Gintama (2005) s04e44 Episode Script
Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san. Stupid Me!!
This school was in the same district as Gintama High, but it tended to attract students with a notorious reputations during middle school, and the rundown building was dubbed a concentration camp by some.
The Metropolitan Yato Industrial High School.
This is the story of one man who arrived in this school full of savages I'll kill ya.
Bebop.
Kamui-kun! [Kamui - Episode 1.]
Starting today we have a new student, Kamui, joining our class.
Be nice, everyone.
I'm Kamui, from Harusame High.
I only have interest in those who are strong.
I'll take over this class before the day's over, so cheers.
What's that?! You dissin' us?! I'll show you how fearsome Yato High can be! If you get in my way again, I'll kill ya.
Hey! What do you think you're doing on your first day here?! You bastard! You don't get to push my buddy around! Be nice, or I'll kill ya.
Bastard's got cheek.
Abuto, do something! You read that as "Kamui"? [After School.]
Hey.
I said hey.
Can't you hear me? Are the things protruding from your head supposed to be doorknobs? Eh? How about a contest? Huh? Wait, that's The sevens, the hardest part of the times table Uh, six sevens would be 45 No, that's not it In this case, it'd either be 38 or 48 Ungyo! Lend me your fingers! I think I'll transfer [The End.]
Teach, I don't get why we have to study.
Is this going to help us out in the real world? I was spewing a typical adolescent question after failing this important juncture in life eight times.
Yes, I was the only one held back at the metropolitan Yato Industrial High School eight times.
I no longer show up for New Year's gatherings 'cause I can't stand all the stares from the relatives.
Never show up! That was when one particular man arrived before me.
I'll kill ya.
Bebop.
Kamui-kun! [Episode 2.]
Hey, look at that.
It's the three stupid crows from Yato High that've been getting cocky.
The new kid who took control of the third-years on his first day, Kamui.
The member of the old guard who's flunked eight times, Abuto.
The fatty's who's seventeen, believe it or not What's his name again? Beats me I think I'll transfer [The End.]
Say, did you know? That scene from the current ending sequence.
It has me set up as the only one who flunks and doesn't graduate.
How mean is that? That was when one particular man arrived before me.
I'll kill ya.
Bebop.
Kamui-kun! [Episode 3.]
Bah, those bastards from Yoshiwara Trade School Well, just sit back and let your leg heal.
Don't worry about anything else.
Hey! Nincompoop! Don't tell me you're going to go off to get payback by yourself I won't allow you to do that.
This is my problem.
Got nothing to do with you! I'll be back.
Hey, wait! Don't give me that shit! Hold up! Bah, damn idiot.
Mommy, peel a pear for me.
I think I'll make him transfer [The End.]
[The showdown at Hotel Ikezuya: The Kagekiha Anti-Foreigner Ronin Faction versus the Shinsengumi.
.]
[The fate of Edo rests on what Hijikata saw happen to Kondo.]
The enemy is hiding in Hotel Ikezuya.
They plan on executing an armed takeover of the terminal tomorrow.
They're meeting up at Ikezuya to discuss their plans.
I would assume that they're building morale for the upcoming battle with a feast of some sort.
This is our only chance to stop their plan and to bring them all in.
It's a showdown Squad 1 will join me in attacking from the front.
Squads 2 and 3 will follow their captains and attack from the back.
Don't let a single rat escape.
Got it? The fate of Edo rests on our blades.
Every battle we fight may be our last.
Our backs are against the wall.
Never look back.
Focus only on the enemy.
Open a path to the future with your swords.
Let's go! Excuse mewe're booked for the day We're here on official business.
We'll need to have a look inside.
Huh? Uh Toshi, I'm trusting you to watch my back.
Yeah, I got you.
["Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san.
Stupid Me!!".]
Oh He's got snot coming out Nah, it can't be.
He wouldn't have snot coming out now Nope, that's definitely snot.
It's clearly snot.
Should I tell him? But I don't want to do anything that would affect our morale right now But still If I leave it alone and the men notice, that'll also affect the squad's morale Let's go! Yeah! Huh? Snot? No way! Seriously?! Crap I had better tell him What's wrong, Toshi? Why the funny face? Kondo-san Well Even you feel nervous before battles, eh? But there's no need to be ashamed.
It's far more shameful to grow accustomed to killing.
We have no choice but to swing out swords in agony, hoping that we will be able to bring peace one day.
Humans are the only ones who can set other humans straight.
Don't let yourself become a monster, no matter how much blood you shed.
Th-Thanks That helped me snap out of it.
Kondo-san That was a nice speech, but your snot is going Tarzan on you.
Report! Squad 2 has reached the 12th floor! Squad 3 is on the move! Very well.
Squad 1 will head out once squad 3 is in position.
Yes, sir! NoI can't tell him I'd rather die than tell someone who's being serious that he's got snot going Tarzan.
Tarzan would fall into the ravine Can't do it I have to prevent that from happening I'll have to make him aware of the snot in passing instead of pointing it out directly What options do I have? Hey! You lot! Yes, sir! We'll have a piss break before we charge in.
Listen up.
You won't have time once the battle starts.
Take care of your business now.
If you don't piss now, you'll have to hold it in for at least an hour.
Hijikata-san, we didn't come here on a picnic.
Shut up! You're the type of kid who make them stop the bus to piss in the bush, crying, while all the traffic goes by! Hijikata-san, we're not on a bus.
Shut up! I told you to piss, so piss, damn it! Man, this is such a pain.
There goes all the tension.
I already squeezed out every last drop before coming here.
Kondo-san, why don't you join them? Nah, I already took a piss.
You should go wash your face.
It'll help you focus.
Really? I'll be gone for a bit then.
Stay on your guard.
Yeah, don't worry.
Okay, it's all good now.
Once he looks in the mirror, he'll notice Tarzan yelling.
I can only pray that Tarzan will return to the forest before anyone notices.
Okay, I'm focused now.
Let's get going! Yeah! T-Tarzan's come out to New York! Why?! What's going on?! He washed his face, yet his snot's gone from Tarzan to Leviathan?! [Note: Referring to the Leviathan from the "Final Fantasy" video game series.
.]
Hey, check out the commander Isn't there something on his nose? What is that? Isn't it Leviathan? This is bad They're starting to notice Leviathan Fall off! Leviathan, that isn't where you belong! Back you go to the Feymarch! [Note: From Final Fantasy IV for the Nintendo DS.
.]
There it goes! It's definitely gone now! What? Did I catch a cold? N-Now Bahamut's been summoned! Crap! I didn't expect Bahamut to be renting the room next door! Squad 1 has reached their floor! Very well.
Squad 1 will also move out.
Yeah! I-It's impossible to hide now Bahamut and Leviathan They won't stop until everything's destroyed What do I do? So-Sogo! What is it? Take squad 1 and use the emergency stairwell.
I'll join the double dragons, I mean Kondo-san in attacking from the front.
Will the two of you be okay by yourselves? The goal is to confuse the enemy.
You don't need to worry.
I'm willing to die to protect Kondo-san.
Toshi? Let me handle this.
I managed to get rid of the men, but the problem now is how to proceed.
If we charge in, the enemy will see these double dragons.
Huh? Hey, this guy's dripping snot! You should take care of your nose before taking care of patriots! Stop! Don't look! I have to do something before the situation gets ugly Eliminate the double dragons without messing with Kondo-san's serious manner.
Toshi, check that out.
The enemy has people on patrol.
If we're spotted, the enemy will be alerted to our presence, and our ambush will fail.
Yeah, you're right There's no time to get hung up about cleanliness.
I'll just use my hand.
There's no other way to bring down those giants.
Bahamut and Leviathan Which to go for first Given the way he's turned, Leviathan will be difficult Guess I'll start with Bahamut.
Okay! Bahamut just?! What?! Did it sense the impeding danger?! Leviathan's doubled in size instead! What's going on?! Come on! Don't tell me Bahamut and Leviathan are connected in the back? They're a couple? That makes this easy then.
Grab one and they're both goners! That's it! [Note: Odin's trademark attack from FF series.
.]
I'll go for Zantetsuken! My eyes! My eyes! Hey, Toshi! You okay?! Sn-Snot came flying out! Snot came flying at me like a Flare spell! What's going on?! Hey! What're you doing?! Whoa! What's with that sno Whoa! Nice one, Toshi! That was instant! Th-That was close He was about to find out.
Hey, wasn't that guy saying something about sno He wasn't! No, pretty sure I heard sno He must have been talking about snowbells, yeah.
He realized he was about to die, so he wanted to request snowbells at his grave.
Snowbells Damn, that's loud! What's all the noise about What the hell is that s- Socrates! I-It's the Shinsengumi! Onward! Wh-What's with this guy?! He's got all that sn- Soul Society! Hey! That's s- Son Goku! Whoa! S- 'Nothing to worry about! The hell's up with this guy?! He's a monster! Run! You won't get away! Zaki! Crap! Huh? Commander, what's with that s- Yamazaki! You okay?! Who did this to you?! A vase suddenly Zaki Damn them! They won't get away with this! Wait! Hold on! Here.
Your face is covered with the blood that's been splashing around.
Use this to wipe it off.
Your face is the one that's covered with blood.
I said to wipe it off, damn it! You won't be able to fight if it gets into your eye! Yeah, sorry It's true that you're as good as dead if you lose your eyes on the battlefield.
Right, you're done now.
It's over for you this time, damn snot.
H-Hey! What is that?! Why is his snot wiping his face?! Why is the dirtiest part of his face trying to wipe his face clean?! Okay, I'm ready to go.
Let's do this, Toshi! You aren't ready! You're a complete mess! Damn villains, it's on! He has total control of his snot No, I would say that the snot is controlling him What the hell? What is that thing? Stop it.
Stop abusing Kondo-san Get the hell out! Look out! Toshi! Kondo-san! Kondo-san! The snot is gone? I'm sorry.
For deceiving you this whole time Toshi N-No way You're kidding me, the snot You I am the true identity of Isao Kondo.
Snot Nebula 28 [Note: Spoof of the Japanese hero Ultraman and his home Nebula M78.
.]
That is my home galaxy.
I came to investigate Earth, so I commandeered the body of a gorilla, and altered my appearance to allow me to live amongst humans.
That would be me, Isao Kondo.
Once my investigation was done, I was supposed to be blown into a tissue and thrown away.
But before I knew it, five years, ten years had passed The next thing I knew, I was a middle-aged man.
I had so much fun with you guys Sno Kondo-san So everything I was trying to do to help you would have destroyed you? That's how it should be.
It's the fate of snot to be blown into a tissue and throw away.
But I've lived too long I've grown too ugly and fat to be kept inside a nose I wanted you to send me off Toshi, I wanted to be blown into a tissue held by you Can you do me this favorfriend? I'll come after you Next time, I'll also become snot I'll be waiting I'll be waiting in Otae-san's nostrils Like hell I'd follow you there!! Talking snot is damn disgusting! Toshi Your fly was open We're here, Toshi.
This is Ikezuya.
This will be an intense fight.
Stay focused.
Kondo-san Hmm? What is it? Your snot's going Tarzan on you.
Oh, you're right.
[Teach us!! Ginpachi Sensei.]
We have a question from someone with the pen name Mutaito.
[Note: Based on the Master Roshi's master from Dragon Ball.
.]
I have an uncle in his late 30s, a Madao.
The other day, he came over to my house and ended up staying in my room.
That night, around 2 AM, Madao got completely naked and used a full power Evil Containment Wave on me.
[Note: Master Roshi's technique.
.]
Mr.
Ginpachi, please help him.
Okay, here's your answer.
He's beyond help.
Please get completely naked and use a full power Evil Containment Wave to seal your uncle.
It's sad, but I believe it's the best thing you can do for him.
So Mutaito-san, men in their late 30s are a lot more childish than you realize.
They get worse as they age.
I would love to show you what's going on inside the minds of the staff members who make this show.
[Preview.]
A sunny and bright smile.
A demeanor soft as a spring breeze.
Ana Ketsuno, I turn to this channel every morning just to see that smile.
I'll brave any danger to protect that smile Whoa! But not this kind of danger ! The next episode "Not Losing to the Rain!" [Gin-san is a huge fan of Ana Ketsuno, the once divorced weather girl and face of Edo.
.]
[However, she has a surprising other face as well.
.]
[See you next time.
.]
The Metropolitan Yato Industrial High School.
This is the story of one man who arrived in this school full of savages I'll kill ya.
Bebop.
Kamui-kun! [Kamui - Episode 1.]
Starting today we have a new student, Kamui, joining our class.
Be nice, everyone.
I'm Kamui, from Harusame High.
I only have interest in those who are strong.
I'll take over this class before the day's over, so cheers.
What's that?! You dissin' us?! I'll show you how fearsome Yato High can be! If you get in my way again, I'll kill ya.
Hey! What do you think you're doing on your first day here?! You bastard! You don't get to push my buddy around! Be nice, or I'll kill ya.
Bastard's got cheek.
Abuto, do something! You read that as "Kamui"? [After School.]
Hey.
I said hey.
Can't you hear me? Are the things protruding from your head supposed to be doorknobs? Eh? How about a contest? Huh? Wait, that's The sevens, the hardest part of the times table Uh, six sevens would be 45 No, that's not it In this case, it'd either be 38 or 48 Ungyo! Lend me your fingers! I think I'll transfer [The End.]
Teach, I don't get why we have to study.
Is this going to help us out in the real world? I was spewing a typical adolescent question after failing this important juncture in life eight times.
Yes, I was the only one held back at the metropolitan Yato Industrial High School eight times.
I no longer show up for New Year's gatherings 'cause I can't stand all the stares from the relatives.
Never show up! That was when one particular man arrived before me.
I'll kill ya.
Bebop.
Kamui-kun! [Episode 2.]
Hey, look at that.
It's the three stupid crows from Yato High that've been getting cocky.
The new kid who took control of the third-years on his first day, Kamui.
The member of the old guard who's flunked eight times, Abuto.
The fatty's who's seventeen, believe it or not What's his name again? Beats me I think I'll transfer [The End.]
Say, did you know? That scene from the current ending sequence.
It has me set up as the only one who flunks and doesn't graduate.
How mean is that? That was when one particular man arrived before me.
I'll kill ya.
Bebop.
Kamui-kun! [Episode 3.]
Bah, those bastards from Yoshiwara Trade School Well, just sit back and let your leg heal.
Don't worry about anything else.
Hey! Nincompoop! Don't tell me you're going to go off to get payback by yourself I won't allow you to do that.
This is my problem.
Got nothing to do with you! I'll be back.
Hey, wait! Don't give me that shit! Hold up! Bah, damn idiot.
Mommy, peel a pear for me.
I think I'll make him transfer [The End.]
[The showdown at Hotel Ikezuya: The Kagekiha Anti-Foreigner Ronin Faction versus the Shinsengumi.
.]
[The fate of Edo rests on what Hijikata saw happen to Kondo.]
The enemy is hiding in Hotel Ikezuya.
They plan on executing an armed takeover of the terminal tomorrow.
They're meeting up at Ikezuya to discuss their plans.
I would assume that they're building morale for the upcoming battle with a feast of some sort.
This is our only chance to stop their plan and to bring them all in.
It's a showdown Squad 1 will join me in attacking from the front.
Squads 2 and 3 will follow their captains and attack from the back.
Don't let a single rat escape.
Got it? The fate of Edo rests on our blades.
Every battle we fight may be our last.
Our backs are against the wall.
Never look back.
Focus only on the enemy.
Open a path to the future with your swords.
Let's go! Excuse mewe're booked for the day We're here on official business.
We'll need to have a look inside.
Huh? Uh Toshi, I'm trusting you to watch my back.
Yeah, I got you.
["Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san.
Stupid Me!!".]
Oh He's got snot coming out Nah, it can't be.
He wouldn't have snot coming out now Nope, that's definitely snot.
It's clearly snot.
Should I tell him? But I don't want to do anything that would affect our morale right now But still If I leave it alone and the men notice, that'll also affect the squad's morale Let's go! Yeah! Huh? Snot? No way! Seriously?! Crap I had better tell him What's wrong, Toshi? Why the funny face? Kondo-san Well Even you feel nervous before battles, eh? But there's no need to be ashamed.
It's far more shameful to grow accustomed to killing.
We have no choice but to swing out swords in agony, hoping that we will be able to bring peace one day.
Humans are the only ones who can set other humans straight.
Don't let yourself become a monster, no matter how much blood you shed.
Th-Thanks That helped me snap out of it.
Kondo-san That was a nice speech, but your snot is going Tarzan on you.
Report! Squad 2 has reached the 12th floor! Squad 3 is on the move! Very well.
Squad 1 will head out once squad 3 is in position.
Yes, sir! NoI can't tell him I'd rather die than tell someone who's being serious that he's got snot going Tarzan.
Tarzan would fall into the ravine Can't do it I have to prevent that from happening I'll have to make him aware of the snot in passing instead of pointing it out directly What options do I have? Hey! You lot! Yes, sir! We'll have a piss break before we charge in.
Listen up.
You won't have time once the battle starts.
Take care of your business now.
If you don't piss now, you'll have to hold it in for at least an hour.
Hijikata-san, we didn't come here on a picnic.
Shut up! You're the type of kid who make them stop the bus to piss in the bush, crying, while all the traffic goes by! Hijikata-san, we're not on a bus.
Shut up! I told you to piss, so piss, damn it! Man, this is such a pain.
There goes all the tension.
I already squeezed out every last drop before coming here.
Kondo-san, why don't you join them? Nah, I already took a piss.
You should go wash your face.
It'll help you focus.
Really? I'll be gone for a bit then.
Stay on your guard.
Yeah, don't worry.
Okay, it's all good now.
Once he looks in the mirror, he'll notice Tarzan yelling.
I can only pray that Tarzan will return to the forest before anyone notices.
Okay, I'm focused now.
Let's get going! Yeah! T-Tarzan's come out to New York! Why?! What's going on?! He washed his face, yet his snot's gone from Tarzan to Leviathan?! [Note: Referring to the Leviathan from the "Final Fantasy" video game series.
.]
Hey, check out the commander Isn't there something on his nose? What is that? Isn't it Leviathan? This is bad They're starting to notice Leviathan Fall off! Leviathan, that isn't where you belong! Back you go to the Feymarch! [Note: From Final Fantasy IV for the Nintendo DS.
.]
There it goes! It's definitely gone now! What? Did I catch a cold? N-Now Bahamut's been summoned! Crap! I didn't expect Bahamut to be renting the room next door! Squad 1 has reached their floor! Very well.
Squad 1 will also move out.
Yeah! I-It's impossible to hide now Bahamut and Leviathan They won't stop until everything's destroyed What do I do? So-Sogo! What is it? Take squad 1 and use the emergency stairwell.
I'll join the double dragons, I mean Kondo-san in attacking from the front.
Will the two of you be okay by yourselves? The goal is to confuse the enemy.
You don't need to worry.
I'm willing to die to protect Kondo-san.
Toshi? Let me handle this.
I managed to get rid of the men, but the problem now is how to proceed.
If we charge in, the enemy will see these double dragons.
Huh? Hey, this guy's dripping snot! You should take care of your nose before taking care of patriots! Stop! Don't look! I have to do something before the situation gets ugly Eliminate the double dragons without messing with Kondo-san's serious manner.
Toshi, check that out.
The enemy has people on patrol.
If we're spotted, the enemy will be alerted to our presence, and our ambush will fail.
Yeah, you're right There's no time to get hung up about cleanliness.
I'll just use my hand.
There's no other way to bring down those giants.
Bahamut and Leviathan Which to go for first Given the way he's turned, Leviathan will be difficult Guess I'll start with Bahamut.
Okay! Bahamut just?! What?! Did it sense the impeding danger?! Leviathan's doubled in size instead! What's going on?! Come on! Don't tell me Bahamut and Leviathan are connected in the back? They're a couple? That makes this easy then.
Grab one and they're both goners! That's it! [Note: Odin's trademark attack from FF series.
.]
I'll go for Zantetsuken! My eyes! My eyes! Hey, Toshi! You okay?! Sn-Snot came flying out! Snot came flying at me like a Flare spell! What's going on?! Hey! What're you doing?! Whoa! What's with that sno Whoa! Nice one, Toshi! That was instant! Th-That was close He was about to find out.
Hey, wasn't that guy saying something about sno He wasn't! No, pretty sure I heard sno He must have been talking about snowbells, yeah.
He realized he was about to die, so he wanted to request snowbells at his grave.
Snowbells Damn, that's loud! What's all the noise about What the hell is that s- Socrates! I-It's the Shinsengumi! Onward! Wh-What's with this guy?! He's got all that sn- Soul Society! Hey! That's s- Son Goku! Whoa! S- 'Nothing to worry about! The hell's up with this guy?! He's a monster! Run! You won't get away! Zaki! Crap! Huh? Commander, what's with that s- Yamazaki! You okay?! Who did this to you?! A vase suddenly Zaki Damn them! They won't get away with this! Wait! Hold on! Here.
Your face is covered with the blood that's been splashing around.
Use this to wipe it off.
Your face is the one that's covered with blood.
I said to wipe it off, damn it! You won't be able to fight if it gets into your eye! Yeah, sorry It's true that you're as good as dead if you lose your eyes on the battlefield.
Right, you're done now.
It's over for you this time, damn snot.
H-Hey! What is that?! Why is his snot wiping his face?! Why is the dirtiest part of his face trying to wipe his face clean?! Okay, I'm ready to go.
Let's do this, Toshi! You aren't ready! You're a complete mess! Damn villains, it's on! He has total control of his snot No, I would say that the snot is controlling him What the hell? What is that thing? Stop it.
Stop abusing Kondo-san Get the hell out! Look out! Toshi! Kondo-san! Kondo-san! The snot is gone? I'm sorry.
For deceiving you this whole time Toshi N-No way You're kidding me, the snot You I am the true identity of Isao Kondo.
Snot Nebula 28 [Note: Spoof of the Japanese hero Ultraman and his home Nebula M78.
.]
That is my home galaxy.
I came to investigate Earth, so I commandeered the body of a gorilla, and altered my appearance to allow me to live amongst humans.
That would be me, Isao Kondo.
Once my investigation was done, I was supposed to be blown into a tissue and thrown away.
But before I knew it, five years, ten years had passed The next thing I knew, I was a middle-aged man.
I had so much fun with you guys Sno Kondo-san So everything I was trying to do to help you would have destroyed you? That's how it should be.
It's the fate of snot to be blown into a tissue and throw away.
But I've lived too long I've grown too ugly and fat to be kept inside a nose I wanted you to send me off Toshi, I wanted to be blown into a tissue held by you Can you do me this favorfriend? I'll come after you Next time, I'll also become snot I'll be waiting I'll be waiting in Otae-san's nostrils Like hell I'd follow you there!! Talking snot is damn disgusting! Toshi Your fly was open We're here, Toshi.
This is Ikezuya.
This will be an intense fight.
Stay focused.
Kondo-san Hmm? What is it? Your snot's going Tarzan on you.
Oh, you're right.
[Teach us!! Ginpachi Sensei.]
We have a question from someone with the pen name Mutaito.
[Note: Based on the Master Roshi's master from Dragon Ball.
.]
I have an uncle in his late 30s, a Madao.
The other day, he came over to my house and ended up staying in my room.
That night, around 2 AM, Madao got completely naked and used a full power Evil Containment Wave on me.
[Note: Master Roshi's technique.
.]
Mr.
Ginpachi, please help him.
Okay, here's your answer.
He's beyond help.
Please get completely naked and use a full power Evil Containment Wave to seal your uncle.
It's sad, but I believe it's the best thing you can do for him.
So Mutaito-san, men in their late 30s are a lot more childish than you realize.
They get worse as they age.
I would love to show you what's going on inside the minds of the staff members who make this show.
[Preview.]
A sunny and bright smile.
A demeanor soft as a spring breeze.
Ana Ketsuno, I turn to this channel every morning just to see that smile.
I'll brave any danger to protect that smile Whoa! But not this kind of danger ! The next episode "Not Losing to the Rain!" [Gin-san is a huge fan of Ana Ketsuno, the once divorced weather girl and face of Edo.
.]
[However, she has a surprising other face as well.
.]
[See you next time.
.]