Melrose Place s04e28 Episode Script
2395120 - What Comes Up, Must Come Down
(tense music) (shower running) (giggles) Oh! (laughs) Who's there? What was that? Someone's in the apartment.
Wait here.
Like hell.
Peter.
What in God's name-- I don't believe this.
I came by to wish you a happy birthday.
I didn't mean to interrupt your water play.
Are you crazy? You can't sneak into my apartment like this.
Sorry, I should have realized you'd already be on to your next boy toy.
Here's your key.
Don't forget to call first.
(door closes) Oh.
He's a smug piece of work, isn't he? (laughs) Yeah.
It's complicated.
Why don't you finish taking a shower? Don't I owe you a little soap job? You go ahead-- I gotta get dressed.
"Dear Amanda, come Hell or highwater, I love you-- Peter.
" (sighs) (dramatic music) I am digging in Getting nothing back from you I'm kind of mad at you I just don't get it You have seen much worse than me Personally I'm thinking It must be you Not picking up what I'm putting out there It must be you With wires crossed inside you somewhere It can't be me 'Cause I know exactly what I want to do So it must be you Your father's tired of the games, Bobby.
He knows you've been stashing his money someplace.
Now, you're gonna tell us where.
Guess again, you piece of garbage.
(laughs) I guess it's time to die.
(gunfire) Are you all right, Bobby? You came back.
(laughs) All the money in the world couldn't keep me away from you.
I didn't want you to face the heat any heat.
Is there any heat? What? (Bobby) Is there any heat in this damn place? I'm freezing.
(sighs) It's warm in here.
I told you, we're roommates nothing else.
Hm.
Thermostat's behind the fridge.
Hey.
Hi.
Thanks for meeting me.
I didn't know where else to turn.
What's with the secrecy, Kimberly? I have an office.
I know, but if I keep coming there, then Michael's gonna get suspicious, and I don't want him to think that there's anything's wrong.
Uh-huh.
Well, obviously, something is.
What's going on? You know those mood swings we talked about? See, Michael and I have to stay together this time.
It's the most important thing in my life.
What about the mood swings, Kimberly? It's fine, really, I just I'm feeling a little closed in, you know? I don't want him to feel like-- like I'm pushing him away, but if you could just, I don't know, get him out of town for a few days, it would give me a chance to settle my nerves.
Really, I love him so much, but I need some time to myself.
(soft music) Now, Kimberly, if you and Michael are gonna stay together, you're gonna have to, you know, talk about things.
Peter, you know how he is-- please? Please, just this once? All right.
There is this event that just came up he might be interested in, but you gotta promise me to just take your medication and get some rest.
And you call my service if anything happens.
I promise.
Mm.
Thank you.
I better get back to the house.
You don't have to do this now.
I value your work and your insight.
Cut the crap, Amanda.
I'm just here to get the last of my things.
For your sake, Alison, I hope one day, you stop feeling sorry for yourself and judging the people around you.
Who knows? You might be able to roll up your sleeves and work for a change.
Work? You don't have time for work, Amanda.
You're too busy angling, positioning, and selling any piece of yourself you can to get an edge.
And it's too bad because I think you used to have talent.
Oh, well, I'm so sorry to disappoint you.
Listen to me-- I do what I have to to survive in a world run by underqualified, Ivy League male runts.
So you go on home and lick your little wounds.
I'll stay here and get things done.
Well, from what I hear, those runts are gonna kick your butt out and put in your bedmate Billy.
I left you some boxes.
You might need them.
You always were an amateur, Alison.
And I'll stay that way, just as long as being a pro is the same as standing on Sunset Boulevard flagging down tricks.
(scoffs) (tense music) So you're really doing this, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, I am.
I hope you're all right, Billy.
Hey, I'mnot the one walking out on the job.
Don't worry about me.
Well, I do.
I'll see you.
I'm fine, Alison, okay? I'm the one that's in the action making things happen.
You're nowhere-- you're ridiculous.
I'm fine.
Let's go, get busy-- where's my messages? (Jane) I'm happy for the free lunch, but what's all the mystery about? There's no mystery-- I just wanted to talk to you is all.
If this is a proposal, I think we should wait.
No, it's nothing like that.
(sighs) Um nah.
But I've been thinking about you and me-- well, my attitude towards you.
Actually, not you, but, um your business.
My business? Jane, I'm worried about you.
I've been by the garage lately, and honestly, you and I both know the phone is not ringing.
You can't pay your cutters.
You're stalled.
Great.
First, I was just depressed.
And now, I'm suicidal.
(laughs) Come on.
You know you have the talent.
It's just that you need the other half-- the business head.
Now, you know that I don't like Richard any more than you do, but I met with him, and his business is dead, and the consulting between the two of you wasn't working.
You went to Richard behind my back? You weren't gonna do it.
He wants to meet with you, talk it out.
You would be the controlling partner.
Any other part of my life you want to take over, Jake? Hell, I am so incompetent, you might as well run the whole thing, and-- shh.
Make sure not to say anything-- I'm too stupid to handle it.
Damn it, Jane, I'm just trying to help.
Now, you're letting your pride get in the way of all this.
That's right, Jake-- I do have pride.
And I thought you, more than anybody else in the world, would understand that.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
(Michael) You wanted to see me about something? (Peter) Yeah, Michael-- yeah, come on in, sit down.
You know, we've always had a-- an unusual partnership not always on the same, uh, wavelength.
Hey, if you're trying to kick me outta here, I swear, I'll sue your ass off.
Billy, just sit down-- let me finish.
Now, I'd like to do something to help make us better partners, even friends.
Last week, I received this invitation to an event starting in San Diego tomorrow.
A beauty pageant.
You think judging a beauty pageant's gonna make us better partners? It's "Miss Health and Fitness.
" There are medical applications, Michael.
Besides, it's a-- a bonding thing.
Um Hey, you know, I'm glad you're over the Amanda obsession and, uh, back to being a hound, but you know, I'm not into strange babes these days.
And frankly, I don't need the temptation.
Michael! Come on, you need to get away.
So do I.
Now, as senior partner, I'm telling you-- this is not a request.
It's a guy thing, huh? All right-- all right.
But I will tell you, senior partner-- my wife won't like this.
When she gives me grief, I'm gonna direct her calls to your office.
(phone rings) (sighs) Hey, watch out-- the pool! Oh, I can't get my ball! It's okay, Tyler-- We'll get it for you.
Oh, no need to worry about my son here.
He swims like a tadpole.
I'm Laurie, by the way.
I'm Jo Reynolds-- I live here.
I got your ball.
Thanks.
We're waiting for Sydney Andrews.
She's not home yet.
Of course, she didn't exactly know I was coming out.
It's kind of a spur of the moment thing.
Do you know her? I'm an old friend from Chicago.
Yeah, I know her-- here.
Thanks-- you know, if you could be inside the ball, you could go anywhere-- on the ground, in the water-- Tyler, shh.
Oh, it's okay.
You could fly.
Someone big would need to throw you.
How long you guys been waiting? About an hour or so, I guess.
Well, why don't you come to my place to wait? Great-- it's cold out here.
No, I don't want to put you out.
No, I'm fine, really.
And I have chocolate milk up there.
Mom, come on! Okay, we'll get our stuff, Tyler.
(rock music) (Jake) You're kidding-- you just walked out? Yes, and it felt great, Jake, it really did.
I am free of all that overheated, backstabbing office crap.
Now all I have to do is figure out a way to pay the rent.
Well, if it's not too much of a comedown for you, we could probably find a shift or two for you here.
What, are you the safety net for the whole apartment complex? You know, to tell you the truth, I would love it.
Great-- well, you can follow Cindy or one of the other girls around tomorrow.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
You know, there's a catch, though.
You can do something for me too.
Maybe you could talk to Jane.
Are you two having trouble? No, not really.
But she's mad at me, but it's not about us.
Excuse me, could we get a couple martinis down here? Yeah, just a sec.
Um I'll tell you all about it.
But I hope you can help me out.
I'm just trying to help her.
Okay.
You're a hell of a boyfriend, you know that? Yeah, I'll be right back.
(laughs) (dial tone rings) Well, Sydney's still not back yet.
It's past 9:00.
Well, Sydney normally keeps pretty extended hours.
Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
We used to really party down together before I was pregnant, I mean.
Maybe I should take Tyler and just go grab a motel room.
No.
You have a great kid there, Laurie.
You two take my bed, and I'll sleep on the couch tonight.
No, we couldn't-- you've been too nice already.
I insist.
So get your stuff, and head in the bedroom, and I'll bring Tyler.
(soft music) Mm.
Are you sure this is all right? I'm positive.
Peter.
I'm glad I caught you.
You're the only person I know who works as late as I do.
Well, if it isn't the birthday girl.
You know, I'd really love to stay and chat, but, doggone it we're closed for the day.
Peter-- Peter.
(sighs) I can't accept this.
I thought we were clear-- we're not involved anymore.
Oh, clear my butt.
Nothing's ever clear with you.
We're involved, Amanda.
Oh, yes, we are.
And one of these days, when you've finished playing around with every worthless Ken doll you dig up, we'll be together.
You may be 80 then, but honey, you'll be with me.
Never happen.
Why? Because you lie to me.
Anything I do, I do for you.
Another lie.
You love me.
No, I don't.
(dramatic music) Now who's lying? (knock on door) Laurie! What a surprise! Oh, my God! Hon, I'm sorry for showing up out of the blue like this, but I totally need a place to crash.
Remember, like, you stayed with me a few years ago? Right, right.
Um, what about Tony? Oh, I left Tony for good.
Jerk probably doesn't even know I'm gone.
Please, Syd, it's just till I can get my act together-- a couple of weeks max.
(Tyler) I'm hungry, I'm hungry! Oh, my God.
Tyler, you have gotten so big.
Syd, maybe we could come inside and talk it over.
What's the commotion here? Um, just an old friend saying hello.
Um, do me a favor.
Flip those flapjacks.
Thank you.
(chuckles) Um, Laurie it's just that my place is really tiny.
And I just got this guy who moved in with me.
And I would love to have you stay here, but I'm sure you understand.
Sydney, you're the only person she knows in L.
A.
Where is she gonna go? Things are really delicate with Bobby and me right now, and Laurie and Tyler would just throw him right over the edge.
Sydney, you are so lame.
No, it's-- it's fine.
Me and Tyler will just find a hotel.
No, it's not fine.
You'll stay with me one more night.
Come on.
(door closes) Michael, come on, relax.
Trust me, you're gonna have a great time, all right? I don't think so.
Hey, guys, good to see you-- how are you doing? Good, I just wanted to thank you so much for helping out.
Really appreciate it.
Sure, sure.
See, see, see? Thiswasa stupid idea.
Michael, I don't believe you, huh? You get free booze, you're surrounded by beautiful women, and all you can do is complain.
I don't want beautiful women-- I want Kimberly.
I still don't get why she let me come so easily.
You know, maybe she has things on her mind.
I don't-- hey, where are you going? I'm gonna call my wife.
Michael! (Teri) Hi.
I'm Teri Carson, and this is my daughter Brandi.
She was Miss Tarzana, and the obvious choice for Miss Health and Fitness, Doctor Burns.
Are you a real doctor? My! That must come in very handy when you're judging a contest like this, your knowledge of anatomy and all.
Yeah, right.
Listen, I have to talk to Dr.
Mancini.
Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to walk away from a beautiful woman? Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that I-- You just have to scare us up a drink because I don't intend to let you out of my sight.
Go do yourself some good with the other one.
Uh (telephone rings) Hello? Kimberly? Man, do I miss you.
Michael, I miss you too, but I wish you wouldn't call.
I can't stand this anymore.
Come on-- I'll tell you what.
They have alternate judges here.
I can be home in three hours.
Michael, I-- I really need to be alone.
You had the whole day to yourself.
Please, I-- I just-- I just need some space.
I'll see you in two days, okay? Aw, come on, Kimberly.
Bye.
Kimberly? Oh! Ooh.
I'm sorry.
I was hoping I could borrow your phone.
What? It's a local call-- I promise.
Okay, sure, but, um you'll have to let go of my hand first.
(laughs) I'm sorry.
I'm just so nervous.
I've never made statewide before.
Have you ever seen so many beautiful girls? Ugh-- I don't stand a chance.
Do you think? Well, you're-- you're very lovely.
I'm sure you'll do fine.
Oh, that's enthusiastic.
I hope I turn on the judges better than that.
Actually, I am one of the judges.
(laughs) You are? Mm-hmm.
How embarrassing.
Uh, please forgive me.
It's all right-- it's quite all right.
Then let me pay for the phone call.
Um-- um, excuse me.
(laughter) You know, drinks have been great, but why don't I make reservations for dinner? Just the two of us so we can get to know one another better.
Oh, but wouldn't that-- that be illegal? I mean-- It's perfectly within the guidelines.
Trust me.
I've done these competitions for years-- first as a contender, and now as a pushy stage mother.
(both chuckle) Well, a-- actually I'm with my partner, actually.
I'm sure he wouldn't want you to miss an opportunity like this.
Like what? A quiet, relaxed atmosphere where I can share with you what Brandi is as a person so the final voting won't be just skin-deep.
I think that's only fair, don't you? (tense music) Well, how about (dramatic music) (Sydney) So you plan to stick around L.
A.
If I can find work, yeah.
I've got a job interview later, and your friend Jo said she'd look after Tyler all day.
That is great, but you should know Jo has kind of a kid fixation ever since she had to give up her own baby.
Really? Well, maybe I shouldn't rub her nose in it then.
Don't worry about it-- She's kind of a sap.
My advice is use her for baby-sitting or whatever else you can get her to do, and she'll stop when she's had enough.
That's usually when I want more.
So tell me about this meatball you're shacking up with.
He's still playing hard-to-get.
Makes me think I'm losing my touch.
Hey, I have a little trick you might use.
Me and Tony, we got matching tattoos.
After that, it was the best sex ever.
It was, like, this whole bonding thing.
Really? So why did you leave the guy? Well, I realized what I was bonded to.
My contract still hasn't been renewed.
Oh, I don't believe it.
You're working here? Oh, my God.
Making an honest living.
What a concept.
Oh, you do know your liquor.
That was a classy comment, Billy.
So this is the rising star you're hitching yourself to? This is none of your business.
Thank God for that.
(chuckles) You were saying.
I can't get a straight answer out of the board about my contract.
I think they might be grooming a new president.
I'm sure they don't want to lose you, Amanda.
Your record speaks for itself.
All I am is a file record.
I can't socialize with Arthur Field or the board, and-- and they don't get to know me.
So take him out to dinner.
It wouldn't be a guy thing like it is with you.
You're so good at it.
What you need is some innocuous social situation, like, you know, a picnic or a party.
My birthday's coming up.
There you go-- you can invite the whole board.
Hell, I'll invite them for you.
But you'd probably want your friends at your party.
I don't have friends, Billy.
I just have enemies and associates.
So what am I? That's up to you.
(Tyler) this is fun.
(Jo) Yeah, for me too.
You know, Mom doesn't play games like this.
Well, your mom is working a lot to make money to buy you food and things.
Do you work? Sometimes.
Do you have kids? No.
Are you married? No.
How come? I guess I don't have a lot of patience for the way a lot of guys are.
I'll marry you.
(laughs) Now, you'd be worth waiting for.
(dramatic music) Michael-- hey, hey, what's the matter? Um, you know, I'm just not into this.
Well, let's go-- we'll have a drink.
How about that, huh? Does that sound good? No, thanks-- thanks.
I'm just gonna take a walk on the beach.
But, look, thanks anyway.
It's nice-- see you later.
Your friend looks like he could use some company.
Yeah, his wife.
Well, thank you for a lovely dinner.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
I'm on four.
Care to join me? (laughs) Well, I'm sorry.
I have to go to bed tonight.
That's what I had in mind.
No-- well, I don't think that's within the competition guidelines.
(bell rings) What are you doing? Use your imagination.
Mm.
Teri, I-- I'm very flattered, but I'm in love with another woman.
What's love got to do with it? Oh, no, no, hol-- Teri, hey, hey, hey.
The alarm is ringing, people are gonna be coming any minute now.
An hour minimum.
And if we can't beat the clock, we can have fun trying.
Mm-- mm I-- I'm sorry.
I'm not used to being turned down.
Well, no one has to know about this.
You rich doctors.
You think you control the world.
Me? I've never had anything but my looks.
I was this close to a title when I was Brandi's age, but nobody ever gave me a hand.
You think I don't know how this works? I'm laying it on the line for that girl.
I am her ticket to the top.
And if dinner is all you want, mister, then you better know this.
What happened tonight buys your vote, whether it was consummated or not.
(ringing stops) (tense music) Hi.
Hi.
I was trying to figure out how to repay you.
For what? For borrowing your phone.
Oh, that-- that's okay.
Forget about it.
(laughs) Well, at least take some interest on the rental.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You're gorgeous, but, uh, I'm taken, okay? Okay.
Okay.
(groans) Hey, look.
No, you look.
This is not your responsibility.
You weren't asking for it.
You didn't do it-- I did, and I like doing it.
Mm, I can't-- See, you just lie there and do nothing.
Then, you can honestly say, "I didn't do anything.
" (moans) I-- I-- I-- don't even want to be here.
You aren't here.
You're a figment of my imagination.
I'm a figment of yours.
And when we wake up, you're gonna vote for me.
Vote for me.
Vote for me.
(Michael) You've gotta find my wedding ring.
(telephone rings) Yeah, hello? Michael, I-- I hope it's not too early.
I just, um-- I just want to tell you that I miss you.
Oh, you do? Yeah.
I know I told you that I needed some space, but it wasn't because of you.
I'm just-- I'm going through some changes, and-- Oh.
I wish we could just erase the last 24 hours.
Yeah, you and me both.
So when are you coming home? I'm not having any luck, Dr.
Mancini.
Well, look harder! Uh, sorry, honey-- just as soon as I can find-- I mean, soon.
Tomorrow.
I love you, Michael.
Yeah, baby, I love you, too.
I'll see you soon, huh? Give me that thing.
Not that thing-- give me this.
If I don't find that damn ring, I'm a dead man.
(knock on door) (Jake) Yeah? Hey.
I don't wanna go another round with you on this.
Look, however you want to run your business, that's your business.
You're right.
But I shouldn't have shot you down when you offered me the only sensible solution to my problem.
Are you saying that you changed your mind? Richard's a lousy human being.
But as you and Alison pointed out, he's a damn good businessman.
And, yes, I could benefit from some kind of partnership with him.
The question is have you really thought about what this would mean to you? Yeah, but you'd have more time to work on your designs, which would make you happy, which would make me happy.
But I'll see more of Richard than I will of you.
I mean, how comfortable are you gonna be with that? I trust you.
How much more comfortable do I need to be? (laughs) Okay.
I guess I'll bite the bullet and call my new partner.
You know, I bet you that he could probably wait just a few minutes.
I bet you're right.
(both laugh) (applause) (Emcee) Now, before we learn our judges' decisions about the healthiest, fittest girl here (sighs) What? Please tell me you voted for Brandi.
What do you care who I voted for, Michael? Well, I just think we should be in agreement on this, okay? Michael, this isn't team judging.
Well, damn it, she's the most qualified.
And now, we're to the moment that we've all been waiting for.
And here's the card.
The second runner-up in the 1996 Miss Health and Fitness pageant is Miss Westwood, Bunny Stein.
(applause) And the first runner-up, from the San Fernando Valley, Miss Tarzana, Brandi Carson.
(tense music) You bastard.
My daughter needed this title.
Excuse me? Now, she'll never be Miss California.
What was that all about? Well, I'm sure she'll get over it! Poor losers.
(tense music) (Laurie) Don't you ever do that again! Ever! What the hell is going on? Look, he was playing with your stove.
He could've burned himself.
He could've burned the whole apartment down.
No, I couldn't.
You don't listen.
You're gonna get punished again, do you hear me? It's okay, honey-- don't cry.
I give up.
Look, Jo, I'm sorry about all the noise, but we're gonna be out of your hair soon.
Syd said she'd help me look for an apartment tomorrow, if you don't mind sitting.
No.
That's fine.
You bought me six-- no, seven drinks.
So I'm drunk, and you're not-- why is that? Because I can hold my liquor better.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
You're trying to take advantage of me.
I resent that.
This is just good friends going out, having a good time.
No strings attached.
Uh-huh, I don't believe you, but I'm too drunk to care.
Oh, look.
Tattoo parlor.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, come on, tough guy.
At least take a look-- what do you say? (Billy) You're not tired, are you? (sighs) No.
I'm just not in the mood.
Any particular reason? Why are you crying? (laughs and sniffles) Doesn't have anything to do with you.
You've been wonderful.
And I don't want to burden you with any of my career problems.
You're not still worried about your contract being renewed.
I mean, it's not over till it's over.
I'll talk to the board myself if I have to.
Absolutely not.
Well, I'm hot right now.
They can't say no to me.
Well, I'm cold.
Don't go to the wall for me-- think about yourself.
(sniffles) (exhales) I'm gonna watch TV.
You get some sleep.
Billy Promise me you won't do anything foolish on my behalf.
I'm not gonna promise you anything.
(tense music) (groaning) Oh, what the-- Cool, huh? Oh! (groans) Oh, I don't believe this.
I'm gonna kill you.
Well, what do you mean? They look great, especially the spider web.
How did you do this to me? Well, you made it pretty easy, passing out and all.
I made it through high school, the navy, the CIA without getting one lousy tattoo.
And now, two nights on your sofa, and I'm scarred for life! Those aren't scars.
They're works of art.
I got one too.
See? Look at mine.
That's it? I have a mural plastered across my arm, and you got some speck? (laughs) That's not the point.
The important thing is we shared in the pain, experienced the same thing bonded.
(door closes) (door opens) Oh, Michael.
Oh, I never should have sent you away.
I missed you so much.
Sweetheart, there's something I gotta tell you.
What? I lost my wedding ring.
I was bodysurfing-- I must've lost it in the waves.
Oh, no.
Well, we'll just go get another one.
Oh, what the hell? We'll both get new ones-- today.
You lost your wedding ring? Yeah I'm sorry.
Oh, Michael, that's a bad sign.
It's a really bad sign.
I mean, it's like the universe is telling us that we're gonna lose.
Come on, don't say that.
We're not gonna lose anything.
Hey, you and me are forever.
(laughter) All right, there she goes.
All right, speech, big speech.
Um, well, I'm not gonna talk about which birthday this is, but I will say it's the fifth one I've celebrated since joining DD.
And, um, I'm not gonna reveal what I wished for, but I wouldn't mind five more.
(laughter) Anyway, thank you all for coming, and dig in! (Billy) That was a nice speech.
Probably fell on deaf ears.
Somehow, I don't think so.
I'd like a minute alone with the birthday girl.
Certainly.
Billy, would you? I'll save you the first piece.
So is this where I get my birthday pink slip? No, it's not the five years that you wanted, Amanda, but you won't be disappointed.
(laughs) Three years.
Thank you, Arthur.
This means more to me than you know.
Well, I'm afraid I can't take all the credit.
Campbell threatened to quit unless we re-signed you.
Well, I'll make sure to give credit where credit is due.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
(tense music) So good news? I got my wish-- a new contract.
Because of you, I'm told.
Well, just consider it a birthday present, which you can thank me for later at your place.
Well, actually, I was looking forward to going to Peter's tonight.
You're joking, right? No.
I just put my butt on the line for you, Amanda.
And that was totally your choice.
Look at it this way.
I got what I wanted, and for a couple weeks, you got what you wanted.
I knew it.
You were using me.
Well that's a polite term for it.
(Matt) No, I'm telling you, I feel like a 1,000-pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders since Alan left.
I've got my apartment to myself, my-- my bathroom to myself.
My-- my stress levels reduced to nothing.
You know, when I think about all the time that I spent watching the clock, waiting for Alan to get home-- pfft, what an idiot.
Now-- now, when he doesn't call? I don't care.
I mean, not to mention the fact that he's been in New York a week, and he hasn't even bothered to give me his number.
Do you hear yourself at all? What? You have invoked Alan's name at least 50 times in the last 15 minutes.
(laughs) That's not true.
Look, even if it is, it's just because I'm over him, and I can talk about him with a little objectivity now.
Okay-- so tell me this, Matt.
If you are so over Alan, why do you need his phone number? It's just a matter of common courtesy.
This was a mistake.
Check, please! Wait a minute-- I talk about Alan for a few minutes, and you're ready to call off our date? Yeah.
Wha-- that sucks.
Here I am trying to figure out my mistakes, my-- my feelings, and-- just so I can have a successful relationship, and what do I get? A bunch of guys who can't deal with anything.
I mean, they just want what they want, and to hell with everyone else.
You know, I oughta try that for a while.
To hell with everyone else except for me.
You really need to get a hold of yourself.
Yeah, and you need to get lost.
(doorbell rings) I considered calling, but I didn't want to take the chance that you might not see me.
Where's your sidekick? Oh, I'm not seeing Billy anymore.
Really? And is that supposed to have some effect on me? Maybe.
Being with him made me miss you in a way that I-- I can't really explain.
You know, I can't keep up with you.
You could try.
(doorbell rings) Excuse me-- don't change your mind while I get that.
(laughs) Yeah? You bastard.
You had sex with my daughter.
Let-- let go of me! How did you find out where I live? What's going on? Your friend here seduced a 17-year-old girl-- a virgin-- and he's not gonna get away with it.
You need to have your head examined, lady.
My lawyers are filing suit in the morning, charging you with unlawful sexual intercourse, corruption of a minor-- You're suing me because I didn't vote for your daughter in that stupid beauty pageant! This is absurd! If I were you, Dr.
Burns, I'd start coming up with a more credible defense.
See you in court.
You're nuts, lady-- you hear me? You're nuts! You slept with a 17-year-old? No! You could see the woman's a psychopath! Amanda, Michael and I were judges at a beauty contest.
I am such an idiot! Amanda! You're not gonna believe this woman, are you? I love you-- why would I wanna be with anyone else? The whole time I was at this beauty pageant, all I could think of was you.
I can't believe that in a moment of weakness, I almost let myself get sucked back into your sick, twisted world.
Amanda, wait.
(engine starts) Amanda! (somber music) Okay, Tyler, it's time for your bath.
I don't want to.
Tyler, your mom says you had to have a bath before you go to bed.
Water scares me.
How about water with bubbles? Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I'll get the bubbles then if you start to get undressed.
I'm stuck.
(laughs) Come here.
(groans) How di-- Ouch.
How did you get this bruise? I don't know.
Tyler, tell me how you got that bruise.
I don't know-- I'm gonna go get Buddy Bear.
(tense music) (rock music)
Wait here.
Like hell.
Peter.
What in God's name-- I don't believe this.
I came by to wish you a happy birthday.
I didn't mean to interrupt your water play.
Are you crazy? You can't sneak into my apartment like this.
Sorry, I should have realized you'd already be on to your next boy toy.
Here's your key.
Don't forget to call first.
(door closes) Oh.
He's a smug piece of work, isn't he? (laughs) Yeah.
It's complicated.
Why don't you finish taking a shower? Don't I owe you a little soap job? You go ahead-- I gotta get dressed.
"Dear Amanda, come Hell or highwater, I love you-- Peter.
" (sighs) (dramatic music) I am digging in Getting nothing back from you I'm kind of mad at you I just don't get it You have seen much worse than me Personally I'm thinking It must be you Not picking up what I'm putting out there It must be you With wires crossed inside you somewhere It can't be me 'Cause I know exactly what I want to do So it must be you Your father's tired of the games, Bobby.
He knows you've been stashing his money someplace.
Now, you're gonna tell us where.
Guess again, you piece of garbage.
(laughs) I guess it's time to die.
(gunfire) Are you all right, Bobby? You came back.
(laughs) All the money in the world couldn't keep me away from you.
I didn't want you to face the heat any heat.
Is there any heat? What? (Bobby) Is there any heat in this damn place? I'm freezing.
(sighs) It's warm in here.
I told you, we're roommates nothing else.
Hm.
Thermostat's behind the fridge.
Hey.
Hi.
Thanks for meeting me.
I didn't know where else to turn.
What's with the secrecy, Kimberly? I have an office.
I know, but if I keep coming there, then Michael's gonna get suspicious, and I don't want him to think that there's anything's wrong.
Uh-huh.
Well, obviously, something is.
What's going on? You know those mood swings we talked about? See, Michael and I have to stay together this time.
It's the most important thing in my life.
What about the mood swings, Kimberly? It's fine, really, I just I'm feeling a little closed in, you know? I don't want him to feel like-- like I'm pushing him away, but if you could just, I don't know, get him out of town for a few days, it would give me a chance to settle my nerves.
Really, I love him so much, but I need some time to myself.
(soft music) Now, Kimberly, if you and Michael are gonna stay together, you're gonna have to, you know, talk about things.
Peter, you know how he is-- please? Please, just this once? All right.
There is this event that just came up he might be interested in, but you gotta promise me to just take your medication and get some rest.
And you call my service if anything happens.
I promise.
Mm.
Thank you.
I better get back to the house.
You don't have to do this now.
I value your work and your insight.
Cut the crap, Amanda.
I'm just here to get the last of my things.
For your sake, Alison, I hope one day, you stop feeling sorry for yourself and judging the people around you.
Who knows? You might be able to roll up your sleeves and work for a change.
Work? You don't have time for work, Amanda.
You're too busy angling, positioning, and selling any piece of yourself you can to get an edge.
And it's too bad because I think you used to have talent.
Oh, well, I'm so sorry to disappoint you.
Listen to me-- I do what I have to to survive in a world run by underqualified, Ivy League male runts.
So you go on home and lick your little wounds.
I'll stay here and get things done.
Well, from what I hear, those runts are gonna kick your butt out and put in your bedmate Billy.
I left you some boxes.
You might need them.
You always were an amateur, Alison.
And I'll stay that way, just as long as being a pro is the same as standing on Sunset Boulevard flagging down tricks.
(scoffs) (tense music) So you're really doing this, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, I am.
I hope you're all right, Billy.
Hey, I'mnot the one walking out on the job.
Don't worry about me.
Well, I do.
I'll see you.
I'm fine, Alison, okay? I'm the one that's in the action making things happen.
You're nowhere-- you're ridiculous.
I'm fine.
Let's go, get busy-- where's my messages? (Jane) I'm happy for the free lunch, but what's all the mystery about? There's no mystery-- I just wanted to talk to you is all.
If this is a proposal, I think we should wait.
No, it's nothing like that.
(sighs) Um nah.
But I've been thinking about you and me-- well, my attitude towards you.
Actually, not you, but, um your business.
My business? Jane, I'm worried about you.
I've been by the garage lately, and honestly, you and I both know the phone is not ringing.
You can't pay your cutters.
You're stalled.
Great.
First, I was just depressed.
And now, I'm suicidal.
(laughs) Come on.
You know you have the talent.
It's just that you need the other half-- the business head.
Now, you know that I don't like Richard any more than you do, but I met with him, and his business is dead, and the consulting between the two of you wasn't working.
You went to Richard behind my back? You weren't gonna do it.
He wants to meet with you, talk it out.
You would be the controlling partner.
Any other part of my life you want to take over, Jake? Hell, I am so incompetent, you might as well run the whole thing, and-- shh.
Make sure not to say anything-- I'm too stupid to handle it.
Damn it, Jane, I'm just trying to help.
Now, you're letting your pride get in the way of all this.
That's right, Jake-- I do have pride.
And I thought you, more than anybody else in the world, would understand that.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
(Michael) You wanted to see me about something? (Peter) Yeah, Michael-- yeah, come on in, sit down.
You know, we've always had a-- an unusual partnership not always on the same, uh, wavelength.
Hey, if you're trying to kick me outta here, I swear, I'll sue your ass off.
Billy, just sit down-- let me finish.
Now, I'd like to do something to help make us better partners, even friends.
Last week, I received this invitation to an event starting in San Diego tomorrow.
A beauty pageant.
You think judging a beauty pageant's gonna make us better partners? It's "Miss Health and Fitness.
" There are medical applications, Michael.
Besides, it's a-- a bonding thing.
Um Hey, you know, I'm glad you're over the Amanda obsession and, uh, back to being a hound, but you know, I'm not into strange babes these days.
And frankly, I don't need the temptation.
Michael! Come on, you need to get away.
So do I.
Now, as senior partner, I'm telling you-- this is not a request.
It's a guy thing, huh? All right-- all right.
But I will tell you, senior partner-- my wife won't like this.
When she gives me grief, I'm gonna direct her calls to your office.
(phone rings) (sighs) Hey, watch out-- the pool! Oh, I can't get my ball! It's okay, Tyler-- We'll get it for you.
Oh, no need to worry about my son here.
He swims like a tadpole.
I'm Laurie, by the way.
I'm Jo Reynolds-- I live here.
I got your ball.
Thanks.
We're waiting for Sydney Andrews.
She's not home yet.
Of course, she didn't exactly know I was coming out.
It's kind of a spur of the moment thing.
Do you know her? I'm an old friend from Chicago.
Yeah, I know her-- here.
Thanks-- you know, if you could be inside the ball, you could go anywhere-- on the ground, in the water-- Tyler, shh.
Oh, it's okay.
You could fly.
Someone big would need to throw you.
How long you guys been waiting? About an hour or so, I guess.
Well, why don't you come to my place to wait? Great-- it's cold out here.
No, I don't want to put you out.
No, I'm fine, really.
And I have chocolate milk up there.
Mom, come on! Okay, we'll get our stuff, Tyler.
(rock music) (Jake) You're kidding-- you just walked out? Yes, and it felt great, Jake, it really did.
I am free of all that overheated, backstabbing office crap.
Now all I have to do is figure out a way to pay the rent.
Well, if it's not too much of a comedown for you, we could probably find a shift or two for you here.
What, are you the safety net for the whole apartment complex? You know, to tell you the truth, I would love it.
Great-- well, you can follow Cindy or one of the other girls around tomorrow.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
You know, there's a catch, though.
You can do something for me too.
Maybe you could talk to Jane.
Are you two having trouble? No, not really.
But she's mad at me, but it's not about us.
Excuse me, could we get a couple martinis down here? Yeah, just a sec.
Um I'll tell you all about it.
But I hope you can help me out.
I'm just trying to help her.
Okay.
You're a hell of a boyfriend, you know that? Yeah, I'll be right back.
(laughs) (dial tone rings) Well, Sydney's still not back yet.
It's past 9:00.
Well, Sydney normally keeps pretty extended hours.
Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
We used to really party down together before I was pregnant, I mean.
Maybe I should take Tyler and just go grab a motel room.
No.
You have a great kid there, Laurie.
You two take my bed, and I'll sleep on the couch tonight.
No, we couldn't-- you've been too nice already.
I insist.
So get your stuff, and head in the bedroom, and I'll bring Tyler.
(soft music) Mm.
Are you sure this is all right? I'm positive.
Peter.
I'm glad I caught you.
You're the only person I know who works as late as I do.
Well, if it isn't the birthday girl.
You know, I'd really love to stay and chat, but, doggone it we're closed for the day.
Peter-- Peter.
(sighs) I can't accept this.
I thought we were clear-- we're not involved anymore.
Oh, clear my butt.
Nothing's ever clear with you.
We're involved, Amanda.
Oh, yes, we are.
And one of these days, when you've finished playing around with every worthless Ken doll you dig up, we'll be together.
You may be 80 then, but honey, you'll be with me.
Never happen.
Why? Because you lie to me.
Anything I do, I do for you.
Another lie.
You love me.
No, I don't.
(dramatic music) Now who's lying? (knock on door) Laurie! What a surprise! Oh, my God! Hon, I'm sorry for showing up out of the blue like this, but I totally need a place to crash.
Remember, like, you stayed with me a few years ago? Right, right.
Um, what about Tony? Oh, I left Tony for good.
Jerk probably doesn't even know I'm gone.
Please, Syd, it's just till I can get my act together-- a couple of weeks max.
(Tyler) I'm hungry, I'm hungry! Oh, my God.
Tyler, you have gotten so big.
Syd, maybe we could come inside and talk it over.
What's the commotion here? Um, just an old friend saying hello.
Um, do me a favor.
Flip those flapjacks.
Thank you.
(chuckles) Um, Laurie it's just that my place is really tiny.
And I just got this guy who moved in with me.
And I would love to have you stay here, but I'm sure you understand.
Sydney, you're the only person she knows in L.
A.
Where is she gonna go? Things are really delicate with Bobby and me right now, and Laurie and Tyler would just throw him right over the edge.
Sydney, you are so lame.
No, it's-- it's fine.
Me and Tyler will just find a hotel.
No, it's not fine.
You'll stay with me one more night.
Come on.
(door closes) Michael, come on, relax.
Trust me, you're gonna have a great time, all right? I don't think so.
Hey, guys, good to see you-- how are you doing? Good, I just wanted to thank you so much for helping out.
Really appreciate it.
Sure, sure.
See, see, see? Thiswasa stupid idea.
Michael, I don't believe you, huh? You get free booze, you're surrounded by beautiful women, and all you can do is complain.
I don't want beautiful women-- I want Kimberly.
I still don't get why she let me come so easily.
You know, maybe she has things on her mind.
I don't-- hey, where are you going? I'm gonna call my wife.
Michael! (Teri) Hi.
I'm Teri Carson, and this is my daughter Brandi.
She was Miss Tarzana, and the obvious choice for Miss Health and Fitness, Doctor Burns.
Are you a real doctor? My! That must come in very handy when you're judging a contest like this, your knowledge of anatomy and all.
Yeah, right.
Listen, I have to talk to Dr.
Mancini.
Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to walk away from a beautiful woman? Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that I-- You just have to scare us up a drink because I don't intend to let you out of my sight.
Go do yourself some good with the other one.
Uh (telephone rings) Hello? Kimberly? Man, do I miss you.
Michael, I miss you too, but I wish you wouldn't call.
I can't stand this anymore.
Come on-- I'll tell you what.
They have alternate judges here.
I can be home in three hours.
Michael, I-- I really need to be alone.
You had the whole day to yourself.
Please, I-- I just-- I just need some space.
I'll see you in two days, okay? Aw, come on, Kimberly.
Bye.
Kimberly? Oh! Ooh.
I'm sorry.
I was hoping I could borrow your phone.
What? It's a local call-- I promise.
Okay, sure, but, um you'll have to let go of my hand first.
(laughs) I'm sorry.
I'm just so nervous.
I've never made statewide before.
Have you ever seen so many beautiful girls? Ugh-- I don't stand a chance.
Do you think? Well, you're-- you're very lovely.
I'm sure you'll do fine.
Oh, that's enthusiastic.
I hope I turn on the judges better than that.
Actually, I am one of the judges.
(laughs) You are? Mm-hmm.
How embarrassing.
Uh, please forgive me.
It's all right-- it's quite all right.
Then let me pay for the phone call.
Um-- um, excuse me.
(laughter) You know, drinks have been great, but why don't I make reservations for dinner? Just the two of us so we can get to know one another better.
Oh, but wouldn't that-- that be illegal? I mean-- It's perfectly within the guidelines.
Trust me.
I've done these competitions for years-- first as a contender, and now as a pushy stage mother.
(both chuckle) Well, a-- actually I'm with my partner, actually.
I'm sure he wouldn't want you to miss an opportunity like this.
Like what? A quiet, relaxed atmosphere where I can share with you what Brandi is as a person so the final voting won't be just skin-deep.
I think that's only fair, don't you? (tense music) Well, how about (dramatic music) (Sydney) So you plan to stick around L.
A.
If I can find work, yeah.
I've got a job interview later, and your friend Jo said she'd look after Tyler all day.
That is great, but you should know Jo has kind of a kid fixation ever since she had to give up her own baby.
Really? Well, maybe I shouldn't rub her nose in it then.
Don't worry about it-- She's kind of a sap.
My advice is use her for baby-sitting or whatever else you can get her to do, and she'll stop when she's had enough.
That's usually when I want more.
So tell me about this meatball you're shacking up with.
He's still playing hard-to-get.
Makes me think I'm losing my touch.
Hey, I have a little trick you might use.
Me and Tony, we got matching tattoos.
After that, it was the best sex ever.
It was, like, this whole bonding thing.
Really? So why did you leave the guy? Well, I realized what I was bonded to.
My contract still hasn't been renewed.
Oh, I don't believe it.
You're working here? Oh, my God.
Making an honest living.
What a concept.
Oh, you do know your liquor.
That was a classy comment, Billy.
So this is the rising star you're hitching yourself to? This is none of your business.
Thank God for that.
(chuckles) You were saying.
I can't get a straight answer out of the board about my contract.
I think they might be grooming a new president.
I'm sure they don't want to lose you, Amanda.
Your record speaks for itself.
All I am is a file record.
I can't socialize with Arthur Field or the board, and-- and they don't get to know me.
So take him out to dinner.
It wouldn't be a guy thing like it is with you.
You're so good at it.
What you need is some innocuous social situation, like, you know, a picnic or a party.
My birthday's coming up.
There you go-- you can invite the whole board.
Hell, I'll invite them for you.
But you'd probably want your friends at your party.
I don't have friends, Billy.
I just have enemies and associates.
So what am I? That's up to you.
(Tyler) this is fun.
(Jo) Yeah, for me too.
You know, Mom doesn't play games like this.
Well, your mom is working a lot to make money to buy you food and things.
Do you work? Sometimes.
Do you have kids? No.
Are you married? No.
How come? I guess I don't have a lot of patience for the way a lot of guys are.
I'll marry you.
(laughs) Now, you'd be worth waiting for.
(dramatic music) Michael-- hey, hey, what's the matter? Um, you know, I'm just not into this.
Well, let's go-- we'll have a drink.
How about that, huh? Does that sound good? No, thanks-- thanks.
I'm just gonna take a walk on the beach.
But, look, thanks anyway.
It's nice-- see you later.
Your friend looks like he could use some company.
Yeah, his wife.
Well, thank you for a lovely dinner.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
I'm on four.
Care to join me? (laughs) Well, I'm sorry.
I have to go to bed tonight.
That's what I had in mind.
No-- well, I don't think that's within the competition guidelines.
(bell rings) What are you doing? Use your imagination.
Mm.
Teri, I-- I'm very flattered, but I'm in love with another woman.
What's love got to do with it? Oh, no, no, hol-- Teri, hey, hey, hey.
The alarm is ringing, people are gonna be coming any minute now.
An hour minimum.
And if we can't beat the clock, we can have fun trying.
Mm-- mm I-- I'm sorry.
I'm not used to being turned down.
Well, no one has to know about this.
You rich doctors.
You think you control the world.
Me? I've never had anything but my looks.
I was this close to a title when I was Brandi's age, but nobody ever gave me a hand.
You think I don't know how this works? I'm laying it on the line for that girl.
I am her ticket to the top.
And if dinner is all you want, mister, then you better know this.
What happened tonight buys your vote, whether it was consummated or not.
(ringing stops) (tense music) Hi.
Hi.
I was trying to figure out how to repay you.
For what? For borrowing your phone.
Oh, that-- that's okay.
Forget about it.
(laughs) Well, at least take some interest on the rental.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You're gorgeous, but, uh, I'm taken, okay? Okay.
Okay.
(groans) Hey, look.
No, you look.
This is not your responsibility.
You weren't asking for it.
You didn't do it-- I did, and I like doing it.
Mm, I can't-- See, you just lie there and do nothing.
Then, you can honestly say, "I didn't do anything.
" (moans) I-- I-- I-- don't even want to be here.
You aren't here.
You're a figment of my imagination.
I'm a figment of yours.
And when we wake up, you're gonna vote for me.
Vote for me.
Vote for me.
(Michael) You've gotta find my wedding ring.
(telephone rings) Yeah, hello? Michael, I-- I hope it's not too early.
I just, um-- I just want to tell you that I miss you.
Oh, you do? Yeah.
I know I told you that I needed some space, but it wasn't because of you.
I'm just-- I'm going through some changes, and-- Oh.
I wish we could just erase the last 24 hours.
Yeah, you and me both.
So when are you coming home? I'm not having any luck, Dr.
Mancini.
Well, look harder! Uh, sorry, honey-- just as soon as I can find-- I mean, soon.
Tomorrow.
I love you, Michael.
Yeah, baby, I love you, too.
I'll see you soon, huh? Give me that thing.
Not that thing-- give me this.
If I don't find that damn ring, I'm a dead man.
(knock on door) (Jake) Yeah? Hey.
I don't wanna go another round with you on this.
Look, however you want to run your business, that's your business.
You're right.
But I shouldn't have shot you down when you offered me the only sensible solution to my problem.
Are you saying that you changed your mind? Richard's a lousy human being.
But as you and Alison pointed out, he's a damn good businessman.
And, yes, I could benefit from some kind of partnership with him.
The question is have you really thought about what this would mean to you? Yeah, but you'd have more time to work on your designs, which would make you happy, which would make me happy.
But I'll see more of Richard than I will of you.
I mean, how comfortable are you gonna be with that? I trust you.
How much more comfortable do I need to be? (laughs) Okay.
I guess I'll bite the bullet and call my new partner.
You know, I bet you that he could probably wait just a few minutes.
I bet you're right.
(both laugh) (applause) (Emcee) Now, before we learn our judges' decisions about the healthiest, fittest girl here (sighs) What? Please tell me you voted for Brandi.
What do you care who I voted for, Michael? Well, I just think we should be in agreement on this, okay? Michael, this isn't team judging.
Well, damn it, she's the most qualified.
And now, we're to the moment that we've all been waiting for.
And here's the card.
The second runner-up in the 1996 Miss Health and Fitness pageant is Miss Westwood, Bunny Stein.
(applause) And the first runner-up, from the San Fernando Valley, Miss Tarzana, Brandi Carson.
(tense music) You bastard.
My daughter needed this title.
Excuse me? Now, she'll never be Miss California.
What was that all about? Well, I'm sure she'll get over it! Poor losers.
(tense music) (Laurie) Don't you ever do that again! Ever! What the hell is going on? Look, he was playing with your stove.
He could've burned himself.
He could've burned the whole apartment down.
No, I couldn't.
You don't listen.
You're gonna get punished again, do you hear me? It's okay, honey-- don't cry.
I give up.
Look, Jo, I'm sorry about all the noise, but we're gonna be out of your hair soon.
Syd said she'd help me look for an apartment tomorrow, if you don't mind sitting.
No.
That's fine.
You bought me six-- no, seven drinks.
So I'm drunk, and you're not-- why is that? Because I can hold my liquor better.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
You're trying to take advantage of me.
I resent that.
This is just good friends going out, having a good time.
No strings attached.
Uh-huh, I don't believe you, but I'm too drunk to care.
Oh, look.
Tattoo parlor.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, come on, tough guy.
At least take a look-- what do you say? (Billy) You're not tired, are you? (sighs) No.
I'm just not in the mood.
Any particular reason? Why are you crying? (laughs and sniffles) Doesn't have anything to do with you.
You've been wonderful.
And I don't want to burden you with any of my career problems.
You're not still worried about your contract being renewed.
I mean, it's not over till it's over.
I'll talk to the board myself if I have to.
Absolutely not.
Well, I'm hot right now.
They can't say no to me.
Well, I'm cold.
Don't go to the wall for me-- think about yourself.
(sniffles) (exhales) I'm gonna watch TV.
You get some sleep.
Billy Promise me you won't do anything foolish on my behalf.
I'm not gonna promise you anything.
(tense music) (groaning) Oh, what the-- Cool, huh? Oh! (groans) Oh, I don't believe this.
I'm gonna kill you.
Well, what do you mean? They look great, especially the spider web.
How did you do this to me? Well, you made it pretty easy, passing out and all.
I made it through high school, the navy, the CIA without getting one lousy tattoo.
And now, two nights on your sofa, and I'm scarred for life! Those aren't scars.
They're works of art.
I got one too.
See? Look at mine.
That's it? I have a mural plastered across my arm, and you got some speck? (laughs) That's not the point.
The important thing is we shared in the pain, experienced the same thing bonded.
(door closes) (door opens) Oh, Michael.
Oh, I never should have sent you away.
I missed you so much.
Sweetheart, there's something I gotta tell you.
What? I lost my wedding ring.
I was bodysurfing-- I must've lost it in the waves.
Oh, no.
Well, we'll just go get another one.
Oh, what the hell? We'll both get new ones-- today.
You lost your wedding ring? Yeah I'm sorry.
Oh, Michael, that's a bad sign.
It's a really bad sign.
I mean, it's like the universe is telling us that we're gonna lose.
Come on, don't say that.
We're not gonna lose anything.
Hey, you and me are forever.
(laughter) All right, there she goes.
All right, speech, big speech.
Um, well, I'm not gonna talk about which birthday this is, but I will say it's the fifth one I've celebrated since joining DD.
And, um, I'm not gonna reveal what I wished for, but I wouldn't mind five more.
(laughter) Anyway, thank you all for coming, and dig in! (Billy) That was a nice speech.
Probably fell on deaf ears.
Somehow, I don't think so.
I'd like a minute alone with the birthday girl.
Certainly.
Billy, would you? I'll save you the first piece.
So is this where I get my birthday pink slip? No, it's not the five years that you wanted, Amanda, but you won't be disappointed.
(laughs) Three years.
Thank you, Arthur.
This means more to me than you know.
Well, I'm afraid I can't take all the credit.
Campbell threatened to quit unless we re-signed you.
Well, I'll make sure to give credit where credit is due.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
(tense music) So good news? I got my wish-- a new contract.
Because of you, I'm told.
Well, just consider it a birthday present, which you can thank me for later at your place.
Well, actually, I was looking forward to going to Peter's tonight.
You're joking, right? No.
I just put my butt on the line for you, Amanda.
And that was totally your choice.
Look at it this way.
I got what I wanted, and for a couple weeks, you got what you wanted.
I knew it.
You were using me.
Well that's a polite term for it.
(Matt) No, I'm telling you, I feel like a 1,000-pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders since Alan left.
I've got my apartment to myself, my-- my bathroom to myself.
My-- my stress levels reduced to nothing.
You know, when I think about all the time that I spent watching the clock, waiting for Alan to get home-- pfft, what an idiot.
Now-- now, when he doesn't call? I don't care.
I mean, not to mention the fact that he's been in New York a week, and he hasn't even bothered to give me his number.
Do you hear yourself at all? What? You have invoked Alan's name at least 50 times in the last 15 minutes.
(laughs) That's not true.
Look, even if it is, it's just because I'm over him, and I can talk about him with a little objectivity now.
Okay-- so tell me this, Matt.
If you are so over Alan, why do you need his phone number? It's just a matter of common courtesy.
This was a mistake.
Check, please! Wait a minute-- I talk about Alan for a few minutes, and you're ready to call off our date? Yeah.
Wha-- that sucks.
Here I am trying to figure out my mistakes, my-- my feelings, and-- just so I can have a successful relationship, and what do I get? A bunch of guys who can't deal with anything.
I mean, they just want what they want, and to hell with everyone else.
You know, I oughta try that for a while.
To hell with everyone else except for me.
You really need to get a hold of yourself.
Yeah, and you need to get lost.
(doorbell rings) I considered calling, but I didn't want to take the chance that you might not see me.
Where's your sidekick? Oh, I'm not seeing Billy anymore.
Really? And is that supposed to have some effect on me? Maybe.
Being with him made me miss you in a way that I-- I can't really explain.
You know, I can't keep up with you.
You could try.
(doorbell rings) Excuse me-- don't change your mind while I get that.
(laughs) Yeah? You bastard.
You had sex with my daughter.
Let-- let go of me! How did you find out where I live? What's going on? Your friend here seduced a 17-year-old girl-- a virgin-- and he's not gonna get away with it.
You need to have your head examined, lady.
My lawyers are filing suit in the morning, charging you with unlawful sexual intercourse, corruption of a minor-- You're suing me because I didn't vote for your daughter in that stupid beauty pageant! This is absurd! If I were you, Dr.
Burns, I'd start coming up with a more credible defense.
See you in court.
You're nuts, lady-- you hear me? You're nuts! You slept with a 17-year-old? No! You could see the woman's a psychopath! Amanda, Michael and I were judges at a beauty contest.
I am such an idiot! Amanda! You're not gonna believe this woman, are you? I love you-- why would I wanna be with anyone else? The whole time I was at this beauty pageant, all I could think of was you.
I can't believe that in a moment of weakness, I almost let myself get sucked back into your sick, twisted world.
Amanda, wait.
(engine starts) Amanda! (somber music) Okay, Tyler, it's time for your bath.
I don't want to.
Tyler, your mom says you had to have a bath before you go to bed.
Water scares me.
How about water with bubbles? Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I'll get the bubbles then if you start to get undressed.
I'm stuck.
(laughs) Come here.
(groans) How di-- Ouch.
How did you get this bruise? I don't know.
Tyler, tell me how you got that bruise.
I don't know-- I'm gonna go get Buddy Bear.
(tense music) (rock music)