Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007) s05e00 Episode Script
A Christmas Story
Children: (Yelling) Knock it off! Take that Is that my group or yours? Maybe it's a crusade.
Okay, knock it off.
You knock it off.
Oh! Hey, hey, hey! - Oh! Come on! - Break it up, break it Abid, you know better than this.
Yes, Abid.
I'm very disappointed in you.
What is going on here? We're getting ready for halaqa class and he tried to kick us out.
It's our turn here.
It's our turn to put up our decorations.
Who cares about your stupid decorations? They're not stupid! Abid, that was uncalled for.
See? Stupid! Hey Thomas, unnecessary.
Actually, the lad makes a good point.
Look guys, is it worth fighting over a few decorations? Well, to be fair, this one is rather stupid.
Actually Oh, this, uh (Laugh) reminds me of a fight that Reverend Magee and I had back in the day.
What? You and Reverend Pushover? I thought you never fought.
Just this once, but it was a doozy.
Oh, how bad could it be? (Sigh) I'm not proud of it, but that was the year that Christmas almost didn't come to Mercy.
( ) Little Mosque on the Prairie 5x00 A Christmas Story Well, well, well.
I knew it.
Knew what? That underneath all that love and understanding, you secretly hated us Christians and our Christian ways.
That's not true, everyone.
Right, so there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you declared a jihad on Christmas? It's not like that.
Guys, sit down.
I'll explain.
As much as I love stories about the desecration of our holiest day.
I think we'll pass.
Come on, kids.
I'd like to hear it.
Me too.
Fine, yes.
Let's take a walk down hideous memory lane.
Well guys, it was the first year I was here, and the first year the mosque was in the church, and there were still growing pains.
Ah yes, you see kids, the Christians resented having to share their space with heathens and their strange primitive customs.
I wouldn't put it that way.
Ah, so it was the Muslims who were up in arms about having to have their mosque in a den of peace- loving infidels? Excuse me.
Well, are you going to tell the story or not? It was just a simple misunderstanding.
Oh.
Who started it? Who do you think? Baber: I am so sick of these Christians! Anything specific this time? Yes.
I saw one of them, he was crossing himself in the hallway of our mosque! Don't you mean, their church? That's another thing.
We have to get along if we want to make this work.
They are so intolerant.
Why can't they realize that Islam is the one true faith and that they are just simply misguided fools? Perhaps because they are so intolerant.
Exactly.
And now that it's Christmas, It's their chance to get even Christian- er.
I don't think that's possible.
Faisal: I am so sick of these Christians.
Oh, not you too, Faisal.
Yes me too, too! Well, you're just going to have to get used to it.
I hate getting used to things.
Yes, this is a church.
But, through those doors is our mosque.
And as your new Imam, I promise you nothing, nothing can take that away from us.
Choir: (Singing) of comfort and joy Comfort and joy Oh- oh, tidings of comfort and You were saying? What do you think you were doing in our mosque? Baber, I will handle this.
What were you doing in there? Well, if you have to ask, I guess we weren't doing it very well! (Wheezing laugh) (Clearing throat) Uh, a little choir practice.
Don't you usually practice your choir somewhere else? Like, I don't know, your church? Well we would, but our theatre group's in there, rehearsing our big Christmas pageant.
Well, why don't you wait until they're done? Oh, they need as much rehearsal as they can get.
Our manger is a mess, we only have two wise men, and Billy Derkins is totally overthinking his character.
I mean, how difficult can it be to play a donkey? That is no reason that we should have to put up with your religious yowling.
Yowling? Those are Christmas carols.
They are annoying! And catchy.
I cannot get them out of my head.
Tidings of comfort and (Groan) Well, I never.
- Oh, yes you did.
In our mosque.
- In our church! Guys, please settle down.
Settle down? You should settle up! You are supposed to be our Imam.
I am your Imam.
Then start acting like it! Gee, Amaar.
We didn't mean to give offence.
I know you didn't.
It's just that our annual Christmas bash is right around the corner.
It's kind of a big thing.
And we just thought if we didn't interrupt your prayers, you wouldn't mind.
Oh we mind.
- We mind bi-i-ig time.
- Okay.
All right.
I'm sorry.
Don't apologize to them! They're our guests and they should act like it.
Actually, we're your tenants.
And it is our space.
Amaar is right.
Won't happen again.
Thank you.
- Have a good day.
- Mrs.
Wispinski: Thank you.
Rayyan: Amaar.
Salaam aleikum.
Oh, waleikum salaam, Rayyan.
- Um, nice to see you here.
- Yeah.
You getting used to this prairie winter? Oh, I don't think I'll ever get used to it, but it is beautiful.
Mmm- hmm, sort of like walking in a winter wonderland? Ah, you heard.
That you kicked the Anglicans out of the mosque? Maybe.
I wouldn't say kicked out.
- Well, I'm impressed.
- You are? Yeah, it's nice to know that our new Imam is willing to stand up for his congregation.
Well, what can I say? When I see something that's important for the mosque - I put my foot down.
- Hmm.
( ) - Ahh - And how's that going for you? Great.
I wonder if Baber's seen this.
Baber: Astaghfirullah! I would say yes.
What are you Christians Ah, ah, ah! Reverend Magee.
Hello, Amaar.
Merry Christmas.
Hello.
Oh, that's right.
You don't celebrate Christmas.
No, we're fine with Christmas.
We're just a little less fine with the holly outside our prayer hall.
You don't like holly? Who doesn't like holly? It is Christian poison ivy.
- Oh! - Actually, it's a pagan symbol.
Come to think of it, why do we put it up? Well, it's not just the holly.
Oh, it's the lights isn't it? They're not supposed to blink like that.
I think I can fix it if I take this light out.
Oh perhaps it's another one.
It's not the lights, it's the fact they're in our hallway.
On the door to our mosque.
We just thought as long as we stayed out of your prayer hall, but perhaps we went too far.
I think so.
We'll de- holiday your hallway.
Thank you.
Oh, and to make it up to you, we'd like to invite all of you to our big holiday bash.
What? Why? They hate Christmas! For once she is right.
But, we would hate to be excluded more.
Reluctantly, we accept.
- No, no, we'd love to come.
- Thank you.
Wonderful.
You can eat your weight in shortbread.
It'll be in the community room this Friday night.
Wow, those lights are annoying.
(Electrical clicking) Maybe I'll just unplug those.
Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Sarah.
- I could sure use a home-cooked meal.
- Aw.
Well, you earned it after today.
You should have seen him.
Ah, she's exaggerating.
No, I'm not.
You were like Salahuddin at the Battle of Hattin.
Oh, I wouldn't say Salahuddin.
All right, well, Salahuddin- like.
Wonderful.
What did you do? He asked the Anglicans to take their decorations out of our mosque.
Amaar, that's terrible! Isn't that horrible, Yasir? It is the horrible- est, darling.
Now, just out of curiosity, what are we talking about? Amaar made the Anglicans take down their decorations.
Amaar! I'm shocked and appalled.
Christmas is a time of giving.
Christmas is a time of understanding.
Here you go, my darling.
Yasir! Thank you! For my favourite little - Christmas elf.
- Aww.
(Quietly) I thought you hated Christmas.
And she must never know.
I don't know if our marriage can take it.
Besides, what's one plant a year to keep her in check.
What are these? Oh, I decided to send out cards this year.
It's festive.
It's expensive.
I love your misplaced nostalgia, darling, but I don't know if it's appropriate, um, Islamically.
It's all right.
Sarah can encourage people to celebrate their beliefs, while not compromising her own.
Yeah, dad.
I can't wait until people get these cards and send some back to me! You see? She sends one out, she only gets one back.
Uh, why not keep the ones that you've bought? Think of the postage! Don't look at me, we didn't do that at my house.
Well, when I was little, we used to string the cards we received and decorate the house.
It made the place so homey.
What a strange little ritual.
Strange but fun.
What did I do with my stamps? Oh, I took them to the office to mail out some invoices.
- Oh, would you mind mailing my cards too? - No, not at all.
I'm going to be invoicing a lot of these same people.
They're going to be receiving two surprises this Christma What? Nothing.
Let's eat! ( ) - Unbelievable! - I know, right? The butter and sugar just melt in your mouth.
I don't get it.
Christians get a trip to the moon on gossamer wings, Muslims get a little salt and pepper on a fruit salad at the end of Ramadan.
- Where'd you get these? - Magee, he left them in my office.
I think he wants to make peace.
Hmm, remind me to have a fight with him next time.
- Did you find any mail for me out there? - No, why? Because no one is responding to Sarah's Christmas cards.
Shouldn't those come to the house? I hope not.
How would I get my money? People are putting money in Christmas cards now? Yeah, they do when they find an invoice in with the card.
Excuse me? Yeah, I was about to mail the cards, I had a brilliant idea: put my invoices in with the cards.
Two birds, one stamp.
Yasir, I don't think that was a good idea.
Well, I do think it was a good idea, which makes it a tie.
Actually, I think it's was a very good idea, tie- breaker! Plus the fact that I, sort of, already sent them.
Right.
( ) Amaar, Amaar! I need to talk to you.
Oh.
Hi, Reverend.
Look, thanks for the cookies.
No, no problem.
Now listen, here's the thing And I'm sorry things got tense the other day.
It's just that I'm new here, and I have to show the community that I can do what's right.
I totally understand.
Now So, let's just put this all behind us.
The pipes in the community room burst! Infidels have taken over our prayer hall! Did you just call us infidels? I could call you something much, much worse! Oh my God! How could they do this? Duncan? He had no choice.
This is a church after all.
Amaar, they moved all this stuff in here before I even knew.
This is totally unacceptable.
It's slightly unacceptable.
Yasir, it's Friday, our holy day.
It's their big holiday.
It's bad.
Magee: I know, especially after what happened last week.
But look there's simply no place else to have the party in town.
That is not our problem.
Tell them, Amaar.
Tell them.
Don't be a big softie! - Baber, that's enough.
- Thank you, Rayyan.
Of course he's going to tell them to leave.
- Right, Amaar? - Great.
Amaar, I'm in a bind here.
I thought maybe you'd be a little more tolerant than you know.
- He means Baber and Faisal.
- I know that.
Look, if your flock were a little more sensitive Oh, now we're insensitive, are we? What a jerk.
There's no call for that.
Look, Amaar, this is our biggest event of the year.
Well, getting this room was the biggest thing that ever happened to our mosque! So, what are you saying? I'm saying you have to leave.
Fine.
There will be no Christmas party in Mercy this year.
All right, so, you were telling us how you cancelled Christmas? It was a Christmas party.
And yes, I guess I did.
You're a monster.
Yes, yes he is.
Reverend.
Oh, go on and finish your predictable story with its inevitable sappy ending.
Well, if you don't want to hear it No, no! Don't stop now! The ending's the best part.
I'll be quiet, I promise.
Amaar: Okay, well, when I walked into Fatima's cafe a couple of days later Whoo oh.
Oh! Ladies.
Amaar, Rayyan.
I'd wish you a Merry Christmas but I know how much you hate our Lord.
Oh n It's worse than I thought.
Oh, I'm sure it'll blow over.
Never going to happen.
If this were an election, you'd be the candidate who got caught hiring his nephew.
Or the one in a clown suit.
Or the one who likes to dress as his mother.
Not going to blow over is what I'm saying.
I get it.
People loved that party.
I loved that party.
In fact, why am I talking to you? You cancelled our party.
Well, surely there's somewhere else you can have it? Oh yes! Of course.
Ye- e-es.
It'll be easy to find a room for 100 the week before Christmas with two hours' notice.
No, is what I'm saying.
We get it.
- At least you did the right thing.
- Did I? Oh, absolutely.
If anything, you went a little too easy on them.
Huh, I'm beginning to realize that if you agree with me, I have a problem.
Excuse me.
Reverend.
Oh.
Hi, Amaar.
Ah, you're mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
- You're not looking me in my eye.
- That's because I'm mad at you! Don't worry about us.
I managed to book a space for the party in Odayna.
That's great! We'll be in the basement of the Legion Hall.
Once they move out all the empties.
All's well that ends.
Don't you mean, all's well that ends well? Oh, this isn't ending well.
Right And you mailed all the cards? What? Yeah.
every single one, turtle dove.
Why? Why did I only get two back, from the Jenkins and Thomases? Because maybe they're the ones that pay their bills on time.
- What? - Nothing.
The only mail is Hamoudi Construction clients paying bills.
What can I say? There are two types of people, the jolly ones and the conscientious ones.
That doesn't make any sense.
What does make sense in this topsy- turvy world we live in? That's rhetorical, right? I've got to meet Ann.
- Oh hi, Amaar.
- Bye, Amaar.
I'll see you later, Yasir.
Goodbye darling, goodbye! Goodbye! Okay, I need your help.
Actually, I came here for your help.
What, you're worried about the Christmas card situation too? What? No.
Well, I don't understand, why hasn't anyone written back? Maybe because you annoyed everyone by mailing invoices along with the cards.
Oh well, who's to say what the reason is? The point is, she's starting to get suspicious.
- Of me.
- As well she should.
- Look, whose side are you on? - Sarah's.
Me too.
That's why I need a plan.
Tell her the truth.
Okay, I think you're getting confused by the word "plan".
By plan I mean scheme, a grand gesture to make up for the terrible wrong that I've done.
That doesn't even - Wait a second, does that actually work? - Are you kidding? There's nothing that beats a grand gesture when it comes to making up for your mistakes.
Okay, but what if you technically haven't made a mistake, but people are mad at you anyway? Well, I suppose it will work there too.
It's a very effective tool.
( ) Reverend, a little something for your party.
A gesture from the Muslims to the Anglicans.
Oh, well, that's thoughtful.
Isn't it, Mrs.
Wispinski? What is he doing here? Are we not allowed to practice our faith - in our church? - Well Now, now, Mrs.
Wispinski.
Amaar has brought gifts for the Anglicans.
Try one.
They're delicious Pakistani treats.
Oh, Pakistan.
The tasty nation.
Hm- hmm.
The green one is halwa.
That's pink Chum Chum.
I think not.
Oh, this one looks normal.
Oh, that's a good choice.
That's burfi.
Barfy? No, it's pronounced, "burfi".
Oh.
(Spitting) I was right the first time.
Sorry, Amaar.
I think it's going to take some time.
- Would you like one? - I would not.
I'll let my mother know.
Look, I don't think they're going to let it go.
I mean, this is getting a little out of hand.
What if whoa.
You went from no Christmas cards to all of these? Yeah, yeah, it's a surprise for Sarah.
Remember how she said she used to do this when she was a little girl? Yeah, that's very thoughtful, I'm sure she'll love it.
Oh Pierre Elliott Trudeau? Why is a dead prime minister sending Sarah Christmas cards? I don't know, maybe it's from his estate.
Yasir Wow! Where did all these cards come from? Yeah, isn't it funny, darling? The post office was holding them because there are so many of them.
That's wonderful.
Oh, did we get the one with the dancing polar bears from the Wilkinsons? That one always makes me laugh.
Yeah, no, I haven't seen that one.
Maybe you didn't look hard enough.
There's no need to read them, darling, I mean people cared enough to send them, that should be enough.
No, no, no, I need to know who responded so I can pare down next year's list.
David Duchovny? Wow, the letters to his fan club really paid off.
Pelé? It's funny how his handwriting looks just like yours.
(Doorbell chimes) Yeah well, maybe he's left- handed too, darling.
He could be left- handed.
Maybe you should tell her what you've done.
I'm almost home free, really.
- It's going to be fine - You are not It's tss- tss.
Shh! - Look who it is.
- Freddy! Well, well, well, if it isn't Grinchy Claus, hmm? I'm sorry, I don't know who that is.
Duh.
It's a creature that's half Grinch, half Santa Claus.
- Read a book.
- Sounds horrible.
Put an invoice in my Christmas card.
People like you have made X- Mas commercial, my friendly.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I've got to spend an outrageous amount of money on gifts.
That's why I will never trust Canada Post.
Merry Christmas, darling.
Merry merry Christmas.
( ) Salaam aleikum.
Waleikum salaam.
Wow.
The snow is really coming down out there.
I'll say.
- They closed the road to Odayna.
- What? What is going to happen to Reverend Magee's party? I heard they cancelled it.
A true Islamic victory.
What is wrong with you? I have a knee that hurts in bad weather.
No, why are you turning a crushing disappointment for our friends and neighbours into a victory for Islam? That is not what faith is about.
But it is to me.
You see, I'm a simple man.
We've got to do something to make it up to them.
You're right.
How did it come to this? Make it up to them? But they were the ones that were in the wrong! I will never ever make it up to them.
It's okay, sweetheart.
There'll be a party next year.
(Sad rendition of "Jingle Bells" ) Okay, I'm a sucker for a teddy bear.
Thank you all for coming so quickly.
What was so important that you dragged us out here in the middle of a snowstorm? Want to rub our noses in the fact that you cancelled Christmas? Not quite.
All: Merry Christmas! (Cries of surprise) Come in, come in! Magee: Amaar! This is wonderful! Whoa! You like it? Like it? - I love it! - Great.
Are you sure? Look, if no one made compromises, there'd be no mosque in the church.
Besides, the Muslims throwing the Anglicans a Christmas party in the mosque in their church, makes sense in a funny kind of way.
It does, doesn't it? Uh I got you a little something.
Ohh, you didn't have to get me a gift.
(Gasps) I love it.
Yasir: I wonder if I could have your attention, please? Just for a second.
I would like to apologize for putting my invoices in with my delightful wife's Christmas cards.
That was very bad of me.
And as a gesture of goodwill, on behalf of everyone at Hamoudi Contracting, I would like to offer a 10% discount to anyone that was offended.
Bravo! (Applause) Thank you, sweetheart.
I know what a sacrifice it is for you to offer a discount.
It was a limited time offer.
Limited to the end of this party.
Oh, look, here's Fred.
Yes, Sarah, there you are.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, thanks Fred, but I don't actually celebrate Christmas.
Oh.
Oh, sorry No, no, I'll keep it.
Mmm.
Merry Christmas.
Woman: (Singing) Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la All: (Joining in) Tis the season to be jolly Fa, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la Don we now our gay apparel Fa, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, Troll the ancient Yuletide carol Fa, la, la, la, la La, la, la La- a-a (Applause) Merry Christmas! So this is the ornament you gave Magee? The very same.
Maybe decorating a tree isn't so bad.
That's right, Abid.
So, why don't we help them? (Mixed chatter) I think you should take this.
No, I want you to have it.
No, I want you to have it and put it on our tree.
All right.
Deal.
( ) Here.
Uh open it.
Wow (Laugh) This is a surprise.
Well, the world is full of surprises.
Ahh.
(Laugh) Alrighty.
Hey, nice sweater.
Ah, very nice.
Although, I think it may be a little too big.
Yes, but not for me.
Thank you.
Wait a second, I thought that was for me.
No, no, it's for me.
Someone left it outside my office today.
And well, you know, you can never be too careful with strange packages in a mosque.
- You know what I'm saying? - Right.
Thanks.
Oh, and, um, Merry Christmas.
(Awkward laugh) Merry Christmas.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven
Okay, knock it off.
You knock it off.
Oh! Hey, hey, hey! - Oh! Come on! - Break it up, break it Abid, you know better than this.
Yes, Abid.
I'm very disappointed in you.
What is going on here? We're getting ready for halaqa class and he tried to kick us out.
It's our turn here.
It's our turn to put up our decorations.
Who cares about your stupid decorations? They're not stupid! Abid, that was uncalled for.
See? Stupid! Hey Thomas, unnecessary.
Actually, the lad makes a good point.
Look guys, is it worth fighting over a few decorations? Well, to be fair, this one is rather stupid.
Actually Oh, this, uh (Laugh) reminds me of a fight that Reverend Magee and I had back in the day.
What? You and Reverend Pushover? I thought you never fought.
Just this once, but it was a doozy.
Oh, how bad could it be? (Sigh) I'm not proud of it, but that was the year that Christmas almost didn't come to Mercy.
( ) Little Mosque on the Prairie 5x00 A Christmas Story Well, well, well.
I knew it.
Knew what? That underneath all that love and understanding, you secretly hated us Christians and our Christian ways.
That's not true, everyone.
Right, so there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you declared a jihad on Christmas? It's not like that.
Guys, sit down.
I'll explain.
As much as I love stories about the desecration of our holiest day.
I think we'll pass.
Come on, kids.
I'd like to hear it.
Me too.
Fine, yes.
Let's take a walk down hideous memory lane.
Well guys, it was the first year I was here, and the first year the mosque was in the church, and there were still growing pains.
Ah yes, you see kids, the Christians resented having to share their space with heathens and their strange primitive customs.
I wouldn't put it that way.
Ah, so it was the Muslims who were up in arms about having to have their mosque in a den of peace- loving infidels? Excuse me.
Well, are you going to tell the story or not? It was just a simple misunderstanding.
Oh.
Who started it? Who do you think? Baber: I am so sick of these Christians! Anything specific this time? Yes.
I saw one of them, he was crossing himself in the hallway of our mosque! Don't you mean, their church? That's another thing.
We have to get along if we want to make this work.
They are so intolerant.
Why can't they realize that Islam is the one true faith and that they are just simply misguided fools? Perhaps because they are so intolerant.
Exactly.
And now that it's Christmas, It's their chance to get even Christian- er.
I don't think that's possible.
Faisal: I am so sick of these Christians.
Oh, not you too, Faisal.
Yes me too, too! Well, you're just going to have to get used to it.
I hate getting used to things.
Yes, this is a church.
But, through those doors is our mosque.
And as your new Imam, I promise you nothing, nothing can take that away from us.
Choir: (Singing) of comfort and joy Comfort and joy Oh- oh, tidings of comfort and You were saying? What do you think you were doing in our mosque? Baber, I will handle this.
What were you doing in there? Well, if you have to ask, I guess we weren't doing it very well! (Wheezing laugh) (Clearing throat) Uh, a little choir practice.
Don't you usually practice your choir somewhere else? Like, I don't know, your church? Well we would, but our theatre group's in there, rehearsing our big Christmas pageant.
Well, why don't you wait until they're done? Oh, they need as much rehearsal as they can get.
Our manger is a mess, we only have two wise men, and Billy Derkins is totally overthinking his character.
I mean, how difficult can it be to play a donkey? That is no reason that we should have to put up with your religious yowling.
Yowling? Those are Christmas carols.
They are annoying! And catchy.
I cannot get them out of my head.
Tidings of comfort and (Groan) Well, I never.
- Oh, yes you did.
In our mosque.
- In our church! Guys, please settle down.
Settle down? You should settle up! You are supposed to be our Imam.
I am your Imam.
Then start acting like it! Gee, Amaar.
We didn't mean to give offence.
I know you didn't.
It's just that our annual Christmas bash is right around the corner.
It's kind of a big thing.
And we just thought if we didn't interrupt your prayers, you wouldn't mind.
Oh we mind.
- We mind bi-i-ig time.
- Okay.
All right.
I'm sorry.
Don't apologize to them! They're our guests and they should act like it.
Actually, we're your tenants.
And it is our space.
Amaar is right.
Won't happen again.
Thank you.
- Have a good day.
- Mrs.
Wispinski: Thank you.
Rayyan: Amaar.
Salaam aleikum.
Oh, waleikum salaam, Rayyan.
- Um, nice to see you here.
- Yeah.
You getting used to this prairie winter? Oh, I don't think I'll ever get used to it, but it is beautiful.
Mmm- hmm, sort of like walking in a winter wonderland? Ah, you heard.
That you kicked the Anglicans out of the mosque? Maybe.
I wouldn't say kicked out.
- Well, I'm impressed.
- You are? Yeah, it's nice to know that our new Imam is willing to stand up for his congregation.
Well, what can I say? When I see something that's important for the mosque - I put my foot down.
- Hmm.
( ) - Ahh - And how's that going for you? Great.
I wonder if Baber's seen this.
Baber: Astaghfirullah! I would say yes.
What are you Christians Ah, ah, ah! Reverend Magee.
Hello, Amaar.
Merry Christmas.
Hello.
Oh, that's right.
You don't celebrate Christmas.
No, we're fine with Christmas.
We're just a little less fine with the holly outside our prayer hall.
You don't like holly? Who doesn't like holly? It is Christian poison ivy.
- Oh! - Actually, it's a pagan symbol.
Come to think of it, why do we put it up? Well, it's not just the holly.
Oh, it's the lights isn't it? They're not supposed to blink like that.
I think I can fix it if I take this light out.
Oh perhaps it's another one.
It's not the lights, it's the fact they're in our hallway.
On the door to our mosque.
We just thought as long as we stayed out of your prayer hall, but perhaps we went too far.
I think so.
We'll de- holiday your hallway.
Thank you.
Oh, and to make it up to you, we'd like to invite all of you to our big holiday bash.
What? Why? They hate Christmas! For once she is right.
But, we would hate to be excluded more.
Reluctantly, we accept.
- No, no, we'd love to come.
- Thank you.
Wonderful.
You can eat your weight in shortbread.
It'll be in the community room this Friday night.
Wow, those lights are annoying.
(Electrical clicking) Maybe I'll just unplug those.
Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Sarah.
- I could sure use a home-cooked meal.
- Aw.
Well, you earned it after today.
You should have seen him.
Ah, she's exaggerating.
No, I'm not.
You were like Salahuddin at the Battle of Hattin.
Oh, I wouldn't say Salahuddin.
All right, well, Salahuddin- like.
Wonderful.
What did you do? He asked the Anglicans to take their decorations out of our mosque.
Amaar, that's terrible! Isn't that horrible, Yasir? It is the horrible- est, darling.
Now, just out of curiosity, what are we talking about? Amaar made the Anglicans take down their decorations.
Amaar! I'm shocked and appalled.
Christmas is a time of giving.
Christmas is a time of understanding.
Here you go, my darling.
Yasir! Thank you! For my favourite little - Christmas elf.
- Aww.
(Quietly) I thought you hated Christmas.
And she must never know.
I don't know if our marriage can take it.
Besides, what's one plant a year to keep her in check.
What are these? Oh, I decided to send out cards this year.
It's festive.
It's expensive.
I love your misplaced nostalgia, darling, but I don't know if it's appropriate, um, Islamically.
It's all right.
Sarah can encourage people to celebrate their beliefs, while not compromising her own.
Yeah, dad.
I can't wait until people get these cards and send some back to me! You see? She sends one out, she only gets one back.
Uh, why not keep the ones that you've bought? Think of the postage! Don't look at me, we didn't do that at my house.
Well, when I was little, we used to string the cards we received and decorate the house.
It made the place so homey.
What a strange little ritual.
Strange but fun.
What did I do with my stamps? Oh, I took them to the office to mail out some invoices.
- Oh, would you mind mailing my cards too? - No, not at all.
I'm going to be invoicing a lot of these same people.
They're going to be receiving two surprises this Christma What? Nothing.
Let's eat! ( ) - Unbelievable! - I know, right? The butter and sugar just melt in your mouth.
I don't get it.
Christians get a trip to the moon on gossamer wings, Muslims get a little salt and pepper on a fruit salad at the end of Ramadan.
- Where'd you get these? - Magee, he left them in my office.
I think he wants to make peace.
Hmm, remind me to have a fight with him next time.
- Did you find any mail for me out there? - No, why? Because no one is responding to Sarah's Christmas cards.
Shouldn't those come to the house? I hope not.
How would I get my money? People are putting money in Christmas cards now? Yeah, they do when they find an invoice in with the card.
Excuse me? Yeah, I was about to mail the cards, I had a brilliant idea: put my invoices in with the cards.
Two birds, one stamp.
Yasir, I don't think that was a good idea.
Well, I do think it was a good idea, which makes it a tie.
Actually, I think it's was a very good idea, tie- breaker! Plus the fact that I, sort of, already sent them.
Right.
( ) Amaar, Amaar! I need to talk to you.
Oh.
Hi, Reverend.
Look, thanks for the cookies.
No, no problem.
Now listen, here's the thing And I'm sorry things got tense the other day.
It's just that I'm new here, and I have to show the community that I can do what's right.
I totally understand.
Now So, let's just put this all behind us.
The pipes in the community room burst! Infidels have taken over our prayer hall! Did you just call us infidels? I could call you something much, much worse! Oh my God! How could they do this? Duncan? He had no choice.
This is a church after all.
Amaar, they moved all this stuff in here before I even knew.
This is totally unacceptable.
It's slightly unacceptable.
Yasir, it's Friday, our holy day.
It's their big holiday.
It's bad.
Magee: I know, especially after what happened last week.
But look there's simply no place else to have the party in town.
That is not our problem.
Tell them, Amaar.
Tell them.
Don't be a big softie! - Baber, that's enough.
- Thank you, Rayyan.
Of course he's going to tell them to leave.
- Right, Amaar? - Great.
Amaar, I'm in a bind here.
I thought maybe you'd be a little more tolerant than you know.
- He means Baber and Faisal.
- I know that.
Look, if your flock were a little more sensitive Oh, now we're insensitive, are we? What a jerk.
There's no call for that.
Look, Amaar, this is our biggest event of the year.
Well, getting this room was the biggest thing that ever happened to our mosque! So, what are you saying? I'm saying you have to leave.
Fine.
There will be no Christmas party in Mercy this year.
All right, so, you were telling us how you cancelled Christmas? It was a Christmas party.
And yes, I guess I did.
You're a monster.
Yes, yes he is.
Reverend.
Oh, go on and finish your predictable story with its inevitable sappy ending.
Well, if you don't want to hear it No, no! Don't stop now! The ending's the best part.
I'll be quiet, I promise.
Amaar: Okay, well, when I walked into Fatima's cafe a couple of days later Whoo oh.
Oh! Ladies.
Amaar, Rayyan.
I'd wish you a Merry Christmas but I know how much you hate our Lord.
Oh n It's worse than I thought.
Oh, I'm sure it'll blow over.
Never going to happen.
If this were an election, you'd be the candidate who got caught hiring his nephew.
Or the one in a clown suit.
Or the one who likes to dress as his mother.
Not going to blow over is what I'm saying.
I get it.
People loved that party.
I loved that party.
In fact, why am I talking to you? You cancelled our party.
Well, surely there's somewhere else you can have it? Oh yes! Of course.
Ye- e-es.
It'll be easy to find a room for 100 the week before Christmas with two hours' notice.
No, is what I'm saying.
We get it.
- At least you did the right thing.
- Did I? Oh, absolutely.
If anything, you went a little too easy on them.
Huh, I'm beginning to realize that if you agree with me, I have a problem.
Excuse me.
Reverend.
Oh.
Hi, Amaar.
Ah, you're mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
- You're not looking me in my eye.
- That's because I'm mad at you! Don't worry about us.
I managed to book a space for the party in Odayna.
That's great! We'll be in the basement of the Legion Hall.
Once they move out all the empties.
All's well that ends.
Don't you mean, all's well that ends well? Oh, this isn't ending well.
Right And you mailed all the cards? What? Yeah.
every single one, turtle dove.
Why? Why did I only get two back, from the Jenkins and Thomases? Because maybe they're the ones that pay their bills on time.
- What? - Nothing.
The only mail is Hamoudi Construction clients paying bills.
What can I say? There are two types of people, the jolly ones and the conscientious ones.
That doesn't make any sense.
What does make sense in this topsy- turvy world we live in? That's rhetorical, right? I've got to meet Ann.
- Oh hi, Amaar.
- Bye, Amaar.
I'll see you later, Yasir.
Goodbye darling, goodbye! Goodbye! Okay, I need your help.
Actually, I came here for your help.
What, you're worried about the Christmas card situation too? What? No.
Well, I don't understand, why hasn't anyone written back? Maybe because you annoyed everyone by mailing invoices along with the cards.
Oh well, who's to say what the reason is? The point is, she's starting to get suspicious.
- Of me.
- As well she should.
- Look, whose side are you on? - Sarah's.
Me too.
That's why I need a plan.
Tell her the truth.
Okay, I think you're getting confused by the word "plan".
By plan I mean scheme, a grand gesture to make up for the terrible wrong that I've done.
That doesn't even - Wait a second, does that actually work? - Are you kidding? There's nothing that beats a grand gesture when it comes to making up for your mistakes.
Okay, but what if you technically haven't made a mistake, but people are mad at you anyway? Well, I suppose it will work there too.
It's a very effective tool.
( ) Reverend, a little something for your party.
A gesture from the Muslims to the Anglicans.
Oh, well, that's thoughtful.
Isn't it, Mrs.
Wispinski? What is he doing here? Are we not allowed to practice our faith - in our church? - Well Now, now, Mrs.
Wispinski.
Amaar has brought gifts for the Anglicans.
Try one.
They're delicious Pakistani treats.
Oh, Pakistan.
The tasty nation.
Hm- hmm.
The green one is halwa.
That's pink Chum Chum.
I think not.
Oh, this one looks normal.
Oh, that's a good choice.
That's burfi.
Barfy? No, it's pronounced, "burfi".
Oh.
(Spitting) I was right the first time.
Sorry, Amaar.
I think it's going to take some time.
- Would you like one? - I would not.
I'll let my mother know.
Look, I don't think they're going to let it go.
I mean, this is getting a little out of hand.
What if whoa.
You went from no Christmas cards to all of these? Yeah, yeah, it's a surprise for Sarah.
Remember how she said she used to do this when she was a little girl? Yeah, that's very thoughtful, I'm sure she'll love it.
Oh Pierre Elliott Trudeau? Why is a dead prime minister sending Sarah Christmas cards? I don't know, maybe it's from his estate.
Yasir Wow! Where did all these cards come from? Yeah, isn't it funny, darling? The post office was holding them because there are so many of them.
That's wonderful.
Oh, did we get the one with the dancing polar bears from the Wilkinsons? That one always makes me laugh.
Yeah, no, I haven't seen that one.
Maybe you didn't look hard enough.
There's no need to read them, darling, I mean people cared enough to send them, that should be enough.
No, no, no, I need to know who responded so I can pare down next year's list.
David Duchovny? Wow, the letters to his fan club really paid off.
Pelé? It's funny how his handwriting looks just like yours.
(Doorbell chimes) Yeah well, maybe he's left- handed too, darling.
He could be left- handed.
Maybe you should tell her what you've done.
I'm almost home free, really.
- It's going to be fine - You are not It's tss- tss.
Shh! - Look who it is.
- Freddy! Well, well, well, if it isn't Grinchy Claus, hmm? I'm sorry, I don't know who that is.
Duh.
It's a creature that's half Grinch, half Santa Claus.
- Read a book.
- Sounds horrible.
Put an invoice in my Christmas card.
People like you have made X- Mas commercial, my friendly.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I've got to spend an outrageous amount of money on gifts.
That's why I will never trust Canada Post.
Merry Christmas, darling.
Merry merry Christmas.
( ) Salaam aleikum.
Waleikum salaam.
Wow.
The snow is really coming down out there.
I'll say.
- They closed the road to Odayna.
- What? What is going to happen to Reverend Magee's party? I heard they cancelled it.
A true Islamic victory.
What is wrong with you? I have a knee that hurts in bad weather.
No, why are you turning a crushing disappointment for our friends and neighbours into a victory for Islam? That is not what faith is about.
But it is to me.
You see, I'm a simple man.
We've got to do something to make it up to them.
You're right.
How did it come to this? Make it up to them? But they were the ones that were in the wrong! I will never ever make it up to them.
It's okay, sweetheart.
There'll be a party next year.
(Sad rendition of "Jingle Bells" ) Okay, I'm a sucker for a teddy bear.
Thank you all for coming so quickly.
What was so important that you dragged us out here in the middle of a snowstorm? Want to rub our noses in the fact that you cancelled Christmas? Not quite.
All: Merry Christmas! (Cries of surprise) Come in, come in! Magee: Amaar! This is wonderful! Whoa! You like it? Like it? - I love it! - Great.
Are you sure? Look, if no one made compromises, there'd be no mosque in the church.
Besides, the Muslims throwing the Anglicans a Christmas party in the mosque in their church, makes sense in a funny kind of way.
It does, doesn't it? Uh I got you a little something.
Ohh, you didn't have to get me a gift.
(Gasps) I love it.
Yasir: I wonder if I could have your attention, please? Just for a second.
I would like to apologize for putting my invoices in with my delightful wife's Christmas cards.
That was very bad of me.
And as a gesture of goodwill, on behalf of everyone at Hamoudi Contracting, I would like to offer a 10% discount to anyone that was offended.
Bravo! (Applause) Thank you, sweetheart.
I know what a sacrifice it is for you to offer a discount.
It was a limited time offer.
Limited to the end of this party.
Oh, look, here's Fred.
Yes, Sarah, there you are.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, thanks Fred, but I don't actually celebrate Christmas.
Oh.
Oh, sorry No, no, I'll keep it.
Mmm.
Merry Christmas.
Woman: (Singing) Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la All: (Joining in) Tis the season to be jolly Fa, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la Don we now our gay apparel Fa, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, Troll the ancient Yuletide carol Fa, la, la, la, la La, la, la La- a-a (Applause) Merry Christmas! So this is the ornament you gave Magee? The very same.
Maybe decorating a tree isn't so bad.
That's right, Abid.
So, why don't we help them? (Mixed chatter) I think you should take this.
No, I want you to have it.
No, I want you to have it and put it on our tree.
All right.
Deal.
( ) Here.
Uh open it.
Wow (Laugh) This is a surprise.
Well, the world is full of surprises.
Ahh.
(Laugh) Alrighty.
Hey, nice sweater.
Ah, very nice.
Although, I think it may be a little too big.
Yes, but not for me.
Thank you.
Wait a second, I thought that was for me.
No, no, it's for me.
Someone left it outside my office today.
And well, you know, you can never be too careful with strange packages in a mosque.
- You know what I'm saying? - Right.
Thanks.
Oh, and, um, Merry Christmas.
(Awkward laugh) Merry Christmas.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven