Metalocalypse (2006) s05e00 Episode Script
The Doomstar Requiem A Klok Opera
1 Fata sidus oritur fata sidus oritur fata sidus oritur fata sidus oritur DethKlok is disbanded one of them was taken we look to the skies to watch a new star awaken oh, the Doomstar is born oh, the dethly lights and the star will turn to blood on this prophet's night and the prophecy has warned us that one of us must die before this is all over one of us must die Doomstar Doomstar Charles: there was a time when the five of them were just a band but that was yesterday so innocent of this church and all its prophecies but then they took him away the times have changed the air's begun to taste of metal the whales, they chant a constant warning they keep singing and repeating one of us must die one of us must die bow before the Doomstar Klok keeps ticking further Charles: life on earth will be eclipsed the looming Metalocalypse one of you must die one of you must die DethKlok, they must be rejoined evil, it must be destroyed no more apathetic stoics they can learn to be heroic write the song that will be our salvation [ Heavy metal music plays .]
Welcome to your resting place please enjoy your stay I'll be your ambassador of sorrow and decay I will take them I will break them I will claw at their flesh and forsake them seek revengeance for my brother I will not rest until I'm satisfied I'm not a terrible person I'm just a man filled with pain cast out by the Klok to live in obscurity I will pay them back the same way I'm no murderer I'm just a man I'm the judge and jury, and your case is in my hands you should be on my side and so should she when DethKlok is imprisoned, the world will thank me whoa Toki: whoa you are my bait Toki: you're scarins me they will come for you they'll be trapped whoa Toki: whoa you're scarins me please don't hurts us we ain't done's nothing wrong my apologies you're just like me a victim of the band whoa I see it all so clearly they will live just like me in obscurity Nathan: I feel this feeling and I think I'm unhappy since what's-his-face and what's-her-name have been missing the mood around here's been crappy but as bad as it gets our duty is knowing that we have a job to keep this party going! snorting coke sniffing glue smokins pot is what we do drinking beer, drinking wine and champagne, so divine partying around the world partying around the world partying around the world Skwisgaar: crystals meth my name is Skwisgaar let's go to a Swiss bar drinks somes brewskies hang out with some floozies then we'll gets slurpies maybe gets herpes keeps the partys goings keeps the partys goings Pickles: oh, no, no we don't miss people oh, we can hardly tell that they're gone Murderface: if you think bad thoughts push 'em away Skwisgaar: with certains peoples gones and the rumors goings rounds our records sell better every days and the Nathan: Abigail I knew when I met you that you had that look in your eye oh, you're sucking on an apple pie in the sky uh, you're also gonna suck my [Bleep.]
oh, yeah, well keep the party going Nathan: Oh, right, keep the party going! Keep the party going keep the party going keep the party going keep the party going keep the party going Pickles: My turn! My name is Pickles I like Don Rickles hanging out with Kony playing with a pony shootin' wolves with Palin never, ever failing snortin' coke off tits I'm the one that plays the hits where's Toki? Murderface: Oh, my God.
Where's Toki? Where's Toki? No comment Nathan: my name is Nathan the doobies are a-blazin' pissing in an old cave jackin' off on Bozo's grave crappin' in a lunch bag give it to an old hag keep the party going you know what I mean? Partying around the world partying around the world partying around the world partying around partying around the world partying around the world partying around the world partying around oh, no, no we don't miss people oh, we hardly notice that they're gone where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Charles: so much time has passed since Toki was taken they left no trace of him of this I'm not mistaken this man, his abductor, with the silver face a freakish deadly demon a bastard, a disgrace born and left alone never knew his mother, who was killed during birth but left him a brother together they would train and kill those that crossed their path his brother died in Mordhaus and now he blames the band so we have our best men on it what else are we supposed to do? Charles: we must find him we must find him we must rescue him we are running out of time we must track him we must find him we must rescue him we are running out of time Toki if we don't hurry up, he just might die I report from the field information for thee that we've hired the best man to find the abductee he's the best tracker that is known around and has exceptional equipment, th sight and sound he was raised by wolves he can kill with his teeth he can blend into shadows he can hide in a tree if he cannot find Toki, then nobody can I'm telling you, sire this is our man Charles: that's good where is he? He's dead Charles: Oh.
Throw him in the garbage don't throw him away there's more we can do the dead can sometimes talk and offer us a clue sire, there's a drive hid within this dead man's torso we can play this video on the main computer counsel I see what you're doing, and you're trying to kill me but I won't let that happen 'cause I still got Toki if you send another man we will kill her and he I'll be waiting here for DethKlok in the depths of humanity we have our best men on it what else are we supposed to do we're trained to ex-filtrate him they are so good what can we do? We have our best men on it what else are we supposed to do? We're trained to ex-filtrate him we know we must save his life Charles: we must call of this search they have the upper hand I've failed at my work and I've failed this band you mustn't worry, my friend for, you see, there's an answer I know what we have to do Charles: all right let's hear it gentlemen, I must speak to you on behalf of the church of the black Klok my words will never be as weighty as they are right now this is a challenge for you Nathan: I already don't like the sound of this many years from now you'll know this moment was the one that proved your spirit you must go in alone and save your brother you mean co-worker I mean brother you means rhythms guitarist I mean brother not brother -- bandmate I mean brother uh, stop saying brother you're grossing us out thank you you must be heroes I await your decision Nathan: What is a hero? Who am I? I'm a simple multi-platinum rock star living a simple multi-platinum life I don't know 'bout that crazy world just driving this a-list mile I'm just a filthy rich economic power and all that I need, I buy oh, how can I be a hero when I'm just a krillionaire? There ain't no groupie blowjob that can help me to prepare how can I be a hero when I'm just a man that is larger than life, yeah I'm just a tiny little miniscule superstar trying to get by well Pickles: maybe if we threw this life away we could learn to live a different way Murderface: oh, I'll go back to school and get myself a degree in something [Bleep.]
useless like psychology Skwisgaar: I could gets myself a wifes and leads a different lifes and hides out in the bathroom and Jack offs every night Pickles: start driving a hybrid brag that I'm saving the planet Skwisgaar: quote "SNL" at works all days and acts likes it's ad libs Nathan: but if that's the life of a regular jackoff I'd probably just kill myself yeah! How can I be a hero when my dick is big as a shoe? There ain't no all-access passes that will help me to break through so many items on my backstage rider but there ain't no bravery I'm just the seventh top financial power but I'm little ol' me Pickles: how can I be a hero when I get everything for free? Skwisgaar: I screws mores girls thens Wilt Chamberlains I can proves it with my stds how can I be a hero when we're the world's largest metal band? Nathan: I'll never be a hero 'cause I'm better than everyone but I'm just a man I'm afraid the answer is no so, DethKlok hasn't performed in a very long while a big show is coming up which will be just in time because people around the world have been very concerned about the lack of Toki Wartooth in the press world he hasn't been seen in public where could he be? The band released a statement Charles: He's fine.
Don't worry about Toki.
Well, he's okay I guess we'll see when they play that's the DethKlok minute have a great day he's been out of the public eye we're worried we'll be denied one-fifth of our favorite band we're the power we're the fans we want answers Where's Toki? Where's Toki? We want answers where is the man? We're going online we're gonna get to the bottom of this going online we're gonna get to the bottom of this I heard a rumor from my roommate Matt that he can't play guitar because he got too fat I heard that Toki's at a rehab place because he did so many drugs that he melted his face I heard he's getting plastic surgery done they're putting in horns and cleaving his tongue I heard he's gone 'cause his hair went away they put in transplants now he's totally gay you're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You are all wrong you don't know the whole story Toki's been kidnapped with the girl, by some men oh, DethKlok could save them but they can't be bothered these cowards may never see their Toki again DethKlok doesn't care about their best friends they will be responsible for their death Nathan: it's good to be here tonight Let me hear ya! [ Cheers and applause .]
And on rhythm guitar Mr.
Toki Wartooth! [ Audience booing .]
we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back Nathan: oh, my God they're leaving the show Pickles: we don't want our fans to go Nathan: I think I know what I must do people of the world, I want you to know Toki! We're coming to save y-o-o-o-ou! [ Soft guitar music plays .]
Don't be scared my little friend I am here with you things have gotten so bad but I am here with you we'll most likely die they'll pull off our skin they'll pluck out our eyes they'll play in our blood be cannibalized they'll bathe us in acid they'll chew through our brains they'll chop up our guts and cut up our veins but close your eyes drift away dream into your happy place remember the finest moments in your life it's your power and your strength you're happy place go there now now go go there now [ Heavy metal music plays .]
Pickles: Magnus has been kicked out of the band I think the four of us understand that we gotta make a record gotta make it great it's our very first one must annihilate since we fired the man, we are short one artist we need to fill the void we need a guitarist but he's gotta fit right gotta be the right vibe and he's gotta [Bleep.]
rock because we are DethKlok Skwisgaar: I disagrees for you sees we don't needs nobody else this shoulds be a ones-guitar band yes, indeeds ain't nobodys goods as me can match my speed and conquers me Pickles: look at all these hopeful auditioners oh, they came from so far away but if you show them that you are the best then, yes you may have your way if you hack all them into pieces with your mighty shredding axe then we will forever from this moment on be a four-piece and you will be the only guitarist of DethKlok Skwisgaar: all right [ Guitar solo .]
Shred its now you're goings down takes ones more this ams a war shreds its now you're goings down goings down yeah! I ams a wizard I am a sorcerer and I've proven to dis world that we don't need nobodys we ams a one-guitar band yes, indeeds you have been bested by the master bow before your glowing guitar God Nathan: someone keeps on knocking and someone's at the door let them in right now appears to be one more Toki: hellos I'm sorrys I got lost along the way my name is Toki I am just a boy here form Norway I'm so sads I missed my auditions appointments todays but I think that you should gives me a chance anyhow because I have this feeling something tells me this was meant to be do you feel this electricity? Gives me this chance Skwisgaar: all rights you seem so nice it's a shames you must go downs this way [ Guitar solo .]
Pickles: oh, you did so well Nathan: but you blew the last part Pickles: oh, you were so very close Nathan: but it all fell apart Murderface: and it's time for you to go Skwisgaar: but befores you leaves you must understand that nobodys ever made me plays this wells therefores I want you in this band Toki: I can'ts believes is this really happening to me? Just yesterdays, I was a kids on the streets my familys, they didn'ts cares about me now I've got my owns, and I can do anything yours my brothers now lives togethers now I has found a home nevers be alone we are known across this world Toki: I believe this is my dream come true and I never thought I'd have a family but that family, it is you now I can see happiness is for me, it's true Pickles: this is such a strange new crazy life Skwisgaar: everything am better now that he ams in the band this times Toki: I've never been so happys in my life my brothers gives me the power to survives I believe this is my dream come true and I never thought I'd have a family but that family, it is you now I can see, happiness is for me it's true yeah, yeah I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe Stampingston: it appears as though DethKlok is going to rescue their bandmate Orlag: and if they fail, we could lose everything Crozier: I could save them or I could kill them but I will do your bidding, my masters Orlag: so much better now that he is under your control Selatcia: Yes.
But what you should know is that we have a traitor amongst DethKlok, and when the time is right, they will be put into action.
But for now, we must watch them.
[ Heavy metal music plays .]
Charles we are running out of time you've been trained and you've been primed but before we send you out into the night accept these gifts these munitions they will aide your dark missions use them with your power and your might laser shooting lyric pen poison-dart drum stick razor-wire guitar strings bass-pick throwing star hot topic gift card that combined with a polymer will explode as the prophecy foretold the Doomstar has been born and you all will be endowed with a power known to none the Deth lights are within you all waiting to be woken and when the five are united the evil will be broken I know that you doubt yourself but you don't have to worry because we believe in you oh, they already see you as a leader and you can carry them into glory but it's all up to you, you, you you may not know you have the power but it's very clear to me that the closer you are to your brother the stronger you will be Pickles: Stop using that word "brother.
" It's weird to me.
Murderface: Yeah, 'cause he's not our brother.
Pickles: He's not our brother, right.
How dare you you should be ashamed of yourselves this is blasphemous, what you say he is your family, and he is your heart Murderface: but when you say that, it feels so very gay you must understand that if I had my brother alive the strength I would have but you don't you're all selfish bastards and you make me sick to my stomach because I do it all for my brother yes, my heart still burns for you oh, I'd wheel into battle if it meant one more moment with you but it's too late you know that it's true I'll live for you and I'll die for you I'll love for you and I'll cry for you do it all for my brother do it all I'll cry for you do it all for my brother do it all I'll cry for you do it all for my brother do it all do it all for my brother do it all Nathan: Enough of this! We've had as much as we can take of this other stuff we will go forth and rescue our bandmate as discussed Charles: before you go, I need your attention many years ago when I took this contract I swore a sacred oath to protect this new act never to deceive them or put them in harm's way lead them into danger or lead them astray the circumstances changed now I'm in the middle of the darkest times this prophetic riddle I cannot stand by and refuse protection consider this my resignation of this whole profession I was a good man for this job but it's time for me to go I cannot lead you further oh, in my heart this truth I know I bid you all farewell consider this a vacancy I wish you best of luck now you will have been the greatest work I've ever done in my entire life good day to you good day [ heavy metal music plays .]
Pickles: Ofdensen's gone, and we're on our own Skwisgaar: nice way to starts our journey with no protections Nathan: gotta find where Toki's at I'm telling you all, the answer's in your past does this sound to you like it's a clue? Magnus talking about the depths of humanity does this sound to you like it's a clue? Magnus talking about the depths of humanity oh, no, we don't know ooh ooh, ooh ooh oh, no, we don't know ooh ooh, ooh ooh Pickles: Oh, wait! They said they'd be waiting in the depths of humanity now this may be a moment of total insanity but you say the answer is in our past and the times I heard those words last was at Toki's first gig an old crappy venue a death-metal bar with a garbage-can menu I believe, and pardon my profanity that the clue is inside a [Bleep.]
bar called the depths of humanity Pickles: the depths of humanity [ Echoing .]
Please heed my warning before you enter here this is a den of resentment and jealousy inside is all that you fear stay close and keep your eyes open the ghosts of your past you will meet the failures of life, they congregate here if they bring you down, you will be beat beware Murderface: [Bleep.]
You Pickles: oh, my God our old manager Nathan: oh, my God those old groupies Skwisgaar: ohs, my gods my old guitars teacher Murderface: oh, my God a douchebag nightmare you were supposed to help me 'cause I helped you where is my reward? Pickles: sorry I taught you all the scales and vibrato you toss me overboard I slept with you all and fed you like kings and you treat me like a whore look at you now you're all such big shots hope you brought your cash oh, you owe us all for your success and we're gonna take it back this is bumming me out Skwisgaar: we needs to finds where Toki's hidden let's finds a clue and then we'll leave this land forbidden Mr.
Murderface, you're the only one we welcome here you're not like the rest of them you're better than the best of them I'm your biggest fan I hope that's clear Murderface: Ow! Sorry planet piss is my favorite band I consider you a king of this land I hope you let me take your hand and offer you a beer because I think that you know deep down you belong with us down here Murderface: so nice to be appreciated you should be ashamed of yourselves Nathan: oh, God, this sucks Skwisgaar: we needs to find that clue I'll look if you do, too what's that thing on the wall? Oh, yeah, I think I know I think I know where he is I think I knows where he is just grabs him now let's get out! Nathan: that's the worst thing I've ever known Pickles: angry broke people who think that they're owed Skwisgaar: hold ons, everybodys I've got somethings you should knows I found this flyers on the walls inside I believes I know where Toki am imprisoned our old practice space about a mile's away where Toki had his first auditions Pickles: uh-oh what's that sound? Nathan: it's the sound of angry musicians congregating we'll have to fight our way through! [ Up-tempo music plays .]
Pickles: looks like we're not out yet but these musicians ain't our friends obscure and broke they hate us for never helping them out Nathan: they're holding us back we're under attack I can fight one or two but not all of these dudes we need a plan there's too many of 'em I can't take 'em all we gotta think like one of 'em Pickles: looks like they got us beat looks like we'll meet defeat what if we gave them no reason to hate us anymore Nathan: gimme the pen I'm gonna write a check so they can buy some groceries and pay the rent Pssh! Skwisgaar: takes my strings you could probably use 'ems Pickles: take my sticks and play the drums Murderface: take my pick and play the bass Nathan: we're gonna help you rock this place the only way to get on through you is givin' it back givin' to you we won't beat you but we can help you it took some time to realize that we are just like you Pickles: I can't believe how good it feels to be giving back to you you're giving back to me I can't believe how good it feels to be giving back to you you're giving back to me Nathan: oh, no we might've beat 'em but these junkies, they need us to feed them we need some drugs Pickles: I don't have none Skwisgaar: what's we gonna do? Murderface: oh [bleep.]
We're [Bleep.]
Dr.
Rockzo: c-c-c-c-c-c-c- c-c-c-cocaine! C-c-I'll fend 'em off c-c-you save yourselves the only way to get on through you is givin' it back givin' to you we won't beat you but we can help you it took some time to realize that we are just like you Pickles: it feels so good oh, it feels so good it feels so good oh, no, no, no, no it fe-e-els so good so good I'm givin' to you Nathan: Abigail and Toki they lie beyond these walls it must be you that rescues them but I can help you through this door Skwisgaar: at times like this, I wonders should we bes a one-guitar band Murderface: I still think you're crazy fools a setup is at hand Pickles: well, I think we're in for the fight of our lives Nathan: Is it all worth it? One of us could die [ Tempo increases .]
Hold them all together while I make my way this will be an orgy of death throats will meet my blade Pickles: oh, I think this setup is a trap yes, I'm telling you there's no way to escape they got us surrounded we're unarmed and naked no one's on their way to come and save the day no one's on their way no one's on their way no one's on their way to come and save the day run I order you I'll create a distraction so you can get break through don't look back whatever you do you let them get away I do not fear you then you are a fool and you will die aaaaaaaaah [ heavy metal music plays .]
[ Men vocalizing .]
What have you done? You've murdered him this wasn't part of my plan this was never your plan my God they killed him what should we do? What should we do? Murderface: this is our chance.
We should make a run for it now what should we do? Murderface: because if that were me inside none of you would come to save me anyhow what should we do? What should we do? What should we do? Nathan: you're out of your mind because if that were you inside I'd use every breath and risk my life for you let's do what we came here to do [ Tempo increases .]
[ Growling .]
Raaaaaaaah! You took my brother from me Nathan: well, we'd rather burn in hell than let you take ours my God what is thi-i-i-i-i-i-s?! One of them has died it's all my fault I can't believe what I've seen these are not men they have the power of gods I tried to bring them down I am not the hero I am the villain and I, too, must go down aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Nathan: men and women of the earth I give to you the grand rebirth of our brother on guitar the blazing star it burns so bright the darkened power the dethly light bring it on now this is our time we're the new regime together we'll fight [ finale plays .]
Welcome to your resting place please enjoy your stay I'll be your ambassador of sorrow and decay I will take them I will break them I will claw at their flesh and forsake them seek revengeance for my brother I will not rest until I'm satisfied I'm not a terrible person I'm just a man filled with pain cast out by the Klok to live in obscurity I will pay them back the same way I'm no murderer I'm just a man I'm the judge and jury, and your case is in my hands you should be on my side and so should she when DethKlok is imprisoned, the world will thank me whoa Toki: whoa you are my bait Toki: you're scarins me they will come for you they'll be trapped whoa Toki: whoa you're scarins me please don't hurts us we ain't done's nothing wrong my apologies you're just like me a victim of the band whoa I see it all so clearly they will live just like me in obscurity Nathan: I feel this feeling and I think I'm unhappy since what's-his-face and what's-her-name have been missing the mood around here's been crappy but as bad as it gets our duty is knowing that we have a job to keep this party going! snorting coke sniffing glue smokins pot is what we do drinking beer, drinking wine and champagne, so divine partying around the world partying around the world partying around the world Skwisgaar: crystals meth my name is Skwisgaar let's go to a Swiss bar drinks somes brewskies hang out with some floozies then we'll gets slurpies maybe gets herpes keeps the partys goings keeps the partys goings Pickles: oh, no, no we don't miss people oh, we can hardly tell that they're gone Murderface: if you think bad thoughts push 'em away Skwisgaar: with certains peoples gones and the rumors goings rounds our records sell better every days and the Nathan: Abigail I knew when I met you that you had that look in your eye oh, you're sucking on an apple pie in the sky uh, you're also gonna suck my [Bleep.]
oh, yeah, well keep the party going Nathan: Oh, right, keep the party going! Keep the party going keep the party going keep the party going keep the party going keep the party going Pickles: My turn! My name is Pickles I like Don Rickles hanging out with Kony playing with a pony shootin' wolves with Palin never, ever failing snortin' coke off tits I'm the one that plays the hits where's Toki? Murderface: Oh, my God.
Where's Toki? Where's Toki? No comment Nathan: my name is Nathan the doobies are a-blazin' pissing in an old cave jackin' off on Bozo's grave crappin' in a lunch bag give it to an old hag keep the party going you know what I mean? Partying around the world partying around the world partying around the world partying around partying around the world partying around the world partying around the world partying around oh, no, no we don't miss people oh, we hardly notice that they're gone where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Where's Toki? Charles: so much time has passed since Toki was taken they left no trace of him of this I'm not mistaken this man, his abductor, with the silver face a freakish deadly demon a bastard, a disgrace born and left alone never knew his mother, who was killed during birth but left him a brother together they would train and kill those that crossed their path his brother died in Mordhaus and now he blames the band so we have our best men on it what else are we supposed to do? Charles: we must find him we must find him we must rescue him we are running out of time we must track him we must find him we must rescue him we are running out of time Toki if we don't hurry up, he just might die I report from the field information for thee that we've hired the best man to find the abductee he's the best tracker that is known around and has exceptional equipment, th sight and sound he was raised by wolves he can kill with his teeth he can blend into shadows he can hide in a tree if he cannot find Toki, then nobody can I'm telling you, sire this is our man Charles: that's good where is he? He's dead Charles: Oh.
Throw him in the garbage don't throw him away there's more we can do the dead can sometimes talk and offer us a clue sire, there's a drive hid within this dead man's torso we can play this video on the main computer counsel I see what you're doing, and you're trying to kill me but I won't let that happen 'cause I still got Toki if you send another man we will kill her and he I'll be waiting here for DethKlok in the depths of humanity we have our best men on it what else are we supposed to do we're trained to ex-filtrate him they are so good what can we do? We have our best men on it what else are we supposed to do? We're trained to ex-filtrate him we know we must save his life Charles: we must call of this search they have the upper hand I've failed at my work and I've failed this band you mustn't worry, my friend for, you see, there's an answer I know what we have to do Charles: all right let's hear it gentlemen, I must speak to you on behalf of the church of the black Klok my words will never be as weighty as they are right now this is a challenge for you Nathan: I already don't like the sound of this many years from now you'll know this moment was the one that proved your spirit you must go in alone and save your brother you mean co-worker I mean brother you means rhythms guitarist I mean brother not brother -- bandmate I mean brother uh, stop saying brother you're grossing us out thank you you must be heroes I await your decision Nathan: What is a hero? Who am I? I'm a simple multi-platinum rock star living a simple multi-platinum life I don't know 'bout that crazy world just driving this a-list mile I'm just a filthy rich economic power and all that I need, I buy oh, how can I be a hero when I'm just a krillionaire? There ain't no groupie blowjob that can help me to prepare how can I be a hero when I'm just a man that is larger than life, yeah I'm just a tiny little miniscule superstar trying to get by well Pickles: maybe if we threw this life away we could learn to live a different way Murderface: oh, I'll go back to school and get myself a degree in something [Bleep.]
useless like psychology Skwisgaar: I could gets myself a wifes and leads a different lifes and hides out in the bathroom and Jack offs every night Pickles: start driving a hybrid brag that I'm saving the planet Skwisgaar: quote "SNL" at works all days and acts likes it's ad libs Nathan: but if that's the life of a regular jackoff I'd probably just kill myself yeah! How can I be a hero when my dick is big as a shoe? There ain't no all-access passes that will help me to break through so many items on my backstage rider but there ain't no bravery I'm just the seventh top financial power but I'm little ol' me Pickles: how can I be a hero when I get everything for free? Skwisgaar: I screws mores girls thens Wilt Chamberlains I can proves it with my stds how can I be a hero when we're the world's largest metal band? Nathan: I'll never be a hero 'cause I'm better than everyone but I'm just a man I'm afraid the answer is no so, DethKlok hasn't performed in a very long while a big show is coming up which will be just in time because people around the world have been very concerned about the lack of Toki Wartooth in the press world he hasn't been seen in public where could he be? The band released a statement Charles: He's fine.
Don't worry about Toki.
Well, he's okay I guess we'll see when they play that's the DethKlok minute have a great day he's been out of the public eye we're worried we'll be denied one-fifth of our favorite band we're the power we're the fans we want answers Where's Toki? Where's Toki? We want answers where is the man? We're going online we're gonna get to the bottom of this going online we're gonna get to the bottom of this I heard a rumor from my roommate Matt that he can't play guitar because he got too fat I heard that Toki's at a rehab place because he did so many drugs that he melted his face I heard he's getting plastic surgery done they're putting in horns and cleaving his tongue I heard he's gone 'cause his hair went away they put in transplants now he's totally gay you're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You're gay! You are all wrong you don't know the whole story Toki's been kidnapped with the girl, by some men oh, DethKlok could save them but they can't be bothered these cowards may never see their Toki again DethKlok doesn't care about their best friends they will be responsible for their death Nathan: it's good to be here tonight Let me hear ya! [ Cheers and applause .]
And on rhythm guitar Mr.
Toki Wartooth! [ Audience booing .]
we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back we want Toki back Nathan: oh, my God they're leaving the show Pickles: we don't want our fans to go Nathan: I think I know what I must do people of the world, I want you to know Toki! We're coming to save y-o-o-o-ou! [ Soft guitar music plays .]
Don't be scared my little friend I am here with you things have gotten so bad but I am here with you we'll most likely die they'll pull off our skin they'll pluck out our eyes they'll play in our blood be cannibalized they'll bathe us in acid they'll chew through our brains they'll chop up our guts and cut up our veins but close your eyes drift away dream into your happy place remember the finest moments in your life it's your power and your strength you're happy place go there now now go go there now [ Heavy metal music plays .]
Pickles: Magnus has been kicked out of the band I think the four of us understand that we gotta make a record gotta make it great it's our very first one must annihilate since we fired the man, we are short one artist we need to fill the void we need a guitarist but he's gotta fit right gotta be the right vibe and he's gotta [Bleep.]
rock because we are DethKlok Skwisgaar: I disagrees for you sees we don't needs nobody else this shoulds be a ones-guitar band yes, indeeds ain't nobodys goods as me can match my speed and conquers me Pickles: look at all these hopeful auditioners oh, they came from so far away but if you show them that you are the best then, yes you may have your way if you hack all them into pieces with your mighty shredding axe then we will forever from this moment on be a four-piece and you will be the only guitarist of DethKlok Skwisgaar: all right [ Guitar solo .]
Shred its now you're goings down takes ones more this ams a war shreds its now you're goings down goings down yeah! I ams a wizard I am a sorcerer and I've proven to dis world that we don't need nobodys we ams a one-guitar band yes, indeeds you have been bested by the master bow before your glowing guitar God Nathan: someone keeps on knocking and someone's at the door let them in right now appears to be one more Toki: hellos I'm sorrys I got lost along the way my name is Toki I am just a boy here form Norway I'm so sads I missed my auditions appointments todays but I think that you should gives me a chance anyhow because I have this feeling something tells me this was meant to be do you feel this electricity? Gives me this chance Skwisgaar: all rights you seem so nice it's a shames you must go downs this way [ Guitar solo .]
Pickles: oh, you did so well Nathan: but you blew the last part Pickles: oh, you were so very close Nathan: but it all fell apart Murderface: and it's time for you to go Skwisgaar: but befores you leaves you must understand that nobodys ever made me plays this wells therefores I want you in this band Toki: I can'ts believes is this really happening to me? Just yesterdays, I was a kids on the streets my familys, they didn'ts cares about me now I've got my owns, and I can do anything yours my brothers now lives togethers now I has found a home nevers be alone we are known across this world Toki: I believe this is my dream come true and I never thought I'd have a family but that family, it is you now I can see happiness is for me, it's true Pickles: this is such a strange new crazy life Skwisgaar: everything am better now that he ams in the band this times Toki: I've never been so happys in my life my brothers gives me the power to survives I believe this is my dream come true and I never thought I'd have a family but that family, it is you now I can see, happiness is for me it's true yeah, yeah I believe I believe I believe I believe I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe Stampingston: it appears as though DethKlok is going to rescue their bandmate Orlag: and if they fail, we could lose everything Crozier: I could save them or I could kill them but I will do your bidding, my masters Orlag: so much better now that he is under your control Selatcia: Yes.
But what you should know is that we have a traitor amongst DethKlok, and when the time is right, they will be put into action.
But for now, we must watch them.
[ Heavy metal music plays .]
Charles we are running out of time you've been trained and you've been primed but before we send you out into the night accept these gifts these munitions they will aide your dark missions use them with your power and your might laser shooting lyric pen poison-dart drum stick razor-wire guitar strings bass-pick throwing star hot topic gift card that combined with a polymer will explode as the prophecy foretold the Doomstar has been born and you all will be endowed with a power known to none the Deth lights are within you all waiting to be woken and when the five are united the evil will be broken I know that you doubt yourself but you don't have to worry because we believe in you oh, they already see you as a leader and you can carry them into glory but it's all up to you, you, you you may not know you have the power but it's very clear to me that the closer you are to your brother the stronger you will be Pickles: Stop using that word "brother.
" It's weird to me.
Murderface: Yeah, 'cause he's not our brother.
Pickles: He's not our brother, right.
How dare you you should be ashamed of yourselves this is blasphemous, what you say he is your family, and he is your heart Murderface: but when you say that, it feels so very gay you must understand that if I had my brother alive the strength I would have but you don't you're all selfish bastards and you make me sick to my stomach because I do it all for my brother yes, my heart still burns for you oh, I'd wheel into battle if it meant one more moment with you but it's too late you know that it's true I'll live for you and I'll die for you I'll love for you and I'll cry for you do it all for my brother do it all I'll cry for you do it all for my brother do it all I'll cry for you do it all for my brother do it all do it all for my brother do it all Nathan: Enough of this! We've had as much as we can take of this other stuff we will go forth and rescue our bandmate as discussed Charles: before you go, I need your attention many years ago when I took this contract I swore a sacred oath to protect this new act never to deceive them or put them in harm's way lead them into danger or lead them astray the circumstances changed now I'm in the middle of the darkest times this prophetic riddle I cannot stand by and refuse protection consider this my resignation of this whole profession I was a good man for this job but it's time for me to go I cannot lead you further oh, in my heart this truth I know I bid you all farewell consider this a vacancy I wish you best of luck now you will have been the greatest work I've ever done in my entire life good day to you good day [ heavy metal music plays .]
Pickles: Ofdensen's gone, and we're on our own Skwisgaar: nice way to starts our journey with no protections Nathan: gotta find where Toki's at I'm telling you all, the answer's in your past does this sound to you like it's a clue? Magnus talking about the depths of humanity does this sound to you like it's a clue? Magnus talking about the depths of humanity oh, no, we don't know ooh ooh, ooh ooh oh, no, we don't know ooh ooh, ooh ooh Pickles: Oh, wait! They said they'd be waiting in the depths of humanity now this may be a moment of total insanity but you say the answer is in our past and the times I heard those words last was at Toki's first gig an old crappy venue a death-metal bar with a garbage-can menu I believe, and pardon my profanity that the clue is inside a [Bleep.]
bar called the depths of humanity Pickles: the depths of humanity [ Echoing .]
Please heed my warning before you enter here this is a den of resentment and jealousy inside is all that you fear stay close and keep your eyes open the ghosts of your past you will meet the failures of life, they congregate here if they bring you down, you will be beat beware Murderface: [Bleep.]
You Pickles: oh, my God our old manager Nathan: oh, my God those old groupies Skwisgaar: ohs, my gods my old guitars teacher Murderface: oh, my God a douchebag nightmare you were supposed to help me 'cause I helped you where is my reward? Pickles: sorry I taught you all the scales and vibrato you toss me overboard I slept with you all and fed you like kings and you treat me like a whore look at you now you're all such big shots hope you brought your cash oh, you owe us all for your success and we're gonna take it back this is bumming me out Skwisgaar: we needs to finds where Toki's hidden let's finds a clue and then we'll leave this land forbidden Mr.
Murderface, you're the only one we welcome here you're not like the rest of them you're better than the best of them I'm your biggest fan I hope that's clear Murderface: Ow! Sorry planet piss is my favorite band I consider you a king of this land I hope you let me take your hand and offer you a beer because I think that you know deep down you belong with us down here Murderface: so nice to be appreciated you should be ashamed of yourselves Nathan: oh, God, this sucks Skwisgaar: we needs to find that clue I'll look if you do, too what's that thing on the wall? Oh, yeah, I think I know I think I know where he is I think I knows where he is just grabs him now let's get out! Nathan: that's the worst thing I've ever known Pickles: angry broke people who think that they're owed Skwisgaar: hold ons, everybodys I've got somethings you should knows I found this flyers on the walls inside I believes I know where Toki am imprisoned our old practice space about a mile's away where Toki had his first auditions Pickles: uh-oh what's that sound? Nathan: it's the sound of angry musicians congregating we'll have to fight our way through! [ Up-tempo music plays .]
Pickles: looks like we're not out yet but these musicians ain't our friends obscure and broke they hate us for never helping them out Nathan: they're holding us back we're under attack I can fight one or two but not all of these dudes we need a plan there's too many of 'em I can't take 'em all we gotta think like one of 'em Pickles: looks like they got us beat looks like we'll meet defeat what if we gave them no reason to hate us anymore Nathan: gimme the pen I'm gonna write a check so they can buy some groceries and pay the rent Pssh! Skwisgaar: takes my strings you could probably use 'ems Pickles: take my sticks and play the drums Murderface: take my pick and play the bass Nathan: we're gonna help you rock this place the only way to get on through you is givin' it back givin' to you we won't beat you but we can help you it took some time to realize that we are just like you Pickles: I can't believe how good it feels to be giving back to you you're giving back to me I can't believe how good it feels to be giving back to you you're giving back to me Nathan: oh, no we might've beat 'em but these junkies, they need us to feed them we need some drugs Pickles: I don't have none Skwisgaar: what's we gonna do? Murderface: oh [bleep.]
We're [Bleep.]
Dr.
Rockzo: c-c-c-c-c-c-c- c-c-c-cocaine! C-c-I'll fend 'em off c-c-you save yourselves the only way to get on through you is givin' it back givin' to you we won't beat you but we can help you it took some time to realize that we are just like you Pickles: it feels so good oh, it feels so good it feels so good oh, no, no, no, no it fe-e-els so good so good I'm givin' to you Nathan: Abigail and Toki they lie beyond these walls it must be you that rescues them but I can help you through this door Skwisgaar: at times like this, I wonders should we bes a one-guitar band Murderface: I still think you're crazy fools a setup is at hand Pickles: well, I think we're in for the fight of our lives Nathan: Is it all worth it? One of us could die [ Tempo increases .]
Hold them all together while I make my way this will be an orgy of death throats will meet my blade Pickles: oh, I think this setup is a trap yes, I'm telling you there's no way to escape they got us surrounded we're unarmed and naked no one's on their way to come and save the day no one's on their way no one's on their way no one's on their way to come and save the day run I order you I'll create a distraction so you can get break through don't look back whatever you do you let them get away I do not fear you then you are a fool and you will die aaaaaaaaah [ heavy metal music plays .]
[ Men vocalizing .]
What have you done? You've murdered him this wasn't part of my plan this was never your plan my God they killed him what should we do? What should we do? Murderface: this is our chance.
We should make a run for it now what should we do? Murderface: because if that were me inside none of you would come to save me anyhow what should we do? What should we do? What should we do? Nathan: you're out of your mind because if that were you inside I'd use every breath and risk my life for you let's do what we came here to do [ Tempo increases .]
[ Growling .]
Raaaaaaaah! You took my brother from me Nathan: well, we'd rather burn in hell than let you take ours my God what is thi-i-i-i-i-i-s?! One of them has died it's all my fault I can't believe what I've seen these are not men they have the power of gods I tried to bring them down I am not the hero I am the villain and I, too, must go down aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Nathan: men and women of the earth I give to you the grand rebirth of our brother on guitar the blazing star it burns so bright the darkened power the dethly light bring it on now this is our time we're the new regime together we'll fight [ finale plays .]