That is not true.
You still have your line.
And I captured almost the entire show on film.
It's over, Jo! I'm ruined.
Every time I look in your face, I'll remember that it was your stupid volcano that ruined me.
You know, you can't keep blaming me and expect to have much of a relationship.
Well maybe I'm not expecting to.
I'm going to finish developing the film from the show.
And then you don't have to worry about me being a constant reminder, 'cause you won't have to see me again.
How do you feel about oh, here.
Mums and lilies.
Actually, I was thinking of something more colorful.
You can get these in other colors.
To be honest, I really don't care either way.
How could you not care? Come on, it's our wedding! Hey, Alan? Can I have a minute? Yeah, sure.
Uh I gotta make it quick, though.
We still have a ton of ground to cover.
By the way, flautists or piano player? You're enjoying this, aren't you? Course not! But just because the wedding's a sham doesn't mean it has to look like it.
This is more absurd by the minute.
I know, I know.
Okay, if it's any consolation, I talked Gloria into letting me take you on the honeymoon instead of Valerie.
No cameras, no reporters, just us.
You're kidding.
When did you do that? Yesterday.
So am I forgiven? Yes but just barely.
[knock on door.]
I'll get it.
You must be Valerie.
That's right.
And you are? There he is, the groom-to-be! Come over here and give your old man a hug! (all clamoring) I meant to tell you they were coming, but I'm Mrs.
Ross.
Welcome to the family.
Thank you.
We figured we'd save you a trip to the airport and surprise you a little.
Well, you certainly did.
Oh, Mom, Dad, this is my roommate Matt.
Matt, hi.
And our wedding coordinator, Dina.
Nice to meet you both.
Likewise.
We have a wonderful wedding planned for these two.
You'd better because Valerie is one of the most beautiful brides I've ever seen.
It's kind of you to say, Mr.
Ross, thank you.
Please, call me Dad.
Okay, Dad.
The place is lovely, honey.
But does it only have one bedroom? I-- well I sleep on the couch.
Makes the rent cheaper.
You know, why don't I give you guys a tour of the place? Show you around, small as it is.
I sure am glad the boy's getting married.
His mother and I have been really getting worried about him.
What a great way to spend the afternoon.
Whoo! Do you realize this is all we've been doing lately? Listen, most people would kill for our sex life.
You should be happy.
I am.
I just don't want it to get tedious for you.
You've been with so many other women.
Hey, is there anything that you did with them that you don't do with me? Not really.
But now that you mention it, there are a few fantasies I've always wanted to act out.
Really? Such as? Like one, I'm pretending to be a plumber and you're a hot-to-trot housewife and no, listen, listen.
So, um, you've got a clogged drain, and I come in with my tool belt, you know.
Mmm, I like the sound of that.
Can we try it right now? You know what? I'd like to but I've got surgery.
Oh.
Tomorrow then.
Promise? Yes, I promise, I promise.
Right now, I've gotta take a shower, a cold one.
Not me.
I'm gonna stay in bed a while longer.
(sighs) Tool belt.
Goodness.
I'm late for the beautician.
[Michael.]
We could do the one where we're at the bus stop and we don't know each other.
And then you So smooth, you'll never get drunk.
Lief, why don't you tell us what you're looking for in an advertiser.
People who understand my vodka.
No, thank you.
Alison doesn't drink.
How can she know my product? She is more than aware of your customers' needs.
You have exquisite lips, glorious eyes.
In fact, the restaurant we're going to tonight will give you an idea of the market D and D would target for Midnight Sun.
We're going to a restaurant? Yeah, one that caters to the discerning crowd, the kind that spends olive oil and even more on the best vodka.
Come all this way to experience the American lifestyle, but all the advertising people ever do is show me restaurants, every kind of restaurant.
Take him to dinner, we're gonna lose him.
I suppose you have an alternative? Driver, take us to the Tropicana, please.
You can't be serious, Billy.
That's a strip club.
Excellent choice.
You and I, we think alike.
That's a good thing for business.
A very good thing.
This is completely revolting.
So you having a good time, pal? With loud music, drinking, and beautiful women, I'm in heaven.
I'm gonna go to the ladies room, if there is such a thing in this place.
This is the most fun I've had in years.
And that's important to me because fun is what my vodka stands for.
You understand this, very well.
Does that mean you're gonna sign on with D and D? Yes.
After I-- what do you call it? Mud wrestle with your little friend.
You know, Alison's not that kind of girl.
Well, let's put it this way.
You want my account or not? That idiot has been alternately dismissing me and groping me all night, and you agreed to let me publicly humiliate myself by jumping into a mud pit with him?! I didn't say it was my idea.
It's just gonna be the one time.
No! No, it won't.
Go to hell, Campbell, where I'm sure they are waiting with open arms.
What are you doing? Telling that overbearing, sexist creep what he can do with his mud and his account.
Listen to me, you disgusting pervert! Come to papa.
Get off! Aaahh! He's your client for God's sake! Wrong.
He's all yours.
[knock on door.]
Who is it? It's Bobby.
I don't have anything to say to you.
Come on, let me in.
Please go away.
You can't say it to my face, can you? That's why you won't open the door.
You need to see it in person, fine.
This is me telling you to leave.
Amanda, at least give me a chance to explain.
I have nothing to say to you.
So please, for the last time, go away.
Stay away or I'm calling the cops.
Why can't you believe me after everything we've been to each other? Why, Amanda? 'Cause you're just like your brother.
That's not true.
It's not.
Don't even think about hurting her.
I'll fix things, make them just like they were before.
I promise.
Please leave.
Are you okay? He's never gonna let me go, is he? What happened? Did somebody break in? You could say that.
So, how was last night? Oh, the word "revolting" springs to mind.
It was a nightmare, during which Billy crossed all lines of ethical behavior.
He took me and the owner of Midnight Sun Vodka to a mud-wrestling bar.
Well, that's certainly a novel approach.
He even went so far as to ask me to mud-wrestle with the client in order to secure the account.
What are you saying, you want me to fire him? Considering that I was almost pulled into a mud pit by a degenerate, yes! And, in keeping Billy on, you're only encouraging behavior that will eventually give D and D a bad name.
In similar circumstances, I might feel the way you do.
But this was messengered this morning.
We beat out Midnight Sun Vodka is ours.
So whatever Billy did or didn't do, it worked.
So because we got the account, you're condoning his methods? He's my most effective sales rep.
I'm not about to cramp his style.
I see.
You like him this way, don't you? Just two peas in a pod.
Well, if I were you I'd watch my back because he's a monster, and you created him.
Hey, hey, slow down.
Hey, David, how are you? I was wondering that about you.
I honked in the parking lot, but you seemed too stressed out to notice.
I'm sorry.
Between this wedding and Alan's parents being in town, I can barely see straight, so to speak.
Oh, I can imagine.
How's he dealing with all this? Truthfully, he's eating it up with a spoon.
I'm sure Alan knows how difficult this is for you.
You'd be surprised.
Well, look, if he forgets to consider your feelings and you need to talk to somebody who won't, give me a call.
Or drop by.
I wrote down my address, too.
[knock on door.]
Midnight Sun signed first thing this morning.
Congratulations.
Not too shabby, huh? No, it isn't.
But some of your methods may be.
Alison said Yeah, well, Alison's gotta get over herself, or she shouldn't be in advertising.
You may have a point there, but so does she.
I've seen guys like you in the past, Billy, and I've outlasted them because they succumb to their own ruthlessness.
Well, the only tendency I have is to succeed.
In part, because you feel the need to compensate.
You can't stop having a heart just because Brooke's stopped beating.
Give me a break.
You want an explanation for my ambition? Simple, okay, I want more out of life than some lousy senior-level ad job like yours.
I'm better than that.
In fact, I'm better than you, Amanda.
So I'll see you at work.
Is Richard around? He's in his office.
Well, well.
Look who's here, my own little Benedict Arnold.
I just came by to drop these off like I promised.
I've been informed you gave Jane the use of some of my cutters.
Is that true? Not that it matters anymore, but yeah, I gave Jake some names.
So not only did you ruin my fashion show, you got some of my employees to betray me for good measure.
No one betrayed you, Richard.
They just helped out on their own time.
How many, Jo? I'm not here to be interrogated.
Fine.
I'll handle it in another way.
People, I've just been informed that some of you have worked for a competitor.
Those of you who did are fired.
So grab your gear and go.
Get out.
Why are you doing this, Richard, some kind of power trip to make yourself feel better? Actually, those of you who didn't moonlight probably know who did, so guess what, you're fired, too.
In fact, you're all fired! Grab your stuff and get out! Move it! My God.
You're being such a jerk.
Too bad I can't have the satisfaction of firing you, too.
But you cheated me out of that by quitting.
It would give me great pleasure to have you escorted out by security because as of now, you're trespassing.
[woman.]
This is a wedding rehearsal, so can we stay with the program, everyone? We are paying by the hour.
Okay, let's go.
We need the bridesmaids and groomsmen up front.
Ladies.
Gentlemen.
Right this way, over here.
Here.
You look tired.
Maybe that's because your father's been talking my ear off about your future grandchildren.
I hope you told him not to hold his breath.
Alan, they are full of false hopes.
Coming out to them would be much kinder.
All right, look, I heard this lecture before.
Now is not the time.
I don't know about you two, but I'm maxed out on this heterosexual thing.
And your parents aren't making it easier.
Shh.
Here they come.
What's going on here? Hello there.
Don't tell me you have secrets? No, we were just Your father and I have one we can't keep a minute longer.
It's our gift to you and your lovely bride.
It's a year's lease on a lovely, cozy canyon home that we found for you.
Wow.
Thanks, Dad.
Mom, this is great, isn't it, honey? It's terrific.
Would you excuse me for a minute? He's probably just concerned about finding a new roommate.
I'll be right back.
Why don't we join the group? Great.
Matt, where are you going? This is so out of control.
Does it ever stop? Are you going to fill the canyon house with kids next? Of course not.
You and I will live there.
My parents won't have to know a thing.
Until they come to visit.
Then I have to move out, right? You knew the score.
Why are you nit-picking? Nit-picking? This entire event spits in the face of our relationship.
Damn it, this is the first time I've had my parents' support.
Right now, they are crazy about their son, and this is probably the only wedding I'll ever be able to give them.
So please, just forget about your own selfish needs for once.
My selfish needs? Yeah.
Look, you know what I mean.
Yeah, you know what? I do.
Fine.
Thank you.
I would have preferred red, but don't mind me.
Spare me the machismo.
I'm picking up the tab.
Amanda, what are you doing here? Alycia phoned my attorney.
I was advised to meet her here tonight.
Really? I forgot to mention it earlier.
I assumed you wanted to be here for her counsel.
Care for some wine? No, I won't be staying.
I just came to hear the details of your plan.
Well, let's get down to business then.
This check represents the sale of your share in the cable company.
If you accept it, you'll be clear of all criminal charges.
If you don't, you'll solely be on the hook.
I don't understand.
What she means is, Bobby divested this morning, leaving you alone on the board of directors.
He did, knowing full well how it would impact me? Unfortunately, he's a very desperate man.
Well, I guess this is a very kind offer.
Any reason it's for half of what I invested? No, other than it's the best I could do under the circumstances.
He really got me at both ends, didn't he? Do it, Amanda.
Sever all ties.
I'm here to take you up on your offer.
Is everything okay? Looks like you've been drinking.
Yeah! I'm just tired of putting someone else's needs in front of my own.
I just need some company tonight, David.
Some real company.
Come on in.
So it's freezable, too? Absolutely, and available in four colors.
I think I'll take the aqua set because my husband and I live at the beach.
Oh, very good! Do you have a credit card with you? Oh, yes, of course.
It's right here.
Thank you.
Oh! I'm sorry.
This is for a Kimberly Shaw, not Betsy Jones.
Betsy? Betsy? I see.
Um Did you hear what I said, Betsy? Yes.
Um Shaw is my maiden name.
Betsy's just a pet name.
What I think I'll do is pay for everything when it arrives, okay? Oh! But don't you want to stay for sandwiches? Actually I really need to get out of here.
Thank you.
Oh, but that's the best part.
God, what's happening to me? This is a surprise.
I wanted to come by and thank you in person.
Obviously you talked Alycia into working out this deal for me.
And I'm grateful, to say the least.
Mm-hmm.
I only wish I had listened to you sooner.
You were right.
I never should have gotten involved with Bobby.
Good morning.
I didn't realize you had company.
We were about to have breakfast.
Would you like to join? No, I should go.
I didn't mean to bother you.
Thanks again.
Yeah.
That was sweet of her to come by just to tell you that.
Yeah, it was.
Too bad she doesn't know exactly how much you've done for her.
If she did, I can't imagine she'd be so grateful.
What's your point, Alycia? The point is, the closest you'll ever get to Amanda again is in your dreams.
So start dreaming because I own you.
All right.
It wasn't nice of you to sneak off this morning without saying good-bye.
I'm sorry about that.
I had an early class.
Come on, Matt, don't snow me.
What's going on? It was a mistake, okay? After I left the wedding rehearsal, I had a few drinks.
I got even angrier at Alan and I ended up at your place.
You mean it was a lousy time? What? No! No! It was great! But mostly it was wrong.
And it can't happen again.
Uh-huh.
So you had your fun and now you go back to your boyfriend.
Basically, yes.
I'm sorry.
I gotta go.
Come on in.
Have a seat.
Well, this is definitely bad news.
I guess it depends on your vantage point.
Gloria, I can't go through with the wedding.
Alan, we had an agreement! Yes, but it's caused too much strain on my relationship.
Gloria, all we've been doing is fighting.
And last night Matt didn't even come home.
And because of that you're calling the whole thing off? Gloria, I've made up my mind.
You and my parents are just gonna have to deal with it.
[telephone rings.]
Excuse me.
Hello.
Better ask your boyfriend where he was last night.
Who is this? 'Cause he wasn't alone.
[knock on door.]
[Alison.]
Have a minute? Sure.
I've cleared this with Amanda.
The Midnight Sun Vodka account is now officially yours.
Well, that's gonna have to change 'cause I was planning on deferring it to you, so I can take on the bigger clients.
I'm sure you were.
However, this client is a pig, and it's only fair that he be represented by one.
Alison, I need you to do me a favor.
Call the Three-Point Shoe people and see if I can reschedule my pitch for later this week.
I have a presentation in Long Beach I can't get out of.
Right away.
So these are the accounts you want to drop? Quite a stack.
Let's start from the top, shall we? Yeah.
Let's.
It wasn't an accident.
It was Jane.
Kimberly, wait.
You can't just go in there.
Hey! Peter, Peter, I tried to tell her you were busy, but she wouldn't listen.
I forgot Michael was in surgery, but since I was here, I thought I'd just pop in and say hi.
Oh.
It's all right, Sydney.
You can go.
Shoo! Door.
So.
Well.
It's been a while.
How are things at the beach? Fine.
What can I say? Um I just I just adore Michael.
So much so, in fact, that I find myself doing all kinds of domesticities for him, and then forgetting I'd even done them at all.
Like what? Like ironing his underwear.
I guess people do that when they're in love.
Yeah.
Kimberly.
Let me be honest with you.
I've always felt that your remarrying Michael could bring out the worst in you.
Now you're not having unusual episodes, are you? Uh me? No.
No, not at all.
Everything's fine.
Anyway, I didn't come here for professional reasons.
I just came to say hi.
So hi! And good-bye.
I have to run.
Kimberly.
Uh I have time before my next patient if you want to talk Not surprising there's trouble in paradise.
Been abusing the intercom button again, have we? You don't have to eavesdrop to know once a lunatic, always a lunatic.
No matter how happily married you say you are.
Door.
Just get these to Graphics, have them bring up the color.
I want to talk to you.
About what? My Three-Point shoe company files.
My assistant tells me you took possession of them last night.
Care to explain why? 'Cause I had a meeting with them this morning.
Yeah, I'm now their exclusive handler.
Opportunism reaches a new level.
Do you realize I have every reason to fire you on the spot? Actually, you have more reason not to.
Because on the strength of my pitch alone, they agreed to double their advertising budget.
They agreed to 4 million per year? Yeah.
So now do you forgive me for not doing it your way? I can't deny you got results.
Good work.
I thought so.
Okay, let's take this in by half an inch.
Okay.
Great.
Richard! I'm surprised to see you here.
Looks like things are really picking up for you.
Yeah, actually they are.
Well, I guess that means that you won.
Richard-- No, you did, you did.
I fired my entire staff.
My offices are virtually empty, and the only money that's coming in is through freelance work.
Well, I'm sorry that things are so rough for you, but it's not as though you didn't bring some of it on yourself by stealing my designs.
I saw your car outside.
I wanted to talk to you.
I was gonna stop by and see you anyway.
Look, if you two are gonna stand around chatting, I'd rather you do it elsewhere.
I'm swamped with orders I can barely keep up with.
I have a pretty good idea why.
We won't waste your time.
Let's go outside.
Wait, all right? No, Jo, come on.
Let's go, please.
Bye.
Don't you dare take that crap about good conscience-- I don't want to talk about Jane.
But she's the one who's-- Just hear me out, please.
This has all been my fault.
Look at my actions.
I worked my employees like dogs.
I fired them without a thought.
Of course it was all gonna come crashing down on me.
And when it did, I took it out on the one person that I love.
I am so sorry, Jo.
You deserve better than that, and you deserve better than me.
But what happened wasn't an accident.
I know it wasn't an accident because there's no such thing.
I brought this all on myself.
Now that I've come to terms with that, please don't try and tell me otherwise.
So what are you gonna do now? Figure out who I am and stop hurting you.
Which means staying away as hard as that will be to do.
Richard.
Take care, Jo.
[man.]
So does this take effect immediately? Yes.
Sign there and here.
What about Amanda? You do this for her, too? It's all taken care of.
One last one.
Sign here and here.
I spoke to the D.
A.
's office.
As we expected, they dropped the charges.
That's the good news.
What's the bad news? You're broke.
Between outstanding bills, my final paycheck, and this office space, there's not a lot left.
That doesn't matter.
It'll prove to Amanda that I'm innocent.
That's all I care about.
[wedding music plays.]
[whispering.]
You don't come home for two days, and then you show up the wedding starts.
Look, I'm here.
Let's just leave it at that.
You slept with someone else, didn't you? Who was it? David? Yes, I slept with him.
It was wrong.
Sorry.
How could you do this to me? I said I'm sorry.
I was pushed to my limit.
Shhh! How dare you use that as a justification for infidelity! Obviously you were never committed to this relationship in the first place! I'm not the one who's getting married in case you hadn't noticed.
It's not nearly the same thing, and you know it! We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in the state of holy matrimony.
I can't do this.
Fine! Guys, please! Here.
You be the best man.
If there's anyone here who wishes to make an objection, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.
Alan, he loves you! Don't lose him over this! It's not worth it! Yes, it is! His career is a hell of a lot more important than a short-term relationship with a guy who's cheated on him already! What are you waiting for? Let's do it.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God to witness the marriage of Valerie Madison and Alan Ross.
We come to share in their joy Hey, honey.
Welcome home, dear.
Oh! I get it.
This is the one where I'm a dog of a husband and you're the wife who's straight-laced on the outside but all sexed up on the inside, right? I don't know what you're talking about.
Dinner's almost ready.
What? Please! We're in the kitchen! Oh! You're really working this one.
Okay, I'm game.
What do you want me to do? March yourself into the restroom and wash your hands thoroughly.
Go on.
But, um honey, I already did that at the hospital.
Oh! God! What did I do? Stay away from me, you disgusting pervert! Uh, Kimberly? Kimberly I don't think I like this fantasy.
Kimberly? Go away! Come on, honey, can't we try the plumber scenario instead? I said go away! Disgusting creature! How about the Babe Ruth fantasy? You're the fan, and I gorge myself on food.
Then you want my Louisville slugger.
You really like that one.
Thanks for insisting on dinner.
If you hadn't, I'd probably still be in the garage and starving to death.
I close tonight, so it's the only time I can spend with you.
Unless you come back later.
Maybe wake me up.
That sounds like a plan.
See you in a few hours.
How sweet! Oh, is that what you've been reduced to since you and Richard split up? Voyeurism? What? You and I need to talk.
Good, then we'll do it another time, Jo.
I'm tired and you weren't invited in.
I know that you set off the sprinklers at Richard's fashion show Jane.
I even have photographic proof.
Nice blouse, by the way.
What do you want, Jo? Money? I don't have any.
My first impulse was to reveal you for the manipulative bitch that you are.
But that wouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows you, so it didn't seem like much would be gained.
Just get to the point.
I want you to fix what you broke.
I want you to hire Richard as your consultant, and resurrect him in the fashion world.
This is fun! Yeah! I told you not to come back here.
The prosecution's over, Amanda.
This whole thing's cleared up.
Finished.
Please stay away.
I have no intention of repairing this door a second time.
I gave up my company, walked away stone broke.
And you know what? I don't care.
I did it for you.
I'm sorry you had to do that.
Doesn't this mean anything to you? Why would I give it all up if I was a criminal? Good-bye, Bobby.
Don't be afraid of me.
I lost my temper before, but it won't happen again.
I swear it.
Let go of me.
How can you not believe me? Leave her alone, Parezi! Peter! You trust this snake and not me? That's crazy, Amanda.
I said leave her alone! It's between me and her.
Butt out.
There is no you and her! Oh, my God! Help! Somebody, help! Peter?