Gintama (2005) s04e51 Episode Script
Everybody's a Santa!
[This episode comes from an end-of-the-year Christmas story that ran in JUMP over New Years.
.]
[The dream of the girl Kagura was playing came true.
He was the real Santa Claus!!.]
The very first very merry contest to determine who the real Santa Claus is! Who's up first? I'll go.
I promise to become Otae-san's Santa.
Okay, stand by then.
Boss lady, can you play the part of mother? Then I'm playing the father? This is a little embarrassing.
I'll never accept Hasegawa-san as my brother-in-law! I'll do it then.
No, I will.
You're supposed to be Santas! And what am I playing? ["Everybody's a Santa".]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Christmas! All done! Mommy, I'm done decorating the Christmas tree.
How wonderful! It was worth the effort! This is a common household that you could find in any country.
How is this a common household?! And why am I the tree?! We were having another common and peaceful Christmas.
What are you two standing like a freeze-frame shot for?! It's annoying! I couldn't move if I wanted to! Mommy, I'm sure that Santa will come this year! He might not come to visit a little girl who sneaks a bite of a meat pie that's for the party.
Geez, Mommy! It was only a joke.
I'll keep it a secret from Santa.
This is annoying! Oh, come on! Stop pretending to be all American! Oh, you're so hopeless.
Go to sleep and wait for Santa! You can't blame her! Since Mommy's meat pie is the best in Texas! We're in Texas?! I'd love to let Santa try some! Oops, if he puts on any weight, his reindeer will complain to us! Her daddy's annoying too! The whole family's being witty and annoying! Look, Mommy! There's a cockroach eating your meat pie! Oh no! He's a cockroach?! What sort of witty cockroach is this?! Wasn't he supposed to be the father?! Must be the head of all those cockroaches! The cockroach daddy?! Why is he even here then?! Where's the real daddy then?! Let us offer this pie to Daddy.
Why is there a Buddhist altar in Texas? Daddy loved his meat pies! I'm sure he'll appreciate this! How could he?! It's a cockroach pie now! My daddy was a hero in Petnam.
On Christmas Day five years ago, I didn't receive the present I asked for.
Instead, I received notice that Daddy had been killed in action.
Say, this is starting to sound unnecessarily depressing.
In the middle of battle, something fell from Daddy's pocket.
He returned for it, only to be riddled by bullets.
Daddy's corpse was beyond recognition, from all the pie That was just a pie-throwing contest! How was he killed in action?! What kind of hero was your daddy?! Daddy's pie-covered hand was clutching his present for me, the meat pie I'd asked for.
Another pie?! Isn't that enough?! If you think that mentioning meat pies makes you sound American, you're completely wrong! This will be the fifth Christmas since.
I still haven't gotten my chance to eat that meat pie.
Of course you can't! It's all looking like the Sea of Corruption from "Nausicaa"! I knew the truth all along.
It won't matter if Santa comes, I can no longer have what I want.
What the hell do you want here?! What present is Santa supposed to bring you?! The next morning, the girl woke up to find That her meat pie, a memento of her father, had been eaten.
Oh my god! How awful! We've been visited by a thief, not Santa! The worst possible morning.
Wow, I don't believe this! Jesus Christ! The worst possible Christmas.
Goddamn it! But oddly enough, she felt at peace.
I don't believe it! Like a curse had been lifted from her.
Like her father had given her a push to move on.
God must have eaten the pie for her.
The girl chuckled as she pictured God getting an upset stomach.
But it hadn't been eaten by God or even a thief.
["Merry Christmas".]
Santa Claus? The hell?! How is that a present?! You don't understand the agony I endured to release her from her suffering? You released a whole lotta crap in the toilet, that's what you did! That was me leaving a calling card like in Cat's Eye.
[Note: From the manga series "Cat's Eye.
".]
We don't want a cat's crap! What's the judge's opinion?! Death?! Otae-san, what's with that?! Until death do us part, right?! That must be it, right?! Kagura-chan, why did you give a relatively high score? The lead heroine performed admirably.
I'm interested in seeing her perform more.
That was you! Hasegawa-san, isn't the highest possible score a 10? Why did you give him a 30? If there's one cockroach around, there's thirty more hiding.
Is that some kind of warning?! Who needs thirty old men! Okay, I'll go next.
We'll need you to stand by again.
Say Can I get a better role this time? Would you like a pachi? Please, just one is enough.
Would you like a pachi? I'm just a common little pachi girl that you could find in any city.
The hell is a little pachi girl?! Today is Christmas Eve.
Everyone walking around town looks so happy, but I'm selling pachi here, as always.
I have to in order to stay alive.
Could you explain what you mean by a pachi?! Would you like a pachi? No thanks.
Would you like a pachi? That stuff is worthless.
And once again, I wasn't able to sell any pachi today.
This is kinda depressing! Not to mention Sis is playing every other part! I won't be able to go home now.
If I go home, he'll just I said that I won't let you in until you've sold all those pachi! Go make me more beer money! Useless girl! I see, your worthless old man is working you to the bone.
You won't be able to go home then.
No more I don't want to go back to a roach-infested house! Again?! It's cold I desperately tried to sell pachi as I slowly freeze in this weather, but my body would no longer move.
Which one of us looks colder here, huh?! To keep myself from drifting off, I decided to use one pachi.
It's wrong to use merchandise, but I'm sure that God will forgive me this one sin.
A present from me, for myself.
Huh? You use pachi to keep yourself warm? Okay, sure.
If you're that cold, go ahead and use me.
What do I do? A pachi is just a punching bag?! I felt warmer after using a pachi.
Only because you're moving your body! My body and soul feel all warm and fuzzy.
How can you feel warm and fuzzy when you're doing something so cold-blooded?! And then something odd happened.
Every time I used a pachi, all kinds of dinner dishes appeared on a Christmas table.
It may have been a hallucination.
But I was so happy that I kept using pachi.
More phantoms appeared.
Green onions, konjac, monjayaki, shirataki noodles, monjayaki, monjayaki, monjayaki Half of those are the same thing! I said I would only use one, before I knew it, I was sparring with two or three of them.
You just said sparring, yeah? You just admitted that this is sparring, yeah? I'll die! At this rate, the pachi and little pachi girl will all die! Santa! This girl doesn't matter, but the pachi! Save the pachi at least! Those are capable of making anything appear? Huh?! I'm asking if they can make anything, even Tae-chan, appear.
Huh? The next day, on the morning after Christmas Eve, the people walking through town discovered a pile of pachi ashes, and the corpses of two burnt out boxers with smiles on their face.
Why did Santa join in?! Nobody was saved here! At the very least, the girl and I were saved.
Since we were able to see our wishes granted in the end.
Hell no! How could I possibly hurl up Sis?! What do you think, judges? Hey! [Watanabe Entertainment.]
When did this turn into Star Search?! [PORIPRO.]
I was impressed by her ability to play both major characters and minor roles.
We would love to hire the girl with a ponytail.
These people aren't even watching Santa! They're only watching themselves! And you! I said that the highest possible score is a 10! If there's a Daira Hara sighting, spot them 3,000 points.
[Note: Reference to the Japanese show "QUIZ Derby".]
Is that even a warning?! Does that ever happen?! Honestly, this is painful to watch.
I'll go next.
You'll see that I'm on an entirely different level from the rest of you.
But I have a request to make.
What's that? I won't be delivering a present to you.
Do you mind if I deliver a present to the boy in the glasses? Huh? I don't really mind.
Shinpachi, wanna take a turn? It's fine with me Then please do.
Let's get started! The world had shifted to the Christmas season.
The people walking around town were all in a festive mood.
As always, there was no change in my world.
[Tsu.]
In the past, I used to think that something wonderful might happen for no real reason, but nothing ever happened.
Or so I thought.
Ouch, I had a little mishap with the reindeer.
Merry Christmas, master.
One, two, Sa-chan! This feels like a romantic comedy I've seen before! [Planning by: Ayame Sarutobi.]
Nice to meet you, master.
I am a spectacled ninja Santa robot.
Sa-chan for short.
I've come from the future to grant the fantasies of a helpless cherry boy.
Now, Shinpachi-kun.
What do you want to do? Want me to whip you? Or smack me? Or do you want to be hit, thinking you're letting me hit? Or do you want to smack me thinking you're being forced to hit I want to smack you hard! I knew something was up when you asked for a switch to Shin-chan.
You're gonna throw yourself on a boy in puberty to get the job done, you slut?! Don't teach my little brother your dirty ways! Oh, why if it isn't Shinpachi-kun's stepsister, Otae-san.
The skank who takes advantage of your shared living arrangements to run into each other in the bathroom and the like.
The hell I would! We're siblings by blood! You can go hit on the idiot with silver hair! I'm sucking it up and doing this so I can go hit on the idiot with silver hair! I'm smacking this young ass so I can become Santa and have my way! The hell are you doing?! What is this? Hey, your brother's room is all sticky.
Ew, Shin-chan.
What were you doing in your room? Don't make it sound like I'm doing something bad here! I know noth [Super-strength Roach Motel.]
A tale of three cockroaches.
We just got thrown into that category by force! My name is Kagura.
A high school girl in the spring of youth.
The rest of the world is excited about Christmas and love and whatever, but that doesn't matter to me! I'm an energetic girl who's only interested in eating! She took back control! She's moving on with her story! And now, there's finally been a change in my life.
That hurt.
Watch where you're going.
Yes After meeting him She somehow dragged the old guys into this! You can wear red clothing and deliver presents, but that doesn't necessarily make you Santa.
It's about spirit.
The soul of a Santa that helps children dream.
So his idea is to interject himself into a performance so he can deliver his present in a dramatic fashion He really is the real Santa.
He easily over came this hurdle.
I don't believe this! You run into a lady and don't even apologize?! Which one of you ran into me?! Lady? Where's this lady you speak of? I don't recall transferring to a countryside school with horses.
All I see is an uppity filly.
This some kind of stable for fillies? You were talking at the same time so I have no idea what you said.
Could you shut up for a second? Could you keep quiet for a moment? Well, I was the one who ran into you.
Don't interfere with my scripted scenario, old timer! The filly belongs to everyone.
She isn't yours.
Is he using the same "the new transfer student in Santa" plan as I am? I said that I ran into her! No, it was me! No, me! Me! It was me! Uh-oh, that's the bell! What?! Not good! At this rate I would like to introduce the new transfer student.
I'm Santa.
Nice to meet Ah! You're the guy from earlier! That event won't happen! What's with the parade of cliches?! I'm the only transfer student they need! Don't give me that crap! I'm the transfer student! Okay, I'd like to introduce some new friends who are going to be joining us.
I'm Gin-Santa.
I'm Ol'Santa.
Damn, couldn't lose him.
Oh well.
At least I wasn't late I'm Kondo-Santa.
I'm Kyu-chanta.
I'm Sa-chan.
Everybody get along.
How many transfer students are there?! And one of them is completely sticky! Pleasure.
Hey, is there anybody you like? This classmate is also sticky! What's wrong with Class 3-G?! Bastards They still haven't given up on being Santa? But it's too late! I've already met Kagura once.
We're already tied together by destiny.
Young girls are suckers for destiny.
Oh! It's you! See? You've showed yourself again, damn cockroach! Him?! He introduced the transfer students, but he's still a cockroach?! He's been bugging me since I was in Texas.
Such a drag Texas?! These stories are tied together?! Didn't you die once?! Oh, he followed you all the way to Japan.
What a tough cockroach.
What is this? I'm losing to a cockroach? The cockroach is the one that's being reunited by destiny? He may have been watching over you this entire time.
Stop that, Tae.
It's not like that.
That's just ridiculous.
He couldn't have been protecting me.
Wait, what is this? He would always show up dirty, and I would hit him with my slipper.
Where is this going? But he would always show up on the nights when I felt lonely.
Those Christmas nights when I was sad.
He may have come to keep me from being alone No, that can't be it! Next thing I knew, I found myself always staring at the cockroach's brilliance.
Listen up.
If there's one cockroach around, there's thirty.
Why is a cockroach teaching class?! And after school Bye, Mr.
Cockroach! Stay away from roach motels.
The hell is Mr.
Cockroach supposed to mean?! I can't tell if that's a slander like Porky Gorilla or a term of endearment! [Note: Butagorilla (Porky Gorilla) is a character from the manga "Kiteretsu Daihyakka".]
My chest hurts So tight I'm about to throw up Many people throw up after seeing a cockroach! This islove! The hell are you talking about?! Student and cockroach I knew this love would never work.
But I wanted to tell him my feelings.
Tell the cockroach how I feel Say, everybody know what you're doing for Christmas Eve? Not really.
Watch Santa Akashiya and go to sleep.
[Note: Japanese talk show that airs at the end of year.
.]
The Santas have lost interest! A Santa watching Santa Akashiya?! I'm spending Christmas Eve with Otae-san.
What a coincidence.
So am I.
Right? Gotta spend Christmas with Otae-san.
What did you two reappear for, anyway?! What about you, Kagura-chan? Nothing really.
Why am I the only one who got skipped over?! Is that a present for someone? Oh, making us jealous, huh? Who's it for? You've got it wrong! I was going to wear it myself.
Oh, you should do that part like this.
You're amazing, Otae-chan! You can knit.
I'm so bad at this I happen to be making something myself right now.
What?! Otae-san is knitting something?! Knitting what?! For who?! There's something coming out of her bag.
Ah! You're wrong! This is, um That was when I saw something I wasn't supposed to.
There were large initials stitched on there "G.
" [Note: "G" is the initial for cockroach (gokiburi) in Japanese.
.]
Why?! Why would Sis also fall for Roach Guy?! Otae-chan, have you felt this way since we were in Texas? Tae-chan, who is this "G.
"?! It stands for Gorilla, right?! That'd be me, right?! You trying to lay hands on my Gin-san?! Ain't happening! One of you couldn't be any more wrong! Damn it! I can't take any more of this crap! Sorry, but I agree! Christmas can go to hell! The Santas just rejected Christmas! Did I do somethingwrong? You didn't do anything wrong.
Nobody's wrong here.
What is this?! And what role are you guys playing?! You're Santas, right? You're really Santas, right?! I became scared I had a feeling that something would change if I told G.
how I felt If that were to destroy this irreplaceable friendship Otae-chan, I On Christmas Eve they're cleaning the whole school.
There won't be a single cockroach left alive.
So, since this is the end We both have to try our best.
Otae-chan No matter what happens, I will always be your friend.
Same here.
They're both stubborn fools.
It won't be the same after you've fought over a man.
Humans only maintain relationships that bring benefits.
The same goes for Santa.
If nobody believes in us, we can't help them dream.
There is no real Santa in this world.
Done pretending to be Santa, huh? Where are you two going?! Sure, we're nothing like Santa.
But it's too early to say that Santa doesn't exist.
We're off to see The real Santa and his indiscriminate love.
After that, we spent sleepless nights knitting away in preparation for Christmas Eve.
Because we're friends, I can't lose.
Because we're friends, I have to do my best.
But the harder I tried, the more the threads would fray.
We weren't making any progress.
And it was the morning of Christmas Eve.
Oh no! I fell asleep! What do I do? I'm only half-done There we found a finished knitting Half of it was roughly done and unattractive, but it looked very warm [Merry Christmas.]
It's all clean now.
We'll feel clean as we greet the new year! Oh yeah.
Where are Kagura-chan and Otae-chan? No idea.
I think they're absent today.
[Year-3 Class-G.]
Ew! A cockroach! Why are you here? What about the mittens? And what about your scarf, Kagura-chan? I went back to sleep and when I woke up, it was noon.
What a coincidence.
Same here.
And I just realized that G.
doesn't have to mean Cockroach.
To my girlfriend.
That was impressive.
You didn't seek anything in return for your efforts while salvaging the friendship.
You win.
You're the real No.
We aren't Santas.
They're the real Santas.
The hell was that?! How is this a contest for deciding who's Santa?! You're stealing all the glory! [I'm Santa.]
When we all love and support one another, [I'm Santa.]
[I'm Santa.]
[I'm Santa.]
[I'm Santa.]
[I'm Cockroach.]
everybody's a Santa.
Shut up! You're all frickin' cockroaches! No more of this! I'm leaving! A complete waste of time.
Hey, wait up! Hold on a sec! Gin-chan.
Everybody.
And Pappy.
Happy Merry Last Episode.
[Thank you kindly for four years of support.
.]
[See you again someday.]
.]
[The dream of the girl Kagura was playing came true.
He was the real Santa Claus!!.]
The very first very merry contest to determine who the real Santa Claus is! Who's up first? I'll go.
I promise to become Otae-san's Santa.
Okay, stand by then.
Boss lady, can you play the part of mother? Then I'm playing the father? This is a little embarrassing.
I'll never accept Hasegawa-san as my brother-in-law! I'll do it then.
No, I will.
You're supposed to be Santas! And what am I playing? ["Everybody's a Santa".]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Christmas! All done! Mommy, I'm done decorating the Christmas tree.
How wonderful! It was worth the effort! This is a common household that you could find in any country.
How is this a common household?! And why am I the tree?! We were having another common and peaceful Christmas.
What are you two standing like a freeze-frame shot for?! It's annoying! I couldn't move if I wanted to! Mommy, I'm sure that Santa will come this year! He might not come to visit a little girl who sneaks a bite of a meat pie that's for the party.
Geez, Mommy! It was only a joke.
I'll keep it a secret from Santa.
This is annoying! Oh, come on! Stop pretending to be all American! Oh, you're so hopeless.
Go to sleep and wait for Santa! You can't blame her! Since Mommy's meat pie is the best in Texas! We're in Texas?! I'd love to let Santa try some! Oops, if he puts on any weight, his reindeer will complain to us! Her daddy's annoying too! The whole family's being witty and annoying! Look, Mommy! There's a cockroach eating your meat pie! Oh no! He's a cockroach?! What sort of witty cockroach is this?! Wasn't he supposed to be the father?! Must be the head of all those cockroaches! The cockroach daddy?! Why is he even here then?! Where's the real daddy then?! Let us offer this pie to Daddy.
Why is there a Buddhist altar in Texas? Daddy loved his meat pies! I'm sure he'll appreciate this! How could he?! It's a cockroach pie now! My daddy was a hero in Petnam.
On Christmas Day five years ago, I didn't receive the present I asked for.
Instead, I received notice that Daddy had been killed in action.
Say, this is starting to sound unnecessarily depressing.
In the middle of battle, something fell from Daddy's pocket.
He returned for it, only to be riddled by bullets.
Daddy's corpse was beyond recognition, from all the pie That was just a pie-throwing contest! How was he killed in action?! What kind of hero was your daddy?! Daddy's pie-covered hand was clutching his present for me, the meat pie I'd asked for.
Another pie?! Isn't that enough?! If you think that mentioning meat pies makes you sound American, you're completely wrong! This will be the fifth Christmas since.
I still haven't gotten my chance to eat that meat pie.
Of course you can't! It's all looking like the Sea of Corruption from "Nausicaa"! I knew the truth all along.
It won't matter if Santa comes, I can no longer have what I want.
What the hell do you want here?! What present is Santa supposed to bring you?! The next morning, the girl woke up to find That her meat pie, a memento of her father, had been eaten.
Oh my god! How awful! We've been visited by a thief, not Santa! The worst possible morning.
Wow, I don't believe this! Jesus Christ! The worst possible Christmas.
Goddamn it! But oddly enough, she felt at peace.
I don't believe it! Like a curse had been lifted from her.
Like her father had given her a push to move on.
God must have eaten the pie for her.
The girl chuckled as she pictured God getting an upset stomach.
But it hadn't been eaten by God or even a thief.
["Merry Christmas".]
Santa Claus? The hell?! How is that a present?! You don't understand the agony I endured to release her from her suffering? You released a whole lotta crap in the toilet, that's what you did! That was me leaving a calling card like in Cat's Eye.
[Note: From the manga series "Cat's Eye.
".]
We don't want a cat's crap! What's the judge's opinion?! Death?! Otae-san, what's with that?! Until death do us part, right?! That must be it, right?! Kagura-chan, why did you give a relatively high score? The lead heroine performed admirably.
I'm interested in seeing her perform more.
That was you! Hasegawa-san, isn't the highest possible score a 10? Why did you give him a 30? If there's one cockroach around, there's thirty more hiding.
Is that some kind of warning?! Who needs thirty old men! Okay, I'll go next.
We'll need you to stand by again.
Say Can I get a better role this time? Would you like a pachi? Please, just one is enough.
Would you like a pachi? I'm just a common little pachi girl that you could find in any city.
The hell is a little pachi girl?! Today is Christmas Eve.
Everyone walking around town looks so happy, but I'm selling pachi here, as always.
I have to in order to stay alive.
Could you explain what you mean by a pachi?! Would you like a pachi? No thanks.
Would you like a pachi? That stuff is worthless.
And once again, I wasn't able to sell any pachi today.
This is kinda depressing! Not to mention Sis is playing every other part! I won't be able to go home now.
If I go home, he'll just I said that I won't let you in until you've sold all those pachi! Go make me more beer money! Useless girl! I see, your worthless old man is working you to the bone.
You won't be able to go home then.
No more I don't want to go back to a roach-infested house! Again?! It's cold I desperately tried to sell pachi as I slowly freeze in this weather, but my body would no longer move.
Which one of us looks colder here, huh?! To keep myself from drifting off, I decided to use one pachi.
It's wrong to use merchandise, but I'm sure that God will forgive me this one sin.
A present from me, for myself.
Huh? You use pachi to keep yourself warm? Okay, sure.
If you're that cold, go ahead and use me.
What do I do? A pachi is just a punching bag?! I felt warmer after using a pachi.
Only because you're moving your body! My body and soul feel all warm and fuzzy.
How can you feel warm and fuzzy when you're doing something so cold-blooded?! And then something odd happened.
Every time I used a pachi, all kinds of dinner dishes appeared on a Christmas table.
It may have been a hallucination.
But I was so happy that I kept using pachi.
More phantoms appeared.
Green onions, konjac, monjayaki, shirataki noodles, monjayaki, monjayaki, monjayaki Half of those are the same thing! I said I would only use one, before I knew it, I was sparring with two or three of them.
You just said sparring, yeah? You just admitted that this is sparring, yeah? I'll die! At this rate, the pachi and little pachi girl will all die! Santa! This girl doesn't matter, but the pachi! Save the pachi at least! Those are capable of making anything appear? Huh?! I'm asking if they can make anything, even Tae-chan, appear.
Huh? The next day, on the morning after Christmas Eve, the people walking through town discovered a pile of pachi ashes, and the corpses of two burnt out boxers with smiles on their face.
Why did Santa join in?! Nobody was saved here! At the very least, the girl and I were saved.
Since we were able to see our wishes granted in the end.
Hell no! How could I possibly hurl up Sis?! What do you think, judges? Hey! [Watanabe Entertainment.]
When did this turn into Star Search?! [PORIPRO.]
I was impressed by her ability to play both major characters and minor roles.
We would love to hire the girl with a ponytail.
These people aren't even watching Santa! They're only watching themselves! And you! I said that the highest possible score is a 10! If there's a Daira Hara sighting, spot them 3,000 points.
[Note: Reference to the Japanese show "QUIZ Derby".]
Is that even a warning?! Does that ever happen?! Honestly, this is painful to watch.
I'll go next.
You'll see that I'm on an entirely different level from the rest of you.
But I have a request to make.
What's that? I won't be delivering a present to you.
Do you mind if I deliver a present to the boy in the glasses? Huh? I don't really mind.
Shinpachi, wanna take a turn? It's fine with me Then please do.
Let's get started! The world had shifted to the Christmas season.
The people walking around town were all in a festive mood.
As always, there was no change in my world.
[Tsu.]
In the past, I used to think that something wonderful might happen for no real reason, but nothing ever happened.
Or so I thought.
Ouch, I had a little mishap with the reindeer.
Merry Christmas, master.
One, two, Sa-chan! This feels like a romantic comedy I've seen before! [Planning by: Ayame Sarutobi.]
Nice to meet you, master.
I am a spectacled ninja Santa robot.
Sa-chan for short.
I've come from the future to grant the fantasies of a helpless cherry boy.
Now, Shinpachi-kun.
What do you want to do? Want me to whip you? Or smack me? Or do you want to be hit, thinking you're letting me hit? Or do you want to smack me thinking you're being forced to hit I want to smack you hard! I knew something was up when you asked for a switch to Shin-chan.
You're gonna throw yourself on a boy in puberty to get the job done, you slut?! Don't teach my little brother your dirty ways! Oh, why if it isn't Shinpachi-kun's stepsister, Otae-san.
The skank who takes advantage of your shared living arrangements to run into each other in the bathroom and the like.
The hell I would! We're siblings by blood! You can go hit on the idiot with silver hair! I'm sucking it up and doing this so I can go hit on the idiot with silver hair! I'm smacking this young ass so I can become Santa and have my way! The hell are you doing?! What is this? Hey, your brother's room is all sticky.
Ew, Shin-chan.
What were you doing in your room? Don't make it sound like I'm doing something bad here! I know noth [Super-strength Roach Motel.]
A tale of three cockroaches.
We just got thrown into that category by force! My name is Kagura.
A high school girl in the spring of youth.
The rest of the world is excited about Christmas and love and whatever, but that doesn't matter to me! I'm an energetic girl who's only interested in eating! She took back control! She's moving on with her story! And now, there's finally been a change in my life.
That hurt.
Watch where you're going.
Yes After meeting him She somehow dragged the old guys into this! You can wear red clothing and deliver presents, but that doesn't necessarily make you Santa.
It's about spirit.
The soul of a Santa that helps children dream.
So his idea is to interject himself into a performance so he can deliver his present in a dramatic fashion He really is the real Santa.
He easily over came this hurdle.
I don't believe this! You run into a lady and don't even apologize?! Which one of you ran into me?! Lady? Where's this lady you speak of? I don't recall transferring to a countryside school with horses.
All I see is an uppity filly.
This some kind of stable for fillies? You were talking at the same time so I have no idea what you said.
Could you shut up for a second? Could you keep quiet for a moment? Well, I was the one who ran into you.
Don't interfere with my scripted scenario, old timer! The filly belongs to everyone.
She isn't yours.
Is he using the same "the new transfer student in Santa" plan as I am? I said that I ran into her! No, it was me! No, me! Me! It was me! Uh-oh, that's the bell! What?! Not good! At this rate I would like to introduce the new transfer student.
I'm Santa.
Nice to meet Ah! You're the guy from earlier! That event won't happen! What's with the parade of cliches?! I'm the only transfer student they need! Don't give me that crap! I'm the transfer student! Okay, I'd like to introduce some new friends who are going to be joining us.
I'm Gin-Santa.
I'm Ol'Santa.
Damn, couldn't lose him.
Oh well.
At least I wasn't late I'm Kondo-Santa.
I'm Kyu-chanta.
I'm Sa-chan.
Everybody get along.
How many transfer students are there?! And one of them is completely sticky! Pleasure.
Hey, is there anybody you like? This classmate is also sticky! What's wrong with Class 3-G?! Bastards They still haven't given up on being Santa? But it's too late! I've already met Kagura once.
We're already tied together by destiny.
Young girls are suckers for destiny.
Oh! It's you! See? You've showed yourself again, damn cockroach! Him?! He introduced the transfer students, but he's still a cockroach?! He's been bugging me since I was in Texas.
Such a drag Texas?! These stories are tied together?! Didn't you die once?! Oh, he followed you all the way to Japan.
What a tough cockroach.
What is this? I'm losing to a cockroach? The cockroach is the one that's being reunited by destiny? He may have been watching over you this entire time.
Stop that, Tae.
It's not like that.
That's just ridiculous.
He couldn't have been protecting me.
Wait, what is this? He would always show up dirty, and I would hit him with my slipper.
Where is this going? But he would always show up on the nights when I felt lonely.
Those Christmas nights when I was sad.
He may have come to keep me from being alone No, that can't be it! Next thing I knew, I found myself always staring at the cockroach's brilliance.
Listen up.
If there's one cockroach around, there's thirty.
Why is a cockroach teaching class?! And after school Bye, Mr.
Cockroach! Stay away from roach motels.
The hell is Mr.
Cockroach supposed to mean?! I can't tell if that's a slander like Porky Gorilla or a term of endearment! [Note: Butagorilla (Porky Gorilla) is a character from the manga "Kiteretsu Daihyakka".]
My chest hurts So tight I'm about to throw up Many people throw up after seeing a cockroach! This islove! The hell are you talking about?! Student and cockroach I knew this love would never work.
But I wanted to tell him my feelings.
Tell the cockroach how I feel Say, everybody know what you're doing for Christmas Eve? Not really.
Watch Santa Akashiya and go to sleep.
[Note: Japanese talk show that airs at the end of year.
.]
The Santas have lost interest! A Santa watching Santa Akashiya?! I'm spending Christmas Eve with Otae-san.
What a coincidence.
So am I.
Right? Gotta spend Christmas with Otae-san.
What did you two reappear for, anyway?! What about you, Kagura-chan? Nothing really.
Why am I the only one who got skipped over?! Is that a present for someone? Oh, making us jealous, huh? Who's it for? You've got it wrong! I was going to wear it myself.
Oh, you should do that part like this.
You're amazing, Otae-chan! You can knit.
I'm so bad at this I happen to be making something myself right now.
What?! Otae-san is knitting something?! Knitting what?! For who?! There's something coming out of her bag.
Ah! You're wrong! This is, um That was when I saw something I wasn't supposed to.
There were large initials stitched on there "G.
" [Note: "G" is the initial for cockroach (gokiburi) in Japanese.
.]
Why?! Why would Sis also fall for Roach Guy?! Otae-chan, have you felt this way since we were in Texas? Tae-chan, who is this "G.
"?! It stands for Gorilla, right?! That'd be me, right?! You trying to lay hands on my Gin-san?! Ain't happening! One of you couldn't be any more wrong! Damn it! I can't take any more of this crap! Sorry, but I agree! Christmas can go to hell! The Santas just rejected Christmas! Did I do somethingwrong? You didn't do anything wrong.
Nobody's wrong here.
What is this?! And what role are you guys playing?! You're Santas, right? You're really Santas, right?! I became scared I had a feeling that something would change if I told G.
how I felt If that were to destroy this irreplaceable friendship Otae-chan, I On Christmas Eve they're cleaning the whole school.
There won't be a single cockroach left alive.
So, since this is the end We both have to try our best.
Otae-chan No matter what happens, I will always be your friend.
Same here.
They're both stubborn fools.
It won't be the same after you've fought over a man.
Humans only maintain relationships that bring benefits.
The same goes for Santa.
If nobody believes in us, we can't help them dream.
There is no real Santa in this world.
Done pretending to be Santa, huh? Where are you two going?! Sure, we're nothing like Santa.
But it's too early to say that Santa doesn't exist.
We're off to see The real Santa and his indiscriminate love.
After that, we spent sleepless nights knitting away in preparation for Christmas Eve.
Because we're friends, I can't lose.
Because we're friends, I have to do my best.
But the harder I tried, the more the threads would fray.
We weren't making any progress.
And it was the morning of Christmas Eve.
Oh no! I fell asleep! What do I do? I'm only half-done There we found a finished knitting Half of it was roughly done and unattractive, but it looked very warm [Merry Christmas.]
It's all clean now.
We'll feel clean as we greet the new year! Oh yeah.
Where are Kagura-chan and Otae-chan? No idea.
I think they're absent today.
[Year-3 Class-G.]
Ew! A cockroach! Why are you here? What about the mittens? And what about your scarf, Kagura-chan? I went back to sleep and when I woke up, it was noon.
What a coincidence.
Same here.
And I just realized that G.
doesn't have to mean Cockroach.
To my girlfriend.
That was impressive.
You didn't seek anything in return for your efforts while salvaging the friendship.
You win.
You're the real No.
We aren't Santas.
They're the real Santas.
The hell was that?! How is this a contest for deciding who's Santa?! You're stealing all the glory! [I'm Santa.]
When we all love and support one another, [I'm Santa.]
[I'm Santa.]
[I'm Santa.]
[I'm Santa.]
[I'm Cockroach.]
everybody's a Santa.
Shut up! You're all frickin' cockroaches! No more of this! I'm leaving! A complete waste of time.
Hey, wait up! Hold on a sec! Gin-chan.
Everybody.
And Pappy.
Happy Merry Last Episode.
[Thank you kindly for four years of support.
.]
[See you again someday.]